> Flowing Waters > by Storm butt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The New Beginning of an Old Ending > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps it was too much when the tan stallion found himself burying his body closer to the warm fur wall he laid up against, for the workhorse beside him made a strange stirring sound, his body shifting slightly in a groggy haze as the smaller kept his body still, his blue eyes wide as his muzzle pressed up against the other’s chest. He had to be careful when he squirmed, for he didn't want the workhorse to awaken before he was ready on his account. The sunlight from outside was pressing up against the tan stallion’s backside, the warm feeling like a blanket on top of the heated heat the other was giving off. When the other settled, the stallion felt the smile creep back onto his lips. His body ached when he shifted ever so slightly, the previous night taking a great deal of physical toll on his body, the memory only strengthened by the warm air from the other’s nose blowing onto his mane. The stallion closed his eyes briefly to take in the scent of the other, giggling as his chest ran against the workhorse's belly. The larger smelled like apples, the sweet ones that tasted even better once baked. The stallion felt his head begin to ache when he glanced the best he could in the direction of the sunlight, an unpleasant reminder of the upcoming day as he found himself squirming reluctantly out of the bed, feeling the heavy legs of the other fall off his body, clinging until the last moment. The other’s hooves fell off of his body, the sound of the bed creaking as the large stallion curled up a little with the free space found. "You’re gonna get sick, Mac.” Caramel grumbled, realizing Big Macintosh had managed to squirm out of his covers in his sleep. The stallion reached down to pull the blankets up over the large stallion, the other’s mouth falling open as he curled up further. "I'm turning into Sage aren't I?" Caramel looked to his nightstand, eyes glancing to the partially burned candle, the room still having a vague scent of cinnamon in the air. He found himself soon looking to the ceiling, groaning a bit at the chilly air filling the room. Winter was only halfway over, although the season felt like it had lasted an eternity. He supposed it could be worse, it could have been uncomfortable snuggling up next to a large stallion in warm weather, not that he had much experience in general. The sudden knock at the door made Caramel jump in his seat, the bed springs giving off a strange noise as his blue eyes flicked to the sound. “Hey, Cara are you in there?” Sage called, Caramel’s heart still beating firmly in his chest. He could hear Sage slump against the door, he imagined his brother leaning up against it as if to listen for any kind of noise. “Worked real late last night, did you take all your medicine and everything?” “Not yet!” Caramel called out, the bed making another noise as Mac shifted in his sleep. The tan stallion pressed a hoof to his forehead, the ray of light giving him a minor headache as he let a yawn out of his throat. Big Macintosh let out a rather loud yawn, his voice deep. Caramel’s heart beat again, his belly giving a brief twisting.. “That you?” Sage called through the door, his voice seemingly half interested, his tone still tired. "Meeting went well, just dead tired over it. They're talking about letting me help out with the surgeries soon... I think it'll mean longer hours and a little more random, but the pay is better. I can still be the one to give you all your medicine and monitor you though, it isn't too bad." "That's good." Caramel muttered, staring at Big Macintosh as the stallion's body rose and fell. "Something wrong in there?" “Um… M-Mac sort of…” Caramel could feel his face grow warm as he began to fiddle with his hooves, unsure of how to explain it. His voice was quiet, he knew Sage wouldn’t hear more than a mumble. He wanted to smile, he wanted to blush, he wanted to shut up and never speak. In the end he ended up struggling to find words, biting gently on his tongue as he huffed in frustration. “Oh, something happen between you two?” Sage’s voice sounded intrigued. “Did you go and see him?” “M-Mac is…” Caramel’s throat felt dry, unsure if happiness or nervousness would come out if he announced the stallion next to him. “Mac kind of…” “Hey Cara, we can just talk about it out here when you’re ready. If you’re feeling alright I’ll make us some eggs,” Sage said, a yawn in his tone as if he had just awoken. “Just go take your medicine, I don’t want that cold coming back full force.” “O-Okay,” The stallion managed to mumble out. It was strange, the events from the previous night had felt much further away than they actually were, vague memories in his mind as he ran his hoof over his mane. “just give me a seco… AH!” Caramel would have continued if he didn’t feel himself suddenly be dragged, his world spinning before a warm body was on top of him, a yelp escaping his throat out of shock before he felt those big legs wrap around his body, a deep sounding chuckle in the other’s tone as the workhorse’s green eyes met his own. “Mornin’ Sugarcube.” Mac’s thick accent was deep in tone as the two became wrapped in each other, his voice still chuckling. It was strange to see just how happy Mac looked, his face looking as if it was struggling to hold back his smile before he simply buried his face in Caramel’s neck, legs tightening their grip. “M-Mac, I thought you were still asleep.” Caramel used his upper hooves to push Mac’s muzzle from his neck, the other sitting up yet still leaning over Caramel with that simple smile as he brushed Caramel’s mane aside. “You scared me!” “Ah woke up a few times, usually an earlier riser.” Mac stated, eyes looking down Caramel’s body before he rested his hoof in the center of the other’s chest, rubbing it in small circles. Mac's hooves were rough, large and bulky, however they felt gentle when they pressed down to Caramel's skin. “Ah didn’t wanna wake ya, thought ya might be sore or hurtin’. Ya bleed a little last night and Ah know Ah got over worried but it looked like a lot." “I feel fine… Mac, um, I was sort of...” “That’s… good.” Mac’s freckles began to blend in with his red fur, his eyes looking away from Caramel before he leaned down to press his lips to Caramel’s own, as if he couldn’t help himself. He put hooves on either side of Caramel’s face. It was gentle, comforting, and easy as Mac did most of the work, pulling away briefly only to let Caramel giggle, the small stallion getting briefly lost in the moment. “Caramel?” Sage’s tone was worried, presumably at Caramel’s loud yell moments prior. “Are you alright? Did you fall or something?” “S-Sage, wait!” Caramel yelled as the laughter left his body, Mac letting him up with no more than a gentle push. The two began watching as the door to his small room flew open rather quickly. Mac let his hooves go from Caramel’s body briefly, sliding off slowly as if he were reluctant. The tan stallion noticed that his face went back to expressionless as he leaned up just enough to see the commotion. “Cara, are you alrig… uh…” Sage’s worry quickly turned into something silent as him and Mac met eye to eye. Mac’s smile had faded, his face stone once more as he let Caramel squirm to sit up, moving in front of Mac with his tan furred face turning a shade of pink. “M-Mac came over last night and we talked a lot and we made up just fine.” The stallion stammered out quickly, Mac reaching out a hoof and pressing it against his back comfortingly with little hesitation, Sage glancing between the two of them. "You bought candles?" "Eeyup." Mac answered, Caramel wondering how he could say it so bluntly while he struggled to even respond. “Good thing I’m a dead sleeper.” Sage mumbled, cleaning his glasses with a glow of his magic, seeming to take joy as Caramel gripped the blanket in his hooves and pulled at them as he adverted his eyes. “If you want I can go for a nice little walk while you grab his cutie mark again. Think I said last night I didn’t like imagining you being grabbed at by a big strong stallion. I don’t really need to see that or hear it.” Caramel felt Mac’s breath on his cheek before a pair of rough lips pressed against it. The bed began to groan as Mac’s weight was lifted from it, the stallion looking at the other as he balanced himself on his large legs. “Ah can leave. Sorry Ah didn’t ask ‘for stayin’ over.” Mac stated, his tone betraying little emotion as he got straight to the point. Sage laughed, covering his mouth with his hoof as he did so. Mac seemed a bit confused, tilting his head as he stared at the other. He looked to Caramel, who gave a brief shrug in response. “If Caramel kicked out half the mares I brought home that made him feel a little awkward I’d be pretty lonely.” Sage admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “I think I have enough eggs for three ponies. I don’t think Caramel will eat as many if his new coltfriend is there with him.” “Ya should eat till yer full, Sugarcube.” Mac stated suddenly, looking to the other with a disappointed frown. “Ah don’t care if ya gain weight, Ah ya havin' a belly.” “I-I haven’t done anything yet!” Caramel spoke defensively as he grabbed at the blankets near his lower legs, pulling them up a few inches as he gripped tightly. Mac blinking and looking to back to Sage without much thought. "Can you two just stop flirting with each other for three minutes to go take your medicine." Sage laughed, beginning to turn in the direction of the kitchen with his hooves trotting over the carpeted floors. "I will throw your colfriend out if you aren't taking it by the time it's done!" Mac looked to Caramel, a little more life returning to his eyes as he walked back to the bed, scratching at the back of his head with a dry confused laugh in his tone. He found himself blushing once more, giving a quiet huff of frustration as if he couldn’t wrap his mind around the situation. “What’s wrong?” Caramel asked, frowning with a hint of worry. “Ah don’t think AJ would joke ‘bout seeing me grabbin ya like that. Even if she did mellow out some.” Mac stated, a stumped expression on his face. “I’m glad you’re staying.” Caramel grabbed at the other’s hoof using both of his own before he grinned at the other, giggling under his breath as he rose out of bed to give Mac a gentle kiss on his nose. Big Macintosh looked to the other, smiling gently as he did so. “So am Ah.” > Icicles and Grass > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Caramel knew he was still blushing as he tried his best to keep his body from shaking, his eyes still damp as he bit into his lip, the quiet room seeming to fill with his struggle to hold back his tears as Big Macintosh glanced out the window. The workhorse looked at the damp world outside of the hospital room, the sun shining brightly as the few remaining patches of snow “S-Sorry.” The tan stallion found himself apologizing once more, feeling his damp cheeks with the back of his hoof. It was hard to keep his voice steady, for the more he found himself looking to Big Macintosh the more his belly began to twist. “Ain’t yer fault, Sugar.” Big Macintosh said, his voice calm. Caramel bit into his lip, finding it hard to keep his eyes from watering as he sniffled, his bandaged upper legs no longer hurting as he closed his eyes. “I-I know you hate seeing me cry, a-and I tried not t-to,” Caramel found himself scratching at his leg, the bandages wrapped tightly around his leg. “I just get nervous around needles and I hate when the seasons change so much because it’s nothing but getting used to all this weather.” “Spring’s nice.” Big Macintosh sighed loudly, reaching out his hoof quickly to grab Caramel’s own, pulling it away from his leg as he shook his head. “Yer just gonna irritate it, if ya do it again Ah’m gonna hold yer hoof till we leave this place.” “Is that s-supposed to be a threat?” Caramel found himself giggling as Mac wiped his damp cheeks. “You offered to do that when Sage gave me my shots.” “That… usually works on AJ.” Mac admitted as he looked to the ceiling briefly, the tiled pattern . “Ah’ll think of a good one fer ya, Sugarcube.” Even with Caramel sitting up on the stool, Mac only had to put his hooves on either side and lift himself a few inches to meet the Caramel the eye. Mac’s face had a gentle smile as he rubbed over the bandages with his hoof. “Do you have to come with me every time I go to the doctor?” Caramel mumbled under his breath, finding himself sniffling. He fiddled with his hooves to avoid scratching at his bandages, knowing Mac wouldn’t only frown at him if he did so. “Eeyup.” Mac answered quickly, pulling Caramel’s face to his before he quickly kissed the his coltfriend on the cheek, the warmth coming off noticeably made the workhorse laugh. The sound was rough in the tan stallion’s ear. “Ya don’t look that sad if Ah talk ta ya when ya cry over somethin’ silly.” “You hate watching me take my medicine, I don’t know why you come here.” Caramel sniffed. “Ya don’t mind medicine so much.” Mac responded, grabbing Caramel’s hoof briefly as he ran it over his own. “Ah know ya hate it here, ya always look like Applebloom does when Ah take her ta the doctor, bout ta cry.” “Do you have to tease me?” Caramel questioned, unable to keep from giggling when Mac grinned back at him. “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh spoke, still looking Caramel in the eye as he lifted his hoof to touch the tan stallion’s chin. “Ya always smile when Ah do.” It was a few moments after Mac began kissing him did Caramel felt his ear twitch, the sound of the door opening up as Mac pulled himself off of him slowly, more out of courtesy than the embarrassment that Caramel’s face was showing. “Can we… stop making this a thing?” Sage asked, raising his eyebrow as he show the door behind him, waving his hoof as he pointed to the two. “I mean I just thought I’d point out it’s gonna get old fast. No being on top of my brother kissing him when I walk in, that okay?” “Eeyup.” Caramel wiped his mouth slowly as he avoided his eyes from Sage, the taste of apples still on him. Mac didn’t seem very embarrassed, in fact he was still smiling at the other. Sage rolled his eyes as he lifted his hoof, visually shoving Big Macintosh away to give them space from the two of them as he walked up to Caramel, pulling out a stethoscope. “Looks like you calmed down a little.” Sage’s magic began to glow a dull brown color as he pressed the bit of metal to Caramel’s chest, the tan stallion squirming as the cold metal hit his fur. “It’s a lot easier to do this now, guess you flirting in my room pays off.” “We didn’t… ” Caramel knew his heart rate went up a bit at that comment, Sage only rolling his eyes as he lifted a hoof to gently smack Caramel’s forehead with little force. “Ow.” “Your heart rate looks normal.” Sage muttered under his breath, pressing his hoof against Caramel’s stomach briefly, feeling his legs under the bandages quickly. “You can stay with Mac if you want, but no dates or staying out in the apple field doing... stuff I don't want to ever hear you repeat." "S-Sage..." Caramel mumbled. "That's fine,” Mac spoke up, though Sage ignored him as he continued inspecting Caramel’s body. “Look, I’m gonna be in a meeting for a while tonight, I’ll probably just stop someplace on my break and get some food.” Sage said, feeling around Caramel’s throat, the tan stallion looking a tad uncomfortable when his brother forced his mouth open to peer down it. “They’re running me pretty ragged here… The surgeons get a kick out of pushing and pulling me about patients. I still gotta keep Mr. Bright Shield from going into surgery because he's about a billion years old and it could kill him." There was a twinge of bitterness in his tone. “Sorry, rambling” Sage stepped away from Caramel briefly, taking a moment to rub his eyes as he pulled off his glasses. “Big Mac, you weren’t really planning on anything important tonight were you?” “Nope.” The red workhorse shook his head, Sage giving him a brief grateful smile. “I’m worried Caramel’s immunodeficiency is gonna act up tonight, it sometimes happens after shots but it’s nothing more than getting a little dizzy or feeling sick.” Sage put his glasses back onto his face, letting out a brief sigh. “Could you stay with him tonight? I’ll probably not make it home until it’s really late." “That’s fine.” Mac answered, nodding his head, pausing briefly before he scratched behind his head. “But Uh… It’s warming up some…” “Yeah, yeah it is.” Sage agreed, his face mildly confused as Mac looked to his hooves with a slightly annoyed look on his face. “Ah um… Caramel is…” Mac let out a whinny, looking a bit frustrated at himself. “Mac’s worried if I’ll be alright to see him when it gets warm again.” Caramel spoke up, the two turning to him. “I told him I wasn’t sure… I mean I didn’t really have a reason to leave the house much before, I never really paid attention.” “That’s all?” Sage responded, pulling his stethoscope around his neck. “Caramel’s body has always been sort of unpredictable, whenever we moved I always tried to keep it in the middle of seasons because I was always afraid of making him move too much during that.” “Oh.” Mac reached his hoof around the back of his neck when he looked to Caramel. “Any reason why?” “Ah’m just worried.” Big Macintosh admitted, watching as Caramel slid off the stool to stand beside his brother. “Ah’ll be workin’ a lot, don’t want Caramel bein’ sick makin’ it even harder ta see him. There’s a few family things we do this time of year, Ah thought Caramel might like em some… gettin’ ready ta grow new trees an start harvestin’ the old ones.” Caramel trotted past Mac to the corner of the room, picking up his green saddle bags as he put them on his back, sighing loudly when he looked out the window, the dripping water from the icicles landing on the windowsill. “Oh, well it’s all depending on Caramel’s condition.” Sage adjusted his glasses as he spoke. “Though I’m reluctant to advise any heavy physical labor, or even minor as a matter of fact. Caramel doesn’t really like to admit when he’s overworked.” “I tried to tell Mac you’d say that.” Caramel spoke with a frown, moving over to Mac as he put his hoof on Mac’s neck. “He wanted to hear it from you though.” “Ah know, it’s just.” Mac looked at his hooves for a moment, kicking at the ground as he let out a whinny. “He don’t have ta help out, Ah just want him there. Whole family’s warmin’ up ta him.” “If you’re asking for my permission, it really isn’t up to me.” Sage spoke, raising a brow to the workhorse. “Professionally I can only offer advice, and personally I’m not too keen on ordering my brother around.” “Ah… Sorry Sugarcube.” Mac mumbled, his freckles blending into his fur as he briefly took Caramel’s hoof in his own, looking to the earth pony. “Ah don’t wanna be pushy.” “I know, I know.” Caramel giggled in response, Mac giving him a gentle smile that sent a brief sense of warmth through his chest. “It’s okay, I kind of want to see you and your family work.” “Good.” Mac replied, smiling happily at the his coltfriend. “We should probably be getting out of here anyway.” Caramel looked out the window, the first shades of twilight creeping into view. “You need anything, or should we head straight home? I-I can go on ahead if you want." Big Macintosh shook his head at the other, watching Sage begin to examine some papers out of the corner of his eye. “Ah don’t want ya gettin’ sick with nopony there.” “You worry a lot.” Caramel mumbled, Mac seeming to prove his words as his hooves began reaching into the tan stallion’s saddle bag, rummaging around a bit before he pulled out a green and white scarf, beginning to wrap it around Caramel’s neck without much warning. The feeling was soft, Mac’s hooves tightening it to the point of it being snug. “You know it’s warming up a lot lately.” “Not till all the snow’s gone.” Mac put simply, tying the end firmly before he began putting his own scarf around his own neck. “That why you stopped complaining that I baby you?” Sage questioned, glancing to the two with a grin on his face. He stopped rifling through his papers briefly, putting the folder on his back as he tucked a quill behind his ear, briefly adjusting his glasses as he raised his hoof. “I-I think that we should be going soon.” Caramel said, feeling the end of the scarf with his hoof. “It’s gonna get dark in a bit and Mac’s gonna wanna carry me to his home or something if that happens.” “Do ya not like it when Ah carry ya on my back?” Mac questioned, his head tilting slightly. “Ah thought ya did.” “Y-Yes. I mean no… I mean, I like it but I just…” Caramel was glad for his scarf, because Sage laughing at the two of them as he adjusted his glasses. “C-Can we just go home now?” “Alright Sugarcube.” Mac said, looking a tad confused, but not wanting to press further. “Go straight to Mac's home, if that's where you're going,” Sage told the two, raising his hoof as he waved absent mindedly at the door, picking up a new folder from the counter top. “Caramel’s a bad liar so don’t do anything dumb.” “Alright.” Mac responded, opening the door into the hallway of the hospital, several ponies passing through. He looked over to Caramel, nodding for him to head out first. “Ya ready ta go Sugar?” “Yeah, let’s head there." Caramel sighed, his shoulders feeling heavy. “Ya want me ta carry ya home?” Big Macintosh asked, his face sincere of the words. “Um… thats… I’ll let you know if I get too tired.” Caramel responded, hiding his face in his scarf the best he could. “You’re so quick to do stuff like that.” Caramel stepped out of the doorway, looking back behind him as Mac began to follow. And just before the door had shut, the small earth pony had turned around, giving a smile to his brother as he raised his hoof in a wave. And just like that, the door had shut. > Family love and Lack There Of > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Soft, delicate hairs brushed against the outer edge of Big Macintosh’s muzzle and filled his nose with a sweet but cotton-like scent that he buried his face further into. The bed creaked and moaned when he tried to absent mindedly turn away from the burning warmth on his face that irritated his eyes under their lids. When he dared to crack his eyes he was momentarily blinded by sunlight, so he pushed his face deeper into the hair before him. He felt the warm body of a smaller pony press again him in his half-asleep state, and once more without thinking he tightened his grip. He thought briefly if he might look as though he were holding a teddie bear, a very large one, yes, but he was gripping the other as such. His mind was hazy. Not the sort of haze he had felt a hoofful of times in his life where he awoke hungover, but just a tired sort of state. A fog that the chilled air outside drew him to cling to the other for warmth. Again without thinking he pressed his lips to the base of the pony’s neck, and heard a light pitched giggle and felt a squirm that creaked his rickety old bed. His head felt heavy, but his heart felt light. “Morning,” Caramel mumbled. The giggle must have been forced by the touch, because he sounded tired and slightly out of it. Big Macintosh reluctantly let him go when he squirmed out of bed, though did briefly consider the consequences of clinging to his lover and hoping he would keep the chilled air at bay a while longer. His vision took a minute to adjust to Caramel with heavy eyes and a messy mane. The blanket fell from his body and he rubbed at his eye groggily, and then shivered. Mac watched his tail wrap around his body instinctively. Caramel’s hooves were louder than they should have been, but Mac’s rickety floor sounded far too familiar to be disturbing. He moved sluggishly, Mac watched him do so. He couldn’t help but catch a brief and terribly satisfying glance at Caramel’s backside, and again his heart felt a bit lighter. “Mornin, Sugar,” Mac groaned loudly and rolled onto his back. He arched and cried out a loud, beastly yawn that seemed to shake the entire room. It was so intense that his eyes watered and he had to rub at them. He tugged at his blanket and shivered, a chill down his spine without Caramel against his chest to warm him. He looked to Caramel, who was standing in the bathroom with his hooves pressed to his face and rubbing. As if reading Big Macintosh’s mind, Caramel spoke up. “Hey, i-it feels a lot colder up here, don’t it?” Caramel’s teeth were chattering, and Mac saw him cover his mouth with his hoof in an attempt to stop them. Mac sat up slowly and hunched over his bed with his mane falling awkwardly in front of his eyes. He thought briefly about needing to get it cut, and then pushed it aside with his hoof. He looked to Caramel pop something in his mouth and then swallow, a disgusted look on his face that faded quickly. The raise in his heart at the sight of his boyfriend dropped just a touch. “Eeyup,” Mac replied, not realizing that it was a little too late and too quiet. Caramel had turned on the water in the shower and within moments a steady stream of steam leaked out from behind the curtain. Mac got out of the bed and towards Caramel. When he stepped into the bathroom he got a glimpse of his sink. Mac used to keep the bathroom tidy. He learned from a young age that owning your own bathroom meant that the smell was horrible if you neglected it. And Caramel was by no means a messy houseguest, in fact he’d be surprised if he didn’t work harder at keeping it spotless than Mac did some days. But still, bits of Caramel’s presence lingered where they hadn’t some months ago. A toothbrush beside Mac’s own, a special kind of toothpaste for sensitive teeth, an extra towel, a comb which Mac admitted he used from time to time, but the only thing he couldn’t get used to was scattered pill bottles. “Howdy, Sugar,” Mac said his good morning again and pressed his lips to Caramel’s cheek. It was warm and blushed on impact with his lips. Caramel giggled, kissed him back, and then reached for his toothbrush as well as a bottle. There were at least five of these bottles with varying degrees of medication. He tried his best not to let his face twist in an indiscernible look of uneasiness at these bottles. He never learned the names of the medication, but Caramel did. They had long medical-sounding names that all sounded the same to his ears. A year ago his medicine cabinet had nothing more than some cold medicine he used once in a blue moon, but now the place rattled with pills if he wanted to do so much as wash his hooves. Caramel downed another pill and made a strange look. This look sunk Mac’s heart momentarily, and he kissed Caramel’s forehead again. He didn’t giggle this time, and reached for another bottle. “I ain’t heard ya cough yet,” Mac said, hoping that his voice didn’t sound too pressing. He didn’t want to sound pushy or desperate, fearing Caramel might take it as an annoyance that it truly wasn’t. Caramel nodded and downed another pill. He stuck out his tongue in the mirror and then looked to Mac with large, strangely innocent eyes. “Huh?” Caramel sounded a bit confused. “Oh, y-you mean the one I had last night? Y-Yeah, guess I just slept it off. O-Or maybe you squeezed it out of me or something when you rolled onto me.” “Funny,” Mac responded with a chuckle. He wanted to hug Caramel in that moment. It wasn’t a normal hug, as he didn’t feel in a paticatuarly cuddly mood, it was more of a strange… gesture? As if to say ‘good job, you beat it’. But, he thought it would be strange to do that. He settled for kissing the tip of Caramel’s ear and playfully biting on it for a second to be awarded with a squirming lover who pushed him playfully away. That felt just as good. Mac waited patiently for Caramel to finish his rituals, and then grabbed him by the hoof and led him to the running shower. Caramel was a bit hesitant to just climb in with him, even after all this time the shyness still getting the best of him. He blushed and stood in place, even going as far as to tug a bit. “C-C’mon, we can just take turns,” He whined. Mac chuckled patiently. The way Caramel still fought him occasionally at turns like this as if they were a newly acquainted couple made his heart feel warm. It wasn’t annoying, more of a challenge if anything. He considered it a victory if he could convince Caramel without any words, but today with the sight of pills on the sink he let the game end quickly. “Ah need help washin’ my back,” Mac insisted. This wasn’t true, of course, there was a brush in plain sight just behind Mac. But Caramel paused momentarily and climbed in only to stand still under the warm water that flowed down his back. He was always like this, stiff at first. Mac didn’t think about why too hard on this, it made his head spin. It wasn’t one of the funner parts of the game. He could see it run through Caramel’s head, if Mac was really comfortable being someplace slightly scandalous with him even to someplace as innocent as a shower. He asked Caramel about it once. He remembered Caramel had gotten stiff again and answered in a sheepish “I dunno,” that he was never able to really read. It embarrassed him that he acted like this, even Mac could figure that out. If he let it drag too long without reassurance to the pony he might spoil his lover’s mood for the rest of the day if not week if he caught Caramel at a particularly bad time. Self conscious, most likely. It was bad to let Caramel dwell on his thoughts too long. Big Macintosh assured Caramel that he truly wanted him there more than anything by grabbing at him and pulling him down as he went tumbling onto his hindquarters in the tub. He pulled Caramel to his chest and laid back under the water to kiss him, first on his nose and then his lips. Caramel blossomed in seconds and then erupted into pleasant giggling. He kissed Mac back on his freckles and then his neck. He was happy again, and his self conscious behavior was gone. Mac hugged him briefly, and wondered if Caramel knew why. “Ah love ya, Sugarcube,” He told Caramel. This had become routine and possibly old to those around him, but never to him. He liked this routine. He felt safe with this routine. Caramel must have too by the way he kissed him then. The two finished washing, Mac listening to Caramel chat small talk to awkwardly avoid the topic of not-so-subtly feeling Mac’s muscles under the guise of washing. He didn’t think Caramel remembered much of what he was talking about, because at one point he started saying how weird it was that fruitcake was only popular during Hearth’s Warming Eve. He thought he was getting better at hiding how flustered he could get over small things that should have seemed normal and like clockwork by now. Mac was good at keeping his mouth shut. It worked out fine. It was sometime between walking through the hallway and down the stairs with a towel around his shoulders and his mane still wet did he begin to hear the ruckus at the breakfast table. Caramel was always behind him when they came down in the mornings. Maybe he was afraid to intrude on the family without Mac making headway. Though truthfully the looks had died down near entirely in the past year. It took a solid three months to kiss Caramel in the safety of their room where nopony watched much less stand within four feet of him in front of the rest of his family. Old habits died hard, even if scars faded fast. “Ah just can’t believe the nerve of some ponies, thinkin’ we were out here sellin’ spoiled apples! I mean honestly!” Applejack sounded frustrated, but also loud. Everypony was loud, in fact. It had a rather homey vibe that was made only more clear when Mac and Caramel were both able to slip in and be handed plates without so much as recognition of their existence. There was no shyness when Applejack said, “Ah had half a gosh darn mind ta chew the apple and spit it at her rotten an’ all if ah wasn’t the best darn seller in this part of Equestria!” There was no shyness… Well, except from Caramel who quite clearly blushed when Applejack made a loud and offensive remark about this certain mare kissing her flank like they were ten years married. “Marriage is a wonderful thing,” Granny Smith chimed in, a bit oblivious to the fact that Applejack was ticked off. Applejack might not have been physically able to give her grandmother anything worse than a roll of her eyes. “Oh it reminds me of my old sweetheart.” “Nopony was talking about marriage, Granny,” Applejack told the old pony. “What? Ah can’t hear you, Dear,” Granny Smith near yelled. Applebloom was at the other end of the table mumbling things to herself while scribbling on a sheet of paper. She had a stumped look on her face, and Mac saw that she was desperately working on about two pages worth of homework in the twenty or so minutes before she had to run to school. Mac thought about scolding her lightly, but then thought better of it when he feared it might disturb her and cause her to lose her concentration. Caramel slipped into his chair while Mac poured himself a cup of black coffee. He sipped at it and felt the bitter flavor slide down his throat refreshingly. When he sat at the table Caramel eyed it, and tried for probably the twenty-fifth time this year alone to attempt to drink it. Mac was never quite sure why he was so stubbornly adamant for liking a drink he hated. He was dying to retrieve his orange juice in seconds. Applejack made them apple pancakes. Caramel only took two, but since Mac knew he would try to undereat in front of everypony he took four. He only ate three and a bite of the fourth before saying he was full. Mac always found it strange that for a sister who made deals by spitting in her hoof that Applejack was against the idea of eating something he had taken a bit out of. Caramel ate the last one and finally looked full after that. Again, it was routine. A nice routine. “Hey Mac, Ah need you ta go chop up some of that tree out back for me today,” Applejack reminded Big Macintosh absent mindedly while sipping from her own cup of coffee that was tinted a slightly light shade of brown. “We’re running low on wood, winter’s still got a bit of oil in her joints. I know ya have a long day of starin’ at Caramel,” Caramel nearly choked on his juice. “But could ya spare an hour or two ta do that?” “Eeyup,” Mac responded. Caramel was busy recovering from his blush and sudden cough when Apple Bloom, who had remained mostly silent throughout all of breakfast, suddenly slapped her pencil down onto the table and stared wide eyed in front of her as though she had just been struck. “Aw, Luna!” She cried out and hit both hooves to her forehead. “Ah gotta go early!” “Huh?” Applejack raised her brow at the pony who was already scrambling to gather up all her papers. “Early for what? Ya ain’t even finished your breakfast.” “I forgot to ask Ms. Cheerilee if I could skip the eighth!” Apple Bloom whined and jumped from her chair. Big Macintosh blinked and watched the scene unfold without intervening and saw his sister run (more like trample) up the stairs all while whining “Oh gosh, oh gosh!” Again and again. Applejack trotted after her and stood at the base of the stairs. “Ya were supposed to ask for that day off weeks ago!” She shouted up. “I know!” Apple Bloom cried out and dodged her sister’s legs after skipping the final step down the stairs by jumping it. She jumped back to the table and managed to gulp down an entire glass of milk in an impressively short seven seconds before shoving in her crumpled homework and throwing on her bag. “Apple Blo-” Applejack tried to start, but Apple Bloom cut her off. “Shut up shut up I’m going!” She was like a speedy little demon with how quick she moved. Granny Smith had barely turned her head to the empty glass before Apple Bloom was already charging out the door with Applejack staring dumbfounded in the doorway. Mac saw through the window her charging off with her bow bouncing in the breeze. “Always till the last minute,” Applejack grumbled with a sense of bitterness in her tone that passed before Mac even had the chance to blink. The chaos ended and everything seemed to resume back into clockwork routine. Mac took the liberty of taking Apple Bloom’s dirty dishes to the sink and scrubbing them off so Applejack wouldn’t throw him dirty glares at every brush if she had to do it. “Uh,” Caramel spoke up for probably the first time that breakfast. It was enough to get Applejack and Mac’s attention, but not Granny Smith. She was reading the newspaper, though judging by the way she was still on the front page she might have just been staring with her mind elsewhere. “What’s on the eighth?” “Oh!” Applejack chuckled and shook her head as if she hadn’t realized Caramel was in on some sort of joke he had just witnessed. “That’s the reunion, y’know, the Apple one. Bunch of Apples all gather up an’ we have a big party. We had it here last time so Apple Bloom didn’t have to call off school back then. But this year we’re headin’ to Appleloosa, first year it’s been there. Ain’t got much family out there but cousin Braeburn an’ his Pa, but a bunch of relatives live close by that can lend him a hoof.” “O-Oh, right, Mac mentioned that,” Caramel sipped at his orange juice and chewed on the inside of his cheek a moment. “He talked a little about if I wanted to go… E-Even asked Sage if it was alright. Kinda embarrassing having your boyfriend ask your brother if you can go out on a little vacation, right?” Mac had stopped washing the dishes. He let the water flow over his hooves and pile into a pool now growing in the sink. It was brief and passed quickly, but at Caramel’s words his breath caught in his throat. It wasn’t quite quiet enough to hear a pin drop in the following seconds, but judging by the way Applejack grew silent and Caramel finished his juice without really noticing her expression Mac coughed into his hoof just to break the sudden spell that had fell upon them. “A-Anyway, I dunno if I want to go. Mac asked a few times but Sage would just hound me,” Caramel shrugged his shoulders. Mac turned off the sink and shook his hooves a few times to watch droplets splash against the rippling surface of the small puddle he had created. “Hey Mac, you done? I’ll wash your dishes if you wanna get started on that tree now.” Mac opened his mouth. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say really, hadn’t had enough time to think of something before Applejack interrupted him. “Y-Yeah, Mac I’ll show you where it is,” She stood up quickly and nodded her head violently towards the door. Caramel picked up on this, but didn’t mention it. He just stared at her, and then looked to Mac. He had this look that Mac was beyond grateful to see was just confusion, not guilt or a face that asked “Did I do something wrong?”. He couldn’t stand to see that right now. Mac nodded his head. He passed Caramel and paused momentarily to kiss the tip of his ear and ruffle his mane a bit. Caramel looked at the two with inquisition, but obviously lacked the courage to ask any questions by the way he simply gathered up dishes and took them to the sink. Mac gave one final look to him while a pit in his stomach formed. Outside was chilled, but not blanketed in snow. Snow was more fleeting lately, and the ground was thankfully dry when they stepped onto grass. The door shut behind them and Applejack threw him a look. This look wasn’t one of anger or embarrassment, but one of worry. She drew her lower lip into her mouth and bit on it before nodding again. Mac fought back a huff of annoyance and followed her to the back of the house in silence. He longed to look into the window they passed and see Caramel, but the sun was too bright and reflected too heavily for him to see properly in the moment he had to spare to gaze. “Look,” Applejack began. She stopped suddenly. So suddenly that Mac almost crashed into her. She looked up to him but if suddenly felt like he was being looked down at. “Are ya really thinking of bringing Caramel? As in, your boyfriend Caramel?” “AJ…” “No, Ah’m not,” Applejack groaned loudly and shook her head. Mac twisted his face in irritation when he was interrupted. “I’m not tryin’ ta make it weird or nothin’. Ah’m just sayin’ that it’s gonna be a bit of a shock is all! Ain’t nopony but us here really know that yer…” She rolled her hoof in the air as if searching for a word. Mac grew even more annoyed at this. “Y’know...” “A coltcuddler?” “Ah didn’t say that!” Applejack snapped. “But yeah, ya like guys now. That ain’t just somethin’ ya can drop ta eighty some Apples out of nowhere. Oh, Cousin Braeburn broke his leg! Oh, Uncle Apple Crisp got that new home! Oh, Cousin Big Mac likes stallions! Ponies are gonna talk is all Ah’m sayin’.” “Bout’ how it’s wrong?” Mac wanted to growl it suddenly. He felt something bitter stir within him. Things had been going well with Applejack for the better part of a year. The worst incident that had occurred was when she walked in when Mac was massaging Caramel’s back and assumed it was something much more… erotic, and screamed higher pitched than he had ever heard. And if anything they laughed it off the next morning. But this? This felt more like betrayal. “Ah didn’t say that!” Applejack blew a whinny as hard as she could. “Stop puttin’ words in my mouth! Ah know what Ah’m sayin’ an’ ya know it too! I ain’t afraid of bein’ ashamed of ya or nothin’ like that, cause Ah won’t be. Ah’m worried how they’ll treat ya… if they’ll treat ya like… Like Ah treated ya,” Applejack spit in a way that looked angry, but Mac wondered if she suddenly also tasted the bitter venom of a bad memory on her tongue. She took her hat off her head and stared at it momentarily before putting it against her chest and looking to Mac with sincere, honest eyes. “Mac, it’s a knee-jerk reaction, ponies get em when confronted with things. Ah made some dumb jokes back before ya even met Caramel that Ah’d kick myself fer doin’ now.” “It doesn’t… matter if Caramel’s a stallion,” Mac spoke the words and wanted them to be true. He wanted it so bad that he grinded his teeth and glared at the ground in a hard, cold stare. “Braeburn’s like me, ain’t he? Had a few boyfriends past few years.” “Braeburn can handle a joke or two,” Applejack insisted and took a step forward to place a hoof on Mac’s shoulder. Mac’s face twisted further in annoyance at the facts being placed before him. “Ah know ya got tough skin but you got a big heart that acts real silly if Caramel gets hurt. It’s gonna get real ugly real fast if Uncle Golden Apple says somethin’ that’ll make Caramel upset an’ you deck him. Ah mean, Ah’d root fer ya and ya know it but ya love those ponies more than Ah do! Ya don’t think straight when Caramel’s involved.” Big Macintosh sighed heavily. It felt weighed, mostly because what Applejack was saying made more and more sense the longer she talked. He could think of a dozen times where he did the wrong thing or said the wrong word to a pony for the sake of Caramel. He had once gotten both him and Caramel banned from a bar for a week because a drunken stallion called them a couple of Coltcuddlers when they so much as hugged when meeting up. It had spoiled the evening and Caramel didn’t so much as hold his hoof till the next day he was so embarrassed. “Ah don’t…” “Ya do.” Applejack was blunt. It hurt to hear, but it was true. “It’s…” There was a silence, a long one. Applejack had said what she wanted, that much was clear. She was finally giving him a chance to speak and his words were fumbling around in his head. He rubbed at his temple and began to feel frustrated, but didn’t let it show past a brief grind of his teeth. “Ain't’ it...” He began with a look of defeat spreading onto his features. From his slumped lips to his flattened ears he said the words sheepishly. “Ain’t it worse ta hide him and have him think Ah’m ashamed of him? Ah don’t… want him comin’ ta me an’ askin’ why I won’t let him see everypony. Ah love him, Applejack.” Applejack swallowed a lump in her throat. It was visible and hard to watch. She looked to her hooves and even paced away for a few seconds and then returned. Mac felt his chest grow heavy. It made him uneasy to think about, and watching Applejack think so intently was becoming harder to watch by the second. “What do Ah know?” Applejack shrugged her shoulders. She sounded fake, and it was evident. It wasn’t mean spirited, in fact Mac thought she was trying to convince him. “Ah mean, maybe we’re the old crusty Apple Family members who reacted embarrassingly. Caramel will… he’ll be happy you’re there with him.” “His family ain’t…” Mac bit his lip. He had almost said something personal, something Caramel might even get upset at him for saying. “He ain’t got much of a family but his brother. Ah want him ta feel like we can share ours. Ah don’t wanna hide him.” “I know you don’t,” Applejack sighed. They seemed to be at an even eye level now. She frowned, and then smiled, and then frowned again when she couldn’t make it seem convincing enough. Mac thought the look in her eyes was a bit hopeful, but he considered maybe he was being ironic in thinking so. “Look, this isn’t much of my concern to begin with. Look why don’t Ah go and send Caramel out here. You can talk with him and put the tree off if ya want. Ya look like ya need a little cheerin’ up.” Big Macintosh raised his brow. “Well, ya always look like ya got this dumb smile on yer face when he’s around,” Applejack joked. Big Mac smiled, though it felt tight and hurt a little. It was impossible to deny though, not that he wanted too. The thought of Caramel being here like they weren’t talking behind his back did make him feel a little better. “Eeyup,” Big Mac admitted with the faintest hints of a blush on his cheeks. Applejack nodded and turned. She seemed a little desperate to get out of the situation she had single hoofedly dragged herself into. Big Macintosh watched her look back once, twice, and three times before disappearing over the side of the house. His stomach twisted in a knot when he was left alone to his own thoughts. He felt a mixture of guilt and annoyance seeping through his blood. He was far from comfortable. Even when Caramel rounded the corner he still felt off. For a while he felt like he was acting something out. Going through the motions, as one would say. Caramel asked him what was wrong a few times, but he always responded he was feeling a little off. His body felt a bit heavier for the rest of the day.