Earth ponies- The brute-force masters of the land, with superior strength and hoof-speed to match! Pegasi- Winged warriors who dominate the skies of Equestria with unparalleled speed and agility! Unicorns- Precision fighters who's horns give them a diverse and unpredictable array of attacks! And other species- From alicorns to draconequi, and the mythical beasts of the Everfree Forest and beyond!
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world-class fighters are testing some of Equestria's most lethal tactics. Using Modern-Age science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go hoof-to-hoof. No rules, no safety, no mercy; it's a duel to the death, to decide who is...
Discord, strung lazily about his couch, flipped through channels on his TV. It was a new plasma-screen, with surround sound and HD picture. Of course, his powers gave him interdimensional reception with no blackout dates and free On-Demand movies. These same powers had also allowed him to remodel himself, or rather his petrified body, into the ultimate draconequus-cave for his miniaturized consciousness. He had struck upon the idea a few centuries after his initial imprisonment. After all, staying frozen in one pose for several millenia was both too boring and too orderly! Of course, he had to remodel after the Cutie Mark Whatevers accidentally freed him, but he considered the trade-off more than worth it.
So, now that he was back to his old, stone-sealed self, locked in seclusion in the mines below the royal palace, he had more than enough time to kill. Occassionally, Pinkie came by to visit, and they played Call of Duty. But today was not such a happy day. Somehow, despite having access to millions of channels from across the space-time continuum, he could find nothing to watch. It was a frequent problem: there were just no decent shows these days! Not to mention the good ones always got canceled. The only solution here was obvious: channel surfing. He jumped from Man vs. Food (he could gorge on the chaos in that fool's stomach!) to some endless show about a man named Truman. Apparently, people were actually entertained by just watching him live, even though he had no idea his life was scripted from the start. Discord jumped at the word scripted. All that could come to his mind after that was the DVR: his collection of ever-enjoyed classics he could always turn to in such a situation. Of course, it's contents were entirely random.
As he irrritatedly ran down the list, a small orange dot caught his eye next to a show. It meant he had a recording unfinished, and he recalled just how it became that way: It was what he was watching the second he absorbed enough ambient chaos to free himself. He had thrown the episode aside to focus on old plans for revenge, but he now realized that he was ignoring success as it stared him in the face. He just had to rip a page from this show's playbook (more like play-pamphlet) for his own use. It would pit friend against friend, sister against sister, and start a free-for-all of chaos across Equestria. And he would reign supreme in just such an environment. All he needed was a chance.
Discord turned quickly through the programming guide, looking to Canterlot Today. All of the afternoon was filled by a single block, labeled Royal Wedding/Changeling Invasion. Just perfect, he thought to himself. Equestria was being invaded on the same day his high-school sweetheart was getting hitched. Unless it's Luna, he reminded himself. Wonder who the lucky stallion was? Maybe some Griffanian king, or another diplomatic union. How petty, if it were the case. She deserved better. She deserved him. But as he pulled up the description, he found both of his assumptions incorrect: Princess Cadence was marrying Shining Armor. No international politics, no old wounds from childhood, just the overblown union of two ponies he'd never heard of. A few years ago it could've been just the same for him. A princess and her stallion, nothing but true love between them. Until the accident. Until she decided to spurn him. He had yet to make her regret that decision, but when he did, he would make her pay dearly. But Discord had to snap out of that train of thought before it wrecked at the station of his opportunity. His broken heart would have to take back-seat to his need for freedom. An invasion meant the chaos of war, especially with those shifty, gimmick-stealing changelings. It meant escape.
Yet the thought of her, an idea came to his mind. He could avenge some old heartache and watch his recording at the same time. As he flipped over to Canterlot Today, he got a clear shot of changelings smashing through the palace's shields. How convenient. After returning to his unfinished recording, he looked down to his remote, finding a button he had been just dying to press: Export show. He raised his claw up dramatically, extended his index finger, and dropped it straight on the button. Pure chaos energy charged through his body, forming a pathway between the TV, him, and the outside world. His draconequus-cave began to warp, as did the rest of Equestria. The image on the screen expanded incessantly, focusing on a small group of letters with a bright orange dot next to them. It was the recording title. It read: Deadliest Warrior.
Back at the royal palace, Celestia, Chrysalis, and the Mane 6 were all feeling the effects of the recent reality-warping. Armies of changelings disappeared as quickly as they had arrived, as did almost all other ponies. The ground beneath them began twisting downwards, spiraling into a huge funnel to oblivion. All remaining (except Pinkie) slid down the grade into the depression; Rainbow could not muster any propulsion from her wings, nor could Twilight generate a single spark of magic. Pinkie was unaffected, however, and casually watched her friends' descent. She bent down on her knees in midair, and took off toward the center of the room in full gallop. Right as she crossed over the pitfall to nowhere, she lept up off her back hooves, bringing her front hooves together and pointing them straight down. Diving as gracefully as a Pinkie Pie could, she dropped into the hole, entering a much larger group of ponies. She splashed at the bottom as if impacting an invisible liquid (a sensation none of the others had encountered), and promptly surfaced and climbed back onto solid ground. Rarity and Applejack turned around to see the disturbance, only to find large white signs, labeled 10.0 on the front, clamped in their mouths. Both spit them out, and glared at Pinkie with absolute confusion. Their lines of sight were soon cut off, as walls of darkness rose from the ground and sealed each of them off from the others. Inside each of their tight, cubicle-like cells, a large image appeared in front of them, similar in appearance to a TV screen. The only light to be found, it quite clearly showed Discord, wearing a snazzy business suit. Their reactions to this were quite varied, but his message to them was all the same.
"Greetings, my little ponies. I want to play a game. Each of you is now on your own, so forget about all of this magic of friendship nonsense. Forget family, forget relationships, and by all means, forget love! There's no room for that if you want to survive. I am going to send you all at each other in a tournament of 1-on-1 combat. No rules, no safety, no mercy; it'll be a duel to the death every time. Thus, we will decide who is the Deadliest Pony!"
A shrill scream broke even the confinement of darkness with its shear volume, and everypony could quite easily identify where Fluttershy was in the group. This knowledge was short-lived, however, as each of them simultaneously keeled over on the ground, unconscious.
Celestia: the Princess of the Day, an alicornian master of magic, and the unquestioned monarch of Equestria!
Nightmare Moon: Darkness incarnate, the Queen of the Night, whose very name inspires terror!
Who is deadliest?
Welcome to Deadliest Pony. I'm your host, Discord. Here in the Fight Club, our weapons experts will be pitting two of the most powerful beings in the universe (barring yours truly) against each other. Princess Celestia, ruler of all ponies and master of the Sun, against Nightmare Moon, the dark queen of legends whose power-hunger is matched only by her bloodlust! They once were sisters, but are now polar opposites: light vs. darkness. Let's meet our teams, and get a little bit of background on our fighters. For the side of Celestia, we have Discord, Celestia's former coltfriend and current mortal enemy.
"Princess Celestia was born several millennia ago, one of Equestria's last alicorns. From birth, she had to face the challenge of living in Discord's Equestria. We're talking a world defined by chaos, ponies. It's no oyster."
Ahh, those were the good days, folks!
"Losing her parents soon after the birth of her sister, Luna, Celestia came of age quickly to defend them both. She grew in magical prowess, and eventually discovered the Elements of Harmony. Using these in tandem with her sister, she banished Discord and restored order to Equestria."
Boo! Boo! Anyways, that's enough about my high-school marefriend. Let's talk about her emo sister. Bring on the Nightmare Moon expert. Discord was Nightmare Moon's, umm, ehh, life-coach for her days of evil, and fellow supervillain on the show. By the way, my dense little ponies, if you hadn't already figured it out, I'm the expert for everypony. Hello, god of chaos? Get used to this sultry, seductive voice.
----------------------------------- Author's Note: For stuff in quotes, imagine Discord talking like a scientist, with accompanying pictures of what he talks about. For non-quoted stuff, it's either normal Discord or the voice of the Deadliest Warrior narrator.
-----------------------------------
Argh, NightmareDash, quit interrupting my show! Anyways...
"Nightmare Moon's history begins several centuries into the co-rulership of Equestria by Celestia and Luna. Luna believed she was not recieving credit for the night she brought, and became jealous of her sister's fame. This jealousy, evolving into hatred, mentally unlocked her full potential, allowing her to recreate herself as the more powerful Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon sought to bring eternal night to Equestria, but was defeated by Celestia and the Elements of Harmony. This defeat reverted her back to Luna, but no sooner had this happened than Celestia used the Elements to banish her to the Moon for a millennia."
(sniffle) This is the best part!
"This caused Celestia untold centuries of regret, but only fueled Luna's anger. Nightmare Moon returned with a vengeance, and her isolation only worsened her mental instability. A thousand years later, she escaped, captured Celestia, and once again tried to blanket Equestria in eternal night. She was defeated by the Elements again, now wielded by the Mane 6. This time, however, she reverted back into Luna, and has since attempted to return to Equestrian society."
Well, now that the boring backstory dump is finished, let's get to the destruction! There are a few categories of tactics we're going to check out: short-range, long-range, special, and X-factors. What do we have in short-range, other me?
"Celestia and Nightmare Moon are about equal in strength, but since Nightmare Moon was banished to, well, the moon, Celestia has about a thousand-year leg-up on her in terms of practice. In the perspective of several millennia, however, this doesn't really make a difference. But while Celestia spent the time ruling Equestria, Nightmare Moon had nothing to care about but revenge. This means she's been working out, developing spells, and planning attacks for a thousand years. Remember, Nightmare Moon pretty much is Luna, and has all of her memories and experiences. She and Celestia are basically the same in size, horn length, and wingpower, which are the main elements of hoof-to-hoof combat, but each of them has a special move or two to bring to the table."
Celestia brings The Solar Cloak! By charging herself with solar energy, Celestia can form a powerful armor made of pure sunlight. This armor can deflect magical attacks, damage any who contact her, and increase the speed and power of her attacks. However, it requires significant magical stamina to use, and is not very effective in darkness.
"The Solar Cloak technique was perfected by Celestia herself after defeating Discord. It can shield her from almost any attack, especially darkness-based ones. It also amplifies her physical abilities, and deals energy damage when the armor strikes something. She passed a weaker version to her student, Twilight Sparkle, which was more based on magical fire than sunlight energy. Essentially, Celestia is invincible when she uses this."
But can the Solar Cloak stand up to Nightmare Moon's Horn Stab? Nightmare Moon stabs her magically-sharpened horn into her opponent, then uses dark magic to inject poison into their bloodstream. This poison is potentially fatal if untreated, and difficult to cure with magic.
"One of the many changes Luna underwent in becoming Nightmare Moon was that her horn was elongated. Given a thousand years' banishment to prepare, she almost immediately worked on developing this new ability. The Horn Stab is the result. Stabbing another pony with one's horn is a very dirty tactic, taboo in almost all settings. The same can be said of bio-warfare magic. But Nightmare Moon isn't afraid to break the rules. She wants one thing: power, and if she has to play dirty to get it, then that's what she'll do. This tactic was actually used to incapacitate Celestia immediately upon Nightmare Moon's return."
Two very powerful magic-based techniques here, one majestic and powerful, the other more under-handed. It really comes down to versatility against poison. Solar Cloak can be both offensive and defensive, but once you've got your enemy poisoned, all you have to do is wait; time is on your side. That, and how much energy it takes both to neutralize the poison and create a Solar Cloak. But that being said, I just can't imagine Nightmare Moon's horn going through that armor.
The edge in short-range goes to Solar Cloak! What's in the long-range department, other me?
"We have two alicorns here, Discord, so we're talking superior-class magic abilities. That's how the long-range is going to play out. Once again, there are some very unique strategies to look at, beyond the force bolts and energy beams."
Celestia uses the Thermal Barrage technique! Celestia forms bullets of pure solar energy by flaring her wings, then launches them forward with a powerful gust. The bullets are low in power, but sheer number makes them a threat to enemies both alone and groups.
"During the Zebra Incursion, two millennia ago, Celestia found common attacks ineffective against the multitude of invaders. With that in mind, she developed the Thermal Barrage. The energy bullets did damage to multiple enemies at once, especially useful against armies. She can adjust the spread and targetting of the bullets, widening the range for a broader target, or shrinking it for more concentrated damage. It is a powerful and unpredictable attack, seeing as it's almost impossible to detect or dodge an energy bullet."
But Nightmare Moon is ready to strike back, with Nightmare Mist! Nightmare Moon releases her mane as a cloud of ethereal gas, capable of changing size and shifting into almost any shape. The gas can take on several traits, such as sedative, toxic, lighter-than-air, or fire-extinguishing, at Nightmare Moon's choosing. In addition, it can temporarily solidify itself into hard-darkness constructs. Nightmare Moon can also become the gas for quick escape.
"When Luna became Nightmare Moon, she became more connected to the power of the night, and this power manifested itself as a new mane. Nightmare Moon can project her mane as a cloud of gas, and control it over long distances. She can also merge with it to become gas. It can expand, contract and reshape itself almost limitlessly. It has split cliffs in two, reshaped an entire section of trees in the Everfree Forest, and can even form solid objects of pure energy. In short, this is the most versatile weapon you have ever seen, my little ponies. Plus, it's scary as hell."
You got that right, other me. But let's look at the weapons for their weapon-ness. Thermal Barrage will burn the crap out of you, and I speak from personal experience. It's also adjustable, suited for a wide variety of targets. But Nightmare Mist just does so much: it can suffocate, destroy, slip through cracks, and even create things. It gives Nightmare Moon a lot of options on the battlefield, and having options is the surest way to win.
For long-range, the edge goes to Nightmare Mist! Now let's move on to special abilities.
"For the special abilities of this battle, we are going to analyze each princess' armies. Celestia commands the Equestrian Royal Guard, and Nightmare Moon the Lunar Guard. These ponies would be the frontline fighters in a battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon. Both groups have almost identical armor and weapons, so the test is between the ponies themselves. We'll start with the Equestrian Royal Guard."
Boy, you have not met stiffer ponies! Not an ounce of fun in any of them!
"Following her ascension to the throne, Celestia appointed the best warriors in her revolutionary army to become her personal guard. She took direct command of the group, and gave them law-enforcing power throughout Equestria. Several millennia later, the Guard has evolved into a police force, ever-expanding in number. New recruits are given strenuous physical and mental training, learning every skill they need to enforce the law. They specialize after that, depending on their talents and breed; pegasi may become air patrolstallions, while unicorns can be trained as sentries at the Royal Palace. They are kept up-to-date on cutting-edge spells, flight techniques, and forensic science through Celestia, meaning they are always equipped with the best techniques for their job."
But somehow they never are when I show up...
"The Lunar Guard is a photo negative of the ERG. It screens members before admission, testing each potential guardstallion rigorously. Only a select few are admitted, and after that, the process intensifies. Each recruit spends two weeks at a training camp deep in the Everfree Forest, where they are drilled every day to become stronger, faster, and smarter. They train in harsh environmental conditions, all kinds of weather, and against simulated versions of every enemy imaginable. They learn paramilitary skills like infiltration, sabotage, psych warfare, and hoove-to-hoove combat. Simply put, by the end of boot camp, they are each deadly weapons in their own right. After this, they are initiated with a magical ritual, darkening their skin and giving them more draconic features, including bat-wings. This ritual was designed by Luna herself, with the changes making the guards stronger and more effective in the night. Throughout their tenure, they train constantly to maintain a physical and mental edge. The Lunar Guard swears loyalty to Luna, as opposed to Equestria, and even after her transformation they followed her leadership. This led to their disbandment a millennia ago, followed by several lone-wolf assassination attempts on Celestia. When Nightmare Moon returned, she did not have time to reform them, but quickly restarted the program after being reverted to Luna. They still maintain their fearsome reputation, making them much like their mistress: the stuff of legends."
Watch out guys, we're dealing with some badasses over here! But in all seriousness, the Lunar Guard is bad-ass. But they're just getting back on their hooves after a 1000-year absence. That being said, the Royal Guard isn't that fresh on experience, either, having been beaten in just about every major incursion in the past year. This is like putting the police against the army: police are good for peacetime work, but they can't handle a war. The Lunar Guard prepares for both occasions, and despite their covert status and fewer numbers, they have superior training to make up for it. Couple this with biomagical augmentation, and I really would not want to run into these guys in a back alley at midnight.
The edge goes to the Lunar Guard! Our final category is X-Factors, the type of things that can't be measured in a lab. Things like drive, resourcefulness, logistics, and mental stamina. Now, we'll assign numbers, one to one-hundred, to each warrior, based on their skill levels in each area. When we plug these numbers into the simulation, it will reflect them in the final battle. Let's talk about a few of the deciders:
Logistics: This is a commander's ability to manage materials and troops to wage war. Nightmare Moon is powerful, but she's been on the moon for a thousand years. Even though she's had enough time to restart the Lunar Guard program, she hasn't had enough time to build a full war machine. Most of Equestria's resources would go to Celestia out of loyalty, and this means both goods and civilians. With an entire kingdom at her command, Princess Celestia has superior logistics, and we gave her an 88, as opposed to Nightmare Moon's 67.
Drive: This means a warrior's determination to fight. Nightmare Moon was created by a percieved injustice against Luna by Celestia, and she's probably still holding that grudge. Then her own sister banishes her to the moon, and she has a millennia to brood and let her anger fester. She's going to come down on Celestia with everything she has, for the pure reason of revenge. And I always say that greed and revenge are the two strongest motivators. Celestia may love her kingdom, but that's nothing compared to a spirit of vengeance (see what I did there?) like Nightmare Moon's. Think about it: you've got a thousand years in complete isolation to do nothing but be pissed off and plot your revenge. You're going to get it by any means necessary. We gave Nightmare Moon a 97, and Celestia a 75.
Magical Skill: Since we're dealing with two alicorns here, we can talk about how they handle magic. Celestia is probably one of the most skilled magic users in Equestria, having spent generations studying and improving spells. She's studied under some of history's greatest masters, and is even mentoring one now. She literally knows every trick in the book, and she can use each one to its fullest potential. Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon plays outside the book. If for no reason other than sheer boredom, she probably experimented with magic quite a bit on the moon. She's been developing some nasty spells, most of which would be related to darkness and revenge. I wouldn't be surprised to see her pull out something the likes of which Equestria has never seen. Celestia's mastery of conventional magic matches Nightmare Moon's experimental dark arts, and we gave them both a 96.
Combat Experience: Wise ponies say that experience is the best teacher. Celestia has a few thousand years of experience under her saddle, facing Chrysalis and the changeling army, mythological beasts like the windigos, and even yours truly! She has also had a battle with Nightmare Moon, emerging victorious. This gives her valuable tactical knowledge, but the same wise ponies would say that one learns more from defeat than victory. Nightmare Moon gained just as much, if not more knowledge from their first battle, and has no doubt made plans to exploit it. But when she was Luna, even during the Celestial Revolution, she was sheltered by Celestia, never having to actively face combat. This means her only real experience is against Celestia and the Mane 6. Because of this, we gave Celestia a small advantage, ranking her at 90 and Nightmare Moon at 82.
Now that we have the numbers figured out, we can plug them into the simulator and run the final battle. We'll run it a thousand times, to prevent a lucky hit from deciding things, and average together the data we recieve. This will determine the winner. So, I'll start up the sim, and we'll see you all tomorrow... just kidding. God of chaos means no wait times. So with a little snap, crackle, pop, we can see how this would play out right now. Luna, it's time for a change of character. Celestia, just so you know, this is nothing personal, strictly business. Oh, who am I kidding, this is definitely personal, and I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it! I hope you will too, beloved. Both of you, this is Deadliest Pony, and in the words of my favorite UMvC3 fighter:
So now that our fighters are ready, the data's been plugged in, we can see how this will play out. But don't worry, my little ponies, I'll be stopping the action every once and a while to comment on this gorefest. NightmareDash, take it away!
Celestia stood on the observation platform, outside her quarters, watching the sky. It looked like evening outside, but somehow she felt that it was premature. The moon was rising too early. Behind her, a dark figure materialized from the shadows, coated in an aura of darkness.
"Surely you knew this day was coming, sister."
Surprised by a voice she thought dead, Celestia spun around on the platform, looking back into her room. In front of her stood a menace she did not believe could have returned.
"Luna, what is this? Why do you look like Nightmare Moon?"
"Because I am Nightmare Moon! Isn't it obvious? You didn't honestly think this side of me would disappear, did you? After all, you can't get rid of me without killing your precious little Luna! So I've hung back in my shadows, plotting, waiting. And now, vengeance will be mine."
"Luna, snap out of this! This isn't you! You're stronger than her!"
"Oh my... you still think we're separate entities! How many times will it take before you figure it out, sister? Luna and Nightmare Moon are one and the same! Nightmare Moon is just what happens when Luna gets pissed. And guess what? She's pretty damn pissed at you. Twice before you've attacked me, the first time to keep total power, the second to show off your new lapdogs. Let's hope three is a charm."
"If you've really gone evil for good, sister, then you are a threat to Equestria... I will do what I must."
"Keep telling yourself that, sister. It'll work just as well as it didn't when you sent me to the moon."
"Please, Luna. I'm giving you one last chance. Forget this. Let's be sisters again. I don't want to fight you. After what happened the first time, you don't know what I went through."
Nightmare Moon disappeared, leaving Luna in her place. She was sobbing, looking completely weak and pathetic.
"Please, Tia, help me! She's trying to take control of me again! Tia, help! I'm scared!"
With the whimper accompanying this last phrase, Celestia's family instincts took over. She ran from the balcony to her sister's side, leaning down to comfort her.
"I won't let her, Luna. I'm going to protect you this time."
She craned her neck around Luna's, nuzzling her. But she felt her head lifted upward, as Luna changed back into the much taller Nightmare Moon. Her elongated horn glowed a sickly blue, and she twisted her head sideways, driving her horn into her sister's shoulder.
"Gotcha!"
Ooh, the cheap shot! Celestia falls for it every time!
Immediately feeling the effects of not only the stab wound, but the magical poison, Celestia crumpled to the floor.
"Poison... how could you?"
"It's easy, if you know how. You were always too soft, sister. It was your biggest weakness, and I'm glad to see you still have it. And you made the mistake of trusting me, Equestria's public enemy #1!"
"Ugh... guards!"
"You're wasting your time, sister. They are, how should I say, occupied at the moment."
Outside the doors of Celestia's quarters, a fierce battle was raging in the halls. A squadron of Equestrian Royal Guardsponies had met a strike force of Lunar Guards, each side having one earth pony, two pegasi, and two unicorns each. They were already engaged in combat, with the earth ponies fighting closest to the door. The two were trading blows, sometimes dodging, sometimes absorbing the impact with their armor. This duel continued evenly, until the ERG tried to swing around and buck the LG. This proved to be a mistake, as the LG slid under his hind-legs and beneath him. The LG kicked out the ERG's forelegs with his hind-legs, grabbing onto the bucking hooves with his own. The ERG was now supported entirely on top of the LG, hoof-to-hoof. He rolled the ERG over, reversing positions so that he was on top. He then bucked, aiming low with his hooves and knocking off the ERG's helmet. With his head now exposed, he stood no chance against the LG's ensuing curb stomp, immediately going out cold.
Above them, in the large clearance the hallway afforded, two pairs of pegasi were dueling. The LG pegasi had had an advantage at the beginning, but somehow the ERG had gotten a second wind. One of them descended upon an LG, slamming him out of the sky from above. He power-dove, grabbing the LG off the ground and dragging him across the room. At the last possible second, he let go, pulling up and allowing the LG to crash into the wall. He was out. The ERG's eyes turned to his partner, who had been engaged by the other LG. They were grappling in the air, until the LG grabbed around the ERG's waist, pulling his wings shut. No sooner had this happened than they both careened through a large stained-glass window at the end of the hall. The LG, unable to support both of their weights, dropped from the sky towards a jagged crevice below. He pulled in his wings, intentionally accelerating the descent.
"Are you crazy? We'll both be killed if you don't let go!"
"No concern to me. Long live Princess Lunaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
The LG continued to shout as they disappeared into the rift. A second later, there was an audible "thud" from the bottom.
Dang, they are hardcore.
Outside the palace walls, two ERG unicorns stood guard, keeping the castle in lockdown. Their presence was commanding, but from half a mile away, they looked a lot less intimidating through an LG unicorn's telescopic-lense goggles. He stared down one of them from afar, and his horn began to glow. After a quick charge-up, the silence of the area was shattered by a single beam of darkness, moving at lightspeed. It tore through the ERG's armor, punching a hole cleanly through his stomach and leaving scorch marks in the castle wall. It was only visible for a second, but it was long enough for the other guard to spot the LG sniper. He hurled a ball of magical energy upwards, arcing towards him. The sniper tried to run for cover, but somehow the shot was adjusting its course with his movements. Streaking down upon him, it rocketed into the ground at his hooves, blasting him upward. If he was alive after the blast, he certainly wasn't when he hit the ground. The ERG returned to his fallen comrade, only to find a corpse: there was no hope of revival. But there was little time for grievance: he caught sight of another LG approaching at full gallop. He drew back into a fighting stance, and launched a pulse bolt at him. The LG sidestepped it, and jumped into the air. Upon landing, he fired his own stream of bolts. The ERG rolled away from them, and they both started to circle each other.
"No treachery will go unpunished, lunar guardstallion. Reconsider your position."
"I would advise you to do the same. Oppression shall never prevail while I draw breath."
Illuminating their horns with magic, both guards charged headlong at each other. When they met, their horns clashed with a reverberating crack. Sparks flew from both unicorns as they struck the other's horn, in what would be considered an Equestrian form of fencing. Parry followed attack, and the indecisive battle continued. Neither side could gain any sort of edge, until the LG backflipped away from the confrontation.
"Coward!"
"No. Victor."
No sooner had the words been spoke than a navy-blue tendril of magic spawned from the LG's horn. It snaked across the ground, catching the awe-struck guard by a front hoof. Twisting his head back, the LG yanked him towards him, and timing his back hooves, delivered a powerful buck. He then swung his head around, flinging the guard through the air and pulling him down behind him. The tendril unwound, but slinked upwards, towards the ERG's neck. It recoiled itself there, already tightening around him. The LG nodded, slinging the ERG's head to the ground as he gasped for air. An ever-dwindling supply came to him, and soon it was barely enough to speak.
The LG walked over to his captive, the noose shortening as he grew closer. Bracing himself, he violently swung his head to the right, snapping the ERG's neck in the process.
"Shut up, you old fool."
The tendril dissipated, and his magical focus shifted to his mind. He was using a kind of telepathy, enabling other guards to hear him.
"This is Blackout. Targets eliminated, all forces move in. Prepare to storm the palace."
Watch out guys, we're dealing with a badass here.
From hidden posts a mile away, an army of Lunar Guards overran the palace's exterior defenses, preparing to begin a siege. As they breached the inner gates of the courtyard, they found an equal army of Equestrian Royal Guards waiting for them. Battle commenced immediately, as both lines charged each other. Shadowbolts and Wonderbolts dueled in the skies, and magical bolts flared across the field from both sides. Back in the castle, Nightmare Moon took her sister's poisoning as the perfect chance to gloat.
"You foal, you thought you could oppress me for millennia on end, and I would just take it? Then you banish me for a thousand years, hoping to do what, make me think about what I'd done? Please, sister, you are no longer my mother. Time-outs do not work on me. Those centuries were painful, but they gave me plenty of time to brood. And experiment with magic, I might add. You'd be surprised what one can do out of sheer boredom. But now I've returned, and we are equals, as it was meant to be. But the day has reigned supreme for too long. Night has earned an equal period of superiority, and so it shall be."
But returning her eyes to her sister, she found her up on her feet and ready to fight.
"I may still be soft, Nightmare Moon, but you are still talkative. It gave me a chance to heal your dark poison. And please don't call me sister anymore. My sister died when you came to be."
"Very well, tyrant."
Nightmare Moon charged at Celestia, horn lowered for another stab. Celestia leapt over her, using her wings to extend her jump. Nightmare Moon spun around, ready to strike again, but Celestia beat her on the counterattack. She loosed a string of magical bolts, forcing Nightmare Moon to jump and dodge about. By the time she was back on all four hooves, her target was already preparing a stronger blow. Celestia's wings were spread, her horn was glowing, and small pellets of magic were forming about her. With a mighty gust from her wings, she unleashed a Thermal Barrage. Bullets of pure solar energy streamed throughout the battleground, constantly following Nightmare Moon. She used her wings and magic to dodge and block as best she could, but it eventually caught up to her: she was floored by a burst of shots. Wasting no time, Celestia charged ahead and leapt up to deliver the killing blow. But as she descended upon her foe, her outstretched hoof met only stonework. She looked around to see a cloud of neon navy-blue gas about her, remnants of Nightmare Moon's physical form. Celestia constantly turned about, waiting for her to rematerialize. But it was for naught: Nightmare Moon was able to spring up behind her and buck her off her hooves. Celestia tumbled foward, and though she quickly uprighted herself, it was too late to avoid another attack. A dark beam of energy reaching from Nightmare Moon's horn coiled aorund her torso, stunning her with shadowy power. But after the shock subsided, the beam was still there, and Celestia could feel herself losing energy, becoming weaker every second.
"I expected you would be surprised, Celestia. I developed this technique on the moon, just to use on you. Not your smartest idea, was it? Every second it holds on gives me more of your strength. Can't you just feel yourself weakening?"
Ignoring the invitation for banter, Celestia charged herself with a low amount of sunlight, spreading a white infection across the draining beam and knocking back Nightmare Moon as it got to her. Noticing this effectiveness, Celestia had an idea. Nightmare Moon regained her hoofing, only to find Celestia staring her down, clad in white, magical armor.
"I remember the Solar Cloak. Then the endgame begins; so be it."
Both princesses charged each other, soon trading blows and parrying quickly. But every connection knocked Nightmare Moon back a little, until Celestia landed a solid head slam, taking her to the ground. She was back up momentarily, and took to her wings in an effort to avoid direct combat, However, this approach was flawed, as Celestia was able to fly as well, and getting level with her foe, began an aerial combination of kicks, punches, and body-blows. Smashing Nightmare Moon to the floor below, Celestia dropped to the masonry as well. She walked closer until she stood over Nightmare Moon, charged her horn, and prepared to deliver the final blow.
"No mercy this time. No banishment, no second chances. No regret, no guilt, nothing. Only killing you, and protecting Equestria."
"Go ahead. You've proven my point perfectly."
Celestia, unprepared for the response, flinched at the possibility.
"What do you mean?"
"You've become a tyrant, Celestia. I saw it first, and look at what you did to me. You gained a thousand years of pure dictatorship, no sharing of power, no accountability, no checks or balances. Not that it wasn't like that in the first place. But now that you're putting me down for good, the rest of Equestria will see you for the oppressive ruler you are. My guards may have to push the process along a little, but you'll find that nothing helps a cause better than a martyr. I may be gone today, but tomorrow it will be your little ponies with you in their sights. And one of two things will happen: they will either bring you down, or you will have no Equestria to rule. Either way, I may die, but you are the real loser."
Wow, I guess I taught her more than I thought.
"No! That will never happen!"
"Of course it won't. It could never happen in Equestria, most noble Celestia's dream of perfection come true! But that perfection is like your armor: all I need is one chink."
Rested, Nightmare Moon sublimated into her mane, but quickly reformed below Celestia, kicking her in the stomach. Celestia flew backwards, and somehow landed on her hooves. Her armor was holding up, but Nightmare Moon had released her own stream of magical energy bolts. They came upon Celestia at great speed, bouncing off her armor in a continuous line of shots. But no sooner had the blitz stopped than Celestia fell back into weariness, dropping her magical armor. She slowly returned to her hooves, only to find her enemy gone.
"Where are you, Nightmare Moon? Show yourself and fight me!"
"What's wrong, princess? Did I wear out the battery on your favorite toy?"
Before Celestia could respond, a tentacle of magical gas shot out of the darkness, solidifying and punching her in the face.
BOOM! Headshot!
Several more tentacles materialized across the room, striking her from random directions, then retracting. After several hits, a beaten and weary Celestia fell to her knees on the floor. In response, Nightmare Moon dropped from the rafters above. She approached Celestia, and her mane began to grow. It eventually became gaseous, and she tossed it foward, enveloping her enemy's face. Celestia could not find any oxygen to breath, face completely surrounded by the gas. She began to cough and sputter, and keeled over as she looked at her sister.
"Luna.... please.... no...."
"It's too late for that, Celestia. As you said before, Luna is dead. Only Nightmare Moon remains."
Her body, heart, and now hope broken, Celestia layed her head to the ground, closing her eyes, never to open them again. Nightmare Moon stared upon her, watching the vibrance in her hair fade and her body begin to lose its luster. She retracted her mane, and turned from Celestia's corpse.
"It is done. No more interference. Now, the night shall last FOREVER!!!"
And welcome back from the battle. This's been one hell of a pilot episode, ain't it, folks? Now, we can break things down a little and look at the battle in our first episode of Deadliest Pony: Aftermath! We're going to see what carried the fight, and how Nightmare Moon took her revenge on Princess Celestia. Then we'll answer some of your questions, which you can post right here! First off, The Stats. From a thousand battles, here's how many kills each weapon got. Keep in mind this is only Celestia and Nightmare Moon one-on-one and guard teams against each other, so Celestia's weapons only killed Nightmare Moon, vice-versa, same with guards, yadda yadda...
Celestia Solar Cloak: 253 Thermal Barrage: 202 Total: 455
So now, let's go through the weapons and see how they each did.
Solar Cloak was Celestia's best attack, and garnered a majority of her kills. This is mainly because it works both defensively and offensively. In addition, because it is pure solar energy, it is particularly harmful to a creature of the night like Nightmare Moon. Its biggest limitation is that, comparatively speaking, it lacks offensive capabilities, instead being mainly a buff to enhance Celestia's melee combat. And as we saw in the sim, it is very energy-consuming to use, and this weardown was ultimately a factor in Nightmare Moon's victory.
Thermal Barrage fared noticably worse, but not by a massive amount. Its main weakness was that Nightmare Moon, being black in color and thus better suited to stealth, could easily conceal herself in darkness and dodge, block or entirely avoid the shots. But even then, as we saw, they still had some effect. Against another enemy, it probably would have been more effective, just not Nightmare Moon.
Horn Stab fell on the low end of Nightmare Moon's attacks, barely coming up better than Thermal Barrage. There were a few reasons for this. One, if Celestia had used Solar Cloak, this attack just couldn't break through, so the only hope was to hit a weak spot or gap in the armor. This did happen once or twice, but in the perspective of a thousand battles, that's too rare to make any kind of difference. Two, as we saw, Celestia has plenty of skill in healing magic, and though the poison was more advanced and difficult to cure, she was able to do it. However, this was another energy-drainer, weakening Celestia significantly. This worked for kills mainly when Celestia was too tired to cure the poison, or never given the chance to.
Nightmare Mist was the most effective weapon on the battlefield, wielded expertly by Nightmare Moon. She used it several times to escape from Celestia's attacks, and to reposition herself for better ones. In the end, versatility was the name of the game: there were just so many ways Nightmare Mist could kill Celestia! We saw the suffocation bit, but it also caused the castle to cave in on her, solidified inside her vital organs, became several other weapons, and a number of other delightfully gruesome techniques. One particularly interesting sim had Nightmare Moon envelop the room in Nightmare Mist and make it a kind of fear toxin, then using a few stage tricks and dark magic, caused Celestia to frighten herself into a heart attack! I really should try that sometime. Assassination plots aside, Nightmare Mist was so powerful and versatile that Celestia just didn't have a way to block it out entirely; it would just find a new way to attack.
The Equestrian Royal Guard found its advantage in superior numbers and royal backing. They had all of Equestria behind them, and this meant they were better armed, better supplied, and better supported in an actual war. Their inclusive admittance policies also meant that they had a personnel advantage, about a 3-to-1 ratio. They knew how to fight, but unfortunately, their lack of experience in large-scale warfare made them less effective. Relegated to what is essentially police-work, they just don't have that combat edge to win.
The Lunar Guard was entirely different in this regard, training regularly in military scenarios to keep themselves sharp. They were also more diversely trained, using experience in sabotage, stealth, and as we saw, assassination to outmaneuver their opponents. And when this was coupled with their magically-augmented physiques, the Lunar Guard was a force to be reckoned with. They were lacking on the numbers side, but made up for this with superior hoof-to-hoof combat skills. Their status as a fringe group would also work against them in an all-out war, ruining logistics and supply lines. But with the element of surprise, they never had to face such a situation. In the end, these two groups were even more evenly matched than their leaders, but the better training and physical edge of the Lunar Guard gave them the advantage.
X-Factors played out very importantly in this battle, some even I didn't anticipate. Here are just a few:
Psych Warfare: Nightmare Moon was playing mind games with Celestia the entire time. She had a thousand years to analyze her sister's every weakness, and found a big one in her lingering love for Luna (say that three times fast!). This made Celestia easy to decieve, and her naivete didn't do her any favors, either. Celestia had held the throne for several centuries unopposed, and, just like her guards, this lack of experience played against her. Nightmare Moon used her words to her advantage, playing on Celestia's emotions, loves and fears; I'm almost jealous.
Surprise: Like I said before, Nightmare Moon's forces had the element of surprise on their side. Celestia no doubt expected Luna to reintegrate into Equestrian society, so this attack came as a shot in the dark to her. Catching their enemies off guard with one powerful strike meant the LG never had to face extended warfare, which they undoubtedly would've failed at.
Motivation: Nightmare Moon was on a hell-bent quest for revenge, and nothing was going to stop her. She would keep fighting until she got it, and this pushed her through a difficult fight with Celestia. Her anger became a kind of fuel for her. Celestia's fighting spirit was never completely there, as she knew she was fighting to kill her own sister. She was still feeling guilt for banishing Luna to the moon, and being reminded of this by Nightmare Moon, her fighting was always half-hearted. And in the end, convinced that the old Luna was gone, Celestia gave up hope, losing the will to live and choosing to die there rather than continue the fight.
So in the end, Nightmare Moon kept Celestia fighting emotionally with some clever words, and used an extended fight to wear her down. Using techniques that drained Celestia's energy, she was able to outlast her sister and break her in the end. Now that we've looked at how this battle was fought and won, let's see what the viewers have to say! Leave your comment or question on this page, and NightmareDash and I will work together to answer a couple of them. Check back periodically to see if we choose yours. Go ahead, get asking!
Nikent63 asked: "What X-factors played in Celestias favor you only listed Lunas?"
Very well then, if you insist on being fair. NightmareDash, can you pull up descriptions on some of Celestia's winning X-Factors?
Environment: Most battles of the thousand turned out as castle-siege scenarios. This meant that Celestia's forces had the high ground, and Nightmare Moon was put in a weaker attacking position. Aside from Nightmare Moon as Luna and a few LGs, the rest of Nightmare Moon's army had to force their way into the palace. They had to navigate unfamiliar territory, and despite training with diagrams of palace schematics beforehand, they were still out of their element. The ERGs, having worked at the palace for most of their lives, knew the place inside out. They knew choke-points, strengths and weaknesses in the design, and alternate routes to various locations. This was a strong tactical advantage.
Logistics: We didn't really see it here, but Celestia had a strong command of logistics. She essentially controlled all of Equestria's resources, from foodstuffs to metals, and had the means to get them where she wanted them. If we had seen a prolonged war, this would have become a major benefit, which the Lunar Guard particularly lacked. In the sim, we saw that the ERG was able to quickly muster in the courtyard, armed and ready to fight, in response to the LG attacks.
Mental Stability: Yes, believe it or not, this is an X-Factor we calculate. Nightmare Moon's drive for revenge, inspiring and motivational as it might have been, made her impulsive. She did plan out the attack in advance, but in the heat of battle, when she found herself in a situation unplanned-for, she had a tendency to act emotionally. This, plus a thousand-year isolation on the moon, made her mentally unstable, occasionally prone to psychotic episodes. Celestia, on the other hand, had several millennia's experience managing the largest and strongest country on the planet. This made her a more natural leader, and gave her a sense of cool-headedness and calmness under pressure. Nightmare Moon's wordplay did break through this sometimes, but otherwise, she's about as mentally sound as you can get.
As you can see, most of the X-Factors that leant towards Celestia would have been more visible in a large-scale war campaign. Knowing this, Nightmare Moon elected to go for a single, decisive strike to end her and take over.
Twilight Sparkle: Apprentice to Princess Celestia, and one of the most powerful unicorns Equestria has ever seen!
Rainbow Dash: Acrobatic queen of the skies, a pegasus powerhouse with unmatched aerial prowess!
Who is deadliest?
Welcome back to Deadliest Pony. I'm your host, Discord. Tonight, we're going to pit two of Ponyville's greatest fighters against each other and see who comes out on top. With the aid of our Fight Club and combat experts, we will be able to determine exactly who is the Deadliest Pony! These two are part of those dinky little Elements of Idiocy, and they've been good friends for some time. So tonight, we get to have some of the best, most wholesome family fun you can find in Equestria: tearing apart close friendships! But as always, before we get to that, we have to have our history lessons. Now, I've turned both of these two into complete opposites of themselves, so I know them inside and out. But after the last episode, I've decided that talking all the time is kinda boring. So I'm going to start bringing in "experts" on some of our fighters, when I can find them. But if I want to do it myself, I will; God of Chaos, remember? But anyway, here's our expert for Twilight: Spike is a baby dragon, and Twilight's own personal doormat, erhm, I mean assistant.
"Hey, I'm not Twilight's doormat!"
Uh-huh, sure you aren't. But get on with the backstory, kid.
"Urgh, whatever you say. I only knew Twilight when she hatched me from an egg. Boy, what a fiasco that was. Being in an egg is like taking a really long nap, and when she hatched me, it was like slapping me awake. She literally made me fifty feet tall as soon as she hatched me, the ceiling was forty feet up, and so I went..."
You're digressing, kid.
"Oh, am I? Man, I was. So, anyway, Twilight was born to two unicorns in Canterlot, the second of their two foals, next to her brother, Shining Armor. She showed magical talent from a very young age, and a passion for learning. Keep in mind, F.Y.I., that this is all based on what she's told me about herself. So after a few years in a standard elementary school, including an unpleasant experience with magic kindergarten, her parents moved her to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. That's where I come in, at the entrance exam. She hatches me, and in the process become's Celestia's personal student. Then we fell into a rut for a couple years, with both of us maturing and Twilight learning all she could about magic under Celestia's tutelage. But man, was it boring, let me tell you! I remember this one time, Twilight couldn't find a book about cryptozoology, and she never said why, but she really wanted it, and..."
I hate to interrupt, but...
"Whoa! What the heck is that?"
It's a God of Chaos thing. You wouldn't get it. But unless you want me to start ni-ing you, get this story moving and done. My viewers are getting bored!
"Alright, alright, whatever that means. So anyways, we kind of fell into obscurity for a while, until last year's Summer Sun Celebration. The rest is history; Twilight predicts Nightmare Moon, gets sent to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon shows up, Twilight and friends find Elements of Harmony and blast her. Then you show up, and we repeat the process. Finally, you have that deal with Shining Armor, Cadence, Chrysalis and the changelings, and that brings us back to where we are today. To sum it up, Twilight's proved herself to be one of the most powerful and intelligent unicorns in Equestria, and given the kinds of battles she's won, I don't think Rainbow Dash stands a chance."
Well, that's what we're going to find out, isn't it? But at least you're done. Don't worry, loyal viewers, we're half-way through the boring part! All we need is to hear about Rainbow Dash's history, then we can get on to the weapons! So let's bring out the Rainbow Dash expert. A chicken who'll show us games to play, it's Scootaloo!
"Hey, I am not a chicken! And what does that last part even mean?"
Believe me, kid, you don't want to know. And sorry, viewers, but I keep forgetting that my experts aren't in on these kind of jokes like we are. They're still bound by the laws of reality! Oh, how I pity them! But no matter, get on with the backstory.
"Oh, you want me to talk about Rainbow Dash? Alright! She's, like, the most awesome pony that ever was! She is 20% cooler than anything else in Equestria, and dang, look at how fast she is! She's like the definition of amazingness! Literally, if you were to take all of the coolest things in Equestria and combine them..."
Dear Faust, she's worse than the last one. Scootaloo! I asked you for a report on Rainbow Dash's past, not your personal opinion on how great she is. One word, filly: objectivism! Get some!
"Alright, jeez, you don't have to go psycho on me. But a history report on Rainbow Dash. Sure, I can do that. Here's what I know about her. She was born in Cloudsdale and raised by a single mother. She had a rough life as a filly, trying to make due in Equestria's lower class. She lead a pretty boring life for a few years, until her mother died in a weather-factory accident, leaving her an orphan. Dash was heartbroken, but she didn't have much time to grieve. Losing most of what she owned to pay off her mother's debts, she found herself faced with the unpleasant prospect of a state orphanage. When the headmistress arrived to take her, she literally ran away, flying out of her old house to escape. She learned that day that it payed to think fast and move faster. This led to Dash's years on the streets of Cloudsdale. She began training herself to fly faster, leading her through several flight camps. At these camps, she built several important connections, such as meeting Gilda, Fluttershy, and eventually performing a Sonic Rainboom and earning her Cutie Mark. And it's been awesomeness for her ever since. Lacking options after graduating from the most advanced flight school she could get into, she followed Fluttershy to Ponyville. There, she signed on with the government as head of weather management for the area. But she maintains her highest dream to this day: joining the Wonderbolts flight team."
Good enough, kid. So sum up Rainbow Dash for me; you can be more opinionated here. Tell Equestria what to expect from her.
"Oh, that's easy. Rainbow Dash is the definition of speed, and there is nopony even remotely in her league. We're going to see her fly circles around that egghead Twilight Sparkle."
Ooh, Twilight just got burned! But enough smack talk. Let's get on to everypony's favorite part: the weapons! Like last time, we're going to look at short-range, long-range, special abilities, and X-Factors. So bring on the destruction! Spike, what does Twilight have in her arsenal for short-range?
"Well, let's see, she has the mustache thing, the want-it-need-it spell, no, no... Aha! I've got one! When she's going short-range, Twilight isn't afraid to drop back to basics. So her spell of choice is the Force Bolt! Quite simply, she fires a short burst of magical energy as a single shot. It's strong, fast, and easy to use. And its strength comes in numbers; Twilight can shoot them off in groups of 20 or more at a time, because they don't take much energy to make. So when she sees something she wants to destroy (like a Trixie poster), she just points and shoots, and bam, no more target."
Sounds nice. Scoots, anything Rainbow Dash can fire back with?
"Are you kidding? She could just dodge those little magicy bullets all day long! Like I said, she's going to fly circles around Twilight Sparkle, and I mean that! Rainbow Dash's short-range attack is called the Hurricane. You've seen it plenty of times before: she starts flying in a circle, and picks up speed. Pretty soon, she's moving so fast that she makes a small tornado! It can suck up anything in the air or on the ground around it, including Twilight Sparkle. And whatever's inside is getting thrown around and battered by everything else inside. It's not only strong, but it looks awesome in the process."
Alright, fangirl opinions aside, that does sound pretty impressive. So which one wins? Let's take a look. Force Bolt is your run-of-the-mill magic gun; dependent on line-of-sight, low energy cost, decently strong but easy to dodge. Hurricane is more powerful, but it's only a single attack. If Twilight can escape from that area of effect, it doesn't really do much to her. But if Rainbow Dash dodges a Force Bolt, Twilight can just shoot off another one. Not to mention Hurricane has a build-up time and is more exhausting to use.
In the short-range category, the edge goes to the Force Bolt. Let's move on to long-range. Spike?
"Long-range? I think I've got something for you. If you know jack about magic, you know this one, and Twilight knows it better than anyone: Telekinesis. If she can see it, she can grab it, and if she can grab it, there's a lot she can do with it. She can throw it across Ponyville, or bring it up close to her. She can slam it into a wall, or rip it in two. Basically, what can Rainbow Dash do when she doesn't even control her own body?"
"Oh please! Rainbow Dash is too fast for that! She's, like, the fastest thing in Equestria, duh! And she can use that speed! When she wants to hit you from a distance, she's got a little move I like to call the Speed Burst! Has someone ever brushed into you because they were moving too fast to get out of the way? This is like that, but a hundred times better. Rainbow Dash flies off, somewhere where you can't see her. From there, she shoots straight at you, so fast that you can't even see her coming. She's just a rainbow blur. She charges you head-on, knocking you down as she whizzes past. Then, before you can even get up, she zips at you from somewhere else, hitting you again! You could be pulverized from all directions in a matter of seconds, and never have seen what was attacking you!"
Both very impressive tactics. Telekinesis is one of my favorite tricks; I once used it to make Celestia keep hitting herself with her own hoof for almost an hour. It was just too funnny! But in all seriousness, telekinesis is a unique, powerful, and diverse ability. You can attack, block, and counterattack with the same power. But then again, if we're to believe Scootaloo, it's hard to counter when you can't even see what you want to attack. And the opportunity only lasts for the split-second Rainbow Dash is anywhere near you, and let's face it, nopony has those kind of reflexes. By the time Twilight tried to telekinetically attack, Rainbow Dash would be somewhere completely different. These two are just too evenly matched.
For long-range techniques, Telekinesis and Speed Burst are at a draw. Now we move on to special abilities. This means things that are harder to categorize, and may not necessarily be weapons. Spike, anything come to mind?
"Special abilities? I'd guess teleporting would be Twilight's thing there. Yeah, Teleportation! In a flash of light, Twilight can disappear and show up somewhere else instantly. From the other side of the room to the other side of Equestria, she can teleport anywhere. And then she can attack from where Rainbow Dash least expects it! Now, it does take more than a bit of energy to use, but what can you do when you can't even figure out where she is?"
And, cue Scoots' proud comeback...
"Guess what? Rainbow Dash doesn't even need to teleport! She's so fast, she might as well be teleporting! And her special ability is beyond 20% cooler than that. Mares and gentlestallions, the moment you've all been waiting for! You thought it wasn't real, you thought it was a myth! Well take a look, everypony, because it's real tonight! I give you, the one, the only, the Sonic Rainboom! Rainbow Dash gets flying up to mach speeds, exposing herself to 11 G's of force! Then, right at the perfect moment, BOOM! Rainbow Dash unleashes a massive explosion of rainbow energy by her own sheer speed! I don't care where Twilight's teleported to, the Rainboom will hit her, and it will take her down. And if Rainbow Dash hit her directly? I don't want to sound cocky (oh wait, yes I do!), but I'm calling that a one-hit K.O.. End of story, egghead."
Well, we've got the data on that, Scootaloo, so we'll just have to see. But you can't be far off the mark. The Sonic Rainboom is a dangerous release of large amounts of energy, in a radial blast that's next to impossible to avoid. If you were to focus all that energy on a point the size of Rainbow Dash's hoof, it would be enough to melt through reinforced steel plating a few feet thick. Teleportation can shake things up a little, but it's both defensive-oriented and an energy-drainer. It's pretty clear which way this is going.
In special abilities, the Sonic Rainboom takes the edge! Our final set of evaluations is at hand; let's look at a few X-Factors. You two shut it; I can handle this part myself.
Field Tactics: This is a warrior's ability to think on their feet and react quickly to changing situations. Twilight is an admitted egghead, but that's going to play in her favor here. She has studied more than a few military history books, so she knows her Art of War. Her repeated exposure to life-or-death situations has also gifted her with cool-headedness. However, Rainbow Dash also has this gift, though to a lesser extent. But she lives at high speeds by her very nature; she has to have reflexes to match. She probably has the best reaction speed a pony could ask for. But we valued Twilight's book knowledge a little higher, giving her an 85 and Dash an 80.
Stamina: A warrior's physical endurance and ability to take hits and continue fighting. Twilight may be smart, but she's only book-smart. She is most often found in her library, and rarely ventures outside the comforts of Ponyville. This means she's probably not in the best physical shape. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, has a very active job as weather manager. She's flying all day, pushing around clouds. And her hobby is speed flying; if asked, you know she'd tell you
""
We gave Rainbow Dash a 93, and Twilight Sparkle an 82.
Fieldcraft: This is how a warrior uses their environment to their advantage. For Twilight, this comes back to her knowledge of magic. She can use a wide variety of spells to manipulate the world around her, from transmutation to telekinesis. But this would be a distractor from actual combat, and Rainbow Dash is definitely going to take advantage of that. Dash's strength in fieldcraft is in her weather control. As a pegasus weather manager, she is experienced in creating all manner of weather phenomenon. Storms, sleet, tornadoes, or even just a torrential downpour, they're all valuable options. However, this would also take a while, and the availability of clouds is another limit. We gave her an 87, compared to Twilight's 92
Combat Experience: This one's a no-brainer. Once again, Twilight has the book smarts, but that doesn't equate to real experience. She's an upper-class nerd from Canterlot; that's about the most sheltered existence you can get. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was an orphan on the streets of Cloudsdale; she's probably been brawling all her life. Not to mention she has experience in infiltration, high-speed evasion, and several other combat skills. We gave Dash a 94, and Twilight a 75.
"Hey, that's not fair, Rainbow Dash should've won everything! She's way more awesome than Twilight could ever be! This is such a rip-off! I demand a recount! Why, I oughta..."
Faust, I'm getting irritated with her. I didn't want to do this, but I have no choice. Bring on the G3!
"Oh my Celestia, what is that? It's so freaky! I gotta get out of here!"
And, there goes the wall.
"I know, right? Man, that kid can be such a psycho. I remember this time where I tried to borrow her scooter, and it wasn't very much to ask, but she just wouldn't let me borrow it, and I don't know why, but she freaked out on me, and..."
Buck it, I'm getting tired of you, too.
"Oh, Miss Rarity, what are you doing here? Do you need something? Wait, where are you going? Don't worry, Miss Rairty! I'm coming with you! Wait up!"
And, there goes the other wall. Anyway, now that those two are gone, we can go on without distraction. Let's plug in the figures, run the sims, average it all up, and we're done. Twilight, drop your books and pick up your boxing gloves. Rainbow Dash, I expect this fight to be over in 10 seconds flat, but make it 20% cooler than our last episode. Now then, as a good friend of mine likes to say...
And we're back! The data's in, the sim's gone through a thousand times or so, and we have the results. Now, we average together each sim to create the most likely battle between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. Now, my two "experts" have flown the proverbial coop, but like last time, I'll drop in from time to time with my own color commentary. So, please keep all arms and legs inside the couch at all times, locate the emergency exits nearest to you (keeping in mind that the nearest exit may be behind you), and let's get this show on the road! Roll film!
Hey, I just noticed we have a horizontal rule tool now! The authors won't have to fake it anymore with lines of dashes! Thanks, knighty, Poultron, or whoever added that! NightmareDash, give me another one of those!
The Everfree Forest, being sparsely populated as it was, was a place of quiet. With next to nopony to disturb the peace, it became an easy escape from the noisy confusion of urban areas. Such was the reason it had been selected as Scootaloo's final resting place. The stone-carved marker stood alone in the field, dotting the clearing, surrounded by trees. But today, another sign of ponykind had appeared at the site: Rainbow Dash. She had been there for the funeral a week ago, but she needed some time alone, to clear her head and pay proper respects.
"I'm sorry, kid. I tried to save you, you know I did. But I just wasn't fast enough. Heh. Fastest pegasus in Equestria, but I'm still not fast enough to help my friends when they need me most."
It was a moment of silent reflection, which was soon interrupted by the arrival of another pony. A month ago, seeing this much traffic would have been annual occasion. Twilight Sparkle stepped from the treeline, towards Rainbow Dash.
"I thought I'd find you here. We need to talk about a few things."
Dash whirled around, infuriated at Twilight's gall to violate such a precious moment with pointless discussion. But that was only a spark, and soon, she was prepared to let loose every bit of rage and sorrow she'd been burdened with.
"Yes, we do. Like about the filly buried here. About how she died. About how you experimented with dangerous chemicals in the middle of Ponyville. And how then, those dangerous chemicals reacted, setting off an explosion right in the center of town."
"Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk about. But more about how you reacted in the situation. Like how you, the fastest and most capable pegasus in Ponyville, couldn't be bothered to find a rain cloud to put out the fire. Then how you raced away from the scene, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves."
"You mean how I saw Scootaloo dying under a fallen branch? How I freed her from the rubble, then raced her to Ponyville General? How I did everything possible to save her life? Yeah, let's talk about that."
Ooh, this is getting juicy!
"Good, I'll start. First, I don't really remember you racing off with Scootaloo. I remember watching my notes and books burn by the dozens, waiting for rain to put out the fires. But then the rain never came."
"Funny, I didn't see that part. I guess I was too distracted by Scootaloo lying lifeless in my hooves as I picked her up."
"I figured that was your best memory of the event, given how you didn't stick around to see it end."
"I was kind of busy."
"Yeah, well I'll fill you in. It ended with me homeless, everything I own in cinders, Spike scarred for life, and every last bit of knowledge I'd gathered here in Ponyville gone."
"Oh, that's a real heartbreaker. Rainbow Dash loses her best friend, but never mind, because Twilight Sparkle lost a tree and some dusty old books. That's the tragedy of the year right there, no doubt."
"You really don't get what was in there, do you? Did you think that I spent all my time in the library just sitting around, reading The Filliad? No, I was experimenting. I was working out problems. I was making a difference. What burned up in there were answers to things like hunger, disease, natural disasters, etcetera!"
"You can get those back! You should've been sending them to the Princess as soon as you had them. But you know what I can't get back? Scootaloo. All I have left of her are memories and this hunk of rock over here. But you don't really care about the value of life, do you? You only care about your books. Stupid. Bucking. BOOKS!"
"I care about saving a thousand ponies in the future above saving one filly in the present. But math never agreed with you, did it? You ignorant fool. About a hundred ponies will die a year from starvation alone. And their blood, along with that of a few hundred others, is now on your hooves. I hope you can live with that."
"I can. If the same thing happened tomorrow, I'd even do it all again. So now it's time for your guilt trip, you heartless bitch. Because you didn't even consider the possibility of something going wrong, you decided to play with dangerous chemicals in the middle of a densely-populated town. For somepony lauded as a genius like you are, you're really lacking in the common sense department. You could've easily moved out here, to this very field. Then we might be seeing scorch marks right now, not a tombstone. And because of your idiocy, that explosion ripped apart your precious library and crushed Scootaloo beneath a flaming branch. By the time I got to her, she was already burned from head to hooves, choking on smoke, and wounded all over her body. And all because she was walking by, in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the end, Twilight, you've got nopony to blame for the library and your notes but yourself. But that filly did nothing to earn this. She was completely innoncent, and look where she is now."
They both took a long look at the grave site, but Rainbow Dash wasn't done.
"You know, I was with her at the hospital. They had managed to shock her into consciousness, but only for a minute or so. I told her what happened, and she asked me to stay with her. I spent her final moments of life with her; we talked about all the fun she'd had with her friends, how nice things were in Ponyville, that kind of stuff. But at the end, she told me that she was an orphan, with no family at all, and that she'd always thought of me as the big sister she'd never had. So that was my parting thought with her. I got to watch as my little sister died, a slow and painful death, and I was powerless to help her. So her blood is now on your hooves. Live with that, bitch."
"You can dramatize all you want, but those kinds of situations are going to happen by the hundreds now that I've lost my research. You just can't look past yourself and see the big picture, Rainbow Dash. And it's going to cost Equestria dearly."
"You want to talk about cost? Scootaloo is dead. And you are responsible. You caused the needless death of an innocent filly. And that carries a pretty high cost in my book."
"Like I've been saying, multiply it by a thousand and turn it back on yourself. That's what you owe. Does my debt look so big now?"
"Yes, because it's a real one. And not just debt, it's a blood debt. And let me teach you something today: there's only one way to pay back a blood debt."
"Then I'll gladly collect yours."
And... cue the slaughterfest!
Rainbow Dash launched herself across the field, tackling Twilight before she could react. She slammed her head with her hooves several times over, until Twilight shot an energy bolt from her horn, blasting Rainbow off. Dash quickly picked herself back up, only to quickly sidestep another Pulse Bolt. Twilight was up and shooting now, and Dash took off to dodge her blasts. She flashed out her wings and raced upward, but Twilight kept following with Pulse Bolts. Dash looped back downward, flying directly in front of Twilight, then banking sharply around her. She followed through in a circle, accelerating all the while. Twilight had already given up trying to follow, and was now just waiting for Dash to slow down and give her a clean shot. But that was not going to happen, as a current of air began to cycle above her, in the shape of a vortex. Dash was executing a Hurricane. Twilight was lifted off of her hooves and spun about at a dizzing rate in the cyan twister. But this wasn't the dangerous part; a cloud of dust and rocks had been sucked from the ground, and was constantly battering her as she flew. She needed to escape.
Spotting a large tree on the other side of the storm, Twilight waited until she passed it, then grabbed on magically. It held her limp in the winds, dangling her back hooves behind her and painfully tugging at her neck. But it was enough; she had a decent moment of stillness to focus, and used it to Teleport out of the whirlwind. She dropped down in the field, safely away from the Hurricane. Still needing a way to get at Rainbow Dash, she ripped a tree from the ground telekinetically, and flung it at the light-blue cyclone. The storm was immediately broken, and Dash flipped away from the touchdown point uncontrollably. Bouncing across the ground, she came to land against the side of a tree trunk. Twilight ran to her crash spot, but didn't get cheap shot she was hoping for; Dash was already on her hooves and ready to fight.
Retreating upward, Rainbow Dash dove in for a high-speed tackle. Twilight sidestepped it, but Dash pulled back up for another pass. Swooping in quickly, she connected with a flying punch before Twilight could dodge again. She landed in front of her, then brought her back hooves up to buck. She launched the attack, but something held her hooves back before they could hit, suspending them in mid-air. Dash turned her head back, only to find Twilight's horn glowing, with a devious smile on her face. Soon the sensation affecting Rainbow's hooves spread to her whole body, and she was lifted up into the air. Twilight tilted her head to the left, and Dash was flung into a tree 30 hooves away. She was still held aloft, and with another tilt, Twilight threw her into another tree. She had turned her into a pony pinball, dragging her across the ground, then tossing her at some natural obstacle, and repeating the process.
"Why... won't...you...die!"
"Because I..oof!...have too much...ugh!...to live for."
Well, that, and she's made of iron.
In a final act of desperation, Twilight heaved Rainbow Dash across the field aimlessly, releasing her grip and hoping Dash would hit something hard. Fortunately for Twilight, she did; unfortunately for Twilight, that hard object was Scootaloo's headstone. Rainbow smashed directly into it, shattering the stonework into a thousand shards. She flipped head-over-hooves once, lying on the ground with her head pointed toward the desecrated grave. She opened her eyes to see the remains of the marker scattered around her, and a spark of rage flared in her eye.
Oh boy, Twilight's done it now.
"You shameless bitch..."
An enraged Dash rocketed out of her landing spot, reaching Twilight in a split-second. She slammed into Twilight, knocking her down but continuing past her. The Speed Burst had begun. Twilight picked herself up and looked around, seeing nothing but an empty field.
"Rainbow Dash, where are you, you coward? Come out and fight!"
Just behind her, another shot of rainbow light began, launching directly into her.
"Right here!"
Dash's hit knocked her off balance, and she stumbled to regain her hooving. But as soon as she was steady, a third blast whizzed by her, imperceptably hitting her. Dash seemed to be talking as she blew past every time.
"Murderer!"
Yet another bolt from nowhere sent her crashing into the dirt.
"You killed her!"
Again she was hit, but this time the burst picked her up from the ground, launching her into another spot.
"And vengeance..."
Another hit sent her spiraling into the air.
"...will..."
This shot was even faster, connecting with her in mid-air.
"...be mine!"
A white blast flung her into a tree, then disappeared. Twilight struggled to stand up, but she was able to, and this time got a moment to concentrate. Just as another Speed Burst attack came at her, she vanished in a flash of light, causing Rainbow to skid to a halt.
"Where'd you go, Twilight?"
But as the words left her mouth, a Pulse Bolt hit her in the side, knocking her to the ground. Dash sprung back up, scanning for the source. She immediately spotted Twilight, and took off towards her. But as she reached in for the punch, Twilight once again disappeared, leaving nothing but air for Dash to hit.
"Over here, Rainbow Dash!"
Dash heard a voice from her left side, and turned fast enough to notice and dodge the energy bolt coming at her. She once again raced for her target, but again Twilight teleported away. She was not gone for long, though. A split-second later, Dash took a bucking in the head from behind, flooring her. She kicked back up, bucking at where she expected Twilight to be. But once again, she met only air.
"What's the matter, Dash? Too fast for you?"
Twilight's voice came from her right side, and Dash spotted her and pursued again. But like before, she teleported away before she could attack. And as soon as she reached the spot, a Pulse Bolt blasted her from behind, sending her skidding forward. She looked back to see Twilight disappear again, and slowly stood back up. Twilight reappeared in front of her again, and Dash launched herself at her. But as soon as Twilight teleported away, Rainbow spun on her back hooves, punching at the air behind her. As her front right hoof extended, Twilight appeared around it, seemingly enveloping it in her body. She continued to shimmer with energy, the teleportation process having not been completed. A contorted grimace of pain appeared on her face, as Dash twisted her hoof around inside her.
"Fast, maybe, but you're too predictable for sure, Twilight. Ooh, is that your heart? I'm sorry; I didn't think you had one."
Done twisting about Twilight's innards, Dash quickly drew her hoof out, leaving Twilight to collapse on the ground. But with a quick glow of her horn, she was quickly back on her feet.
"Good thing I know my healing magic. Screw up my insides all you like, I'll just zap them back into place."
"Then I guess we'll just do things the old-fashioned way."
Dash flew into Twilight, tackling her and delivering a volley of punches. She bucked her in the gut, then pulled her up into the air. As she prepared to make the drop, Twilight's horn lit up again, and a solid beam of energy blew across Rainbow's face. She fell back, reversing their positions. On top, Twilight made the most of the gravity slam, thrusting Dash into the ground. She took some free shots of her own, connecting punch after punch. But Dash was still able to flap her wings, and Twilight was sent off-balance and fell off. Dash was quickly up again, ready to continue the brawl.
"Come on, Dash, give it up. You're running out of steam, but I could do magic like this all day. You can't win."
Almost as if Twilight's speech had worked, Dash took off above the cloudline. It seemed like a retreat, but Twilight knew better of Rainbow. She would sooner die fighting than run away. Twilight, therefore, continued to scan the sky, watching for a sneak-attack.
High above the clouds, Rainbow Dash was also searching, but had far more success than her enemy. She was looking for a thunderhead, and one had just drifted in. She pushed it to a seemingly random spot, then gave it a good buck. The thundercrack boomed through the forest, attracting Twilight's attention.
"Rainbow Dash, I know that's you! Come out and take your best shot at me!"
Sneaking above the cloud cover, Dash descended back to ground level. She was on the opposite side of Twilight from the thunderhead, and took advantage of her distraction to fly down, unseen. She whispered the rebuttal she knew she couldn't resist.
"I plan to, Twilight."
Leaping off her hooves, she quickly accelerated to amazing speeds. Her focus was locked on Twilight, who was still looking towards the storm cloud. A mach cone began to form around Rainbow Dash, and she knew it was the do-or-die moment. Summoning every bit of grief, anger, and vengefulness she could arouse in herself from Scootaloo's death, she pushed her body to its limit by pure willpower. A rainbow spark ignited at the tip of the cone, and polychromatic light flooded over her, making her into a colorful bullet. Her target was approaching at ever-increasing speed.
"Twiiiiiliiiiiiight!"
Just as Twilight turned to the source of the shout, Dash charged headlong into her, releasing a blast of rainbow energy and wind at the moment of impact. The two of them became tangled up in each other, tumbling across the field at mach speeds. They soon entered the treeline, carving a deforestated path through the forest. By the time they had slowed down and finally stopped, with undesired the help of numerous trees and shrubberies, each was wounded in numerous places, and scratches and bloodstains matted their coats. One of Dash's wings had been twisted in a seemingly impossible direction, and every part of her body ached. But fueled by the will to win, she was able to pull herself to her hooves, though with a limp. She looked over to Twilight, who was trying to do the same. She had propped herself up on a knee, but even that gave out, dropping her back to the ground. Her eyes closed at the same time, leaving her without a sign of life.
And welcome back to the Fight Club! That was a close one, am I right? We've already got questions coming in about the battle, but first, let's look at some stats from the sim. First, the kills:
Let's check out each weapon's post-battle evaluation.
The Hurricane technique was Rainbow Dash's worst weapon, and for a few reasons. First, if the battle was in close quarters (about 25% of the time), it was impossible to pull this off, simply because Rainbow Dash didn't have enough space to create a funnel. It's just not meant for CQB. Second, as we mentioned in testing, if Twilight could escape the area of effect, Dash was left in a particularly ineffective and vulnerable position. Finally, it's just tiring for Dash to perform, and the fatigue-to-damage ratio was too high to be effective.
Speed Burst shared the Hurricane's main flaw: ineffectiveness in CQB, once again as a case of space. However, it was far more effective in terms of damage potential. It also acted as a defensive technique, as Twilight could not attack or counter an opponent she couldn't see. It also took advantage of Dash's stronger physicality as a contact weapon. All in all, when Dash wouldn't (or couldn't) use a Sonic Rainboom, this was her advanced attack of choice.
Where do I begin with the Sonic Rainboom? It's just so frickin' strong! Just about every time Dash used it, it hurt Twilight in some way. At best, she was knocked off her hooves; at worst, like Scootaloo predicted, direct contact in ideal circumstances made for a one-hit KO. The Rainboom also suffered in limited space, and if Dash could pull it off, she was left racing at high speeds with quite a bit of force needed to slow down. The energy drain was significant, as well. But when it worked, boy, did it work. Further analysis led us to determine that the Rainboom's energy burst is spherical in nature, meaning it could hit Twilight wherever she was. If she was far enough away, she could often block the blast. But if she was too close, there was no way to deflect that kind of power, not to mention the prismatic flash often gave her temporary blindness. The Sonic Rainboom is, in the end, probably the most powerful single attack in terms of energy release we'll see on this show, only dampened by the fact that it's dispersed in all directions.
The Pulse Bolt attack, contrasting the Hurricane, had a very nice fatigue-to-damage ratio. It acts effectively as a weapon(like we said before, a magic gun), and at almost no energy cost to Twilight. She could churn out hundreds of these things and not even break a sweat. The only limitation was that each bolt was relatively weak, so when added to Dash's maneuverability and dodging skill, Twilight had to land quite a few of these to make any kind of dent on her.
Telekinesis was the battle's most deadly weapon, barely edging out the Sonic Rainboom. And, like Nightmare Mist from our last episode, it stems back to versatility. Twilight could use this ability in so many ways, against almost any other opponent it would've been unfair, a non-unicorn especially. She could (as we saw) slam Dash into objects, slam objects into Dash, hold Dash in place, and any number of other things. The limitations were that it took focus to grab and keep a hold of Dash, which was difficult when she was moving at mach speeds. In addition, this attack was very draining to Twilight, meaning she could rarely maintain it for more than 30 seconds at a time. Very powerful, but a technique that was rarely used extensively beyond once a battle.
In stark contrast, Teleportation was the worst-faring weapon of all. This is simply because it's a defensive maneuver, designed to dodge and disappear, but not really leading itself to a lot of offensive options. The few kills we recognized for it were from when Twilight used teleportation to counter or sneak-attack, or to escape a situation that would otherwise kill them both. Honestly, compared to a Sonic Rainboom, it just can't hold its own.
Even more so than last time, X-Factors were critical components of the simulation that gave deciding edges in battle. Here are my top picks.
Physicality: It should be obvious by now that Rainbow Dash can take an absurd amount of hits. She is, as TVTropes says, made of iron. This meant that it was extremely hard for Twilight to kill her by blunt trauma or concussive force. She could keep going and resist attacks that would've torn apart other ponies. This also allowed her to survive high-speed crashes and other dangerous situations that magic and flight produced when combined. Had it not been for this, we would've seen quite a different battle.
Fieldcraft: This skill came to the aid of both sides. Twilight was able to use her environment to disrupt Dash's sequence-based techniques, often telekinetically tossing a monkey wrench into the process. She also used telekinetics on her environment to create weapons or tools, or to shield herself from attack. But Rainbow Dash could control the weather, and this made a great ability for a variety of purposes. She often hid above cloud cover for concealment, and could use lightning strikes to attack Twilight.
Hoof-to-Hoof Combat: This one also played into Dash's favor, coming in with her all-around physical advantage. With her background of scrapping all her life, she was more equipped for fisticuffs or brawling. Being a pegasus, her light weight also made her faster and more agile. She could go hoof-to-hoof with the strongest Earth pony known and win, and Twilight could never surpass that. Twilight may know several fighting styles, but she is in no way strong enough to practice them, giving Dash a solid edge.
Alright, now let's head to our Questions section! Just a reminder, we are still open for questions on Celestia vs. Nightmare Moon, since only one user posted a question. So hit us up!
First question, by The Grey Pegasus: "...which of them do you think would be better in leading ponies in battle?"
Since neither Twilight nor Rainbow Dash command armies like our previous combatants, all of our battles were one-on-one. But isn't leadership an X-Factor, NightmareDash? Go ahead and bring it up. Oh, by the way, he says we consolidated field leadership and long-term strategic command into one category.
Leadership: A pony's ability to command and lead their followers in warfare. Twilight, being a book-smarts genius, is very well-versed in tactical knowledge. She's also probably read a few books on how to lead, meaning she knows the by-the-books approach to leadership. However, her at-best developing social skills don't do her any favors, and Rainbow Dash is a more natural leader. This stems from her years of leadership on the Ponyville Weather Team. Her rough upbringing makes her a more down-to-earth commander, and allows her to make tough decisions with a minimum of time-wasting. And, alas, no leadership opportunities to be found in isolated studying. For experience, we gave Rainbow Dash an 87, compared to Twilight's 83, though this was a relatively inconsequential X-Factor in the end.
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