Constructive
It's a warm summer's day, but I can't stop shivering. I sit outside the Milk Mane Cafe, alone. I levitate a teacup to my lips, barely taking a sip before placing it back down on the table-top's stone coaster with an audible rattle.
If only I can find a way to calm my nerves.
How long will I have to wait? I should know this, and yet I'm still here, and nothing's happened.
This is wrong. Everything has failed. Everything.
I look around me. The cafe's hugged by the forest's edge on the north end of Ponyville. The verdant green canopy of the trees positively glow in the sunlight. I feel naked, exposed. I clasp the crystalline necklace hanging around my neck, something Mother gave me long ago, back when my young, feeble mind first envisioned the Construct without knowing what it truly was. What would Mother think if she saw me now? And like this? After all these years, would I have disappointed her? Am I about to disappoint myself?
Once more, I glance at my surroundings. All of the nearby tables are empty. The sidewalks on this side of town are barren. I'm almost surprised that the Milk Mane Cafe still stays open, but then I remember that they usually get their business on weekends. Egads, listen to my thoughts. I'm still constricted by calendars. I suppose that nails it. I've given up. This was fruitless from the beginning. I should have known—
"Would you like more tea, madame?"
The waiter's voice startles me. I drop the cup with a dainty yelp. He catches it with swift magic, chuckling slightly.
"I beg your pardon, Miss..."
"Minuette..."
"Madame Minuette." He places the cup back down, gently. "Would you like some more tea?"
"I... uh... I-I'm good for now."
He looks at the empty stool on the other side of the table. "Late company?"
"I... I'm..." I take a deep breath and murmur, "I'm j-just here alone to enjoy the weather."
"Very well, madame." He bows, smiling pleasantly. "I'll be inside. If you need anything..."
"Right. S-sure thing."
I avoid his gaze, staring anxiously across the empty lengths of Ponyville. As his hoofsteps diminish, I feel encompassed by the void. What a silly world this is: a chunk of rock floating through the ether while gifted alicorns light it up for silly insects to go about their weekly grind. When you think about it, the universe is very simple: a complicated accident that doesn't know how to stop.
No wonder the Construct won't work. Whoever first dreamed it into being must have realized the futility beyond the stars. No wonder they all left us with this emptiness that our tiny minds cannot even pretend to fill. At least it lets us hunger, even if we don't know what we hunger for. I suppose that is the spice of living. To discover things... to actually seize that which eludes us would only make life dull and harmless. Perhaps I'm better off. Maybe we are all better off without the destination.
I'm so wrapped up in this somber thought that I don't even notice the cloaked figure until she's sitting down across from me.
"Oh! Uhm..." I bite my lip, quivering. "Ma'am? Ma'am?" I lean forward, waving a hoof. "Please, if you don't mind... could you sit somewhere else? I'm... uh... I'm waiting for somepony—"
That's when she disrobes. She lowers her hood and removes her hat. And then I see her face, her bright eyes, her even brighter smile. She looks at me with a gaze that will not break.
My muzzle drops. I feel my ears drooping on either side of me. She sits so casually... so relaxed and so self-assured. There's not a single tremble to be seen in her figure, and I realize that I'm not shivering either. I try to say something, but she cuts me off by grinning even harder.
Is it possible?
She nods.
Is she actually here?
She nods again, smiling even harder. A giggle escapes her throat. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, and suddenly I hear it again, for my laughter joins hers. I clasp a pair of hooves over my muzzle. Everything is tingling: my legs, my coat, my heart. My eyes water, and no amount of blinking can drain the fog from this gorgeous, gorgeous world. As a little filly, I used to dream of "happily ever after." Not once did I ever think I'd be right on the cusp of actually living it.
"But... b-but..." Only when I start pronouncing words do I realize how hard I'm crying. I wipe my muzzle dry and gaze at her cloak. "Why all the—?"
"In case anypony saw me trotting here," she says, still smiling. Every second I look at her sends shivers down my spine. "No sense in freaking any of them out, right?"
Of course. Stupid, why didn't you think about that?!
"It's alright if you didn't think about it," she says.
I stare at her, smiling tearfully. I wonder why she's waited this long to show. Was she trying to test me?
"The waiter was outside the whole time," she explains. "You didn't notice because you were facing in one direction. So... I had to wait. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I whimper, wiping my cheek again. Another giggle comes out. "Don't you ever... ever be sorry."
She exhales warmly. What I wouldn't give to be that relaxed. Oh Celestia...!
"How... how long did it take?" I ask, gulping. "For the full meditation to go into effect?"
"Not long at all," she says. She smiles. "It wasn't very hard for me to concentrate."
"Yeah! I bet not!" I giggle.
She giggles.
Once our breaths go quiet, I stammer forth, "And where did you go? I mean... sure, it's rather empty here, but the rest of the town has to be bustling this time of day."
"Where else?" she says.
I'm already contemplating. Then it occurs to me. The Everfree Forest...
She's nodding. Her teeth glint in the sunlight.
I hold a hoof over my muzzle. My tears are finally drying. I feel the jangle of my necklace against my forelimbs.
Her eyes dart down.
My heart skips a beat. I slip the necklace off and hold the fragile crystal in my hoof. I look at her.
She reaches beneath her cloak. After a little bit of fumbling around, she produces a pendant of her own.
I look at it, and then at her. "And... and the Causality Conundrum...?"
"Find out for yourself," she says, pointing.
I'm both enraptured and frightened by her boldness. The vessels in my eyes throb. I'm suddenly awake to this moment in time, a moment like no other. Perhaps this was what the universe was built for. Maybe this is what the Construct had purposed.
Mother, please forgive me, for I must...
I knock over my teacup, grasp the stone coaster, and slam it hard over the crystalline pendant.
Crack!
I gasp... for the coaster has split in two. The pendant remains untouched.
I look up. I glance at her pendant, then at mine.
All the while, she's grinning ecstatically. "Convinced yet?"
"Y-y-you try it!" I slide my pendant across the table. "Quick!"
She grasps one of two other coasters and slams it over the crystal. The coaster breaks. She grabs the third one and flings it. It also breaks. The pendant doesn't have a single mark on it.
I almost fall out of my stool, hugging myself. I look at her.
She's laughing. So I laugh too. I feel lighter than air, and I'm convinced that so does she.
"Immutable..." I wheeze forth. "It's immutable! Who would have guessed?!"
"You did." She stops laughing just long enough to smile warmly at me. "You believed. Up until the very end."
"But... b-but I had my doubts—"
"It's only natural." She takes a deep breath. "But now... now?" She shakes her head. "There is no more time for doubting."
I gaze at her, breathless. "No doubting."
She shakes her head even more.
I bite my lip. I feel the urge to squeal like a little filly. "Omigosh... omigosh! I c-can't wait!"
"Then don't." She gestures behind me. "Go ahead and do it."
"Right... right." My heart's a'flutter. I look at her. This moment is too gorgeous. Only one thing can make it perfect. "Can I ask you a really... really weird favor?" I gulp. "One scientist to another?"
She's already standing up and reaching towards me.
I fly into her forelimbs. We hug each other, the warmest hug I've ever felt in my life. And something tells me it's only going to become warmer... and happier.
"We did it," I whimper, sniffling. "After all this time and research..."
She nuzzles me and whispers, "Go. Go and begin."
"Right... you're absolutely r-right!" I ditch my teacup and gallop away.
"Wait!"
I skid in place.
"You're forgetting something—"
I'm already dashing back. She hooves me my pendant. I grab it, throw it around my neck, and curtsey. "Thank you! Thank you!"
"Heheheh..." I hear her chuckles fade in the distance as I barrel towards the heart of town like a mad pony. I rush by villagers and onlookers. A few ponies gawk at me, but I don't care. They don't realize the monumental nature of what's happened. This is the fulcrum upon which the entire universe hinges. The Construct...
The Construct works!
Within minutes, I've rushed up to the front door of my second story apartment. I rush inside, almost tripping over mountains of mathematical journals and dusty tomes crammed with sheets illustrated all over with over a decade's worth of quantum mechanical computations. For a while, I almost forget what I am looking for. At last, I stumble into my bedroom trot back to the dresser. With a smile, I reach in and pull a thick cloak out, throwing it over my body. I stick my pendant inside one of the pockets and snatch a broad-rimmed sunhat from a table.
Within seconds, I'm trotting through the streets of Ponyville, fully-garbed. I look silly enough as it is; I know that galloping at full speed would only make more heads turn. Nevertheless, I keep my pace slow and steady, which is a difficult task for my pulsating heart beat. In my head, I try to calm my nerves. After all, it's not like I have to hurry.
What do I have to hurry for...?
I make a bee-line for the east end of town. Not long after, I find myself trotting under the cool shade of the Everfree Forest. I don't know what I'm looking for, and yet I do. After a few minutes, I find a clearing in the middle of the woods. Slivers of sunlight slice through, illuminating blooming flower beds and patches of weed.
Already, I can feel my body tingling. That's not going to help me now. I have to remain calm. I have to meditate.
I sit down on the comfortable, springy grass. I look up at the sky. Judging from the sun's position, I'd wager that it's four o'clock in the afternoon. I keep a mental note of that... and then I keep a mental note of nothing.
Closing my eyes, I clear my mind of all distractions. I cycle my left and right hemispheres through hundreds of archives of computational thought. Between each breath, I frame my horn's magical leylines along these equations, and then I pierce beyond, slipping my glove into arcane space like a pony might slip into snow boots for Winter-Wrap Up Day. Then I let something older and darker then gravity do the rest of the work, carrying me down a path that nameless entities of the void have also traveled. Instantly, I feel a wind kick up around me, licking at the grass and leaves of the forest.
When I open my eyes, I'm almost startled at how swiftly the Construct has formed.
She was right. It's not very hard for me to meditate at all.
I think about her smile. I think about the warmth I felt when we hugged.
The Construct grows brighter, levitating directly above me. A whimsical part of my mind wavers, trying to visualize the anomaly, even though I've always known that it's logically impossible. The best I've ever been able to glimpse has been a two dimensional triangle blossoming outward from within a three-dimensional rectangular solid. Every time previous, the Construct has dissolved upon this observation. Something different happens now. It actually works. I know it works. And before I realize it, memory itself has become a word.
I think I'm breathing, but I'm not. It doesn't matter. I look beside me with a calm gaze. The slivers of sunlight twinkle, then drift backwards. I see a flower petal or two collapsing inward, as if wanting to return to tight, colorless buds. I have nothing to measure the distance that I've traveled, save for the shadows that have dissolved around me. Leaves fall up, dance in the air, and suddenly they're fluttering back down again.
The Construct has vanished.
I open my lungs. There's something familiar about these breaths. They're neither stale nor fresh. All that matters is me.
Straightening the lengths of my robe, I stand up. I trot across the clearing, scale the bushes and shrubbery, and pierce the edge of the forest.
Skirting the north side of town, I cross as few sidewalks as possible, making myself scarce in the sunlight. For a moment, I feel the urge to quicken my pace, to hurry towards my destination. But I don't. I don't need to. All I need to do is be.
And before I know it, I've arrived. There before me, along the forest's edge, she waits. She sits alone at a table, shivering, just outside the Milk Mane Cafe. I wish to go to her, to soothe her trembling nerves, but there's a waiter cleaning the tabletops right behind her, and I can't risk being seen. So, I stand right where I am. I make her wait.
At last, the waiter says something to her. She drops her teacup and he catches it. A few short words are exchanged, and the stallion bows before making his way into the interior of the building. Suddenly, I'm moving forward. I couldn't stop this moment if I tried. I wouldn't want to.
Even as I'm sitting down across the table from her, I hear the mare's voice nervously stammer, "Oh! Uhm... Ma'am? Ma'am?" She leans forward and waves a hoof. "Please, if you don't mind... could you sit somewhere else? I'm... uh... I'm waiting for somepony—"
All I have to do is pull my cloak and hat off. I look at her, and nothing can wrench this smile off my face. She instantly deflates, as if doused with arctic water. Her ears droop as her muzzle hangs agape. She's actually quite adorable in a way, and that cuteness magnifies as I nod, confirming the sharp thoughts darting through her numb head.
Yes, it is possible.
Yes, I am actually here.
The look of shock on her face is unbearable, and I giggle, and that's what melts her entirely. She clasps her hooves over her muzzle, eyes instantly watering with tears. I'm delighted to make this reality so magical for her.
"But... b-but..." She finally squeaks, eyeing my ridiculous outfit. "Why all the—?"
"In case anypony saw me trotting here," I explain, feeling a familiar warmth wash over me. "No sense in freaking any of them out, right?"
She winces slightly.
"It's alright if you didn't think about it," I say.
Her smile is a tender thing. I almost feel bad for her... for how long I made her sit here alone in sullen anticipation.
"The waiter was outside the whole time," I explain."You didn't notice because you were facing in one direction. So... I had to wait. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry," she says in a musical little whimper. "Don't you ever... ever be sorry."
I'm not sure why, but this relieves me. What I wouldn't give for her to feel the same... blessed Celestia...
"How... how long did it take?" She asks, distracting me from my brief epiphany. "For the full meditation to go into effect?"
"Not long at all." I can't help but smile. "It wasn't very hard for me to concentrate." I feel the urge to giggle.
Thankfully, she beats me to it. "Yeah! I bet not! Heeheehee!"
"Heheheh..."
She breaks from laughing in time to blurt: "And where did you go? I mean... sure, it's rather empty here, but the rest of the town has to be bustling this time of day."
"Where else?"
I can see the wheels in her head turning, so I nod. She looks at my smile, and instantly she knows. We both know everything... well... almost everything.
I glance down at the necklace dangling around her neck.
Her eyes follow mine. Instantly, she pulls the necklace off and holds it in her hoof. By the time she's looking at me, I've already pulled the same crystal out of my cloak's pocket. Fidgeting, she looks at it, then back at me.
"And... and the Causality Conundrum...?"
I point brazenly at her pendant. "Find out for yourself."
She hesitates slightly. It's precious, like the moment right before a cocoon hatches. Then, in a swift motion, she slams a coaster over the pendant. The crystal doesn't break. Of course it doesn't break. It's almost silly how long she sits there, contemplating what she's witnessed.
"Convinced yet?" I ask.
"Y-y-you try it!" She slides the pendant across the table towards me. "Quick!"
This is for her more than it is for me. Without hesitation, I grasp both remaining coasters, one after the other, and slam them over the pendant. It refuses to break. It can't break. The coasters bite the proverbial bullet instead, shattering to avoid a paradox, courtesy of the Construct. It's so simple to contemplate now, but it positively floors her. I can't help but laugh at how visibly shaken she is. Soon, she's laughing too. It is a joyous moment.
"Immutable." She hugs herself, enraptured. "It's immutable! Who would have guessed?!"
"You did." I stare at her lovingly. I am nothing but words. "You believed. Up until the very end."
"But... b-but I had my doubts—"
"It's only natural. But now... now?" I shake my head. The opposite ends of the universe lie before me... before us. It was always such a clear, unobstructed path. All it took was this one, brave leap. "There is no more time for doubting."
She repeats that unthinkable concept in a timid breath: "No doubting."
All I do is shake my head again.
She's squirming like a little filly. "Omigosh... omigosh! I c-can't wait!"
"Then don't." I point towards the village behind her. "Go ahead and do it."
"Right... right." She starts to stand up. Already, my heart skips a beat. I almost forget that this is going to happen. Can beautiful lightning strike twice? I almost wish I could make the request for her. My body trembles from the mere sparkle in her puppy dog eyes "Can I ask you a really... really weird favor? One scientist to another?"
I don't waste a single moment. I reach over, forelimbs wide. She dives into my embrace, and I hold her close, stroking her neck and mane tenderly like the child she is, the foal that is about to make the biggest step of her life... of our lives. And I know... I just know that things are only ever going to get better after this, for I've been proven right before....
"We did it," she coos. "After all this time and research..."
I nuzzle her close. She's a sliver of something that I'll never have again, something lonely and cold and searching. "Go." I urge her along towards the destination. "Go and begin."
"Right... you're absolutely r-right!" She turns about-face and gallops off.
I glance down. There are two identical pendants sitting on the table. "Wait!" I hear myself shout. "You're forgetting something—"
Awkwardly, she dashes back. I make sure to slide the right pendant towards her, and she snatches it up immediately before curtseying. "Thank you! Thank you!"
"Heheheh..." I chuckle and wave. By the third blink, she's already sprinted far beyond earshot. I take a deep breath, then murmur: "Thank yourself..."
I sit alone at the table under a warm, summer sky. I glance at the pendant in my grasp. With a tender smile, I pull the necklace over my head, slip my hat back on, and get up from the table. Before I leave, I pause, blinking. Then, with a slight giggle, I reach into my cloak's other pocket, pull out a few bits, and leave it on the table, along with a few more to cover the expense of the broken coasters.
From there, I can only think of one place to go.
I trot leisurely across the heart of Ponyville. The sun is starting to make its lazy way down towards the western horizon. A few ponies leave work early, pausing at street corners to stand with one another and chat. For the first time since my studies began into the Construct a decade ago, I pause to admire the beauty of time, of how things gradually dissolve into cool, comforting shadows. Perhaps the entire universe is slowly dying, but there are plenty of dances to be had along the way, and even a good few of them in reverse.
Not long later, I reach the door to a very familiar treehouse. Taking a deep breath, I reach my hoof up and knock on the door. From within the library, I hear a pleasant voice chirp: "You may come in!"
Opening the door, I shuffle inside, greeted by the dusty smell of old books.
A lavender shape turns about. Twilight Sparkle cranes her neck from the other side of an alchemy table. "Hmmm? Who is it?"
"Ahem..." I remove my hat and bow low. "Your Majesty..."
"Oh, please, no need for that." She giggles lightly. "Let me see... uhhhh..." Her face scrunches up briefly. "Minuette, is it?"
I nod, smiling. "Yes, Princess Twilight. You remember me?"
"How could I not? I've read your thesis on magical quantum entanglement at least a dozen times. It's some truly enlightening material!"
"Not too far-fetched, I hope."
"While I'm intrigued by the concept of this... temporal psionic Construct that you've postulated, I must say I have my doubts. But... that's what further computations are for, yes?"
"Heh... indubitably."
"So, what brings you to my library this time of day?" Twilight smirks as she returns to her bubbling concoctions. "And dressed so warmly, I might add."
I lean back against a table, exhaling. "I was... wanting to ask you a question, Your Highness."
"By all means! Shoot! That's what I'm here for!"
"You're an avid fan of Starswirl the Bearded, correct?"
"Oh... am I ever!" Twilight coos, her eyes instantly sparkling. "Starswirl's only the most gifted conjurer to have ever walked the physical plane! He single-hoofedly set the bar for all Equestrian Schools of Magic and Wizardry for centuries to follow!"
I brush my bangs aside and smile warmly at her. "Would you like to meet him?"