> A Blissful Planet
>  by VonArmen
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Act I: Imminent Danger ~ The Arrival Upon a New Planet
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Act I: Imminent Danger ~ The Arrival Upon a New Planet



Darkness. Devoid of color. Devoid of life. And here I stood, in the middle of it with no end in sight. Alone. Scanning through the darkness was a fruitless effort, considering the fact that I couldn’t see. I was surprised that this void even had a solid surface to stand on. I walked through this blackness by myself endlessly, searching for some light that would never come. Eventually I just gave up. What's the point? I thought to myself, It’s not like I’ll ever get out of this...

A loud, fairly low-pitched roar jolted my eyes open, causing me to sit up from the forest floor that lay beneath me. A dream, huh? Certainly an interesting one. My mind snapped back into the reality that I now perceived due to the creature’s roar not even a few minutes prior. I realized that I should probably stay away from any potential danger, considering I was defenseless. I had assumed that, since my body felt a bit lighter than I remembered, my sword probably wouldn’t be there. I quickly scanned the immediate surroundings for any possible hiding places. Fortunately, I found a bush large enough to hide my size (as long as I crouched, of course) and quickly utilized it as temporary shelter until I heard the roaring die down far off in the distance.

I got up from the bush, looking down at my cloak-covered body to see if anything attached itself to my attire, whether it be living or not. Noticing a bit of dust on my legs due to crouching in the bush, I proceeded to swipe it off with both hands until it had disappeared. A bit of a superficial mentality, but I figured if I at least tried to keep a good appearance people around here would be more likely to help me out. Speaking of the people around here, where am I? To this day I’m still not entirely sure why I talk to myself like that, or at all, actually. Probably comes from being alone for so long, I’d wager. Regardless, I’m not commenting on the right part here. I have absolutely no idea where I am right now. This forest doesn’t exactly look like other forests I’ve visited. For one, there aren’t monsters that make that kind of roar from what I’ve experienced, or even heard. Debating as to where I was for a while, I finally decided, Might as well just wander around until I find something. In the best interests of my safety, to travel in the opposite direction as the creature that was making those roaring noises was probably the best idea. From the direction that the sun was setting in, I could tell I was heading west.

I kept walking until it became dark; so dark, in fact, that I could barely see. Who the fuck am I, George Orr? Deciding it best that I stop for the night, I gathered some excess twigs and branches that fell from the trees, along with rocks to keep the soon-to-be fire contained. I found two thicker sticks and managed (after many tries) to get a spark produced from them. Seeing as I had a fire going, the night wouldn’t be as cold to sleep in. On top of that, if anything like the creature I heard earlier showed up, I’d at least have some sort of defense against it. Letting myself drift to sleep, I had the same dream as the previous night. Again. Remind me to change any recurring nightmare I have to something at least moderately positive next time, subconscious.

I awoke to the sun’s rise behind me, its light looming over my darkly cloaked body. Wiping the dirt off my cloak again, I put out the remnants of the fire from last night and spread out the materials. I even buried the charred wood. For some reason, probably out of paranoia, I didn’t want to let anyone get on my trail, lest I lead some criminal or another of those monsters to some unsuspecting victim.

After accomplishing the deed, I set out westward again, expecting another long walk with still no destination in sight. Surprisingly, however, after traveling for roughly two hours, (from what I could tell from the sun’s position, of course) I came across a trail that looked like it had been used before. There were hoof-prints (albeit not many) leading on the trail that pointed northwest, from how they looked. Seeing this as a good sign of civilization, I followed this trail in the hopes that I could find someone who could tell me where I was, and hopefully how to get back.

My journey this day only took about three hours total until I found some instance of anything civilized. It was a cottage near the edge of the forest with animals running about its borders. Unusual amount of animals, I thought, Either no one lives here anymore or there is someone and he or she is just some sort of farmer. Or a freak, I’m not sure which one yet. Then again, I have no right to judge someone else for being a freak.

In the end, I chose not to take any unnecessary risks of any kind and continued walking along the trail, figuring that since there were still hoof-prints leading in that direction, (more so than the ones leading to that animal-infested cottage) there would most likely be a more civilized area. I didn’t walk long at all until I found the first of the populace of this town.

Looking down, I find myself staring at a rather colorful looking member of the equine species. Barely being able to recognize it as a pony, I figured the citizens of this town performed genetic experiments on horses to get them the way the citizens wanted them to look. That is, of course, until it opened its mouth and now started speaking to me in English.

“What the hay are you?” the light blue-colored pony interrogated, rather boldly, I might add.

“Er…” I faltered, being taken aback by what I just heard. Actually, it wasn’t so much what I heard more than it was where I heard it coming from. That, and I had just noticed the wings protruding from the pony’s sides.

Managing to finally get some words out, I replied, (completely off topic from what this pony just asked) “You… can talk?”

“Duh! Of course I can talk! Why wouldn’t I? You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Well, it’s just a little surprising to see that a pony can talk,” I said, stammering slightly, “and as for your first question, I am a human. One that has been traveling in that forest,” I pointed behind me, “for two days now.”

“A… hu-man?” the pony asked, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a hu-man before.”

Noticing something particularly wrong with her reaction, I responded, “Wait. If you haven’t heard of my species before, then why were you so nonchalant upon first seeing me? Don’t I frighten you in the least?”

After thinking a bit, the pony replied, “Not really. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean that you’re terrifying. Besides, if I didn’t start this little chat with you then I never would have known that you could talk.”

Alright, that settles it, I thought, I’m definitely not on my planet. “Perhaps it’s best,” I said, finally, “if you take me to whoever’s in charge? If I’m the first of my kind to be here, then I’d doubt it’d be a good idea to just waltz into the nearest town and cause a panic.”

“If you say so,” she stated, walking in the same direction I had been walking in for the past three hours. “Just so you know, the pony in charge here is the Mayor, and she can get spooked pretty easily.”

“That’s your highest in command here; a Mayor?”

“Oh, no, not the highest. That would be Princess Celestia, but she’s not in Ponyville. Not yet, anyway.”

“A princess? So your government is that of a monarchy, I take it?”

She faltered, as I did earlier, apparently not knowing what to say, “A… what?”

Yikes, I thought, either she didn’t learn anything when she went to school, or this ‘Princess Celestia’s educational system is so poor you’d probably be better off learning things from the street. “Forget it,” I replied, not wanting to get into a long, overly drawn-out, lecture-like conversation about the do’s and don’ts of politics and government. I’ll just get that information out of this Princess herself.

Much to my surprise, she dropped the conversation without any questions. She’s either not interested enough to care about the subject, or just incredibly obedient. “So,” she said, “You were travelling in the Everfree Forest?” …Or just looking for an excuse to change the topic.

I gave a curt nod, one that could be noticed despite the fact that I had the hood of my cloak over my face. Clearly, I had my hood lowered just enough so that I could see, otherwise I never would have made it to where I am now, but I digress.

Apparently this topic was one that heavily intrigued her, seeing as she pressed me for more information, “Well, how was it? Not many ponies make a trip as long as you have and live to tell the tale.”

“Wasn’t too hard,” I responded, “Didn’t run in to too many dangers. Actually, I only really got into danger once, right after I woke up, as a matter of fact. Guess fate really likes me here, considering what you just told me.”

Curious, she asked, “What was this danger?”

“Not sure. I heard roaring as I was sleeping, which caused me to wake up. Figured it’d be a good idea to go the opposite way as the roaring considering I don’t have my-” I put my hand on my right hip only to find that my sword really had been there the whole time. “Eh, never mind.” I insulted myself in my head, You’re a real idiot, you know that?

Any curiosity she had, from what I could tell, turned into confusion as the little light blue-colored pony looked at me placing a hand near my hip and grip my sword’s sheath. Why I didn’t check for my sword the first day I was here is beyond me. Regardless, after I was finished mentally abusing myself, I let the matter go, seeing as we were nearing the entrance to the town. It dawned on me that I had not yet gotten the female pony’s name.

“I just realized something,” I said, “I don’t think I got your name.”

“Oh, right!” she said, not having noticed that point before, either, “Name’s Rainbow Dash; you?”

The urge to give a humorous name and laugh about it later is very high right now, I thought. I decided against it, however, considering how open she was to me right from the start. “To be truthful, I… don’t think I have one…”

“Don’t have a name?!” she exclaimed, disbelievingly, “Everyone has a name!”

“I suppose I’m the only one, then,” I replied with a solemn tone to my voice.

“I have to call you something! Hmm…” Rainbow thought a while before continuing, “How about ‘Hurricane’?”

“Heh,” I chuckled, remembering a nickname fairly similar that was given to a certain doctor, “It’s no 'Oncoming Storm,' but it'll do. Sure, why not?” Hurricane it is, then.

“Sweet!” she said, “Let’s go, then!”

Don’t see the harm in following her if everyone acts like this, I surmised. With any luck I’ll finally have a place to fit in for once in my life. Well, relatively speaking, of course. 

> Act II: Finding a Job ~ Prelude to Conflict
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Act II: Finding a Job ~ Prelude to Conflict



Walking through the town gave me many an uncomfortable feeling due to all the staring towards my direction, as I expected. Figures that the one thing I suggest to myself not to do and I do it anyway. What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, back to the topic at hand, their reactions were only what I believed to be natural sentient behavior: be afraid of anything you don’t know. This would have caused me to doubt my original hypothesis that I was on another planet, had it not been for the fact that the ponies’ mental processes seemed just as complex as that of a human’s mental processing. No way could research have progressed that far without me knowing about it. I chuckled a bit in response to my sentient being hypothesis while walking over to this town’s (Ponyville, if I recall correctly from reading the sign on the outskirts of town) Town Hall, to which Rainbow responded with a confused look as she walked next to me. It was amusing to me to think that this, of all things, would be a universal constant; fear of the unknown, I mean. I didn’t explain this to Rainbow, though. I doubt she’d understand the concept at all.

Opening the door to Town Hall found Rainbow and I in a relatively large structure resembling architectural designs from the human world. Of course, by “relatively large” I mean by pony standards, which means that this room was only around fifteen to twenty feet tall. Still enough room, just really small compared the town halls I was used to. As for the human part, I honesty had no idea where the ponies got their ideas for architectural designs, but I found it eerie to think that this town hall was so hauntingly familiar to human design.

I stood around in the middle of the entrance room to look around at the way the building was designed and how it was structured. Unfortunately, from the feel of it, (as I had tapped one of the support beams with the back of my hand) this place was not Earthquake resistant as the Japanese had made their buildings, for from the sound of the material I could tell that the metal used in the support beam was heavy, probably something like multilayered silver. This could be a bad thing dependent upon where this town’s located on the continent, I figured. Then again, the place isn’t that tall. I suppose, even if there was an Earthquake, it probably wouldn’t do too much damage. Looking up, I noticed a slight color change in the paint used on the roof, which suggested that this place had recently gone through repairs of some sort. Based on where the damage is, I thought, I doubt that an Earthquake would be the likely cause of this building’s partial destruction. If anything, I’d say that it was man- or in this case pony- made. Oh, why not? I’ll bite.

“Hey, Rainbow.  Did this place go through repairs, recently?” I asked, pointing to the oddly colored paint. The initial response I got was that of an annoyed groan, one that prolonged for several seconds before she responded.

“Yeah,” she said, putting her face in her now-raised right forehoof, “Derpy…”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“Don’t bother. The less you’re around her, the less damage she’ll cause around you.”

I’ll have to see this “Derpy” later, the- Wait, wouldn’t that mean that she’s just going to cause damage no matter where she is? Why should it make a difference whether I’m around her or not? Unfortunately, this conversation came to an end before I got the chance to ask another question, as the Mayor had stepped out of her office after Rainbow had walked over and knocked on her door.

“Ah, hello, Rainbow Da…” the Mayor trailed off after looking first at Rainbow, and then at me.  “And what would this be?”

I stepped in before Rainbow could get a word, “My current name is ‘Hurricane’. I was hoping to get a word with you regarding my current situation.” I surprised myself by doing this. Normally I was rather reclusive and didn’t talk much to strangers, especially after what happened on my planet, but here I am taking control of the situation. It was probably because of the fact that I realized I needed some form of income or another if I was going to be here a while.

“It- it talks?” she asked, clearly taken aback. Sentient beings are so predictable sometimes.

“Yes, I talk. I was hoping to get a word. Do you mind?”

“Er… Of course… Step right this way.” The Mayor motioned for me to step into her office with her; rather halfheartedly, I might add. I chuckled to myself, Perhaps it was the sword…?

Stepping into her office provided a similar sight as the entrance room to this Town Hall. Similar structure, same design; the only differences I could spot were the size and the personal touches she added in to make the room suit her more. Notably pictures of what I thought to be her family (or at least the people she was closest to) on her desk. There were a number of chairs about her customized desk, to which she motioned towards, suggesting that I take a seat in one of them. I, of course, took up this offer, as I was not going to stand the whole time we discussed things considering how long I had been travelling in that forest. Walking two days straight with barely any breaks was starting to take its toll on me.

I sat in the chair nearest me, while she took the one directly in front of her work station. The Mayor started to rummage in her belongings inside the now-opened desk, trying to stall for time so that she wouldn’t have to talk to me much. Clearly intimidated, I figured, no doubt because she doesn’t know me… or what I am, exactly.

“You needn’t be frightened of me, Mayor. I don’t pose a threat to you. Well, intentionally, anyway.”

She gave a nervous laugh, probably due to the statement I added at the end, (note to self: refrain from saying things that don’t help my case) and replied, “Right. Well, you wanted to see me to- what did you say? ‘Discuss your situation,’ was it?”

“That would be correct. Since I am obviously new here, I don’t have a place to live, nor do I have a form of income. I figure I can find a place to live myself, but I doubt the rest of your townsfolk would be so trusting of me to just give a stranger who just walked into town a job. Especially considering this stranger isn’t exactly one of your species.”

“So you thought you’d come to me to see if I have any job openings of any kind?”

Ha! She’s quick to pick up on things; then again, I suppose she’d have to be, otherwise she wouldn’t be that great a mayor, now would she? “You catch on quick. Yes, I was hoping to get some kind, any kind of job opening. I am fairly versatile in what I can do.”

“That so? Actually, there has been this Chimera running around the Everfree Forest ever since Cerberus abandoned his post a few weeks back. It’s been preying on anypony that goes too deep into the forest-”

“And you want me to get rid of it?”

“That would be the idea. I would prefer if you didn’t kill it and just sent it back to the Gates of Tartarus, but do whatever you can.”

“Tartarus exists here?” Okay, animals like Cerberus and the Chimera I can suspend belief enough to play along with, but seriously? The Gates of Tartarus? THE Gates of Tartarus? The very same Gates that house the most vicious of creatures AND Hades himself? You’ve got to be fu-

“Of course it does. From the way you make it sound, it’s like you’re from another plan…” she trailed off after realizing exactly what I was to the rest of the populace here. “You’re an alien, aren’t you…?”

I smiled (which she unfortunately couldn’t see due to my hood being over my head) and said, “Close enough, I think.” A pause occurred, mostly due to her being even more suspicious of me now that I confirmed her question. “Why?” I asked, becoming a bit more serious, “Is that a problem for you now? It wasn’t two minutes ago before I told you that.”

“Well, I-”

“On second thought, don’t answer that question. I’ll just have to prove myself by taking down this Chimera of yours. Dead or alive, if I recall that correctly?” She simply nodded her response.

“Consider it done, however I have no idea where the Gates are, exactly. Mind giving me directions?” I asked.

Instead of answering my question, she merely took out a piece of parchment from one of the drawers in her desk (out of which I still can’t figure out how she opened it with hooves) and gave it to me. “Here,” she said, “I think it’ll just be easier to give you a map rather than me trying to give you directions.”

Thanking her, I slipped the parchment into my cloak’s inner pocket and walked out of the Mayor’s office, only to find Rainbow waiting for me. Apparently she had been listening in on the conversation, for she had a rather skeptical look on her face that was directed towards me as I was walking out.

“You’re an ALIEN?” she asked incredulously.

“If my hypothesis is correct,” I responded, “Then yes and no, but for the sake of convenience you can call me an alien.”

“Huh?”

“To put it simply, I believe I’ve somehow managed to travel dimensions to your Earth, but since I’m from an Earth, I’m not an alien in the sense that you are referring to,” I chuckled, “I guess you can just call me ‘Doctor,’ then.”

She rubbed the side of her head with the bottom of her hoof, trying to make sense of what I just said, I figure. “You should really talk to Twilight if you want to discuss egghead things.”

I laughed. I actually laughed. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good laugh. “Well, I doubt any of your species would get the last comment I made. As for the first, I don’t think I can describe it any clearer than that, sorry.”

“Anyway,” she said, changing the subject, “You’re going to fight the Chimera? THE Chimera? You can’t seriously be doing that alone!”

“Is that worry I hear in your voice?” I questioned, teasingly. “I doubt it’s going to be as hard as you make it sound. Besides, if worse comes to worst I have a trick up my sleeve for fighting the Chimera. Don’t think I’ll need help.”

“You sure you don’t want backup? I could talk to my friends and we could help you fight him!”

“Her, first of all. Second, I suppose if one of your friends has a massive block of lead they’d be willing to spare, then I’ll gladly use the help.”

“Okay, that is, by far, the strangest thing I’ve heard you say yet.”

“Ah, good, I’m becoming more like the Doctor every minute.”

Rainbow gave out a groan of frustration, mostly due to my incredibly ambiguous statements that seemed, to her, to be irrelevant. Granted, the one about the lead with the Chimera was going out on an assumption based on literature from my Earth, so it could be irrelevant for all I know. Regardless, she didn’t understand any of it, which only further heightened her irritation with me.

“Look,” she said, more annoyed than I’ve heard her, “Let’s just go talk to my friends and we’ll help out with your hunt.”

I sighed, “If it’ll put your mind at ease, then I don’t see why not. That is, of course, assuming your friends even want to help a dimension-hopping stranger from an alternate Earth. Why is my life suddenly starting to sound like a Doctor Who episode?”

“I give up!” she exclaimed after another groan.

Rainbow is quite the card, I thought, smiling. Looking at her, I noticed she had a fairly slim physique, with a rather aerodynamically designed body. That’s most likely due to the fact that she can fly, considering she has wings. Her posture, as I just started to notice, is very triumphant, like that of a lion or an overzealous human, despite the fact that she’s lowered her head in frustration, of course. It seems as though she’s filled with pride, and I’m not quite sure whether to take that as a good sign or a bad one.

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As the two of us walked around town to introduce me to her friends, I got many a strange look from the other ponies that passed us by. Again. Can’t really say I’m surprised about that. Thinking I was troubled by it, Rainbow told me not to worry and said that the first of her friends she was going to introduce me to and ask for help (out of which I still don’t think I need) was called “Twilight Sparkle.” Certainly interesting name choices these ponies’ parents had.

Upon our arrival to Twilight Sparkle’s, the house was, from appearance, a massive tree. From the looks of it, it had a lightning rod to it, I take it so that this house wouldn’t burn down or completely split in half during the middle of a lightning storm. Wait, if Twilight has a lightning rod, wouldn’t that mean that harvesting electricity was possible during a lightning storm? Perhaps these ponies managed to discover the usage of electricity? That would certainly make my life easier.

Rainbow, instead of knocking on the door to get her friend outside, just barged straight into the tree-like house. I stood, utterly shocked at the fact that she just did that, until Rainbow poked her head back outside and motioned with one of her front hooves to follow her in. Reluctantly, I followed her, deciding to trust her judgment. Perhaps this was normal by this town’s culture?

Upon our entering of the house, I noticed an array of books, far more than anyone from my world ever had in their home, even me. And here I thought I was the weird, intelligent one… Regardless, after further inspection, I noticed stairs leading up somewhere near the left side of Twilight’s house and to the right was an entrance of what appeared to be a kitchen.

Rainbow flew up the stairs to look for her friend, leaving me down on the ground floor to explore a bit more. I first started checking the many bookshelves that lined the walls, hoping to find some answers to the questions I had about this place. Glancing through, I noticed that some of the books were printed in a different language other than English, one that I could not distinctly make out. I guess they have their own language, but… Why do they speak English and not their own language?

I didn’t get a chance to look through any of the books, aside from getting a quick glance, however, as Rainbow flew back down from upstairs. “Guess Twilight isn’t here,” she said, matter-of-factly. “We might as well just head over to Appleja-” she got cut off as the door swung open, only to reveal a lavender-colored unicorn with a purple mane with a pink stripe towards the middle of it. What is with the colors on these ponies? First Rainbow having a blue coat and a rainbow colored mane, and now this? At least the Mayor had fairly common colors in her coat and mane; well, at least from what I’m used to, anyway.

Walking through the door, the lavender unicorn greeted Rainbow. “Oh! Hey, Rainbow Dash. What are you-” she said, slowly glancing over to me. At this point I started counting in my head, 3… 2… 1…

“Gah!” she shouted, obviously frightened. Okay, the first time was kind of funny due to being completely predictable, but now this is just getting ridiculous. She immediately jolted back outside and slammed the door, to which it opened again only to show a small reptile-looking creature standing on his hind legs as I was. It had purple scales and green, almost fin-like spines running down from its head all the way to its tail. Is this… A dragon?

“I take it this is a Ponyville tradition to run away from visitors?” I asked openly, getting annoyed.

To my surprise, the reptile replied to my question, “You too, huh?” I stayed silent for a short bit to comprehend what just happened. This reptile, male from the sound of it, not only spoke to me, but AGREED with me. Now I’ve seen everything.

“What do you mean?” I asked, curious as to what he had to say.

“Oh, well the ponies of the town did the same thing to a zebra named Zecora. She would walk into town to try and find ingredients for her potions, but all the other ponies were afraid of her. I guess the same thing happening to you would only be expected, but I didn’t think it’d be from Twilight…” he explained, sounding a little disappointed after he said the last part. So that was Twilight, huh? I doubt that unicorn would be much help in a fight if it’s just going to run away from things that scare it off. Or, at the very least, run away from things that it doesn’t know about.

“Right…” I replied, unsure as to what to make of the situation. “Well, I suppose we should move on, then, Rainbow, apparently your friend doesn’t want to…” I trailed off after noticing Rainbow had left. Well, that’s just great. I sighed, Now I’m stuck in some meek unicorn’s house without anyone I know. Maybe I’m better off just doing this hunt by myself like I thought, especially if all of her friends are going to act like this.

“Hey, uh, I don’t think we introduced ourselves, yet,” the reptile said, trying to strike up a conversation. “I’m Spike! You are…?”

“Hurricane, apparently,” I replied. “Just out of curiosity, are you a dragon, perchance?”

“You bet!” Spike exclaimed enthusiastically. “This is probably rude, and I don’t want you to take it this way, but what are you?”

“A human. From an alternate universe, as well, if my hypothesis is correct.”

“Dude. That’s creepy.”

I raised an eyebrow at this, to which I responded, “Which part? The ‘me being a human’ part or the ‘I’m from an alternate universe’ part?”

“The second one, obviously. Why? Did you think that I’d think that you being a human was creepy? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of a minority here, too.”

I stammered, awestruck that someone like this even made this much sense here. “I… I just figured that everyone else has been doing it so far, what’s to stop the people who haven’t yet? I apologize, Spike, I didn’t mean to stereotype.”

“Stere- what?” Spike asked, “What’s that mean?”

I chuckled in response to this. Oh, the irony. Not only am I doing the exact same thing these ponies are doing, but they apparently don’t even know what it means. “I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.” It’s probably best you don’t know, I added in my head.

“If you say so. Well, anyway, I should probably get to my chores around here, even if Twilight left. I know I’ll get a lecture if they aren’t done soon.”

I take it that’s my cue to leave, I thought, walking to the door. Before I got the chance to open said door, however, it burst open, staggering me back a few feet. It was apparently Rainbow’s kick that opened the door, for she was dragging Twilight back by the tail with her mouth. So that’s where she went.

Rainbow was the first to speak in response, spitting out Twilight's tail and sounding about as annoyed as when she was confused before, “Twilight, this is Hurricane. He’s new here and I wanted to introduce him.”

I simply nodded my head to Twilight in response, to which I got nervous shuffling from this unicorn, as Twilight was getting back up from Rainbow’s dragging. I suppose I’ll actually need to strike up a conversation this time.

“So, you’re Twilight? I’ve heard a decent bit about you from Rainbow.” I merely got a nod in response. “… Okay, this conversation’s getting nowhere. I think I’ll just go take care of the Chimera, now, as that seems a lot easier to deal with than talking to people.”

I started walking toward the door again, only to be interrupted, not by Rainbow, but by Twilight, to which I heard “Wait!” So Twilight’s a girl, huh? Probably should have figured as much.

“Why are you getting rid of the Chimera? I just got a letter from the Princess telling me to take care of it. Are you under orders from the Princess?”

“So you can talk,” I replied, irritation showing in my voice. “To answer your questions in order, because your mayor asked me to, and no, I don’t even know who your Princess is yet. Well, personally, anyway.”

She gave a nervous laugh, most likely due to the first statement I gave, and then said, “Sorry about the spectacle earlier. I panicked after seeing you and didn’t know what else to do.”

“You’re not very good at lying, Twilight Sparkle,” I said back, “For you did know what to do in response to seeing me, and that would be running away from me as far as you could get, to which you needed Rainbow to drag you all the way back here so that we could even have this conversation in the first place. Had it not been for that, we wouldn’t be discussing this.”

Her eyes flashed a look of guilt and she hung her head down, looking towards the ground. Perhaps that was a bit harsh? Despite thinking this I still didn’t apologize. I was right, after all, and you know what they say: the truth hurts.

A silence lingered on between the three of us in Twilight’s house for what seemed like an hour, (even though it was probably only about ninety seconds) Rainbow giving a look of worry to her friend, then looking back at me with a fury in her eyes I had not yet seen. “What the hay is wrong with you?!” she shouted.

I kept level-headed, as I always try to do in every situation, and responded, “If you’re referring to the comment, it is not my fault your friend takes offense to that. I was merely stating the truth, no matter how much she didn’t want to hear it.”

“You’re heartless, you know that?” she asked rhetorically, anger still raising her voice. These words… struck a hefty blow on me, psychologically. She’s right, of course; in some people’s eyes I am a heartless, cruel individual who couldn’t care less about others. I thought I had learned to deal with that by now, but I guess I never really got over people saying that one. It may be trivial, but honestly I just can’t take everyone treating me as though I’m some sort of monster. Ten years is far too long for me to be dealing with that from my own species, it’s even worse now that I have another doing it.

“Yes…” I said, quietly, after a short silence, “I suppose I am.”

“Rainbow, stop!” Twilight suddenly found her courage after realizing that we got into an argument over this. “Don’t start an argument about this because of me. He’s right, it was my fault.”

I spoke up at this, “No, Rainbow’s statement is true. You may have been the one to run away from me, Twilight Sparkle, but I was the one who retaliated by saying what I did. If anything, I am just as much at fault here as you are. For what it’s worth, I apologize.” I knew this apology seemed hollow, and to be quite blunt I didn’t expect her to forgive me in the slightest after I gave it… which is why her reaction completely surprised me.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she replied, sincerely, “I was wrong, too. Friends?” Twilight extended her hoof in my direction, expecting me to shake it or something along those lines. I, however, was too awestruck at the fact that she was so easily willing to forgive me, despite my rather harsh attitude toward everyone I’ve met so far. Speaking of, I should probably go apologize to the Mayor for any inconvenience I may have caused her… Oops, I’ve strayed from the topic at hand, haven’t I? I’ll get back to what happened:

Instead of answering her, I merely extended my hand in return and shook her hoof, accepting her offer of friendship. Rainbow, in response to this, gave a sigh of relief that I had- what was the phrase she used? “Made up”? I suppose that’ll do- made up with Twilight.

“About time you two made up!” Rainbow said, relief prevalent in her voice. Twilight merely blushed at this, probably due to the fact that the phrase Rainbow used has the same connotation to it that my Earth has, as well. Because of that, I similarly looked away from Twilight, blushing slightly. It’s fortunate that I still had the cloak hood over my face, otherwise they definitely would have noticed. That is, of course, assuming at least Rainbow didn’t already notice that.

Regardless, I was the person to break the momentary silence caused by Rainbow’s comment, “Well, I truly do appreciate you introducing me, Rainbow, but I think enough time has passed since the Mayor gave me the Chimera assignment. If I want to hunt that thing down, then I need to get started as soon as possible. I don’t even know where that thing is in the forest, and if meeting all your friends (out of which I don’t know how many you even want to introduce to me) is going to take this long, then I think I’ll have to pass on the help entirely and the introduction thing. The last one being momentary, assuming the offer still stands.”

“You worry too much!” Rainbow said, cheerfully. “I’m sure we have plenty of time before-” Her statement was cut off, as a rather violent rumbling shook Twilight’s house and a familiar roar echoed through the streets of Ponyville. Same roar that I heard when I first woke up…!

Rainbow swallowed, clearly nervous at the impending danger that was approaching, “Me and my big mouth…”



> Act III: Chimera Conflict Resolved
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Act III: Chimera Conflict Resolved



Upon hearing this roar, we all rushed outside in the hopes of finding its source. In response, the creature made another ear-shattering cry and this time I believe I heard the sound of a loud crash. It probably stepped on a building. The Chimera is most definitely a large force to be reckoned with. I should be careful.

Twilight and Rainbow, to my surprise, were maintaining their composure in the situation and rushed off to where the sound was coming from almost immediately. Twilight started off with a run and then bounded into a sprint, while Rainbow took to the sky and flew upwards to get a view as to where the assumed Chimera was. They certainly don’t waste any time, do they?

Realizing that they would probably need help, I sprinted in the direction Twilight was headed (seeing as I couldn’t exactly fly with Rainbow) and managed to keep up a relatively stable pace behind her, despite the fact that she has an advantage with running on four hooves instead of two feet like me. Fortunately, I didn’t have to keep the pace for long, due to us making it to our intended destination: right in front of the Chimera.

It surprised me how strikingly similar it was to the way my species described it. A tail in the form of a serpent thrashing about, thumping the ground every so often; two heads, one of a goat, the other a lion, and claws about the size of a tire that would fit on a Semi. The coloring of its body was mixed, due to it being made up of at least four different animals (from what I can remember, at least); the body from its neck to rear end was a dark brownish color, while the serpent’s tail was a dull green. The goat’s head, on the other hand, was a pale gray, its horns a swirling black. The lion’s head was tan brown, its mane resembling a more maroon-like color, I think. The size (from approximation) that the Chimera stood was about 30 feet tall, a very intimidating size to ponies. Maybe not so intimidating for dragons, but then again, I haven’t exactly seen a full grown one here, yet, so it would be sort of impossible to get a size reference at this point, especially considering I was only assuming that dragons got up to the height I was thinking of.

Anyway, regardless of the size advantage, Rainbow and Twilight went rushing in toward the Chimera, eager to defend their now-under-siege town. By instinct, I reached for my sword, readying myself for a battle… But I hesitated. Hold on. If this world has ponies AND dragons that are self-aware, shouldn’t it mean that all the rest of the species are, as well? It may be a logical fallacy, but it’s at least worth a shot to try and get this thing to listen to reason. Avoiding this fight seems like a really good idea, right now…

“EVERYONE STOP!” I cried, desperate to get the attention of everyone involved in the fight. I couldn’t believe it. Not only did Rainbow and Twilight stop in their tracks, (in Rainbow’s case, stopped in midair) but even the Chimera ceased its destruction, even though the serpent-tail still kept thrashing about violently. Realizing this might be my only opportunity to reason with the Chimera, I jumped at the chance for a conversation with this thing. Metaphorically, of course.

“You are the Chimera, are you not?” I asked, hoping for a reply from the 30 foot tall beast. It merely nodded its lion head in response. I heard some indistinguishable murmuring from Rainbow up in the sky, to which Twilight responded by teleporting her down and covering her mouth. Momentarily distracted by this, I thought to myself, She probably realized the same thing I did when I got the chance to reason with this thing. But still, I wonder, how does she use teleportation like that? Most likely magic, considering she’s a unicorn, but I still want to ask later, anyway.

I shook my head a few times to clear my thoughts of distractions, looked back up at the Chimera, and continued, “I thought as much. Your reputation precedes you, even in my universe.” The Chimera’s serpent-tail slowed down to a much less violent pace as she cocked her goat head toward me, most likely inquiring what I meant. So she’s self-aware, but can’t communicate in languages? Unfortunate that I can’t actually have a full conversation with her, but I’ll take what I can get.

“Ah, yes, well, to put simply, I am from an alternate universe. My universe has managed to record stories of you and the rest of your family… Somehow… And let me just say, mere stories of your existence have spawned a great deal of scientific discoveries and advancements in our world. You are an inspiration.” …What? I figured it’d be a good idea to start with exaggerated flattery to try to calm her down. There was some merit to what I said, after all.

In response, the Chimera sat down, causing a bit of a rumble, and I think I heard a bit of purring coming from the lion head. “So, would you mind telling me why you’re all the way out here? This is a pretty long way from home, from what I hear,” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t offend her to the extent that she would just continue her rampage.

The Chimera unsheathed one of her claws and started scratching something into the ground for about thirty or forty seconds. I took this time to glance around the area, only to find a lot of the ponies residing in this town outside of their homes and staring at us anxiously, probably praying for nothing to go wrong that would cause the Chimera to start acting up again. After the quick scope of the area I took, I looked back at the Chimera, who was finishing up her drawing. Once done, she lifted her paw up only to reveal a rather crude, stick-figure like drawing of what I could make out to be a creature on four legs with three heads.

Recognizing the defining feature immediately, I asked, “You were looking for your brother after he left his post, weren’t you?”

She perked all three of her heads up almost simultaneously, to which they answered my question by nodding profusely.

“And I take it that some ponies obstructed your search, which would explain their… disappearances?”

The Chimera looked a lot less excited, and this time it was only the lion head that nodded response.

“Well, what’s done is done. There’s not really anything you can do about it now,” I said, to which she looked at me with what seemed like a look of relief on her faces. I continued, “Well, if all you want to do is see Cerberus again, perhaps I can help find him with you? I do have a map with me; it would be easy to cover ground with your speed and my directional skills.” All the ponies in town stared at me with a look of utter disbelief that I would even consider offering a helping hand- or in their case hoof- to the Chimera.

She looked at me with what seemed like sheer delight that I was offering help, getting very eager once more and started nodding all her heads again simultaneously. I walked towards her, getting ready to climb onto her back, until Twilight stepped forward and interrupted us.

“Hold on,” she said, “I don’t think that’s going to be necessary to travel all around Equestria.”

I made a confused face, which she couldn’t see, and asked, “Why would that be?”

“Because I already brought Cerberus back to Tartarus. It was almost right after he left his post, too.” She turned her head more toward the Chimera “You probably just missed us going to Tartarus. He should still be there, if he didn’t go out looking for you, anyway. I can help guide the way if you want.”

“Any help is appreciated, as far as I’m concerned,” I said back, “As long as it’s okay with you, of course.” The Chimera merely shrugged and her goat head nodded to us.

“Looks like we have a journey ahead of us!” I proclaimed a bit over-the-top. “Well, we might as well head out now, assuming that you don’t have anything you want to bring with you?” I questioned toward Twilight while starting my climb onto the Chimera.

“No,” she replied, “Tartarus isn’t too far away from here, and considering we have the Chimera to take us there, it should only take an hour or two at the kind of speed she has.”

So it’s only getting back in enough time we have to worry about, I pondered. “Well then, onwards to Tartarus! Allons-y!” I’ve been waiting to use that line.

“What does that mean?” she asked, skeptically.

“It’s French for ‘Let’s go!’” I replied, “Now come on, we don’t want to waste any time.” I reached down from my climb on the Chimera’s back and offered my hand to help her up. She extended her hoof, accepting my offer. I then grasped her appendage and tossed her up onto the Chimera’s back, Twilight giving an “oomph” as she landed. I followed suit, finished my climb up the back, and promptly sat down next to Twilight, still lying down from being previously tossed up the Chimera’s back.

Upon feeling this, the Chimera kicked her hind legs and started bounding westward out of town. Twilight, suddenly realizing something that I couldn’t make out at the time, called back behind us, “Rainbow! Tell Spike to take care of the Library while I’m gone!” She didn’t get a response; Rainbow merely turned back after seeing that we made it out of view.

“Do you think she heard me?” she asked.

I shrugged, “Probably. No way to tell until we get back.”

“I think you’re right.” After that, Twilight started barking orders at the Chimera, giving incredibly accurate directions, even better than what I could do with a map. I guess she’s gone through here more than once. Either that or she remembers a great number of details after only one experience. 

Our path took us fairly far, leading us through quite a number of places. The most notable of these places being a very large bridge that extended over a massive chasm, which Twilight told me was called “The Path to Friendship.” Apparently, the chasm that the bridge allowed crossing over divided two former nations that never really got along with one another, from what she hinted at, at least. At one point, they even started a war with each other revolving entirely around catapults and seeing how much damage they could do to the other side with said catapults. This reminded me very heavily of World War I, only instead of each side having trenches, there was just a massive one between the two. Thinking that there might be parallels between the wars, I decided to ask what started this, but she didn’t really give me an answer other than “They had their differences.” Realizing that asking for reasoning in this story was most likely futile, I dropped that category and instead asked what prompted the fighting to end. Twilight perked up at this question, and said that the ending of the war came when a stallion from the side closest to Ponyville (called Mustanium) and a mare from the other side (Geldria) fell in love. Upon seeing the close friendship between the lovers, the townsfolk realized the error of their ways and extended their hooves in alliance to one another. Thus, the bridge was constructed as a peace offering between Geldria and Mustanium. These towns and the bridge, however, were annexed into Equestria after word spread around that the bridge was complete. Apparently the bridge was such an appealing addition that it was worth annexing two small countries over it. I figure it must have been for transportation-based reasons, but Twilight never really gave me any more details regarding the matter. Furthermore, pegasi can fly, and unicorns (from what I’ve seen, at least) can teleport, so transportation wouldn’t have really been an issue unless a normal pony wanted to cross. Very strange, that situation, but I digress. Since that point, ponies slowly started to leave the towns year by year until, eventually, Geldria and Mustanium became ghost towns. Well, that was a happy ending by my standards; then again, I do set my standards low for such things.

From Twilight’s brief history trivia, the bridge’s completion only took about four or five years. Surprising, considering it was approximately half a mile in length… and built by ponies. Still don’t know how this species managed to construct anything without the usage of hands, though. I suppose magic is a fairly plausible explanation, seeing as it exists in this world, but it still bothers me a bit to just conclude “magic did it” without any other explanation. I guess I’m still just too used to my world.

That quick tangent aside, the other places we came across weren’t really too noteworthy; just a quick patch of forest, (which didn’t even have a name) and the remnants of Geldria and Mustanium on the opposite sides of the bridge. Other than that, it was mostly just plains between mountain ranges, stretching a decent three miles at least. After having traversed these plains, we came across a massive opening in the mountain, signifying the halfway point of our journey.

We descended from the Chimera’s back upon our arrival, to which the Chimera let out a loud roar directed at the entrance. Another loud roar echoed in response from inside the cave, signaling its acknowledgment of the Chimera. The owner of the second roar stepped out of the cave and revealed his appearance to be none other than the whole reason the Chimera left in the first place: Cerberus.

The Chimera dashed toward Cerberus and nearly knocked him over, nuzzling him with all three of her heads. Cerberus responded by nuzzling back, the two of them sharing a… Heartwarming moment, I suppose. Rather disturbing, if you ask me. I’m not quite sure what it was, but something about that scene just didn’t seem right. Maybe it was the Chimera being quite larger than Cerberus in height? I wonder… Well, regardless, they finished having their moment and the Chimera turned back towards us. She then started scratching something that I couldn’t quite make out into the ground, which took about as long as when she drew that crude drawing of her brother back in town a few hours ago.

She moved her paw away to reveal another crude drawing, this time of a four-legged figure with a horn (which I assumed to be Twilight) and a larger, two-legged figure with its face scratched out (me, I would assume) with a heart in between them. Twilight smiled at this, thanking the Chimera kindly for the drawing. I, on the other hand, merely nodded my thanks, promptly turned away from the cave, and walked away from the siblings.

Twilight apparently hadn’t noticed my curt leave and called to me while running, “Hey! Wait up!”

“What’s the rush?”

“Look at the sun,” I replied, pointing to the sky. She craned her head upward only to find that the sun was nowhere in sight.

“Uh… Where?”

“Exactly. Day is already at an end, and if we don’t find a campsite soon, then I doubt we’ll make it through the night.”

Twilight gave a confused glance, “You really think that we could die here?”

“It’s a possibility I'd rather avoid. Now, let’s hurry and find a suitable campsite to avoid that.”

She nodded and helped me look for a campsite as we wandered in the direction of the bridge we crossed not even a few hours prior to that conversation. Looking around was, fortunately enough, a fruitful effort as we found a clearing near the path we traveled that was secluded enough to both allow us to build a campfire and not set the area ablaze, and provide us a decent bit of protection against the possibility of invaders, considering that the trees that surrounded the clearing were rather thick. Another bonus was that it didn’t take very long at all to find it along the path (I had estimated somewhere around 10-15 minutes, at least).

“Seems like a perfect spot to set up camp,” I stated aloud, “Would you mind finding some loose branches lying about the area? We’ll need them to start a fire.”

“Isn’t it a bad idea to start a fire in the middle of a forest? I may not be an expert on wildlife, but that’s pretty dangerous, don’t you think? Not to mention the fact that even if you're worried about something coming for us in the middle of the night, won't the fire be a big giveaway that we're here?”

Initially, I found this question to be rather… Misinformed? That sounds about right. Despite this, however, I decided to humor her and, instead of responding with a snappy comeback, I gave a factual response. “Firstly, this is the middle of the night. For predators to hunt here, they would need to have some form of night vision, which is greatly interfered with by light, which fire provides. The only thing a fire should mean to the wildlife here is to stay away. Had we been dealing with bandits of some form, I would have agreed with you, but since that shouldn't be the case, especially since word that the Chimera has been returned to Tartarus definitely hasn't gotten out yet,  we don't have to worry about that. Second, we won't cause a forest fire if we line up a makeshift fire pit made of rocks. Basically all we do is surround the initial point of the fire with rocks, and the ashes and sparks of the burning fire won't spread around to the other trees as long as we keep the fire down. Simple enough, right?"

Twilight looked at me with a hint of wonder, "You know a lot about wilderness survival, especially considering you don't even know the area. I still don't agree with the fire, though. Cerberus does a fantastic job of guarding Tartarus, nothing is going to get in or out of there with him guarding the gates. Also, we really don't need it for this temperature, anyway."

I scoffed, "Says the pony living with a fur coat. I know I'm not exactly the best example to say this, considering I wear clothing that covers my entire body, but humans don't have fur coats. At most we have little hairs growing across our body and our hair."

"Really?" she questioned, "How does your species survive in the winter, then?"

"You're looking at it," I replied, pulling at my cloak, "We just wear heavier, insulated clothing during the colder seasons. Well, where I'm from it stays at a pretty moderated temperature, due to being so close to the ocean, so it never really gets that cold, but everywhere else that has seasons that actually change, that's what my species does."

"Why would you not prepare for the possibility of colder weather when you came here?"

Does she think I meant to come here? “You... know I didn’t intend to get flung here, right?”

“So then your coming here was accidental?”

That was a bit of an obvious question, but whatever. “That’s right. Honestly, I’m not sure how I got here, exactly, but I do have a couple of pretty good ideas.”

“Those are..?” And here I thought I was the only one who prompted a response from someone like that.

“Well, if what’s theorized in physics actually works, then my first guess would be that a random wormhole appeared close enough to me and for just long enough to suck me into an alternate universe. In other words, something triggered a momentary rift in the space/time continuum of our universes and flung me here.”

“Hmmm…” She thought for a bit, before nodding her head in agreement, “That does sound plausible, but you said ‘ideas.’ Plural. I take it you have another?”

I’m liking her more and more as this conversation passes. “Yeah, just one other idea for the moment. Since magic exists in this world, I would think it would be possible for someone to cast a spell to pull me here, whether it be intentional or not. Is something like that possible as of yet?”

“Not that I know of. If something like that was intentional, then whoever developed it would have taken credit for something like that by now, especially with what you did to help out Ponyville. I doubt you’ll get many reactions like mine by the time we get back.” Twilight looked down away from me after saying this, as if out of guilt.

I, on the other hand, just laughed at this, “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you, Twilight. Honestly, had I been in that situation in place of you, I probably would have done the same thing.”

She looked back up to me, “You… Really?”

“Yeah, probably. I mean, if I were you and came home to find a massive biped that’s at least twice my size with dark-colored attire, a sword, and was conversing with one of my best friends, momentary panicking would definitely be my first thought.”

“What would the second be?”

I chuckled, “Probably fighting it. If anything, your reaction was a lot better than mine would have been had I been in that situation. Sorry for what I said back there, by the way.”

She tilted her head a bit and gave a puzzled look. Apparently she forgot. “Y-you know, the one about you knowing what to do in that situation?”

“Oh, that one! Hey, don’t worry about it. We all say things we’re not proud of.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” I said with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. “Well, before we forget, we might as well go get the things for the fire.”

Twilight became sterner here, “We’re not starting a fire.”

“You’re really not letting up on that one, are you?”

She stared at me with a deadpan expression.

I gave in. “Oh, fine. But if I die from wild animal mauling, you’re the first one I’m blaming.”

Twilight giggled, “Oh, please. If anything you might just be able to reason with it like you did the Chimera. Besides, it definitely won’t get that bad, I promise.”

“Just because you promise something doesn’t make it true, you know.”

“Oh, stop being morbid.”

I laughed, “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”



> Act IV: The Long Trek Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Act IV: The Long Trek Home



The next morning, which I was surprised to find me actually waking up to, brought us ever closer to the end of our journey. That is, not before our very long conversation while walking back, at the very least. To save whoever may be reading this a great deal of time, I’ll only be writing down the things I found to be most important regarding this universe’s reality. Namely, a couple of things Twilight mentioned about their country’s governmental system and a couple of odd social quirks I noticed. Some might call what I’m about to do censorship, but I like to think of it as blissful convenience. Blissful referring to that old saying from my universe, at least.

After I woke up, I saw Twilight had already been up and about, gathering all that she could find of nuts, fruits, and plants for us to eat that morning. Personally, I had managed to get nutrients the same way, but some of the plants and fruits look differently in this universe than it does on mine. I had to do a bit of testing on some of them only to find out that most of them were close to the same thing. Some of them, on the other hand, were a total mystery to me. For example, I found a five-leaved, star-shaped plant that was colored like a rainbow. Very strange, that was; even stranger was the fact that it tasted a bit like a mixture between pop rocks and a jalapeño. No wonder I didn’t have a dream the night before.

Anyway, Twilight, taking a glance at me from scurrying about for supplies, stopped what she was doing, stared at me with a very serious expression, and told me one thing: “You’re a ghost.”

Seeing as I had just woken up, I was a bit drowsy, so it took me a couple seconds. When it clicked, however, I responded as sarcastically as I could, “Oh, very funny. Next you’ll be telling me the ground can flip upside down.”

“Actually, that did happen here at one point.”

I’m fairly certain my brain imploded in on itself at that point, somehow causing me to twitch my left eye repeatedly. “I’m sorry?”

“There’s this creature called the draconequus that’s named Discord. He literally caused as much chaos and havoc as he could in the time out of his stone prison, and one of the things he did was lift part of Ponyville off the ground and then flipped it upside down. So…” she trailed off. Well, it was either that, or I stopped listening to her so that my brain could comprehend what she just told me.

“Yes, well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to mash my head against that tree until what you just said actually makes sense,” I replied, pointing behind me in an unspecified direction.

Next part is a bit of a blur for me, as I turned around, walked in the direction I turned, and proceeded to pound my head into the tree about a dozen times. I think Twilight might have been talking, but me nearly giving myself a concussion kind of blurred out what she was saying.

“Well, good news is I’m not a ghost,” I said, stumbling back to where I was before, “Bad news is I can’t figure out how what you said works. That and brain damage. Possibly.”

“And how old are you?” she asked incredulously.

“42,” I replied, “Now, let’s see what I can help find around here.”

“Wait, hold on! You’re 42?”

I gave a questioning look and finally said, “Yeah… Why? Is that some taboo age I’m never supposed to reach?”

“Er… Not taboo, no, but I had not expected you to be so young. Average pony lifespan nowadays is about 150.”

“Huh,” was the only response I had for that.  Theses ponies must have a fairly high quality of life to be living that long. The last time we humans even got close was before the war broke out, then we reached about 100 on average. Nowadays, because of all the casualties from the war and the destruction that it caused the average lifespan went down to about 65, maybe 70. I forget. But here, I might as well just be living in the 2100’s… With talking ponies… Still have to get used to that.

“Regardless, we should scavenge what we can for food and finish up quickly. The sooner we’re back to civilization the better, as far as I’m concerned,” I said. With that, I started helping Twilight with the hunt around the area for any edible plant possible; me relying on previous experience, Twilight relying on (from what she tells me, anyway) a survival help book she read once. Originally I figured that since she was a pony and only ate plant life due to teeth structure that she’d know it naturally, or at least would have memorized it through conditioning at a young age. I guess it just works differently here as opposed to my universe. Well, it’s either that or she’s lying, but I get the feeling that she wouldn’t lie about something like that. Then again, this could just be a human-pony cultural barrier that I just can’t seem to- am I really thinking this? You know, adjusting to things like these sounds a lot easier in your head than when you actually implement them.

My ramblings aside, (and skipping ahead a bit, for that matter. Most notably the search, which took a grand total of about 10 minutes) we gathered a respectable amount of fruits, nuts, berries, and the like. I got everything that I knew wouldn’t hurt me from my experimentation with edibles that I tested on my second day here. Things that wouldn’t hurt me immediately, anyway. At the time I had no idea whether or not the plants and things I ate would have some delayed effects on my digestive system. Fortunately enough for me, they didn’t. Except for maybe the rainbow-colored flower, but that was just like any other spicy food. Goes right through you, as they say.

I keep getting sidetracked while writing this, don’t I? I’ve got to stop doing that. Straight to the point, after we had consumed what food we found, we continued our travels home. Unfortunately, it took a lot longer to get back from Tartarus than it took to get there in the first place. Now I see why people were so reluctant to give up fossil fuels before 2020; the most efficient methods of travel revolved entirely around that stuff, and if you figure that’s the only source of fuel you can find, then I can see why people were rioting. It’s just so convenient to travel quickly. Of course, once the people were assured that scientists had found a suitable replacement energy source, they calmed down and adjusted to using it. It ended up being cow milk. Go figure.

Since the only thing we could really do was talk, we abused the hell out of utilizing that. First we started talking a bit about Equestria’s governmental system (something that I’d been dying to hear about since day three) and comparing it with my native country’s: The United States of America. Apparently, our governments had a decent bit in common with one another. From what I could gather from Twilight’s explanation, the country was structured into provinces, and the major cities of Equestria were more or less province capitols. The mayors from each of the major towns would all get together in Canterlot, (it being the Royal City) decide on what all they would need, and then issue a request of the Princess to get it for them. While still being a monarchy, it still had very Republic-like qualities. I wanted to ask about federalism and see if that at least existed here in one of the governments in the world, but the name came up a couple of times in my sharing of America’s government and she looked at me strangely every time it did. I took it as a "no" and didn’t bother asking whether it was.

The next topic that came up was about dating system structure. In other words, their calendar; I was curious to see whether or not our universes had a parallel there, as well. Surprisingly enough, they did.

“Our calendar is structured into twelve months with various amounts of days per month. Four weeks make up a month and seven days a week. A day is about 24 hours on approximation, but-”

“-The miniscule time difference from rounding the day to 24 hours makes an extra day in the year every four years, right?”

She looked at me like I was some sort of mind reader. “Yeah, how did you know that?”

“Because we do the same thing on my universe. You know, with the amount of parallels our universes have, I’d say that they’re fairly close together in our section of the multiverse…” That’s when it dawned on me. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that possibility sooner? “I think I just found the reason as to how I got here.”

“You did?” I didn’t think she’d believe me at first. Not without some explanation, at least.

“Considering that our universes should be close together due to all the parallels between our worlds, and considering the possibility that the universes are expanding in every direction, it’s possible that our universes collided and flung me here. Sort of like a chemical reaction.”

“So that would essentially just make you an electron by that comparison.”

“Exactly. Well, there’s no particular way to prove any of the possible scenarios, this one just seems the most possible based on chance.”

“On chance? So, what, luck brought you here?”

“That’s one way to put it, I suppose. Technically, ‘luck’ in the sense most refer to doesn’t exist in that way, but more rather just an incredibly unlikely event that occurs at a specific time and place. As plausible as the wormhole scenario sounds, it’s not exactly high on the… chance meter, for lack of a better term.”

I think I might have lost Twilight in that explanation. Can’t say I blame her, these theories are incredibly far-fetched unless, well, you’re a part of them.

“Oh, by the way, I don’t think I got the current year. Mind telling me?”

“Sure, it’s June the 19th, 1003 A.L.B.”

“‘A.L.B.’? What’s that an abbreviation of?”

She giggled slightly, remembering my current state of knowledge about her planet: virtually nothing. “Oh, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting you’re new here. It stands for ‘After Luna’s Banishment.’ Luna being our Princess in charge of royal duties during the night, that is.”

“And she got banished? What the hell did she do to get herself banished?” Honestly, I had no idea as to what to expect, but I’m fairly certain that what Twilight said in response caught me a bit off-guard.

“She tried to cause nighttime eternal because she was jealous of ponies enjoying Princess Celestia’s day over her night. Princess Celestia managed to banish her to the moon for one thousand years, and that sentence ended three years ago now. By that time, Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville where I met my best friends and we found the Elements of Harmony, basically incredibly powerful magical artifacts, and used them to remove the corruption from Princess Luna and Princess Celestia took her back in to help rule the throne like a thousand years before.”

“I… Wow… That’s pretty damn impressive, to say the least.” Understatement of the century. 

“What about you? Since you have the same calendar as us, what year is your culture on?”

“2036 A.D. A.D. standing for ‘Anno Domini,’ which translates out to ‘In the Year of Our Lord,’ if I remember right.”

“‘Lord’? Is that referring to a human ruler or a deity?”

"It's referring to a deity, but," Here’s where it gets complicated. I shook my head, “I'm not quite convinced that he exists. The majority of my species thinks they do, though.”

"Hmm, I see." She nodded her head in contemplation, "No one doubts the existence of our two deities in Equestria... Is there a reason why you doubt yours?"

"There are many, in fact. I'd rather not go through all of them now, though, that will take far too long. But, uh, you mentioned two deities?"

“Yes, they're Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

“You mean the one that got banished?”

“The very same. They’re alicorns, meaning they have both wings and a horn.”

Oh, so they’re not deities, they’re just unique. Might as well not argue with the definition they applied to deity, I have a feeling it won’t go anywhere.

As we continued our journey back to Ponyville, Twilight and I started little small-talk conversations. Things like our favorite pieces of literature (which, for the life of me, I can’t seem to remember any bit of pony literature Twilight was talking about) and family talk. In that regard, it was mostly a one-sided conversation with me on the listening end. Twilight, from the sound of it, had a really great life. Nice parents, a loving brother, and accomplishing what most common folk would consider to be “impossible feats.” Me, on the other hand? I think I’ll just leave it at “I only had one of those things.”

Unfortunately, chance just never seemed to be on my side. Ever.

“What do you mean?”

Apparently I had muttered those words under my breath and Twilight had heard them. Either that or Twilight’s a nosy telepath and she never bothered to mention that until that point. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, it can’t be that bad. Besides, I’ve been telling you all about my family; it’s only fair you tell me about yours.” Trust me, you really don’t want to know.

“Let’s just say that my family didn’t work well together.”

“You can do better than that! Seriously, how bad can it be?”

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. “You want to know? My parents divorced before I could even walk properly, and my father managed to drain all the financial resources my mother had at the time. Since my mother had custody over me that meant that I had to live in poverty with her for a long time; had it not been for my uncle, I would have died on the streets in a gang war. By the time I turned 18, my mother stopped trusting me completely because I didn’t approve of her moronic, abuse boyfriend which never worked out in the long run, and because I went to live with my father due to financial reasons for educational purposes. The second I got out of college, the highest form of education in my society, I lived alone, occasionally visiting what little friends I had every now and again. There. Happy now?”

I hadn’t been looking at her the whole time I was having a tangent about my problems, so when I looked back at her I had no idea what to expect. Seeing her expression was heart-wrenching, to say the least. I had driven a colorful, talking pony to the verge of tears just by telling her about myself. Well, the last comment certainly didn’t help.

When I noticed a small stream of water flow down her face I felt it was time to intervene.

My voice had a calming tone, “Hey, come on now, don’t cry. It’s my life, I’ve gotten over it.” Liar. “The last thing we need to worry about is my problems in the middle of a forest. Let’s just forget that line of conversation and start another. That sounds better, doesn’t it?”

She shook her head, the tears still flowing from her face. "That's just so depressing. How do you live with it?"

I don't. “Here,” I said, wiping her tears with a handkerchief that I had remembered was stored in one of my inner cloak pockets. I have no idea what my past self was thinking when he was gearing up the day I got flung here, but I don’t think I could have been more grateful to myself at that point. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” she said, the tears finally starting to subside, “Sorry, I didn’t think I usually got that emotional, but you…” She paused a bit before continuing, as if she were trying to collect her thoughts, “You’ve been through that much hardship and yet you still manage to keep an upbeat attitude. How do you do it?”

I’ve never been good with taking compliments (even more so now that they were coming from a magical talking pony… literally…) so I shrugged in response. “If I can’t manage to deal with my problems, I don’t see how I could help others with theirs.” My nonexistent God, do I always sound this corny?

She looked at me for a while, almost like she was deciding on what to do. To be honest, I was afraid the tears were going to come back, but instead she did something that completely took me by surprise. She hugged me. She pulled me down on my knees and wrapped her hooves around my neck. If being flustered could be measured on a scale, I’m fairly certain that I would have broken it at that point. I was so completely lost, in fact, that I just patted her on the back until she was done.

Twilight pulled away from… That… and shifted her hooves towards the top of my head. She started to lift my hood to remove it, which nearly got an immediate, knee-jerk reaction from my arm to get her to stop, but I hesitated. For some reason I just didn’t seem to mind her knowing what my face looked like. I suppose I didn’t have a reason for it anymore, anyway. After all, the whole reason I kept my cloak hood up was to hide my face from the public on my planet, and seeing as I wasn’t on my Earth anymore, I didn’t feel the need to stop her.

Doing said previously named action revealed what features my face had to offer: a fairly short, unshaven beard which hadn’t been tended to in months; fairly long, brown hair that covered my forehead and went down a bit past my eyebrows; and old, brown eyes that at that point in time had a bit of bags under them from not sleeping very well.

“So this is what a human looks like…”

I nodded, “More or less.”

“Hey, Hurricane?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever change.”

Twilight was just full of surprises that day. That was the first legitimate compliment I had gotten in well over two years. Remember what I said about that fluster meter earlier? It most definitely would have been broken twice by then.

“Th-Thank you, Twilight Sparkle.”




> Act V: Meetings All Around ~ Let the Game Begin
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Act V: Meetings All Around ~ Let the Game Begin



For what it’s worth, what I glossed over before was idle chitchat that Twilight and I had between the major conversations I recorded. Believe me, I despise it when anyone uses censorship, but those talks just weren’t really important. Well, from my perspective everything that happens here is important, even lifting up a pen -or in this case, quill- to write something, but that’s not the point. What is the point, however, is that after our conversations while travelling, we finally made it back to Ponyville just before sundown.

Upon our return, I obtained even more strange looks from the passerby ponies that crossed our path back to Twilight’s library. It was obvious that the only reason the stares became longer while looking at me was that I now had my hood down to reveal my face. I know they were just curious about a foreign creature from another universe, but that still doesn’t make them staring at me any less awkward.

“Hey, would you like to meet my friends?” Twilight suddenly asked this question out of nowhere. She seemed rather enthusiastic about it, as well.

I was a bit caught off guard when she asked it, so it took me a few seconds to process, but when it did I managed to give a legitimate answer. “Hm? Oh, sure, I don’t see why not. My luck hasn’t been too bad with meeting your species so far.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow with a curious smile, “Didn’t you say luck doesn’t exist?”

“In the sense that most refer to? Yes, I however, am just abbreviating for the sake of convenience. Unless, of course, you want me to say ‘the probability of a good event happening based on exactly where and when I am in your universe is in my favor,’ instead of just saying ‘luck’.”

She cocked her head with her eyebrow still raised, the smile on her lips fading due to thought process, I’d imagine. Eventually she just settled on saying, “Point taken,” and left it at that. Sounded as though she were a bit frustrated when saying it, though.

Perhaps that came across the wrong way…

“Ah! You two are back!” It was the Mayor. She had apparently snuck up on us while we were talking. “I see the word about your return was correct after all. I expected you to be gone another couple of days.”

Wait, what? 

“‘The word on our return’? You mean you only heard about us coming back and didn’t actually see it for yourself?”

“Well, yes. I figured that would be obvious, would it not?”

“In only five minutes since we walked through that gate? I mean, this town is small, but word travels around here at an abnormally quick rate,” I leaned down to my left where Twilight was standing and whispered into her ear, “Remind me not to start any rumors around here. Ever.”

“I’ll keep the same thing in mind,” Twilight whispered back, “I didn’t even realize that rumors spread around here so quickly.”

Strange. She’s a citizen of the town and doesn’t know that rumors spread here that quickly? I looked back at the way we entered the town from and out of the corner of my eye I noticed a fairly built pony in glistening gold armor that was hiding (very poorly, I might add) behind one of the fruit crates that littered the street. I have no idea what this one is trying to accomplish, but if he’s trying to spy on me he’s not doing a very good job of keeping it a secret.

“Anyway, as I was about to say,” The Mayor interrupted, getting my attention, “Your help, Hurricane, is very much appreciated. Never in all my years have I seen anypony reason with anything from Tartarus. Here is the reward, as promised.” She reached into her bag tied around the midsection of her body (presumably the pony equivalent of a human’s waist) and handed (or should I say hooved…?) a bulging sack to me with the end of her hoof. How she managed that feat, however, was something I was very curious about.

“How are you doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Gripping things with your hooves, how are you doing that?”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

I raised an eyebrow, Must have an extra joint in their hooves to allow them to grip things. Might explain how they were able to build these structures… Man, I really need to dig inside that library.

“Oh, by the way,” The Mayor continued, “I hope the both of you don’t mind, but I contacted the Princess about your arrival. She asked me to give this to you.” She pulled an enclosed letter out of her bag and handed/hooved it to me, which I promptly swiped from her hoof. The envelope had a big red stamp on the back (I had assumed that it was a royal seal at the time) and the front was left blank.

This should be interesting, I mused, opening the unlabeled letter.

“Greetings, strange new entity,
Mayor Mare has told me, to the best of her ability, where you are from, and I believe I am starting to understand. You are from an alternate universe, and, while I am not entirely sure whether you getting here was an accident or not, I do not think that should mean you are not entitled to a proper welcome. I know not how conditions were like in your universe, but do bear in mind that this society that I’ve built does have rules and regulations that I expect you to abide by. Do not think that just because you are in an alternate universe that means you can do whatever you want without any repercussions.
That being made clear, welcome to Equestria! Once again, I have not the slightest idea how things are like in your universe, so I do hope that you can feel comfortable here until you can find your way back.
Mayor Mare has also spared no expense on telling me about how you so easily accepted the job to get rid of the Chimera problem. From recent reports, I gather you have already met my most talented student, Twilight Sparkle, and got the Chimera to willingly go back to Tartarus with the both of you. Very commendable. A job well done, to say the least.
Seeing as you have already met her, I leave you in the very capable hooves of my student to show you around Equestria; perhaps you shall even get to see the other surrounding countries if you stay here long enough. At any rate, the Summer Sun Celebration is being held tomorrow in Ponyville. I would like to get the chance to meet you face to face.
Signed,
Princess Celestia of Equestria”

Of course, my initial thought was, How the hell did she know I was from an alternate universe? I didn’t tell her anything about that. Hell, I haven’t even talked to her, period. Then it hit me, Maybe not her, but I did say that to Rainbow right outside her door. Although, that would mean that those walls aren’t soundproof. I thought about the door leading to the Mayor’s office with skepticism. I guess ponies aren’t as paranoid as humans when it comes to their citizens listening in on governmental delegations. Then again, after what happened in 2025 with those high caliber bullets piercing through the starboard wall to the Senate in the middle of a debate on a bill that killed three senators, I suppose I would want to heighten security after something like that, as well. Well, to be fair, they were fairly secure before that event, as well, they just felt the need to overdo it after something like that. Can’t say I blame them.

“‘Recent reports,’ huh?” I muttered. “Well, Twilight, it looks like I’m in your very capable- er… hooves, I think.” I handed her the letter, just in case she didn’t believe me.

“Look,” The Mayor interrupted again, “Are you going to take this money or not?”

“Oh, right. That.” I wonder… “That building that was destroyed by the Chimera… that wouldn’t have happened to have been a house, would it?”

“Ah, that old place. As a matter of fact, it was. It was very lucky for all of us that no pony was residing in it at the time.”

Seems perfect. “Then use the money to rebuild that. Furthermore, if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind if I took residence in said house when the repairs are done? Until I can find a way back home, of course.”

“I don’t see why not. The rebuilding of that house, however, will take at least three weeks. I hope you don’t mind the wait.”

“I think I can manage. Thank you, Mayor. Now, Twilight, what was it you were saying about meeting friends?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After making a quick stop back into Twilight’s house (which I found out was also a library) to check on how the place held up, we went across town with her explaining various things about its history. Fortunately for Twilight, Rainbow had apparently gotten her message and delivered it to Spike in turn, who did as the message instructed and kept track of the library while she was away. Speaking of, all I really wanted to do was stay in the library and just dig through all the books I could before the day ended. Unfortunately, I had already told Twilight that I’d meet her friends, which it seemed she had her heart set on. Furthermore, I figured, I waited this long to dig through the library already, what’s another day going to hurt? On top of that, this nation’s Princess wants to have a word with me later today, anyway. I’m sure I can get information out of her.

Regarding the town’s history, it didn’t have a particularly interesting start; funded by some of the governmental higher-ups to compensate for a growing population about 100 years ago and has been very slowly growing since. I think the only detail that caught my attention was the fact that Princess Celestia herself helped fund the town. You know, over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that coincidences don’t really exist except under very rare circumstance, and with what Twilight told me about the whole Nightmare Moon thing, it made me wonder whether Princess Celestia had planned that out in advance, especially considering Twilight speaks of her as though she were a goddess. I mean, who’s to say she’s not an oracle?

“Since Pinkie Pie is the closest of my friends near here, I think we’ll just head there first,” Twilight decided aloud, pulling me away from my thoughts. Well, I suppose a more accurate term at this point in time would be “conspiracy theory.”

My thoughts shifted after I heard her friend’s name, Pinkie Pie? Mayor Mare? What’s next, Time Turner? Upon our arrival to this ‘Pinkie Pie’s’ house, I noticed that it was very strangely decorated… as a gingerbread house.

“I take it your friend likes sweets?” I asked, assuming the most obvious conclusion I could draw from her apparently living in a gingerbread house.

“Yeah, she does. Actually, this place also doubles as a bakery, Pinkie just lives on the second floor.”

“That would explain it. Now,” I said, turning to Twilight, “Do introduce me to this ‘Pinkie Pie’.” I opened the door while still facing Twilight only to hear a deafening-

“SURPRISE!” Yes… that. I turned around to see where that obnoxious sound came from only to find an incredibly pink pony with a fairly lightened pink coat and hot pink hair standing right in front of me with a massive grin stretching across her face.

“I take it you’re Pinkie Pie?” I asked, a stoic expression on my face.

“Yessiree!” She was far too hyper to do anything, as far as I was concerned.

Yeah, I’m not dealing with this. “…Twilight, may I withdraw my previous request and forget it ever happened?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be a spoilsport!” Pinkie said, dragging me by my cloak inside. “I had this whole party set up for you!”

At that point, every pony that was hiding behind whatever they could muster for camouflage burst out and all yelled a massive, “SURPRISE!” Pinkie looked up at me with that same massive grin she had before after every pony in the room said that.

“…I don’t get it.” Of course, a lot of other processes were going on in my head at the time like, “What the hell is going on?” and “I have the sudden urge to gouge my eardrum out, assuming it hadn’t already been blown.”

“You don’t have to get it, silly! It’s a party just for you!”

“That isn’t what I meant. I meant why.”

She stared at me with a quizzical expression. “Everypony loves parties…”

“Do I look like a pony to you?”

The previous expression she had faded into one of complete seriousness, “Are you saying you don’t like parties?”

I shrugged, “Not a big fan of them.”

She gasped very loudly and jumped into the air, staying airborne for at least 10 seconds before zooming behind me and pushing me in the direction of the sweets table saying something along the lines of, “Not like parties? How could anypony not like parties?! Parties are the most amazing things ever!” Personally, I was a bit more distracted about how she could DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. Seriously, does this not bother ANYONE else? Physics (or rather, gravity, in this case) should sue; it’d get millions in damage.

First gripping with the hooves, now this? I’m starting to think this universe just doesn’t give a damn about natural order. No wonder a being like Discord exists here.

“Here, try this,” Pinkie said, shoving a cupcake in front of me as far as she could. For fear of her destroying the only sense of reason left on the planet, I obliged to her demands. Using my left hand, I took the cupcake from her hoof and took a bite out of previously mentioned sweet.

“Not bad.” This is the best damn cupcake I’ve ever had in my life. Oh, don’t give me that. So it was the best cupcake I’ve ever had, I still wasn’t about to tell that reality defying pink pony something like that.

…What? Hey, give me a break. I’ve been a mechanical engineer for at least 15 years now; utilizing the laws of physics in everyday life and trying to improve upon things that are based on them is –or rather, was, at this rate- essentially my life’s work. Seeing it literally torn down in a matter of seconds is… aggravating to say the least.

Twilight came walking up to the table that Pinkie brought me to with an orange pony with a cowboy hat on. “Hurricane? I’d like to introduce you to another of my friends: Applejack.”

“Howdy,” the orange pony said in a feminine southern accent, tipping her hat to me.

“Applejack”? Really? Now we’re using breakfast cereals? Are we going to get gibberish next? Next pony name I come across: Flibberworst Dambletrot, ten bucks on it.

Instead of a snarky response, I decided to keep up my appearance and give her a proper salutation. “Greetings.” I glanced over at Pinkie to make sure she wasn’t paying attention, “At least this introduction didn’t begin with screaming.”

Applejack and Twilight chuckled. “Met Pinkie already?” Applejack asked, “You get used to her. She’s not all that bad after you get to know her.”

“Not that bad?” I scoffed, “She broke the Law of Gravity, I’m fairly certain that’s bad.”

“You gotta admit though,” Applejack interjected, “She is a darn good baker.”

“She made those cupcakes?”

Applejack nodded, “Yup. I reckon she’s the best baker around these parts, if not the whole dang country.”

Oh… and now I feel bad. I looked at the table that Pinkie had set up for all the party food, mostly consisting of cupcakes, cakes, and other like sweets. An idea came to mind after seeing the table, She made all of these… Perhaps she’d like to learn how to make something?

Twilight noticed my looking about the table, “What are you doing?”

“Making it up to her. She throws this party for me with sweets she made herself and here I am talking about her behind her back. Now then,” I started, taking Pinkie by the nearest forehoof I could reach and dragging her to the kitchen, “Come with me.”

I believe three seconds is the quickest I’ve ever managed to get into a kitchen before. Anywhere. Walking in, I noticed the kitchen was fairly up-to-date with common standards, and that’s what was so strange. It was up-to-date with MY common standards, from my universe. Had it not been for the fact that I was so guilt-ridden about possibly hurting Pinkie’s feelings, I probably would’ve paid a lot more attention to it when I first entered.

…Yes, I’m paranoid; there are a lot worse conditions a person can have, you know. Huh. “Person.” I suppose that word’s outdated to me by now. One month and already my universe seems so distant, with me starting to use their vocabulary and all. Well, I suppose “vocabulary” is giving it a little too much credit. “Horse puns” would be a little more accurate. Enough of my ramblings, onwards to the sharing of knowledge! Am I always this corny?

“So, I heard that you made all of the sweets here and I figured you might like learning how to make something, assuming you don’t know how already.”

“Sure! But, what is it?”

“Ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” she echoed, “We already have that here, silly!”

“Do you know how to make it? Right here, right now?”

“You mean you can teach me how to make ice cream when and wherever I want?”

“Assuming you had the materials? Yes. Why?” Somehow I get the feeling I’m going to regret saying that.

“Oh my gosh! That’s the nicest thing anypony’s done for me today! Making ice cream… Whenever I want! Oh, this is like a dream come true! Wait; let me write this down as we go so I don’t forget!” She vanished from the room in a pink blur and rematerialized not even five seconds later with a quill, ink, and a sheet of paper. And here I thought I made it to the kitchen quickly.

Does she ever sit still? With any other person that acts like this I would risk giving them coffee, but seeing as she can break the very fabric of reality, I’d really rather not. Davros should have used her instead of kidnapping 27 planets and putting them out of sync with time itself; a lot less time consuming and probably more effective. “Actually, I was hoping you could help me out with this, seeing as I don’t know where any of your supplies are.”

I didn’t think this was possible, but her smile widened even further and she literally jumped at the chance to help me. “Of course I’ll help! What do you need?”

“Well, first thing’s first, do you have any particular flavor preference for ice cream? If so, you better get it out now before we start.”

Pinkie rushed back into the party room and brought back a single cupcake. “This, please!”

“Unfortunately, a solidified cupcake wouldn’t exactly work with the process I’m about to show you. If you had it in a liquidized form, however, it might work as-”

She zipped out of the room and came back with a sealed jar with liquid in it labeled “Liquidized Cupcake”.

I took one good look at the label and felt like giving up everything right then and there. “-flavoring. Of course you would have something like that, why wouldn’t you? Right, well, might as well start gathering supplies. Salt first, I suppose.”

A fairly large cylinder of salt seemed to materialize on the counter next to the jar.

“Milk and crème.”

The fridge door opened for a split second and cartons of milk and crème were on the counter.

“Ice.”

A bag of ice stood next to the other materials.

“Last things are just two different sized containers. I don’t suppose you have some form of a plastic bag?”

Two different-sized rectangular containers, each filled with plastic bags, formed on the table.

“That’s oddly convenient. Now, let’s get to making this, shall we?”

Her overly enthusiastic nodding signaled that I should’ve probably gotten started making it five minutes ago, so I walked her through, step by step, how the process was going to work.

In order to conserve time due to Pinkie’s constant stopping of my explanation so that she could actually understand what I was saying, (for she apparently didn’t have almost fundamental chemistry knowledge, oddly enough) I shall condense my lecture into a single paragraph. Well, granted, I’m not exactly the best instructor you’d come across, so her constantly asking questions was most likely my fault. Anyway, instructions: (also, for those who either know how to do this already, or don’t want to be bothered with learning this process, you can just skip the next two paragraphs)

After you have all the supplies, you want to mix the milk and crème in the smaller of the plastic bags with whatever extra flavoring you want in and make sure that when you seal it, it’s tight enough so that nothing from outside the bag can get in. Trust me, you do not want to taste salty ice cream, it’s not very pleasant. After that you get the larger container and fill it enough with ice so that the ice can surround the smaller bag when you put it in. Speaking of, that particular action just so happens to be the next step, so after you put the bag in, you put a reasonable amount of salt in the larger bag to get the ice to melt and, in turn, absorb enough heat from the milk, crème, and whatever else you put in the small bag so that it starts to freeze. Shaking the bag with some form of towel or old newspaper wrapped around it helps speed up the process; in fact, I highly recommend doing that. Otherwise the process takes too long for the milk and crème to solidify to the point you want.

It’s not exactly ice cream in the sense that industrial ice cream manufacturers will tell you (on my universe, at least, considering the processes are so differed) but it was the best I could do on that short of notice and with the supplies available. You know, funny thing, I learned how to do that in my junior year of High School. I think the only reason I even remember how is because my chemistry teacher is the best science instructor I’ve had in my life. Man, I miss that guy.

“…and now we can eat it.”

“This is amazing!” Pinkie stated, “The others are going to flip once they hear about this!”

“I’d imagine they would, but it might not be for the same reason. Look,” I said, pointing to the now half empty containers of milk and crème left on the counter, “It wastes far too many resources to be productive. Now, popsicles on the other hand…”

“Pop’s cycle?”

“You know, frozen flavored liquid?”

She shook her head.

“You really don’t have those here?” I find that hard to believe. Well, not as hard as Pinkie breaking the Law of Gravity, but still very unlikely.

Same response from before.

“Huh. That’s odd. Well, it is fairly easy to make. You have an ice cube tray?”

She pulled a tray out of the freezer portion of the refrigerator already filled with ice cubes and showed it to me.

Why am I not surprised? I guess the better question here is what doesn’t this universe have that mine does? “What drink is your favorite?”

“Sarsaparilla!”

“So noncarbonated root beer. Alright then, get that out.” Not surprised that her favorite drink is something loaded with sugar. No wonder she’s so hyper.

She opened the fridge and took one of the many bottles on the door (I’d estimate there were somewhere around 30 of them) and put that on the counter, along with the ice cube tray.

“Then toothpicks and plastic wrap.”

The toothpicks weren’t really a surprise. I mean, if they can grip things with hooves, I don’t see the problem. Plastic wrap and plastic bags, on the other hand, signify that they’ve utilized nonrenewable resources (specifically petroleum) already. The lack of air pollution around Ponyville tells me that if they do make plastic the same way my Earth does, they don’t make it around here. This also means that they have a shipping system that would have to get the job done fairly quickly if they want the supplies to reach Ponyville in a short amount of time. Just what do they use, anyway? At the time I was so dumbfounded at Pinkie’s being able to defy physics that I didn’t notice it. After the party, however, that’s when the questions started.

But, back to the event at hand, as I explained how to go through the process of making, essentially, flavored ice, I was doing the actions I listed (once again, you can just skip the rest of the paragraph if you don’t want to be bothered by something like this). “So, you fill the ice cube tray with whatever drink you want, in your case sarsaparilla, and put the plastic wrap tightly over it so that you can stick the toothpicks in. Then you just place it in the freezer and wait until it cools. Easy stuff.”

Pinkie looked up at me with an amazed expression, almost child-like amazement. “How do you know how to do all this?”

“Random information tends to stick in my head. Funny. Here I can recite complicated Physics equations, memorize chemical processes, reason with a mythological being, but I still can’t remember my name.”

“Don’t be silly! It’s Hurricane, remember? The whole town will tell you that!”

“Not my real name. That’s something Rainbow came up with on the spot to call me by and I just went with it.”

“But… Rainbow told me that you didn’t have a name…”

“What?” I suppose I wasn’t very clear with that to her when Rainbow and I first met, was I? “Oh! Oh, no, when I said I didn’t have a name, I meant I didn’t have one to give. Couldn’t remember it, didn’t want to strain myself, so I just let her pick. Probably caused by partial amnesia, I’d wager, considering I also can’t remember the last two weeks I spent on my planet. Either that or it has to deal with how I got here. I’ll never know. Maybe.”

“Then what do I call you?”

What is she, daft? I shrugged, “Same thing you called me before.”

“But it’s not your real name.”

Where is she going with this? “So?”

“Doesn’t it bother you that you don’t know your real name?”

I shrugged again, “Not knowing my real name is the least of my problems right now, Pinkie. Trust me on that.”

What is this species’ obsession with hugging each other? Honestly, I reveal one piece of information about myself and these ponies just start hugging me. Did my life really go that poorly? Ironically, I wasn’t even referring to my dysfunctional family that time. I was actually referring to me being stranded on an alternate universe that may or may not even have a way to get me back home. Granted, that isn’t exactly the best of situations to be put in, but it’s a hell of a lot better than being thrown into a warzone. THAT wasn’t a fun day.

Oh great, this again. I’m starting to think that there just might be a pattern here. “Uh… There, there. It’s alright.”

“But you don’t know your own name!” She was blubbering so much that I barely managed to make that out from her original statement which went something along the lines of, “Buhh you duhnt ebben know eyoiuor neyme!” Trust me, despite how easy I made that seem, deciphering that from speech and then converting it to text was probably harder than my physics final. Then again, I have a feeling trying to analyze anything Pinkie does will be just as difficult.

“It’s only a name, Pinkie. Calm down.” And here I thought I made mountains out of molehills.

“Okay!” Her tears immediately stopped flowing as if she was a water faucet and Pinkie instantly returned to her usual bubbly attitude. Which was then preceded by a question not even a minute afterwards, “Say, how long have you had a sword?”

I’m not even going to ask. I think I’m better off just abandoning all sense of logic and reason when I’m around her, it might make my life just a bit easier. “Ever since I got here, Pinkie.” Come to think of it, I don’t remember why I had it on me in the first place. Despite all the trouble I went through to be able to carry that thing around, I don’t have it on me 24/7. If my memories that are missing return, I really hope it’s the past two weeks that come back first, because I want to know why in the fuck I have a handkerchief, my cloak, and my sword on me all at the same time, let alone all the rest of the things in my cloak that I had yet to look through as of this point in time.

“Ohhhhh… Then how did you get it?”

Why do I get the feeling she won’t stop pestering me until I tell her what she wants to know? “I made it. Took up swordsmanship in a country on my Earth called Japan, and when my teacher felt I was ready he allowed me to make this.” I pointed to my sword, still in its sheath, “My country’s law wasn’t very happy about me replacing a gun with this, but I managed to convince the Supreme Court otherwise.” That was the most time-consuming, pointless debate that went on way longer than it should have about my sword. I had to appeal to the Supreme Court (after getting arrested, of course. The law is always shoot first; ask questions later) that the Second Amendment, the Right to Bear Arms, justified my usage of a sword because Arms is short for Armaments, which includes swords. Nearly a year of debate just to tell the Judicial System a single sentence and for them to agree with me. If that wasn’t a massive waste of time, I don’t know what is. I suppose I was lucky the Supreme Court at the time had a majority of Conservatives, because approving something like that definitely wouldn’t have happened with a Liberal majority. Ironically, I’ve always been a Liberal at heart.

I think Pinkie ignored my entire last sentence, because she went straight to asking me, “Why do you have it with you?”

Oh great, ask the one question I don’t know. “Self-defense. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to do some research at the library.” The only thing I’ve wanted to do for the past day now.

I walked out the door from the kitchen back to where the party was going on and bumped into a pure white unicorn with styled purple hair. “Oh! Sorry about that, wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s quite alright, darling,” she replied, looking up at me. “So you’re that new creature everypony has been talking about. Twilight has been telling me about you while you were in there with Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight? “I take it you’re another of Twilight’s friends she wanted to introduce me to?”

“Yes, that’s right. However, Spike hoofed her a letter from Princess Celestia and then she darted off mumbling about needing to get things prepared for dinner.”

I may not have known her for very long, but somehow that doesn’t really surprise me. “I see. What’s your name? I suppose we haven’t properly met, have we?”

“Oh, how rude of me! Of course; I’m Rarity, the Element of Generosity and fashionista extraordinaire. A pleasure to meet you, darling.”

“Element of-? Oh, that’s right. The… what were they…? Elements of Harmony, I think Twilight called them?”

“That’s right. All of us are best friends. How many of us have you met, by the way?”

“There are six of you right?”

She nodded.

I suppose this is a good a test as any for my memory. “I’ve only met five of you, then. In order, I met Rainbow, Twilight, Pinkie, you, and I had a brief talk with the breakfast cereal.”

Rarity shot me a confused look, “I’m sorry?”

“Er- Applejack.” Speaking of, that reminds me: next pony I met was… Rarity… Well, there goes ten dollars.

“I see…” Rarity remarked, still confused. “At any rate, it is very nice to finally meet you, Hurricane.”

“Likewise. So, I’m curious, and I thought you might know; did Pinkie really throw this party for me?” The only reason I ask is because the last time I had an actual party thrown for me was on my- what, 15th birthday? Even then, it was only a friendly get-together with a couple of my close friends, and it was never on a caliber of this size. You know, with the whole damn town being invited. Speaking of, for a bunch of curious ponies, they didn’t really bother about trying to get to know me during the party. I don’t recall a single one of them coming up and asking me a question. Got me rather dissapointed, actually. I like answering questions…

She brought one of her forehooves up to her chin, I would assume to contemplate the answer. “Well, honestly, darling, I think she was knocking out two birds with one stone. Since the Summer Sun Celebration is tomorrow, all us ponyfolk stay up all night to watch Princess Celestia raise the sun, and that usually involves a party.”

“Knocking out”? I suppose killing would be rather extreme for them, considering how they act. Well, maybe except Rainbow. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did something like that. Regardless, it gives me some consolation that Pinkie didn’t just throw this party for me. I don’t like when people try to throw parties for me, because I’m most definitely not a party person, and I hate to dissappoint the host. “Kinda figured as much. Well, I’d love to stay and chat,  but I really need to do some research at your library. Been meaning to do that for the past day.”

“Tell Twilight I said thank you for introducing me, even if she wasn’t there to do so, herself.”

“Will do.” With that, I sidestepped past her and made my way out of the crowded bakery with the occasional “Excuse me,” and “Pardon,” when I accidentally bumped into some ponies here and there. Apparently, the ponies are a lot more comfortable around me now that (I think) they don’t consider me a threat. It still surprises me was that they didn’t stop me to ask any questions about my personal life or my planet. Around the time I thought that in some form or another, (my exact thought process revolving around that was too much of a jumbled mess for me to remember very well; I’m rather scatter-brained, in case you can’t tell) there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head as if I had forgotten something about it, but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was. Oh well, I’ll think of it eventually.

By retracing my steps and remembering certain landmarks, (being the only tree building certainly made it noticable) I made my way back to Twilight’s library-house in a good five minutes, I’d estimate. The streets were fairly clear at the time due to Pinkie’s party; the already fairly low count of ponies on the street had dwindled to virtually none except for the few who were late to said party from before. Town’s really small. One hundred years and barely any expansion? Strange. A little too strange… I would think that the ponies who literally saved the planet at least once would get some attention, whether it be unwanted or not. Chalk another question up for the already outrageously long list that still keeps growing.

My train of thought was put on hold as I realized that I had made it to the front door of the library. By instinct, I reached for the door and was about to open it, but then I realized that this is still someone- somepony’s house. Instead of just going with instinct, I stopped my hand and curled it into a fist. Four knocks could be heard on either side of the door followed by footsteps- or should I say hoofsteps? I’m not sure. Either way, they stopped at the other end of the door that proceeded to swing inwards to reveal a large, white-coated unicorn with wings locking its eyes with mine.

It spoke first, chiming a distinct feminine voice, “You must be this human I’ve been hearing about.”

I glanced to her side, looking for distinct characteristics about her. Fairly built frame, nebula-like hair that was long, and pieces of golden armor on her chest, legs, and head. Similar armor to what that strange pony was wearing from before. The most important feature was a sun marking on her backside. “I take it you’re Princess Celestia?”

“That is correct.” She replied, “Do come in. We have much to discuss.”

The so-called goddess stepped aside from the doorway and motioned me in with the swipe of her head. I took her command and stepped inside the library, to which I found Twilight frantically trying to rearrange things with Spike’s help.

The table from the kitchen was apparently movable, for it was now right in the middle of the room with a massive amount of shelves filled with books. Spike was carrying kitchen utensils such as silverware and plates to the table while Twilight was levitating chairs in appropriate spots all around it.

“So what’s, uh…?” I asked, motioning to the work Twilight and Spike were doing.

“My young student is preparing a feast in response to our arrival here. I had surmised that you would have gathered that much already.”

Smart ass. I suppose the better question would have been ‘Why?’, but I think it’s safe to assume that from what Rarity told me earlier about Twilight’s initial response to hearing of Princess Celestia’s arrival that she probably felt obligated to do something special for the one she admires most. Can’t really say I’m surprised. Twilight would seem the type to overreact with a gathering like this. That, and this is the Princess of a nation that’s visiting you, after all.

I moved towards the kitchen, deciding to help with setting the table, seeing as I had nothing better to do at the time. There were already three spots at the table set up, so I got an extra two sets, for I had suspected something about that suspicious character I noticed when I walked back into town earlier. On top of setting up the rest of the table, I also aquired another chair from nearby and put it on the side of the table closest to the door, as with the extra set.

Celestia noticed this (obviously; if she hadn’t I would’ve expected there to be something wrong with her) and promptly asked, “Are we expecting somepony else tonight?”

Since that question was very clearly directed toward me, I was the one to answer, “You never can be too sure whether or not you get an extra person knocking on the door at an unexpected time such as this. I will take lesser portions to reflect this.” It wasn’t a total lie. I definitely wasn’t lying about the last part, but the first part, on the other hand… I mean, when I lived in India for a very brief period of time (about 2 months, I was stationed there for a project at work because a company in India was working with us on it at the time) I occasionally set the table for an extra person on the off chance something like that did happen because I didn’t want a person to leave empty handed, especially considering some of the religions out there, but my intentions this time were a bit more dubious.

“A seemingly noble intention,” she replied, “Do you object to this, my faithful student?”

Twilight shook her head, “Not at all, Princess.”

I smirked a bit, I bet the only reason she’s accepting this is because her Princess is calling it a “noble intention.” She’s a little too predictable when it comes to this nation’s royalty.

Soon after Twilight’s response, everyone was seated with food on the table, the extra seat being at Celestia’s side of the square. The feast, which Twilight had wonderfully prepared, consisted of numerous greens, most of which I recognized. It reminded me a bit of natural Indian cuisine, coincidentally enough.

It was unnaturally quiet at the table, no one speaking a word as the dinner dragged on. It was up to Celestia to break the silence, as I was never one for being able to start a conversation well.

“So where exactly are you from, Hurricane?”

“The state of California, in the United States of America. It’s located on the continent of North America on the planet Earth, which I hear is the name of this planet.”

“That’s right,” she replied, “Although the state, country, and continent you speak of is foreign to me. I have not yet heard of these places you speak of.”

So my initial assumption was correct on my being here. “I see. Well, that clears up about half of the questions I had lingering in the back of my head. Also, a bit off-topic,” I said noticing a faint glimmer near the window, “but when were you going to tell me about your friend tailgating me since I got back here?”

Celestia looked taken aback for a brief moment before gaining her composure, “What do you mean?”

I laughed, “Oh, don’t be daft.” I nodded to the window behind Twilight and Spike, “He’s hiding under that window. Been following us all day; doesn’t do a very good job at it, either, sorry to say.”

She looked out the window and sighed, probably noticing the glimmer from the armor that our suspect was wearing. Twilight and Spike both turned around to look, as well, but I couldn’t get a good look at their faces to see whether they noticed him or not.

“Are you going to invite your friend in, or not?”

“You certainly have a good eye,” she started, turning her head towards the window, “Alright, Warding Bolt, you can come out now. I think it’s safe to say that your cover has been blown.”

Rustling from the bushes could be seen from the window and the fairly built, golden-armored pony that I saw before stood up, walking around the house to the front door. I saw Celestia’s horn light up and the door swung open, revealing the spy.

“Welcome aboard.We saved you a seat,” I said, motioning to the chair next to Celestia. The guard walked shamefully to the seat and took his place.

“So how did you…?” Celestia started.

“Notice him?” I finished. “Truthfully? I probably wouldn’t have if he wasn’t wearing that armor. If that’s standard espionage procedure, I highly suggest you reform it.”

“You seem to have a talent for noticing things. Makes me wonder what all you noticed today…” she stated rather ominously.

“Besides the tailgaiting?” I asked. “Well, the fact that the reason you know about me was because of the Mayor giving you word. Also, I may not have noticed it at the time, but that a guard or guards were following us to and from Tartarus as well as after we got back.” I motioned to aforementioned Warding Bolt sitting next to Celestia after saying the last part. “Not to mention that there are probably more guards somewhere near this general vicinity.”

Twilight gave me a really confused look then turned to Celestia, as if to ask her if that was true.

Celestia’s eyes widened, only for a second, then they went back to normal, “What gave you those ideas?”

“Easy,” I started, “I figured out the first part from what was in the letter, that much was very obvious. The second part, however, was from a slip of the Mayor’s tongue. She told me that she only got word of our arrival back, which implies that someone had been watching us on at least our way back to know when we would make it here. Since your level of espionage is hiding under windows,” I said smirking toward Warding Bolt, “I can imagine someone being near us to observe our every movement would be on that level of espionage. The third is an assumption based on your political status. Seems unlikely that a Princess taking a leave to do some sort of performance or another at a celebration would only get one guard assigned to her, not to mention the fact that he was already tailgating us at the time of your arrival.”

The Princess gave me a stare I couldn’t quite read, then smiled and chuckled, “It appears as though I underestimated your mental prowess, Hurricane.”

I smiled and laughed back with her, “Gee, thanks.”

“I am quite curious as to what your profession is based on what you’ve told me thus far.”

“Tell you what,” I said, “How about we make this questionairre a little more fun?”

All the members at the table gave me a confused look and Celestia motioned for me to continue.

“Let’s play a little game. It’s a form of 20 questions. Whoever starts asks a question, and one of the rest of us at the table is supposed to answer it. When someone answers a question correctly, they get to ask the next question. If a question isn’t answered, it’s considered a pass, doesn’t count toward the total 20 question limit, and the questioner needs to ask another question. Things regarding my homeworld you’ll have to take my word for and if I’m not sure of something it’ll count as a pass to make things fair. So, are you all willing to play?” I put my hand in the middle of the table, making sure not to touch the food.

Spike was the first one to chime in, “I’m game.” He tried to reach his small arm over the table into the middle, but couldn’t reach, so I put my arm closer to him and he put his claws over my hand.

Twilight and Warding Bolt were clearly unsure of what to do for fear of getting on Celestia’s bad side, so they waited for her input on the matter.

Celestia’s look of previous confusion dissipated into that of curiousity, and with a smile said, “Sure, why not? That sounds like fun.” She then reached her hoof over the table and put it on top of Spike’s claw. Her actions forced the other two at the table to join her, their hooves being placed over hers.

“So it’s unanimous?” I clarified.

The rest of the table all nodded their heads in response.

I smiled, “Then let the game begin.”

> Act VI: A Game of Trust
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



“Normally, as to who’d go first, I would give it to whoever asked the last question, but that wouldn’t really seem fair, would it?” I pondered a bit before continuing, “How about this: royalty first?” I looked over to the Sun Deity, her demeanor calm and docile.

Celestia didn’t respond to my question. To be honest, I didn’t really care if she responded to it or not.

“Well, if no one else here has an objection, then by all means, Princess, go first.”

It did not take her very long to come up with a question for me. Of course, by “very long” I meant about four seconds, and with how immediate her question was to me, I’d almost say that she had been waiting to ask it for some time. “How many wars has your species had?”

To say that the question had thrown me off-guard would not be entirely accurate. I was expecting this question at some point or another whether it was during this game of ours, or after, but I was certainly not expecting it to be the first.

I chuckled a bit, “You’re not going to like the answer.”

“I believe I can manage.”

I shrugged, “Truthfully, I cannot give you a straight answer for that question. If you are referring to how many wars my species has had as a whole, I have lost track; and quite honestly, I don’t think my species has truly kept track of it either. I could give you an exact number within the last 120 years, but beyond that I could not say for certain.”

“Then allow me to rephrase my question: How many wars have your species had in the past century?” I believe she was getting a little testy with me at this point.

With how I responded, I could swear that the rest of the dinner table had thought that I had just gone insane. “Nine and counting.”

Everyone else sitting at the table had a fairly similar reaction: eyes wide, mouth agape. I believe I also heard Twilight mutter something along the lines of, “He’s got to be joking…” I could be wrong about that though, I never pressed her on the matter. It was only Celestia that had a differed reaction from the rest; after her eyes went wide, they immediately turned into a scowl, and as I was about to ask my question, that white horse interrupted me.

“That was a joke, was it not?”

“I take it that is a clarification question, so it will not count toward the number of questions asked for the game. As for the answer, that would be a ‘no.’”

Celestia’s scowl hardened, “And have you participated in one of these wars?”

I gave a sly smile, “It would not be wise to break the rules of this game. Everyone playing must abide by them for the game to continue. If you seriously wish for an answer to that question, you must first answer another question. Of course, if you want to stop playing now, and just barrage me with questions, then by all means, go ahead. Only problem with that is I don’t have to answer any of them. Take your pick.”

Her tone harshened, along with her attitude, “Then perhaps I’d have better luck arresting and interrogating you for the information! Maybe then you’d be more cooperative.”

Had it not been for the threat of her considering me to be a potential national terrorist, I would have laughed, “Cooperative? I’m more than willing to have your question answered; you need only to be patient for that question to be asked. The quicker you answer my question, the quicker you get to have yours answered. Fair enough?”

The Princess’ expression lightened up a bit.

“As for that question, it is a simple one, I’d imagine, for any of you that have those,” I pointed to the horn on her head. “What exactly is magic? I would hope that the answer would be as concise as possible. I’d rather not get into a three hour lecture on the principles and advanced mechanics of something that humans can’t even use, but then, I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.”

The room went silent after I asked my question. I’m not sure whether it was because no one wanted to answer it, or because of what their ruler had just previously said to me.

“Anyone?” I looked around at the rest of the dinner table for a response, “Well, if no one wishes to answer, I suppose I can ask another-”

“Magic,” I was cut off by none other than the Princess’ student, “Is the utilization of mana from the atmosphere, channeled into the body from the central focal point of one’s leyline system.”

Leyline system? Never heard of that before… Granted, my medical knowledge is rather limited. I guess I found my next question. “Thank you,” I replied. “Floor’s yours now, Twilight. Er- table, in this case.”

I got a confused look from everyone sitting at the table.

“What, you don’t have that saying here?” I thought a couple seconds for a way to rephrase my statement, “‘You may assume control,’ would be the best way I could think of to rephrase that.”

Twilight took that as her cue to start asking her question, to which she looked directly at Celestia to speak, “Why did you have guards follow us?”

To say that her question surprised me would be an understatement. I can already make a fairly decent assertion as to why she sent guards after me. Celestia considers me a threat; therefore she wants to keep tabs on me. Understandable; doesn’t mean I like it, but understandable all the same, Twilight just so happened to be with me at the time. Surely she must have figured that out, but her asking that question means there has to be something more going on that I’m not aware of. Did I miss something? Needless to say, I was very curious as to what Celestia’s answer was going to be.

Celestia was apparently just as confused as I was, “Twilight?”

“I’m sorry Princess, but I thought you trusted me! I explained to you that I would be able to handle this by myself. Do you not believe in me?”

I believe that was the first time I’ve ever seen royalty at a loss for words. Twilight Sparkle must mean a lot to her. “Twilight, I-”

“To be fair,” I interrupted, noticing the clear surprise in the Princess’ voice and actions, “If I was to have, say, tried to kill you on our trip in the forest to Tartarus, and there were no guard to stop me, you probably would have died. However, since I didn’t bother trying to do something like that, sending the guard to tailgate us seems rather pointless, doesn’t it?”

“But you would never do something like that!” Apparently somewhere down the line I had earned Twilight’s trust, and I didn’t even realize it. Even so…

I shook my head, “I am glad to find you think that way of me, but you didn’t know that, and neither did she. The Princess made the correct decision regarding your safety, being under the assumption that I was a serial killer.” I gave Celestia a wry smile, and then turned back to Twilight, “And had I been given the same scenario to deal with, I would have done the same.”

Twilight seemed to relax at this, if only just a bit.

I continued, “Of course, that question that you asked seems to still be unanswered,” I turned my gaze upon Celestia, “And I do hope it gets answered soon. It is a good one, after all.”

Celestia gave me a mixed stare, I’m sure one part of it was irritation, but another part seemed to be a bit of… Relief? Oh god, I’m so rusty at this. I guess that’s what happens when you haven’t been a detective in 20 years. “Twilight, of course I trust and believe in you, and I know you can handle yourself. I was merely concerned for your safety, as Hurricane has implied,” she turned towards me, “Perhaps I have judged you too harshly upon your arrival here. Because of this, I had put doubt in my most faithful student as well. I sincerely apologize, Hurricane.”

I smiled, “Don’t bother. Your response was an accurate and expected one,” I leaned in closer to the center of the table and motioned her to join me. She picked up the hint and I whispered into her ear, “Quite honestly, I would have been mad at you if you didn’t do that.”

Celestia leaned back into the small chair only to laugh, “I certainly didn’t expect you to take that so well.

“As I said, had I been given the same scenario, I would have done the exact same thing you did. Now then, I believe it’s your turn, Princess.”

“I believe so, as well,” her tone hardened, “Have you participated in any of those wars, Hurricane?”

This question again… I was considering skipping that question entirely. I don’t like delving into the past events of my life for good reason. With what I had to go through, I doubt anyone would blame me.

“…Yes, I have. Just one. It’s not exactly something I like thinking about, considering I didn’t have a choice as to whether I wanted to participate in it or not.”

The guard sitting next to Celestia looked disgusted after I said that. Even Twilight had a look of uncertainty in her face. Celestia looked very stern, but unsurprised that I said that. There was only one at the table confused by what we were talking about, and he decided to speak up on it.

“I don’t get it. What’s ‘war’?” Spike looked around the table expectantly for an answer.

With a question like that, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

“What? What’s so funny?”

My laughter subsided long enough for me to answer that, “Oh, no, I’m not laughing because of your question, I’m sorry, it’s just,” I couldn’t help but let out a few more chuckles before continuing. “I wish there more people like you on my planet, Spike. More people that didn’t know what war was.”

Spike gave me a concerned look, “Is this ‘war’ thing really that bad?”

I couldn’t help but start thinking about all the friends I’d lost in that war. One of them, decades of friendship lost in an instant. That moment will always be etched into my memory as the worst moment of my life. I was told by the rest of my squad that I wasn’t quite the same after that. They said before, despite the tightest of spots we’d been in, I was always the one still cracking jokes on our communications signal. I, personally, never noticed that. It didn’t really seem like something I’d do. After he died, though, they said I never talked at all. My squad told me they’d try to get my attention and call me for stupid little pranks every here and there when we weren’t fighting but I’d never answer them, let alone join them. Truthfully, everything after his death in the war was a really big blur for me. The only real things I remember about that time were his death, and the first night alone without him. It was the night, I realized, that a piece of me died with him. Whatever little happiness I had in my life going into that war, died with him. I find it hard to believe that the war was already 7 years ago, every time I think about his death it feels as though it was only moments ago. Sometimes I wish I had died with him in that dreadful war of ours…

I managed to keep that smile long enough to answer his question, despite what he got me thinking about. “Truthfully, I think if you go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to that question, Spike, you’d be better off. Also, I fully understand if the lot of you does not trust me anymore after knowing something like that. From what I can gather, what I’ve been through isn’t exactly commonplace around here.”

Mixed stares glanced back and forth between the members of the table before finally looking back at me.

“Perhaps we should end this game,” I suggested, “It appears as though the Princess found out what she needed, and that’s good enough for me, I suppose. What do the rest of you think about it?”

Utter silence.

“…We should keep going.” Twilight finally spoke up amongst the others, “I, for one, would like to learn more from you. I believe it was your turn.”

I remember a time when I used to be that eager to learn. It was back when he was still alive… I shrugged, “Fine by me. What’s this ‘leyline system’ I heard you mention?”

From this quick a response, I would imagine she knows this stuff off the top of her head, “The leyline system is responsible for the controlling of mana flow both in and out of your body. I suppose it’s a bit like the respiratory system, if I had to make a comparison. Did you follow that?”

So that’s how she uses magic. This “leyline system” must direct mana from the surrounding area and then converts it in her body to cast spells that are channeled from that horn of hers. That was also a surprisingly effective analogy. “Yeah, I follow you. The analogy helped a lot, thanks for that.”

“Not a problem!” she smiled, then continued, “Now, may I ask, does your species have technology? If so, how technologically advanced are you?”

“This may or may not be a fair assumption, but from what I’ve seen here, my species is far more technologically advanced than this. Do you have computers?”

“Yes, we do. The top computers in Equestria process at about five megahertz (MHz) per second. Why do you ask?”

“I figured I was going to give a pretty fair contrast of our technological advancements based on computer specifications, but uh, you might not believe me if I tell you average household computer processing speeds as of 2033.”

“Oh, I’m sure it can’t be that much of a difference! What is it at, ten MHz? Twenty?”

“…Try 4 gigahertz (GHz) for the average desktop computer, and roughly 2.5 GHz for mobile devices.”

If Twilight’s jaw wasn’t stuck to her face, it would have definitely been on the floor at this point. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that surprised about something before. This must mean a lot to her.

I waved my hand in front of her face to try to get her attention, “Hey, you alright over there?” No response. She’s really taking this seriously… “Eh, give her a minute or two; I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“The last time she got like this was when she found out Starswirl the Bearded had his own wing in the Canterlot archives dedicated to all his research,” Celestia noted.

“And when exactly did she come back to her senses on that one?”

Spike answered that, “Oh, she must’ve been sitting like that when she found out for at least ten minutes. She’ll be fine.”

Well, that’s a relief. For a minute there I was almost worried.

Spike continued, “So is what you said true?”

“About the processing speed?”

He nodded, “I keep track of that stuff, too, and 5 MHz is a pretty big deal for us. I dunno whether I believe you on that.”

I guess I should prove it to him, which reminds me, I never checked my pockets for their contents, did I? Guess now is as good a time as any to check. I slid my hands into the two front pockets of my pants I was wearing that were covered by my cloak, which I had to move out of the way before I rummaged.

I apparently had my phone, wallet, and set of keys stuffed in my front pockets. It’s both a good and a bad thing that I wasn’t wearing skinny jeans, because there’s no way in hell I could have dealt with my keys stabbing me in the leg every time I took a step. Hate those blasted things. Unfortunately, if I was wearing them I would have noticed I had stuff in my pockets earlier and tried using my cell phone to get any kind of contact with my own species. Of course, even if I did try, it wouldn’t have worked either way, considering their lower standard of technology, lack of telephone poles, and the fact that this is a completely different planet, regardless of what universe it’s in. Pretty sure phone companies don’t provide coverage off-planet.

Anyway, I grabbed my phone and handed it to Spike, “This has 2.5 GHz processing speed. Assuming it still has a charged battery to work off of; you can give it a go. There’s a lock button on the top, just press it and slide the screen with your, uh, claw to the right. You’ll know you’ve done it right when you see a bunch of different pictures you can touch. Don’t worry if you hit the lock button and it doesn’t light up, by the way, it just means that it’s out of power and needs to be charged.”

…Yeah, probably not the best call I’ve made since I arrived here, giving a technologically lacking species that’s barely scratched the surface of technological advancement a Windows phone. Then again, I did feel the need to prove it to him, and chances are they’d reach that point in their technological advancements at some point in the near future anyway, so it didn’t really hurt that much. This planet would just get a huge jumpstart on getting the internet, which I’m actually not sure whether that would help them or not, considering what social media has done to my society. I doubt it would have the exact same impact on them, though, due to their species being so reliant and trusting of each other. Still, a little security wouldn’t be bad, either…

“Oh, and would you happen to mind keeping what you find out on that a secret? I wouldn’t want to culture-shock your society by handing them technology they’re not ready for yet.”

Spike looked up from my phone inquisitively, “Are you worried about that because of how you got here?”

Wait, what? I folded my arms, a bad habit I have when I get annoyed by something or someone, “How the hell did you know about that?”

“Rainbow mentioned it after she came to deliver Twilight’s message about keeping the library in tip-top shape while she was gone. Is that what it is?”

I should have guessed. That idiot needs to stop treating conjecture like it’s fact. I guess I need to be more careful about what I say to her from now on. “That’s a part of it, I suppose, but it’s not the whole reason. I’d be worried regardless of where or when I was from. It is not wise to meddle in the affairs of a society that’s less developed than yours in some way. I showed that to you to prove I wasn’t lying, not to suddenly introduce technology that I know your society isn’t ready for,” I noticed that he managed to get my phone turned on due to the light that illuminated the bottom of his face, “Huh, I’m surprised that thing still even has battery life. Nice job on figuring it out so quickly, by the way.”

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty impressed. Considering he’s probably still used to computers that take up entire rooms and reading the data it processes off of printed paper, he’s taking it very well.

Celestia got our attention, “What do you mean, ‘how you got here’?”

“Well, it’s only conjecture at this point, but I have reason to believe that I am from an alternate version of your planet, and because of that my presence here would be a paradox for your timeline. In theory, whatever I do here would therefore cause permanent damage to your universe due to this fact, so I am rather hesitant to really make much of an impact here, but I see that that can be unavoidable in some cases.”

Celestia flashed a surprised look, “Are you so certain of this? That is quite the claim to make. I heard something similar from the mayor, but she can tend to have a bit of an imagination sometimes, so I assumed she was just exaggerating.”

“As I said, it’s only conjecture, but considering we share many of the same species of plants and animals between our worlds, on top of the language we are speaking it is a distinct possibility. Actually, come to think of it…”

I got up out of my seat over to the window to look at the stars outside. I opened it and poked my head out with my arm so I could trace what constellations I knew from that one astronomy class I took back in my first year of college. I immediately noticed the Orion’s Belt constellation along with the Sagittarius and Polaris stars; whatever doubts I had about me not being from an alternate universe ended right there.

I closed the window and sat back down in my seat, “Yep, definitely alternate universe. I saw the North Star and Orion’s Belt almost immediately. That means that this planet is in roughly the same exact spot as mine in terms of rotation and axis. At the very least, if this still is the same universe, I didn’t go very far from my home planet. I use the term ‘far’ very loosely in this context, of course.”

“What did you mention that device was called?”

“I didn’t, but if you’d like to know, it’s called a ‘cellular phone’. It’s a device used to contact another individual who also has a cellular phone as long as you have reception.”

She gave a confused look, “How can you contact another with a device like that? Do you have this ‘reception’ now?”

I shook my head, “Unfortunately, no, I don’t. I’m a little fuzzy on the details, since this isn’t exactly my area of expertise, but phone reception can be obtained with a specific radio wave that’s broadcasted over a wide area. A phone taps into that radio wave and can transmit your voice to another individual that has a phone, and likewise with whoever you’re talking to. It’s a gross oversimplification, but that’s more or less how it works.”

She gave a nod, as if she understood, “Hmm, I see. Yes, that would be quite the culture shock for us. I, too, would very much appreciate it if this ‘discovery’ of ours was held off from the public eyes and ears until they are ready for it.”

Spike nodded, “My mouth is shut Princess!” He made a zipping-up motion over his mouth with his claw after he said it.

“I’m sorry, what were we talking about?” Twilight had apparently come to her senses during our conversation.

“Welcome back,” I greeted, “Not sure if I should tell you this, but apparently my phone still works so I let Spike use it. We were just agreeing that this information shouldn’t be released to the public eyes and ears.”

“Phone?” She questioned, looking over at Spike to see what I was talking about.

I looked back over at Celestia while those two were discussing my piece of technology, “I suppose this means our little game came to a bit of an abrupt end. But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you just one more question.”

Celestia smiled, “As long as I get to ask you one in return.”

Well played. “Fair enough. From what I understand, your governmental structure is reforming to that of a diarchy, but how exactly have you kept a system of government like this continuing for such an extended period of time? I suppose what I’m really asking is, why has your monarchy been so successful that it continued for a thousand years?”

Celestia seemed confused again, “You mean you do not have such a system of government ruling over your countries? Almost all of our systems of government here are some forms of monarchy. There has only been one country that didn’t have a monarchy, and that was well over one thousand years ago now.”

Wow. I almost don’t believe it. Most of this planet, governed by some form of monarchy spreading over all sorts of different countries… I dread the day my species comes here, if that day ever comes. “Let’s just say that my people aren’t exactly fond of the concept of monarchy, considering there are maybe only a handful of countries left as of 2034 that still use that system of government.”

“Surprising,” she commented, “But in regards to your question, I believe the answer would be ‘trust’.”

“Trust?” I echoed.

“Yes, I have given a reason for my little ponies to trust me in my many years of ruling over them. I cherish that trust with my life, and I’d sooner perish before I let anything happen to them.”

I just sat there, awestruck at what she just told me. Absolutely unbelievable. If her mentality ever changes about that her kingdom is literally fucked. I doubt she’d let it happen easily, but if she were to ever get controlled or even killed, this kingdom would almost definitely fall into ruin. Furthermore, hasn’t her sister been banished for a thousand years for trying to basically rid the planet of life? How can Celestia even trust her after that, let alone welcome her with open arms back into a major position of power in her government? This is why monarchies have been considered outdated for a long time. One person contains too much power and ultimately ends up fucking over their country in some way or another. How she’s managed to even maintain her system of government, let alone keep it running for this long, is far beyond my comprehension.

“…I see,” I finally commented, still trying to get over the fact that her system of government was a ticking time bomb, just waiting to go off at the worst possible time.

“Now, for what I’d like to ask you,” Celestia started, “I believe you have already demonstrated that your species, albeit more violent, is more technologically advanced than us, but I would like to know how well you connect as a whole.”

I gave a confused look and cocked my head sideways to her.

“What I’m asking is, how well does your species make friends?”

Ah, so that’s what she was after. “I can’t speak for my species as a whole when I say this; everyone’s different. Personally, I didn’t end up making that many friends. I only had a few very close ones that I felt I could trust, but they’re… gone, now.”

Celestia smiled, “I see I made the correct choice in leaving you in Twilight’s care. I don’t know why I ever doubted her.” She looked up at the clock and slowly got up out of her seat when she noticed what time it was. “I believe it’s just about time to raise the sun, but before I do; Hurricane?”

Dare I ask? “What?”

“I am officially making this a royal order: you shall be placed under Twilight’s care so that you too may learn some valuable lessons about friendship. It will not be lifted until you make at least as many close friends as you had back at your home.”

I deadpanned. Are you fucking kidding? “What.” I would have protested a lot more than that if I didn’t get so damned tired from nonstop travelling for three days. I could feel the exhaustion start to sink in after she made that order.

“You heard,” she said, still smiling, “Make some friends.”

I really wanted to protest this. I mean, I REALLY wanted to protest this. This, by far, was one of the stupidest requests/demands I had gotten since I was there. Getting rid of an ancient creature that I thought was only myth up until yesterday? Easy. Bringing it back to its home, which just so happened to literally be a form of hell? No problem. Keeping me here in the care of some purple unicorn to learn about making friends? Now you’re just asking the impossible. Seriously, I don’t know what part of the whole “social recluse” character trait they missed in conversing with me, but it should have been pretty obvious. After all, I ditched an entire party of ponies to converse with solely because of the facts that for one, I don’t speak to anyone unless spoken to; and two, I keep conversations incredibly brief and to the point. If I were to make an estimate of how long I spent talking to individuals since I got here, it was probably only about 6 or 7 hours total, and that’s being generous. This is also about double the amount that I spent talking to anyone in the past month that I remember. I’m already out of my comfort zone with that alone; I don’t need some needy ass holes breathing down my neck asking me for stuff every five minutes because we’re “friends.” I swear I’m good at making friends when I want to, really. …I know you’re giving me that look. Don’t give me that look; I’m telling the truth, I’m serious.

“This is astounding!” Twilight changed the topic, “I would never have imagined that a computer could get so advanced! Do you think you could tell me more about this later, Hurricane?”

Still confused over the Celestia’s decree, I just nodded in agreement to Twilight’s request. I could feel my eyelids becoming heavier, making it ever harder to stay awake. I guess I really am getting old if I can’t manage to strain my body like this anymore.

I drearily got up to see Celestia and her guard out with Twilight so that I could see what the whole “Summer Sun Celebration” thing was about, but by the time I made it outside and Twilight closed the door, my body could no longer take the strain of being awake.

The last thing I remember about that night was my vision suddenly going black and the sensation of falling.



> Act VII: Divine Judgment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



I had another strange dream. It was almost the same as the one I had in that forest, with one exception: I heard someone. In that emptiness I was sitting in, I heard the sounds of someone speaking loudly in my direction. I was not quite sure what they were saying, whoever was speaking had their voice muffled. I tried looking for the source in that black void I call an environment but couldn’t find anything. It was far too dark to see.

I like to think, or rather, convince myself that I don’t know what these mean, but I can’t hide from my thoughts. I know what they mean. I know exactly what they mean, and I got dreams exactly like these back when I was younger. It’s so hard to deal with things alone…

I awoke next in what seemed to be a hospital bed. I was almost going to say that I’ve just been in a coma the past week, had it not been for the multiple pictures I noticed around the room containing pictures of a bunch of different colored ponies standing next to a pony in what could be called a lab coat, or something similar. I couldn’t read what was on the pony in the lab coat’s name tag, the pixel resolution was far too terrible to make that out, but I could at least assume that he (or she) was: one, a doctor, obviously; and two, cared about his/her patients enough to actually make sure they were okay after they left the hospital, instead of just mailing a bill to them after they left, regardless of whether they had other complications and sending them on their merry way.

As I finished scanning the room, finding hospital equipment that I’d see in an old 1950’s movie, someone walked in. They wore a white cap with a red cross on it and didn’t really carry anything with them other than a clipboard, so I assumed that this was the nurse.

I could tell it was a female after she spoke to me. Well, it wasn’t really speaking more than it was a very feminine gasp, followed by running out of the room and slamming the door on her way out.

“That seems to be happening to me a lot lately,” I muttered to myself.

A couple minutes later, that pony that I kept seeing in the pictures walked into the room, stethoscope around his neck. I could finally read what was on his tag on the coat he was wearing. “Visionary Mind,” it said.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked, lifting the stethoscope around his neck with magic and bringing it up to my exposed chest.

The coldness of the metal that the stethoscope was made out of sent a jolt through my body. If I wasn’t awake before, I certainly was after that.

“We scanned you and found that your right forehoof didn’t register with our systems.” He continued, “Can you move it?”

I wonder why their MRIs don’t pick up my right arm... How strange. “My right arm is fine.” I gave it a whirl-around a couple of times and stretched it out to prove it to him. “See? Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“How very perplexing,” he noted. “Well it’s good to see you are alright, all the same. You were rushed here all the way from Ponyville on an emergency order from the Princess after passing out, but it looks like it was just from normal exhaustion. Doesn’t seem to be anything else wrong, from what we could gather. Seeing your anatomy was very informative for us, by the way. I appreciate it, despite you not actually giving us permission for it.” He gave a little nervous laugh after he said that.

Damn Celestia, she just rushed it as an emergency to peek at what makes me tick. No doubt to see if there’s anything in particular that she could use against me in the event that I am considered a rogue. Clever. I like that. Wait, from Ponyville?

“So by ‘all the way from Ponyville,’ do you mean that I’m in a different town right now?”

“That you are,” Visionary replied, “As of right now, you are residing in the most prestigious hospital in Canterlot, the ‘Royal Bastion Hospital of Canterlot.’”

I know I passed out and all, but just how long was I out for? Either Ponyville is incredibly close to this nation’s capital, or I’ve been sleeping longer than I thought.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I haven’t introduced myself yet,” Visionary cut off my train of thought. “My name is Visionary Mind, as I’m sure you guessed from my nametag.” He pointed to his nametag with his forehoof after placing the stethoscope back around his neck with his magic.

“Hurricane,” I said back, “As I’m sure you already knew from the patient report that should have been filled out when whoever brought me here signed me in.”

The doctor looked a bit taken aback, “Yes, I did. How did you…?”

I forgot how easy it was to press information out of people. “That process works similarly where I’m from. How long have I been out? Must have been a decent while if that female from before gasped and rushed to get you.”

“Ah! Please excuse her rudeness, she is fairly new here, and as such, isn’t accustomed to dealing with different species. You have been asleep for the past 23 hours. We’re still doing your blood work, trying to figure out if there’s a virus in your system, but it will take some time for us to understand your blood composition, considering we haven’t come across your species before. Might I say that your species seems very fascinating in terms of structure and composition? It’s so very similar to ape’s blood, and yet there are a number of differences that makes you able to speak and feel emotions as we ponies can. Truly remarkable!”

As I recall, Earth wasn’t able to determine sentience in a being with blood work alone. Or at all, for that matter. Either I have been underestimating their technological prowess all this time, or their magical capabilities far exceed our technological standard. “You’re able to determine sentience with blood work alone?”

“In a way, yes. It’s not all done with our current technology, that’s for sure. There is a reason most of the ponies that work in the hospital are unicorns, and being able to magically analyze blood and body structure are some of the many reasons why.” His answer seemed so immediate, it’s almost like he was expecting that question.

“So how exactly do you determine sentience with ‘magically analyzing’ it? Is there some invisible strand in my DNA that’s receptive to magic or something?” I was mostly just guessing based off what I heard, at that point, was yesterday from the little quiz session I had. If this “leyline system” is almost like the respiratory system, carrying mana around through your body like the flow of oxygen in your body, I would imagine some sort of similar cell or chemical would be doing the same thing in said “leyline system.” Much to my surprise, I wasn’t very far off.

He gave me a quizzical look, “You’re fairly close, actually. It is the leyline system itself -that is, the system in the body in charge of directing and managing the mana flow in your body- that causes beings of any shape or size to have sentience. I’m sure you’re familiar with us ponies, but as another example, cows have a leyline system, and are therefore able to communicate and interact with our species in a language that we can understand. As of this point in time, we ponies are still trying to determine what exactly in the leyline system makes a being have sentience, but there hasn’t really been any rush to do so in recent times. I’m sorry; do you know what cows are? I’m afraid I’m not quite certain what all you know about our world yet.”

Astounding, truly. Not only can the cows speak, but the good doctor here seems to have his priorities backwards. “Yes, I am aware of what a cow is. So, since I have sentience that would therefore mean that I have a leyline system?”

“Correct. Although, there were some strange cases documented in the past where beings that had no leyline system in their bodies were still able to communicate with us via crude drawings and bodily motions.” The inside of his coat pocket glowed a faded gray color and a picture was levitated out of it so that he could show me. It seemed as though it was a statue of a wolf made out of trees and sticks. “This is what’s known as a ‘timberwolf,’ they commonly reside in the Everfree forest, and somehow through a series of foreleg movements and scribbling in the dirt below him, he was able to convey his thoughts and feelings to us. Of course the Medical Association of Equestria took a sample of his DNA for studying, but results for determining a specific gene or bacterium that causes sentience in living beings remains inconclusive, currently.”

Just like the Chimera. I guess that means the Chimera and Cerberus can’t use magic… But I can, right? At least, in theory I can, anyway. I wonder if I can get someone to teach me.

Visionary Mind put the picture back into his lab coat and pulled out the clipboard attached to the bedframe I was using. He was flipping through paperwork has he spoke, “Now, as for you, it’s very strange why your right arm does not appear via magical scanning. The rest of your body appears to be in perfect condition, from what we doctors here can gather, but your right arm baffles us. There should not be a reason why the portion of your leyline system that flows mana into your arm is severed from the rest of your body. The only possible way discovered as of yet is if your arm was severed from your body, but since that isn’t the case…”

He trailed off and looked at me expectantly, as if I had a clear cut answer. As it just so happens, I didn’t know a definitive answer at the time, but I am very good at guess work.

“I might have an explanation for that. How much has Celestia told you about what she knows of me?” I need to confirm if he knows about the concept of war or not. I doubt Celestia would have told him, but it doesn’t hurt to check.

He gave me a confused glance, “Just your name and that it was very possible that you’re from another planet. That’s all.”

Then I’ll have to avoid talking directly about the war. I should probably avoid mentioning guns and ammunition, as well. The less destructive weapons introduced here, the better. “Well, long story short I got into a pretty nasty fight with someone, and they managed to poke a hole right here,” I pulled down the right sleeve of the hospital garment that barely managed to cover my chest and pointed to my old war wound. As a matter of fact, it was actually the wound that got me discharged. “It went straight through and out the other side, shattered a part of my shoulder bone, and severed the nerve connection that allowed me to use my arm. It’s very possible, if the nervous system and the leyline system are connected or intertwined in some way, that this wound is the reason my arm doesn’t have functioning leyline nodes.”

Visionary contemplated for a moment, trying to piece together how I got the wound, maybe. It’s a little hard to tell what’s going on that head of his. Then again, I would assume that’s how others think about me with my cloak on, or in general, really.

He finally spoke, “That would make sense up until the point where you still have full control over your arm. I just can’t think of any reason that your body would somehow regenerate the nerve cells in your shoulder and allow you full use of your arm again. Other than that, what you said would have been perfectly fine.”

I didn’t quite have the heart to tell him that I underwent a stem cell operation and had the nerve connectors to my shoulder and right arm regenerated. This was mostly just because of where stem cells are most commonly harvested. I couldn’t very well say “Well, they injected an unborn fetus into my arm and I was A-Okay!” Something told me that wasn’t very appropriate, so I played it off as though I didn’t know how I got back control over my arm and just shrugged.

“Well, I suppose it isn’t that pressing a matter at the moment. I would very much like to know, but if you don’t remember I can’t very well expect an answer. After all, it isn’t exactly wise to look a gift horse in the mouth.” The fuck? Alright, I think these horse puns are starting to get really out of hand on this planet. “If you do remember anything about it, please feel free to tell us. We always have our doors open.”

He levitated the clipboard with him and moved closer to the door, “Now all that’s left to do is finish your blood analysis and you’ll be out of here in no time!” He gave me a bright smile before leaving to go finish his work.

“Seems like a nice guy,” I said aloud, not really to anyone in particular.

One thing I wanted to make sure of is that I didn’t want to lose any more memories about myself or the people I knew in the past, so as a test, I played over the recent events in my head to make sure I had my memory straight about the previous night. Celestia, Twilight, Spike, that guard, and I all finished that game of 20 questions, then Celestia went to raise the sun? I suppose I’ll have to double check that with someone else, but after that it’s blank up until when I woke up a little bit ago. That would mean that I passed out sometime after the game ended but before she went to raise the sun… That sounds incredibly weird to think, actually.

Any more thoughts I had were interrupted by a knock on the door and the nurse from before entering the room.

“Y-you have a v-v-visitor…” she stammered before quickly turning around to bow, then bolting out the door when Celestia walked in.

“How friendly,” I commented jokingly, “Do you think she likes me?” I’ll have you know, I tried VERY hard to stifle the laugh after that comment. VERY hard.

Celestia gave me a cold stare, “I was going to ask if you were alright, but it seems as though that’s no longer necessary.”

…Ouch. “I take it you were the one who admitted me here and filled out the paperwork for it?”

“That’s correct. It was the only way to get you in here.”

“…I appreciate it. I would only imagine that that was a massive pain to go through.”

She seemed taken aback by that comment completely. From the looks of it, it ruined her entire train of thought. “What did you say?”

I just smiled, “Look, I may be rude, cynical, and completely anti-social, but that doesn’t make me an ingrate. I understand the gesture and I appreciate it. Especially considering the mounds of paperwork I’m probably putting you through just so that you could get me admitted here, let alone all the complications from the tests that were done on me, not to mention me even being here in the first place.”

I think Celestia finally lost it. In all the two days I got to speak with her, this is the first time I’ve seen her actually show any real emotion, and that was bursting into laughter.

“You certainly are an interesting one,” she said after catching her breath, “Perhaps my student was correct in putting her trust in you. After all, if you can show this kind of gratitude there may be hope for you yet.”

I gave her a joking, deadpan look, “Ha ha. I’m sure I brighten up your day with my incredibly outgoing and bubbly personality, not to mention my overwhelming mounds of gratitude that I hand out.”

For some strange reason, I found her laughing this much to be incredibly unnerving. The laughter was genuine, sure, but seeing her doing it was rather strange, given her fairly hostile and irritant attitude towards me.

Perhaps she’s laughing this much to win me over now that she doesn’t see me as a threat? …My god, was I always this paranoid? She really is laughing genuinely, and that’s my first thought? I think I’m taking this whole “cautious” thing a little too far around them. Maybe I should tone it down just a bit, if I can. It’ll probably be really hard, though, considering I’m used to dealing with people that were literally out to kill me at one point and then figuratively at another. Oh well, baby steps I guess.

“I am not sure what prompted this change of attitude, but I enjoy it. Had you taken this attitude from the start, I may very well have not been so hostile towards you.”

I rolled my eyes and looked away, giving a knowing smile as if to say, “Yeah, right.”

She noticed and chuckled, “Joking aside, you did give us a bit of a scare. Were you really so exhausted during that little game of yours?”

“Not until close to the end. My body can’t quite handle sudden decreases and shifting of my sleeping schedule as easily as it used to. Honestly, I was expecting to pass out before that party even started.”

Celestia flashed a confused glance, “How aged are you, Hurricane?”

“Early 40s,” I replied, “42, to be exact. Average human lifespan directly after the war was about 65 to late 60s early 70s. Before that, though, it was about 100, getting close to mid-100s. I would think that the war cut off a good ten years of my life, but the way I feel now, it’s almost like I was in my early 30s again with all this exercise and lack of sleep I’m able to keep up with.” It’s funny, I hadn’t noticed it before, but I did have a lot of energy when I came here. I know it’s not from an emotional response, I’m still as stoic as ever when it comes to that, but physically I feel so… unlimited. It really does feel like I’m in my late 20s or early 30s, and I’m not quite sure why. Of course I have some ideas as to why, but there’s no real effective way to prove it.

“So then you would be getting close to the end of your lifespan about now?”

“Oh, what, want me gone already?” I gave her a sly smile.

“Do you take anything seriously?” She got that annoyed tone in her voice again. I guess I’m good at getting that out of her.

I cleared my throat, “Sorry. And yes, I am most likely entering the last years of my life fairly soon.”

“I am sorry to hear that, Hurricane. Well, during your stay here in Canterlot I have prepared a room for you to stay at in Canterlot Castle. The guards will lead your way there when you get inside. While there is much to do here in Canterlot, I would advise to not go into highly crowded areas, lest you cause a panic amongst my citizens. I have made formal awareness of your existence here, but there are no doubt some who do not yet believe me until they see you or some who were not able to hear my speech. That being said, Canterlot Castle, along with its observatories and Archives are made available to you during your time here. You also may not leave the city until the doctors here are finished analyzing what they need to. If they call you here for anything you are to come back here immediately, am I clear?”

House rules, huh? Oh goodie, now I feel like I’m 15 again. “You are.” Doesn’t mean I’m going to obey any of those, though.

“Good,” she replied, “Now then, Doctor Visionary Mind gave the clear for you to be able to leave the hospital after I was done speaking with you. Also, I would like for you to get a tour of the city, and since I can’t do it myself, a familiar face will be waiting for you at the castle. I would advise you wait to talk to her, though. It is just before sunrise, after all.”

It is? Well, if I passed out 23 hours ago it couldn’t have been too close to daybreak by now, so that makes sense. So Twilight’s here, is she? I guess I don’t have a choice but to head back to the castle as my first stop, then. “I see. Also, where exactly did they put my clothes? I’d very much like those back.”

“Ah, those will be returned to you by a nurse after I leave. It’s standard procedure for a pony to get his or her clothes back once they have been cleared to depart. With that said, I bid you farewell, Hurricane. I hope you find your stay in Canterlot to be an enjoyable one.”

She opened the door and was just about to leave until she turned around, “Oh and please don’t cause too much commotion while you’re here. It’s already bad enough that I have the paperwork to file out for your being here, the house in Ponyville that got destroyed, acquiring the deed to said house, and all the medical paperwork. I don’t need any more on top of my duties as Princess.”

I shrugged, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s been nothing but sunshine and rainbows since I got here.”

Celestia gave me a sour look in response.

“Oh relax, I’ll try not to. I should warn you though, trouble tends to find me on more occasions than I’d like.”

“So I’ve seen. Just be careful, please. I would very much rather not have an international crisis on my hooves just for keeping you here until there is a way found for you to return to your home planet.”

「だいじょうぶです。」 (“It’ll be fine.” - formal)

Celestia raised an eyebrow and responded, “だいじょうぶない。(No it won’t. – fairly informal) Don’t think I haven’t kept track of the language of the ancient dragons. I’m not quite sure how you picked it up, but I assume you understand me, and I would urge you to be careful, lest I actually have to keep that threat of throwing you in the dungeon.”

“りかいです。(Understood. - formal) So, where’d you pick up this language? I didn’t exactly expect this to exist here.” Speaking in Japanese with someone else is always a fun experience for me, since it’s not my native language. What intrigued me was where this language came from here and how our little Princess here picked it up.

“I don’t know much, and never really got the chance to practice it with others due to the language dying out some 500 years ago when the dragons started changing their language and eventually swapped to Equish altogether. I picked it up from an old dragon emissary who spoke both Equish and Dragon-tongue. Back in those days, the dragons actually had a kingdom and were ruled by the wise dragon king Bahamut which Equestria was rather close with. After one of Bahamut’s citizens Tiamat defected from the old Dragon Kingdom, he took a large number of followers with him, and they tried to overthrow Bahamut thus starting the Great Dragon War. The war left the entire kingdom desolated and barren, with most of its subjects dead or scattered. The dragons were never quite the same after that; kept to themselves, started hibernating frequently, and with their kingdom in shambles, they needed a great leader to keep them together. Unfortunately, both Bahamut and Tiamat were killed in the war, and with no king, the dragon kingdom stayed scattered. I tried to do what I could to help preserve what dragon life I could find, but most of the hatchers of dragon eggs didn’t really understand what raising a dragon meant, and I couldn’t very well take care of them all myself, so most of the dragons within the last 200-or-so years have been raised rather poorly, with one exception that I have personally seen.”

How interesting. “So I take it that your relations with the Dragon Kingdom went well?”

She nodded, “Yes, they used to. Bahamut was a surprisingly reasonable negotiator, unlike his father. Equestria trading goods and culture with them was a huge boost to not only our economy, but our foreign relations with the rest of the world, as well.”

Understandable. I wouldn’t want to mess with a country that has good relations with a country that quite possibly has some of the best military forces in history, personally. I nodded in understanding, “So what happened with that Dragon War? Why did Tiamat decide to betray his king? Something like that isn’t exactly a decision you make on a whim.”

She looked lost in thought for a bit before answering, “Truth be told, I don’t know all of the details, either. Bahamut didn’t get a chance to leave into hiding to protect his self from the defectors, not that he’d take it anyway. All I heard was that Tiamat betrayed his kingdom because he disagreed with the direction that Bahamut was taking it in. That’s all.”

“When did this all come about? Was it before they tried to reform their language?”

“It was. I’ll never forget the day I heard that news. June 8th, 0344 A.L.B, that’s the day the りゅうやま (Dragon Mountain) was attacked.”

No wonder I hear so much about dragons, but never see them. Can’t say I blame their habits after going through something like that. I know personally what war can do to a man. Not only was their major political building most likely in shambles, they didn’t even have a good leader to take them out of that depression. It’s like imagining America without FDR, it just wouldn’t work. I decided to change the subject, “I take it that ‘one exception’ you mentioned is Spike?”

She smiled, “Yes. Despite all the hardships he’s experienced growing up around a species that wasn’t his own; he’s blossomed into a fine young dragon.” She paused for a moment, “Actually, if it’s not too much trouble, if he’s interested, would you happen to mind teaching him Dragon-tongue? It seems like you’re experienced with the language somehow, and he has been searching for a way to really connect with his species as of late. Learning the language and being able to communicate with an elder dragon would be a very good experience for him. Just a thought, I suppose.”

She stopped for a second, then resumed, “Well, I must be off. It was an interesting conversation with you, Hurricane.”

As she was about to exit the room, I stopped her, “Dragon tome.”

She turned back around, “Excuse me?”

“Dragon tome,” I repeated, “I need some form of literature of ancient dragon if I’m gonna teach him the language. Get me something like that and I’ll teach it to him.” At the time I figured that this would be a really great way to learn more about not only Equestria’s, but the Dragon Kingdom’s history and political relations, and practice my Japanese all at the same time. Getting the literature was mostly just a way to confirm whether or not the written language was structured the same way, having three sets of characters (in Japanese’ case being Hiragana, Katakana, and Kanji) and putting together the characters to produce a series of syllables to be spoken aloud (Roumaji). If it was structured the same way, not only would I be able to teach him everything, but I would also be able to read ancient dragon history and literature, and that definitely excited me.

She smiled again, “As it just so happens, we have a number of books and two tablets in the Canterlot Archives. Will that suffice for you?”

“It should. The whole reason I’m asking is to see whether or not the written form of the language is the same as mine, which considering the size I imagine the dragons can get up to, it’s most likely not. Never hurts to check, though.”

“I don’t understand you.”

What? “Pardon?”

“You. I do not understand you. One minute you’re this cold, calculating, sarcastic maniac, then the next you’re this gentle, helpful soul. I do not know what to make of you for it.”

Well, this is new. She seems legitimately concerned about this, as well. I just smiled, “I guess that makes two of us.”

“See, you being able to say something like that with a straight face, let alone a smile, is what bothers me the most. It’s like you’re keeping up this façade so that you don’t go insane.” By this point her smile had long since faded, being replaced with a frown of concern.

Right here, in this hospital bed, talking with royalty, was one of the very few times out of my first week there I was truly speaking honestly, “It’s because I am insane that I can say that with a smile. Do you really think my country basically forcing me to go out to another land and kill others wouldn’t make me insane?” I paused for a moment, trying to collect the shattered pieces of myself, “I lost my best friend in that war, you know. I had known him since we were both 12, and I had to sit there and watch as he bled out from a bullet wound right in front of me. He died a slow and painful death, and I couldn’t do a single fucking thing to help him."

The look she gave me was one of sheer horror. I don’t think that even all her supposed years of ruling this kingdom and dealing with the world’s problems, she’s never had to experience what I had to on that day. “I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”

“Not many do. You’re the first on this planet to find out. Actually, if you don’t mind, could you keep this a secret from Twilight? The last time I told her about a part of my life, she felt so bad she felt the need to hug me. I’d prefer not to find out how she reacts if she hears about this.”

“I would rather not keep secrets from my student, but I believe that might be for the best for now.” Celestia’s smile returned, “Did you know she considers you a friend? My quiet, studious little bookworm finally managed to come out of her shell and make such great friends, and she truthfully thinks you’re one of them.”

“I have no idea where you’re going with this.”

“What I mean is, this little secret of ours can’t stay one forever. Eventually you’ll have to tell her, and since she considers you a friend it better be sooner than later. I’d hate to see her hurt just because you won’t open up to anypony.”

Great, tell one person your deepest secrets then they want the whole damn world to know. “I was not aware she thought of me that way…”

Celestia gave me a confused glance, “You are surprised to hear that you have friends?”

“The only person I truly called a friend was killed seven years ago, and I never talked much after it, so yeah, that kinda does.”

Celestia just laughed, “You know, for how much you look annoyed when I mention that I made the right decision putting you with my student, you aren’t exactly giving me any reason to have second thoughts. Makes me wonder what you’re really annoyed about…”

Good ol’ Celestia. Always knows how to lighten up the mood. “Personally, I think it’s the hooves. I mean; all my life I’ve always thought, ‘You know what would make my life so much easier? Not having opposable thumbs.’”

Celestia snickered, “What a strange coincidence. I was just thinking the same about magic.”

We both took one look at each other and burst out into laughter. It was the first time in a long time I felt I was truly able to enjoy another’s company.

“In all seriousness, Hurricane, I truly do appreciate all you’ve done for us and I respect all you’re trying to do for yourself. I know, somewhat, what it’s like to lose a loved one like that and it certainly isn’t easy coping with the pain.”

I smiled, “Thanks, Princess. I do hope I won’t disappoint you while I’m here.”

She smiled back, “Oh, please, call me Celestia.”


> Act VIII: Bureaucracy at its Finest ~ Secrets Kept
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



After Celestia left I was delivered my clothes back and they sent me on my merry way. They even cleaned them for me in my time asleep, what a bunch of nice guys. I was also told that my sword, proven by magical scanners to be “just a plain old sword,” was deemed too dangerous to be in the premises of a hospital and was therefore confiscated by the Royal Guard and taken to Canterlot Castle. It didn’t really surprise me that something like that would happen, but it definitely irritated me to know that bureaucracy was annoying no matter what planet you’re on.

Luckily for me, Canterlot Castle was my first stop. I did need to pick someone up, after all. Unfortunately enough, the Royal Guards didn’t really seem to think that letting me in the castle was a good idea. Good for them, they’re catching on.

“State your name and intent,” was all they said to me after blocking my path with halberds.

“Uh…” The urge to make a Who joke is so overwhelming right now, you don’t even know. Oh, fuck it; I’ll indulge myself just this once. Besides, this should be as good a test as any to see how they react to suspicious civilian contact. Well, that or they should recognize me. I would hope Celestia told them to let the incredibly tall ape in the castle. “The Doctor, and fun.”

“Unauthorized personnel may not enter. Kindly vacate the premises.”

How rude. “Not even a confused glance? Oh, you guys are no fun. Look, believe me, I know what being a part of the military feels like and all, but would it kill you two to relax a little? I mean let’s be real here, from the sound of it, your Princess has such a good foreign policy plan that I doubt anyone in the next 3000 years would even bother trying to wage war with her. I guess it kinda helps that you were allied with the Dragon Kingdom, but that’s not the point.”

“Vacate the premises.”

Somehow I think Celestia is more uptight with her military than my country was with us. I rolled my eyes, “Oh, fine. Just don’t blame me in twenty years when you look back at this point in your life and say, ‘Man, my life was so dull.’”

Of course, to make them as irritated as possible for giving me a hard time with entering the castle, all I did to “vacate the premises” was cross the street. Well, that and I figured I should wait for Twilight somewhere close to the castle. Admittedly, I’ve had better ideas.

It took them a full minute to realize that I was still loitering across the street, “Vacate the premises or we will be forced to arrest you!”

“Pfffffft,” I scoffed, “And what? Throw me in the dungeon? You realize that the castle is where I want to go, right?”

“Arrest him!” On that cue, about three different guards started to run towards me, to which I responded by running in the complete opposite direction.

“Ha!” I shouted, “Running with the military, I remember those days… Oh god, I’m running with the military again.” I turned while running so that I could shout at them, “You lot wouldn’t happen to mind not throwing anything at me that makes loud noises, by any chance, would you? My PTSD will kick in, and then none of us will have a good time!”

We must have been running for at least half an hour by the time they actually managed to corner me in an alleyway. “Phew… So, who’s having fun yet?” I hadn’t trained my body for anything like this since the war; so needless to say, I was fairly out of breath. Fortunately for me, my adrenaline started to kick in when I realized I was running from them, so I still had plenty of energy to keep going.

I scanned around for whatever kind of escape tool I could find in that cramped alleyway. The buildings in this city were definitely much bigger than the ones in Ponyville, but nowhere near big enough to compare with that of Tokyo. They were probably more like outskirt Los Angeles size, only closer together. That being said, it would have been very easy for me to scale up the walls using the corners made from the buildings connecting to get up to their slanted roofs.

“Cease and desist!”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” I immediately jumped toward the corner and started to climb my way up using whatever foot holding I could. They couldn’t quite climb their way up, so instead I saw the unicorns that actually made it to that alleyway from all that running start to charge some spells to knock me down. I made it up to the roof before the first one could even fire, and by the time they did I was already making my way to the next roof.

Of course, I did need to make my obligatory joke to the two guards who first started chasing me before I kept running, “That was a nice try, and you may not have gotten me, but hey, look on the bright side. At least you can say that your lives aren’t boring anymore!”

My continued rooftop jumping made it three buildings down before I encountered some pegasai wearing that same golden armor as the guards below.

“You had air reinforcements the entire time and waited until just now to use them? I don’t know who your commander is for dealing with situations like this, but he doesn’t seem to be very competent to me!”

“You take that back!” One of the pegasai screamed while trying to dive bomb me off the rooftops.

I sidestepped to my left closer to the top of the roof while still running, “Ha! I knew you had individuality! So who was the one to call in air reinforcement for you guys? It obviously wasn’t your immediate commander; otherwise he would have called for those fifteen minutes ago.”

“That’s none of your business, criminal scum!”

I instantly laughed upon hearing that phrase. “I like you, kid! What’s your name?”

“My name is Autumn Oath, and it will be the last name you hear, scum!”

“Well, Autumn Oath, I’ll tell you a little secret. If you phrase that whole ‘criminal scum’ thing a little differently, I may just stop running. Why don’t you give it a shot?”

She seemed confused, “Um… Stop right there, criminal scum?”

I burst into laughter. I actually got her to say it. “Oh, alright, alright. You win.” I stopped dead in my tracks right before I was about to jump to another rooftop. “Seriously though, I don’t know which one of your commanding officers called in for air reinforcements, but give that guy a medal. If I had actually been a threat, and I had that much time to move around before your air reinforcements came around, I could have caused a lot of damage to your city or your populace. Most likely both if I had the use of magic.”

“What do you mean, ‘if I had actually been a threat’?”

I rolled my eyes, “See, now this is why I think bureaucracy is, by far, the absolute worst thing to happen to any civilization. You lot been chasing me for, what, 35 minutes now? And you don’t even know why.” I sighed, “Loitering.”

She gave me an irritated expression, “Ugh, seriously?”

“Well, that and resisting arrest, to be fair,” I sighed again. “Celestia’s gonna kill me. The one thing she tells me not to do and I do it. Well, at least it was fun.”

Autumn blinked a few times, “You know the Princess?”

“Yeah, ‘course. Who do you think told me to come to the castle in the first place?”

Her mouth dropped, “You mean we’ve been chasing you around for loitering around the castle that our ground infantry wouldn’t let you into even though Princess Celestia gave you permission?”

I smiled, “Like I said, bureaucracy is stupid. Well, that and I don’t think I ever did tell them I had permission in the first place. Then again, I don’t think they would have listened to me if I had tried the second time.”

“You confuse me.”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing that a lot to people lately.”

“Why would you not just tell them that you had permission from the Princess to enter the castle?”

I gave her a disbelieving stare, “It’s not like she gave me written permission. You can’t seriously be saying all anyone has to do to get into the castle is just say they have permission from the Princess to enter and the guards let them through?”

“Well, it’s a little more complicated than that…”

Alright this is getting ridiculous. I sighed. “All aboard the bureaucratic hype train. Choo choo.”

“I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to, dear. Now come on, we should go down so that I can get arrested.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a quick stay in the castle dungeon, I was granted an audience with Celestia in her throne room. Needless to say, she wasn’t very-

“Absolutely irresponsible!” –happy with me. “I have almost the entire city worried half to death about that strange creature they saw running away from the Royal Guard! This was the only thing I told you not to do! Why did you not just let the guards arrest you to take you in the castle?!”

Her stern, piercing gaze was a little unnerving, but manageable to deal with. “I have had better ideas. Truth be told, I was very curious to see how your guards responded to suspicious conduct. Did you know it took over half an hour before air reinforcements finally managed to cut me off when I started jumping rooftops? I can tell that the order wasn’t even made by same commander, as well. I don’t know who made the call for that, by the way, but whoever that was, he’s brilliant.”

Celestia rolled her eyes and sighed, “If I wanted your help with my security measures, I would have asked. I have half a mind to keep you locked up in the dungeon after pulling a stunt like that!”

Damn you, Steven Moffat for writing such fantastic lines. “If you think that is for the best, then I will not object, Celestia.”

She sighed again, “In light of your help in Ponyville with the Chimera crisis, I will let this slide, once. If I find out you do something like this again, you will stay in the dungeon for however long you’re sentenced. Am I clear?”

I cleared my throat, 「よかいですセェスチアひめ。」  (“Understood, Princess Celestia.” -formal)

Celestia raised an eyebrow, 「ひめ？」 (“Princess?” -neutral)

“It means ‘Princess.’ In that case I used it as an honorific. Would you prefer me to be more formal?”

“You can make that have more formality? Also, you can use titles as honorifics?”

“Yes to both. Well, half yes on the last one. The way I’d make that more formal is to call you ‘ひめさま’ (‘Lord Princess’ –very formal) and there are a number of titles I remember in particular that can be substituted in as honorifics. ‘せんせい’ (Teacher) and ‘かいちょう’ (President) are two that I can remember off the top of my head. There’s probably more I’d know if I saw them. I know there are a few titles where that doesn’t apply, but they don’t come up too often in common conversation, so I rarely use them.”

“You know more about the language than I anticipated. You’ll make a fine teacher, if Spike is willing to learn.”

I doubt that. I have no patience for teaching others. Even so… “I am not so sure about that, but thanks.”

I was just about to turn and leave the throne room before Celestia spoke, “So, half an hour, was it?”

“Half an hour on ground, yes. I was still running on the rooftops for a good five minutes before one of your pegasai guards managed to say the right thing to get me down. Truth be told, I was expecting to get tackled or blasted to the ground within the first five or ten minutes of the chase.”

“I see. And who was it that managed to bring you down from running on the rooftops of Canterlot?”

“Oh, what was her name…? Autumn something… Autumn Oatmeal? No, that doesn’t sound right. I think it was Autumn Oath. Then again, I might just stick to calling her Autumn Oatmeal.”

“Why would you do that?”

“For one, it’ll probably annoy her, which I find amusing. And two, I find the name hilarious.” I let a devilish grin slip after saying the second part.

“Oh my,” Celestia replied sarcastically, “Perhaps you should be left in the dungeon, after all.”

We just looked at each other and smiled, the both of us knowing all too well that the other was joking. I did want to try calling her Autumn Oatmeal at least once, though; just to see how she’d react.

“Getting back to the topic at hoof,” Celestia said, a smile still on her face, “I cannot let that little spectacle of yours go unpunished; therefore you will have extremely limited access to the Canterlot Archives. You may acquire books from the Archives only for the study of Ancient Draconian and very basic Equestrian history. Everything else, until further notice, is inaccessible to you.”

Now that hurts. “You sure know how to make a guy obey the rules around here. Alright, alright, I won’t use it for anything else. You have my word.”

“Glad to hear!” she said a little too enthusiastically for my liking. “As long as we’re clear here, I see no more reason to keep you further. You are dismissed.”

I was just about to enter the doorway to her throne room to find my way out of the castle before she stopped me.

“Oh, and the one who issued the order for aerial reinforcements was the Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining Armor. If you want to give compliments to anyone, it should probably be him.”

I smiled, 「おもしろいだ。」(“How interesting.” -neutral)  With that I turned back toward the door and tried to find my way to Twilight.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wandering around the castle halls almost made me feel like I was in a different town entirely. Truth be told, if it weren’t for the fact that this was called “Canterlot Castle,” I would have definitely thought it was. The entire design and foundation for the castle seemed different compared to the rest of the town. The castle had this strange, ancient European feel and design while the town seemed a little more like modern European, edging on pre-industrial Japan. Not sure who designed either, but they definitely wanted to spoil the Princesses with this castle. The thing was at least double the size of the town. …Well, okay I’m exaggerating a little bit. I know for a fact it was at least a city block worth of space. How this all fit on one side of a mountain, I’ll never know.

After wandering around this massive castle for a good twenty minutes, I managed to find the entrance to the archives. Not what I was looking for first, but with any luck, Twilight’s already here researching something while waiting for me to come by and visit. Why I ever thought that was beyond me; Twilight wouldn’t have known about me waking up, and I’m sure all she would have heard was the great, half-hour chase that the Royal Guard went through earlier in the day.

Speaking of time, as it just so happens, that whole ordeal was over by something like eight o’clock in the morning. Surprisingly fast, considering the chase was half an hour and me going through prison only took an hour and a half. All the rest of the time was before that happened, which was me trying to find my way to the castle from the hospital. Bureaucracy can have its uses; doesn’t change how I feel about it, though.

At any rate, I took a quick look inside the archives to see if Twilight was around. I didn’t see her near the front, but I did find another pony (presumably the librarian) near the entrance.

I approached her, “Pardon, would you happen to know if a pony by the name of Twilight Sparkle has been around here recently?”

The librarian took one look at me and immediately regretted it. She ducked behind the nearby counter out of my point of view.

Honestly. I mean, I know I’m in a completely different planet, and I’m the odd one out here and all, but this is starting to get really old, really fast. It’s like they’ve never seen apes around here before! Maybe I’d be able to research that if Celestia hadn’t restricted my usage of a library. Seriously, who does that?

I noticed she was still hiding from me, so I sighed. “Well, thanks anyway.”

Unfortunately, now’s not the time to be reading in a library. I need to find Twilight in this oversized castle first. Then I can go read half the stuff I want to. I was already in the hall about to walk down before that librarian spoke up.

“A-are you the human that the Princess mentioned?”

“Oh sure, the librarian knows about me, but the guards don’t,” I muttered to myself. I turned back to face her. “I am. Did you want to ask something?”

She slowly crept back up so that her face was showing over the desk. “I, um, I was curious about h-how you walk.”

“Never seen a biped before?”

“N-no, I haven’t. It’s very interesting. H-how do you walk like that?”

I could very well give a smart-ass answer right now… But she seems like she’s nervous enough as is. “Many years of evolution allowed my species to maintain their balance on two legs. Walking on two legs for me is as natural as walking on four legs for you.”

“H-how fascinating. Could you please tell me more about your kind?”

She does seem like a nice girl. Unfortunately, she caught me in the middle of a search, and my half decade of being a detective makes me take those very seriously. “Uh… Rain check. I’m kind of in the middle of looking for someone right now, and I have no idea how long that’s gonna take.”

“O-Oh, I see.” She seemed really disappointed after I said that.

I guess “rain check” doesn’t exist here. I doubt they even have checks in general, for that matter. “Perhaps tomorrow? I’ll be in and out of here a lot the next of couple days, I imagine.”

She immediately perked up, “Oh, that sounds lovely!”

“What’s your name, kid?”

“O-oh, right. It’s, um, it’s Terra Falls.”

“Terra Falls? That sounds like a brilliant name. Well, Terra Falls, I will speak with you tomorrow.”

I turned back around to try and leave toward the residential area of the castle. Problem being I had no idea where that was.

“Oh wait, I lied. Quick question first: where’s the residential rooms in this castle?”

She raised one of her forehooves and pointed to my left.

“Right, thanks for that.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After another TWO GOD FORSAKEN HOURS of searching around the direction Terra pointed in, I finally managed to find the room Twilight was occupying during her stay at the castle. I should have guessed it; her room was all the way up near one of the Canterlot Observatories. I wasn’t surprised that she was there, but I was definitely irritated that I didn’t think of it sooner.

She has to pick the observatory to stay in, of all places. I swear I’m gonna murder the architect of this place if I find him. Who the fuck designs a castle at least the size of a city block, and doesn’t include spots to put a map every here and there? Honestly! I had an easier time finding my way around Tokyo my first time going before I even learned the language than I did trying to make it up to the observatory of this damned castle.

After I was done with my irritated tangent, I knocked on the door to Twilight’s room. To my surprise, she was actually still there.

“Come in!” she called out. “Is that you, Spike? Did you find the books I-”

I walked through the door as she was talking and when she saw me, she immediately rushed over.

“You’re alright!” Twilight rushed over to me and started examining me as I stood, “We were worried!”

“Don’t worry, I’m-”

“Were there any complications?”

“Twilight,” I said a little more sternly, trying to get her attention.

“Did the doctors find anything wrong?”

“Twilight.”

“We had no idea what was wrong, so we had to rush all the way here and-”

“Twilight!” I cut her off, “I’m fine, believe me. It was just exhaustion. I’m not exactly as young as I used to be to do all this adventuring. Running a while I can manage, but going through three days non-stop of avoiding unknown creatures and then escorting what I thought was a mythological being up until recently into a place I also thought was mythological and having to basically run all the way back… I’m rambling; anyway, point is, my adrenaline stopped pumping and I passed out. Simple as that.”

She seemed to calm down a little after that. “Just be careful, alright? We wouldn’t want you being too exhausted for lessons!”

Oh right, those.

“We should start as soon as we can! I’ve been preparing a lesson plan ever since I left the hospital! I can teach you about all the things I’ve learned the past few years living in Ponyville, isn’t that exciting?”

No, not really. But, I don’t want to curb her enthusiasm… I hate my life. “Uh, sure it is…”

Somehow my seething sarcasm went completely unnoticed by her. Well, it was either that or she ignored it. “Great! Come with me up to the observatory, I have everything set up there.”

Grudgingly, I followed her up the next flight of stairs to the Canterlot Observatory. It wouldn’t have even felt like much of an observatory had it not been for the massive telescope in the middle of the room. All the walls were adorned with rows of bookshelves; there were also some tables in the middle of the room to read and work off of. Admittedly, I thought that if this was where the lessons were going to take place, they wouldn’t be nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be. Never in a million years would I tell Celestia that, though.

“This place actually used to be my old room back when I used to live here. It got converted into a second observatory when I left, but the Princess kept the bedroom nearby so if I ever need to come back here for anything, I’d have a place to stay.”

Alright, now I’m a little jealous. This place has a fantastic view. “That was nice of her. A home away from home, huh?”

“Yep!” Twilight smiled. “Now, about those lessons…”

I would have groaned had I been sure that it wouldn’t hurt Twilight’s feelings.

“I’ve structured the lessons that we have a session once a week for a couple hours. During the days we don’t have sessions together, I expect you to be as proactive with learning about friendship as I was.”

“Meaning…?”

“Friendship reports!”

Good god, kill me now. I envy you, my friend. Only the dead may know peace from this evil.

“…Is it too early to quit?” I finally muttered.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun! Besides, the Princess decreed that these lessons take place until she sees that you’ve made an adequate number of friends. I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to, which I don’t! I just know this will be a great experience for you!”

I just rolled my eyes. Teaching myself Japanese, living in Japan for a couple years, and learning basic Kendo from a real Japanese sword master was a great experience. Being a detective for five years was a great experience. Graduating college at the same time as my friend and the both of us going out to celebrate was a great experience. This is high school torture at best. …She does seem really into this, though. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but I guess it’s worth a shot.

“Now, the first thing one should know about friendship is… What? Can you tell me?”

Not even two minutes into the class and I’m already getting questioned. What is this, an inquisition?

“Uh…” I just shrugged. Like I’d have any clue what the first thing to know about this sort of thing is. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more clueless about a class before. Theoretical physics? Not even a sweat. This? “I’m going to rip all the hair off my head” level of frustration.

“It’s yourself.” She answered, “I learned that once I was comfortable with myself I was able to be more comfortable with the ponies around me. The more comfortable you are around others, the more likely you’ll make friends with them! Pretty simple, right?”

“Except for the fact that I’m more than comfortable communicating with others. I’m not that much of an introvert, Twilight.”

“Maybe, but I did notice that you’re not quite as comfortable with yourself as should be. You only speak unless spoken to first, and you make no effort to actively seek conversation with others. Don’t think I didn’t hear about you slipping away from your own party and away from almost all the town just to come to the library.” She gave a bit of an irritated smile after the last part.

Shit, she actually heard about that? A nervous laugh came from me in response.

“Well, since you don’t have a problem talking to others, surely you have friends back on your world, right? How did they become your friends?”

I believe “had” in more ways than one would be the more appropriate word choice here. “I met most of them when I was still really young. One friend in particular I met when I was 12.”

“And?” She pushed, “How did you become friends with them?”

How the hell should I know? That was 30 years ago. “How should I know? That was back when I was young and naïve. I did not yet have an understanding of those around me.”

“And what changed when you got that understanding? Your empathy?”

I folded my arms, “I don’t know, yeah, I guess? Being forced to participate in a war and having glaring PTSD issues as a lasting result from it kinda does that to a guy.” I was lying, of course. I mean, I did have PTSD, but that wasn’t the reason I was so adamant about not having social interactions with others. Let’s be real here, when the hell would PTSD kick in during a normal conversation with someone? Almost never, depending on where you go, right? I would think that the only time I would have even come close to having a PTSD-induced psychological breakdown would be next to an airport or something close to that. And, of course, at the time I thought, she doesn’t need to know that.

“PTSD?”

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You get it when you go through something horrible that leaves a lasting impression on your psyche. In my case, it was… the war.” I was about to start describing the war to her before I realized what planet I was on. This country hasn’t even heard of war, let alone participate in it in well over five to 600 years; Twilight hearing stuff about people getting their limbs ripped apart by explosions right in front of you would probably make her puke, or worse. I mean, look what it did to me.

“Well, that should be more of a reason to be able to go out and make friends!”

Is she even hearing herself? “Easy for you to say. You haven’t been through a war. Do you honestly not think you’re being just the slightest bit inconsiderate about this?” How ironic, coming from the man who’s been rude to everyone here at least once already.

She thought for a moment, “Then how would you prefer to learn? I thought that you would have rejected a hooves-on approach right from the start; would you prefer that instead?”

“…Or you could just slow down the lesson a bit. You forget that I’m not exactly as gifted at this as I hear you are.”

“Alright, I can do that,” she smiled again. She’s been doing that a lot lately. “Then, I think I’ll start with how to engage with meaningful conversation with others.”

After a grueling hour and a half of her lecture explaining all the intricacies of how to speak with others and how you’d be able to tell whether or not someone liked you, she finally finished. Not to say that she was a bad teacher, of course; she was a fantastic one. Went into great detail about everything, I learned a lot from that lecture because of it. The problem was, I found that the subject matter bored me to death. Had it not been for the fact that I had to go through those lectures until I made “friends,” I would have disregarded and ignored the lecture entirely. Damn Celestia and her rules.

“So, do you have any questions?” Twilight concluded.

“That was a pretty thorough lecture you gave, so no, not really.”

“Great! You’ll be quizzed on it next time!”

I refrained from slamming my head against the desk I was too tall for and just opted to roll my eyes instead. By far, the worst thing I could have imagined to go through while being here. I’m almost disappointed that I didn’t get thrown in jail… Then again, Celestia probably would have just continued the lessons from a jail cell anyway.

Twilight frowned, “I don’t know why you’re so stubborn about learning about friendship. It’s not even bad!”

Spike had apparently walked into the observatory mid-lecture without me noticing, and had a smug look on his face, “Hey, that isn’t fair, Twilight. I recall you thinking making friends was a waste of time.”

I think Twilight blushed, but I couldn’t quite be sure. With her face having a different shade of purple, I assumed that it was a blush.

“Spike!” She regained her composure, “Did you get those books I asked for?”

“Yep!” He nodded enthusiastically, “All right here.” He pointed to the stack of books he left on the table across from us.

“Thanks, Spike,” she looked at the only clock in the observatory, “Wow, that went by quicker than I expected.”

Oh good, that makes one of us.

“Well, I think we both have some spare time now. Did you want to see the town? Princess Celestia gave a formal speech yesterday about your arrival here, so I think ponies might stare at you less when we walk around town.”

“Er…” Might not be the best idea with the stunt I pulled earlier. “Could we hold off on that for now? Actually, I’d really like to do some research about your nation’s history. Oh, and anything you have about dragons, too. Preferably in their language.”

Spike spoke up again, “You want to learn about dragons?”

“What do you mean by ‘in their language’?” Twilight asked. They were both reasonably confused.

I pointed to Spike, “First off, yes, of course I want to learn about different species,” I swapped my gaze to Twilight. “And two, I can apparently speak Ancient Draconian. Not that the skill just suddenly emerged, of course. I learned the language over a decade ago; it’s just called something different where I’m from.”

I swear, if their eyes lit up any brighter, I’d need sunglasses.

“Really?!” Spike was the first one to speak up, “Can you say something?”

「もちろん。きぼうのせかいわ神聖な。」(“Of course. The hope of the world is sacred.” –borderline informal)

Spike just stood there dumbfounded while Twilight continued to ask questions.

“So, what did that mean?”

“Roughly, ‘Of course I will. The hope of the world is important.’” I thought for a minute. “Oh wait; I said ‘神聖な.’ That means sacred, not important.”

“That’s astounding that you know such an ancient language! How did you manage to learn it?”

“Uh… I’m not really sure how to answer that question. I just devoted my free time to learning it for a little while then lived in the country where it originated for a few years to help solidify the knowledge a bit. The language is still used fairly frequently where I’m from, so that kind of helps out with learning.”

“Saying that I’m impressed would be a huge understatement. This is revolutionary! We’ll finally get to know more about dragons!” Twilight was ecstatic about this.

“How much do ponies know about dragons anyway? I never did find that out.”

She looked a bit disappointed for a moment, “Next to nothing. Only that they can hibernate for up to 100 years and that once around every 150 years or so they go on a group migration.” She gave me a huge smile, “But now we can finally know more! Oh, I’m going to request everything with Draconian from the Canterlot Archives!”

What about the knowledge of their kingdom? “What about something like a Dragon Kingdom? Surely they must have had some form of government.”

“That’ll be the day. We don’t know if they did,” Spike had snapped out of his trance-like state.  “Most ponies only know that dragons can breathe fire so they should stay away from them.”

What? Did she lie about the Dragon Kingdom then? “Twilight, do you need to go downstairs to request for pieces of Draconian literature?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, I do.”

“Good, then take me with you.” I’ll give that princess a piece of my mind if it’s the last thing I do.

“I don’t see why not, sure,” she levitated Spike onto her back, “Come on, Spike, let’s go get those books!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We made our way to the foyer of the castle on our way to the Archives before I stopped, looking to go to the throne room, thinking Celestia would be there. I remember the way to the throne room from here, so this is where we’ll part ways.

“You two go on ahead, I need to take care of something first. It shouldn’t take long.”

Twilight turned to Spike questioningly for him to shrug, “Well, alright. The archives are past this upcoming wing. Just make a right at the end of the wing, you can’t miss it.”

“Thanks,” I stormed off towards the throne room. I was trying to think why Celestia would hide something as huge as a kingdom away from the populace, to no avail. Why the hell would she do that? It couldn’t be because of that war, could it? I know Spike doesn’t know the concept of it, but Twilight seemed to understand when I mentioned it two nights ago. I need to question her.

I made it to the throne room door to be stopped by the two guards in front of it.

“Halt! State your name and intent!” The one on the right commanded.

I just rolled my eyes in frustration. Not this shit again. “Hurricane, and I’m speaking with the Princess.”

“We have not been informed of this visit,” the one on the left stated, “Vacate the premises!”

If I wasn’t angry before this, I certainly was now. “I don’t think you understand. I’m going to speak with Celestia; that wasn’t a request.”

I charged the door and kicked it open for them to tackle me to the ground after I made it in. Had I been a Jihadist, the guards would have failed miserably to do their job correctly. Again.

“Ah, Hurricane, I didn’t expect you back so soon.” Celestia looked up from the paper she was reading, “Please release him.”

Both the guards nodded and got off me. They calmly walked back to their posts and shut the throne room door.

She smiled at me, “So what did you wish to speak with me about? I assume you have already finished your lesson with Twilight?”

I got up and brushed my clothes back to their original alignment. “First off, bureaucracy, really?”

Celestia chuckled, “I find it helps the Guard run smoothly and efficiently, so yes, ‘really’.”

Yeah, so efficiently that it took over half an hour to stop a chase on foot. “Second, did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

She raised an eyebrow at me, “Excuse me?”

Oh, we want to play this game, now do we? “Really? Dragon Kingdom.”

Celestia’s face became sterner. “Guards would you please excuse us for a moment? I wish to speak with Hurricane in private.”

The other four guards in the room looked at each other questioningly, and then slowly left the room. I guess that was their first time dealing with something like that. I didn’t notice it at the time, though. I believe I was, shall I say, “a little preoccupied with other things” at the time?

“So, what, do you always go around telling multiversal travelers about kingdoms that don’t actually exist? Or am I not the one you’re lying to?”

Celestia stared at me, “I believe you already know the reason why I do not mention the Dragon Kingdom to my little ponies. Surely you figured that out by now.”

“What, seriously? You mean that war?”

She didn’t say anything back, just kept staring at me.

“You have got to be kidding me. You would deny an entire nation their historic right over one mistake? A mistake that, to my understanding, wasn’t even the government’s fault?”

“If the concept of war spreads, so too does the action. It is beneficial for the entire world if that concept is kept secret.”

I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I started laughing, some might say maniacally. “I knew this whole ‘benevolent ruler’ act was too good to be true. Doing something like that is so fundamentally broken with the decisions you’ve made, it’s a wonder how that’s even managed to work for the last 600 years.”

“How so?”

The look I gave her must have been filled with almost every negative emotion mankind is capable of expressing. “You’re an idiot. I honestly can’t believe that you rule this land right now,” I gave a heavy sigh of frustration. “Warfare is a natural part of having a government. After all, that’s why you have a military. Do you honestly expect to hide the concept of war from your citizens and NOT have them question the fact that there’s a military? What do you tell them about the military? For that matter, what the hell do you tell the military recruits?”

Celestia’s face turned into a scowl. “You would be wise to not insult me. My patience with you is already wearing thin. I do what I believe is best for my kingdom, and I do not have to answer to you.”

The wise decision here would be to back off, take a different approach to this problem, and slowly fix her broken-ass government without being too harsh and without causing much suspicion. I’m not a very wise man.

“Oh, that’s real cute. I wonder where you got that from. Well, fine. If you don’t want to answer those, then I’ll just tell you: you can’t make your problems go away by just pretending they’re not there. Believe me, I’ve tried. Eventually someone is going to find out that you’ve been keeping secrets, and don’t come crying to me when they try to overthrow you, because the only thing I’ll say about it is, ‘I told you so’.”

I was absolutely fed up at this point. How anyone could do something so outrageously stupid like this was well beyond my level of comprehension. We’re talking above Pinkie Pie levels of stupidity here. It was a different form of stupidity, granted, but at this point, I didn’t really care about semantics. The only thing I cared about was getting away from her.

I stormed to the throne room door, about to go all the way to the library and read whatever the hell I wanted before I realized there was one more question that I felt the need to ask.

Immediately upon asking this question, I very sorely regretted it.

“Any other kingdoms you’ve been hiding that I should know about? Because chances are, if you don’t mention them, the dragons will.”

If I didn’t know any better, I would have said that Celestia’s face now looked very calm, and docile. Despite this, I could still very easily make out the seething anger leaking from her look at me. It also felt like the room got a few degrees warmer.

“I would advise you leave, NOW. If you enter this throne room unannounced again, I shall not stop the guards from escorting you to the dungeon.”

Oh my god, she is. She actually is hiding another kingdom. Despite the whole technology issue, I was really considering helping their kingdom out of some of the fatal flaws that plagued my society back home. Now, however…

“Fine by me. There’s nothing more I wanted to talk with you about anyway.” After that was said and done, I continued my rampage of negative thoughts all the way down to the Archives, which I almost forgot the location of due to said rampage.

By the time I got there, I saw Twilight with a checklist and a stack of oversized books at least the length of my arm, and that made it look like the table they were sitting on would collapse at any minute. There were two tablets leaning against a couple of chairs next to the desk, and Spike was struggling to carry a book to the pile.

I went over to help Spike with the book by scooping it out of his arms. This thing must weigh at least 40 pounds. I guess I should have expected as much with dragon literature. How he managed to carry it this far, I’ll never know.

“Phew,” the dragon gave a sigh of relief, “Thanks for that.”

“Don’t mention it.” I walked the book over to the rest of the stack and placed it on the side of the table that wasn’t being weighed down so that I wouldn’t break it. Seeing all the material they had actually surprised me a bit. I was expecting maybe a tablet or two with not much information, but apparently their Archives have enough to hopefully piece together what I can of the Dragon Kingdom. With any luck, the vast majority of these will be about their history, and not just useless information.

Twilight looked up from her overly long checklist when I set the book down on the table next to her. “Oh, you’re back! That really didn’t take too long. What did you need to do?”

I probably shouldn’t tell her that I just spent the last few minutes arguing with her mentor. “I just needed to talk with someone before I came down; figured it wouldn’t take that long.”

Twilight gave me a skeptical look, “Are you alright? You seem frustrated…”

“I’m fine,” I lied, “Trying to find your way around this castle is a pain.”

She giggled. “I remember my first time, too. I got lost for twenty minutes trying to find the training hall. Well, now that you’re here, let’s get to translating! There are still a few more books that Spike and I haven’t pulled yet, but this is just about all we have on dragons.” She motioned to the stack of books that looked like they were going to break the table. Unfortunately, due to the size and weight of these books, it didn’t take very many of them to nearly overload the table’s weight capacity. There were maybe only six or seven books on the table; along with the two tablets sitting next to the chairs, it didn’t feel like it amounted to much.

Even though the number of books didn’t really impress me, the concept of being able to learn something new that interested me definitely calmed me down. If anything, that strange part of me is the only reason I’ve been able to keep my sanity around this planet. I was actually very excited about translating this massive stack of books, even if I didn’t show it.

Might as well start with the tablets, seeing as they’re probably the oldest. I walked over to the first tablet I passed on my way to set the book down and started examining it. The stone slab had a very peculiar picture of a fully-grown dragon seemingly being engulfed by some sort of flame. I first thought this was some type of doomsday prophecy tablet until I actually started reading the passage that was written in Hiragana.

I chuckled a bit, “Well, I guess that answers my question on whether they use the same writing system or not.”

This, of course, got both Spike and Twilight’s attention. “What does it say?!” they yelled in unison.

“Don’t tell us you can’t read it,” Spike said, disappointed.

“Hm? Oh, no, I can read it. It’s a type of proverb, I think. Either that or propaganda. 「こころのつよさわさいきょうのちからである」.”

Spike rolled his eyes, “Equish, please?”

I assume that means this language. “Oh, right. Sorry, I keep forgetting. ‘The strength of the heart is the strongest power.’ That’s what this one reads.”

I moved a few steps to my left to get a good look at what the next tablet read. This one had strange pictures that I couldn’t quite make out what they were until I had enough translated. When I first started to translate, I came across a phrase in Hiragana I wasn’t quite familiar with until I sounded it out.

“Hmm… ちんぽ?  What does that-” I immediately stopped when I remembered what ちんぽ meant, and then all the phallic imagery suddenly made sense. “Oh my.” Upon realizing what the tablet was telling me, I quickly turned it around so that Twilight and Spike couldn’t see it.

“What? What did it say?” Twilight asked. She tilted her head slightly with a confused look on her face.

“Uh… I’d really rather not.” I kept it short, hoping in vain that they wouldn’t ask about it again.

Twilight pulled me down to whisper in my ear, “Is it appropriate enough for Spike to hear?”

“That depends, how old is he? I never asked,” I whispered back.

“He’s twelve this year, a little over ten years younger than me.”

Spike interrupted us, “Can you two stop whispering and tell me what’s on the tablet, already?” He was noticeably irritated. I can’t say I blame him, personally. I hate being out of the loop on things myself, but I really didn’t think that particular translation was very age-appropriate for a 12-year-old.

I reached over to the stack of paper that Twilight was keeping on the desk and the quill and ink she had next to it. I hadn’t written with a quill before, so my handwriting was pretty sloppy, but legible at the very least. I quickly jotted a translation of the tablet to Twilight and handed it to her.

“This is what it says,” I said, still whispering to her.

She levitated the note closer to her face so that she could read it, and immediately blushed upon finishing it. “Oh-oh my. Uh, Spike, I don’t think-”

I cut her off, “It’s a part to an incredibly mushy romance novel, and I’m sure it would bore you to tears.” Truth be told, I didn’t expect this to work at all. I knew he was twelve and all, and they tend to fall for a lot of stupid shit, but I honestly thought he wasn’t going to fall for it.

“Bleugh, romance novel? No thanks. I think I get enough information about those from all the ones Twilight reads. Tell me when you find something more interesting.” He actually did. What.

“Spike!” Twilight was understandably embarrassed from Spike’s comment, but by the time she called his name, he was long gone.

She turned toward me, “Thanks for that. I really didn’t want to have to tell him that I didn’t think he was old enough to hear what it said.”

“I figured you might not. Don’t worry about it.”

Twilight smiled, “Thank you.” Her face quickly grew a confused glance, “How did you know that Spike wasn’t interested in romance novels?”

I just laughed, “He’s twelve. All 12-year-olds hate mushy romance novels. Pretty sure that’s some kind of universal constant.”

She giggled, “I suppose that’s true enough. I should get going, though. I made plans to meet up with the Princess and my brother while I was here. I would invite you to come along, but I’m not really sure how my family would react to seeing you show up unannounced, especially after the Changeling invasion.”

I would ask about the clearly more interesting Changeling invasion, but I think there might not be enough time for her to answer completely. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll find out sooner or later. “You have a brother?”

“Yeah, you probably haven’t met him yet. His name is Shining Armor.”

I laughed again, “Ha! Tell him I think he’s brilliant.” So her brother is the captain of the Royal Guard, is he? I’m sure we’ll meet in the near future.

“Uh… okay?” Twilight was about to walk off before she apparently realized something. I think I could make out a small blush on her face before she spoke, “Um, would you mind not telling anypony about… y’know…”

It took me a second to figure out what she meant. Oh! She must mean those romance novels. I shrugged, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

It took her a second, but she smiled, a bit of a blush still on her face, “Th-Thanks. Spike, come on! We gotta get going!” I guess the rules of the library don’t exactly apply in the Archives. I would imagine not many actually get to be here for them to even have those rules. Maybe I’ll ask about that when she comes back.

Spike rushed over. “Is it time to go already?”

Twilight nodded, “Let’s get going, we don’t want to be late.”

Spike jumped up on Twilight’s back as they made their way toward the exit of the archives. “We’ll be back before you know it!” Twilight said.

I just nodded in response. Finally! I finally get to learn about this planet’s history without interruptions.

When they left I turned my full attention to the stack of books that was just about ready to break through the table. As I opened the first book on the stack, a strange feeling overwhelmed me. It was the same kind of feeling I got back when I was having fun with my friend, when it seemed like we had come to real understanding of each other. I felt like, for the first time in seven years, I could actually call someone a “friend.” Truth be told, it frightened me.



> Act IX: Lament
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------




As the hours passed, I delved further and further into the stack of books Twilight and Spike left for me. Out of the seven books (nine including the couple that they didn’t retrieve yet) and two tablets that Equestria has on the dragon species, I read both the tablets and two of the books before the sun started to go down. This, for the most part, took so long due to my extensive translation notes of things I found important as I was reading. It also helped me learn the material better, so I certainly wasn’t complaining.

By the time I had finished the second book, I had used three-fourths of the paper that Twilight left on the desk, I presume to help me take notes (how did she know I liked taking notes?). I had to use the ink very sparingly on the last twenty-or-so pages of notes, as well. I would have lost track of the amount of pages of notes after around 100 if I didn’t keep them numbered and organized. While I won’t go into the entirety of the 137 pages of notes, I will summarize the first two books as best I can in this small little journal of mine.

The first book I picked up, ironically enough, was a mushy romance novel. The title of the book translated, roughly, to “Fiery Desire,” and it detailed the lives of two dragons that fell madly in love, but their parents (in the case of the female dragon, her guardian) didn’t approve of their relationship in some way or another. The last half of the book was them trying to get their relationship to work despite the disapproval of their respective caretakers, but, surprisingly enough, they come to the conclusion that they could never be together, and break up before the last few chapters. The last few were them saying their goodbyes, and lamenting on their failed relationship. Admittedly, I thought the book was very enjoyable. It’s no Xenogears, but it was still pretty good. It didn’t particularly have a very great set of supporting characters either, but otherwise I thought the book was very real in its portrayal of relationships.

The next book that I actually got to finish that day was exactly what I was looking to find: a history book. Well, it was actually more like an economics book with history thrown in just for context. It contained a brief history on the Dragon Kingdom’s international relations and, of course, an extensive look into their economy. Just as Celestia said, the dragons were very closely tied to Equestria as allies, and as such, Equestria managed to stay safe from the eyes of the previous world powers. These included a kingdom of “eagle-equines,” (I would assume those to be some form of griffon, if I have my mythology right) the dragons, and a strange race of sea serpents that ruled the underwater areas. This author didn’t mention what these beings were called, or what exact influence they had; he (or she) only referred to them as いとこのうみ (Cousins of the Sea). I can only assume that they were a race of sea serpents, or something of the like, since he kept referring to them this way. The last power was this one country, an Empire, that didn’t really translate well because of this writer’s word choice. This empire was one of the leading forces of the global economy at the time, right next to the Dragon Kingdom, and the literal translation I could make out (assuming I was reading it right, of course) was the “Soul-stone Empire.” Not really sure what it was supposed to be translated as yet, but from what I could tell, the Dragon Kingdom relied on them very heavily for food and resources. This empire was comprised of these “Soul-stone Equines,” and they were very generous with how much of their resources they shared with the dragons. I would assume this is the other kingdom Celestia likes to keep secret.

The last two chapters of the second book detailed the Soul-stone Empire’s betrayal of the Dragon Kingdom. This empire had a change of management quite some time ago, and the new ruler, they called him あくま (Demon), apparently killed the previous empress, プラチナIII (Platinum? III). This new Demon-Emperor somehow managed to poison the entire supply of resources being given to the Dragon Kingdom without anyone realizing before it was too late, and the Kingdom suffered a great number of casualties because of it. Apparently, dragons eat these “soul-stone” things, and finding an entire empire where almost everything is made of the stuff obviously made them giddy. As such, they ended up trusting the shipments too much, and honestly, I can’t say I blame them. Having a kingdom made up of a species that, I assume, can reach the length of a modern-day spacecraft in size makes it too hard to live off resources from their country’s land alone. This Demon was smart; he forced the Dragon Kingdom’s hand into taking a tainted supply of soul-stones, and crippled them  to, presumably, gain more political and economic power as one of the few leading governments of the time. I know it’s wrong, but I just have to admire the Kefka-levels of genius this guy threw out to bring an entire nation to its knees. I, of course, didn’t include the Kefka remark in my translation notes, even though I wanted to. Kefka is one of the greatest villains of all time, don’t judge me.

Aside from those noteworthy passages, most of the rest of the book was the intricacies of the Dragon Kingdom’s internal economy at the time, and the economic figures to prove those points. That being said, a lot of it flew over my head, and required me to do a full translation of literally entire chapters of the book instead of just footnotes or quick summaries, so I ended up using a lot more paper than I initially intended to.

I stretched my arms above my head after I finished the second book. Halfway through translating the history book, I could feel them getting stiffer every time I stopped to make sure I was reading something correctly. I looked outside and noticed that the sun was very close to setting. Must’ve been at this for like six hours.

I got up from the chair I was using, figuring I needed to stretch my legs if I was going to continue, which I planned to. Apparently Twilight had managed to find a chair that was at least close to my size, and while it was still a little small for me, it was certainly better than sitting at the dinner table two nights ago. Thoughts from that night resurfaced into my consciousness and that strange feeling welled up inside me again. I didn’t like it. For one, I hate getting distracted by something when I have my mind set on what I’ve been doing; and two, I thought that there was no way these… ponies and I could ever be friends. The mere concept seemed ridiculous to me. Even if I wanted to, we being friends wouldn’t work out anyway. I don’t belong here, and eventually I have to leave, whether I like it or not.

That thought seemed to quell the emotion somewhat, and I was able to keep my focus… right up until Twilight came storming in with Spike on her back.

“You and I need to talk,” was the first thing she said walking in to the Archives, a clear look of anger in her eyes. Even Spike seemed to have a look of displeasure.

I have a feeling I know exactly what this is about. “Alright. Talk away.”

Twilight looked over to Spike on her back, motioning for him to get off. He got the hint and took off, leaving the Archives entirely.

Once he was (presumably) out of earshot, she started, “What were you thinking?! You were lucky that the Princess let the arrest slide, and then you argue with her the same day!”

Yeah, I expected this sooner or later. I honestly don’t know why she cares so much. I shrugged, “The argument would have happened regardless of my arrest.”

She was positively furious after that comment, and I swear I could see her hair on fire for a second, “WHAT?! Why would you argue with Princess Celestia?!”

I got the feeling that these were rhetorical questions, but I replied to them anyway, “Did she tell you what the argument was about?”

“No! Why would she?”

I sighed, “See, that’s the whole reason we had the argument to begin with.” I started digging through my translation notes to get the first page I wrote about the Dragon Kingdom on while she continued speaking.

“That still shouldn’t mean that you barge into her throne room unannounced just to argue with her!”

I found the page I was looking for and held it to her, “Read this.”

Twilight glanced over the paper with my scribbled notes and once she distinguished what they said, she finally asked, “The dragons had a kingdom? While this is great news, this doesn’t explain your irresponsible behavior!”

I folded my arms as I rolled my eyes, “Who do you think told me that I could speak Ancient Draconian?”

Twilight looked taken aback by my question. She stood there, deep in thought about it for a little while before I finally answered the question for her.

“It was Celestia. She visited me in the hospital when it was still dark this morning; told me about their kingdom and a few other things. If you want the details, you should just ask her.” Why do I even bother covering for Celestia? I guess this is to help prove a point, sure. I want Twilight to know that her Princess is keeping secrets from her, but if I really wanted her on my side with this, I would just tell her everything I know. Then why can I not bring myself to do it? …And there goes my focus.

“Then what about the arrest?” The still-annoyed Twilight broke my train of thought, “My brother told me that you spent 30 minutes running away from the Guard this morning!”

“35, actually.” The king of best decisions, right here.

“Hurricane!”

I cleared my throat, “Alright, alright. That one was an honest mistake, I swear.”

She gave me a quizzical look, waiting for me to continue.

“I didn’t realize your military ran on such a tight bureaucracy, otherwise I would have just told them who I was right from the start.”

Now she just seemed more confused than angry, “Why wouldn’t you tell them who you were from the start?”

“Look, if you give me an opportunity to make a Doctor Who joke, I’m going to take it.”

“Doctor Who?”

I smirked, “Actually, it’s just ‘The Doctor.’”

Twilight stood there, bewildered by my words for a minute. I’m actually not exaggerating, it was a full minute.

“To be fair, I also thought that Celestia would have told the guards to let the giant ape roaming around town into the castle if they saw me. By the way, did you tell your brother I think he’s fantastic?”

“You told me to tell him he was ‘brilliant.’”

“So you told him, then?”

She sighed. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard her sigh. “Yes, of course. That was what brought up the arrest in the first place. Look, I understand now why you did what you did, but DON’T. DO IT. AGAIN. Promise?”

She seems very stern about this. Well, now that I know what I can get away with and what I can’t around here, I probably won’t get into trouble like that again. I might as well accept. I nodded, “Promise.”

“Pinkie Promise?”

Now I know how she feels. “I have no idea what that is.”

“Just do what I do,” She started making strange arm motions as she went through this “Pinkie Promise.” “Cross my heart, and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.”

That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, but if it’ll make her feel more at ease, I guess it can’t hurt. I repeated the motions as I chanted the silly phrase, “Cross my heart, and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my-” Unfortunately, the last part of the promise required me to place my hand over my eye, but I accidentally ended up poking it instead. That being said…

OH GOD, THE PAIN. YOU LIED TO ME, PAST SELF. “Ow.” I covered my face with the hand I poked my eye with in embarrassment.

This made Twilight have a fit of uncontrollable laughter. To this day, I still don’t know why it made her laugh that hard.

I just smiled and shook my head as she was laughing.

When her laughter subsided enough to form coherent thoughts again, she started asking more questions, “So, have you been translating the entire time we’ve been gone?”

“Yeah, of course I have.” I pulled out the massive stack of 137 pages of notes I was keeping on the table next to the current book I was about to start using. I had to make room for them by stacking the other five books on the ground, next to the table. Twilight put the page of notes I gave to her to read on the table next to the one I was using, so I grabbed that and put it in order with the rest of the pages. Now I’m glad I numbered the pages. And here I thought that wasn’t going to be necessary.

Twilight didn’t seem as surprised as I thought she’d be. I guess she’s a big note taker too. “How many books did you translate?”

“Just two. I was about to start on the third before you and Spike came back.” I motioned to the book I had sitting on the desk that I was about to start on after I finished the statement.

“Y-you’ve already translated two of the books?”

“Yeah…? Did I not mention I was fluent with the language?”

She shook her head, “Can I see your notes?”

I really have no idea why I’m going to do this, but at least this will give me an excuse to talk to Celestia about this topic. “Sure, but only the first 40 pages. The rest I need to get some insight from Celestia on. The second book spoke of a great deal of economic principles that flew right over my head, so I figured she could help out with a complete translation.” This was a very clever half-truth. One of the reasons I wanted to run this by her first was because of the economics I didn’t quite understand, sure, but the other was because of the relations between the Dragon Kingdom and Equestria. Well, those and the assassination of Empress Platinum III. At least I didn’t have to worry about either of them seeing a note about how I think the clear-cut bad guy the author depicted in the book was a genius. Or about Kefka. That would be a long explanation.

“While you’re giving her these notes, you should apologize to her. I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.” She actually seemed serious about that threat.

“Yeah… Speaking about that, is there a way I can request an audience with her?”

“Why don’t you just go to the throne room with me and talk to her?”

“Uhhh… yeah, see, the last time I left the throne room, she kind of told me the next time I barge in unannounced, she’ll have me arrested. Again.”

I think Twilight’s eye twitched when I finished my statement. “What in Tartarus did you say to her?!”

I didn’t answer the question.

A long, guttural noise escaped Twilight’s mouth, “I guess I don’t have a choice but to send her a letter personally. I’ll tell her I need to speak with her and you’ll go with me.”

Wait, what? “Somehow, I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

“You barging into the Princess’ throne room to argue with her wasn’t a good idea either, but that didn’t stop you.”

Shit, she’s good. And here I thought I was going to be the only one on this planet to be good at apologetics.

“Let’s go and find Spike so that he can send the letter. I’ll arrange the time so that we can meet with the Princess tomorrow morning, when she’ll be the least busy, I hope.”

“How exactly is Spike going to send this letter? Shouldn’t we write it first anyway?”

“Well, for one, you don’t have the best writing, and neither do I, so Spike will be writing it. The other question you’ll just have to see the answer to.”

How cryptic. I like that, but I really don’t know why she’s going through all this trouble. It’s really bothering me. “You know I could just do this myself if you tell me how to request an audience. Why are you going through all this trouble just to help me? Aren’t you furious with me?”

“A little, yes.”

“Then why are you helping me? The only person I know that would go to this length to help me is- …isn’t around anymore. I don’t get why you’re going through all this to help someone you’re angry with.”

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, “What do you mean, ‘isn’t around anymore’?”

Oh sure, that’s the thing you ask about. “Exactly as I said. He isn’t around here, is he?”

Twilight got the strangest look on her face when she heard me say that, “I know you’re hiding something. Why won’t you just tell me?”

“I don’t feel comfortable telling you about that.”

She looked hurt, “Why not? You should know you can tell me anything. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

I was struck completely speechless by that. I honestly thought Celestia was screwing with me when she told me about that. Such a ridiculous concept for us to be friends, and yet… Why do I feel strangely happy about this? “I- I’m not…” I mumbled, trailing off at the end. I truly didn’t know how to react to this.

She almost looked like she was about to cry, “D-do you not think of me as a friend?”

“I-It’s not that, but…”

She seemed to calm down, if only a bit, after that, “But what?”

“I just…” I sighed, “I’ve always had trouble talking about this.” I felt like I needed to sit down, so I leaned against the wall and lowered myself to a sitting position.

I really didn’t want to tell her about this. I always hated talking about my dead friend to people that I knew would never understand. Celestia was different; she had clearly seen the horrors of war at some point, so I figured she could at least get a grasp at what I had been through the last seven years, but Twilight? As far as I could tell, she was as close to innocent as they come. She had a loving family, a caring mentor, and a bunch of really great friends; she would never be able to understand what it was like to watch your best friend die right in front of you after you’ve known him for almost a quarter of a century. Every time I thought of him, I felt like a screaming mess, eventually turning into a hollowed shell of what I once was. I’d never tell anyone this personally, but I began to despise myself for not being able to save him. The more I thought about that day, the more I deluded myself into thinking that I could have saved him, and that meant I became more self-loathing by the day. The two psychiatrists and one physician I went through after I got discharged from the war kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, but I was far too blinded by grief to believe anything they told me at the time. Truth be told, I didn’t really trust a psychologist’s opinion, anyway. I don’t even remember when it was that I realized that the wound he got was fatal on impact, but that didn’t change how I felt about the matter. He was dead, and I couldn’t do anything to prevent that. It drove me mad to the point where I could barely even maintain a healthy eating schedule the first six months after getting sent back home. I barely ate, to my recollection never went outside, and ignored everyone I knew for the entire year after he died. I eventually had to go out and get a job; otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to live, if I could really call it that without him.

I ended up going back to the same thing I was doing before the draft: mechanical engineering. It was my major, after all. After I quit being a detective, he always told me that it was cool having a friend that was an engineer. I think he mostly just said that to make me feel a little better after I quit. Also, with us being from California, we sort of expected a lot of our group of friends to end up not going to college, becoming drug addicts, getting killed in a car accident, or in Steve's case, a combination of the three. I didn't like Steve anyway. Regardless, we figured we should stick together, try to make the state a better place so that we wouldn’t have to worry about our stupid drug addict friends. He ended up majoring in Law with a minor in Political Science, hoping to eventually be one of the state’s two Senators, but after the assassination of three of the Senators in 2024, they halted the election to the Senate long enough for my friend to get drafted into the war with me. Those assassinations were actually the reason America decided to involve itself in the war that was going on in Isreal. It was like some kind of ironic, sick joke being played on him; if the election wasn’t halted, and he got in, he would have been immune to the draft, and got the chance to try to carry out his dream. “Security reasons” were the excuses they gave for delaying the election. “Security reasons” were why my friend died out there fighting for them. They better have been some really damn good security reasons…

I finally managed to get the words out, “The best friend I ever had was killed seven years ago.” That was all I left it at. I didn’t give her any details about how he was shot in front of me, killing him instantly, nor did I go in detail about the war that surrounded us at the time. It wasn’t so much for her sake as it was mine; I knew if I started to go over the details aloud I’d have a nervous breakdown, and probably end up in a corner, depressed and sobbing, for the next month.

While sitting against the wall, I had subconsciously curled up into an upright fetal position, and didn’t bother looking up as I said that. I couldn’t tell what Twilight’s reaction was, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to know. I couldn’t bear to have anyone look at me while I was in this state of mind, and I especially didn’t want her to see.

Eventually, I felt something warm placing itself on my shoulder. It broke me out from my depressed trance and made me look over at what it was: Twilight’s hoof. With a distressed look on her face, she placed her hoof on my shoulder trying to comfort me to no avail. Had this been seven years ago, right after he died, this state of mind would have lasted weeks, probably even months and I wouldn’t be able to calm down. Around year three after his death I finally managed to channel my depression away without distracting myself with mounds of work by the use of physical activity; mostly it just ended up being walking. Said activity is what I resorted to in this situation, as well.

“I-If you don’t mind, I need to be alone for a little while. I’m gonna go clear my head,” I said meekly, getting up off the floor. I put the hood of my cloak back up to hide my face. I hated anyone seeing me like this, one of the many reasons I dawned this cloak of mine. I didn’t hear Twilight reply back to that, if she did at all. I was far too lost in my thoughts to hear anything at that point.

I slowly made my way around the palace, wandering aimlessly to help clear my head some. There were some days where, even after managing to find a consistent method to reduce my levels of depression, it still felt like it didn’t help at all. I believe it was fortunate that I hadn’t been thinking about that day for very long, otherwise the walking wouldn’t have helped much. My wandering eventually led me to some sort of garden outside the castle. Strange statues adorned the outskirts of a hedge maze. They didn’t really mean anything to me at the time, so I didn’t pay much attention to any of them. There was someone, however, trying to get my attention.

“Excuse our intrusion, art thou not the traveler Sister has mentioned?”

I turned around to find another tall, winged unicorn (I was told later the technical term was Alicorn) that was about Celestia’s size, only in a dark shade of blue with hair resembling the night sky. I guess this is that “Princess Luna” Twilight mentioned a couple days ago.

“That’s one way of putting it, I suppose.”

The next thing I knew, she slapped me across the face with her right forehoof, leaving a red mark that couldn’t be seen due to my hood.

“Let that be a warning to thee!” She was practically shouting at me, “If thou insist on insulting our sister, we shall use more than a hoof the next time!”

“Yeah, guess I deserved that,” I said, placing a finger across my cheek to make sure it wasn’t bleeding. Of course, I wouldn’t have needed to be concerned about that if she wasn’t wearing those ridiculous pieces of foot armor.

“Is that all thou hast to say about this matter?” I couldn’t tell, but it sounded a bit like concern in her voice, rather than accusation. I’m not sure; maybe it was the depression playing tricks on me.

“More or less. I’m well aware that my actions have consequences, and I fully expected something like that to come sooner or later, albeit not from you. I was a little out of line, wasn’t I?” That was intended to be more of a rhetorical question than anything else, but the supposed Princess Luna still felt the need to answer it anyway.

“Very much so, indeed. We hope that thou plan on apologizing to Sister post-haste, lest you indict our wrath.”

“I was going to, yes.” This was a lie. The thought hadn’t crossed my mind yet until after Twilight told me to, and I was still debating on whether to do it or not by the time Luna confronted me. I didn’t tell her this, obviously, but it was nice to know that they couldn’t read minds.

“Does something bother you, traveler? Sister spoke of you being more… animated than this. Thine words sound hollow and oppressed.”

What is with her speech? Are we in 14th Century England now? I didn’t really know how to respond to this. I figured if I lied here about this not only would Luna not believe me, but if Celestia found out that I’d been lying to her sister I’d never hear the end of it.

I ended up going with, “You caught me at a bad time. Mind if we talk later? I have some things I need to sort out.”

She paused for a moment, presumably debating whether or not to accept my request. “Very well, traveler. We shall hold thou to that arrangement in the near future. Until then, we have royal duties we must attend to.” She turned and started walking away before adding one more thing, “And be warned, traveler. Thou art treading on thin ice.”

…So was that the royal “we,” or is she just crazy? If there was one good thing that came out of that exchange, it was that I was now more focused on speaking with Celestia rather than thinking about my dead friend. I walked around only for a bit longer, mostly just to find my bearings around the castle. Now that I had explored the thing for over two hours the first time, I learned a lot of landmarks to guide myself over to where I needed to be. Eventually I managed to make my way back to the observatory from earlier today, noticing that it was already night outside. Twilight and Spike weren’t around, so I decided to sit down in front of the glass-paned walls and stargaze. It was nice seeing so many stars outside without dealing with the light pollution in larger-populated areas back on my planet. I got a good look at all the constellations I was actually familiar with, Canis Major, Orion, and the Big Dipper. In a strange way, I guess stargazing at familiar constellations made me feel like I was back on my planet. This feeling was both comforting and worrisome, because the longer I looked at the stars; the more I thought that it would be fine if I stayed. I knew I couldn’t, but it didn’t stop me from feeling that way.

When I thought I spent enough time stargazing, I got up and stretched my back and arms out. I checked the only clock I knew of in the castle, and saw that I had been stargazing for around twenty minutes or so. I had definitely calmed down enough by this point to confront Twilight again, so I figured I should start seriously looking for her now.

I made my way back to where I first left Twilight to see if she stuck around the Archives. No one seemed to be around by the time I got there, so I made my way back over to where Twilight said her room was. On the way over, I spotted a very distinct, small purple dragon.

He noticed me and motioned me over, “H-hey.” Spike seemed nervous.

I nodded back to him, acknowledging his greeting.

“I, uh, I heard from Twilight about earlier. You okay?”

“I cleared my head, yes,” I remembered him being seemingly irritated when they both came back to the Archives. “You seemed rather annoyed when you first came back to the Archives earlier. Was that my doing?”

“Well, you were pretty reckless earlier. And you kinda argued with Mom…”

“Mom”? He views Celestia as his mother? “…Sorry. I sort of lost it for a little while.”

“It’s cool. Twilight told me all about the plan, and I already sent Mom the letter for it. Oh, and Twilight also told me to tell you to be ready early tomorrow morning for it if she didn’t see you for the rest of the night.”

“Thanks for that.” Spike seemed very mature about the way he handled things; certainly a lot more than I had been the last 24 hours. “So, ‘Mom,’ huh?” It feels very awkward asking this question.

“Oh, yeah. She’s been the closest thing I have to a mom since I was hatched.”

So dragons are hatched from eggs? I guess they’re more closely related to reptiles than I thought. “Do you not know about your real parents?”

He seemed really down after I asked that, “N-no, I don’t. That’s why I was really excited that you could read Draconian. I thought maybe you might find something about my parents in one of the books the Archives has.”

…And now I feel really bad for asking that question. “I haven’t found much yet, unfortunately. So far all I’ve read is a mushy romance novel and a very detailed economics book.”

The young dragon planted his face in his claws, “I’m worried I’ll never find out who they are.”

I knelt down and put my oversized hand on his tiny shoulder, “I may not be able to find anything about your parents in the books you have in the Archives, but I can teach you the language so you can ask around about them next time you see any of your fellow dragons, if you want.”

He looked up from his claws, “You’d do that?”

I simply nodded in response.

Spike’s eyes lit up bright, “That’d be great! When do we start?”

Despite the fact that he couldn’t see it, I smiled at his eagerness, “Unfortunately, I’d need some time to prepare notes, worksheets, and a lesson plan to get you started. My guess is that we might not be able to start for another couple weeks, give or take a few days.”

“Oh, alright.” He seemed a bit disappointed at not being able to start right away.

“Don’t worry; we’ll get to it by the end of July at the latest. I can assure you that much.”

He smiled and nodded at me. I really do admire that enthusiasm of his.

“By the way, do you know where Twilight is? I figured I should go speak with her, but I haven’t managed to find her yet.”

“Twilight said she’d stop by to see Shining and Cadence one more time, then head back to her room. I’m sure by now she’s probably in her room.”

I must have just missed her, then. Wait, “Cadence”? “Who’s Cadence?”

“Shining Armor’s wife. They got married a couple months back. I got to host the bachelor party!”

I think I’m gonna like hanging around this kid. His enthusiasm is contagious, I swear. I chuckled, “I see. I’m sure you did a fantastic job. I should talk to Twilight before it gets too late. It was nice speaking with you, Spike.”

He seemed a bit surprised I said that, “Sure, anytime.”

With that, I took my leave to meet back up with Twilight. This labyrinth of a castle didn’t seem as bad to travel through now that I knew my way around. I made it back to the room Twilight mentioned earlier that day in good time.

I didn’t want to barge into her room unannounced, so I opted for knocking on the door instead. Besides, I didn’t know if she was actually there or not.

“Come in!” I heard a familiar voice say from inside.

I opened the door to find Twilight sitting in a desk, reading a book, with a massive stack of them next to her. Déjà vu.

She looked up from the pages, and once she saw who it was, put down the book and walked over to me. “Hi…”

Apparently ponies are just as bad at dealing with depression as I am. I mimicked myself from the chat I had earlier with Spike, nodding in confirmation.

“A-are you feeling alright? I’m sorry about asking that question so suddenly… I-I didn’t know-”

I cut her off, “You wouldn’t. That subject is not one I talk about lightly or much at all, for that matter. You did not offend me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t worried about that, I was worried about how depressed you got. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Am I going to have to repeat myself all night? “I cleared my head, yes. For the moment, I’m fine.”

“…This friend really meant a lot to you, didn’t he?” Twilight asked after being silent for a little bit.

“…Yes, he did.” I looked away from her, before mumbling the rest of my statement, “More than you’ll ever know…”

Twilight tugged me down with magic, and repeated the scene from the forest a couple days back. She hugged me again.

Somehow, this doesn’t get any less surprising the more she does this. “Okay, you have got to start warning me the next time you do this.”

Twilight just let out that endearing little giggle of hers again, “But then you’d never let me hug you.”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah that was kind of the point.”

“I swear, I think you’re hopeless sometimes,” she said back. Even though I couldn’t see it, I could almost feel the smile on her face as she said that. I can’t say I’d blame her if she did have one after that, because I certainly did.

Twilight finally released me from her hold, “Well, I am glad that you’re feeling better. If you ever want to talk about that again, I’ll always listen. I hope you know that.”

“Th-thank you. That means a lot.”

She smiled at me, “Anytime.”

I remembered what I had spoken with Spike about earlier, “Oh, and I think I should thank you once more for sending that letter for tomorrow. You really didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, really. Besides, maybe if I’m there, the Princess might go a little easier on you.”

Somehow I doubt that, based on Luna’s response, but I do still appreciate the gesture. “What did you say in that letter, anyway?”

“Just that I wanted to speak with her about something I’d forgotten to ask earlier today. She said that she’d be able to make time early tomorrow morning, and to come visit her in the Throne Room once I was ready.” Her face shifted to a worried stare, “I hope you know what you’re going to say to her, because it’ll take one big apology with how fuming she was earlier. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that mad before…”

“I’m pretty sure she’s just mad because she knows the only two things she can do to me, legally, are things that I’m not too worried about if she does or not, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

“What are those?”

“Throwing me into a dungeon, or deporting me, obviously.”

Twilight gave me an incredulous look, “You’re not worried about either of those things?”

I thought about it for a moment, “Well, maybe the latter, but I’d never tell her that. Surprisingly, your jailing system isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“If you say so…”

“Oh, I almost forgot, did you read those notes I took on the first book I translated?”

She laughed, “I did. So it really was a romance novel?”

“Believe me; I was just as surprised as you. I didn’t think I’d actually come across one.”

“There was one thing on your notes that confused me, though. What are these X-E-N-O-gears you mentioned?”

Oops. Now I’m really worried about putting Kefka in the second book’s translation notes. I’ll have to double check that later. “I put Xenogears in there? Oh, wow, that was completely unintentional.”

“That’s how it’s pronounced?” She started sounding it out to herself a couple times, “Xe-no-gears… Xenogears… What are these ‘Xenogears’? Are they a series of novels?”

Do they even have video games in their universe as of now? I suppose I should keep it ambiguous just in case. “For lack of a better term, yes, Xenogears is a fantastic piece of literature that just so happens to be one of my favorite stories ever told. I could tell you about it in detail later, if you’d like?”

“I would love to hear about it. I kept your notes where you left them in the Archives, by the way. Don’t stay up too late, alright?”

I rolled my eyes, “Twilight, I’m 42. I’m fairly certain I can keep my own sleeping schedule managed. Oh, where is my room, anyway? Do I go back to the hospital or..?”

“Oh, right! I completely forgot to tell you about that with everything that happened today. Your room is in the West Wing, the third door to your left after you enter the Wing. Do you know your way around yet? Do you need help getting there?”

“I’ve been learning my way around. I should be fine on my own, thank you. I swear this place would be easier to get around if there were maps.”

She laughed, “It’s always hardest the first time around. I’m actually surprised you know your way around so well already. It took me a week to figure out that there was a bathroom on this side of the castle when the Princess first took me in.”

I folded my arms, “I would have already memorized my way around if the architect of this place put even a single map in the castle.”

Twilight looked up at the wall. I hadn’t noticed it when I walked in, but there apparently was a clock up there, and it said that it was really close to 10 pm. “I’d like to keep talking with you, Hurricane, but I believe it’s time we both got some rest. You’ve spoken with Spike, haven’t you? If you see him again on your way, tell him to come back here and get some sleep. It’s way past his bedtime and he knows it!”

I smirked, “Will do, Twilight. See you in the morning.”

With that, we said our farewells and I was on my way over to the West Wing. Before getting there, I stopped by the Archives to pick up my notes that Twilight left for me. I really only cared about the notes on the economics book, so I left the first 47 pages summarizing that romance novel behind. Also, I double checked; fortunately enough for me, I did not need to edit out Kefka in any of my notes.

Despite not seeing Spike on my way over, I had finally made my way to the West Wing of the castle some ten or fifteen minutes after I left Twilight’s room. I’m sure Spike will be fine. He seems to know his way around the castle.

I went to the third door to my left after entering the Wing. The door was left unlocked, and pushing it open revealed my quarters for the night. Fairly nice room, nothing special, but certainly better than what I had been sleeping on the last week. Both my room and Twilight’s had these vaguely familiar room structures. They were like a mix of modern Japanese and ancient European; they looked like they could be elegant, but were designed to save space, although I do not know what purpose that could be for. The castle seemed big enough to me where they wouldn’t need they wouldn’t need the extra space for much. See? This is why maps are helpful! At least then I’d know why these rooms look like they need to conserve space.

My room’s furniture was limited, but I didn’t need much anyway, so I wasn’t complaining. Quite frankly, I was just happy that I’d get to sleep in a bed that was actually my size for once this week, unlike the short hospital bed and all the trees I’d been leaning against in the days prior. The room had a bed that was barely big enough for my height and a desk close by. I placed my 90 pages of notes on said desk so that I could keep track of them. There were also candles adorning the desk in case I needed some light for whatever I could do in the night. It would have been late-night reading and writing, if anything at all.

Candles for light, huh? So they have plastic but no working electricity in a castle? I wonder just how far their technology has advanced if they don’t have working electricity for the nation’s capital city. Twilight said they had developed the first stages of computers, didn’t she? Perhaps their technological advancements are just poorly distributed…? I really should make a list of questions I need to ask. This is getting ridiculous.

I decided to keep my train of thought from progressing any further, lest I forget what I was going to write down. I figured since it was only a quarter past 10, I’d have some time to write down a few things I wanted to ask. There were namely three things I wrote to provoke different chains of dialogue when I asked them, “How is the technology of this world spread,” “What are the practical and extensive uses of magic, and what impact do they have on this society” and “If this world can produce plastics, what do they use as fossil fuel and how much technology have they actually researched to get far enough to be able to harness the power of fossil fuels?” I ended up having to write these on the backside of the last page of notes, since I didn’t have any spares lying around the room. The backside of that page was clear of writing since I didn’t end up using it, so those questions were the only things that could be seen.

When I felt I wrote enough miscellaneous questions about their world and society, I took off my cloak and threw it on the desk, blew out the candle I lit earlier, and plopped down on the bed that was given to me for the night. As I lied there, I kept thinking about what I said to Celestia earlier that day. The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt, and I finally confirmed that my decision would be to legitimately apologize to her. Eventually, I started thinking about the history notes, and how I hadn’t bothered showing them to Twilight yet.

Why couldn’t I just show her the notes? I had the opportunity, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t want to take it, but why? What do I feel about Celestia to make me want to help keep her secrets safe from even her student- my friend? Is it even about Celestia?

I let out a long sigh before continuing my train of thought. I don’t even know why I care about this society of ponies so much, let alone about what I’m going to say to Celestia tomorrow morning. I guess being alone for 7 years had unexpected advantages that I’m now suddenly starting to miss, namely dealing with things like these. Although, I’d gladly deal with hundreds of moments like these if it meant you were still alive, my friend. I paused my thought for a moment, Come to think of it; Twilight called me her friend, didn’t she? Why? Sure I call her a friend as well, but I’ve made it a point to try not to be too attached and remain as emotionally distant as I can to anything here. There shouldn’t be any reason for her to consider me anything more than an acquaintance. Actually, the only reason I even told her about that time was because she guilt tripped me with the concept of being her friend, but… Why does she see me as such? I guess women are just as confusing here as they are on my Earth.

My thoughts continued for a little while longer, namely about formulating my apology to Celestia the next morning. It was a good thing I got so much sleep the day before, because I didn’t get much at all after I finished my stream of consciousness this night.