1 Wellies & Stetsons
Pinkie Pie and Applejack were killing time at Sugarcube Corner looking through each other’s family photo albums.
“Uh, Pinkie Pie, did you draw all over your pictures?” asked Applejack.
Pinkie’s parents, sisters and grandmother appeared to have had moustaches, missing teeth and devil horns inked on them. But Pinkie took one of the photographs out of its slot.
“Nope. Just the sleeves,” she answered.
Applejack chuckled when she saw that the photographs were still intact.
“There ain’t nothing you won’t do for a laugh, is there?” she grinned.
“Nope. You wanna borrow a marker?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Uh, no, I’d rather not draw on my…” Applejack started to say. “Well, maybe Aunt and Uncle Orange.”
“Your swanky aunt and uncle from Manehattan?”
“Yeah. I mean, they ain’t nasty or nothing, but they never come to our family reunions,” sighed Applejack. “They’re the only ones who missed out on our last big one.”
“But they did try to teach you how to be posh when you visited them that one time,” said Pinkie Pie.
Applejack grunted. “They were embarrassed by me. They thought I was too country. Anyway, you don’t mix well with hoity-toity ponies either.”
A monocle suddenly appeared on Pinkie Pie’s face.
“I’ve been practising,” she said to the surprised Applejack. “Octavia taught me how to play classical music on all my instruments, Beignet showed me how to make fancy-pants eats, and I studied up on tap dancing when your sister had the cutie pox. I’ll betcha if we get another invite to the Grand Galloping Gala, I’d fit right in.”
“Sorry, but I just can’t picture it,” said Applejack.
Pinkie Pie laughed. “I get it! Picture it! Ha!”
“Heh?”
“Cause we’re looking at pictures!” Pinkie Pie laughed so hard, her monocle fell off.
While Pinkie Pie laughed herself silly, Applejack started drawing wellington boots and Stetsons on the plastic sleeve covering her photograph of Aunt and Uncle Orange.
Pinkie Pie stopped laughing. “Hey, you shouldn’t draw on them because you don’t like them. That’s not why I drew on my mom and my dad and my sisters. After all, they were happy I lifted them out of the dumps. And they totally supported me when I said I wanted to go into party planning and cake making.”
“You know what my aunt and uncle said to me when I told them my favourite dessert is apple pop-overs?” asked Applejack. “They said how do you pop over an apple?”
Pinkie Pie laughed so loud, she woke the Cake twins from their afternoon nap.
“They just don’t understand ponies like me at all,” frowned Applejack after Pinkie Pie made several hasty apologies to Mrs Cake.
“That doesn’t make them any less family, does it?” asked Pinkie Pie.
Applejack didn’t know how to answer that.
“Well, does it? Does it? Huh? Huh? Huh?”
Weeks later, Applejack discovered that Pinkie Pie must have been right. Aunt and Uncle Orange had recommended Applejack to help cater a benefit concert in Manehattan. When she got the invitation in the mail, she told Pinkie Pie right away.
“I guess you were right,” she said. “My aunt and uncle do consider me family, no matter what our differences are.”
“What’s that?” asked Pinkie Pie, pointing to a black smudge on Applejack’s hoof.
“Oh, I rubbed the marker off their pictures after I got the invite,” replied Applejack.
Pinkie Pie smiled. “Nice to know you’re gonna get to spend more time with them.”
“Oh, I ain’t going.”
“WHAT?!”
“Well, I appreciate the thought and all,” said Applejack, “but this concert thingy’s a high class event. They wouldn’t want anything I make. And I hated acting for those upper-class folk when I was at that dinner party.”
“Hey, acting’s fun!” insisted Pinkie Pie. “You just didn’t like it because you thought you’d have to do it your whole life. Give it a try, huh? I’m sure you’ll like it better this time.”
Applejack had a thought. “Do the Cakes need you to babysit at all this weekend?”
“Nope. Why?”
“I’d sure appreciate if you’d come to Manehattan with me,” said Applejack. “I ain’t prepared for this, but I know you are.”
Pinkie Pie didn’t even stop to think. She just spat out a dance mat and told Applejack to get her fancy on.
Thursday night in Manehattan was alive with ponies out and about working and playing indoors and outdoors. Pinkie Pie and Applejack were ready for their three day stay as they got off the train with their luggage and made their way to the theater. When they arrived, the owner was waiting for them at the entrance.
“Are you Applejack and Pinkie Pie?” she asked.
“Yep,” replied the Ponyvillians.
“I’m Star Biller. Nice to meet you,” the owner shook their hooves. “There’s a performance starting soon, so we gotta go in through the back. I’ll give you a tour of backstage. Does that sound cool?”
“Um, sure that’d be just fine and dandy,” replied Applejack.
Pinkie Pie nodded in agreement.
“And don’t talk loudly,” Star Biller added as she led them towards the back. “Keep your voices down while the shows on, K?”
“Okey-dokey-lokey,” responded Pinkie Pie in a hushed voice.
“She doesn’t seem so fancy-like,” Applejack whispered to Pinkie Pie.
“Who knows? Maybe she’s putting it on,” Pinkie Pie whispered back. “Maybe we don’t have to act classy the whole time we’re here.”
Despite Star Biller telling them that everything backstage had to be quiet, the first thing they heard when they entered the theater was a loud bang.
“What was that?!” hissed Star Biller, and she darted down the hall, Applejack and Pinkie Pie right behind her leaving their luggage behind.
“Land stakes,” said Applejack. “That’s that ventriloquist fella, Puppeteer.”
“Star Biller,” groaned the famous entertainer, “I lost my locker combo! I wrote it on a piece of paper! Please, help me find it!”
“Keep your voice down.” Star Biller looked horrified. “You can’t get your dummy out? The show should have started by now. What are we gonna do?”
Pinkie Pie’s face lit up. “We can stall the audience.”
“You can? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Come on, Puppeteer. Let’s find that combo.”
“You ready, Applejack?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“You bet,” replied Applejack with a confident grin.
The audience did not expect a vent act to open with a tap number at all, but they enjoyed Pinkie Pie and Applejack’s performance tremendously. Applejack was really glad Pinkie Pie had taught her how to tap dance. She really did find it fun, especially because they didn’t have to keep it up for more than five minutes.
“Pinkie Pie and Applejack, mares and stallions!” boomed Puppeteer’s voice as he emerged from behind the curtain, his wooden doll on his hoof.
The audience erupted with applause as Pinkie Pie and Applejack left the stage and returned to the back.
“I can’t thank you enough,” said Star Biller, as the sound of Puppeteer’s act came from the stage. “I usually have a backup plan in case there’s a delay, but I didn’t have one this time. Those posh ponies would have had my tail on a platter if you two hadn’t been here.”
Applejack couldn’t help but ask. “You ain’t a fancy gal, are ya?”
“Not really,” replied Star Biller. “I sure can fake it though. You wanna know how I ended up here?”
“Sure,” answered Pinkie Pie.
“Well, I was in a junior theater group in Trottingham, and we were given an opportunity to perform in this very theater,” said Star Biller. “Unfortunately, the tickets we sold had a misprint. Everypony showed up an hour early and we weren’t ready to start. And you don’t want to make a posh audience angry.”
Applejack shuddered, but Pinkie Pie was unphased.
“I volunteered to start the show while the rest of my group literally got their acts together,” Star Biller continued. “But my monologue was only ten minutes long, and that wasn’t enough. So I had to improvise the next twenty minutes.”
“Twenty minutes!” cried Pinkie Pie.
“Shh!” hissed Star Biller and Applejack.
Luckily, Puppeteer wasn’t disturbed.
“You know what really made my performance work in the end?” asked Star Biller. “As I walked off the stage, my cutie mark appeared.”
“Is that a skull?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yep. It means I have what it takes to make it in the cut-throat world of performing arts,” smiled Star Biller proudly. “I run this theater now, and whenever a show is delayed for whatever reason, I have to warm up the audience. It’s really cool to know that you two are just as brave as I am. If the show gets delayed on Saturday night, I’ll know who to turn to.”
Pinkie Pie glowed, but Applejack just nodded. Star Biller didn’t exactly have a no pressure approach.
It wasn’t very likely that Applejack and Pinkie Pie would have to go on that stage ever again though. Everyone performing at the benefit concert was already in town and they would be spending the whole of Saturday at the theater. Any difficulties could easily be sorted about by curtain time.
Applejack’s aunt and uncle had rented a room at the bakery for her and Pinkie Pie, so they would be spending their Friday there making practise snacks.
“You brought the jam right?” asked Pinkie Pie after preheating the oven.
“Sure did,” replied Applejack, pulling three jars of zap apple jam out her bag. “So what’s this fancy food you’ve been talking about?”
“It’s a kind of cake,” said Pinkie Pie, setting up a bowl.
“What kind? Chocolate? Strawberry?”
“Nope. Just plain cake,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “Watch.”
She measured the flour, the butter and the sugar, counted out the eggs, and mixed them in her bowl. Applejack was expecting her to add some sort of flavoured powder to the mix, but she didn’t. She just poured the mixture into two loaf tins and threw them in the oven.
“You ain’t got no lemons or raspberries or nothing to put in there?” asked Applejack.
“Don’t need any,” said Pinkie Pie. “You’ve got the jam, and I’ve got the buttercream.”
She pulled a yellow bottle out of her own bag.
“You’re a bit late, ain’t ya?” asked Applejack.
“You know how the kind of cake we’re used to has icing on it? We’re gonna ice these cakes with jam and buttercream.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “So basically, we’re making jam and buttercream sandwiches.”
“Yeah, I guess they are like that,” Pinkie Pie giggled.
It took all morning for Applejack to get used to these unusual baking methods, but when she did, she and Pinkie Pie got a little carried away in their practise baking. Aunt and Uncle Orange dropped in for a visit late that afternoon and they were astonished at how many cakes, tarts and trifles their niece and her friend had produced.
“Goodness me!” exclaimed Aunt Orange. “If Star Biller wasn’t providing your baking supplies for tomorrow, you could just feed the audience with these.”
“Mind you,” put in Uncle Orange, “I’m not certain they’d approve of this sort of jam.”
He examined one of the cakes with the zap apple jam and buttercream filling.
“Folks around here prefer strawberry or apricot jam in their cakes,” he finished.
“Not to worry, Mr and Mrs Orange,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “Star Biller’s got us covered.”
“Thank you both for recommending me,” said Applejack. “I’m really enjoying myself.”
“Wonderful to hear,” beamed Aunt Orange. “It looks like you haven’t forgotten what we taught you all those years ago.”
“We heard you two impressed a lot of punters yesterday evening,” said Uncle Orange.
“Well, that was mainly thanks to Pinkie Pie here,” said Applejack.
Pinkie Pie had chosen that moment to lick the tables clean.
Applejack chatted with her aunt and uncle for a little while longer while Pinkie Pie tossed all their used bowls and tins in the sink and shoved all their baked goods into a bag. Aunt Orange spotted her finding a butter tart on the floor and eating it. While Applejack and Uncle Orange were talking, she walked up to Pinkie Pie.
“You’re a member of Ponyville’s Royal Taskforce too, right?” she asked.
“Yep,” smiled Pinkie Pie.
“Oh.”
Aunt Orange said no more to Pinkie. She just went back to re-join the conversation with her niece. Then an unpleasant thought floated into Pinkie Pie’s head.
What if the Oranges only recommended Applejack for this benefit concert because she’s connected to royalty? she wondered.
Considering that Applejack had finally gotten into the spirit of class and sophistication, she thought it would be best not to say. After all, she didn’t know for sure. But her suspicions weren’t helped by the odd looks the Oranges gave her as they left the room. Applejack hadn’t noticed. She was in high spirits about the upcoming classy event.
“I’m awful glad you talked me into this, Pinkie Pie,” she said. “I never thought I could have fun with a bunch of fancy-shmancy city folk. There ain’t no doubt about it. You are the master of fun.”
“I told ya,” smiled Pinkie Pie. “It’s fun to keep up appearances sometimes.”
Having said that, she knew there was no need to voice her suspicions of the Oranges’ intentions. There was no reason either of them had to drop their classy demeanours before they left Manehattan, so why spoil Applejack’s good mood?