Why must you be so serious?
AN: I DO NOT own anything presented here except the story itself.
Why so serious Sombra?
Note: This story is set so Sombra never became evil. He's a regular pony like everypony else.
“Come on Sombra, it’ll be fun!” Pinkie pie shouted happily.
“I said I don’t want to go to your party pinkie.” Sombra said with very flat tone of voice.
“But everypony always wants to go to a pinkie pie party! To not go is to miss the chance of a lifetime!” Pinkie exclaimed. Suddenly her tone shifted noticeably to a more serious and direct tone. “You haven’t come to a whole lot of my parties Sombry.”
“It’s not that I hate your parties if that’s what you’re implying. It’s that I just didn’t feel like I would fit in.” Sombra replied. In truth, Sombra was the only pony who pinkie truly stopped to listen to.
Not breaking out of her serious tone, pinkie drew up a counterpoint. “Look Sombry, we’ve been married for the past two years, and you have been trying at the very least to come to my parties, there’s no denying that. Though I noticed you the most out of everypony at the party, because you were always so serious, never taking anything lightly. I want to help you have fun, but you have to at least try.”
Sombra shifted the way he was standing and contemplated his life for a few moments before breaking the silence with a point. “Pinkie, you’re right. My life wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always so serious. In fact, I remember actually feeling joy once or twice.” Pinkie was shocked to say the least. Being the always happy pony she was, and being married to Sombra were two completely different things. She knew that he hadn’t felt happiness, but she never knew that he was capable of such a thing. She’d always just assume that he would remain his ever-presently serious self, but after hearing that sentence, she wanted to help him even more.
With a new determination to get to the heart of this problem, Pinkie decided to press on. “What happened Sombry? Did something so bad happen that you could never be happy again? Did you fail on a relationship? Did you fail magic school? Did you-“
Pinkie’s onslaught of words was cut short by a metal-clad hoof in her mouth. “My past was very complex Pinks. Like I said before I was happy, but then it happened.”
“What? What happened?” Pinkie asked with great concern showing in her voice.
“My first relationship happened. You actually hit the nail on the head with the relationship question, but I digress. Her name was Morning Breeze. She was the light of my life, and she was one of the very few ponies that I felt like I could talk to. And she was the only pony who could make me happy. That is until things started to go south.” Sombra said with the faintest hint of sadness which had leaked its way into his voice.
Pinkie wanted to press the matter further with another barrage of questions, but for once, wanted Sombra to finish the story, as she was captivated by everything that Sombra was telling her.
“She became enigmatic, or hard to understand. For the longest time I tried to figure out what was on her mind, but she wouldn’t tell me. She was such a naturally happy-going and vocal pony, always voicing her opinion, and making sure that I was happy. Over time that personality quickly became selfish and she became very profligate with what bits I had. I grew tired of the personality that I was looking at and I wanted to see my wife’s original personality alive and bucking. I wanted to buy her something nice, maybe make her happy myself, but when I went to where I stored my bits, I found out that they were gone, as well as she.” His voice by that time had dropped in volume down to a whisper as a few tears began to drop at the past memories coming to haunt him.
Pinkie by this point was fuming in an emotion she rarely felt… anger. She never knew that a pony could do that to another. She imagined that the pony in question would not be having a very nice night when she was done with her. She wanted to help Sombra out of his pain, but realized that he wasn’t done.
“After I realized that she had abandoned me, my heart was broken. I was sad for a few years, but I got over it, and continued on with what little I had left. Then one of the best things of my life happened. I met you. You are the only pony who makes me smile now, even if I don’t show it. I still smile on the inside.” Sombra said the some of the hope peaking up in his voice. Pinkie Pie was shedding a few tears of her own as Sombra’s words impacted her, as she had never heard Sombra be so passionate about a mare, much less his words.
“I’ve tried my best to forget Morning Breeze, but anytime I’m with you, I’m reminded of her, and the pain she caused me.” Sombra said, his voice growing darker once more.
Pinkie didn’t realize how outraged she was. She thought to herself that she had calmed down, but that last statement pushed her bit too far. “Come on Sombra! Let’s go!” She yelled in a blind fury.
“Where to?” Sombra asked, though he already knew the answer.
“We’re going to fix this! Right now!” Pinkie yelled back in anger. For the first time in his life he feared Pinkie. While some of her anger had been cooled, she was still quite fierce as of the moment.
“I don’t know where she lives though.” Sombra stated with a hint of anger in his voice.
“That doesn’t matter. I know everypony, and I mean Everypony in Ponyville, so finding her should be far too easy.” Pinkie said cheerfully. Sombra was mystified at the Pinkie before him. She was just angry a few seconds ago, and now she was eerily happy and calm. This version of Pinkie, from the events that had transpired over the course of about ten minutes, was far scarier than the last.
“Note to self. Don’t get Pinkie riled up or upset in anyway shape or form…” Sombra told himself in what could be described as a barely audible whisper in his head.
The trek to Morning Breeze’s house wasn’t all that long. Pinkie had a bone to pick and gouge this mare with, and she was going to get it. Pinkie still had her fiery persona for a few moments before asking Sombra, “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Quite certain Pinks. She stabbed me in the back.”
“And now it’s time to make her pay.” Pinkie said calmly.
The door was shut as yelling was heard inside.
“What do you want from me?” Asked a rough-voiced stallion.
“More bits! That last stallion I stole from, sombrero was it? He never had enough!” The other voice was pumped with anger from the previous memories that found their way into her head.
Sombra felt like his heart was ripped in two as he looked down in despair.
The bickering went back and forth for a few minutes longer before Pinkie had enough. She approached the door and knocked very calmly.
“Who is it!?” The two asked simultaneously.
“It’s a mare you probably know, as well as a stallion that you haven’t seen in years.” Pinkie replied in the calmest voice possible.
“Oh I have absolutely no clue who you are talking about. Unless of course, you are talking about that worthless piece of trash known as Sombra.” Breeze sneered. “He never provided enough at the house, so I left him and found someone better.
“Yeah! You two sounded so much happier together! You know with the arguing and random items crashing together!” Pinkie exclaimed with a sick sense of happiness. “Sweet Celestia, its’ just like my relationship with Sombry, only ours actually works! Who would have thought?"
If anypony thought that Morning Breeze was mad before, they triggered what would be hell on Equestria. That is, if it was any other mare than Pinkie. Pinkie took all of the anger that Breeze was generating and completely ignored it, adding her own opinions far too quickly to match Breeze’s.
Breeze thought that she’d seen enough to know this mare’s personality. Pinkie was very happy, and always in your face. However, Breeze was taken far off guard when asked a simple question from said mare in such a calming voice... “What do you think of Sombra?”
Her response was exactly what Sombra had been expecting. In the most aggravated tone of voice with quite a bit of venom laced into each word, she answered “He’s weak, has no sense of provisional skills, and overall is just a poor excuse for a stallion.”
As her mane went flat, she completely ignored the remarks made to Sombra and asked him, “Hey Sombra, you know what it’s time for?” Sombra’s gaze suddenly turned to a very sinister grin. The poor stallion that Breeze was married to shook in fear. Pinkie took out her party cannon which materialized out of thin air. “How she did that? I will never know.” Sombra thought to himself. She rolled it up to Breeze very quietly and asked her to get in.
Morning Breeze was shocked and confused to say the least. “Is this mare crazy or something!?” She asked herself. She very uncharacteristically replied in a very shy tone and stammered a bit, “Uh- No thaaa-.” Her answer was cut short by the force of being lifted forcefully off the ground and shoved into the cannon. Using a staff from Celestia knows where, Pinkie pushed the mare in with absolutely no remorse. She honestly couldn’t care whether or not she was in pain, mainly because… well you could guess that.
“Sombra, would you do the honors?” Pinkie asked in a very regal imitation of Princess Luna. “I’d be glad to Pinkie.” Sombra replied rather happily for once. Before Sombra lit the fuse, he turned to the stallion who was currently cowering in terror. “I would recommend trying to find a different mare. One who doesn’t treat you like dirt preferably?” Breeze was shouting a few choice words when an apple was hastily shoved into her mouth by Pinkie. The stallion nodded and watched in glee as Sombra lit the fuse.
Only mumbles were heard through the apple as Breeze tried to struggle to get out of the cannon. “MMMM! MMMF-“
Before anything else could be said, the cannon went off, as well as Pinkie’s mane. The happiness she felt with Breeze leaving was almost as good as any time she was with Sombra. Almost.
“And with her out of the way, you know what this really calls for… (A few seconds and some confetti grenades later) A PARTY!” Pinkie exclaimed with far more happiness than before.
The party lasted for hours and Sombra forgot all about Morning Breeze. The whereabouts of the mysterious stallion that Breeze was with remain unknown, and Sombra was okay with that. He just knew that the mare would never be seen again.
Sombra walked up to Pinkie and thanked her all that she had done for him. “No problem Sombry! Happy to help!” Sombra didn’t feel content quite yet, so in an act of passion that Pinkie might typically start, he kissed her. It was about a good ten seconds before it broke. Pinkie’s blush was so deep that it was laughably visible. Staring each other in the eyes, they knew that everything would be ok.
In the Everfree Forest hours later…
A figure was seen emerging from the crater that was created, smoldering. “I’ll get that mare… I’ll get that mare, AND MAKE HER PAY!” She laughed dementedly, as she stalked throughout the forest like a snake in search for its prey; she searched for her new target, mumbling random songs and gibberish as she trotted aimlessly.