> oneshots
>  by sci-fi fanatic
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Lyra meets Jake from state farm (Funny)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyra trotted happily towards the library. She couldn't wait to check out some magic spell books and some books about humans. Bon bon had really been on her case about that lately, and so she felt that some time to herself would do her some good. She walked into the library and the bell that signaled here arrival chimed softly. "Hello Lyra." Twilight Sparkle was organizing some books while Spike was snoozing on a small reading table. Twilight frowned when she saw this and went over and shook him awake. He grumbled at this, and went upstairs pouting before Twilight could make him do any work. 
"How May I help you?", Twilight continued.
"Oh, you know, the usual.", Lyra said with a sheepish smile. She walked over to a shelf labeled Fantasy. She never understood why nopony believed in humans. As she was browsing, a new book caught her eye. It was called Magic with humans. She quickly grabbed it, checked it out, and left the library. 

Lyra went to the top of a hill to read the book. Suddenly, as if the book had a mind of its own, it flipped to a page. There were many articles on the page, but she randomly chose one. It was called The jingle. Wow,that's an odd name, , she thought. It looked to be some sort of spell. She read it, and then re-read again. It seemed to be a jingle, hence the title of the page. 
"Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.", She read.
Suddenly, a male human appeared right in front of her.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gooooosh, she thought. She had so many questions to ask the human. Not even sure if he spoke Equestrian, she asked the first question.
"What's your name?", She asked
Surprisingly calm, the human answered back
"My name is Jake. From State Farm.", He said.
Thinking that From State Farm was part of his name, she asked the next question.
"What is that you're wearing, Jake From State Farm?"  Boy, human names are really weird, she thought.
Not really understanding what this crazy unicorn was talking about, Jake gave the best comment he could think of.
"Uhhh... cackys."
Lyra just giggled. This human was funny. 


Far, far away, on earth, a woman was getting angry.

Jake heard his phone ring, and reluctantly answered it. 
"Where are you?", demanded his angry wife.
"I'm with Lyra from Equestria." 
"Lyra from Equestria at three in the morning? Hand the phone to her right now!" 
Lyra reluctantly took the phone.
"Who is this?!!", demanded the angry wife
"Um..Lyra from Equestria."
She handed the phone back to Jake.
"She. Sounds. Hideous.", said Jake's wife.
"Yeah, well she's a pony so..." 
Just then, a tune that sounded very similar to the spell sounded, and Jake disappeared and Lyra walked back home.
Well, that was a weird day., thought Lyra, as she walked home.


> Rarity's new outfit
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Rarity walked into her house after a wonderful day. 
However, when she saw the inside of her house, she screamed. 
All of her beautiful dresses were torn.
She had worked hard on those dresses, and seeing them that way made her start to sob. 
After all, she had a tight schedule, being the best tailor in ponyville.  
What would everypony think of her? 
Surely, her reputation would be ruined. 
That was her worst fear, being judged by others. 
Suddenly, Luna appeared in front of her. 
"I understand that you're afraid of being judged. 
That is what we're all afraid  of, deep down inside. 
I want you to face your fears, little one.
To see what your friends think of you, I want you to make an outfit that you think is hideous, and wear it for one full day tomorrow. 
There is a lesson in all of this, but this is a lesson that you must learn on your own. 
Goodbye." 
And that's when Rarity woke up. 
Breathing hard, she made her way down the hall to get started on her outfit. 
After all, she was sure that the dream she had wasn't just a dream, and that princess Luna had really visited her. 
She picked out the ugliest color of fabric that she owned, mismatched buttons, and a long, yellpeice of fabric for a cloak. 
"This is going to be alot of work.", She muttered to herself. 
Then, she began her work.

The next morning, Rarity put on her new outfit, which consisted of a long, mud brown dress with millions of holes in it, a sickly yellowish green cloak, and a hat too small on her head.
She walked out of the door with sweat looting down her face. 
Oh sweet Celestia, what have I gotten myself into?, she thought.

The first pony she decided to visit was Applejack. 
She walked up to Sweet apple acres and knocked on her door.

When Applejack opened the door, she was very surprised. 
Standing in front of her was Rarity with the worst looking outfit she had ever seen her wear before on. With her mouth open agape, Applejack just stood there for a minute, until her cheeks grew red from embarrassment. 
"So, Applejack, how do you like my new outfit? I worked really hard on it last night.", Rarity said. 
"Uhhh... I guess it looks okay. Ah gotta go help Applebloom earn her cutie mark, okay? Bye!" 
Applejack hurriedly closed the door behind her.

Rarity walked down the road in silence. 
Whatever she had prepared in her mind that her friend would do, she certainly didn't expect this. 
Oh well, maybe she would have more luck with Fluttershy.

As Fluttershy was tending to the animals, she heard a knock at the door. 
She let out a small eep, and hid behind the couch. With a little convincing from Angel, she opened the door. 
She almost let out another eep when she saw what Rarity was wearing. 
"Um... hello Rarity, what can I do for you today?", asked Fluttershy.

"Nothing darling, I just wanted to get your opinion of my outfit.", replied Rarity. 
Not wanting to seem rude, Fluttershy invited Rarity inside. 
"No thank you, I think I'll be going now.", said Rarity.

"Surely Pinkie will like it.", Rarity muttered to herself.

Pinkie was expecting Rarity. She knew Rarity was on her way becau- "Hey, weird writer person thingy, don't you understand that you can't tell secrets? It's rude. Didn't your parents teach you manners? My parents taught me alot of things.
They taught me-" Anway, Pinkie was expecting Rarity. So, she prepared what she was going to say aboRarity's outfit in her head.
She wasn't going to say anything.
She was going to open the door and smile like a madmare until Rarity left. 
She then heard a knock on the door. 
Opening it, she put her plan into action.

Rarity knew Pinkie was strange, but she wasn't prepared to see the face of a madmare when she opened the door. 
She was about to ask Pinkie if she liked what she was wearing, when Pinkie started giggling like a madmare as well. 
Then, Pinkie started rolling on the ground in a laughing fit. 
Not knowing what to say, Rarity walked off. 
Maybe she would have better luck with Rainbow Dash.

After a little while of searching for Rainbow, Rarity found her reading a Daring Doo book.
Rainbow was so zoned out into the book that she failed to notice Rarity standing right in front of her.
After a few minutes of silence Rainbow let out an excited "Go Daring Doo, Go!!!"
It was only then that she noticed Rarity. 
Embarrassed, she stood up and made a circling motion with her hoof.
"So, how long were you standing there?", She asked.
"Long enough.", Rarity replied.
"I came here to see what you thought of this outfit I made last night.", Rarity, once again, said.
"It looks....unique. Yeah, that's the word, unique."
Well I'm glad you think so. Just then, it started to rain, and Rainbow hurried away to her home to avoid getting soaked.

Rarity was beginning to get upset. It seemed that nopony liked her outfit. 
Of course her friends had all said nice things, well, except for Pinkie, but she knew what they really thought. 
But she still had hope that Twilight would like it.

Twilight busily cleaned the library. 
She heard a knock on the door, so she answered it. 
There stood Rarity, standing there soaked, and looking a little more than sad.
Twilight was going to ask what was wrong, but Rarity started talking before she got the chance.
"Twilight, what do you think of my outfit?", She asked for the fifth time that day. "I-"  
Twilight wad interrupted by Spike.
"Rarity, what are you wearing?"
That was all it took before Rarity ran off sobbing.

Later a meeting with the elements of harmony was called into place. 
Everypony was there Except for Rarity. 
They were worried about her, and decided to all go and apologize.

Twilight knocked on Rarity's door. 
After a few minutes Rarity opened up. Rarity opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Pinkie. 
"We're all superduper sorry Rarity, we didn't mean to make you so sad."
"That's right sugarcube, we tried to say nice things so you wouldn't get your feelings hurt. But the truth is-"
"We all hate the outfit.", Rainbow rudely interrupted.
"But that doesn't change our opinion of you.", added Fluttershy.
"Yeah Rarity, we don't care what you wear, you're our friend and nothing can change that." 
Rarity wrapped all of her friends in a hug.

"Dear princess Celestia, I learned a valuable lesson about friendship today.
It doesn't matter what you wear or what you do, your friends will always love you. 
Even if they aren't completely honest with you, they always have your best interest at heart. 
From your faithful subject, 
Rarity.

Later that night, as Rarity was snuggled in her bed, she could've swore that she heard somepony give her a job well done.