The End of Laughter

by PurgingLight

First published

The fall of the great Pinkie

Everypony makes mistakes, after all. Just some... are a bit worse than others.

After the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle and Spike, Pinkie Pie dips into the dark end of things and is her normal self no longer. Greed can be a more powerful influence of one's actions than even years of friendship and love together.

Can anything bring back things to what they once were?

The Beginning of the End

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"Princess Celestia, I object!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

"SILENCE!" yelled Celestia. "This court finds you Guilty of the charges brought against you here today. Your sentence is 6 months solitary confinement."

"NOPONY TAKES AWAY MY PINKIE PIE!"

Just then, an odd magic bolt flies full-speed at Celestia…

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And after all that, I, Pinkie, am alone for the first time in my life. Perhaps in writing of how this came to be, it'll prevent somepony else from making the same mistakes I have.

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[Winter Wrap-up has just finished, so it's time for me to start harvesting my own winter crops. Now to cut, bag, tag, and…]

"Pinkie darling, are you down there?"

"Patience, Rarity! This takes time, and I haven't even started yet!"

[…and dry. *shuffles through some order papers* Sheesh, another triple order this year for Rarity. I swear, where does that girl put it all?]

"Darling, I've got that down payment as promised, all 15,000 Bits. Now, I'll leave you to work your own magic. See me in the Boutique when you're available, please."

"See you later!"

[Well… At least I know her money is good, so I can't really complain. Now, as for Dashie, where's her…]

"FOUND YA!"

[Impeccable timing…] "Dashie, where's your delivery bag at? I could have swore you left it here last fall."

"I did! But had to grab it. Business boom and all that back in Cloudsdale." She dropped a paper on the table. "Okay, not exactly a boom, but…"

"DASHIE! I said we fly UNDER the radar! We can't attract attention to ourselves like Derpy to free muffins!"

"Coincidentally…", says Dashie, sliding the form to Pinkie.

"WHAT NOW!?!", she exclaimed, looking at the paper. "Derpy, 200 muffins, 1,700 Bits... Alright, Dashie, but no others! This isn't exactly legal, you know. And make sure she pays, or it's coming out of YOUR pocket!"

Rainbow Dash gulped. Last time Pinkie said something like that, she wound up spending several months in the CCU of Canterlot Hospital due to various organs getting damaged and then failing. Nearly killed her. She knew Pinkie meant business, and not the good kind in this case.

"All right. I'll collect at least some of it immediately. Later!"

[What am I going to do with her? Maybe some special Rainbow Breath Brownies or something…]

"Miss Pinkie Pie! Breakfast rush! To the counter, on the double!"

"Right away Mrs. Cake!"

[Arrrrrrgh! How much longer to I have to work in this rat hole?]

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[Wow. What a beautiful full moon tonight. Time to crunch the numbers and get stuff done.]

Tapping away at the keyboard while muttering to herself, Pinkie didn't even notice somepony creeping in the floor level of the Sugarcube Corner until the crashing sound of pots & pans gets her attention. Rushing upstairs, with only the moon shedding any light, she crashes into the one pony she didn't expect to break in. EVER.

"Applejack? What are you doing here?!? Can't you see we're closed?"

"Ah could ask you the same thing Pinkie."

"Well, I do the books for Mrs. Cake. Sometimes, I work late. Now, your turn."

"Well, RD told me about these muffins that relax anypony, so ah figured to copy it and bake them myself."

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" The last thing Applejack saw was Pinkie's hooves coming at her face.

[Note to self: Do the same thing to Dashie next time I see her…]

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Dawn begins to break over Ponyville.

[Such a beautiful day. Good thing I have the day off from Sugarcube Corner. I can get the other business done. First things first, Rarity's deposit.]

As she gets near the Boutique, she hears music blasting from inside.

♬♬Collect the parts where I went, against the grain, against the odds ♬♬

[Again? I really hope she's not experimenting with that new dragon again. The last time was disastrous.]

She shuddered at the very memory of what happened... Sugarcube Corner exploding, Rarity's Boutique going up in flames, and more… That was something she wished she could forget.

"Rarity! I'm here!" Pinkie shouted.

The door then flung open, with a roll of fabric right behind, causing Pinkie to roll out into the road.

♬♬ Dawn of a new day, it never looked, as good as this. ♬♬

"Rarity, could you turn off that racket please?"

With a little flex of magic, the music shuts off.

"Darling, come to collect so soon? It's just inside, in the pink bag with your-"

"That's not what's on my mind right now," replied Pinkie, cutting Rarity short. "I know that when you've got that music going, that dragon is around. WHAT THE HAY FOR?!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!?"

"Calm down Pinkie." Rarity reassured her, "On the contrary. I've adopted her. I'm sure it's what Spike would have wanted in case... well... something like what happened, happened. I've found out that anything that reminds her of her parents helps keep her from rampaging. Doesn't help any that she's half dragon, half alicorn."

"I know what she is makes her volatile. And let me guess: That's what the triple order is for?"

Rarity nodded. "It helps a lot more than you would think. And it's likely to be my regular order from here on."

Pinkie slammed her hoof into her forehead in frustration. "You've got to be kidding me."

To which Rarity said, "Afraid not darling. Come collect when it's convenient for you."

And with that, Rarity went back inside, slamming the door behind her and turning the music back on. As Pinkie turned away, a cloud blocked out the sun. As she looked up, she saw that familiar rainbow trail.

"Dashie, did you get it yet?" she hollered.

"One minute! I'll have to clear the sky first! I'll have it done in 10 seconds flat."

And then Rainbow Dash darted to and from, until the sky was cleared once more. Seeing this always made Pinkie wish that one of them was a stallion, so they wouldn't have to hide their feelings. But alas…

"Hey Pinkie! I got most of it, 900 Bits. Derpy said that she'd pay the rest upon delivery of at least half of her order."

[Good enough…] "Thanks Dashie. Oh, by the way, there was a problem last night due to your big mouth. We had a burglar trying to steal that muffin recipe."

"So what?" Dashie snapped back, then yawned. Big mistake. The moment her eyes were shut, Pinkie slammed Dashie's head with her hoof, rendering her unconscious on contact. Pinkie then picked Dashie up and carried her away.

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Applejack woke up in Fluttershy's bed.

"Oh, you poor dear. Glad you're awake now. What happened to you Applejack?"

To which Applejack replied sourly, "Pinkie Pie. She knocked me out cold when ah went for a recipe last night."

"Last night? But how? You've been out for 3 days. I've been so worried about you. Found you lying in the fountain. I'm surprised you didn't drown."

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!" yelled the now enraged Applejack. "Ah know that it's not exactly her fault for acting this way, be we have to report her to Celestia before she kills somepony."

"But Twilight-"

Applejack cut her off. "Ah don't give a flying feather what Twi would do! She and Spike are not with us anymore. We got to take charge, for all our sakes!"

"I'm sorry. You're right. Let me get my saddlebag and I'll fly you to Canterlot."

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"SHINING ARMOR!!!"

He looked up just in time to see Applejack falling from the sky. "What are you doing flying in? I could have shot you down. Wait. How did you even-"

She cut him short. "Nevermind that right now. We got an emergency in Ponyville! Is it possible to speak with the princesses?"

"Of course Applejack," came the reply. "I'll go immediately to inform them of your request.

—Meanwhile—

Dashie was regaining her senses. She realized that she was strapped down to a table, and poised to fall into some sort of giant machine.

"Sooooo… Dashie… Didn't I say NOT to anger me? That you'd regret it if you did? Well, you did, so IT'S TIME TO PAY!"

And with those words, the machine turned on, sounding like a blender. The restraints holding Dashie in place started loosening their hold…