Frosty Is Not A Snow Pony
Frosty Is Not A Snow Pony
Everypony in Ponyville knows Frosty. He's the quirky blue pegasus with a mane like snow who sells snow cones at his stall in the summer. His cutie mark is a snowflake and he loves all things cold. Oddly enough, whenever winter comes around, he vanishes. Some say he simply goes home for the holidays to be with his family. Others say he goes on vacation to some island in the south sea, but nobody knows the truth, only that he never mentions his family, and he's always alone.
Of course, for certain residents of Ponyville, that simply won't stand. No, that won't stand at all. Namely, a certain pink one with a passion for all things attributed to the onset of type 2 diabetes, despite miraculously not suffering from the condition herself. This pony, loathe to see anypony alone at the holidays has decided to ask Frosty to accompany her to the Hearth's Warming pageant in Canterlot.
"No Pinkie. Sorry."
"Aww but why?"
"Personal reasons."
"Don't tell me it's those snooty unicorn's getting you down."
"No Pinkie."
"Or maybe you just don't like the big city?"
"No Pinkie."
"Or maybe..." *Sniff* "It's because you just don't want to go with me?"
"No Pinkie."
"Is 'No Pinkie' all you can say?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.
Frosty looked at her and smirked a devilish grin.
"No Pinkie." That ended the sniffles and brought a giggle from the mare.
"If none of those are the reason, then why won't you go with me?" She asked.
"Well, it's a long story."
"That's okay! I like stories!"
"Well, it's just you know that pageant, how they tell the story of the founding of Equestria and the Windigo's and whatnot?"
"Uh huh! I played Chancellor Puddin Head last year!"
"Right well... every year they get it wrong."
"Oh no! Did we miss something important? Let's see... three tribes, hate, windigo's , friendship, then melting. Oooh! ooh! Maybe we didn't bring enough enthusiasm to the story! Is that it?"
"No Pinkie." Frosty replayed the same denial again. "I saw it last year and you were a very good actor, and you did all your lines, it's just that the story itself is wrong. They missed some things, got other things wrong and, well, from a certain perspective it's all rather insulting actually."
"REEAAALLY?" Pinkie asked in a high pitched tone. "Ooh! I know! Why don't we go see Twilight! If you know what's wrong with the story then you can set the record straight!"
"Ehh.... sure. I don't see why not."
"So you're telling me all this time we've left out crucial details of the Hearth's Warming Eve story?"
"That's right! And Frosty knows all about it!"
"That's right. Thank you for meeting with me about this Princess Twilight." Frosty assured.
"This is horrible. To think how long we've been misinforming everypony! The implications could be devastating!" Twilight recoiled. The thought of improper education appalling to her.
"You're telling me..." Frosty muttered under his breath.
"So... where do you want to start?" She asked.
"Well, it would probably be best to start at the beginning, and compare your version to mine."
"Okay. That sounds good to me."
"So, let's start with 'The world is filled with hatred, and the three pony tribes are divided. That's when the windigo's show up and bring with them a terrible winter, driving the ponies from their lands and forcing them to travel south to what is now Equestria."
"Right."
"So... did nopony ever think to ask where the Pony's ancestral home was?" Frosty asked.
"Unfortunately we don't have many records from that time." Twilight explained.
"Oh, I'm sure there's an account of it somewhere in the Canterlot archive, but for the sake of saving time I'll just up and tell you. It's what's now known as the Crystal Empire. See, that's actually where all Ponies come from in the first place. You've been to the Crystal Empire. What's something you noticed about it right away?"
"It's surrounded by eternal winter?"
"That's right."
"Oh, so that's the effect of the windigos, and the empire itself is protected by the crystal heart which keeps it warm."
"Not really. The heart does keep the empire warm and safe from the storms, but that blizzard isn't caused by windigos. That's actually how the land it supposed to be."
"What? Why?"
"Well the world is round and the farther north you go the less of the land is constantly exposed to the sun's warmth so it's generally pretty cold." Frosty explained. Twilight gave him a deadpan look as if to say 'I friggin know how ambient temperature is related to global location, moron.' but she kept her mouth shut so he'd continue his tale.
"The point is, for a long time, it wasn't cold and snowy, how it's supposed to be."
"Right. The ponies who lived there changed the weather to be more hospitable. Then the windigos came and made it to cold to live there."
"Any idea why the windigos went there?"
"They were drawn by the tribe's hatred of each other."
"And there's where the story is wrong."
"Oh? What's wrong about it."
"Well. Let's think about it this way. What do you think a windigo is?" Frosty asked.
"A windigo is an evil spirit that feeds on hatred and causes terrible cold and blizzards." Twilight gave the textbook explanation.
"Actually, a windigo is a nature spirit responsible for regulating the winter season." Frosty retorted. "The reason the windigos went to what is now the crystal empire is because it was time for winter. Now, I'm sure you know this because you're friends with Rainbow Dash, but what happens in Equestria if there is no winter? No snowfall? No frost?"
Twilight thought back to her visit to Cloudsdale, the best young flyer's competition. Rainbow Dash's sarcastic remark about Rarity ruining the winter snowfall and causing a drought.
"The consequences would be catastrophic." Twilight replied.
"Well. The pony tribes of the time didn't trust one another and each side was preparing for war, which meant stockpiling food. More food means more soldiers, and the more soldiers you have the fewer ponies there are to work the land, control the weather, etcetera, so having a stockpile meant that you could conscript ponies into the army without having to worry about the peasantry starving for quite some time. For this reason the unicorns decided to extend the time the sun was up, and the pegasi removed all the cloud cover, in order to extend the harvest time so the earth ponies would have a bountiful season, drive food prices down, and they could buy up all the excess to feed their soldiers once the time came to go to war with each other. At the time, the main cause of the war was that the unicorns and the pegasi were arguing over who would rule the earth ponies they were going to subjugate. Then the earth ponies caught wind of it. Up until then they had never considered the earth ponies to be a threat, right up till they got bucked in the face by one, but I'm getting off track. Basically, in order to try and field a bigger troop, the pegasi and unicorns effectively prevented winter."
"That's fascinating!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Now, winter was a normal, natural occurrence. Each side claimed they were near to starving because of it, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. They all had food to spare because they were stockpiling it. The issue was none of them were willing to part with their stash. If they used their reserves to feed their people, then they'd have nothing to feed their armies when the time came to invade... or defend. If, at the time, they had been willing to end their petty squabbles and work together, they would have made it through the winter without issue. The windigos, seeing that even with the threat of starvation in winter the ponies were still ready to be at each other's throats kept watch over them, hindering their war effort. Every time one side was ready to march on another, a blizzard or drastically low temperatures would force a delay until eventually, rather than put aside their differences and work together, ponies decided to straight up leave their homeland."
"And that's when they came to Equestria?" Pinkie asked.
"That's right. And seeing that the ponies hadn't learned their lesson, the Windigo's followed them, bringing winter with them. Now, in this region of the world there normally isn't a winter, which is why you ponies control the seasons yourselves. Otherwise the whole of Equestria would look like Appleoosa before the town was founded. In fact, that what this entire area used to look like before ponies started working their magic on it. In any case, chased into a cave by the winter storms, the leaders of the three tribes became trapped in ice... until Clover the Clever, Private Pansy, and Smart Cookie reconciled their differences. There was no giant magic love heart. The windigos, seeing that the three tribes have reconciled their differences, lifted the blizzard and returned to the north, confident that their work was done and that the ponies would live in harmony. And they were right. Look at the world in which we live. Peace and love abound, and it's all because the windigos saw fit to stop your war before it began."
"So.. it was like a cold war?" Pinkie said as she gave a sly look. Both Twilight and Frosty groaned. "What?" Pinkie asked.
"So then, the windigos weren't bad, they had the best interest of everypony at heart. Why were they considered evil in the story then?" Twilight asked.
"That's because, at the time, they were considered evil. They had driven the ponies from their home, except that it was their own unwillingness to dig into their food stocks that did that, and they had frozen the leaders of the three tribes in a block of ice. That, and the windigo's interference made the ponies suspicious of each other and had them blaming everyone else for the food shortage. At the time it seemed much easier to blame the windigos for the current situation that it was to admit that they themselves were wrong. After all, they were the 'wise leaders'. Saying 'oops' kind of saps the confidence of your followers."
"That makes sense. Thank you Frosty, this has all been very informative. I just have one more question before I put all of this in an official report. How do you know all this? And why haven't you told anypony before?" Twilight questioned.
"Well, I never told anypony before mostly because nopony ever asked until Pinkie did. As for how I know all this... everypony calls me Frosty, but my real name is Frost Jack. Now, let me ask you something. If a Lumber Jack makes trees fall, and Applejack makes apples fall, what do I do? Other than making snow cones?"
"You mean you're..." But Frosty was no longer there. Instead a well crafted ice sculpture was in it's place, holding two vouchers for free snow cones. Twilight shook her head.
"Well, I guess I need to write a letter." She took the vouchers. "Who the heck is going to eat ice cream in the middle of winter?.... SPIIIIKE!!!"