I am so, so sorry for everything I put you and the girls through eleven years ago, for everything that happened since I disappeared. Had I been a stronger person, none of this would have ever happened. We’d just be a happy family, just like good old times.
I think back, and I know how it must’ve hurt so much more for you, Taiyang, and Yang and Ruby too. I’d left you with no answers, nothing but grief.
But I need to explain myself. When a Grimm kills, they leave nothing behind but blood and memories. It must’ve been a storm, blizzard, something of the sort, and Qrow and I got separated. It would’ve been so easy to guess the worst, and he would never have left without looking for me.
Even after all these years, I still have no idea how I got to this place. After learning all I could, I can only conclude that it’d been through a portal, a gateway, or something of the sort. It’d been covered by the storm.
‘Equestria’, Taiyang… The people here are ponies. It’s funny, I know, that’s what I had thought at first. And I became one of them. A human-turned-pony. It was magic. I’d never seen anything like it. The closest thing would be our Dust and Semblances.
My first impression is that this world has no Grimm. It was an unprecedented era of peace, with nothing to fight against. I couldn’t ever fathom a world where we could not only survive, but also thrive.
The thought sickened me. I never wanted to be thought a deserter, and that’s exactly what I became. How could I stay here when we were on the brink of being wiped out?
Of course, I was wrong. The Grimm were present, but under a different name, a different form. They weren’t the endless, unconscious beasts that we had sworn to fight against, Taiyang, but intelligent, powerful beings that even alone could lay waste to the world! It wouldn’t have been so farfetched to call them gods.
I wanted to get home. But I refused to turn my back on the ponies - the people - that needed me. It was evident that I had power that they did not. Why should I have a horn and wings when they had only one of the two, or neither? Why did I have the power I have?
They feared me, but I proved myself to them. I defeated the Grimm that was as god, and they came to respect me. They came to accept me.
But I never stopped searching for a way home. Going through mirror after mirror, finding gateways to countless worlds. But no gateway led to Remnant, and I tried so hard to find the path I had taken to get here. Maybe these worlds are simply ‘incompatible’, as I have read. Maybe it was by pure chance that I wandered here, hurt and alone.
It tears me apart to say that after all those years of searching for a way back, a way home to you, I gave up. I gave up.
I’ve worked it out. It’s been eleven years for you and the girls, Taiyang. But it’s been eleven hundred for me. These people come and go like the seasons, and me… It’s as if I’m still at home. I feel like I’m forty, the tests I’ve had run all confirm that I’m aging at the rate that I should be.
When it’s a century for me, it’s just a single year for you. Time ticks so much faster for these ponies, but to me it’s as if I’m still playing by Remnant’s rules.
You need to understand why I can’t come back. The people here depend on me as their protector. I can’t turn my back on them now. I need you, Taiyang, and Yang and Ruby as well, more than I can ever tell you. But they need me, too.
I have long met a pony that I can easily, and do, call a sister. I have adopted a niece, I have taken many students over the years. I have made countless friends, Taiyang, many that I have loved, and lost.
But never, in all my eleven hundred years of being trapped here, have I ever taken in a husband or children. I stayed loyal, Taiyang. No one here could ever replace you. No one here could ever replace my girls.
Taiyang, if you ever get this letter, please find it in your heart to forgive me for being too weak to find my way home. Tell Yang and Ruby that I love them, and that no matter what they do with their lives, I will always be proud of them. I love them, and I can’t say enough how sorry I am that I abandoned them, and you.
I don’t know what you’ve done for the past eleven years. But please, if you blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who left Yang, doing exactly as Raven did. I was the one who left Ruby without a mother. And what a mother I was! What happened to that promise that I would always protect them? What happened to the promise that everything would always be okay?
What kind of mother am I, to leave my beautiful daughters when it’s the exact thing I swore I would never do?
I can’t follow this letter to you; I can’t leave my sister, niece, student, and country behind. I can’t, when I’m the only one holding these Grimm back. My Semblance was always heat manipulation, Taiyang. Here, it's as if my power had been increased a hundred-fold. Here, I'm needed, because I'm the only one who can do what I do.
But I promise, my love, I promise that we will meet again.
– Summer Rose
She had lowered her quill just as the door knocked, tearing her out of the melancholy haze that had settled over her. Flicking back a loose lock of mane with a slight shake of her head, she glanced at the letter, before turning to the door behind her.
“Ma’am?” a timid voice called, somewhat muffled through the thick oak door. “The meeting is about to start. They- They told me to remind you…”
“Thank you. I’ll be out in just a moment.”
She returned her attention to the letter, a soft corona of golden magic lifting it as gently as a mother would a foal. Carefully, slowly, she curled the parchment, wrapping it within a crimson ribbon.
And then she paused.
Eleven years or eleven hundred? Could a single letter possibly alleviate some of the pain? Or would it just add to it? Sending it would be almost cruel; how could she taunt the love of her life with the prospects that she was still alive, still in love? It had been eleven years. A lot could've happened. Making up her mind, she exhaled, closing her rose-pink eyes.
The edge of the paper burst into golden flames, enveloping the letter until there was nothing left. On its way to the world she abandoned. She could only hope that everything could turn out for the best, yet experience had taught her that fairy-tale endings were just that; fantasy.
Sighing, she pushed herself to her gold-shod hooves, and pulled open the door with a small burst of her magic. The maid backed up, evidently having been pressing her ear against the door, her expression changing from one of nervous guilt to that of concern.
“Ma’am… Have you been crying?”
The mare brushed away the tears with a rose-white feather, watching the little beads of moisture coalesce along the vanes. Idly, she wondered why she hadn't noticed them earlier. They hadn't been unexpected. Setting aside that she would process the thought later, she folded her wings back along her side with a dainty flick.
“I suppose I have.”
Seemingly forgetting her position in the face of her mistress' possible sadness, the maid pressed on nervously with another question, “Are you- are you all right?”
“No,” she smiled, in spite of herself. Even after all these years, her little ponies still found it so hard to speak freely in her presence, no matter how many times she had to assure them that she was no better than them. Maybe, in time, they would come to realise that her words were truer than they thought. “but I'll be fine. Thank you, Miss Antares.”
Leaving the maid behind to return to her duties, Princess Celestia set off down the brightly lit hallway alone, a smile still lingering upon her muzzle. The faint smell of roses seemed to hang on the air, as fresh as the last rose of summer.
I am so sorry for leaving you, with nothing but a letter. But I promise, it will not be permanent. I regret to say that I couldn’t have told you in person, but you would’ve tried to stop me. If you didn’t, than Twilight would. I know you both too well.
I’ve known you both long enough to know that you would say that this is a bad idea. But this is my only chance. I need to take it, now, or lose it forever, and I refuse to live my life knowing that I hadn’t taken that chance.
Please, look after Equestria while I’m gone. Be strong, Luna. I don’t know how long it will take. For you, maybe, it might even be centuries. Everything is as I explained. Celestia, or Summer Rose? No more lies. No more secrets. No more letters.
I’m so, so tired of this pain. I have gone to make amends with my past. Maybe then, I can finally enjoy Equestria, with the knowledge that even if I did abandon my family, they’ll know at what cost, and for what reasons.
Forgive me, sister, for being too weak to protect the people I love.
- Celestia
Luna –
How are you?
I’m sorry it had taken so long to get a letter. Even here, I can still feel my magic, yet actually using it was another matter all together. I got it figured out, finally. I have a curious little theory, that I’ve had this power my entire life, yet just never realised it until it became my very being, something I could use without a second thought. It’s like our Semblances, but… more? But, I digress.
Things here are starting to look up again. But all we remember, all of us, is the emptiness and pain that I had left behind. For how many years did my family believe me to be dead? A mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, gone as so many had gone before me?
Maybe eleven years just doesn’t feel as long to me anymore.
They had all found closure, in some way or another. A huntress dying on the job wasn’t uncommon, not by a long shot. I should explain; a huntress, or rather, a hunter, is someone who had dedicated his or her life to fighting Grimm. Evil, dear sister, the personification of evil.
How dearly I have wished that my home could finally be free of this blight! No matter how hard we have tried, no matter how many we slay, another Grimm is always there to take its place. That’s how our world works, and that’s how it will always work.
The thing is, unlike everyone else that lost their lives to the Grimm, I came back. I defied the expectations.
Tell Twilight that I say hello. I’m curious to hear how she’s been keeping busy.
- Celestia
Luna –
Aha! I’m glad to hear what she’s been up to – what an intriguing experiment! I am interested to see how it goes, this could revolutionise magic as we know it!
Another update on life here, I suppose… my girls are at that stage, they believe that I’d abandoned them. Not unfounded, of course, not unfounded… I’ve tried to explain to them why, and how, I couldn’t come back until now. It’s just one of those things that will take time to fade.
Not heal, dear sister, but fade. None of us will ever forget that void I left, we can only move past it.
When I really think about it, my Yang really does remind me of you. Determined to protect the people, or ponies, that they love, no matter the cost. Sound familiar, dear? I’d only known you for a measly hundred years -oh, I know what you’re thinking, it hasn’t been that long at all- but I know it when I see it.
Tenacity, Luna. Stubborn. A little bull-headed.
Keep in touch. I want to know what’s going on in Equestria. I still don’t know when I can come back, but I’ll see what I can do.
- Celestia
Luna –
Maybe returning was a mistake. I can’t bear to leave them again, but I can’t just forget about you, about Equestria. I can’t just pretend that none of it happened, not when it’s been- what? Eleven, eleven hundred years? Does it really matter?
I’m sorry. Truly. There is no one to blame for my predicament but myself.
We’re together again, and that’s what matters, right? But, it isn’t right. How does anyone expect me to choose? Country, or family? What is more important?
One way or another, I’m going to tear the hearts of one group. Luna, I’m so sorry. You deserve better than the likes of me. You all do.
I don’t know what to do.
- Summ Celestia
Luna –
It’s almost funny, how uncannily similar my Ruby is to Twilight…
Please, Luna, tell her that I miss her. Twilight. More than anything.
I feel so guilty.
Ruby, at least, knows what I want to do. Home here, home there. I’m a despicable mother. I can’t ask them to come with me, to just leave this world behind.
Twilight would never leave her friends behind. Ruby and Yang would never leave theirs. Do you see the connection, Luna? Here, and there. Student, and daughter. How many differences are there aside from the superficial details?
No, I’m kidding no one. Daughter and daughter. Twilight is so much more than just a student.
Letters may be a bit scarce. I knew people would notice, when a supposedly long-dead woman reappears among their midst. They’d want to know how I did it.
Luna, the only thing I can really say is that these people aren’t like ponies. They will do anything for knowledge. They’ll do anything for a new weapon.
Why do you think I tried to guide Equestria towards harmony? There is none of that here. Beneath the surface, it’s just every man for themselves. Everyone is a pawn in one huge war, just another blow against an enemy we’re not even sure the identity of. That may be a rather melodramatic way to put it, but it’s true.
The Grimm are a cover-up for something. I’m sure of it.
I hate it, and I hate that my own daughters are walking blindly into something they may not even come out of alive.
Where’s the harmony in this place?
- Summer
Luna –
A long overdue reply, I know. I couldn’t risk it earlier, or they’d want to know… Yes, I’ve managed all right.
How are you doing? Things are good here, of course, aside from all the questioning. I’ve stayed true to my beliefs, Luna; I haven’t mentioned a single word to them about Equestria. Ozpin has been a good friend during these last few months. I’ve needed the support.
I know you’re going to ask, dear, so I’ll say it now. He’s a little like Starswirl. Yes, yes, you might say that’s why I’ve been so drawn to him since the start. I get it.
He’s gone completely grey since that last time I’ve seen him, and he’s hardly older than I am. The poor man, all that stress must’ve been getting to him. That’s the thing with childhood friends; change is always a tough blow, and especially after so long.
I’m conflicted, Luna. I’m so close to making a decision, so close, but…
Please, the only thing I ask for is that you understand my reasons. Family is the most important thing I have ever had, and I thank you, you and Twilight, for making those last few years in Equestria some of the best in my life.
I’ve only known you both for so short a time. We had been together just a touch over a century before you fell to the Nightmare. Twilight was barely an adult when I came back here to Remnant.
Maybe things will be better.
- Summer
Luna –
We both knew that this was coming, how I wish that this wasn’t the case.
Luna, I’m staying here. Maybe I’ll come back sometime, to visit, but I am no longer a princess of Equestria. Tell the whole world, sister. Tell the whole world.
It would’ve been years since I’ve left Equestria, and I know that you, Twilight and Cadance have done a fantastic job ruling together in my absence. Please, I can only ask that you continue the hard work. If not for me, than for the generations of ponies that have lived in our great kingdom, and for the generations more that will come to be.
Perhaps it’s for entirely selfish reasons, but Luna, was I not always discontent by sitting by as the passive ruler? It was my job to defend civilisation from evil. Playing the princess, letting others do the work – it hurt. I can’t stand it anymore.
I’d sooner die than stand by and watch other people take the hit. You’ve always known that.
Luna – I love you, I always have, and I always will. Those one thousand years you were gone, they were the absolute worst of my life.
And now, to the two other ponies that has made living in Equestria worth it.
Cadance – You were a great comfort for me, after all those centuries of reigning alone. Remember my excitement, when another alicorn rose to join me by my side? You will do great things, my niece. I knew it when I first met you, I knew it when you and dear Shining Armor cast out the changelings, and I know that you will continue to do so.
Twilight – Twilight, I love you as a daughter. Ever since I met you, ever since you passed that entrance exam, I knew you would be the one. That you would become the student that was so much more than just an apprentice.
And I was right! You liberated my dearest sister from the darkness that had long claimed her heart. You had defeated, and later even managed to reform, a being that was so devoted to spreading chaos. You passed the test.
You had done, what only one other pony had ever managed, and that was to become my equal. Twilight, you had become an alicorn. Words cannot express how proud I am, that you had come this far!
