After witnessing abuse at the hands of Adagio and Aria, Pinkie Pie comes to the aid of Sonata. The two quickly hit it off and a friendship is born… much to the dismay of everyone around them.
After witnessing abuse at the hands of Adagio and Aria, Pinkie Pie comes to the aid of Sonata. The two quickly hit it off and a friendship is born… much to the dismay of everyone around them.
Chapter 1: Friendless & Clueless at Canterlot High
-ooooooo-
The sun shone brightly over Canterlot High School as the students happily walked and milled about the campus. Some made small talk with each other as they made their way to their destination; some simply found a spot to hang out at and chat, and others held hands. Everywhere one looked there were happy, excited faces of students about. Students of different dress easily mingled with each other. Teenagers interacted with each other very much as if their little differences didn’t matter and that the simple fact that they were all in the same school was enough to bring them together.
“Disgusting, isn’t it?”
Adagio hated it, but she hated lots of things. She scowled out at the mass of students with a look of disdain.
“It is possibly the worst thing ever.”
A few steps behind Adagio sat Aria. If Adagio’s look was disdainful, than Aria’s was the picture of absolute contempt. It was as if the very atmosphere of the school offended her and she sneered out at everyone about her.
“Even worse than losing our powers?!”
Sonata simply looked out at the events around her in confusion. This being about the closest to paying attention as she got.
“Correction,” Aria said, glaring at Sonata. “Third worst thing.”
“Oh really?!” Sonata said. “What’s the second?”
“Losing our powers,” Aria said as she folded her arms over her chest.
Sonata eyes unfocused as she stared off into the empty space of the schoolyard as she attempted to parse Aria’s response and come up with one of her own. “HEY!” Sonata snapped. “Then what’s the first thing?”
Aria rolled her eyes. “YOU!”
Sonata wrinkled her eyebrows at stared at Aria. “Oh yeah… well… You’re purple!”
“That’s not an insult, moron!” Aria cried.
“GIRLS!” Adagio cried. “Would you two shut up for once in your miserable lives?” She said, forcing the words ‘miserable lives’ through clenched teeth. “We may have lost the battle, but the war is far from over!”
“What are we supposed to do?” Sonata asked. “The whole school hates us! And we hate them!”
“Also, HEY! No powers!” Aria added.
Adagio nodded. “All true, but we know there’s some way to get back to Equestria! We just need to figure out how to get the information out of Sunset Shimmer and her friends and we can start over back home!”
“Too bad they hate us most of all,” Sonata said. “Especially Sunset Shimmer…”
Aria glared at Adagio. “Gee! I wonder whose fault that was!”
Adagio returned the glare. “Oh please! Like it’s my fault you two are such morons you can’t carry out a simple plan!”
Aria’s already narrowed eyes narrowed further and she clenched a fist tightly.
Adagio mirrored Aria’s look and pulled back her own fist.
“Girls!” Sonata said putting herself in between Aria and Adagio. “Fighting isn’t going to help us sort out what’s most important here!”
Aria and Adagio paused, looked at each other, and then looked at Sonata. They lowered their fists and sighed.
“You’re right, Sonata,” Adagio said.
“For once,” Aria growled out.
Sonata nodded with a satisfied expression. “Now let’s concentrate on priority number one!”
“Yeah, yeah…” the other girls said dismissively.
“Getting breakfast!” Sonata added.
Adagio and Aria’s angry expressions were back in a flash. They looked at each other and nodded.
‘POW!’
‘WOMP!’
“OOFFF!”
With a soft ‘Thump’, Sonata hit the ground.
“Owwie…” Sonata uttered as she placed an arm over her stomach and rubbed her cheek.
Adagio and Aria walked off as they continued to argue and shout at each other.
“Oh you poor, poor thing you!”
Sonata looked up into the big sky-blue eyes of a female student. Her massive mop of pink hair sat in curls like a giant mass of cotton candy that framed her face.
“I saw the whole thing!” Pinkie exclaimed as she set down the backpack she was holding and held out her hand. “You were just reminding them about the importance of the first meal of the day then bam, zoom! Straight to the moon… or ground in this case.”
Sonata rolled over so she was sitting and supported herself with one hand as she left the other draped over her stomach. She stared at Pinkie’s outstretched hand briefly then looked up at her. “But… we’re enemies!”
Pinkie grinned wide and shook her head. “Don’t worry about that! Enemies are just friends who are trying to kill you!”
Sonata’s eyes went wide. “That makes perfect sense!” she said as she reached for Pinkie’s hand.
Pinkie helped Sonata up to her feet.
“Are those meanies bullying you?” Pinkie asked.
Sonata nodded and gave Pinkie a sad look. “They always pick on me!”
Pinkie gasped. “No!”
“Yes!” Sonata bemoaned. “All because I’m not as smart as them!”
“Well that’s no reason to be a big meanie meanie-pants!”
“I know!” Sonata said. “So what if I have trouble reading, or paying attention, or even tying my shoes…”
Pinkie looked down at Sonata’s feet. “Uh… You don’t have laces… You’re wearing boots.”
Sonata nodded. “Adagio and Aria said I’m not allowed anything with laces after that one time I almost strangled myself to death!”
“Oh you poor you!” Pinkie cried as she suddenly threw her arms around Sonata and hugged her tightly.
“EEK!” Sonata cried. “What’s going on?! Are you trying to suffocate me so I won’t struggle when you unhinge your jaw and eat me?!”
Pinkie giggled. “No, silly! It’s called a ‘hug’! It’s what you do when you like someone!”
“Oh!” Sonata exclaimed. A slight bit of pink began to appear on her cheeks. “Can I… Can I try hugging you?”
Pinkie loosened her grip and took a step back. “Of course, silly-Billy!” she said with a smile.
“Okay!” Sonata said cheerfully. “Uh… What do I do first?”
“First you put your arms out!”
Sonata thrust her arms straight forward.
‘POW!’
“OWIE!” Pinkie cried as a pair of hands unexpectedly flew into her face.
“Oh no!” Sonata said with a distressed look on her face. “I did it wrong!”
“Iwt’s owkay!” Pinkie said as she rubbed her nose. She took a couple steps back. “Try again!”
Sonata raised her arms straight in front of her again.
Pinkie pursed her lips. “Well… that looks more like a zombie attack than a hug. Try spreading your arms out more.”
Sonata looked at her arms, then slowly inched them away from each other.
Pinkie nodded. “Good… a little more…”
Sonata spread her arms out further.
“A little more.”
She spread them out even further.
“More…”
She continued to slowly move her arms apart.
“TOO FAR!” Pinkie cried.
“AH!” Sonata cried in alarm. She quickly brought her arms a few inches closer together.
“Perfect!” Pinkie said. “Now step up to me.”
Sonata took a few steps forward, right smack into Pinkie.
“Oof!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Sonata frowned as her face was press right up against Pinkie’s. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, it’s okay!” Pinkie assured. “Now just wrap your arms around me and… Good!”
“You… cough… cough…” Pinkie’s face had begun to turn read as Sonata hugged her with all her might. “You sure are…”
“Wheee!” Sonata exclaimed. She let go of Pinkie and took a few steps back. “I hugged someone! I hugged someone!” she declared happily while jumping up and down.
Pinkie took a few deep breaths. “Yaaay…” she said weakly.
“That was really fun!” Sonata said as she giddily hopped from foot to foot. “What else do people who like each other—” Sonata was cut off as the growling of her stomach interrupted her. She looked down at her belly and frowned.
Pinkie smiled. “People who like each other share breakfast with each other!”
Sonata gasped. “Really?! I wish I knew that sooner! I’d have made start liking the vending machine.”
Pinkie giggled. “The vending machine isn’t a person, silly!”
Sonata’s eye widened. “So that’s why it never gave me food even when I threatened to beat it to death with a baseball bat!”
Pinkie bent down and unzipped her backpack, she then retrieved a cupcake holder.
“What’s that?” Sonata asked as Pinkie opened up the cupcake holder.
Pinkie took the top off the cupcake holder and revealed appeared to be a cupcake topped with burnt yellow-colored frosting. “It’s my special breakfast cupcake!”
“Yay!” Sonata cried. “… What makes it special?”
Pinkie grinned. “Baked inside is a piece of bacon and some sausage! All covered in delicious maple syrup-egg yolk frosting!”
Sonata’s jaw unhinged. “That sounds like the best cupcake in the history of cupcakes...” she uttered.
“You think?” Pinkie said as she looked at the cupcake. “All my friends said it tasted weird, but you can have it if you want,” Pinkie said, holding out the cupcakes.
Sonata’s eyes went wide as she stared at the confection. “For… for realsies?”
Pinkie nodded. “For realsies~!”
Sonata reached out and grabbed the cupcake. She brought it up to her face and took a tentative bite.
“How… how is it?” Pinkie asked in an unsure tone.
Tears began to stream from Sonata’s face.
Pinkie’s features plummeted. “Is it… bad?”
Suddenly Sonata brought the cupcake back up to her face and devoured it in a mess of cake, frosting, and meat product.
Pinkie’s face lit up.
Sonata stared far, far into the distance as she smiled. “It was the best cupcake in the history of cupcakes!”
“YAY!” Pinkie exclaimed before she threw her arms around Sonata and hugged her tightly.
Sonata returned the hug.
“Sonata… choke… cough…?” Pinkie uttered as her face went red again. “Can you… can you loosen your grip?”
“Sure!” Sonata said loosening her grip. “Anything for you… Uh… girl…”
“Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Sonata gasped. “That rhymes with slinky fry!”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! I never knew that before!”
Aria took a break from her shouting match with Adagio long enough to watch Pinkie Pie and Sonata walk off as the pair giddily conversed with each other.
“Hey! She just stole our idiot!” Aria cried.
“So? Let her!” Adagio said. “Sonata’s the most moronic person from both world and Equestria I’ve ever met! I swear I get dumber just hanging around her.”
“Uhg! I know.” Aria replied. “But you know Sonata… If she’s not under constant supervision she’s liable to hurt herself… Or maybe worse…”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Oh no!” she cried sarcastically. She clenched a fist in her other hand and brought it up next to her chin. “Whatever would we do if anything happened to our powerless, brain dead, hanger-on?”
Aria turned and narrowed her eyes at Adagio.
“What?!” Adagio exclaimed. “Just go up to her and start making out with the little taco-obsessed freak if you care that much!”
Aria folded her arms in front of her chest. “She’s also the only one of us whose clothes have pockets… and still has all the money.”
Adagio’s eyes opened wide as realization set in. She began to frantically scan the school yard.
“And now you care!” Aria said.
“Quiet! Just… just… shut up and help me find them!”
“And now we lost them!” Aria said. “Great! Nice leadership skills, Dagi! What’ll be the results of your next brilliant plan, I wonder? Maybe we’ll all end up in a nice, filthy ditch somewhere!”
“HEY!” Adagio snapped. “I never would have lost sight of her if you weren’t too busy blabbering on like the dim-witted moron you are!”
“What?!” Aria said. “I was the one who wanted to go after her! You where the one being a major douchebag about the whole thing!”
Adagio glared at Aria and raised her hand to flick Aria’s nose with her fingers.
Aria recoiled slightly from the small act of aggression then let out a growl as she pulled her hand back. She balled her hand into a fist and sent it flying towards Adagio’s face.
‘POW!’
For a moment the two girls did nothing. They simply stared at each other as they took in this unfamiliar situation.
“You… you slugged me!” Adagio said as she raised a hand to her throbbing cheek.
Aria grinned wide. “I know! Sonata usually stops me… And let me tell you… It felt great!”
“How dare you!” Adagio roared. “I made this team! You’d be nothing without me!”
“Oh no!” Aria cried. “I might have ended up banished to a horrible world without my powers if it wasn’t for your brilliant guidance!”
Adagio furrowed her brow and sneered. “Aria… I’m warning you…” she growled out from between clenched teeth.
“Warning me of what, Dagi?! What are you going to do?! What are you going to do?! Wreck my life more than you already have?! ‘Cause from where I’m standing, you’ve already done as much damage to meandyourself as you could possibly—”
“GRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Adagio let out a roar as she dove on top of Aria. She quickly brought Aria to the ground before placing a few punches into Aria’s face.
‘POW! BAM!’
“UHG!” Aria cried from the ground.
Adagio grinned wickedly as she looked down at Aria. “Hmmph… I knew you were all taaaaAAAAAAAAH!”
Aria suddenly leaned up and wrapped her fingers around some of Adagio’s hair, a rather simple task given how much of the stuff there was. She pulled Adagio down to the ground next to her and delivered a few hits with her free hand.
Within seconds, a number of CHS students had gathered to watch the girls fight it out as they wrestled with each other on the ground, punched, kicked, and even bit each other. Trixie, Snips, and Snails found themselves in front of the group.
“Oh boy, cat fight!” Snips exclaimed.
“Yeah…uh…” Snails uttered. “Cat fight!”
“Yes! Go Aria!” Trixie cheered. “Rip Adagio’s shirt right off her sexy body!”
Snips and Snails turned and stared at Trixie.
Trixie noticed the looks she was being given.
“DON’T JUDGE TRIXIE!”
Snips suddenly smiled wide. “Trixie, that’s an awesome idea!”
“Yeah!” Snails agreed. “Awesome!”
Trixie smiled and motioned to herself. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trrrrrrixiealways has the best ideas!”
-oooooo-
Applejack sat down at a table and inhaled a big waft of the food in front of her through her nose. “Aaaaah! Another day, another heaping plate of CHS’s delicious, unidentifiable brown stuff!” She said as she dug a spoon into a pile of a lumpy brown substance that covered the central portion of her tray.
Sunset swallowed the bit of food in her mouth and rested her fork next to the partially eaten meatloaf on her tray. She shook her head. “A.J. your grandma works in the cafeteria. Just ask her what it is.”
“And ruin the mystery?” Applejack spooned a bit of her lunch into her mouth and swallowed before pointing her spoon at Sunset. “‘Sides, you eat the meatloaf! Do you know what meat it’s even made with?”
Sunset shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care!” Sunset dug her fork into her meal, took another bite, chewed, than swallowed. “Just as long as one or more animals died to make my meal, I’m happy.”
Fluttershy whimpered from her seat.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity both cocked their eyebrows.
“Ain’t that kinda weird?” Rainbow Dash. “You know… You used to be a pony and all.”
Rarity nodded. “Even weirder than you used to being a pony already is, darling.”
“I came out of the portal from Equestria wearing a leather jacket!” Sunset exclaimed. She ate another bit of meatloaf. “Stuff was all effed up as soon as I stepped foot in this world!” She took yet another bite. “All I know now is meat is delicious and having it for every meal is awesome!”
“I hear that!” Applejack said. “Assuming there’s meat somewhere in this heap of delicious miscellaneous dish!” Applejack spooned another bit of her brown, congealed mass into her mouth, swallowed it, and turned to Sunset. “So, how’s the writin’ to Princess Twilight in that magic book going, sugarcube?”
Fluttershy perked up with an interested expression. “It must be so exciting to have a pen-pal in another dimension.”
Sunset shrugged as she stabbed her fork into her meatloaf again. “Eh… I’ve been drawing butts in it mostly…”
Applejack and Fluttershy each gave Sunset a blank stare.
Rainbow Dash snickered.
Rarity leaned forward blinked a few times. “Come… come again?”
Sunset pulled up her fork with a large chunk of ketchup-covered meat on it. “You know… behinds, posteriors, backsides, asses…” Sunset brought her fork up to her mouth, chewed on her food for a bit, then swallowed. She chuckled. “Sometimes I put little crowns on them and stink lines with an arrow pointing to them that reads ‘Princess Tushlight Stinkle’ or ‘Princess of Fartship’ or something like that…”
-o~Meanwhile, in back in Equestria~o-
Princess Tushliht Stinkle Twilight Sparkle focused a glare out her crystal castle window and ruffled her feathers as the sounds of uproarious laughter poured out from another corner of the room.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”
Red faced and glaring, Twilight turned to the source of the laughter. “Come on guys! It’s not that funny!”
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and rolled around on the ground as they waved their hooves up in the air. Tears streamed from their eyes as laughter poured out of them. Spike was in a similar state as he laid on his back and held a large book with Sunset Shimmer’s cutie mark on it above him. He kicked his feet out as he joined in the laughter.
Pinkie attempted to stop laughing long enough to reply, “…HAHAHAHAHAHA… Just when you think it’s …AHAHAHAHAHA… it’s over, BAM! She comes up with another one!”
“Ohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash cried. “Those little crowns… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Priceless!”
-ooo-
Rarity and Applejack raised their eyebrows at Sunset, while Rainbow Dash burst into laughter and Fluttershy did her best to hide a titter.
“Don’cha think that’s kinda a misuse of the book?” Applejack asked.
Rarity nodded. “Certainly an uncouth use for it!”
Sunset shrugged as she stuck her fork back into her spaghetti. “Oh, relax! It a way better use than asking her for friendship advice!” Sunset quickly took another forkful of meat into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed it. “Besides! She came here and was bad at being a friend!” Sunset asserted while pointing her fork. “I was the one who had to save everyone with my friendship skills! If anything, she should be writing me for advice on being a friend! Princess of Friendship my ass…”
“You guys! Ohymgosh! You guys! Ohymgosh! Ohymgosh! You guys! You guys! Youguysouguysouguysouguys!”
The group turned to see Pinkie smiling wide at them and bouncing from foot to foot, while something under a white sheet stood next to her. A pair of pigeon-toed pink-and-white boots poked out from the bottom of the cover.
“Great, she’s overstimulated,” Sunset said. “Rainbow Dash, would you get her a juice box or something?”
Rainbow Dash saluted. “On it!”
“No wait!” Pinkie cried. “I want you to meet my new friend!”
Sunset sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with a thumb and forefinger. “Pinkie, for the last time, you can’t just put a sheet over someone and say you’ve befriended a ghost!”
“No! It’s who’s under the sheet, silly!” Pinkie said cheerily.
Rarity shot Pinkie a quizzical expression. “Pinkie dear, I don’t see what the need is for such an elaborate set up, you know and are friends with everyone at schoowhowhowhooo?!”
The group stared in shock as Pinkie removed the cover, revealing Sonata.
Sonata grinned at everyone at the table and waved. “Hello!”
“What in tarnation?!” Applejack cried.
Fluttershy made a distressed sounding “Meep!” and ducked under the table.
“Nope!” Rainbow Dash announced as she pushed her chair away from the table, stood up, and sprinted away.
“Pinkie!” Sunset cried as she motioned to Sonata. “You can’t make friends with her!”
“Why not?” Pinkie asked as she puffed out her lower lip.
“She’s evil!” Sunset cried.
“She’s not evil!” Pinkie cried. “She’s just misunderstood!”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “She’s eating yogurt off Fluttershy’s plate right now, while celebrating the death of bacteria cultures!”
Sonata shoved a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth as Fluttershy covered her head with her hands and shook under the table. “OM NOM NOM!” She cried before she swallowed the yogurt. “Die microorganisms, die!”
Pinkie looked at Sonata and back to Sunset with the look a child might have if they had found a stray animal that followed them home one day. “But she needs a friend! She was just so sad and pathetic looking this morning! I couldn’t just leave her!”
“Look!” Sunset cried. “We can’t just adopt evil villainesses because they look sad and pathetic!”
The group collectively turned and stared at Sunset.
“Hey!” Sunset protested as her eyes darted back and forth from the looks directed at her. “At least I wanted to make up for my mistakes!” She said motioning to herself. She motioned out with her hands. “Has she shown any sign that she’s the least bit remorseful for what she’s done?” Sunset glanced up and noticed she had just motioned to empty space. “Wait, where’d she go?”
Pinkie turned and pointed towards another table. “Oh! There she is! She’s making more friends.”
A student with a gray beanie that covered an unruly mop of reddish-brown hair stared up at Sonata in confusion that was slowly turning into dread. Sonata hovered over him and eyed the hoagie sandwich he was holding hungrily. From the same table, a female student with long purple hair, a female student with long red hair tied in a ponytail, and a male student with short, tousled green hair and a wide brimmed, brown hat glared at Sonata.
“Oh that looks sooo good!” Sonata said as she looked over the sandwich.
“Uhhh…. Thanks?” The student with the beanie replied. He stared up at Sonata with a worried expression.
“Can I have some?” Sonata asked with a smile. “Otherwise someone might encounter an unfortunate accident!”
“Uhh…”
Sonata continued, “And by someone, I mean you! And by ‘unfortunate accident’ I mean I’ll find out where you live and murder your entire family and you!” Sonata’s cheerful grin widened. “For realsies!” she added.
“Ah!” the student cried. “Here! Take it!” he said as he held up the sandwich.
“Yay!” Sonata cried as she took the sandwich. She shoved the sandwich into her mouth as far as it would go, then she simply stood there.
The table of nearby students’ angry faces changed to confused ones as Sonata hovered over them with a sandwich in her mouth and stared off into space.
Pinkie, Sunset and everyone else at their table likewise simply stared in confusion, Fluttershy peeking her head up from under the table.
Tears began to stream from Sonata’s eyes and her already blue face began to turn a few shades bluer.
“Sonata, no!” Pinkie cried. She rushed up to Sonata and pulled the sandwich out of her mouth.
Sonata took in a large breath of air as the soggy mass of bread, vegetables, stopped blocking her airway.
“Silly Sonata,” Pinkie said. “You need to chew your food before you try to swallow it.”
“Oh right!” Sonata said. “I always forget that part!”
“That’s okay!” Pinkie said as she handed Sonata back her rather moist sandwich. “It could have happened to anyone!”
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged glances and giggled.
“Want some?” Sonata asked as she held up the mangled sandwich.
“DO I?!” Pinkie replied excitedly.
Sunset and Applejack’s jaws dropped as Rarity and Fluttershy began to look nauseous. Fluttershy placed a hand over her mouth as her cheeks puffed out and sprinted away from the table heading for the door. She was quickly followed by the student in the gray beanie.
Sunset averted her gaze. “Well… this is going to be disturbing… and messy…”
Applejack shrugged. “Being friends with Pinkie usually is.”
“Quite…” Rarity agreed as she averted her eyes from the nauseating scene going on a few feet away from her.
Suddenly Vice-Principal Luna’s voice called out from over the P.A. system. “Would Sunset Shimmer please report to the Principal’s office?”
“Oh thank God!” Sunset said as she stood up from her chair.
Rarity turned towards Sunset. “Whatever do you think they want you for?”
Sunset shook her head. “No idea, but it can’t possibly be worse than what’s going on here.”
Sunset smiled warmly as she walked into Celestia’s cozy office, noticing Celestia sitting at her desk with Vice-Principal Luna standing next to her. “Hello Principal Celestia, Vice-Principal Luna! You wanted to…” Sunset trailed off as she noticed Adagio and Aria sitting in chairs against a wall. Both were covered in fresh bandages that seemed to cover a number of fresh cuts and bruises. The two girls looked up at Sunset and glared at her as best they could with bruised eyes.
Sunset looked at Celestia and Luna and grinned sheepishly. “I’ll just wait until you’re done.”
Celestia held up her hand. “Actually… we wanted to talk to you about these two and Sonata.”
“Uh… Sure…?” Sunset uttered as she felt both her forehead and lips tighten.
Luna motioned to the two girls. “These two were found fighting each other in the schoolyard.”
“Okay…” Sunset said. “So just give them a few days of detention…”
Celestia shook her head. “I’m afraid it’s not as simple as that… Vice-Principal Luna and I have discussed this at length with the girls and we don’t believe discipline will solve the issue. We think the girls are having trouble adjusting to being human…”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Tragic. It must be so hard going from being a monster that causes then feeds upon the negative emotions of others!”
“Hey!” Aria cried. “We didn’t ask to be sirens!”
Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “Yeah, but you all didn’t seem to have much of a problem with anything you were doing!”
“What?” Adagio replied. “It’s in our nature to do those things! I mean… That’s like getting upset that bottlenose dolphins murder porpoises for fun!”
Sunset cringed. “People do get upset over that!”
Adagio frowned slightly. “Oh, well… You all need to lighten up about murder…”
Aria nodded in agreement.
“Are you kidding?!” Sunset cried. She sighed and shook her head. “No, of course not… You’re both deranged psychopaths…”
Celestia chimed in, “Sunset, I think it’s important to keep an open mind here.”
Luna raised an eyebrow.
“What?” Sunset exclaimed. “You want me to humor the possibility that murder is okay? I mean… Okay… I admit I’m possibly not the best person to pass judgment here, but I usually play that stuff close to the vest, and…”
Luna shook her head. “Tia, were you even paying attention to the conversation?”
Celestia shrugged. “You know I have trouble focusing when the students talk for extended periods of time…”
Sunset stared at Celestia blankly and blinked a few times. “It’s been like… a minute…”
Celestia leaned back then placed her legs on her desk. “Yeah well… I’m pretty busy…” she said as she idly examined the back of one of her hands.
Luna sighed. “Look, the thing is we think you’re the best person to help reform the Dazzlings.”
“WHAT?!” Sunset cried as she flung her hands to her sides. “I’m not helping them! They’ve treated me like a disease since they met me! Why the heck should I be expected to turn around and help them?!”
Adagio glared at Sunset. “Oh, that’s some serious ‘pot calling the kettle black’ coming from you! I know you wrecked the friendships of the girls you hang out with now before Ms. Purple Princess showed up and fixed them all then asked them to take you in.”
Sunset narrowed her eyes at Adagio. “Yeah, but still…”
Aria sighed.
“Oh what is your problem?” Adagio added.
Aria shook her head. “Nothing…”
Adagio nodded. “Good, because—”
“Just… Can you imagine how confused Sonata would be by this whole conversation? She’d be wondering why we suddenly started talking about cookware… probably remember it’s lunchtime.”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe how much of a lost puppy you are without the little idiot! You can start saying idiotic stuff if it means this much to you!”
“Speaking of idiotic, this whole situation is stupid!” Sunset cried as she turned to Celestia and Luna.
“It sure is…” Aria grumbled to herself.
Sunset continued, “I get enough crazy from my friends. Why are you even bothering with these troublemakers?! Just kick them out of school! Let them fend for themselves! Why do we even need to concern themselves with them?”
Celestia sighed. “They enrolled as students and without guardians… If they, say… get arrested for something, like publically assaulting each other, CHS might fall under scrutiny.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Oh wow! Students are just allowed to wander onto the school and enroll! What a completely new and unprecedented occurrence!”
Celestia narrowed her eyes at Sunset.
“Uh… Tia?” Luna said as she turned to Celestia. “This seems to be getting oddly… personal… maybe I should excuse—”
Celestia sat up and held up a hand. “Just a second, Luna…” she said as she continued to scowl at Sunset. “I was mind-controlled this time!”
“Right!” Sunset retorted. “This time!”
Celestia narrowed her eyes. “Oh please! You’re in no position to complain! You of all students should be grateful for the school’s lax enrollment requirements!”
“But then you let Twilight just walk in!” Sunset cried. “I don’t think you even made her sign anything!”
“Not that that would have mattered…” Luna mumbled.
Celestia turned to shot a look at Luna. “Not helping!”
Adagio shook her head. “I don’t know why you’re making a big deal out of this… The forms were literally a line for our name and a checkbox next to the question ‘Are you a teenager?’”
Celestia stroked her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose it’s time we add another question that asks if the applicant is human or not.”
“And if they have a legal guardian?” Luna suggested.
Celestia and Sunset simultaneously held their palms in front of them and said, “Let’s not go crazy now!”
Luna sighed heavily.
Sunset spoke up again, “Look! You two know what these girls did and how they treated me! Give me one good reason why I should force myself to take care of these two miserable jerk-wads!”
Luna folded her arms across her chest. “You once turned into a demon and tried to enslave the school for interdimensional conquest, so you really aren’t in much of a position to judge…”
Sunset frowned and held up a couple fingers. “Two! Give me two good reasons!”
Celestia tilted her head slightly. “You also spent a good portion of the two and a half years prior to that ruling the school with an iron fist.”
Sunset held up another finger. “… Three! Give me three good reasons.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “We’ve allowed you to continue attending school despite the fact you have no legal guardian to speak of.”
“GAH!” Sunset cried in frustration. “Come on! I saved the school from them!” she said as she motioned to Adagio and Aria.
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Oh please, like you did it alone…”
“Shut up!” Sunset snapped. “It was still my actions that tipped the balance!”
“Look!” Luna said. “It’s in your best interest CHS doesn’t get investigated, or need I remind you once again these three aren’t the only ones attending without legal guardians.”
Sunset sighed heavily and grumbled about beating someone to death with a flagpole.
Celestia nodded. “Plus we thought you should be in charge of ‘weird horse stuff’, being that you’re from the world and all.”
“What?!” Sunset cried. “Oh, come on! That’s not even remotely fair!”
Luna turned and glowered at her sister. “I thought we agreed not to tell her that part.”
Celestia frowned. “Did we? Luna, you know I have trouble remembering conversations when they happened a while ago.”
Luna threw up her hands in frustration. “We talked about this almost right before we decided to call for Sunset Shimmer!”
“See!” Celestia said. “That was like… hours ago, right?”
“I’ve only been here a few minutes!” Sunset cried.
Adagio and Aria stared at Celestia.
“Alright… how exactly did you become principal?!” Adagio asked.
Luna sighed. “Celesta is really good at inspirational speeches.”
Sunset folder her arms across her chest again and scowled at Celestia. “Oh, like the one in the gym when everyone was preparing for the musical showcase and you reminded them about the fall formal?”
Luna rolled her eyes. “She’s also good at getting others to focus attention on things besides her ‘hands-off’ method of running the school.”
“Hey!” Celestia said. “I prefer to think of it as laissez-faire administration.”
Sunset grinned. “More like lazy fair administration! BAM!” Sunset held her hand up. “Come on, someone! Up top! That was gold and you all know it!”
Aria turned to Adagio. “Dagi, I’m sorry, but if I don’t high-five Sunset right now, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Adagio sighed. “Fine.”
Celestia glared up at Sunset and Aria as the two exchanged a gleeful high-five. Luna quickly turned and raised a hand over her own mouth.
Celestia cleared her throat. “You are so watching the Dazzlings now.”
Sunset scrunched her lips up as she allowed her shoulders to go limp. “I just need to make sure they don’t get arrested?”
Celestia nodded.
“Uhg… fiiiiine!” She turned to Adagio and Aria. “Come on you two. If you can keep from committing any crimes in between here and the cafeteria, maybe we can figure out with to do with you…”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “I’m sure we’ll manage somehow,” she said as she fell in step behind Sunset, Aria close behind.
Luna watched as the three students left the room, then turned to her sister.“Tia, would you like me to get you some ice water?”
Celestia looked up at her sister in confusion. “Ice water? For what?”
Luna grinned widely. “To pour on that massive burn Sunset Shimmer just gave you!” Luna pumped her fist into that air. “OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!”
Celestia crossed her arms across her chest and looked away with a sullen expression. “You are getting so many noogies for that…”
-ooooooo-
Sunset sighed as she trudged down the hallway of Canterlot High back towards stairs that would take her and her new shadows to the cafeteria. She picked up her feet and dropped her boots hard as she walked on, trudging and gritting her teeth as each student she passed gave her and the girls behind her a worried look as they got out of their way.
Adagio cleared her throat. “So… Sunset…”
“Ugh!”
“How’s—”
“Ugh!”
Adagio frowned slightly. “I’m just asking if—”
Sunset suddenly turned and glared at Adagio, opening one eye wide as the other twitched. “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
“Feel better?” Adagio asked.
“No…” Sunset whispered.
“Look! This sucks for us, too!” Aria said.
Sunset cocked an eyebrow at Aria. “Yes, but you see the difference between you three and me, is I didn’t do anything wrong!… This time!”
Adagio smiled. “Look, I just wanted to know how Princess Twilight was.”
Sunset looked at Adagio suspiciously. “Why do you care?”
Adagio and Aria grinned and exchanged glances.
Adagio looked back at Sunset. “Oh, you know, just curious how things back home…”
“No way!” Sunset cried. “I’m not asking if Twilight will open the portal!”
Aria’s eyes widened slightly.
Adagio put on a hurt expression and motioned to herself. “Why Sunset Shimmer, what makes you think I would even suggest such a thing?”
“Don’t give me that pile of bull!” Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “You two did the whole ‘evil look’ thing.”
Adagio scrunched her lips up to one side. “Was it that obvious?”
“Only every frickin’ time you idiots do it!”
Adagio and Aria frowned. “Hey!” Adagio said defensively. “We were born monsters! Giving each other knowing, evil looks is practically a condition for us! You wouldn’t get on someone’s case if they were born without legs, would you?”
“Oh like that’s even comparable! Anyhow…” Sunset crossed her arms into an ‘X’ and quickly flung them out. “No! Not gonna happen! I’m not sending you back!”
“Oh, come now, Sunset! We’ve lost our jewels! We can no longer sing and control people or ponies! What’s the harm in sending us back?”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “You’ll have access to magic and might find a way to recreate your jewels!”
Adagio narrowed her eyes. “Listen Sunset… If you don’t help us…”
Sunset turned and stabbed an index finger into Adagio’s chest as she glared at her angrily. “You’ll what!? WHAT are you going to do?! You’re hated by the school! I’m loved! You have just as much to lose from getting investigated as I do… Heck…” Sunset pointed to herself with a thumb. “Possibly more to lose asI can probably at least ask Princess Twilight if I can crash on her royal couch for a while if things get too hot for me in this dimension! What would you do?!”
Adagio took a step back and simply glowered at Sunset.
Aria looked at Sunset in surprise. “Woah… Someone really has a temper…”
Sunset turned and shot a glare at Aria. “You wanna make something of it?”
Aria held up her hands. “Naw, it’s cool… I mean, you’re so goody-goody a lot of the time. It’s nice to see you cut loose.”
“Uhg!” Sunset cried in frustration. “I’m trying to be goody-goody, alright!” Sunset smirked. “Don’t get me wrong, kicking all your asses by summoning a giant rainbow alicorn has gone a long way—” Sunset’s smile dropped “—but I’m trying to get away from the bitter, irate, terrible, cheating, hate-filled person I was, you know?”
Aria paused for a second and stared up as she uttered something to herself. She looked back at Sunset and smiled. “HAH! Funny!”
Sunset grinned. “Thanks, I try.”
Adagio raised an eyebrow at Aria. “Need I remind you we’re not here to make friends?”
“You might as well make an attempt,” Sunset said. “You’re stuck here!”
Adagio tilted her head slightly and gave Sunset a sideways glance. “Please… You don’t want to be stuck with us! We don’t want to be stuck here! I mean… Do you really think it’s fair you’re in charge of ‘weird horse stuff’?”
“I…” Sunset paused and rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she glanced to a side. “… That is rather unfair… I mean… if I was human in a pony body and stuck there, and a bunch of ancient singing fish-Hitlers showed up in Equestria—”
“Yeah…” Adagio agreed. Aria’s and her eyes widened and their lips pursed as they looked at each other. “Wait… fish-Hitlers?” Adagio shook her head and took a step towards Sunset. “Anyways, you’re right! We’re from Equestria!” Adagio suddenly sauntered up next to Sunset as she placed her cheek on Sunset’s and a hand on Sunset’s other cheek. “It should be the Equestrian Princess that looks after our… rehabilitation.”
Sunset tensed and raised an eyebrow as her other eye twitched slightly. “Adagio, are you trying to convince me or seduce me?”
Adagio paused. “… Would seducing you be conducive to convincing you?”
“Not so much, no…” Sunset said.
Adagio paused as she remained with her cheek pressed against Sunset’s and her hand held against her cheek. “… Would it hurt?”
Sunset’s eyes widened and she tensed her body further.
“Dagi, you’re just freaking her out,” Aria said.
Adagio turned and grinned at Aria. “Oh, come on… No need to get possessive. I’ll share~” Adagio purred.
Aria’s eyes widened as she held her hands out defensively. “I wasn’t… I mean, that’s not…”
“Stop it!” Sunset cried as she took a few steps away from Adagio. “Stop being so weird, both of you!”
Aria puffed out her lower lip, crossed her arms and looked away. “I wasn’t being weird…” she uttered sullenly to herself, her cheeks still red.
Adagio smiled at Sunset. “Just giving friendship a chance.”
“Friends respect each other’s personal space!” Sunset retorted.
-ooooooo-
“Hiiiiiiii, Bon-Bon….”
A girl with curly hair that was half pink, half blue wore a grumpy expression as she turned to look at the smiling pink-haired girl who had just placed her face mere inches from her own.
“Hi, Pinkie… You’re kind of in my personal bubble here…” Bon-Bon replied.
Pinkie giggled. “Sorry about that, Bon-bon. Hey! Can I have your spam?”
Bon-Bon sighed and held up her tray. A couple thick slices of rectangular browned and blackened meat laid in the center portion of the tray.
Pinkie smiled as quickly snagged the two slices of spam and looked up at the girl sitting across from Bon-Bon. “So, Lyra—”
A girl with light-blue hair with a white stripe in it smiled and held up her tray. “You don’t even have to ask…”
Pinkie happily grabbed two more slices of spam from Lyra’s tray and bounded over to Sonata, who stood above several square feet of pieces of spam arranged in squares and triangles on the floor. A thin pool of brown-and-yellowish oily liquid oozed from the small crude meat substance structures.
Pinkie passed two of the slices to Sonata. and the two girls gleefully began shaping their slices by nibbling on them.
Sunset grumbled irritably to herself as she walked up to the table she and her friends usually sat at. Only Applejack seemed to remain out of the five.
Applejack sat backwards on her chair, her arms resting on the top and her chin propped up on her arms. She watched Sonata and Pinkie as they giggled to themselves and arranged their newly shaped pieces of spam.
Sunset sighed and smacked a palm against her face. “What are those two doing?”
“They’re makin’ a Spam City,” Applejack informed.
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “‘Spam City’…”
Applejack nodded. “It’s a little city made outta…”
“I get it.” Sunset waved a hand about dismissively. “What I don’t get is why everyone is just letting it happen.”
Applejack shrugged. “Reckon everyone is either too disgusted or intrigued to do anything. Rarity turned all green and ran away several minutes ago.” She shook her head. “Man, those two girls can eat a lot of processed meat.”
Sunset shook her head. “Where’d they even get all that spam?”
“Pinkie’s been askin’ folk nicely for their little project. Sonata’s pretty much been threatenin’ everyone.”
“Of course…”
“Oh, what the heck is all this nonsense?” Adagio exclaimed as she walked up behind Sunset.
Aria sighed and shook her head. “Looks like Sonata found someone as dumb as her.”
Applejack turned and shot Adagio and Aria an annoyed expression. “Pinkie’s not dumb, she jus’ likes to do things she thinks sound fun… which is most things. Also… what in tarnation are you two even doing here?”
Adagio grinned. “We’re working with Sunset to find a way back home.”
Applejack turned to Sunset and eyed her suspiciously. “That a fact?”
“Hey, I never agreed to anything!” Sunset cried. “It’s just that Principal Celestia is making me watch them to keep them from being arrested just because I’m from Equestria! And since they’re from Equestria, I, maybe, think all the princesses back there should figure out what to do with them!” Sunset leaned in close to Applejack and raised a hand to block the sound of her own voice. “Also… Adagio is really touchy-feely and it’s sort of creepy.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Ain’t givin’ them sirens to Twilight kinda like dumpin’ your garbage over the fence?”
“Excuse me?!” Adagio cried.
“Hey!” Aria said as she took a couple steps up to Applejack. “Do you want a thrashing? ‘Cause I’m already in a bad mood and wouldn’t mind handing out a beating.”
Applejack looked Aria up and down. “Looks like someone already gave you one…” She stood up and adjusted her hat slightly. “But if it’s more punishment you want, I’m yer huckleberry.”
Sunset quickly stood in-between the two girls and held them at bay. “No!” she cried. “No fighting! If anyone gets hospitalized, questions about parents and guardians might come up!”
“Is that why yer helping them?” Applejack asked.
Sunset sighed. “Begrudgingly…” She looked up noticing Aria was now absent. “Hey, where’d Aria go?”
Adagio pointed over towards Pinkie and Sonata. Aria had started walking towards them.
Adagio chuckled. “She’s so lost without that moron to argue with.”
Aria stomped up towards Sonata, glowering at her, Pinkie, and their greasy creation.
“Hey, Aria!” Sonata said cheerfully as Aria approached, carefully leaning two pieces of spam against each other to form a roof for a spam ‘house’.
“Sonata,” Aria began in an irritated tone, “stop playing with all that greasy meat! It’s disgusting… you’re disgusting!”
Sonata glared up at Aria. “You are!”
“Awww, come on!” Pinkie said with a grin. “We’re just having fun! You can even help if you want.”
“Uhg, as if!” Aria said in a disgusted tone. “You’re as big of an idiot as Sonata if you think I’m not getting that crud all over my hands.”
“Hey!” Sonata said, suddenly rising to her feet. “Leave Pinkie alone! She’s nice to me!”
Aria made another disgusted noise as the other girls walked up.
“You don’t need someone to be nice to you!” Aria said. “That just encourages you to do something stupid enough that you hurt yourself.”
“Hey!” Pinkie said, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Leave her alone! She can do whatever she wants!”
“Yeah!” Sonata glowered at Aria and Adagio. “You two never let me do anything fun! You’re always telling me I can’t juggle chainsaws! Or replace all the water I drink with eggnog! Or… or… that dousing myself in chemicals and letting spiders bite me won’t give me super-powers!”
“Sonata, stop being such an idiot and come back with us!” Aria said.
“No!” Sonata said as she hid behind Pinkie and peeked over her shoulder. “I’m staying with Pinkie! She keeps snacks in her hair!”
Pinkie giggled as she reached into her hair and pulled out a handful of gummy bears, many of which had curly pink hair stuck to them.
Sonata held out her hands as Pinkie gleefully dumped several of the slightly disfigured and gooey-looking bears into it. The girls then began to happily munch on Pinkie’s hair bounty.
The other girls all cringed and made disgusted noises.
Adagio sighed. “I still vote we let her keep Sonata.”
“That’s a horrible idea,” Sunset said as she turned towards Adagio. “Pinkie needs attention as it is! Leaving her in charge of the Queen of Stupidia could only end in disaster!”
Aria chuckled. “Hehe… ‘Queen of Stupidia’… Oh man, I’ll have to remember that…”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Fine! I guess we’ll just have to deal with both of these idiots!”
Sunset frowned looked at Sonata and then at Pinkie.
Sonata glanced at Pinkie and smiled. “Hey Pinkie, guess what?”
“What?” Pinkie replied.
Sonata attempted to clamp her mouth tight as a smile fought its way onto her lips. “Pfffft…. Hahahaha… Chicken butt! Ahahahahaha!”
Pinkie broke into a fit of laughter. “Hahahahahahahahaha… You’re right, Sonata! It does get funnier every time you say it!”
Sunset suddenly plastered on a fake smile. “On second thought… Pinkie, why don’t you stay with Sonata?”
Sonata and Pinkie gasped. “For realzies?!” they exclaimed simultaneously.
Sunset nodded. “For realzi—Er… For real…”
Pinkie and Sonata looked at each other, grinned wide, and both exclaimed an exuberant “Yay!”
“Come on, Sonata!” Pinkie said. “I have world history with Ms. Cheerilee!”
Sonata gasped. “Will she have snacks?”
“Uh… Let’s find out!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Geez, Pinkie!” Sonata said. “You’re way more fun to hang out with than Adagio and Aria!”
Aria growled and sneered at Sonata as she walked off with Pinkie.
“Well, that’s one at least…” Sunset muttered as she watched Pinkie happily bound away, Sonata close behind.
Adagio shook her head as she watched them leave. “Oh, thank God!”
Aria smacked a hand against her face and grumbled to herself.
“Seriously!” Adagio cried as she looked at Aria. “Just… here…” Adagio raised her hand and positioned her thumb and forefinger into something vaguely mouth-shaped. “Just pretend my hand is Sonata… shouldn’t be hard since I’m sure you’ve practiced pretending your own hand is Sonata when you’re alone in your room…”
“DAGI!” Aria snapped as her face went from purple to beet red.
Sunset and Applejack’s eyes widened as they jumped slightly.
“Whoa!” Sunset exclaimed. “Where the heck did that come from?!”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Adagio said. Adagio looked at her hand lovingly and began stroking its hypothetical Sonata hair. “Little Aria here just can’t get enough of Little-Simpleton-Sonata. Shame really… All she probably has to do is fill a wheelbarrow with tacos and confess her undying love for the little idiot.” Adagio narrowed her eyes and began to talk in deep, nasally tone. “Oh Sonata, you beautiful dim-wit! I’m in love with you! Please accept this pile of disgusting cheap tacos as a sign of my affection.”
Aria narrowed her eyes. “I do not sound like that!”
Adagio widened her eyes as she began to speak in a high pitched tone and moved her hand’s ‘mouth’ as she spoke. “Oh, Aria! I can’t believe you got me all these tacos! I’m yours for realzies!”
Aria’s features softened slightly. “Sonata does sound like that, however.”
Adagio placed her free hand behind her ‘Sonata’ hand and brought it close to her face. She resumed her ‘Aria’ voice. “Oh, Sonata! I just want to smooch you forever and ever!”
“Oh my gosh, Dagi!” Aria said. “No way I’d ever say that!”
Sunset and Applejack exchanged disturbed, confused looks as Adagio continued.
Adagio switched to her Sonata voice. “Yes! Smooch me, then take me! Take me on this pile of tacos!”
Adagio began switching back and forth between the voices, bringing her hand ever closer to her mouth.
“Oh, Aria!”
“Oh, Sonata!”
“Oh, Aria!”
“Oh, Sonata!”
Adagio suddenly pulled her hand up to her lips and kissed it passionately.
Aria grumbled in irritation as Applejack and Sunset looked on in bewildered revulsion as the passionate kiss turned into a sloppy make-out session complete with lip smacking and slurping.
“Wow…” Sunset uttered as she stared at Adagio.
Applejack slowly lowered her hat over her eyes. “Is anyone else really uncomfortable about what’s goin’ on in front of us right now?”
Aria sighed and shook her head. “You guys don’t even want to know how often she does this!”
Adagio began speaking in her normal voice again as she continued to vigorously lick her own hand. “Oh Adagio! No one kisses like you!” she moaned.
Sunset glanced at Aria, disgust clearly inscribed across every inch of her face. “How long does this go on for?”
Aria shook her head. “Adagio can make out with her own hand for hours!”
Sunset raised a palm and placed it over her eyes. “That’s just super…” She lowered her hand. “Well… At least I feel a lot better about the friends I have now…”
“Can… Can I get in on this?”
The girls all turned to see Trixie staring intently at Adagio, almost as if Trixie was transfixed by the sight of Adagio slobbering over her own hand.
Aria shook her head. “Adagio pretty much goes into her own world whenever she gets all kissy with herself.”
Trixie pursed her lips slightly. “… Okay… But I can still watch, right?”
“TRIXIE!” Sunset snapped. “LEAVE!”
Trixie narrowed her eyes at Sunset. “Only if I get to take a video of this.”
Sunset slumped her shoulders, allowed her head to fall limply in front of her, and let out a massive sigh. “Fine, but make it quick!”
“Yes!” Trixie cried as she reached into a dark blue handbag and pulled out a smartphone in a purple case with a star pattern. She held the phone in front of her and began pressing the screen. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trrrrrrrixie always gets what she wants!”
The girls all stood around uncomfortably as Trixie began to record Adagio. Adagio continued to enthusiastically make out with her right hand, her left still held up her right as if she was holding someone’s head.
“This is stupid!” Sunset cried.
“Hey!” Aria cried. “I have to live with this! How do you think it is to me to hear Adagio cry out her own name at random times of the day!”
“Oh, Adagio!”
Aria motioned to Adagio. “See! Just like that!”
Sunset sighed and turned towards Applejack. “So, Appleja—”
Applejack held up a hand. “Ah may just end up deckin’ Aria still.” She motioned to Adagio who continued to make out with her own hand. “And Ah’m certainly not putting up with—”
“Oh, Adagio…” Adagio moaned to herself. “You’re making me so hot!”
“—with that!”
“Come on!” Sunset cried. She suddenly looked down as she pulled open her jacket and thrust a hand inside. She soon pulled out a large, leather wallet and unzipped it. “Here, I’ll give you—”
“I don’t care how much you pay me!” Applejack said.
Sunset looked up as the color drained from her face. “Se-seriously?”
Applejack nodded. “There’s not enough money on this plan—”
Sunset pulled out a bill. “I’ll give you twenty dollars right now if—”
Applejack’s eyes went wide. “Whoa! Twenty whole doll—Uh… Ah mean no! There’s no…”
Sunset pulled out a few more bills. “Fifty!”
Beads of sweat began to form in between Applejack’s eyebrows and hat. “… Na… no… I there’s jus’ no way…”
“Come on, A.J.!” Sunset set as she clasped her hands together, the money sticking out. “I’m already willing to live off ramen for a few weeks to get at least one of these wackjobs out of my hair! You gotta help me out!”
Applejack looked at the money and swallowed. “Well I—”
“Oh GOD, Adagio! You’re so good at this!”
Applejack broke eye contact with the bills in Sunset’s hands and looked up at Aria. “Isn’t there some way to stop her?” she asked.
Aria thought for a second. “Yo, Dagi! Sonata still has our cash and you let her just run off with that crazy pink-haired girl.”
“Oh Ada… WHAT?!” Adagio cried as she pulled her slobber covered hand away from her mouth.
Aria crossed her arms in front of her chest. “THAT’S why I didn’t want Sonata just to run off like that!”
Adagio stared at her. Her face turned bright red and she pointed an accusatory index finger as she glared at Aria furiously. “But you… You should have said something!”
Aria flung her hands up into the air. “WELL, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE IF YOU WEREN’T TOO BUSY MAKING OUT WITH YOUR HAND!”
“YOU LEAVE SEXY-SLIM-RIGHTY OUT OF THIS!”
Sunset stared blankly at Adagio and Aria. “… The hell have you all managed to keep alive so long?”
“Awww…” Trixie uttered. “Is the show over…?”
Sunset shot Trixie a look that would have vaporized her in an instant if looks could kill. “TRIXIE! LEAVE!”
“VERY WELL!” Trixie cried as she raised a fist into the air. “Trixie shall take her leave of you all!” She threw her fist downward, and with a loud ‘POP!’ a puff of smoke enveloped the area.
The girls all closed their eyes and began coughing as smoke stung their eyes and filled their lungs. Soon it had cleared and an empty space was all that remained of Trixie.
“Trixie…” Sunset uttered in an annoyed tone. “I can see you hiding behind the table staring at Adagio.”
Trixie cringed and made a mash dash for the door.
“Uhg!” Adagio uttered. “Now we need to track that idiot down again."
Applejack shrugged. "You can probably just watch out for a bunch of students running away in either disgust or fear."
Sunset glanced at Adagio. “You know if you need money, Trixie seemed pretty attracted to you…”
Adagio turned and glared at Sunset. “What are you implying…?”
Sunset grinned. “Oh, well… She’s attracted to you… You don’t seem to have much qualms about putting your hands all over her, so maybe you two can strike a deal.”
Aria snorted as she tried to stifle a laugh.
Adagio glared at Sunset. “Are you suggesting I prostitute myself to get money?”
Sunset smiled. “Prostitute is not the word I’d use…” Sunset let her smile drop. “I was thinking ‘whore’.”
Adagio glared at Sunset as Aria broke into a fit of laughter. Even Applejack chuckled to herself.
Adagio suddenly broke her glare and stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Hmmmm… Well… without the ability to mind control anyone, we will need a way to make money if we’re stuck here.”
“Dagi!” Aria snapped.
Sunset uttered an alarmed “Erk!” before she waved her hands out in front of her. “No, wait! I was just trying to get under your skin! If you get picked up for prostitution they’ll definitely investigate the school!”
Adagio smirked at Sunset. “Well, we have to do something for money.” Her smile dropped. “And don’t even think of suggesting we get a job. I’d rather commit robbery!”
“Can’t argue with you there…” Aria said.
Sunset sighed heavily and slumped forward, letting her hair fall in front of her face. She turned and gave Applejack a pleading look with her turquoise eyes through a small opening in her hair.
Applejack scrunched her lips slightly. “You know… After spendin’ a few minutes with these girls, askin’ Twilight for help is sounding a lot more reasonable.”
Sunset breathed a sigh of relief.
“A’ course, she’s probably not gonna be too quick to help you given what you’ve been sending her in that magic book you have.”
Sunset tensed and shuddered slightly.
“Wait,” Adagio said. “What have you been sending—”
“Yo, Applejerk! Sunset Shimnerd!”
The group turned as Rainbow Dash approached. She smiled smugly and gave Applejack and Sunset a quick wave as she approached, then suddenly stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes looked over Adagio and Aria.
“Rainbow Dash!” Sunset exclaimed happily. “I’m glad your back! You see—”
“Nope!” Rainbow Dash announced once more before sprinting away.
“Wait!” Sunset cried. “Don’t leave me with both these lunatics!”
Adagio smirked at Sunset. “Nice friends you have here.”
“Shut up!” Sunset cried. “They just don’t want to deal with you two on account that your personalities are worse than a bronco with an improperly nailed on horseshoe.”
Applejack’s face lit up. “Why Sunset Shimmer, did you just make a farm simile?”
Sunset smiled and nodded. “I sure did… best friend.”
“Awww, shucks,” Applejack said as she blushed slightly. “That’s mighty sweet of ya…” She tilted her head as her smiled faded. “But I ain’t lookin’ after one of them sirens. Not even for a hundred dollars.”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Oh, well screw you then.”
Adagio smiled. “If you’re looking for someone to keep an eye on us, I’m sure that Trixie girl would be—”
“FINE!” Sunset interrupted. “I’ll just take them both!”
‘Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!’
The girls glanced up as sudden ringing resounded through the halls. Students stood up from their tables and began to grab backpacks as they packed up their things.
“Welp, Ah better be moseyin’ on to my next class…” Applejack said.
“Traitor…” Sunset uttered with narrowed eyes.
“Now don’t be like that, Sunset.” Applejack put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Look, Ah’ll help you work this all out when school’s over…”
Sunset’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“… for fifty dollars,” Applejack added.
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Ten!”
Applejack narrowed her eyes in response. “Forty!”
“Twenty!”
Applejack smirked. “Thirty.”
Sunset sighed and retrieved a couple bills from her jacket pocket. “Fine… Just don’t tell the other girls you’re getting paid to help, alright?”
Applejack took the money and smiled wide. “Deal!” She placed the money in a skirt pocket then tipped her hat to Sunset. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah…”
Adagio smiled as she placed both her hands on Sunset’s shoulder and leaned in close. “So what exciting topic are we going to cover as we all experience the magic of high school together?”
Aria grumbled to herself. “Uhg… Actually attending classes…. This blows…”
“Just stay with me the both of you,” Sunset said pulled herself out of Adagio’s grip, turned, and motioned for the other two to start following her. “Otherwise I might just need to get leashes for those collars around your necks!”
Adagio feigned a gasp as she and Aria fell in step behind Sunset. “Why, Sunset Shimmer! I didn’t know you were into such kinky stuff.”
Aria began laughing as Sunset Shimmer erupted into a frustrated growl and ruffled her own hair.
Chapter 3: Hello Teacher Tell Me, What's My Lesson?
Chapter 3: Hello Teacher Tell Me, What's My Lesson?
-ooooooo-
“Mrs. Cheery?”
Ms. Cheerilee groaned quietly to herself and plastered on a fake smile as she turned from the chalk board. She turned and stared at Sonata as her face twitched slightly, her frustration continuing to eat away at her fake enthusiasm. “It’s MissCheerilee, and what is it?”
Sonata slowly lowered her hand. “If the Nazis where such a big threat, why didn’t the Mega Rangers take them out?”
A few errant chuckles and laughs escaped the other students.
Pinkie gasped. “I love the Mega Rangers!”
Cheerilee pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out a slow, continuous sigh. “Pinkie, for the last time, if your guest can’t behave herself, I’m going to have to ask her to leave! She’s not even enrolled in this class!”
Pinkie’s eyes widened and she puffed out her lower lip. “But she’s got nowhere else to go!”
Sonata nodded as she shot Cheerilee a pleading look. “It’s true! My friends beat me up and abandoned me!”
The males of the class uttered a few sympathetic sounding “Awwww”s.
Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “They did! They totally did! I saw the whole thing! You wouldn’t want Sonata to die of exposure, would you?!”
Cheerilee folded her arms across her chest. “It’s bright, warm, and sunny outside! And besides, she could still stay in the school if she wanted!”
“But… but… I want to learn!” Sonata cried.
Pinkie motioned to Sonata as she puffed out her lip even further. “Don’t kick her out, Ms. Cheerilee! She just wants a second chance!”
Cheerilee fought the urge to scowl. Many of the students seemed oddly sympathetic towards Sonata despite the fact she had participated in mind-controlling them very recently.
“Mrs. Charlee?”
“Ms. Cheerilee, and what is it?!”
“Is it snack time yet?”
“THERE’S NO SNACK TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL CLASSES!”
Sonata frowned heavily. “Well that’s just lame.”
“I know, right?!” Pinkie cried. “What if we can’t learn good because we’re distracted with hunger?!”
The other students murmured in agreement.
“I DON’T MAKE THE RULES REGARDING SNACKS IN CLASS!” Cheerilee snapped. “Now can I please continue my lesson on World War II?!”
Sonata raised her hand.
Cheerilee sighed. “Yes, Sonata… What is it?”
“How many world wars have there been?”
“TWO!” Cheerilee cried. “How can you not know that?!”
“I’m trying to learn!” Sonata cried. “I thought that’s how you learned stuff, by asking questions!”
“It is!” Pinkie cried. “It’s totally how you learn stuff!”
Cheerilee let out a defeated sounded sigh. “Alright… fine… Just… just let me try to continue this lesson on the Nazi expansion…”
“She’ll be good!” Pinkie insisted. She turned towards Sonata. “Won’t you Sonata?”
“I’ll certainly try my best!” Sonata answered cheerfully.
“And that’s all anyone could ask for!” Pinkie replied.
Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Oh, I can think of a few more things…” she uttered to herself. She turned back to her blackboard and began writing on it. “Now, can anyone guess as to why the Nazis needed to expand their territory as part of the war effort, whereas the Allies did not?”
“Miss Cheerilee?”
Cheerilee fought the urge to turn and angrily scowl at Sonata, taking some solace in the fact that the girl finally got her name right. “Yes, Sonata?” she replied without turning. “What is it?”
“‘Miss’ means you’re not married right?”
“Erm… That’s correct.”
“Are you not married because you’re boring?”
Cheerilee turned around without plastering on a fake smile this time. She shot Sonata a hate-filled gaze as she bit into her lower lip hard. The other students either giggled nervously or scooted their desks a few inches away from Sonata depending on their proximity to her. Even Pinkie’s normally happy face had turned to worry as she stared up at Cheerilee.
Cheerilee breathed in and out deeply as her eye twitched. “Report… due… tomorrow!” Cheerilee exclaimed through clenched teeth.
The groans from the class were almost deafening.
Cheerilee fixed her students with a glare. “Oh don’t give me that! You’ve all had ample time to prepare.”
“I haven’t!” Sonata cried.
“YOU’RE NOT A STUDENT OF MY CLASS!” Cheerilee cried.
Pinkie’s hand shot up. “What is she helps me with my report?”
“Yeah!” Sonata said excitedly. “Can I, can I?” Sonata opened her eyes as wide as she could and cupped her arms under her chin. “Puleeeaseeee?”
Cheerilee thought about this briefly. Well… I’d say that’s unfair to the other students… But I’ve barely met the girl and already I can tell her ‘helping’ Pinkie will be a huge disadvantage… Cheerilee suddenly smiled wickedly to herself. And when Pinkie flunks her report I can at least say that Sonata is a horrible influence on her and get her to stay out of my class…
“Well… Normally I’d have to say ‘no’, but in your case I’ll make an exception.”
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged happy glances and cried “Yay!” as they threw their arms up in the air triumphantly.
“Does it have to be this world?” Sonata asked.
“… What?” Cheerilee asked as she tried to process the bizarreness of the question.
“I mean… Could Pinkie and I do a report on my world?”
Cheerilee paused and thought about it. Well… That could be interesting… Of course, I’d have no way to verify if anything they wrote is true or not…
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” Cheerilee said tentatively. “I mean… this is world history as in this world, and—”
Pinkie gasped. “But that’s discrimination against a planet! Planetism!”
Cheerilee tried to protest. “But…”
Sonata gasped. “Maybe speciesist even!”
Pinkie turned to Ms. Cheerilee. “Ms. Cheerilee, are you speciesist against horse people?” Pinkie asked.
“I… WHAT?!” Cheerilee replied. “NO! I didn’t even know they existed until earlier this year!”
“What about fish-horse people?” Sonata asked.
“I…” Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “You’re like a seahorse, then?”
Sonata inhaled a massive amount of air before she brought her hands up to her mouth. Her eyelids began to quiver as tears start to trickle down her eyes. “You… think… you think I’m a seahorse?!”
“Uh… I mean…er… it seemed like the closest comparison…”
“Sniff… choke… I knew it! I knew you hated me because you’re specie-sob-speciesist…”
“No! I’m not—”
Pinkie patted Sonata on the shoulder. “There, there, Sonata… I’m sure Ms. Cheerilee didn’t mean—”
Sonata broke into tears. “WHOOUAAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAA! IT’S TRUE! I’M JUST A USELESS, DUMB OL’ SEAHORSE AND THAT’S ALL I’LL EVER BE! I’M GARBAGE! I CAN JUST GO DIE! WHOOUAAAAAHOUAAAAHOUAAAAA! ”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip as her eyes watered up, she turned and stared at Cheerilee with the grand-high empress of all puppy-dog expressions.
Cheerilee felt her face go hot as she desperately tried to figure out a solution to the problem in front of her. She did a quick check of the students and noticed a fair amount were glaring at her if she had just kicked a puppy while laughing maniacally about it.
“Okay! You can do a report on your world!” Cheerilee said. “Just stop crying!”
Sonata immediately stopped crying as if a switch marked ‘sob hysterically’ had just been switched off. “For realzies?! And when Pinkie and I do a good job you’ll let me stay in the class?”
“Fine, just… Wait, what?”
‘Riiiiiiiiiiiing~!’
The students suddenly got up out of their chairs and started filing for the exit.
“Thanks Ms. Cheerilee!” Pinkie cried as she quickly ran up and hugged Cheerilee. “You’re the best!”
“Yeah!” Sonata cried as she too ran up and hugged Cheerilee. “Thanks Ms. Chimichanga!”
Ms. Cheerilee tried to protest the current events, but she found speaking difficult as Sonata practically crushed her torso as she squeezed with all her might.
“Come on, Sonata!” Pinkie said as she let go of Cheerilee. “We have a report to work on, then you get to stay in class with me forever!”
Sonata let go of Cheerilee and followed Pinkie. “Hurray! Then I can ask all the questions I want!”
Pinkie and Sonata happily bounded for the exit of the class.
“No… Wait…” Ms. Cheerilee pleaded in hoarse voice as oxygen finally entered her lungs.
‘SLAM!’
Ms. Cheerilee stared at the door to her classroom. “What just…. What just happened?”
-o-
“Isn’t it great, Sonata?” Pinkie said as she and Sonata excitedly walked down the hallway. “You get to tell me all about your world and then we get to do a report about it!”
“I know, right?”
“Hey… uh… I’m really sorry about what happened in there.”
“Oh, the no snacks thing?” Sonata asked. “Yeah! What’s even up with that?”
“No! Not that!” Pinkie cried. “You know…” Pinkie said. She leaned in close to Sonata and cupped a hand around her mouth. “When she used the S-H word,” she whispered.
“… Ms. Cheerilee swore?” Sonata said as she stared off into space. “I didn’t notice…”
“Yeah! You know… the… er… fish… er pony… thing…” Pinkie said sheepishly.
Sonata paused for a moment. “Oh right, that!”
“I felt really bad for you!” Pinkie said. “I mean… that must have really hurt even if Ms. Cheerilee probably didn’t mean anything. She’s usually really nice.”
“Uh… Yeah…I was totes insulted back there…. And junk… but erm… we should talk about other things. Like where to get snacks.”
Pinkie grinned. “I’ll get us something out of the vending machines!” she declared. “Wait here, okay!”
“Yay!” Sonata said. She giggled to herself as she watched Pinkie bound off down the hall. “Hehehe… Seahorse… I can’t believe they all bought that…”
-ooo-
“So… Sunset Shimmer…”
“Trying to take notes here, Adagio…” Sunset said in an irritated tone as she continued to scrawl down notes. She sat in the back of the class flanked on either side by Adagio and Aria. Aria seemed the very picture of boredom, shifting constantly in her desk almost as if the thing wasn’t even made for a human to sit in. Adagio seemed a tad more focused, but on Sunset and the other students as opposed to the lesson being taught.
At the front of the class, a man with black hair that was set oddly on top of his head as if it didn’t belong lectured on about chemistry. He wore a brown sweater over a white shirt and tie. Red pants hung somewhat loosely around his legs. He’d occasionally shot an irritated glance off towards the back of the room as he continued his lesson.
Adagio sighed at Sunset. “You’re no fun…”
Aria chimed in. “This whole stupid school thing is no fun!”
Sunset rolled her eyes as she continued to write on the paper in front of her. “Yeah, well you two aren’t making it any easier…”
“Look,” Adagio said, “I just wanted to have a nice, innocent conversation about which students in this class you’d do and how you’d do them.”
Sunset’s face turned bright red and she stopped writing. “Wha… what?”
A sizeable portion of the students around the trio of girls immediately stopped paying attention to the lesson and perked their ears up towards Adagio.
Aria rolled her eyes. “Oh, here we go…”
Adagio pointed out into the class. “That guy with the curly blue hair and tornado on his shirt? I’d get him hyped up on caffeine and then we’d just go at it as weasels.”
“… Not having this conversation,” Sunset said as she raised the fingertips of her free hand to her forehead and clenched her teeth together.
Aria sighed and rested her cheek against her palm. “Doesn’t matter, Adagio’s going to have it anyway.”
Adagio continued, pointing off to another student. “The guy with the green hair and the dreads? He kind of strikes me as the guy who likes to lay back and let the other person do all the work. I’d sit on top of him and ride him until he couldn’t tell up from down. Though… that might not be very long by the looks of him.”
“Still not having this conversation…” Sunset said.
By now almost all the students were listening to Adagio.
Adagio pointed again. “That girl with the long black hair, purple vest, and purple socks? I remember her playing the double bass during the battle of the bands… I bet she has great finger work.”
An excited girl’s voice suddenly rang out from the class. “YEAH! GO TAVI!”
“BE QUIET, VINYL!”
“MS. SHIMMER!” the teacher cried in an angry, harsh tone. “Why did you bring those two trouble makers into my classroom?! They’re not even enrolled!”
Sunset sighed as she looked up from her notes. “They’re not enrolled in any classes, Mr. Donkey, and I’m stuck with them. Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna said I had to make sure they don’t get arrested or anything since they’re technically students, but don’t have guardians… Like me.”
Mr. Donkey glared angrily at Sunset. “I don’t care what your situation is, there is no way—”
Sunset balled her hand and brought it up to her mouth. “Cough—N-methyl-alpha-methylphenethylamine—cough.”
Mr. Donkey’s face turned white as a sheet that had been soaked in bleach for several hours. “—no way I’m allowing two promising minds to go without learning such important information like how many phenyl rings are in triphenylmethanol.”
Sunset smiled and nodded satisfactorily.
His face still white, Mr. Donkey turned and continued his lecture.
Adagio raised an eyebrow at Sunset. “What the heck was that all about?”
Aria looked at Sunset in awe. “Yeah! Was that some sort of magic word to get the teacher to do whatever you say?”
Sunset chuckled. “In a manner of speaking. I told you I used to rule this school. Pretty easy when you know everyone’s dirty secrets.”
“Alright,” Adagio replied, “but what was his secret? I don’t even know what N-methal…alpha… whatever is!”
Sunset shook her head. “Now if I told you, then you might just go blow the secret, then what would I do to get Mr. Donkey to do what I want?”
“At least give us the gist of it,” Aria said. “There’s got to be a story here or something…”
“Let’s just say Mr. Donkey once earned a ton of money for his family through… less than legal means when doctors told him he had incurable cancer.”
Adagio and Aria glanced back up at Mr. Donkey as he continued to rattle on about hydroxyl group bounds. They turned back to Sunset.
“Wait… so… he’s dying?” Aria asked.
Sunset shook his head. “No… turns out what the doctors thought was cancer was just his excess crankiness that had formed some sort of growth.”
“I heard that, Miss Shimmer!” Mr. Donkey said indignantly.
Sunset flashed Mr. Donkey a dazzling ‘What are you going to do about it?’ smile. “Oh, I know.”
-oooooo-
Sunset trudged up towards the massive white horse statue in front of Canterlot High, an orange backpack slung over her shoulder and Adagio and Aria behind her. Students milled about, but almost all in a direction heading away from the school. The ones in danger of getting close to Adagio and Aria would suddenly shift direction to make sure they didn’t cross paths.
As she neared the statue she noticed a familiar cowboy hat sitting on top of a familiar blond girl.
Applejack waved as Sunset approached.
Sunset gave Applejack a small smile and waved back, noting with some extra degree of relief that both Rarity and Fluttershy were also waiting. Though both looked significantly more reluctant to be there than Applejack. Sunset smiled to herself all the same, happy for the extra help.
As Sunset, Adagio, and Aria approached the statue, Adagio and Aria flashed the other girls angry glares, causing Fluttershy to seek shelter behind Rarity. She peeked out from behind Rarity’s hair at the girls with a frightful look.
“Hello Sunset, darling,” Rarity greeted with a sheepish smile as she cast a wary glance at Adagio and Aria. “Applejack told us of your…erm… predicament as it were… and Fluttershy and I wanted to say we’re here to support you… Just so long as we don’t have to touch or talk to those horrible girls.”
Aria glared at Rarity. “The feeling is mutual, prissy!”
Rarity uttered an “Hmph!” and turned her nose up at Aria.
Adagio tilted her head slightly to get a better look at Fluttershy. “Are you sure you won’t be touching us? I wouldn’t mind getting felt up by the shy girl back there.”
Fluttershy uttered a startled squeak before she disappeared almost completely behind Rarity. Only her fingers remained visible, grasping onto Rarity’s shoulders.
“That’s fine!” Sunset said. “You don’t have to touch or talk to them! Just please help me keep them out of too much trouble.”
Applejack shook her head. “Easier said than done.”
“Look! I know this is a pain,” Sunset said, “but just bear with me and I’m sure we can get Twilight to take them off our hands and into her hooves.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Right, Applejack told me about your plan… Are you sure she’ll jump right to helping you? I mean you did draw…”
“I KNOW!” Sunset cried. “Look, I have to try…”
Fluttershy poked her head out from behind Rarity. “Maybe you should apologi—”
“Just let me try asking first, alright?!” Sunset snapped.
Fluttershy let out another startled squeak and hid behind Rarity once more.
Sunset sighed. “Sorry, Fluttershy… I’m just a bit on edge because of these two.”
Adagio raised an eyebrow. “What exactly did you send to—”
“Hey dorks!”
The girls turned as Rainbow Dash approached.
“What’s…” Rainbow Dash caught a glimpse of Adagio and Aria. Her smile and her body immediately turned a 180 and she began running. “Nope!”
Sunset narrowed her eyes as she stared at Rainbow Dash. “Applejack, I will give you five dollars to bring Rainbow Dash back here.”
“Hot-diggity-dog!” Applejack said as she ran off after Rainbow Dash. “I’m gonna get my lassoing rope and hogtie her! YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!”
“Whatever!” Sunset shouted after her. “Just get her back!”
Adagio smirked. “Rope, huh? Guess your friends like some kinky stuff, too.”
Aria burst out laughing as Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s cheeks turned slightly red. Fluttershy turned and put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle a giggle.
“Look, just shut up!” Sunset cried. “It’s bad enough I have to keep an eye on you two! I don’t need to listen to all your weird innuendos as well! Now if you two can just stop annoying me long enough to write a letter to Princess Twilight, maybe you can go back to Equestria and I can get you out of my hair and everyone will be happy!”
“Alright, alright,” Adagio said as she waved hand about dismissively. “Don’t let us stop you.”
“I won’t,” Sunset said. She pointed off towards the school. “Now go back inside and wait.”
“What?” Adagio said.
“What the heck?!” Aria cried.
“You two know too much about how this all works already!” Sunset cried. “I don’t want you to actually see the magic in action! Who knows what you’d try to do!”
Adagio motioned to herself. “Why Sunset Shimmer, I’m hurt! Whatever did we do to make you think you couldn’t trust us?”
Sunset simply fixed Adagio with a scowl.
Adagio sighed and held up her hands. “Alright, you can’t and shouldn’t trust us. Fine, we’ll just go wait in the school. But where’s that excessively bubbly pink-haired friend of yours? I believe she still has our idiot.”
“Hey!” Aria protested. “That was my line and you stole it!”
Adagio started speaking in her mocking nasally tone, “My name is Aria and I think I’m soooo clever just because I spend all my time picking on a girl who doesn’t know her left from her down as a way to mask my hidden feelings for her!”
“Daaagiiii…” Aria growled out in a warning tone as she balled her hands up into fists.
“Knock it off, you two!” Sunset cried. “You both already beat the snot out of each other today, and I don’t want to have to explain why you took another trip to Nurse Redheart’s to the Principals.” Sunset turned towards her friends. “Has anyone seen Pinkie?”
Fluttershy’s mousy voice came out from behind Rarity. “She said something about doing a history report with Sonata…”
“History report?” Sunset replied as her eyes widened in surprise. “Well… I guess Sonata’s probably been around for a while… but I have trouble believing she’s retained much information.”
Aria shook her head. “Sonata doesn’t even remember what month it is most the time, let alone current events. The only reason she tracks each day is so she knows how far or near the next Taco Tuesday is…”
“Well… whatever…” Sunset said dismissively. “I’m sure they can’t get into too much trouble working on a report.”
Rarity glanced up off into the distance. “Uh… Sunset Shimmer, dear? Applejack is coming back… with erm… Rainbow Dash in tow…”
The other girls looked up. Adagio and Aria immediately began sniggering to themselves as Sunset raised a palm to her face. “Oh Lord…”
“BOY-HOWDY!” Applejack shouted as she walked up, dragging Rainbow Dash behind her by a rope tied around Rainbow’s wrists and ankles. “She sure put up a fight, but I got her in the end.”
Sunset sighed as she reached into her jacket, pulled out a five dollar bill, and handed it to Applejack.
Rainbow Dash looked up slightly to glare at Sunset past her tied up limbs as Applejack dragged her on her side. “What the heck!” she Dash cried. “Why’d you pay Applejack to tie me up?! Is this some weird bondage thing? ‘Cause you know—”
“Rainbow Dash, shut up!” Sunset demanded.
Adagio and Aria started laughing.
Sunset turned and glared at them. “Not one word you two!” Sunset turned back to Rainbow Dash. “Look, you’re my friend, right?”
Rainbow Dash sighed and stared up at the sky. “Yeeeeaaah…” she said begrudgingly.
“And friends help each other, right?”
Rainbow Dash gave a heavier sigh and an even more begrudging and drawn out “Yeeeeaaaah…”
“So just help me keep an eye on these two! All you have to do is keep them from getting arrested… or doing anything that might get you arrested with them…”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “So no beating them up?”
“Hey!” Aria snapped. She slammed her right fist into her left palm. “You ever want to have a go, just let me know.”
“Me too,” Adagio said. “That sounds like it’d be fun to watch… Like watching a T.V. test pattern get it on with a grapesicle.”
Sunset groaned.
Rarity’s face turned red.
Applejack tilted her hat downwards over her face.
Rainbow Dash looked up in befuddlement.
Fluttershy giggled.
Aria shot an irritated glance at Adagio. “Not what I meant by ‘have a go’, Adagio.”
Rainbow Dash looked up at Adagio then to Sunset. “Is she always like this?”
Sunset sighed. “Unfortunately.”
Rainbow Dash paused for a beat. “I like it.”
Adagio smirked as the other girls groaned.
Aria raised a palm to her head. “Oh, please don’t encourage her… She’s bad enough as it is…”
Sunset shook her head. “Whatever… A.J., untie Rainbow Dash.” Sunset turned towards the Dazzlings. “You two go head back to the school… We’ll reach out to Princess Twilight.”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine… keep the details of how you reach out to the princess secret. We just want to go home.” Adagio motioned for Aria to follow her. “Come on, Aria.”
Sunset waited for Adagio and Aria to enter the school before slinging her backpack in front of her. She pulled out a large, hardbound book with her cutie mark on the front of it and opened it. She flipped past a few pages containing illustrations of butts wearing crowns, dresses, or even with horns and wings and found a blank spot. “Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle…”
-ooo-
Across dimensions a similar book with Celestia’s cutie mark on the front glowed red and vibrated.
‘Buzz… Buzz…’
Spike looked up from a comic he was reading as he sat in his small stone chair. The book had simply been left open and face down on the floor. Much as if it had been angrily thrown.
“Hey, Twilight,” Spike said. “Your book is… er… buzzing…”
Twilight sighed as she stared out an open window in the large council room. “Who cares… It’s probably just more butts…”
Spike set down his comic, hopped up out of his chair, and walked over to the book. He picked it up, chortling to himself as he flipped past a few pages of butts, then came to a page where he watched words slowly appear with a sparkling glow. “She’s writing something…” Spike said. “I think Sunset needs your help.”
“Oh?” Twilight said as a mischievous smirk crossed her face. She turned to Spike. “Give it here… and get me some ink, a quill, and an anatomy book.”
-ooo-
“Hey, she’s writing something back…” Sunset said as a purple glow emanated from her book.
“Oh, well that was fast!” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself. “Not as fast as me though!”
The other girls all turned and shot Rainbow Dash a collection of looks ranging from bemused to mildly-annoyed.
“Dash,” Sunset began, “do you need constant validation to keep yourself from having some sort of depression meltdown?”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “Yes.”
Sunset sighed. “Just… go talk to the counselor or something… Twilight is… she’s… she’s…” Sunset stared down at the book for a second, closed her eyes, then let out a sound as if she was sighing and groaning simultaneously.
“What she writin’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
Sunset simply handed the book to Applejack and began to stomp off.
“Whoa, Nelly!” Applejack cried before covering her eyes.
Sunset walked off onto the lawn of Canterlot High as the other girls circled around Applejack.
Rarity’s face changed from white to bright red. “Oh… oh my…”
“Oh wow, it’s so detailed!” Fluttershy said as she peeked over Rarity’s shoulder.
“And it’s so big!” Rarity cried.
Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side as she stared at the page. “How do you think she’d even fit it all inside her?”
“BUCK!” Sunset screamed at the top of her lungs. “BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK!BUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
Applejack handed the book to Rarity and walked over towards Sunset. “Well, Ah mean… Did you expect her to just help after you’ve been making fun of her ever since you got that magic book?”
“But it’s so laaaaaaame!” Sunset moaned. “And why am I asking her for friendship advice when she spent most her time here avoiding and acting all awkward around me?!”
“Oh, wow!” Fluttershy uttered as she, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash continued to hover around the book. “Now she’s even labeling everything.”
Applejack shrugged. “A fair point, but now you need for help for something important. Maybe you should write an apolo—”
“UHG!” Sunset groaned out.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “I really think you should apo—”
“UHHHHHG!”
“WHAT YOU NEED TA DO IS SWALLOW YER PRIDE AND—”
“I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO!” Sunset shouted back. “I just don’t want to!” she whined.
Applejack folded her arms across her chest. “It’s either you make-up with Twilight, or yer stuck taking care of them three sirens.”
Sunset turned her palms face up and tensed her fingers into claws as she uttered out something incomprehensible. She followed this up by handing her head and letting out a long, drawn out sigh. “I’ll figure out something… Guess I better go tell those two jerkwads that they’re stuck here a little longer…”
Sunset trudged off towards the school, eventually coming upon the white steps the lead up to the main entrance. She walked up and stepped through one of the glass doors, walking into the foyer where Adagio and Aria where waiting.
“So…” Adagio said as she stared at Sunset with a grumpy expression, “… what did the ‘lame and purple’ Princess of Friendsh—”
“SHE DREW A MASSIVE HORSE C@*%!” Sunset snapped angrily.
Adagio paused mid-sentence and turned to Aria. The two girls tried desperately to keep straight faces, but soon their quivering lips opened wide as laughter poured out of them.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” Sunset said. “But while Princess Twilight would rather send me detailed and labeled pictures of pony anatomy then help me, you two are stuck here!”
Adagio and Aria stopped laughing.
“Unacceptable,” Adagio declared.
Aria nodded. “This place is horrible! You’re horrible!”
“Look, I hate you two as well and I’d like nothing more for you to be shipped off to magical horsey land to learn the true meaning of Christmas or Hearths Warming or whatever! But while Ms. Uptight Princess of Friendship is ticked at me you’re stuck here!”
Adagio and Aria exchanged quick, confused glances.
“Why is she mad at you?” Adagio asked.
“Yeah!” Aria exclaimed. “We thought you two were like… magic rainbow friendship bosom buddies or something…”
Sunset sighed. “Look, mistakes were made, butts were drawn… Can we move on?”
Adagio and Aria exchanged confused glances then looked back at Sunset. “Wait, what?”
Sunset glanced to her side as she crunched her lips up to one side of her mouth. “I may have found the exercise of writing to Twilight for friendship advice from my magic book incredibly pointless so drew a whole bunch of butts instead…”
“Wait…” Adagio said. “You used your magical two-way interdimensional communication book… to draw butts.”
“I said ‘may’. Can we please change the—”
“Wow, Sunset.” Aria said with a surprised look. “You’re a lot cooler than I thought!”
“…Really?” Sunset said as a small smile crossed her face.
Adagio nodded. “I know, right?! She’s so perky and happy-looking when she’s not being annoyed! Who’d have thought she had the guts to prank that purple pony princess.”
Sunset grinned. “Well… You may have noticed I kind of had to bail everyone out from your little attempt to take over the school.”
“Little?!” Adagio and Aria cried.
Sunset continued, “So writing to her for advice always rubbed me the wrong way… Anyway, I’ll smooth things over with Twilight.” She gave Adagio and Aria a stern look. “But you two need to keep out of trouble!”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “Sunset, we’re not a couple of preschoolers who need constant supervision! We’re both perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see who's still around that will pay me for the privilege of touching my hot body.” She began to walk off into the school.
One of Sunset’s eyes twitched.
Aria spoke up. “And I’m going to kick things that annoy me… a.k.a. everything!” She also began to walk off into the school.
Sunset’s other eye twitched. She sighed heavily. “Get back here, you two…”
Sunset Shimmer sat at her desk in her small single bedroom apartment with a pencil in her hand as she slumped over a piece of line paper. She scrunched her brow in concentration as she stared down at the paper in front of her, scribbling more words on it. She soon reached the end of the piece and added it to a pile of pages, already filled with paragraphs of writing.
Rainbow Dash sat with a bored expression on a red couch with wooden armrests across from Sunset’s desk. Fluttershy on the opposite side of the couch and watched Sunset with quiet interest. Rarity sat in a red armchair and seemed to be staring at something else entirely. Applejack walked over to Sunset and peered down at her work.
“Now, Ah don’t know a heck a lot of about yer magic book, but if yer apologizing to Princess Twilight, shouldn’t you be writin’ it in the book?”
“I will,” Sunset answered. “This is just the rough draft.”
“Rough draft?” Rarity said as she walked up. “Sunset darling, it looks like you’ve written a novel!” She motioned to the pile of papers Sunset had already completed.
Sunset gave a sigh. “Yep.”
Sitting across the room next to Fluttershy on a red couch with wooden armrests, Rainbow Dash smirked. “You screwed up big time, didn’t you?”
Sunset gave a heavier sigh and motioned to the large, hardcover book on her desk that bared her cutie mark. “Yep.”
Rainbow Dash leapt to her feet, walked over to the book, and opened it. She flipped past the first couple of pages before her eyes went wide and she broke into laughter. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”
Fluttershy quietly stood up and walked over to Rainbow Dash. Soon her, Applejack and Rarity all stood behind Rainbow and looked at the book.
“Oh my…” Fluttershy uttered.
“She’s certainly dedicated, alright…” Applejack said with a smirk.
“Sunset dear,” Rarity exclaimed as Rainbow Dash turned a page, “there must be hundreds of these doodles of derrieres!”
Sunset gave an even heavier sigh. “YEP!”
“HEY!” Adagio yelled as she emerged from the apartment’s bedroom. “HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO WEAR THIS?!”
“YEAH!” Aria chimed in. “I KEEP GETTING ADAGIO’S HAIR IN MY MOUTH AND I’M GAGGING ON HAIRSPRAY FUMES!”
Sunset swiveled in her chair and scowled at the two sirens who scowled back at her. Both were stuffed into a massive white t-shirt with the words ‘Our get-along shirt’ and constantly fidgeted in a futile attempt to get some distance from each other.
“You two are wearing that until I’m sure you can stand to be in each other’s company without physically assaulting each other!”
Adagio pointed her right index finger at Sunset. Her left was in the shirt and seemed to be engaged in an ineffective slap fight with Aria’s right hand. “Well, if you’d just let us do our own things, we wouldn’t have to be in each other’s company!”
Aria sighed heavily. “For once I agree with you, Adagio.”
Sunset stood up and leveled an index finger at the two girls. “Listen, you two were both going to go out and do a bunch of things that could get you in trouble! I can’t risk either of you getting arrested.”
Adagio blew a dismissive gust of air. “Pffft, our existences used to be based on causing trouble and stealing energy, and we both have plenty of experience doing whatever we wanted and getting away with it!”
“But neither of you have your hypnotism powers anymore! Name one time when either of you managed to just talk your way out of a bad situation.”
“Easy!” Adagio said. “Why there was the time I… uh…erm… Help me out here, Aria…”
Aria smirked. “Can’t fight your own battles, Dagi?”
“Shut up! Just… just bring up a time someone hassled you for kicking a dog or child or whatever and you managed to smooth things over without using your gem.”
“Fine!” Aria huffed out. She squinted her eyes and stared up at the ceiling.
“… WELL?!” Adagio cried impatiently.
“I’m thinking, alright?!”
“Hah!” Adagio said. “I knew it! You’ve always used your gem to get out of trouble!”
Aria narrowed her eyes at Adagio. “Like you’re any better!”
“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!” Sunset cried as she massaged her temples. “I swear I’d kill you both and make it look like an accident if I wasn’t reformed…”
Fluttershy let out a small “Meep…”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t actually done that back when you were all power-hungry and the like, right?”
Sunset turned and shot Applejack an irritated glance. “Do you know of any students or faculty that have met untimely ends since you’ve been at school?”
“Well… no…” Applejack replied.
“Then there’s your answer!” Sunset replied.
“Hey!” Adagio cried. “Can you at least get the purple-haired girl to stop staring at my hair?!”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Rarity, stop staring at Adagio’s hair. You’re creeping everyone out…”
“Geez, no kidding…” Rainbow Dash agreed.
Fluttershy nodded. “I didn’t want to say anything, but it’s definitely scaring me a bit …”
Applejack folded her arms across her chest. “She’s been staring harder than a goat at alfalfa, that’s fer’sher.”
“How do you keep coming up with those?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she turned towards Applejack. “Do you have like… a ‘farm phrase a day’ calendar?!”
Rarity blinked a few times and looked around the room as if finally coming out a daze. Her cheeks turned crimson as she looked at everyone. “I’m sorry everyone, but she just has so much hair! I’m not made out of stone!” She looked at Adagio with a slight crazed look. “Oh darling, you must let me style it!”
“Do not touch my hair!” Adagio snapped. “Aria is the only one allowed to touch my hair… except now when we’re in this stupid shirt!”
“Give me a break, Adagio!” Aria said in a huff. “Your hair is taking up most of the shirt! I can’t believe how itchy I am!”
“All of you, shut up!” Sunset commanded. “I’m never going to finish this stupid apology essay to Princess Twilight if you don’t all give me some quiet to get my thoughts down!”
Adagio, Aria and Rarity all put on sullen expressions, but went quiet.
“There!” Sunset said as she collapsed back into her chair and swiveled it back to face her desk. “Now if everyone would just be silent for a bit, maybe I can get you psychos home so you’re Twilight’s problem.”
“Hey, I know!” Fluttershy said. “I bet no one can beat me at the quiet game.”
Adagio glared at Fluttershy.
“Oh, just please die…” Aria uttered.
Fluttershy puffed out her lower lip but remained silent.
Sunset sighed heavily as she raised a hand to her forehead. “I hope Pinkie and Sonata are keeping out of trouble…”
“They’re prob’ly not,” Applejack said, “though Pinkie can actually talk herself out of most messes…”
-ooo-
“But she’d never been in a whipped cream fight before!” Pinkie uttered in a voice that was equal parts explanatory and apologetic.
Mrs. Cake sighed heavily as she gave Pinkie the same look a mother might give a child they were disappointed with.
Pinkie was covered head to toe in whipped cream. Sonata stood behind her, looking only slightly cleaner as she scooped up and licked off any whipped cream on her personage she could reach. Behind them, Mr. Cake walked by pushing a mop over the floor of Sugar Cube Corner, a concerned expression on his face.
“Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake began in a maternal tone, “I know the thought of an impromptu whipped cream fight is tempting, but couldn’t you have done this at your home and not at the shop?”
“Sorry, Mrs. Cake…” Pinkie said as she stared at her feet. “I guess we just got a little excited…”
“Well, we’re used to that,” Mrs. Cake said. She eyed Sonata. “But you usually hang out with someone more… level-headed.”
Sonata frowned heavily as she looked up at Mrs. Cake. “But Aria and Adagio say my head might as well be flat!”
Pinkie turned back and gave Sonata a sheepish grin. “I think they might be talking about something else.”
Mr. Cake let out a heavy sigh as he continued to mop the floor. “Didja have to have a whipped cream fight during business hours as well?”
“Sorry Mr. Cake!” Pinkie called out.
Sonata perked up, looking back and forth between the two Cakes.
Mrs. Cake glanced over her shoulder. “Sweetie, I think it would be better if she didn’t have whipped cream fights here at all.”
“Just trying to come up with a compromise, honeybun,” Mr. Cake replied.
Sonata gasped. “Wait… Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Are you two married? Or brother and sister? Or brother and sister and married?”
Pinkie suddenly went as stiff as a board, she grit her teeth together into a rather nervous smile she directed at Mrs. Cake.
Mrs. Cake eyelids fell slightly as her motherly look suddenly gave way to irritation. “We’re married, and we’re not related.” Mrs. Cake answered, finishing her sentence in a venomous tone.
Mr. Cake simply laughed as he continued cleaning up. “Related? I think that’s the first time anyone’s asked that. We don’t look anything like each other!”
Pinkie relaxed slightly and breathed a sigh of relief.
Sonata giggled. “Oh, for realzies!” She agreed with a nod. “So is it kind of weird with one of you really thin and the other one really fa—”
Pinkie dove at Sonata with all the urgency of trying to stop a child from putting a key into an electrical outlet and quickly placed her hand over Sonata’s mouth.
Mrs. Cake’s face turned red as she glared at Sonata.
“Maybe we should just go for now…” Pinkie said in a worried tone as she looked back at Mrs. Cake.
Mrs. Cake nodded. “I think that would be best.”
Pinkie slowly lowered her hand off of Sonata’s mouth.
Sonata licked her face, eating the whipped cream Pinkie had accidently left their when she placed her hand against her face. “Hey Pinkie, are you going to eat all that whipped cream on you, or…”
Pinkie jumped slightly as she gave Mrs. Cake a worried look. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”
Mrs. Cake sighed heavily as she pointed towards the restrooms of Sugarcube Corner.
Soon both girls were whipped cream free and walking down the street away from Sugarcube Corner, passing other students as on the sidewalk. The other students would begin to smile or wave when they saw Pinkie, but their smile soon disappeared and they quickly retracted their hands and avoided eye contact at the sight of Sonata.
“They seemed nice!” Sonata exclaimed.
Pinkie smiled. “Oh the Cakes are just the best! Sometimes I even work there and help them make all their yummy treats! Plus I babysit for them!”
Sonata gasped. “Babies?! I love babies!”
“Er… You do?” Pinkie asked in a slightly worried tone.
Sonata nodded. “We like to watch the same shows!”
Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief. “For a second there, I thought you might say something horri—”
“Plus they can’t really fight back if you change the channel! And they’re easier to steal candy from than grown up people!”
Pinkie sighed and hung her head. “And there it is…” Pinkie shook her head. “All this talk about babies reminds me we still need to work on our history report.”
Sonata paused for a moment. Her eyes on focused and her arms hung loosely at her sides as she stared of into space. She suddenly smiled and raised her index finger up in an ‘ah-ha’ fashion. “Oh! Because babies remind you that everyone was a baby in their past right?”
Pinkie nodded. “Exactly!” she said as she pulled a pink spiral notebook out of her hair.
“So, what do we have so far?” Sonata asked as she looked over Pinkie’s shoulder.
Pinkie raised the notebook in front of her face and began to read. “‘Once upon a time, three sirens sucked all the energy they wanted from the ponies of Equestria. Experts generally agree this was an awesome time until the jerk Starswirl the Bearded came along and sent the sirens away to this planet which the experts also agree pretty much is the worse except for the food which is pretty good, I guess. Experts also agree that Starswirl the Bearded’s beard was dumb. and that his face was dumb, and that he was also dumb.’”
“I like it!” Sonata exclaimed. “It sounds credible.”
Pinkie sighed as she closed the notebook. “But It’s way too short! Don’t you remember anything else about Equestria?”
Sonata shrugged. “I know the three races, unicorns, pegasi, and boring horses.”
Pinkie lowered the notebook and frowned. “Still not enough…” She furrowed her brow and stared upwards. “Also, for some reason I feel I should be offended.”
“Well, every time I try to remember more my head starts to hurt and then I get hungry… Hey! Do you have any more whipped cream?”
Pinkie reached into her mop of curls and pulled out a can of whipped cream, handing it to Sonata. The two continued walking as Sonata emptied the contents of the can directly into her mouth.
“Hey!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Maybe we can talk to Sunset Shimmer! She was from Equestria and is actually super smart! I bet she knows stuff!”
“Or maybe we can even go to Equestria!” Sonata suggested.
Pinkie inhaled an incredible volume of air. “That would be awesomazing!” She frowned slightly. “But how would we do that? I mean… I guess maybe we can ask Sunset to write Princess Twilight about the report we’re working on, and maybe Princess Twilight would be nice enough to open the portal…”
“Actually, Sunset and the other girls are trying to figure out how to get Adagio, Aria, and I through the portal right now!”
“They are?” Pinkie asked. She stopped walking and stared at Sonata, blinking several times.” Wait, how do you know this?”
Sonata reached into her jacket and pulled out her phone. “Oh, Adagio and Aria have been sending me text messages all day tell me what’s going on and asking me to help.” She held her phone up for Pinkie to read.
Pinkie’s eyes went wide as she looked at the phone. “Wow… they sound mad… like as mad as an ‘R’ rated movie, even!”
Sonata turned the phone and looked at the messages. She shrugged. “That’s pretty much how they always send text messages.” She swiped her finger across the screen a few times. “They’ve been ‘X’ rated mad a few times today.” She turned the screen back to face Pinkie. “Like right here!”
Pinkie cringed. “An entire baseball bat?! Wrapped in barbed wire?! I mean… There’s no way that would fit!” Pinkie’s eyes went wide as she brought her legs together and lowered her hands. “Not to mention that it would probably hurt worse than anything!”
Sonata giggled. “Yep! We play the best games!” She looked back down at her phone and began pressing keys on it. “I’m going to reply with all the places the girls can stick a rusty cactus.”
Pinkie swallowed. “Uh… Hey!” Pinkie said, suddenly forcing a cheerful tone. “Maybe we should just check up on Sunset Shimmer and the others and see if they can open up the portal so we can do our report! That sounds much better than being violated with large, spiked things that might have barbs even.”
“Good idea!” Sonata exclaimed. “That way I can tell the girls in person what to do with the cactus!”
-ooooo-
Sunset Shimmer, Aria, and Adagio all stood in front of the massive horse statue in the courtyard of Canterlot High. The other girls stood around them, hovering just a few yards away as they wearily kept an eye on the two former sirens. Long shadows were cast from the girls as the sun gently lowered in the sky, slowly drifting closer to the hills which stood behind the tall buildings of the city in the distance.
Sunset Shimmer closed the large hardbound book that bore her cutie mark and looked up at the two sirens. “Alright, Princess Twilight has agreed that I can go through the portal and present my proposal for you all to return to Equestria.”
“Proposal?!” Adagio cried. “Why won’t she just let us return?! We don’t have our jewels anymore! We belong there!”
“Yeah,” Aria agreed with a nod. “This place sucks bad!” Aria raised her hands in her face and scornfully sneered at them. “Maybe you’re okay with being one of these weird, disgusting, hairless monkey things but we hate it!”
“Excuse me?” Rarity cried.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Being human is awesome! It’s not like other animals have organized sports!”
Applejack nodded in agreement. “Or rodeos, even! Ah mean… I’d much rather ride the bull then be the bull…”
“Uh… Actually, I’d rather be ridden…” Fluttershy chimed in.
Rainbow Dash snorted before erupting into laughter.
Adagio grinned wickedly and stepped up to Fluttershy. “You know for the right price, I can arrange that.”
“Eep…” Fluttershy uttered as her face turned red. “Erm… I meant as a bull…”
“Role-playing, huh?” Adagio said. “Well, that’ll cost you a bit more, but—”
“Would you knock it off?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Look,I don’t like the fact you’re stuck here longer either. But I guess Twilight wants more than an apology and me explaining you’re making my life a living hell!”
Adagio turned and narrowed her eyes at Sunset, allowing Fluttershy to quietly put some distance between herself and Adagio.
“Our lives are a living hell!” Adagio exclaimed.
Aria nodded in agreement.
“And I’m trying to put an end to that!” Sunset said. “Or at least make it so you’re someone else’s problem!”
“Speakin’ of problems,” Applejack said, “we still need to track down that other siren.”
Aria shrugged. “I suggest a line of tacos leading up to the portal…”
Adagio chimed in. “Or even up to a box with a stick.”
Aria nodded. “It wouldn’t even have to be a heavy box… Sonata might think it’s night and fall asleep.”
Adagio shrugged. “Heck, if you lure her with one taco and just put a paper bag over her head, she might pass right out.”
Sunset sighed and raised a hand up to her forehead. “This would be funny if I actually thought for a second either of you were joking.” Sunset’s book began to vibrate and glow red. She opened it. “Portals open.”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head as she peered at one of the mirrors on the large statue. “It doesn’t look different…”
“It never does!” Sunset exclaimed. “Doesn’t mean that… WAIT!What are you doing?!”
Rainbow Dash chucked a rock at the mirror, it passed right through, leaving ripples in the mirror the drifted out from the point of entry.
Sunset scowled at Rainbow Dash. “Dash… why did you do that?”
“I was just making sure the portal was open!” Rainbow Dash cried. “You’re welcome by the way.”
Sunset furrowed her brow. “Did you think that if it wasn’t you would have just broken the mirror and the portal?”
“Uh… Oops…?”
Sunset sighed and shook her head as her book began to blink red and vibrate. She opened it.
Rarity turned towards Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow Dash, darling, you really should think these things through!”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested. “No harm no foul.”
“Actually, you just beaned Twilight in the head,” Sunset informed as she looked up from her book, scowling at Rainbow Dash. “Which I would find amusing if it didn’t make my job that much harder!”
“… Oh… Double oops?”
Adagio and Aria began laughing as Aria bent down to pick up a rock. “Let me try…”
“Stop it!” Sunset ordered. “I don’t think throwing rocks across dimensions is going to help your case.”
Aria grumbled to herself as she dropped the rock.
Fluttershy cleared her throat. “Maybe it would be better if one of us tested the portal… I volunteer myself.”
“What?” Sunset exclaimed. “Why…”
“Erm… Well… you see…”
Applejack smirked. “You wanna be a pony, don’t you?”
“Oh my, more than anything!” Fluttershy said as clutched her hands under her chin.
From across the schoolyard, Sonata and Pinkie began to approach the group of girls.
“Hey!” Sonata exclaimed. “Your rainbow-haired friend just threw a rock through the mirror! I didn’t know the school had magic mirrors!”
Pinkie gasped. “Princess Twilight must have opened the portal! Lucky day!”
Sonata grinned widely. “Let’s surprise them and rush through the portal!” she said.
Pinkie pursed her lips slightly. “I don’t know… Are you sure?” Pinkie raised a hand to her chin and stroked it as she gave the girls a thoughtful look. “I mean… they look like they’re talking about something important right now.”
“Fluttershy!” Sunset exclaimed loudly. “I can’t just let you go over there to fulfill some bizarre dream of becoming an animal!”
Sonata shook her head. “No! It’ll be like a surprise party for the ponies on the other side that way!”
“Oh yeah!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Everyone loves surprise parties without exception!”
Sonata nodded. “Before we go, can I see the notebook?”
Pinkie nodded with a smile and pulled the pink spiral notebook out of her hair, handing it to Sonata.
Sonata grinned wickedly as she grabbed the notebook, pulled a neon blue felt marker out of her jacket, and flipped the notebook to an empty page. She began writing.
Pinkie paused and curiously watched Sonata for a bit before her face lit up in excitement. “Ooo! Ooo! Are you writing a note telling them what we’re doing?”
Sonata shook her head. “More like instructions.”
Pinkie’s smile fell as she gave Sonata a slightly confused look. “Instructions? Why would they need—”
Sonata smiled as she ripped the page out of the notebook, closed it, and handed it to Pinkie. “Alright let’s go!” she said as she broke into a sprint.
“Sonata! Wait!” Pinkie cried as she started running after her.
“Alright!” Sunset exclaimed. “So we’re agreed! I go first and I’ll let you know when it’s okay for any of you to foll—”
“Darling, did you hear something?” Rarity asked.
Sunset scowled at Rarity. “I heard you rudely interrupting me!”
“There’s no need to get snippy!” Rarity cried. “I just thought I heard—”
“WHEEE!” Sonata cried as she ran between Sunset and Rarity, dropping a piece of paper before the mirror portal swallowed her like a pool of shimmering water.
“Found Sonata,” Aria said casually.
Sunset stared at the portal in disbelief. “What the fu—”
“Hi everyone! Bye everyone!” Pinkie said as she sprinted by and dove into the portal.
“Found Pinkie,” Applejack said.
Sunset frowned heavily as she stared at the portal. “Well… that won’t end well…”
Fluttershy puffed out her lower lip and crossed her arms across her chest. “No fair…”
“Hey, that idiot left a note…” Adagio said as she walked over to the note and picked it up.
“Wait, she’s literate?!” Sunset exclaimed.
Adagio nodded. “She picked it up from years of watching children’s programing... mostly so she could figure out what menus say.”
“As much as I’m going to regret asking,” Aria said, “what’s the note say?”
Adagio sighed heavily. “She’s telling us to violate ourselves and each other with a rusty cactus.”
The other girls cringed. Fluttershy’s eyes rolled up into the back of her head as she collapsed to the grass.
Sunset looked down at Fluttershy, then looked up to glare at the two sirens. “Couldn’t you have cleaned that up before you told us?!”
“Believe me, that was the cleaned up version,” Adagio replied.
Aria flinched as she looked at the paper. “Yeah… Sonata didn’t pull her punches, that’s for sure.”
Sunset jumped slightly as the book in her hand began to glow red and vibrate. She scowled down at it.
Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow. “Are you going to get that, or…”
“No,” Sunset answered. “I’m sure Pinkie and Sonata rushing into the portal caused quite the mess over there. I don’t need to read an angry letter from Twilight explaining that.” Sunset looked up at the portal. “I’m going in.”
“Fine, but we’re coming with you.” Adagio declared.
Aria nodded in agreement
“Don’t be stupid,” Sunset said, “of course you’re coming with me!”
Adagio and Aria looked at Sunset in surprise.
“Wait, really?” Adagio asked. “Just like that?”
“There’s way too much risk to just leave you two alone, and we’ll need all the help we can get over there.”
Adagio and Aria looked at each other, wringing their hands as the exchanged devilish looks.
“Oh we’ll help, alright…” Adagio said in a sinister tone.
“Stop it with the evil looks, you two!” Sunset said. “If you want to stay in Equestria, you better be on your best behavior! Who knows how much damage Sonata and Pinkie are doing already?”
Adagio and Aria cringed.
“She’s right,” Aria said, “if we don’t get there soon, Sonata might cause a famine with everything she eats!”
Applejack frowned. “And she’s paired up with Pinkie of all people… We better get there soon our there might not be anythang to feed those poor ponies.”
“SWEET!” Rainbow Dash said pumping a fist into the air. “Interdimensional road trip!”
“Wait,” Rarity said, “but aren’t there pony versions of us over there? Won’t it get confusing if we all gooohoooohooooOOOOO?!”
To Rarity’s great surprise she found her shirt in the grip of Fluttershy, up from the ground as if she had never passed out in the first place. The usual reserved and shy girl held Rarity inches away from her face and glared daggers at her.
“Do not wreck this for me!” Fluttershy said angrily. “Some of us want to be ponies!”
Rarity looked at Fluttershy fearfully and swallowed. “Erm… A little help?”
“ME?!” Rarity cried, pointing to herself. “I was just trying to keep things simple.”
“Well stop,” Sunset said. “I need all the help I can get keeping an eye on these two lunatics and keeping a handle on the other two lunatics who just ran into the portal. You can all just wear nametags or world tags when you get over there. I mean… Who in their right mind would just leave help when lives are possibly at stake? I want all hands… or hoofs on deck to help wrangle these deranged psychos!”
“Yay!” Fluttershy said enthusiastically.
“Hey!” Aria protested.
“We’re standing right here!” Adagio said indignantly.
“I know,” Sunset said turning to the girls. She gave them a serious look. “Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t trust you, and over in Equestria I’m one of the world’s most powerful unicorns. If you two step out of line or become more trouble than you’re worth, we’re going to see how flammable sirens are.”
Adagio narrowed her eyes. “You’re bluffing…”
“I was Celestia’s personal student for years and my ambition as well as reading quite a few spell books that were off limits got me kicked out of the castle! Princess Twilight might want to reform you, but I just want you out of my hair.” Sunset narrowed her eyes. “And you two have been nothing but a pain to me all day. I swear if you two give me a reason, I’ll turn you into ashes.”
Adagio matched Sunset’s glare and stared at her for a moment. Her lips suddenly curled up into a smirk. “My, my… You really can just turn the good girl routine off when you want. Alright, fine… We’ll be on our best behavior.” Adagio turned to Aria. “Right Aria.”
Aria sighed. “Fine. Whatever. As long as we go home, I don’t care.”
Sunset nodded. “Good.” She turned towards the portal. “Everyone ready?”
“Darn tottin’!” Applejack cried.
“Ohmygosh! This is so exciting!” Fluttershy said.
“Yes! Let’s do this!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Do you think pony me will have a stylish pony clothes we can wear when we get over there?” Rarity asked.
“Rarity…” Sunset growled out.
Rarity raised her palms in front of her. “Just thinking out loud, Darling…”
“You can ask when we get there,” Sunset said. “Let’s go.”
Sunset Shimmer stepped through the portal followed by the other girls. One by one, each one disappeared with a glimmer.
Sunset Shimmer had never fully adjusted to the feeling of going through the portal… not that she really made a habit of traveling through it. Still, stepping through the portal felt like suddenly changing into water being sucked down the universe’s own bathtub drain. Caught in a whirlpool and bent and stretched before being sucked down to your destination. Furthermore, it sort of even sounded like being caught in a drain. The journey was loud as if energy was constantly ‘sloshing’ all around.
At least coming back to Equestria meant being ‘unstreteched’ or compacted back down to a form Sunset was more comfortable with. Having magic again certainly helped, but being a pony meant she was closer to the ground and sturdily standing on four legs. Though she had gotten used to being human, part of walking still felt more like ‘controlled falling’ and even standing was a strange balancing act. This was to say nothing about how gangly and awkward she felt all the time if she stopped to think about it.
The sound of pure magic rushing past Sunset’s ears stopped and she felt solid ground under her four hooves. She smiled as she enjoyed the feeling of being herself again and opened her eyes. Gee… Twilight sure has a thing for crystals… Crystal walls… Crystal table… Crystal chairs… Sunset felt her forehead tighten. The heck is it so messy in here?! I’d expect Twilight to be way more organized and… Wait… why are all those ponies lying on the ground and moaning? Oh… They kinda look like my friends… But… I came through the portal first, so maybe they—
‘POP!’
Pop…?
‘THUD! CRASH!’
“AAAAAAMMMmmmmph!”
Sunset had little time to ponder on strange, loud noises as she felt herself suddenly slammed into one of the crystal walls. Trying to gain her bearings proved fruitless as something held her to the wall as if pressing against her with a massive weight. Her own muffled cries were joined by a chorus of high pitched screams, cries, and other sounds of alarm.
Through the startled cries, the voice of Adagio boomed out.
“Aria! Get your flipper out of my face!”
Aria replied, also answering Sunset’s pressing question as to what was crushing her. “I will when you get your fatfish butt off my head!” Aria shot back.
“What did you say?!”
“You heard me! I can’t believe you never lost any weight in over a thousand years! Oh, wait… Yes I can. You’ve been living off a solid diet of sugar and ice cream for hundreds of years!”
Sunset shifted and pushed out with her magic, managing to crawl up above the purple mass of scales that made up Aria’s torso.
The giant Adagio sea monster gave the giant Aria sea monster an indignant look. “At last I—”
“Someone get this fat yellow fish butt offa me!” Sunset heard Rainbow Dash… a Rainbow Dash exclaim.
Aria grinned widely.
Adagio grimaced. “At least when I eat, the food goes to all the right places!”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Hey! You two need two—”
Adagio simply continued, her voice easily carrying over that of the smaller pony’s. “You turned into some horrible land whale back in the mid aughties!”
Aria narrowed her eyes. “Halo 2 had just came out and Doritos still had 3D chips and it doesn’t count!”
Sunset’s eyes narrowed as her horn began to glimmer, a turquoise glow that turned into an orange burn, then suddenly a bright blue blaze atop her head.
A Rarity’s shrill, panicky voice called out, “There’s a fin in my mane. There’s a fine in my mane!”
“ENOUGH!”
The glow from Sunset’s horn faded and she couldn’t help but cringe as she heard Twilight Sparkle’s commanding voice call out from amongst the chaos. A purple aura appeared around the sirens, lifting them into the air. No longer pressed against the wall by a mass of scales, Sunset dropped and hit the ground, accompanied by four more ponies who joined the rest on the ground. Sunset got to her hooves just as another purple aura briefly surrounded her. Looking up, Sunset could see Twilight standing on top of the massive crystal table, her eyes glowing brightly and her wings spread wide. With a magical pop the sirens suddenly shrank to a fraction of their size and fell to the ground.
“Oooofff!”
“OW!”
Aria, now the same size of the ponies, clambered to her hooves. Although, clearly pony like in form, she still sported several differences that made it clear she wasn’t your average pony. A pair of fins, or possibly gills, stuck out in front of her trademark twin ponytails. On her back where a pair of small wing-like fins. Behind the knees on her forelegs where a pair of small fins. A similar pair where on her back legs, however, her hindquarters seemed to be covered with scales. Her tail, likewise, was covered in scales, it resembling a sea horse's tail rather than a ponies.
Adagio…
“Aaaaaiiiieeee!” A Fluttershy’s high-pitched squeal sounded out. “Help! I’m being eaten by something that must have crawled out of a brothel’s liquor cabinet!”
“Get out of my hair!”
Adagio probably looked much the same as Aria, except she was a good fifty percent mane. A Mane which one of the Fluttershy’s was now tangled up with.
“SUNSET SHIMMER!” Twilight boomed out.
Sunset swallowed as the other ponies raised to their hooves and the glow from around Twilight’s horn began to fade. “Uh… Hey Twilight… It’s nice to see you again—“
With a glow and a bright flashTwilight suddenly teleported in front of Sunset. “What the hay were you thinking sending both sirens through the portal?! One was bad enough!”
“Hey! I wanted to catch that siren before she got loose and did ‘who knows what’ to Eqestria! How was I supposed to know they’d turn huge once they got here?”
Twilight added some more forehead wrinkles to her already stern look. “You were supposed to know because I explained what happened in the journal!”
Sunset Shimmer’s eyes drifted downward to the closed journal that bore her cutie mark. It still glowed red and vibrated, betraying her with the information that she clearly hadn’t so much as opened it before leaping through the portal. A rosy hue appeared on her cheeks and she gave Twilight a sheepish grin. “Uh… Whoops?”
“Whoops?!” Twilight cried. “You let a siren loose on Equestria and smashed up my home again by sending two more and ‘whoops’ is all you have to say for yourself?!”
“Er… well…” Sunset’s brain went into overdrive. Think of something to say fast, FAST! “…At least it wasn’t an army of teenagers mindcontrolled to lay siege to Equestria…” Too fast.
Twilight turned up the heat on her angry expression until it was set at ‘blazing glare’.
Sunset could only laugh nervously as her eyes darted across the room. Quick! This isn’t your fault remember the one really to blame here is…
A pink pony with unmistakable pink curly hair woozily stood up. “Did anypony get the number of that cart… and then the next two carts that came after it?”
… Pinkie Pie!
Sunset darted past Twilight and galloped up to the dazed and confused looking pink pony. She thrust her face mere inches away from Pinkie’s. Sunset's accusing turquoise eyes pierced deeply into the glassy sky-blue eyes of her target and Sunset let Pinkie have it with both barrels. “WHAT THE BUCK WERE YOU EVEN THINKING!?” she shouted.
Pinkie replied by pulling her head back into her body, almost like a turtle trying to pull its head into its shell.
Sunset continued, “No! Don’t answer that!” Sunset said as she backed off just enough to wave a forehoof between herself and Pinkie. “You weren’t thinking! You never think! Everything is just a big, silly game to you, isn’t it?!”
Pinkie’s eyes began to fill up with tears.
“Uh… Sunset…?” Twilight said.
“Yell at me later, Twilight!” Sunset snapped. “I need to yell at my Pinkie Pie!”
Twilight raised a forehoof, “But that’s my Pink—”
“Oh, don’t even start,‘princess’!” Sunset said, practically choking on the word ‘princess’. “You left Canterlot High leaving these whack-jobs to teach me about friendship! Well guess who also had to put up with their complete insanity?!”
“Er… Okay, but that’s not—”
Sunset turned away from Twilight and turned back to Pinkie who was still on the verge of tears. “Now where was I?”
Pinkie’s lower lip began to quiver. “You just said that I ‘never think’ and that ‘everything is just a big, silly game’ to me.”
“Oh, yeah!” Sunset replied. She looked upwards, putting a fake smile on as she nodded her head back and forth. “I’ll just run through this big magic portal between dimensions with my new friend that was only trying to take over the whole planet a little bit ago! It should be FUN! Like a field trip to Brisby Land with a bloodthirsty monster where the park looks like a giant buffet table to it! I’m sure my new friend won’t get loose and go on a murderous rampage! We’ve spent literally hours getting to know each other!” Sunset’s features tightened into a rage filled stare. “Well you know what? If that thing does go on a murderous rampage, IT’S GOING TO BE ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Pinkie sniffled once… twice… and then water shot from her eyes as she erupted into hysterical cries that filled the room. “WOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAA!”
Aria shook her head as an Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity with her horn glowing azure managed to separate the Fluttershy stuck in Adagio’s mane.
“Dang Dagi,” Aria said, “I think you have to give up your ‘Queen of the Tirade’ crown.”
“Shut up and help me up!” Adagio cried as she rocked back and forth in the mass of her mane like a turtle stuck on its back… if a turtle had a shell made entirely out of fiery orange hair.
“You done?!” Twilight asked, her face beet red with anger.
Sunset took a few calming breaths. “Huff… puff… Yeah… I needed that. It’s been a heck of a day, and—”
“Great!” Twilight said curtly “Well now you can apologize to my friend, Pinkie Pie, who has lived in Equestria all her life and has neveronce been to Canterlot High!”
Sunset felt all the blood rush away from her face as if it were trying to put some distance between Twilight. “Wha… what?” Sunset looked around the room, she noticed pony pair look-alikes of all her friends save one, the wailing pink pony in front of her. Just her luck, both pairs were glaring at her, though one of the Fluttershy’s was doing it from behind a chair, seemingly wanting to express anger and hide from the new arrivals at the same time.
Pinkie continued to wail sad, hysterical sobs as her eyes continued to do their best fountain impression.
Sunset swallowed, “Uh… Hey everypony! My… um… our… good friend from Canterlot High Pinkie Pie, seems to be missing!”Sunset said forcing a smile onto her worried face. She turned back to Twilight. “So er… We should probably start looking for—”
“DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT!” Twilight roared.
Sunset lowered her head as her ears flopped down around it. She turned to Pinkie who was still a mess of waterworks and sobbing. “Uh, look…”
“… WOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… See, I thought you were someone…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“Er… somepony else! Pinkie Pie, that is…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“Notthatyou’renotreallyPinkiePie! I just meant…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… I thought you were the other Pinkie Pie. Um…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… Anyways, I shouldn’t have just flew off the handle …”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… at you like that. And I’m sorry about what I said…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“…I should have stopped to think before I …”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… got on your case. I’m sure you put lots of thought into…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT’S TRUE!”Pinkie explained. “I don’t think about my actions! I do think everything is a big, silly game! IT MIGHT AS WELL BE MY FAULT BECAUSE I’M JUST A STUPID, DUMB PONY WHO WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT THING THAT JUST HAPPENED IF GIVEN HALF THE CHANCE! WOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAA!”
Sunset frowned heavily and turned to Twilight, hoping for some sign that her attempt meant she was off the hook. Searching the enraged expression of Twilight for mercy quickly proved fruitless and she turned back towards the crying pink pony.
“… WOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… Look, I’m not super great at these sort of things…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… And I’m not sure what to say that would make…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… you feel better about all this, so… erm…”
“… HOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA…!”
“… Can we just… hug it out?”
“… HOUAAAAA—” Pinkie stopped crying as if someone had just switched off a water main and her eyes and pounced on Sunset, wrapping her arms around the surprised unicorn and squeezing with all her strength.
‘CRACK!’
“You’re forgiven!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she the pressure from her limbs only increased.
“Owch…” Sunset choked out as she felt her internal organs get intimate with her spine. “Forgiveness hurts!”
Pinkie Pie released her vice like grip on Sunset, allowing her to slide belly down to the ground with her legs sprawled out.
Twilight looked down at Sunset, her expression softened somewhat, but still stern. “Now, don’t you think you owe a few more apologies?”
Sunset once again stood up on her hooves and let out a heavy sigh, she turned away from Twilight. “I’m sorry I ran through the portal with the sirens who are apparently giant fish monsters here in Equestria.”
“Not me!” Twilight cried. “I think…” She trailed off as she turned and stared into her room, the pony pairs has begun to talk to one another, making it difficult, if not impossible to tell who was who.
“Aren’t apples jus’ the best thing ever?”
“Ah know, right?!”
One of the Rarity’s fussed over the mane of the other Rarity. “Oh darling, those beastly things did a number on your hair! We simply must get you back to my boutique and fix you up!”
“Or maybe we can head back to my boutique!”
“… Are there dresses?”
“There are so many dresses!”
Both Rarity’s let out a sound of girlish delight.
One of the Rainbow Dashes let out a gasp. “We should go flying to see how cool we look!”
“Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! We should totally do that!”
“Oh my,” A Fluttershy said as it stood on the table and raised its wings which clumps of fiery orange hair still clung to. She looked down at her other self who was cowering on the ground below “We have wings here, too! Can I fly? I mean… can we fly? Oh, it must be just wonderful being a flying pony!”
The other Fluttershy muttered an incoherent reply.
“Scary?!” The Fluttershy on the table replied. “Actually, this is the best day of my life!”
Twilight scrunched her lips slightly. Well, at least one of them is sort of easy to tell apart from the others, but—
“Does it hurt when I do this?”
‘Slap!’
Twilight turned to see Pinkie slap herself then quickly zip over she so she was now staring at the spot she had just been.
“Ouch! Yes. Does it hurt when I do this?” Pinkie picked up one of her back legs up to her muzzle and bit hard. She zipped back to where she was standing
“Owie! Yes! Does it hurt when I do this?” Pinkie clocked herself in the face with a forehoof.
‘POW!’
“OW! Yes! Does it hurt when I—”
“Pinkie!” Twilight called out. “What the heck are you even doing?!”
Pinkie frowned heavily. “I just felt left out.”
“Well,” Sunset began, “you can help us track down… the other you.”
Aria chimed in, “I’d start with the nearest place that sells tacos.”
Sunset frowned. “This is Equestria! We don’t have tacos.”
“Oh,” Aria replied. “I guess we’re not going with the line of tacos to a big-ass box, then”
Adagio sighed, “Those two idiots can be anywhere by now!”
Pinkie smiled widely. “Well actually—” Pinkie inhaled an enormous amount of air as she stared at Adagio. “Oh. My. Gosh! Your mane is glorious.”
Adagio grinned and lifted up some of her massive orange curls with a forehoof. “Well, I don’t like to brag—”
Aria narrowed her eyes. “Yes you do.”
“Well, I love to brag, and—”
“I’m gonna swim in it!” Pinkie declared.
“Wait, what?” Adagio said.
Pinkie took a running leap, jumping into, and then disappearing into Adagio’s mass of orange hair.
Adagio and Aria’s eyes went wide.
“Wha…” Aria uttered. “How…?”
“Wow, roomy!” Pinkie uttered from inside Adagio’s tangles.
“Get out of my hair!” Adagio commanded as she looked up.
“Oh, but you’re not even taking full advantage of the space in here and—” Pinkie gasped again coming up with a wrapped taco in either hoof. “Prizes!”
Adagio grit her teeth. “Remind me to murder Sonata when we finally find her.”
Aria gave the tacos a confused look. “Yeah… get in line… I’m just wondering where the heck those came from considering you didn’t have hair again until just a few—”
In a flash, Pinkie somehow unwrapped both tacos despite having one in each hoof and thrust them into her mouth, causing her cheeks to puff out like a squirrel’s.
Twilight sighed as she raised a forehoof to her face. “Nevermind.”
“Hmmmm… Gwood!” Pinkie said as she chewed the mass of tacos in her mouth. She wrinkled her brow slightly as she chewed slowly. “Hrmmm… tastes like chips, sour cream, lettuce, tomato, onions…” Pinkie trailed off as she took a few more bites.
“Seriously, get out of my hair,” Adagio said in an annoyed tone.
“… And something else I can’t identify,” Pinkie said. She swallowed. “Something gooey and good!”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “That’s probably the delicious hamburger meat.”
“Sunset!” Twilight snapped.
“Hey!” Adagio cried.
“Meet?” Pinkie said in a confused tone. “Who did hamburger meet?”
Sunset put on a fake smile. “Hamburger met the meat grinder after a dead cow was shoved in it. Then it was put in those things you just swallowed”
Pinkie’s eyes went wide and she froze in place.
“Sunset!” Twilight protested again. She took a quick glance to make sure the Fluttershy from Equestria didn’t hear any of that. Luckily, said Fluttershy was still getting a barrage of questions from her much more excited version from Canterlot High.
Pinkie continued to smile, but there was worry written all over her face. “I need to go and throw up a whole lot! Be right back!” Pinkie said cheerfully before she leapt out of Adagio’s mane. No sooner did she hit the ground then she began sprinting remarkably fast on three legs, a forehoof held up to her mouth as her cheeks puffed out.
Aria shook her head. “Man Dagi, Sunset’s kicking your tail at torturing these ponies and I think she might actually like some of ‘em.”
“Shut. Up.” Adagio said through gritted teeth.
Twilight once again fixed Sunset with a glare. “Nice Sunset, really nice. For your next trick do you just want to incinerate Pinkie with magic?”
“Hey!” Sunset said in a protesting tone. “Pinkie ate the tacos,” Sunset motioned to the two sirens, “and it’s not like they weren’t going to tell her she just ate dead animal.”
Adagio and Aria nodded in agreement.
“Yeah!” Adagio cried. “I got upset because I wanted to tell her that!”
Aria grinned slightly. “No way I would pass up to see the look on that ponies face when it realized it just ate another animal.” Her grin widened slightly. “But I gotta admit, Sunset, you took her down hard.”
Sunset cringed slightly. Crud… I’m really making it a bad day for this Pinkie… I better—
“Whoa… What’s got Pinkie so riled up?”
Sunset, Twilight, Adagio, and Aria all turned as Spike strolled into the room.
“… What the heck is that thing?!” Adagio exclaimed.
“Wow, rude,” Spike replied indignantly. “I’ll have you know I’m a fire breathing dragon!”
Aria sighed heavily, “Oh man…”
“What’s your problem?” Adagio exclaimed.
Aria shook her head. “If Sonata were here she’d totally try to capture that thing… you know… like a Pokémon…”
Adagio pursed her lips slightly. “… Yeah there’s no denying that. We’re certainly missing an additional layer of surreality to this convoluted mess.”
“Spike?!” Sunset exclaimed. “You’re a baby dragon in this world?! How’d you get stuck as a dog back over in Canterlot High?!”
“I know, right!” Spike exclaimed. “Seems like anything that can even barely string a sentence together at least gets—”
“Spike,” Twilight interrupted, “we’re in the middle of something. So unless it’s really important, then I suggest you give us a bit to sort this all out…”
“Well, it just so happens that—” Spike’s eyes went over wide as he caught a glimpse of two somethings white. “Another Rarity?!” He exclaimed. Spike turned to Twilight, a massive smile on his face. “You did grant me my birthday wish! And it’s not even my birthday!”
Twilight smashed a forehoof against her face. “No Spike, that’s the Rarity from here and the one from Canterlot High.”
“Oh…” Spike said, his smile slipping slightly. It quickly rebounded into a perfectly content grin. “Well, my prayers have still been answered!” He pushed out a thumb claw and pointed to the two Raritys. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go mingle!” Spike walked over to the two Raritys who both greeted him with delighted coos shortly before swapping stories about their experiences with Spike that quickly divulged into jealous bickering.
Spike put on a look as if he had died and gone to heaven.
Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. She turned to Sunset. “Why did you think it was a good idea to bring everyone through the portal? I can’t even tell which is which! What was your plan here?! Make them wear nametags?” Twilight said sarcastically.
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Look, we didn’t have time to work out the minutiae of the plan! I thought we could use all the help we can get!” Sunset motioned to Adagio and Aria. “I mean those two are clearly deranged psychopaths.”
“Thanks,” Adagio said as she adjusted her hair pile, balancing it on the top of her head, “I’d say ‘we try’, but it comes pretty naturally to us at this point.”
Aria nodded. “It really does.”
Sunset continued. “Plus with Pinkie and another one of them running around, I figured we’d need as many ponies as possible to keep all the crazies in line.”
Twilight thought for a moment then smiled. “In line! That’s it!” she said excitedly. “HEY EVERYPONY!” Twilight shouted.
The room went quiet as the pony pairs and Spike all turned to face Twilight.
Twilight motioned to one side of the crystal table than the other. “Canterlot High ponies form a line on this side! Equestria ponies form a line on that side!”
The ponies obediently walked over to their designated lines, the Canterlot High group doing so far more awkwardly than the Equestrian group.
“Aw, man…” Spike uttered as the bread from the ‘arguing Rarity sandwich’ he found himself in the middle of parted ways to their respective sides of the table.
“Oh yoo-hoo, Spike!” Canterlot High’s Rarity called out. “Why don’t you come over here next to me?” She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes. “Remember all the chin scratches I gave you?”
The other Rarity thrust her muzzle into the air. “Hmmph! If anything he should stand next to me! I’ve given him more cheek kisses!”
Spike gulped as he worriedly looked back and forth between the two Raritys.
“Spike, come over here!” Twilight demanded.
“Sorry girls,” Spike said. “Looks like Twilight’s number one assistant has been called for duty.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I just don’t need you adding to the weirdness that’s already going on!”
Both Rarity’s let out disappointed “Aww”s as Spike sprinted up next to Twilight.
“Works for me,” Spike said quietly. “Just so long as I don’t have to deal with a jilted Rarity from either world…”
Twilight turned back to Sunset. “And you! Don’t you still owe some ponies some apologies?”
“Uh…” Sunset looked out over the two lines of ponies. “Well… Pinkie is still in the bathroom supposedly, so other than her… No?”
Twilight’s forehead tightened. “You called our friends from Canterlot High ‘whack-jobs’!”
Sunset blinked a few times as if the act cleared her face like shaking an etch-a-sketch. She turned and looked at her ponified friends who stared back with a mirror look of emptiness.
“But...” Sunset began, “that’s what they are!”
“What?!” Twilight cried. “Sunset! How dare you! I thought you had at least begun to learn the meaning of—”
“Ahem,” The Rarity standing neatly in a line with the other Canterlot High ‘ponies’ said. “I once forced Sunset to model clothing I was working on for an entire day.”
Sunset shot Rarity an irritated glance.
Rarity’s cheeks flushed slightly. “Alright, more than once.”
The other Rarity tittered. “I do that to Twilight and my other friends all the time!”
Canterlot High’s Applejack raised a forehoof. “Ah invited Sunset over to my farm and joked mah horse might be a relative of hers.”
Sunset inhaled as she shot a smoldering glower at Applejack. “Aaaaaand…?”
Applejack lowered her head and awkwardly raised a forehoof to lower the brim of her hat over her eyes. “Ah got my whole family in on the act…”
“Oh, me next!” Canterlot High’s Rainbow Dash said enthusiastically as she raised a forehoof.
Sunset sighed and smacked a forehoof against her face. “Go ahead, Rainbow…”
Sunset’s eyes widened as she felt her face suddenly turn very cold. “That… that’s you?! I thought Snips and Snails were still getting into my apartment!”
Sunset caught a yellow blur out of the corner of her eye before something slammed into her.
“Ooooff!” Sunset exclaimed. She looked up to see that she was pinned down by a Fluttershy, likely Canterlot High’sFluttershy given a few tangled tufts of Adagio hair still clung to the ponies wings and legs.
“Oh, thank you Sunset Shimmer! Thank you!” Fluttershy said enthusiastically. “This is…” Fluttershy raised her hooves and stared at them for a moment before she went back to giving Sunset Shimmer a starry-eyed stare. “This is the best thing to ever happen to me!”
“I’m glad someone is happy,” Sunset said.
Spike held up a claw. “You mean, somepony.”
Sunset sighed. “You’re killing what little joy there was left to enjoy coming back.”
“Can we please focus!?” Twilight cried. “Every second we waste is time that other siren could be out causing a trouble! We need to find her and Pinkie!”
“I know where I am!”
Fluttershy got off Sunset, allowing her to stand back to her hooves as everypony turned to face a Pinkie Pie.
“Not you!” Twilight exclaimed. “The other you!”
“That’s what I meant, silly!” Pinkie said. “I mean… I know exactly what I’d do if I showed up from another world to this one if I was paired up with a giant flying sea monster!”
Sunset’s eyes shot open wide and she turned to Adagio. “Wait… You can fly?!”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “We’re massive sea monsters! Of course we can fly! How else would we travel?”
“I don’t know… maybe swim?!” Sunset cried.
“What? Through solid ground!?” Adagio cried. “It’s not like you ponies just install canals everywhere! What were we supposed to do? Crawl?” Adagio looked down at her hooves and wrinkled her brow slightly. “You know this would be easier to illustrate when we only had two legs…” She frowned heavily. “Guess we’re walking now…”
“Looks like we can still fly to me…”
The group turned to Aria hovering in the air, her back fins beating fast and creating a light buzzing sound.
Aria frowned. “But having wings is a pain. I’m starting to get tired.”
Equestria’s Rainbow Dash let out a short, derisive. “Ha!” She smiled smugly. “I bet you are with tiny wings like that!”
“Oh whatever,” Aria said. “At least my wings aren’t made out of stupid feathers.”
“What?!” Rainbow cried. “My wings are awesome!”
“Pffft, feathers are lame,” Aria said dismissively.
“No, you’re lame!” Rainbow shot back.
“Quiet down!” Twilight cried. “We need to—”
‘Bzzzz… bzzzz…’
Adagio’s mane flew out around her in all directions as she attempted to fly herself. “Gha!” she cried in frustration as a mass of hair fell in front of her face. “What the hell?! It’s not working for me!”
Aria lowered herself back to the ground. “Maybe you should consider a haircut?”
“Never!” the angry orange mop shot back.
“Ugh…” Twilight uttered. “Pinkie, where would you be… if you were the other you…”
Pinkie leaned back as she sat down on crisscrossed hind legs. She raised one forehoof up to her chin and supported it with her other foreleg. She tapped her chin a couple times as she stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Well… If I showed up with a giant sea monster and left in a hurry like that, I must need something quick… Like…” Pinkie’s face lit up. “Like I had to do some sort of report for school and needed information!”
Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “That’s not… terribly unlikely, but it is amazingly specific. How do you know that’s what’s going on?”
Equestria’s Applejack chuckled. “Trust me, the answer’s probably ‘jus’ a hunch.’”
“Exactly!” Pinkie said. “Anyhow, I’d probably say ‘I’m sorry’ if I saw Twilight, but my giant sea monster friend would leave with me before we had a chance to clean up! Then we’d…”
*>-ooo-<*
“Hey!” a massive blue Sonata sea monster shouted from high above the Ponyville street as she descended, Pinkie Pie gripping tightly to the top of her head. “Do you two know where we can get a bite to eat?!”
A pink filly with a tiara on its head and a silver filly with glasses screamed and bolted down the street away fromSonata who gave pursuit.
“Sonata!” Pinkie cried. “We need to find someone who can tell us about Equestria’s past! We really should just ask Twilight!”
Sonata frowned and glanced upwards at Pinkie. “But she didn’t seem happy to see us! She seemed pretty mad!”
“Aaaaaieeeee!” Diamond Tiara screamed as she ran along. “I’ll pay you to stop chasing me!”
“What about me?!” Silver Spoon cried, keeping pace with her friend.
“You’re my sacrifice in case it says ‘no’!”
Silver Spoon narrowed her eyes. “I can run faster than you!” she said picking up her pace and pulling ahead of Diamond Tiara.
Diamond Tiara put on a panicked look. “Wait! Slow down! I’ll pay you to go slower!”
“My family is rich, too!” Silver Spoon shoot back.
Diamond Tiara puffed out her lower lip as she desperately tried to catch up.
Oblivious to the action in front of them, Pinkie Pie and Sonata continued to discuss the situation. “Well… we did sort of mess up her big fancy dining room when we showed up… Maybe we she could give her a chance to cool down and ask some other people… er… ponies for information first…”
“Hey!” Sonata said. “We can ask the two ponies we’re chasing now!”
“Oh, good idea!” Pinkie said.
Sonata and Pinkie looked forward. To their surprise, nopony was in front of them.
“Hey? Where’d they go?” Sonata asked.
A few houses behind Pinkie and Sonata in an alleyway, Silver Spoon poked her head out from a dumpster, a rotten banana peel fell off her head as she adjusted her crooked glasses and looked out with a sour look on her face.
Diamond Tiara popped up beside her in the dumpster, half her face covered in coffee grounds. She coughed and sputtered, more coffee grounds coming out of her mouth. “Oh what did I do to deserve this?!” she cried.
Silver Spoon cocked an eyebrow. “… Seriously?”
-ooo-
‘Knock, knock, knock!’
Pinkie Pie gently rapped her forehoof against a door to a Ponyville home. Sonata loomed over her, towering over the much smaller pony.
“Coming!” a cheerful voice answered. The door slowly opened revealing an off white earth pony mare with red hair with a pink streak in it and emerald-colored eyes. “Oh Pinkie! What can I doooo…?” The mare’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the massive blue sea monster behind Pinkie.
“Hi there!” Sonata greeted with a smiling mouth full of sharp teeth. “Can we have something to eat?”
“Hey!” Pinkie cried turning around. “We need to ask about the past!”
“Oh, right!” Sonata said. “Can you tell us about the past and then can we—”
The mare’s eyes rolled back into her head and she hit the ground with a ‘thud!’
“Shoot!” Pinkie said. “That’s the firth house in a row!”
“Roseluck?!” A feminine voice called out from inside the house. “Are you alright?”
Pinkie and Sonata paused as the gentle sound of hooves tapping against wood could be heard.
“Who was at the door?” Another feminine voice chimed in. “And what was that sound?”
The gentle sound of hooves quickly turned into gallop as a pink earth pony mare with green hair and a darker pink earth pony mare with yellow hair ran up to the door.
“Pinkie?!” The light pink mare began. “What—” He eyes widened as she caught sight of Sonata. Her eyes soon rolled upwards as her body fell downwards. No longer a standing pony in between her and guests at the door, the darker pink mare looked up, looked way up, then collapsed to the floor.
Sonata puffed out her lower lip. “We’re never gonna get to eat,” she bemoaned.
Pinkie turned and gave Sonata a heavy frown.
“… What? What is it?” Sonata asked.
“We’re here for a history report!” Pinkie reminded.
“Oh, right!” Sonata said. “We’re never gonna get to eat that history report,” she bemoaned.
Pinkie sighed as she put on a smile with just a hint of frustration mixed in. “Let’s just try another house…”
“Okay!” Sonata said happily as she lowered her head under Pinkie’s legs, scooping the pink pony onto her muzzle. Sonata quickly floated over to another Ponyville house and gently lowered her snout.
Pinkie slowly lowered herself to the front step and repeated the process of knocking on the front door.
The door swung open revealing a pink earth pony mare with tousled magenta hair and magenta eyes fixed into a grumpy scowl.
“Hi there!” Sonata said, once again smiling with a mouth full of sharp teeth. “Can we have—”
“You’re late!” The mare interrupted as she swayed slightly, then leaned against the door frame to stay upright
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged confused glances.
“Late?” Pinkie asked. She inhaled a huge volume of air. “You mean we’re late for the past!”
“What?” The mare replied. She shook her head. “No, no, no…” She quickly whipped out a metal flask and took a swing. She wiped a foreleg across her mouth and scowled some more. “Where’sss the regularr guy?” she asked, slurring her words.
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged another glance.
“Uh… What other guy?” Sonata asked.
“You know!” the mare cried in an exasperated tone. “The other shea monsher!”
Pinkie frowned. “Er… I only brought the one…”
The mare let out an exasperated growl and slammed her door shut. “‘upposhed to be PURPLE!” she said in an irritated tone from the other side of the door.
Pinkie and Sonata cringed at the sudden slamming door. They looked at each other, shrugged, and then Sonata gathered Pinkie back onto the top of her snout. The pair floated off to another house, oblivious to the long, purple sea serpent that slithered up behind them. He adjusted his well coiffed orange hair and smoothed out his long mustache before knocking on the door. “Hello, Berry? Sorry I’m late!”
-ooo-
Pinkie chatted excitedly as she sat in front of a large wooden desk. “… And THEN we noticed a big tall building! So I said, ‘Hey! That place looks big and important! Maybe if we check there somebody could help us learn about the past or where a library is or something!”
“I… I see…” A frightened light-brown earth pony mare with gray hair, ocean-blue eyes, wearing a white collar and green cravat. A number of papers that were likely in a neat stack just a bit ago now sat haphazardly spread across her desk. Additionally, an inkwell was tipped over, soaking some of the papers black as a quill marinated in the thick substance.
“I thought you might have snacks!” Sonata exclaimed from beside the mare. The top half of her massive body resting on one half of the mare’s desk, her front hooves dangling off the side as she leaned her head down towards the mayor.
Mayor Mare jumped away from Sonata suddenly, causing a few papers to suddenly fly up off her desk and gently float down to the ground, contributing to the mess. “Wa-well…” she began nervously, “Our library sort of blew up, but Twilight still has the most books… er…” She looked at Pinkie. “I’m sure you knew that.”
Pinkie giggled. “Hehe… Yep! Twilight would be my first choice, but we sort of made a mess when we were there last and thought maybe we should give her a little break...”
‘Crack!’
Mayor Mare’s desk suddenly formed a crack in the center. It buckled inward sending the siren, papers, and ink towards the center before the whole mass fell downwards.
‘CRUNCH!’
Thankfully, having put a little distance between herself in the siren, Mayor Mare simply looked at the heap with a worried glance before meeting eye contact with Pinkie. “I see…”
“Hey!” Sonata exclaimed as she raised herself back upright. “Your desk is broke.”
Pinkie gave Mayor Mare a sheepish grin.
“Er… Yes… In-indeed,” The Mayor replied. She focused her gaze on Pinkie. “Wha-well… if you can’t go to Twilight, then I suggest maybe trying Ca-Canterlot Ca-Castle…” Mayor Mare suggested while pointing a shaking forehoof out an arched window towards a massive white castle in the distance. “The-they should know how to deal with you—IMEAN wha-what to do with you… Erm… How to take care of you…” Mayor Mare pursed her lips tightly and simply looked at Sonata with a frightful look.
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged glances and smiled.
“Sounds good to me!” Sonata said.
Pinkie nodded as she turned back to the Mayor. “Yes! None of the three ways you said what you said sounded cryptic or foreboding at all!” She said cheerfully.
“Uhhh…” The Mayor swallowed and, with herculean effort, forced a grin onto her face.
“Come on Pinkie!” Sonata said as she faced the window. “I bet that big ol’ castle is full of food!”
Pinkie sighed and clambered on top of Sonata. “Well… As long as we’re going.” She peered closer at the window, barely wide enough for a pony to fit through, then down to the large sea monster she was on top of. “Hey, Sonata…”
“That’s my name! Don’t wear it out!”
Pinkie grinned. “Sonata! Sonata! Sonata! Sonata!”
“No! Stop it!” Sonata cried.
“SonataSonataSonataSona—”
“Ahhhhhhhhh! STOP!” Sonata cried as she lurched forward.
‘CRASH!’
Sonata effortlessly tore through the window and the wall around it, leaving a gaping hole in the side of Mayor Mare’s office.
Mayor Mare sighed. “I bet this sort of stuff never happens in Appleloosa…”
>-ooo-<
“…And that’s where I’d be right now!” Pinkie Pie said as Sunset gave her an annoyed expression and Twilight shook her head, a forehoof over her face. Pinkie continued, “Leaving the Mayor’s office to go check Canterlot Castle!”
“Well,” Adagio said, “that certainly sounds like the sort of trouble that moron would get into.”
Aria frowned heavily. “Wait… I mean… I can sorta that pink pony knowing what Equestria her would do… but how’d she know the bullies dived into a dumpster? Or the part with the sea serpent?! Or even what the mayor said when she left?!”
The two Applejacks began to speak in unison, “Well shucks…” they paused and stared at each other.
“It’s yer world,” Canterlot High’s Applejack said.
“Fair ‘nuff,” Equestria’s Applejack responded with a smile, she turned back to the sirens. “Y’all just need to spend more time with Pinkie I reckon, then you’ll learn that it just hurts your head to question this stuff.”
“Ugh… pass,” Adagio said.
“Yeah,” Aria agreed. “We already have an airhead and she’s more than enough trouble!”
Twilight looked at Pinkie in disbelief. “You mean to tell me while we’ve all been in here wasting time, we could have just gone to town to find the other you and that siren!”
“Uh-huh!” Pinkie replied cheerfully as she needed her head up and down.
“Well don’t look at me!” Sunset cried. “You where the one who insisted I spend so much time apologize for every little thing!”
Twilight’s horn began to glow a brilliant purple as she turned and gave Sunset a frightful glare.
Spike chimed in. “That’s what I came down to talk to you about!”
The glow from Twilight’s horn faded.
“What?!” Twilight and Sunset cried in unison as they turned towards Spike.
Spike nodded. “I saw Pinkie on a giant blue sea monster thing that was flying around! I wanted to see if you knew what was going on!”
Twilight grit her teeth. “Why didn’t you say something right away?!”
“Well, I was gonna,” Spike answered. “But then…” His eyes drifted out into the room turning slightly glazed over as he caught sight of the Canterlot High Rarity, a dreamy smile spread across his face as he caught sight of the Equestria Rarity.
“Spike!” Twilight shouted.
Spike turned back to face Twilight. “I’m sorry… what were we talking about?”
Twilight gave out the mother of all exasperated groans. “Ugggggghhhh… Everypony stay here!” she said. “I’m going to go to the observation deck to see if I can still spot those two.” With a quick glow of her horn and a bright flash, Twilight teleported away.
“WHAT?!” Sunset cried. Her horn began to glow turquoise. “No way! You are not leaving me alone with all these psychos!” With another bright flash, Sunset was also gone.
Spike turned and looked at both Rarity’s longingly, then lowered his head and sighed heavily. “Twilight was pretty mad. I better go and make sure they don’t kill each other…” He said as he trudged out of the room.
For a moment, everypony was silent as they simply stared at one another.
Equestria’s Rainbow Dash called out. “So… I vote we all make out with our other world lookalikes!”
Canterlot High’s Fluttershy’s wings immediately shot up into the air as her face flushed. The other Fluttershy let out an “Oh my.”
Pinkie Pie looked to her left and her right before collapsing to her belly and letting out a disappointed sigh.
The Rarity’s and Applejacks, both let out sounds of protest and disgust.
“What?!” Equestria’s Rainbow Dash cried. “We were all thinking it!” She looked across the room to the other Rainbow Dash. “Right?”
Aria shook her head. “What a group of weirdos.” She turned to Adagio. “Right, Dagi?” Aria lowered her head as she noticed Adagio laying on her belly, the ends of her legs and her face sticking out from underneath her massive pile of hair.
“Adagio?” Aria asked.
Adagio let out a sad sigh. “I wish I had a copy of myself to make out with.”
With a brilliant flash, Twilight Sparkle appeared on a set of crystalline stairs, glowering down the stairs at an orange unicorn that was galloping up them. “STOP FOLLOWING ME!” Twilight shouted.
Sunset returned fire with a dirty look of her own. With a flash and a ‘Poomf!’ she was suddenly about a dozen steps above Twilight. “No! You stop following me!” she shouted downwards.
At the bottom of the stairs, Spike rushed to catch up to the two mares.
Twilight grit her teeth as her horn glowed purple. ‘Poomf!’ She was once again in the lead. “Look, I appreciate your desire to help, but this is my world. I’ll fix this.”
Sunset leap frogged her with a ‘Poomf!’ “Oh lay off it! You left me in charge of the sirens!”
‘Poomf!’ “Right, and look how that turned out! Looks like I get to clean another one of your messes!”
‘Poomf!’ Sunset Shimmer shot Twilight a glare as if she was trying to melt the purple alicorn’s head with her eyes instead of her magic. “Right, right… Just like you saved the day against the sirens in the first place… Oh wait!”
‘Poomf!’ “Don’t change the subject! Looks to me you finally succeeded in unleashing a crazed, magical monster on Equestria!”
‘Poomf!’ “I get enough of that demon stuff back at CanterlotHigh, thankyouverymuch. I don’t need perfect purple pony princess to remind me!”
‘Poomf!’ “Hey! I never said I was perfect, but at least when I screw up I don’t almost destroy two worlds!”
Sunset grit her teeth. ‘Poomf!’ “DORK!”
‘Poomf!’ “JERK!”
“Girls?” Spike called from below them.
‘Poomf!’ “MEDDLER!”
‘Poomf!’ “BUTT DRAWER!”
“GIRLS!” Spike shouted with force, though his voice was getting further.
‘Poomf!’ “CREDIT STEALER!”
‘Poomf!’ “BITC—”
“GIIRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLS!” Came Spike’s distant, but loud yell.
“WHAT?!” Twilight and Sunset said in unison as they looked down.
A thought occurred to both ponies that they were not standing on anything. They were both, in fact, quite a few dozen yards above the castle.
Twilight and Sunset let out cries of alarm. Twilight quickly spread her wings and began a not-so-controlled descent back towards the roof of the castle. Sunset’s horn glowed azure and with yet another ‘poomf!’ she teleported about a foot above the castle, falling on top of the observation platform next to a pony-sized purple telescope with an “Oof!”
With an “Aaaaah!” and a ‘Crash!’ Twilight joined her.
Still lying on her stomach with her legs spread in all directions, Sunset glared at Twilight. “Nice flying,” she said sarcastically.
Leaning upside-down against a crystalline wall with her tail dangling between her legs and almost tickling her muzzle, Twilight returned the glare and the tone, “Nice teleporting.”
Spike slowly walked into the visual death beams the girls were sending each other. “Uh… I wanted to tell you girls you both ran out of stairs.”
“We noticed, Spike. Thanks,” Twilight said as she scrambled to her hooves.
“Hey!” Sunset exclaimed. “We only noticed because he yelled at us.” She gave Spike an earnest look of gratitude. “Thank you.”
Spike chuckled. “Ah… T’wernt nothing.”
Twilight leaned her head past Spike to glare at Sunset. “Did you mean that, or are you just trying to show me up?”
“Of course I meant it!” Sunset said. “But if, for whatever reason, you felt ‘shown up’, maybe it’s because you actually suck at this friendship stuff!”
“Uh… girls?” Spike attempted to interject.
“And I suppose the girl who was blackmailing and extorting everyone she knew just a little bit ago is suddenly an expert?!”
“Excuse you, but I’m doing really well for someone who has to babysit a school full of deranged lunatics!”
“Ha! ‘Deranged lunatics’?! Some friend you are.”
“GIRLS!” Spike shouted. “There’s kinda a Pinkie Pie and a dangerous, flying sea monster possibly on the loose in Canterlot? Maybe you two can figure out who’s better at friendship later?”
Twilight and Sunset paused. Looked at the telescope, looked at each other, and with magical glows of both their horns teleported once more.
‘Poomf!’
‘Thud!’
With another flash of light, both mares found themselves in a heap on the ground, their legs a tangled mess of orange and purple. The pair wasted no time in parting far enough to start swatting at each other with their hooves.
“It’s my telescope!” Twilight exclaimed as she batted spastically at Sunset.
“Just wait. I’m going to fix this!” Sunset replied as she returned the aggression with equal ineffectiveness.
Spike sighed and walked around the melee of flying hooves. “I guess I’ll take a look…”
“You’ve done plenty, thanks!”
“Stop being such a brat, princess!”
“Stop calling me princess as a pejorative!”
“GIRLS!” Spike shouted.
“WHAT?!” both mares shouted in unison, their hooves pressed against the other’s face.
Spike scrunched his lips up as he peered through the telescope. “You might want to take a look at this. There’s an awful lot of smoke coming out of Canterlot Castle.”
Both mares turned, neither requiring a telescope to pick out the small plume of black smoke wafting out of one of windows of Canterlot castle.
-ooo-
“Ah, nerts,” Sonata said as she watched a fire shoot up from an oven, completely engulfing a set of four pans on top of the stove. Black smoke poured out from the fire, covering the ceiling of the kitchen and escaping from a large open window. “Well, I guess the oil is heated up.”
Sonata’s large part pony/mostly sea monster body could barely fit between the white cupboards, stoves, and collection of cooking utensils of the massive, well-stocked kitchen. A collection of pots, pans, cooking trays, spoons, and spatulas littered the floor around and behind her, creating a small trail of kitchen clutter marking her journey through the royal kitchen.
Sonata craned her neck slightly, picking out a stove that was decidedly not nearly as inflamed as the one she currently had going. “Guess we should start another batch of oil heating up.”
Pinkie Pie poked her head up from behind the massive siren, her face desperately holding onto an expression that suggested ‘helpfulness’ as opposed to fear from complete immolation. “Maybe we should make sure we have all the ingredients before we heat up another batch,” she suggested. “Also possibly put out that fire before we die of asphyxiation.”
The word ‘affixiation’ entered one ear of Sonata’s and smacked into the closest one it sounded like in the vast, empty space between her ears. Sonata giggled. “Silly Pinkie! We can’t die from the sustained increase in the prices of goods and services over time…” She frowned. “Unless you mean we’ll die by eventually becoming poverty stricken if our wages aren’t increased at a level consistent with the lowering value of currency.”
Pinkie grinned nervously. “Erm… I don’t think you quite understood.”
“Wait!” Sonata lowered her head as the room continued to fill with smoke. “Do you mean if someone tries to fill our bodies with a gas of some sort? I mean… That can totally kill us…”
Pinkie coughed and lowered herself down so she was also below the smoke line. “No, I meant we should put out the fire before we die of smoke inhalation that stops us from being able to breathe.”
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Sonata asked.
“Er…”
“Anyways, that wouldn’t be a problem if this kitchen made any sense what-so-ever!” Sonata growled out. She turned towards a large metal door that was currently open with a large pile of oats with carrots sticking out, currently sitting in a puddle of milk. “I mean, where do they keep the meat?!”
Pinkie paused for a moment before a lightbulb suddenly materialized above her head and switched on. “Hey! They’re ponies right? Maybe they don’t usually eat meat!”
Her chin now planted against the floor, Sonata stared up in amazement at the light bulb. “How are you doing that?!”
Her chin likewise getting nice and close with the floor, Pinkie looked up and gasped. “How am I doing that?!”
“I mean… that light bulb isn’t even connected to anything! How is it working?!”
Pinkie gasped. “Maybe it’s a magic light bulb!”
“Ohhhh…” Sonata said as realization set on her face. “Right, that explains everything.”
“What in the bloody hell is going on in MY KITCHEN?!”
Sonata and Pinkie turned to see a unicorn stallion with a peach-colored coat and blond mane and tail. His mane was cut short and ruffled slightly and he wore a chef’s jacket that left his cutie mark of two chef’s knives crossed in an ‘X’ exposed. With a sky-blue glow of his horn, a number of switches in the kitchen suddenly glowed with a matching color and flipped upwards. With a ‘click’ the sounds of large fans spinning up could be heard and the smoke began to clear.
“Sorry!” Pinkie said. “We’re just trying to make tacos!”
Already at ‘100% mad’, the stallion’s face somehow managed to turn ‘100% confused as well’. “Is that why there’s a bloody grease fire totally destroying one of my ovens and a set of pans? Because you two idiots don’t know how to fry tortillas without burning down the entire castle!?”
“We know how to fry tortillas!” Pinkie insisted. “We just sort of started heating up the oil…” Her cheeks began to turn slightly red under her pink coat. “And we sort of forgot about it as we went looking for everything else we needed.”
The stallion nodded. “Right, well that explains everything.”
Pinkie face lit up. “It does?”
“You two are blooming idiots who are going to get us all killed! Now I want you two out of this kitchen as fast as possible! If you’ve somehow forgotten how doors work in addition to ovens, there’s a nice open window you can try to your right!”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip in a pout.
Sonata picked the enraged unicorn up by his chef’s jacket and held in in front of her face. “Alright, Mr. Shouty, we’ll be out of the kitchen just as soon as I get some ground beef to make tacos!”
Though the act highlighted the size difference between the two, the unicorn met the aggressive act by clenching his teeth and shaking so hard a vein appeared on his forehead, effectively setting his expression to ‘200% mad’. “What in the blazes is ground beef!?”
“You know… it’s what you get when you stick a cow in a meat grinder!”
“… That’s sick! You twisted freaks aren’t going anywhere near cows if y’er planning to murder them!”
Sonata parted her lips, showing a mouth almost the size of the stallion’s head that was full of sharp teeth. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to try pony tacos.”
Now ‘300% mad’ with his face turning a burning red, the unicorn’s horn glowed sky-blue and suddenly Sonata was staring at the points of two floating kitchen knives floating inches away from her face. “You try it and I’ll add seafood to tonight’s royal menu!”
“Holy geez!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Sonata, put down that pony! I’m sure we can make tacos without killing anyone!”
Sonata turned to Pinkie. “What about a cow? Sounds like we’ll have to kill at least one cow.”
“NO PONY IS KILLING ANYTHING TODAY!” a booming female voice shouted.
The group turned to see Princess Celestia staring at them with an unamused expression on her face, her shimmering hair wafting in the smoky kitchen.
“No deal!” the stallion exclaimed. “These two broke into the kitchen and are trying to kill us all via smoke inhalation or fiery death! I think it’s ‘kill or be killed’ at this point!”
“Yeah!” Sonata piped in. “And I still need to grind up at least one cow for meat!”
Celestia’s horn began to blaze with a yellow aura.
Pinkie threw her forehooves in front of her face. “I ACCEPT THE ‘NO ONE DIES’ PROCLAMATION!” she replied in a panicked, shrill tone.
The glow on Celestia’s horn blazed until it almost reached the ceiling. Suddenly, a yellow orb appeared around the blazing oven. It filled with black smoke before disappearing in a yellow flash.
-ooo-
Sitting alone, on a green easychair with ornately carved wooden armrests and wooden legs that almost touched the light fixture hanging above, Discord sat penning an upside-down letter over a writing desk that floated vertically and spun lazily in a clockwise direction. As the desk rotated, taking the paper half-filled with words with it, so did Discord’s talon which held a flashing Technicolor peacock quill. Heads of antler-endowed rabbits lined the wood grain walls of the room and shot glares and dirty looks to Discord as he adjusted a pair of spectacles on his muzzle and focused on penning whatever he was writing.
‘Poomf!’
‘CRUNCH!’
‘FWOOOOSH!’
Without warning, a flaming oven appeared above Discord’s desk, crushing it and sending chunks of splintered wood in all directions as it filled the room with smoke and fire. The rabbits on the wall all turned towards this new development and reacted disfavorably, screaming in terrified, shrill tones as black smoke rapidly filled the room and fire began to consume the floor.
Discord attempted to ignore this chain of developments, continuing his writing with a frustrated frown as the flames hardly cooperated in standing still long enough for him to pen a sentence. With a huff, he threw his color-shifting quill behind him, impaling one of the screaming antler sporting rabbits in the forehead and transforming it into a jet propelled-dolphin with a pair of curved goat horns.
The dolphin quickly rammed its way through a wall, its jets allowing it to make a very hasty retreat from the room.
Discord stared at the flaming oven and stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Now how did this get here? Flaming ovens are way out of season and it’s not my birthday.” Discord paused as his fuzzy and now flaming eyebrows knit together. “OR is it?”
With a snap of Discord’s talon, he was suddenly in front of a door floating in a vast expanse of a rose colored sky filled with cotton candy clouds. With one swift kick of his dragon leg, the door flew open greeting Discord with a startled yelp.
Fire now covering the top of his head, Discord poked his head through the door, identifying the source of the yelp as one surprised and shaking guardspony. A pegasus male, orange of coat and golden of armor with a blue plume on his helmet.
Before the guardspony could react or so much as ready his spear, he was in the grasp of Discord, inches away from a fiery face and staring into eyeballs that were beginning to steam.
“WHO DROPPED AN OVEN IN MY STUDY?!” Discord demanded.
“Uhhh… I-don’t… I don’t know…” answered the surprised guardspony as he watched fire spread downwards over Discord’s face.
Discord tut-tutted and shook his head, sending bits of flaming face flying off in all directions. He set down the pegasus guard. With a snap of his finger he produced a quill and an open card that bared a crazed-looking characterchure of himself in front a flaming house with the words ‘Thanks for the gift. I had a roaring good time!’ written with the words ‘roaring’ printed out in flame. Discord began to pen a message inside the card as his skin, muscles, and eyes melted from his face. “I swear, you ponies have the strangest names. Now how many ellipsis is, ‘Uhhh… I-don’t… I don’t know…’ spelled with?”
-ooo-
As the smoke cleared from the kitchen, Celestia’s gaze drifted over the large, blue sea monster in her midst, the familiar pink pony in front of it, and the incredibly angry-looking unicorn currently using magic to hold up a pair of razor sharp kitchen knives as it was held up by said blue sea monster.
Deciding she had clearly just completely lost the ‘explanation lottery’, Celestia decided to start with the pony who would most likely give her a straightforward answer of what had just transpired. “Kitchen Nightmare, could you please explain the smoke pouring out of the kitchen?”
“These imbeciles started an oil fire because apparently frying tortillas is too complicated for them!”
Sonata giggled. “Kitchen Nightmare is a girl’s name!”
“Oye!” The floating knives shook and slightly inched towards Sonata. “Keep that up and I’ll show you how quickly I can gut and clean a fish!”
Pinkie Pie rushed up to Celestia, falling to the knees on her back legs and placing her front hooves together in attempt to form a ‘begging’ pose. “I’m sorry, tallest horse! My friend and I were just hungry and trying to make some food and she hasn’t been a sea monster for a long time and I’ve never been a pony before!”
Celestia looked down at Pinkie in surprise. “Tallest horse? Pinkie Pie, what has gotten into you? You’re making less sense than usual.” Celestia made a mental note to add that one to her ‘burn diary’.
Pinkie gasped. “You know my name?! Are you psychic?!” Pinkie thought back to when she first met Twilight. “Wait… are all ponies psychic?!” Her eyes shot open wide, the blacks of her pupils suddenly spilling over and flooding her sky blue irises. “Am I psychic!?”
Kitchen Nightmare shot a glare at the pink pony. “Tell me what I’m thinking right now.”
Pinkie winced. “But I can’t make a ‘censor beep’ that lasts five minutes uninterrupted!”
Celestia sighed heavily. “Pinkie Pie… where’s Twilight and what are you doing here? Also more importantly, who is this you’ve brought with you?”
Pinkie swallowed. “Well, Twilight is probably at her castle. I wanted to stop and say ‘Heya!’ But when we jumped through the magic mirror, Sonata here turned into a giant sea monster and I think it surprised the other ponies and then there was lots of shouting and confusion and Sonata said she was hungry and didn’t see any food in the room with all the shouting ponies who look suspiciously like my friends back home if they were ponies, but maybe it makes more sense to say me and my friends look more like the ponies here if the ponies here somehow were turned into humans as say… some toy company’s attempt to make a profit based on the how well a rival toy line is doing. So, before I can say ‘he’ or half of my ‘heya’ to Twilight or myself or the other ponies, Sonata rushes out of the castle and we start asking ponies if they have any food while I try to remind her we came here to write a history report, but Sonata can’t concentrate on an empty stomach, and a nice pony with gray hair pointed to the castle and we decided to come here. The guards asked us questions at first and looked confused, but once they made me take a ‘changeling test’ and a ‘magical mind control’ test which I passed despite not studying for either, they decided to let us through because they figured it was ‘Element of Harmony business’. After that we found the kitchen Sonata started heating up oil as we looked for other things to make tacos with, and even though we found cheese, tomatoes, onion, lettuce, and tortillas, we couldn’t find any ground beef and then the oven caught fire, but then I realized maybe ponies don’t eat meat because ponies and horses from our world don’t usually eat meat so it’s probably strange for you to have ground beef just in your kitchens, and then Sonata and I got distracted by this lightbulb that appeared, but then the unicorn Sonata is holding showed up and got mad at us and I guess we forgot about the lightbulb, and I can’t really get upset back at this pony, because I’d be pretty peeved if a sea monster and a pony I hadn’t even met before showed up to my kitchen and set it on fire, too! And then you showed up and got rid of the oven and started asking questions, so I guess what I’m doing now is answering your questions.”
Confusion finally having stamped out anger, Kitchen Nightmare simply looked at the pink mare in disbelief. “What?”
“Oh!” Pinkie said. She motioned towards Sonata. “And this is Sonata! But I think I said her name exactly seven times already… Well… Now eight.”
“Hello, tallest horse!” Sonata greeted with a smile. Her smile quickly faded into a more serious look. “Do you have any food?”
“… What?” Kitchen Nightmare repeated.
Celestia paused with a thoughtful look for a moment. “Please put down my head chef and you’ll get everything that’s coming to you.”
Sonata’s face lit up as she set down Kitchen Nightmare. “Why that sounds like a good thing for me and not ominous at all!”
Pinkie swallowed hard.
Celestia motioned for Kitchen Nightmare to come over to her. With quivering tight lips fighting to hide a smirk, the unicorn trotted next to Celestia and stood by her side.
Celestia sighed heavily. “I can see this is of the highest emergencies…” A deep, sorrowful frown took hold of Celestia features like a crazed wolverine, she nodded in the direction of a cupboard. “There’s a cookie jar hidden in the back of the furthest cupboard in that corner. You may help yourself to as many chocolate rainbow cookies as you like.” Celestia’s lips quivered slightly. “I love chocolate rainbow cookies.”
“… WHAT?!” Kitchen Nightmare exclaimed.
Sonata and Pinkie gasped and tore through the kitchen, sending pots and pans in all direction as they scrambled for the cupboard.
Celestia gave one more sad glance as the pair produced the cookies, opened the jar, and began devouring the contents of the jar with reckless abandon. She turned towards the doorway. “… Come along, Kitchen Nightmare. We’re going.”
Kitchen Nightmare Kitchen shot the princess a disbelieving look. “Are you out of your bleeding mind, princess?! You’re just going to let these two have the run of the royal kitchen?!”
“This has ‘Twilight problem’ written all over it,” Celestia said as she began trotting towards the black double-doors of the kitchen exit. “I’m sure she’ll be along shortly to straighten this out before any more have to be sacrificed.”
Kitchen Nightmare followed Celestia, flinching with each ‘crash’ and ‘bang’ that sounded through the kitchen. “Do you mean ‘living things’ or ‘cookies’?”
Sunset Shimmer stared intently at the smoke that poured out of a castle window and up into the Canterlot skyline, besmirching an otherwise perfectly blue day, not that there was much ‘perfect’ about the day she was having. Sunset closed her eyes and sighed, inhaled, then sighed again. She opened her eyes and stared at the castle once more, pursed her lips, and turned away. She turned to face the castle again. Closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, then opened her eyes and looked at the castle in determination. It’s alright, Sunset… You. Can. Do this!
“Uh… You alright there, Sunset?” Spike asked.
Sunset turned and smiled… At least… she thought it was a smile? Maybe it wasn’t or perhaps not a very convincing one as Spike and Twilight responded to her expression with frightful looks. Well… No matter. “I’m fine!” Sunset replied. “Totally, absolutely fine!” She said, gritting her teeth on ‘fine’. “Okay, okay… Sure, Sonata and Pinkie are on some sort of stupid-fueled rampage in Canterlot, but it’s nothing I can’t handle! I mean… It would have been great if they picked literally any other direction to head in, but of course their simple minds decided to go for the shiniest, biggest bauble they could see! So, you know!” Sunset swung a forehoof in front of her. “I’ll just go… to... Canterlot Castle! Where my problems are that I should fix… That I will fix!” Sunset grinned nervously. “Erm… At least the two problems of Sonata and Pinkie running loose.”
Twilight looked at Sunset quizzically for a moment. “You have more problems at Canterlot Castle?”
“No, Twilight!” Sunset said as her smile turned even more askew. “Why would I have any other problems at the castle I was exiled from?!”
“Okay… I see your point,” Twilight said. “But, I’m sure Celestia is ready to overlook that. Your past aside, you did step up and save everyone from the sirens.”
Sunset clamped down on her teeth hard. “Sure, Twilight!” She pressed her forehooves against her cheeks and pushed them in. “It’s not like Celestia will be so mad about me brining the sirens here that she would double banish me, tells me she hates me even more now, and we never talk EVER again because all I do is mess things up for her every time I’m around!”
“Uh…” Spike scratched the back of his head. “I think you might be just being a little paranoid there,” he said, holding up a thumb in index claw just little bit away from each other. “I mean, Celestia’s pretty understanding,” Spike turned. “Right, Twilight?”
Twilight wore terror on her face like an old, comfortable sweater. “Oh gosh… She might exile me too… “
Spike smacked a claw against his face. “Twilight... You have your own castle and a title now. I mean… How would that even work?”
Twilight swallowed. “What if she banishes me and the castle to the moon!”
Sunset cringed. “Oh my God, she just might!”
Spike slumped his shoulders and let out a sigh. “Girls, I know you’re worried and all, but there’s an awful lot of smoke coming from the castle… Maybe we should get on that?”
Sunset’s eyes went distant. “That means fire! She’ll suspect me for sure!” she murmured.
“Lookin’ at you, Book Horse,” Spike said as he turned towards Twilight. “I think Sunset needs a moment.”
Twilight took a deep breath. “Right, Spike.” She trotted up to the telescope. “We can worry about how Celestia responds later, right now we need to fix this.” Twilight peered through the telescope. “Hmmm… Looks like a kitchen fire… Maybe it’s unrelated?” Twilight suggested.
Sunset took a few calming breaths.
“No, wait… Sonata just flew through a closed window with Pinkie on her back.”
Sunset’s eyes widened in horror as she gave a full-toothed grimace.
Twilight continued, “Aaaaand the head chef is launching cutlery and pots and pans at them.”
Sunset let out a sound that seemed to be a combination of a muted terrified shriek and a gurgle.
“They’re flying off… No, wait… Sonata looped back and they just broke back into a castle through a different window… Wow... there's just broken glass, pots and pans, and butchers knives everywhere.”
Sunset sank down to her belly and stared out into open space.
Spike shot Sunset an unsure look and then turned, squinting at the castle. “Hey… I think I see something on the highest tower…” he said, pointing.
Twilight shifted her telescope and cringed. “It’s uh… Celestia at her telescope. She sees us.”
Sunset covered her face and began to sob pathetically.
“Does… Does she look angry?” Spike asked.
“Uh… Actually, she’s waving at us,” Twilight said. She raised a forehoof. “I’m waving back.”
Sunset uncovered her face.
“Twilight, we’re right here,” Spike pointed out as he joined in waving. “We can see what you're doing.”
“Uh, right…” Twilight ceased waving. “I think she’s trying to say something, or lip-sync something to me? Uh…” Twilight peered intently through the telescope. “‘Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike. Who’s your friend?’ And I think she’s pointing at Sunset.”
Slowly, Sunset got back to her hooves. A perplexed look on her face. “Celestia doesn’t recognize me?”
“Wait,” said Twilight, “she’s looking through her telescope again… and…” Twilight pulled her face away from her telescope and rubbed her eye. “That can’t be right…”
“What?” enquired Spike.
Twilight placed her peeper back on the telescope. “I think… I think Celestia is hyperventilating… and… er… having a panic attack?”
Perplexed expression on her face, Sunset trotted over to Twilight. “Let me see…” Twilight moved aside and allowed Sunset to look through the telescope. Sunset sighed. “Yes… Celestia sees me and is now running in place and looking for something to hide behind… She picked the railing that’s still shorter than her even when she gets down on the floor and covers her head. Aaaand she just realized we can probably still see her and has bolted back inside.” Sunset removed her eyes from the telescope. “Typical,” she uttered in an annoyed tone as she trotted away from the telescope.
Twilight pursed her lips and returned to looking through the telescope. “Maybe I can find her…”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “What? Do you get X-ray vision as a princess, too?”
“No, but I can sometimes see Celestia through a window or something when I look through the telescope.”
“… Well, that doesn’t sound weird at all!” Sunset quipped.
“Oh! There she is, in her bedroom!” Twilight said.
“Totally not creepy…” Sunset added.
“… She’s pulled the covers up over her head,” Twilight informed.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Of course she did.”
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike interjected. “Maybe this isn’t an appropriate time for this.”
Twilight turned narrowed her eyes at Spike slightly. “Oh, sure! When the Princess of the Night looks at ponies in their bedrooms, it’s considered ‘part of her royal duty’! But when the Princess of Friendship does it, suddenly it’s inappropriate or stalking!” She said, air-quoting with her forehooves.
“I, uh, just meant that Sonata and Pinkie are still in the castle,” Spike pointed out.
“Oh, right…” Twilight went back to her telescope and moved it around a bit. “Nope… Don’t see them.” Twilight frowned and turned towards Sunset and Spike. “Do you think Celestia might want to get involved in this?”
Sunset’s lips tugged to the left in irritation. “Is she eating cake frosting in her bedroom?”
Twilight returned her eye to the telescope. “Well… there are cans of cake frosting around her bed, now... One just disapeared under the covers where it looks like Celestia is still, um, hiding.”
“Then, ‘no’,” Sunset answered, “I can assure you Celestia is quite done with today.” Sunset sighed. “Alright then… I guess it’s game face time.” Sunset looked at Twilight. “Look… I’m sorry this spun out of control and I want to fix this, but…”
Twilight smiled. “Need some help?”
“With a psychotic siren and a very Pinkie Pinkie Pie loose in a world I haven’t been to in a few years?” Sunset sighed. “Yeah… I think at least one powerful alicorn princess would be helpful.”
Twilight nodded. “Alright, Sunset. Let’s go get our friends!”
Sunset offered Twilight a small grin and nodded.
With a glow of their horns, both girls disappeared with a ‘pomff!’
Spike’s forehead tightened. “No that’s fine,” he grumbled as he turned to the observation deck’s entrance. “I’ll just walk back. Noooo problem at all, girls…” he added sarcastically.
“Is… is Mr. Shouty still throwing things at us?” Sonata Dusk inquired as she hid her face and little else from behind an empty suit of Equestrian Guard armor.
Pinkie Pie peeked her head out from behind a suit of armor that somehow completely hid her body from sight despite its emptiness. “Well… He stopped throwing things at us.” One of Pinkie’s ears twitched and she giggled as at perked up. “Oh! I can still hear him.”
“Is he saying he wants to forgive us and offer us lots of yummy food?” Sonata asked hopefully.
Pinkie cringed. “Not unless you count him cooking you and then me having to eat cooked you until I explode… I don’t want him to cook you or explode!”
“Huh…” Sonata uttered. “I saw something like that on the internet once…” Sonata giggled. “That was a good day.”
“Uh…” Pinkie offered Sonata a nervous smile. “Well, now that we’ve had something to eat, we really should get back to researching that history report.”
Sonata sighed. “Do we have to?” she whined.
“… It’s kind of the entire reason we’re here?” Pinkie reminded.
“Oh, yeah,” Sonata replied. “Hey, maybe that orange pony in the armor that’s pointing a spear at us can help?”
“What?” Pinkie turned and let out a startled “Eep!” as she took note of an orange pegasus stallion wearing gold armor with a blue plume pointing a spear at her and Sonata’s general direction.
“Hey, what are you two doing here?!” The pony called out in an authoritative tone.
“Ah!” Sonata returned her head back to behind the empty suit of armor. “I’m too young to go to prison!”
Pinkie swallowed. “Uh… Hello Mr. Guard, sir… We’re just trying to do some research on Equestria history and, erm… ended up in this hallway here?”
Without taking his eyes off either the siren or pony, the guard pointed behind himself with a wing. “And this somehow required breaking into here through a window while fleeing raining cutlery?”
Pinkie giggled nervously. “Well… You know what they say, 'The Road to success is not straight! There's a curve called 'going through a portal to another dimension', a loop called 'turning into a pony and giant flying sea monster on the other side', speed bumps called 'your other dimensional versions of your friends seemed kinda upset when that happened', caution lights called 'an angry chief throwing sharp things at you', and flats called 'escaping through a closed window'!”
The guardspony cocked an eyebrow. "I am fairly certain that nopony has said that ever."
"But, I—"
The guard held up a forehoof. "Except for right then when you just said that to me."
Pinkie pursed her lips into a pout.
"Oh... He's good!" Sonata quipped as she peeked out from behind her armor.
The guard shot her a glance and Sonata let out an "Eep!" and hid her face once more. "Nope! Totally hidden! You can't see me!"
The guard shook his head. “Look, I’m not sure why some sort of flying sea monster and an Element Bearer are here in the castle, but shouldn’t you two go to the library if you need to do research?”
“Libraries are boring!” Sonata cried.
“Uh,” Pinkie smiled at the guard. “We were hoping to find someone who could tell us about Equestria’s history.”
“And you thought you’d find someone at the castle?” The guard thought for a moment. “Well, I suppose Princess Celestia might be willing to help if she has the time.”
Sonata popped her head up again. “Ooh, a princess! What does she look like?”
“Uh… she has a white coat, wings, horn, is really tall and has a long mane of flowing, shimmering hair?”
“Oh, you mean Tallest Horse!” Sonata replied. “Yeah, we saw her already! She gave us cookies and then walked off somewhere.”
“Uh…” The guard pony’s face tightened in confusion. “I’m not sure what to do with that information.” He shook his head. “But you two really shouldn’t just be wandering the ha—”
The pony was suddenly cut off by a door that was slammed open before transforming into dozens of terrified winged frogs that croaked out things like “er”, “wise”, and “miller” as they flew off. Discord’s head emerged from the doorway, his annoyed, inquisitive eyes framed by a pair of thick, horn-rimmed glasses. “Alright! What’s with the lack of racket out here!” he demanded. “I could barely concentrate with all the kitchen noise and then the broken glass, but now that it’s stopped I can’t get a single word out.” He slapped the side of his head causing a small cascade of numbers and mathematical symbols to fall out. “See!” He sighed heavily. “I’ll never get my letter to Fluttershy done at this rate!”
Pinkie let out a startled “Ah!” and was behind the guard in a flash. The guardspony glanced behind himself quizzically.
“What the heck is that?!” Pinkie exclaimed as she leveled a forehoof at Discord.
Facing the opposite direction of Discord, Sonata let out a startled cry and placed her head back behind the armor. “If I can’t see them, they can’t see me! If I can’t see them, they can’t see me! If I can’t see them, they can’t see me!” she began to chant quietly to herself over and over again.
“Wow, rude!” Discord replied as he scowled at Pinkie from behind his glasses. “I can say the same thing about you miss pony who often defies all known laws of physics and magic!” Discord stroked his beard a few times. “... A thought occurs that I probably should say the same about you and that worries even me, a bit.”
“That’s Discord,” the guardspony answered Pinkie. “You’ve met him, as I understand and also turned him into stone?”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed and her sky blue eyes drifted upwards as if she was searching her eyelids for something. “I think I’d remember all that.”
The guardspony frowned. “Maybe it’s not my pace to say, but I am moderately concerned the fate of the planet often rests partially on your shoulders.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, not mine!” she stated. “See… I’m a different Pinkie from another dimension!”
“... You know, this is all starting to sound way above my paygrade.”
Pinkie squinted at the guard. “Say… You look familiar in a weird, horsey kind of way… Do you play guitar in another dimension?”
“... How would I possibly know that?”
“Oh, right…” Pinkie grinned. “You wouldn’t happen to have a crush on Twilight, would you?”
The guard’s cheeks flushed slightly. “P-princess Twilight Sparkle? Well… I mean… She is goodlooking… and like… The smartest pony in Equestria... so... uh....”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh my gosh! Flash?! Flash Sentry?!”
“Uh… yeah?” Flash replied.
Pinkie’s face lit up. “Wow! You’re a real sentry! Your name makes oodles more sense now!”
“O-okay…?”
“Are you two going to keep this inane chatter up all day?” Discord asked. He smiled slightly. “Because it would be very helpful if you could, but maybe do me a favor and start knocking down these suits of armor while you yell your conversation at each other across the giant hall.”
“No! One of these is my hiding spot!” Sonata cried. “If you knock it down, everypony will see me!”
"Who said that?!" Discord exclaimed as he began craning his head left, right, up, down, behind, under, and even around.
“... Uh, Sonata?” Pinkie said. “Everypony can mostly see you already!” Pinkie looked at Discord in confusion. "Mostly..." she repeated.
“What?!" Sonata exclaimed. "Do ponies have x-ray vision!? No fair!”
“No?” Flash said. “But you’re like… three times the size of that armor.”
“Are you calling me fat?!” Sonata exclaimed.
“Uh, no…?” Flash said. “I mean… I don’t know how big sea monsters are supposed to be though.”
Sonata began to let out a few sad sobs.
Pinkie tossed a glare at Flash. “You know… I’m starting to figure out why you’re single.”
“Hey!” Flash protested. “I mean… Okay… I am, but it’s not like I walk around telling ponies they’re fat.”
Sonata’s sad, restrained sobs suddenly turned into a prolonged wail. “WhouaaaaaaaaHouaaaaaaaHouaaaaaaa!”
Pinkie wordlessly glowered at Flash.
“But… but… I didn’t mean…” Flash let out a sigh and slumped his shoulders.
Finally locating the source of the voice, Discord pointed at Sonata. “Maybe get that blurry, blue thing to help make noise. She seems good at it.”
Sonata’s head suddenly shot up. “Hey! Takes one to know one!” She turned to see she was arguing with some sort of blue fog. “Oh…”
“Hah!” Discord said victoriously. A cleaning shammy suddenly appeared out of thin air and rubbed over the haze, restoring Discord to his usual, or rather, unusual distinct self. “Your move, you blue blob!”
Sonata suddenly let out a gasp. “Uncle Dissy!”
“Uncle Dissy?” Pinkie and Flash said simultaneously as they exchanged glances.
Discord stared at Sonata through his glasses. “Hold, on. I can’t see anything with my glasses!” Discord carefully took the glasses off his face with his lion’s paw and eagle talon, then quickly pressed claws against the lenses, shattering them. He put the glasses back on his face. “Much better!” His eyes went wide as a smile spread across his face. “Sonata Dusk, as I live and… oh… what is that thing organic creatures do to oxygenate their red blood cells?”
Flash raised an eyebrow. “Breathe?”
“Yes! That’s it!” Discord exclaimed as he took in a large breath and then let it out. “Oh, that never gets old!” He held his arms open wide. “Come her, Sonata! Give your uncle a big hug with your flipper legs!”
Letting out a giddy squee of delight, Sonata careened through the air into Discord’s waiting arms before the two wrapped appendages around each other and shared an embrace.
“Awwww,” Pinkie uttered. “Still not sure who or what that is, but isn’t that adorable?”
Flash regarded what he was seeing with a fright-filled look. “Somehow I feel like someone is tapdancing on everypony’s graves all at once…”
Aria squinted as she rocked her head one way then the other. She pointed a forehoof. “Okay so, uh… Which ones were you again?”
A series of groans escaped the two lines of ponies.
“Oh my gosh!” A Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she hovered in the air above her line of friends. She motioned down with her forelegs. “We’re the ponies from Equestria.” She motioned to the other set of ponies. “They’re the ponies from earth! How is this hard?!” she barked, throwing her hooves into the air.
Standing next to Aria, Adagio rolled her eyes. “Just the part where we have two sets of ponies who look exactly the same!” She shook her head. “I mean, even if you have trouble telling your friends apart, you all seem most interested in talking to your other selves, not that I can blame you, so as long as you’re not stupid enough to mistake a mirror for the other one of yourselves, you’re good.”
Standing in front of a full-length mirror with a gold trim, Pinkie turned and sneered at Adagio. “Thanks a lot, dream wrecker.”
Equestria’s Rainbow Dash seemed to consider this for a moment. “I guess it could get confusing if we try to talk to the other dimension uses that aren’t exactly uses. Should we get nametags or something?”
“Hey, yeah!” earth’s Rainbow Dash agreed.
The other ponies present once again became a chorus of groans.
“What?” the Rainbow Dash’s asked in unison.
“Rainbow, dear...? Or Rainbows, dears, I suppose I should say...” Equestria’s Rarity piped up. “Each pair has the same name.”
“Oh… hehe…” Rainbow replied with a sheepish grin as she rubbed the back of her head.
“Fine then,” Adagio piped up. “Name tags that also state which of you is an Equestrian pony and which ones are Earth ponies.”
Equestria’s Applejack raised a forehoof. “Ah object to that on account of me actually being an earth pony. Ah mean, that’s a bit insensitive.” Applejack turned. “Right, Pinkie?”
Pinkie didn’t respond as she was too busy looking sadly at her reflection of a full-length mirror. She morosely pressed a forehoof against her foreleg and began to sing.
“Sooooooomewhere out there beneath the bright sun
Someone's thinking of me and loving me a bunch...”
“Oh, for goodness sake, Pinkie,” Rarity interjected. “You haven’t even met the other you!”
“Well, no…” Pinkie admitted, turning slightly to glance at Rarity before glancing back at her reflection. “But I’ve met me! And I love me, so…”
Equestria's Applejack continued, "Ah just think we need to make a distinction between earth ponies and the ponies from earth. Is that too much to ask."
"Huh..." Adagio said. "Never would have pegged the the redneck pony to be the most PC of the bunch."
Aria pursed her lips and consider this.
"Hey!" Earth's Applejack protested.
Equestria's Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Ah don't know what that means, but Ah'm pretty sure Ah should be offended right now."
Aria leaned over to Adagio. "She dosen't look PC to me... More console..." She snickered. "Like one Atari sitting in a tv cabinet under an ancient TV."
Adagio's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"
"Hey, you're the one who that she was a PC gamer."
"...PC means 'politically correct', you dolt!"
"Oh," Aria replied. Her eyes narrowed. "Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?"
Adagio threw a foreleg up in the air. "Sorry! I momentarily forgot you were a moron!"
"Oh yeah?!" Aria replied. "Well...uh... YOU...! Are the one...who is a moron..." Aria frowned heavily.
Adagio shook her head. "Wow. That was actully worse than Sonata."
Aria grimaced. "Oh God, it's happening! Without her around the stupid needs someone to possess."
Adagio frowned. "I'd point out how ridiculous that sounds, but somehow I feel that only helps prove your point."
Earth’s Fluttershy broke off from her line and trotted over to her counterpart who had slowly made her way back under the table as she tossed nervously glances at the two Dazzlings. The formerly butter-colored human leaned her head down. “Erm, I’m sorry to interrupt your cowering in fear. I mean, I probably would ask to join you, but I’m really excited about this so…”
Equestria’s Fluttershy mumbled out a squeaky reply.
“Oh, good!” Earth’s Fluttershy said. “Well, then I was wondering what you do here in Equestria?”
Fluttershy replied with more nearly inaudible mumbling.
“Goodness… You get to be a flying pony and raise animals?!” She began to giddily dance in place on her four hooves. “Oh, I’m so jealous!”
Meanwhile, Equestria’s Rainbow Dash hovered over to her Earth counterpart. “So, uh… is that a hard ‘no’ on making out with me?”
Earth’s Applejack and Rarity let out sounds of disgust.
“Ah’m gonna go back to talkin’ to, uh, myself,” Applejack declared as she trotted off.
“Oh my, yes,” Rarity agreed as she turned up her nose. “At least someone else here has some grace and dignity! ” she declared as she trotted a few steps, tripped, and fell flat on her face.
Both Rainbow Dash’s snickered to themselves as earth’s Rarity slowly got back up on her hooves and trotted off, scowling with puffed-out cheeks that had turned slightly pink.
Earth’s Rainbow Dash turned towards the Equestrian version of herself. “Uh… Look. I mean, I get it. Believe me, if things were reversed, I’d totally be trying to play suck-face with you, but uh… I’m not really into horses.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Not yet you aren’t!” she said with a wink.
“Uh… I’m a girl, so…” Rainbow Dash paused and felt around between her back legs with a forehoof. “Yeah… Still a girl here, so how would that even—”
Wry smile on her face, Rainbow Dash almost buried her muzzle in her earth counterpart’s ear and began to whisper.
Earth Rainbow Dash’s cheeks began to burn crimson. “Oh…”
Aria groaned. “Great… Now they all moved and I can’t tell which pony is which anymore!”
Adagio tapped a forehoof against her chin as she looked over the group. “How about ‘shirts vs. skins’?”
Aria raised an eyebrow. “How the heck would that even work?” she asked as she motioned towards the ponies. “They’re not even wearing clothes.”
“We can shave the hair off the earth half!” Adagio suggested.
Aria glanced at the ponies then towards Adagio. “Then we would have four ponies that would be hard to tell the difference between!” Aria rolled her eyes. “And you like to call yourself the smart one…” she uttered.
“I want to see some skin! Don’t blow this for me!”
“Adagio, they’re ponies I mean…” Aria’s face contorted in confusion. “Would that even be ‘hot’ for you?”
Adagio shrugged. “We won’t know until we try it.”
“What are you hoping to see?!” Aria exclaimed. She patted her chest with a forehoof. “I mean… It’s not like they have boobs right out in the open anyway…” Aria’s face tightened as she began to pat her body with her foreleg. “I mean… I think they’re low-GHA!” Aria suddenly doubled over and fell to the ground.
The ponies suddenly gathered around Aria in concern, the ones from Earth half-stumbling over or wobbling in the air in the cases of the pegasi.
“Goodness, are you alright?” Equestria’s Fluttershy inquired, apparently finding the courage to leave her hiding spot in the face of Aria’s potential injury.
“No!” Aria exclaimed. “I jabbed myself in a crotch-boob with one of my fins!”
A series of snickers rippled through most the ponies and Adagio with both Fluttershy’s simply looking on in concern.
‘Pomff!’
With a magenta flash of light followed quickly by a turquoise flash, Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer repapered.
“Hey, girls,” Twilight greeted. “We figured out where earth’s Pinkie and Sonata are, so we need to—”
“What the heck is going on here?!” Sunset shouted as she looked at the fallen Aria and the group of ponies surrounding her.
Adagio smirked. “Aria injured herself as she felt herself up... or down, rather.”
Aria grit her teeth and pointed a forehoof at Adagio. “Adagio wanted to shave the Earth ponies so she could tell everyone apart!”
One of the Applejacks considered this for a moment. "Ya mean, 'ponies from earth!'" She shook her head. "See, that's why y'all should be specific."
The other Applejack gave her counterpart a sour look. "That's what upsets you about the statement?!"
Equestria's Applejack shrugged. "Sorry sugarcube, Ah'm not really in the race regarding y'all getting shaved..."
Sunset merely glowered at both Adagio and Aria. “You two disgust me.”
Adagio just shrugged. “At least we’re doing something right.”
Sunset raised a forehoof to her forehead and let out a breathy, prolonged sigh that eventually shifted into something of a groan, a sound that might not be too dissimilar from a soul trying to escape one’s body. Shaking her head, she began to trot away. “Twilight, maybe you should handle things for a bit. I’m not sure I can even even with these two right now.”
“Uh, sure…” Twilight looked between Aria, who was still on the ground rubbing her injured tender area lightly, and Adagio, who was giving Twilight one of her smiles that was doing a good job of convincing Twilight that the head-Dazzling was up to something, though Twilight was starting to come to understand that was simply Adagio’s default smile… However, she was not yet ready to rule out the half-pony half-sea creature standing before her was simply not always up to something.
“Hello, Princess,” Adagio greeted as lips pulled back further into a full icepick smile. “Long time no see.”
“Uh, not really?” Twilight replied.
Adagio suddenly put on a chilly frown and glared icicles at Twilight. “Ruin any lives lately with giant, musically summoned rainbows?”
“Uh… No?” Twilight replied.
“Oh, so it was just us then,” Adagio growled out in a tone so cold it felt like the ambient room temperature suddenly dropped.
“You guys were trying to take over the school!” a Rainbow Dash insisted, one that seemed to be hovering into a wall or window here or there and pushing off only to hover into the next solid object. “We had to do something!”
“Oh, so you killed us?!” Aria exclaimed.
Confusion crept its way onto Twilight’s face then spread across the room like an airborne disease with an incredibly fast incubation time.
“Uh, you’re both clearly alive, sugarcube,” an Applejack commented.
Pinkie swallowed. “Unless they’re both ga-ga-ghosts!” With that, Pinkie and both Fluttershys suddenly made a mad dash and huddled together behind the two Applejacks who regarded their flanks being used as barriers with wrinkled, unamused expressions.
“… Okay… Just… What?” Sunset uttered.
Adagio nodded. “I’m afraid I have to agree with Sunset here, Aria.”
Adagio’s lips pursed slightly and she turned towards Twilight. “Okay… Yeah. I’m actually WILDLY more angry about this than I was a moment ago!” Adagio announced as she craned her neck upwards as if she was attempting to look at her chest.
“... The heck are you trying to do?” Sunset asked.
With what seemed like great effort, Adagio balanced her massive pile of curls on her head as she bent down and raised a forehoof. “I’m trying to look at my boobs!” she announced. “It’s a lot harder in this form, but they’re both the biggest casualties in this newfound mortality!”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “They’re not that big…” she uttered.
“Well not in this form!” Adagio said. “I… Okay… I’ll grant they weren’t going to set any records back on earth, either, but they were… you know… perky!” Adagio declared an insistent tone. “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, and it’s a pity that my little puppies are someday going to be lost to the ravages of time!”
Sunset let out a massive sigh. “For the record, I’m learning way more about you than I cared to.”
Adagio looked back up at Twilight. “The point is, you, princess, are very much responsible for our lives being irreversibly changed!”
“Boo! Twilight Sparkle! Boo!” Aria cried out.
Twilight’s face tightened. “You didn’t give us any other choice!”
Adagio’s eyes narrowed. “I see. To stop us, your only recourse was to take away our magic and immortally, thus dooming us to an eventual death only after years of languishing without our magic!”
Twilight sighed. “Look, it was a magical prismatic alicorn that fires corrective rainbow beams! I don’t know what the beams are going to do except for ‘save the world from magical megalomaniacs’!”
Adagio continued to glower at Twilight with a look of enraged indignation. “Oh, so you and your friends just fire these rainbow beams at beings you deem ‘magical megalomaniacs’?!” Adagio leveled an angry forehoof at Twilight. “Who gave you the right?!” she growled out.
“Uh… The Elements of Harmony?”
Adagio and Aria’s faces tightened. “The what now?” Aria asked.
“Er, they’re magical stones that bestow the Element Bearers the ability to fight horrible evils?”
Adagio paused and mulled this over a bit. “Via rainbow beams.”
“Er, yes,” Twilight answered. “The powers they bestow do seem to be exclusively ‘rainbow beam’ based.”
“Okay… so because some magical stones chose you and your friends, that makes it okay for you to decide the fates of others?!”
“Yeah! You tell ‘em, Adagio!” Aria cheered. “Down with the oligarchy!”
Twilight let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t choose to be an element bearer!”
Adagio rolled her yes. “Right. I bet being a beloved defender of Equestria is such a burden, Ms. judge, jury, and executioner!”
“Take her down a peg!” Aria continued.
Adagio shook her head and leveled a foreleg at Twilight. “Face it, you and your friends revel in the attention this brings you!”
“Take her down all the pegs!”Aria shouted.
“… No?” Twilight replied “It’s not like saving the world gets us much attention. In fact, most everypony seems to forget we save the planet almost as soon as we’ve finished doing it.”
“… What, seriously?” Adagio replied in disbelief. She looked across the group of ponies present where about half nodded their heads and uttered words of agreement. She turned back towards Twilight. “You guys don’t get hounded by ponies wherever you go for defending the world?”
Twilight shook her head in a definite ‘no’.
One of the Raritys present raised a forehoof. “I once lied that I knew the Wonderbolts’ trainer to endear me to a group of upper-crusters… This was I after I helped save the world twice!”
Several of the ponies let out sounds letting Rarity know they disapproved of this.
“Rarity, how could ya?!” an Applejack exclaimed.
“I know, right?!” One of the Rainbow Dash’s exclaimed. “How low do you have to be to use the Wonderbolts to lie to get in with a buncha rich ponies?”
The accused Rarity turned towards the Rainbow Dash that had just spoken. “You where the fictitious trainer I knew.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes seemed to fill with stars. “… On the other hoof, maybe it’s unfair for us to judge Rarity! I mean… At least she came up with an awesome lie.”
“Girls!” Twilight chastised. “I think we’re overlooking the important issue here!”
“Right!” Adagio agreed. “How is it you’ve all saved the world twice and you haven’t been swamped in riches and marketing deals?!”
“That’s not—” Twilight cut herself off with a growl of frustration.
“I know, right?!” Aria agreed as she trotted up towards Adagio and Twilight. “I mean… if I saved the world I’d at least want to meet the president! Check that box off my bucket list.”
Adagio raised an eyebrow. “You, Aria Blaze, hope to someday meet the president?”
Aria nodded. “I hope to someday publicly flip off the Prez or maybe a Queen or King?” She shrugged. “Ya know… some world leader or something…”
“Of course,” Adagio replied as she shook her head. She turned so hard back towards Twilight that her mound of curls shifted and she almost lost balance but spread her hooves to keep upright. “Why aren’t you upset about this?!”
“I’m a little upset,” one of the Raritys chimed in.
“And I’m upset for you, darling!” the other Rarity added.
The first Rarity smiled at the other one. “You know… that makes it all worth it.”
The other Rarity paused for a moment, staring at the first. Soon both broke into a shared fit of laughter that turned into bitter, bitter tears.
The other ponies watched the display with marked concern.
Adagio motioned to the Raritys. “See, that’s the proper reaction!”
“You know, I’m quite satisfied with the feeling I get when I save the planet,” Twilight countered.
Adagio made a disgusted sound as if she had just tasted something foul. “Ugh… Spoken like a true goody, goody…”
A few pony lengths away, Sunset flashed Adagio an unamused expression. “I thought the point you were leading up to was that Twilight, myself, and our friends have no moral authority to pass judgment on the beings that get ‘rainbow beamed’.”
“Oh, right…” Adagio glared at Twilight. “Uh… Uh… Magical stones bestowing their rainbow powers onto others is no way to determine judicial rights!”
“Uh, yeah!” Aria exclaimed as she attempted recalibrating herself to jeering on Twilight. “Something about pegs!”
Twilight frowned heavily as an expression of introspection came over her.
Adagio grinned. “I mean, if I walked around claiming some magical power stones were what gave me the right to do whatever I wanted, I’d be arrested, and jailed in some filthy, and probably un-sexy cell somewhere!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “... I’m not certain why you felt the need to specify that the jail cell was un-sexy…”
“Uh, yeah… Boo! And stuff…” Aria added, much to Twilight’s chagrin that poured forth like cherries on a conveyor belt.
One of the Applejacks spoke up. “Ya know, it kinda depends on if the stone affected your personality or not.”
“... Excuse me?” Adagio replied as she glanced over at Applejack.
“Yeah, we had a couple run-ins with a unicorn that was mad at Twilight. Second time she came to town she was wearing an amulet that made her super powerful and just kinda took over…”
Adagio raised an eyebrow. “And you let her?”
“AJ just said she was super powerful!” Rainbow Dash reiterated. “So yeah… She took over until Twilight got her to remove the amulet!”
Pinkie took a moment from cowering with the Fluttershys to run a forehoof across her chin. “Equestria kinda has a lot of mystical magical mineral-based mayhem if ya think about it.”
“Okay! See!” Adagio exclaimed. “You’re all so used to magical stones dictating authority you’ve internalized it!” She shook your head. “I just want you all to consider that maybe you’re terrible judges of character and power-crazy punishment mongers!”
“Yeah!” Aria chimed in. “You’re all the worst!”
“Okay, I’m finally more mad than befuddled!” Sunset’s voice once again cut into the conversation as she trotted back up next to Twilight and scowled at Adagio. “So, what did give you the right to do whatever it is you wanted?”
Adagio paused for a moment then turned towards Sunset. “Well, the fact that we’re a superior species with superior powers, of course.”
“Right… D’uh!” Aria chimed in.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Okay… just pushing past the obvious speciesism there, your powers were fueled by what, exactly?”
“Why our gems of cou… Oh…” Adagio uttered as an unamused expression dripped over her face like black oil drenching her previous look of smug superiority. “Oh, I see what you’re doing…”
Sunset’s smile suddenly went full demonic. “And…?”
“And I don’t have a response just yet,” Adagio growled out through grit teeth.
Twilight shot Sunset a small smile. “Thanks for coming to my rescue… again,” she whispered.
Sunset just nodded and extended a forehoof. “Hey, no worries. I gotchu, boo.”
Giggling, Twilight extended her own forehoof and lightly tapped Sunset’s forehoof.
“… She is good,” Aria uttered as she looked at Sunset.
Adagio turned and glared at Aria. “Whose side are you on?!”
“What?!” Aria protested. “I’m just saying… she played you pretty well.”
“She barely spoke!” Aria crowed.
Aria smirked. “Are you trying to convince me you played yourself? ‘Cause it’s working.”
Adagio’s lips suddenly pulled up into an angry sneer and she raised a forehoof up as if she was going to Aria. Aria stared up at the hoof and recoiled for a second before her expression hardened.
“You don’t have magic anymore,” Aria pointed out as she glared at Adagio. “So yeah… Go on… Hit me! See what happens!”
Adagio brought her hoof across Aria’s face with a loud ‘smack!’
Momentarily surprised as she recoiled from the blow, Aria turned with a glare overfilled with daggers that she pointed in an Adagio Dazzle direction.
Adagio simply glared back. “Magic or no, I’m still your leader and you WILL treat me as su- AH!”
Without warning, Aria suddenly leaped atop of Adagio, taking the fluff-maned aquatic-pony to the ground as Aria did her best to swat and bite at Adagio past her fluffy mane. “YEAH! HOW’S BEING LEADER HELPING YOU NOW, HUH?!” Aria shouted before spitting out some of the fluff in her mouth. “Puta- Puta-HOW’S THAT WORKIN’ OUT FOR YA?!”
Growling, Adagio attempted to spin around to fight back. Soon Adagio and Aria were a mess of hooves ineffectually swatting at one another in a tangle of mane hair.
“Should we….” Twilight trailed off and motioned to the two sirens. Sunset shook their head. “I think they both have a little too much energy… Let them flail around for a bit to work it out…”
“Okay but…” Twilight sighed. “Who do you think is going to have to untangle them?”
Sunset frowned. A frown that slowly turned into a thoughtful look. Finally, she smiled. “Oh, Rarity~!” she warbled.
“Yes, darling?” both Raritys asked in nearly perfect stereo.
“You like fixing up hair, right?” Sunset asked.
“Of course!” The Raritys replied with smiles. Smiles that turned contemplative as they focused their attention on Adagio and Aria’s roughhousing. Finally, they both frowned before rushing over to the pair.
Sunset motioned to the melee as both Raritys attempted to get the two Dazzlings to cease fighting. “See! Now somepony, not us, is not only on the hook to untangle them but they’re also actively trying to stop the fight!”
Twilight gave Sunset an unsure look. “That seems kinda... under-hoofed.”
Sunset smirked. “I like to think of it as empowering others to put what they’re best at to good use!”
“Applejack!” both Raritys cried as they stared at the still struggling Adagio and Aria in despair. “Help!”
With an annoyed grunt, both apple mares trudged over to the fight.
Sunset’s smile grew. “See! It’s even helping others show off their talents!”
Twilight’s expression softened slightly into something reminiscent of rather concerned awe. “I can see how you took over a high school in a few years without the help of magic.”
“Uh… Thanks… I think…” Sunset replied. She glanced over at the spot the Applejacks had recently vacated where both Fluttershys were still huddling in fear along with Pinkie, the trio forming a sort of quivering ball feathers and pink fluff.
“Uh… You know Aria and Adagio aren’t really ghosts, right?” Sunset called out.
“Oh, we know…” one of the Fluttershys replied, her hooves over her eyes. “We just don’t like fighting!”
Pinkie perked her head up and smiled at Sunset. “And if I stay with the Fluttershys I don’t feel as left out! I mean… it’s probably as close to hanging out with myself as I’m going to get at the moment.”
Twilight raised a slightly perplexed eyebrow.
“Huh…” Sunset quipped. “I would think Rainbow Dash is more your speed.”
“Hah! As if!” one of the Rainbow Dashes replied as she hovered in the air, her counterpart obviously, a bit more fixated on trying to get the hang of her wings. “Pinkie couldn’t keep up with me if I had a wing tied behind my back.”
“Except for that time I did!” Pinkie replied.
“Yeah… Well…” Rainbow Dash frowned heavily at Pinkie. “Shut up.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “I think that expression just went over your heads.”
“And I think my super meta-reference went over yours!” Pinkie replied with a smirk.
Sunset stared at Pinkie for a moment, her lips pursing in annoyance. She turned towards Twilight. “So your Pinkie does that too?”
“Oh. That smug grin where it seems like she knows something that you don’t because if she told you, it would totally destroy your worldview?” Twilight smiled. “Yeah… Every now and again.”
Sunset let out a laugh. “Good. I thought it was just mine.”
“Oh, come on!” Pinkie protested. “I have to have some fun around you smarty pants!”
Sunset gave Pinkie a sheepish grin. “But it’s that smile!” she protested. “It’s annoying and unnerving all at once and Fluttershy, why are you staring at me?!” Sunset scrunched up her face and began to tap at her muzzle with a forehoof. “Is there something on my face…” she frowned slightly. “Also, how do I figure that out? I kinda forgot how to pony, here…”
“Oh, uh, er…” The turquoise eyes of the Fluttershy who didn’t have them covered suddenly focused her irises onto Sunset. “Uh, actually I was looking at Spike behind you,” she said as she pointed past Sunset while murmuring “So majestic…” to herself.
Sunset and Twilight turned towards the small purple dragon who was lounging on an outdoor folding chair and snacking on a bucket of popcorn as he watched the Raritys and Applejacks attempt to separate limbs and hair from Adagio and Aria.
Upon hearing his name, Spike turned. “‘Sup?”
“Popcorn!” Pinkie shrieked excitedly as she dove towards Spike who titled the bucket towards her.
“Spike!” Twilight began in chastising tone. “What have I told you about eating popcorn while watching ponies in the midst of a crisis?”
“I’m sharing!” Spike insisted as Pinkie shoveled so much popcorn into her mouth that her cheeks puffed out.
“That’s not the issue!” Twilight said. “You should be helping!”
Spike narrowed his eyes slightly. “Oh, like you two magical ponies helped me down the stairs?”
Sunset’s expression turned slightly apologetic, however it was clear that Twilight was going to have none of Spike’s back-talk. “Two wrongs don’t make a right!” Twilight countered.
“Well, it’s not like you two are doing anything to help.”
“I’m delegating!” Sunset insisted. “Twilight’s going to have to learn this if she’s going to become a good leader!”
Twilight frowned slightly. “Are you sure? I mean… Spike has a point. We both have magic and Spike is the only one of us with movable digits… I’m sure that would help.”
“Trust me, Twilight,” Sunset said with a smirk as she placed a forehoof on one of Twilight’s shoulders. “If I learned anything from Celestia, it’s the art of getting other ponies to deal with stuff you don’t want to.”
“Uh… Well…” Twilight seemed to consider this. “If Celestia would think it’s a good idea…”
Spike smirked at Sunset and Twilight. “So, did you two delegate some ponies to go get Pinkie and Sonata?”
Sunset and Twilight paused for a moment as realization struck them at the same time much like their own forehooves hit their foreheads in unison.
“Now let’s get a look at you!” Discord said as untangled himself from Sonata’s embrace. He craned his head to the left, right, and then a slight 180 degrees as he peered up at Sonata’s neck. “Oh, now where’s that pretty red gem of yours?”
Sonata puffed out her lower lip and dropped her eyelids slightly. “Some mean girls called Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle broke it with by creating a giant alicorn rainbow thing with their dumb friends and even dumber song about friendship!”
“Heeey!” Pinkie protested. “You three were trying to suck away our magic and take over Canterlot High!”
“Was not!” Sonata replied.
“Was too!” Pinkie insisted.
“Was not times 10!”
“Was too times 50!”
“Was not times 100!”
“Was not times infinity!” Sonata said with a smug grin.
“Was too times infinity plus one!” Pinkie said.
Sonata frowned heavily for a moment before Discord something into her ear. Smiling, Sonata countered with “Was not times infinity plus two!”
Pinkie grit her teeth. “Oh yeah?! Well was too times infi—”
Watching the pair go back and forth with a look of increasingly detached interest, Flash Sentry cleared his throat. “Uh, I don’t think this is getting anypony anywhere.”
Discord let out a heavy sigh. “Well, the sound of bickering was going to get me to a finished letter for Fluttershy…”
Pinkie gave Sonata a somewhat hurt look. “Look, Sonata… Uh… I am having a lot of fun exploring Equestria with you.”
Sonata gathered Pinkie into a hug so tight that Pinkie made a seeking noise. “Aw, thanks!” Sonata said. “I’m having fun too!”
“Oof…” Pinkie slipped out from Sonata’s grasp and took a few steps back, “But, you did try to suck out our magic and take over the school! You even mind-controlled all the students and teachers and stuff!”
Sonata grinned. “So that means we successfully took over the school. You said we were trying to take it over.”
Pinkie mulled this over briefly. “Oh, yeah…” she replied.
Sonata giggled. “See, we were trying to take over the world! Who’d want to just take over a stupid high school and all the dumb kids who go to school there?”
Pinkie puffed out her lip as her brow creased. “Okay… but you just kinda called me dumb… twice!”
Sonata gasped. “Oh no! You’re right!” She hung her head shamefully. “I’ve become everything I’ve ever hated!” Sonata sniffled. “The Muppets would be so ashamed… I’m sorry, Pinkie.” Sonata gave Pinkie a pleading look. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Pinkie grinned. “You were forgiven at ‘Muppets!’” With that the pink pony and light blue sea monster shared a big hug.
Discord let out an uproarious belly laugh. “Well I see, apart from your gem, you haven’t changed one bit my dear niece.” He stroked his beard a few times. “Still, do you mean the Sunset Shimmer? Orange coat?” Discord’s fur turned orange. “Red-and-yellow flank stamp?” An as-described mark appeared on Discord’s behind that he pointed at. “Plate of bacon for hair?” Discord finished as a sizzling plate full of bacon appeared atop his head, his horns sticking out of the pile.
Pinkie and Sonata exchanged a quick glance. Pinkie spoke up, “Well, we’ve never seen Sunset as a pony, but she wears that sun on her clothes all the time and her hair certainly looks like bacon.”
“Lovely,” Discord replied as he snapped his eagle talon and returned to his ‘normal’ state. “Oh, she and Celestia used to have the most exquisite arguments!” He frowned slightly. “If only Celestia would lose her head enough to have them closer to me.” Discord frowned. “Still, if Twilight and Sunset have done you wrong, I’ll have to give them both a piece of my mind!”
“Yay!” Sonata exclaimed as she clapped her hooves together. “That’ll show ‘em!”
Pinkie frowned slightly. “But Twilight and Sunset are my friends!” she wailed.
Discord narrowed his eyes at Pinkie. “Well you should have thought of that before they decided to break the jewels of my darling fish-nieces!”
“But I did think about that before they decided to do that!” Pinkie replied. “I was friends with them before that happened!”
“Oh,” Discord stroke his beard and seemed to ponder this a moment. “Yes, I suppose that makes sense…” He pointed an accusing finger at Pinkie. “Well you should think about it now,after they’ve decided to break the jewels of my darling fish-nieces!”
“Er…” Pinkie rubbed the back of her head.
“Uh, Uncle Dissy? Pinkie kind of helped Twilight and Sunset! She was one of the dumb friends who-I-shouldn’t-have-called-dumb-and-had-to-say-I-was-sorry-for-calling-dumb.”
“Oh, really,” Discord growled at Pinkie.
Pinkie gulped as Flash suddenly stood in front of Pinkie and gave Discord a stern look.
Discord couldn’t help but smirk at the gesture. A smirk that quickly grew into a smile as he turned back to face Sonata. “And you’ve befriended her! Oh Sonata, what a Saint you are!” He said ad as placed his eagle talon atop of Sonata’s head and attempted to ruffle her fin, an act that was successful despite all known laws of physics and fins. A single tear rolled from Discord’s left eye and he whipped it away with lion’s paw. “Maybe that Twilight could learn a thing or three about friendship from you, hmmm?”
Sonata giggled as her fin sprung back into place.
“Uh…” Pinkie glanced up from behind Flash. “Again! Sonata and her friends had taken over the school and were going to take over the world! I mean… stopping them was the right thing to do!”
Flash nodded in agreement. “That sounds reasonable.”
“Well of course you’d agree!” Discord exclaimed. “Word in the Hallway is you’ve got a crush on Twilight Sparkle!”
Flash frowned. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep that to yourself.”
Discord chuckled. “It’ll just be between us four and the suits of armor.”
“…I’d also appreciate it if the suits of armor could keep it to themselves.”
Discord scoffed. “Well, you’re no fun… but suit yourself!” He grinned. “Or perhaps I can do it for you!” Discord said as he snapped his fingers.
A bright flash suddenly encompassed Flash and he was suddenly… still wearing a suit of armor, but with a white plume instead of a blue one. Flash shifted uncomfortably in his armor as the helmet slipped slightly and the back plate shifted to one side. “Did you… Did you just swap out my armor?”
Discord sighed. “Yes… I was trying to execute a sight gag, but I momentarily forgot you were already suited-up as it were… Still…” He turned towards Pinkie as Flash took off his helmet, grumbling to himself the entire time. “Ms. Pie,” Discord began, “perhaps now would be a good time to reflect upon the company you keep.”
“But I like my friends!” Pinkie moaned. “We spent too long being mad at each other as it was, and just now managed to make our band fun again!”
Discord tut-tutted and shook his head. “Sounds like a no-good band of ruffians if ever there were any!”
Pinkie let out a high pitched “Grrr!” and focused angry sky-blue eyes on Discord. “We’re like… anti-ruffians! Maybe even superheroes!”
“Yes, yes,” Discord said dismissively. “So much like the villains to insist they’re doing the right thing.” He turned towards Sonata. “I’m sorry, Sonata dear. I’m afraid your friend Pinkie has a bad case of ‘hanging out with the wrong crowd!”
“Oh no!” Sonata cried as she brought her forehooves up to her mouth. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Just make sure you don’t fall into the same crowd as her,” Discord said. “Maybe you should find your fellow Dazzlings!”
Pinkie puffed out her lower lip in a pout.
“But Adagio and Aria were being all mean and shouty!” Sonata replied. “Pinkie was being nice to me.”
“Well… That does sound like Aria and Adagio…” Discord glared accusingly at Pinkie. “Still, it was all part of a devious ploy of our pretending pink pony, I’m sure!”
Sonata gave Pinkie a scrutinizing look. “She looks pretty pink to me!”
Pinkie giggled. “Thanks Sonata! You’re a lovely shade of blue yourself!”
“Why, thank you!” Sonata replied as the two began to share a few giggles.
Discord let out a huff of annoyance.
Flash chuckled as he squeezed himself out of the suit of armor Discord had replaced with the set he was wearing. “Problem?” he asked.
Discord stroked his beard lightly. “I suppose I should be happy there’s at least one pony who can keep me on my toes…” he quipped as several fat, large, digits suddenly sprouted from his dragon and cloven foot.
“Uh… right…” Flash said as he gave Discord’s new feet apogees a frightful look.
Discord reached down and pulled off his new ‘feet’ as if they were shoes, revealing his old feet underneath. “Still…” He returned his attention to Pinkie as he tossed his shoes in a random direction to the sound of a suit of armor clattering to the ground.
“Hey!” Flash protested.“I’m supposed to be guarding this place,” he uttered as he trotted over to the fallen armor. “It’s going to look bad if I leave a bunch of armor lying around.”
Discord merely refocused his attention on Pinkie. “You don’t expect me to believe you hopped dimensions with Sonata and ended up in the castle out of pure happenstance, do you?”
“Well…” Pinkie thought for a moment. “‘Pure happenstance’ explains most of what happens to me.”
Discord’s features twisted in annoyance into something rather unrecognizable as a normal expression or face. He placed a thumb into a random facial crease where his forehead once was before a blowing sound was heard. Discord’s head, though turned upside-down, returned to, it’s not-so-much-normal-as, recognizable shape before Discord grabbed the sides of his head and roughly twisted it back to the ‘right’ way up with a sickening ‘crack’! “Surely, you have some reason for ending up in Equestria together.”
“Uncle Dissy?”
“Oh yes, Sonata my most adorable floating aquatic based pony niece?”
“Her name is Pinkie, not Shirley!”
Discord let out a defeated groan as Flash let out a laugh that Pinkie joined in on.
“See! Sonata’s a lot of fun!” Pinkie insisted. “No ulterior motives here!”
Discord leaned forward and glared at Pinkie. “Are you sure you’re not hanging out with Sonata because there’s something you want from her?”
Pinkie backed up slightly and seemed to think about this. “Er, well…”
“Ah-HAH!” Discord exclaimed, leveling an accusatory index finger at Pinkie. “So you do want something from Sonata!”
“Is that true?!” Sonata cried. “You’re only hanging out with me because you want something?”
“Uh… erm…”
“Come on! Out with it!” Discord cried as he suddenly put on a long, padded and chrome human skulls studded black coat with a red trim. “Confess, heretic!” he added as he pulled a wide-brimmed black hat with a large chrome human skull in the center over his horns.
Pinkie swallowed as hear sky-blue eyes began to fill with tears before water sprung forth like two spigots as she threw back her head and wailed. “It’s true! I want Sonata to help me with our history report!”
Flash gingerly placed the suit of armor he was wearing on the floor. “Uh… There, there?” he said in an unsure tone as he pat Pinkie on the back. “That honestly doesn’t sound that bad…”
Sonata gasped. “I knew it!” she exclaimed.
“There, you see!” Discord said. “… Wait… ‘History Report’, you say?” Discord pulled off coat and hat with one swift motion, balled them up, and tossed the heavy sphere of clothing down the hall to the sound of another suit of armor falling to the ground.
“Really?!” Flash protested as he walked towards the fallen suit.
“I DO say!” Pinkie said in a still frantic tone. “But I should have told Sonata sooner!” Pinkie stopped crying and thought for a moment. “In fact… I did tell Sonata, sooner… The history report is the whole reason we’re here!”
Sonata nodded. “Right! That’s why I said ‘I knew it’!”
“Well, I could help write your history report!” Discord said with a grin. “Even give it some zing with real equestrian spice!”
Pinkie grinned. “That sounds good!”
Discord nodded. “The kind of spice that makes one’s eyes water and their body perspire before they burst into actual flames!” he said as his head suddenly caught fire.
“… Starting to sound less good,” Pinkie said.
Discord continued, pointing an eagle talon at his head that sprayed water, dousing his head flames. “Oh, but when would I get to writing my letter to Fluttershy?!” Discord wondered out loud as he snapped his eagle talon. A scroll and a Quill suddenly appeared in a bright flash. Discord began to furiously write on the paper, mumbling to himself. “Just met up with my old niece, for…” Discord frowned and turned towards Sonata. “Sonata, dear? How do you spell ‘realsies?’”
Sonata thought for a moment. “Er… r-e-a-l-z-e-e-z, I think.”
Pinkie frowned slightly. “The way Discord said the word it clearly was spelled, ‘r-e-a-l-s-i-e-s’.”
Discord pursed his lips slightly as he paused, staring at Pinkie. “You worry me, sometimes… ME! How do you do that?!”
Pinkie simply replied with an unsure shrug.
“Sorry, Pinkie!” Sonata replied as she rubbed her head fins, and glanced at Flash as he pulled a suit of armor with a blue-plumed helmet off a nearby rack. “Guess I’m not a great speller!”
Pinkie grinned sheepishly. “Guess I can do the writing for our report…”
“Heh… Yeah…” Sonata replied in an apologetic tone. She frowned and turned away from Flash as he put tried on the helmet from the suit he was inspecting. “… What report?”
“…The history report?!” Pinkie replied, disbelief creeping into her voice. “You know, the very reason we’re here? We were just talking about it a few moments ago!”
Discord let go of his quill and paper and turned towards Pinkie and Sonata, both quill and paper seemed to float in place under their own power, the quill continuing to write feverishly away.
“Oh yeah! D’uh!” Sonata replied. She shook her head. “Sorry, I keep forgetting!”
Flash chuckled as he fit himself back into his suit of armor. “Well, that’s too bad! You know what they say about ponies who forget to do their history reports?”
“Uh… I don’t actually,” Sonata replied.
A wide grin spread across Flash’s face as he picked his spear back up from the ground. “They’re doomed to repeat history class!”
Sonata gasped. “Oh, no! That sounds horrible!”
Flash’s smile dropped. “Uh. That was a joke.”
Glaring at Flash, Discord snapped his eagle talon, and the end of Flash’s spear was suddenly swapped out with a shovel head.
Flash frowned and looked at the shovel he was now holding. “What’s this for?”
Discord Scoffed. “It’s so you can bury that poor joke you butchered!”
Inexplicably, Pinkie began laughing. “Hahaha… Took me a moment! Hehehe… Doomed to repeat history… class! Hahaha!”
Discord sighed. “Oh, don’t encourage him, Pinkie! His delivery was so bad it was practically in the wrong country.”
Sonata frowned. “Wait… I don’t get it.”
Flash grinned. “Oh really? Well, you know what they say about ponies who don’t get history jokes?”
Discord’s eyes shot open wide and raised a giant red ‘STOP’ sign and waved it next to Sonata.
“Uh… I don’t?” Sonata said.
Flash’s smile only widened. “They’re doomed to hear them repeated!”
Pinkie’s laughter increased as she collapsed to the floor as Discord let out a long, groan as he began to slump forward so much that his body began to melt into a puddle on the floor.
Sonata pursed her lips slightly. “Er, okay… No… I still don’t understand…”
Flash was laughing now. “Well, that’s okay! You know what they say about—”
“No! Stop!” Discord demanded as he got back to his feet and not melted self and lobbed the stop sign at Flash’s head. It bounced off his helmet with a ‘clang’ causing the pony to recoil slightly before bouncing off, and lightly tapping a suit of armor before the falling flat on the ground.
Flash grimaced slightly as the suit of armor rocked one way then then other before returning to its motionless state.
Flash let out a sigh of relief.
The armor immediately fell off its rack and onto the floor.
“Oh, come on!” Flash exclaimed.
Chuckling, Discord looked over the group. “Listen, this is been an odd mix of fun and horrible, and for that I suppose I should thank you all, but I really must be getting back to writing my letter to Fluttershy!” He shook his head. “It’s not like it’s going to write itself!” he gripped. He glanced at the quill and scroll still in the air. “Or will it…?” He snatched the scroll out of the air and began to read it. “Hello my dear friend Fluttershy, Oh, I have had the most delightful experience meeting my old fishy-niece, Sonata, for realsies. Why I haven’t seen her since help! Help! Discord is forcing me to write such pointless drivel! I don’t want to write boring letters to ponies! I should be used to write novels or poetry! Why such a mundane task is…” Discord sighed heavily and crumpled the scroll, rods in all and casually tossed it over his shoulder. Glaring at the feather quill he snapped his finger and immediately burst into flames. “You’re fired!” he declared.
“Seriously?” Flash replied as he adjusted his helmet. “And you got on my case for bad jokes?” he said as he began picking up the latest suit of armor that had fallen.
“Hehe… Fired! I get it!” Sonata declared as Pinkie joined her in a laugh.
Discord gave Flash a satisfied grin. “There! That’s two to your one, Mr. Sentry! Now then!” Discord once again looked over the two ponies and the siren present. “While I do have this letter to write, perhaps I can help you two learn a little bit about history!” He turned and motioned to be followed down the hall. “And you know what they say… The best way to learn is from experience!”
“You’re the best, Uncle Dissy!” Sonata exclaimed as she began floating behind Discord.
“Huh… I don’t think I get it…” Pinkie said as she trotted behind Sonata. “But I’m eager to find out!”
Flash placed the helmet back on the display and turned to watch the trio leave. “Uh… I’ll just… keep guarding the hallway… Away from the crazy room that also serves as some weird portal to another dimension…” he added. He turned and let out a much-needed sigh of relief. Relief that soon turned to surprise as pulled him downwards. He reached for the suit, but it merely toppled to the ground as Flash soon found himself being dragged in the direction of Discord, Sonata, and Pinkie. Twisting around and brandishing his spear-turned-shovel, Flash let out a groan as he noted an elongated dragon tail with a white furry plume wrapped around one of his hind legs. “Why?!” he cried as he visually followed the tail back to its owner.
“Comedy, my boy!” Discord called back. “The three of us natural-born foils are going to need at least one straight-pony!”
Flash sighed as he let himself be dragged across the hallway. “Lucky me…”
