Dad Talk.

by EPP

First published

Once in a while a stallion needs to spend some time with his other male friends without any mares around, this a story about a certain group of friends having some talk and fun together.

Every stallion needs to go out with his friends without any mares around once in a while, join our heroes as they tighten their friendship through conversation and then through something more manly.

Unlike my previous "talk" stories, Girl Talk and Guy Talk this story will be longer than one chapter.

None of the Kilala characters are used directly in the fic, but they're mentioned more than once, story takes place in her universe (kilalaverse?) and was inspired by this Mom Talk.

(Also I don't really have any cover art that might suit this fic, so I will just silently hope that Kilala wants to make her own Dad Talk so I can use it as an cover art, with her permission of course.)

Rated T for swearing and some, well let's call them "adult themes"

Chapter 1 - Sugarcube Corner.

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Dad Talk

Crap I’m going to be late again, oh come can’t this stupid train go any faster? Flash Sentry cursed his luck as he nervously trotted back and forth as if this was supposed to make the train go faster.

It’s been almost a month since he last met with his friends for a man day out and he didn’t want to be the last one to arrive.


When I get back home I have to talk with Twi about these trains, seriously we should do something about ours country public transport, especially this blasted… His train of thought was brutally stopped by his transport which just arrived at its destination, the small town under Canterlot which became famous as a home for elements of harmony.

Flash jumped out of the train and ran madly towards their usual meeting place, Sugarcube Corner.

Maybe it doesn’t sound or look too manly but hey, they got the best muffins and cupcakes in Equestria. Or at least that’s what everypony is saying.

After few minutes of this breath-stealing run Flash finally saw the top of the building, with few more gasps he made it to the front door.

Of course he didn’t walk inside right away, he didn’t want to look like he ran all the way from the train station so instead he took his time and waited for his heartbeat to steady.

Flash wiped some of his sweat with his hoof and after taking one more huge breath he opened the door and walked inside with huge smile on his muzzle “Hello everypony, Flash Sentry is hereeeee….” Suddenly skin on Flash’s cheeks started to turn red as he noticed that this time around Sugarcube Corner was completely full, with huge number of Ponyville citizens that he didn’t even know all staring at him in silence.

Just my bucking luck Flash smiled dumbly and waved his hoof towards the crowd, luckily for him his audience just shrugged him off and continued their meals in smaller groups.

Sighing with relief Flash’s ears perked up as he heard a quiet laughter that he got very used to, with a small frown adorning his face he turned left and trotted towards a table where he spotted a group of ponies he was supposed to meet up with.

“Congratulations Flash, you always know how to make my day for some reason.” A pony with gray fur and dark hair commented, his muzzle was adorned with black goatee and his cutie mark showed the image of hurricane.

“Ohh shut your mouth Discord.” Flash answered as he sat down, just like he presumed he was the last one to arrive, Caramel and Pokey Pierce were sitting in front of him, while Discord and Soarin where on his right, Spike was on his left occupying two places all by himself.

“Sorry for being late but my train was belated.”

“Couldn’t you just fly here like I did?” Soarin asked making a small break from eating his pie.

“I would but, well…” Flash didn’t end his sentence and instead motioned to his left bandaged wing.

“Ohh how I didn’t notice that? Sorry.” Soarin commented and took another bite of his meal.

“Hey how did that happen? From what I remember you’re quite the flyer.” Pokey asked smiling.

Flash’s cheeks turned crimson red “You don’t want to know.”

“Now I want to know even more.” Pokey answered leaning closer to him, other guys also became a bit more interested and stopped consuming their food for a moment.

“No really, that’s…”

“He broke it while having sex with his wife.”

Awkward and long silence fell on the group of friends upon Discords comment, it took few moments for Flash to fully realize what just happened as his embarrassed expression changed into an angry scowl.

“One of these days Discord, I swear I’ll rip you to pieces.”

“Hey why bother! I can easily detach my limbs for ya if you want.” Discord commented smiling while other guys were slowly coming bringing their attention back to their meals not wanting to continue the subject.

Except for one of them.

“How the tartarus did that happen?” Pokey asked making Spike and Caramel swear quietly under their noses.

“Seriously? You think I’ll…”

“Well our Flash here had a funny idea and Twilight…”

“Discord! Shut up already! How do you even know all of these thing?! That doesn’t make any sense.”

Discord smiled mischievously and answered “Make sense? What fun is there in making sense?”

“Guys! Can we please change subject and talk about something else than, well something else than Flash’s and Twi's…. sex life.” Spike spat out last words not feeling too comfortable with using word sex right after his older sister name.

All guys silently agreed and once again silence fell upon them, Flash briefly broke it by ordering himself some cupcakes but not for long.

Annoyed with this awkward feeling Caramel decided to be the one to break the ice this time around, after few moments of thinking he came up with the best idea he could come up with. “So guys, how are your kids doing?” He asked with a bit of southern accent in his voice.

“Ohh same old, same old, my daughters are as adorable as ever, well actually maybe not completely same old, recently I noticed a small change in Candy’s behavior.” Pokey answered.

“And this change is?” Caramel asked.

“She’s been talking much more about colts.”

“Would you look at that, our Candy is growing into a big mare isn’t she.” Discord commented and took another sip of his tea.

“Wait she’s talking about colts, I get that but… she’s talking with you rather than her mother?” Soarin asked.

“For some reasons unknown to me, yes.” Pokey answered simply.

“Huh, interesting I think this is how it works.”

“What do you mean?” Flash asked as his order just came in.

“Well when Prism was growing up and he was around that age, he preferred to talk with Rainbow for some reason.”

“Yeah “for some reason”.” Spike commented.


“Well as far as I remember you weren’t very experienced when it came to talking with mares Soarin.” Spike added with rather stoic expressions

“Yeah sometimes I am wondering how did you manage to ask Rainbow out in the first place.” Pokey added, he didn’t know Soarin for too long, only for couple of years but he heard more than a few stories from his wife.

“Well I didn’t really ask her out, she did.” Soarin commented a bit embarrassed knowing that it’s rather uncommon for a mare to do a first step towards such relationship, but he shrugged it away “Anyway we were talking about our kids right? So Spike what about you, how is Claire and T doing.”

“They’re doing great thanks, although both me and Rarity are worried about Claire opinion on marriage.”

“Which is?”

“She doesn’t even want to think it about, we think it has something to do with her wanting to be independent or something.” Spike sighed “Well it’s her life and we can’t decide for her but…”

“Hey we get it, don’t worry.” Pokey commented with a small, caring smile.

“Oh yes marriage! Illusion and I had a talk about that not so long ago, as far as I know he really wants that to happen but he respects Claire decisions.” Discord added.

Spike looked towards Discord and laugh a bit earning a confused expression from the not-so-evil anymore god of chaos “What is it? Do I have something on my muzzle?”

“No it’s just, it feels like just yesterday we were trying to seal you with elements of harmony, and now we are talking about our kids possibly getting married.”

Discord pondered on his words for a few moment before bursting into laughter “That truly is amusing!”

“Yeah time surely is flying fast isn’t it? I remember playing hoofball with Icy like it was yesterday…. Oh wait it was yesterday, bad example.”

Now everyone else joined in on the laughter which continued for a few good moments before finally silencing.

“Oh boy we got to the point in our lives when we are having fun remembering stuff rather than making new memories, I think we’re really getting old.” Caramel commented.

“Talk about being old, this guys here is like few thousands years old.” Flash added pointing his hoof at Discord who spit his tea.

“I beg your pardon, I’m only 2014 years old!”

Spike laughed a bit and noticed that everyone has already ended their meals, which meant that it’s time for next step of their usual meetings.

“So guys, how about we go and get ourselves some good beers.”

Not wasting anytime everyone nodded in agreement and stood up leaving the place one after another, maybe they didn’t get to meet in a whole group like that too often but when they did it would always create some new memories.

That is if they will remember anything the next day of course.