Episode 215: Silver Spoon's biggest battle, pirates, and timelines
Wha' do you mean you resign from the Moon Pearl's crew?
(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): I'm sorry Rear-Admiral Pipsqueak, I really shouldn't have joined your crew to begin with. I don't belong here. My special place is somewhere else. This is your story, and the story of your ship and your crew, not mine. I have an ocean, ship and crew somewhere else waiting for me, that's my story. I want to get back to it, but first I need to finish writing down yours.)
Uhhhhhhhh . . .
"What she means to say Captain," Moonlight says next to me. "Is that she's already promised to another crew. And it would break the pirate code for her to stay with us, and we can't go breaking the pirate code."
But isn't the code just guidelines? OW! You zapped me!
(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): The code is the law.)
Alright matey. Still, if you ever want to sail with us again, you're welcome. You and your little birdie too! A good pirate ship should always have a good bird on their shoulder.
Peewee lifts up his eye patch and gives me his own salute.
(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): Thank you very much.)
Uh. Thanks for the kiss Miss Dawn. First Mate Moonlight, are you alright?
"Tis…nothing…mon capitan."
(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): And with that, we best be off.)
Moonlight bowed, "Good sailing."
Crew ponies Orange Top, Ruby Pinch, and Dinky Hooves all gave their salute.
"HEY! Where's Crewpony Tootsie Flute?"
"I think she said she was gonna go play with Alula again, Uh, Captain," Crewpony Dinky tells me.
"But I thought she said she'd play with us today. She could at least introduce Alula to the rest of the crew."
Moonlight nodded, "Seems her new friend is making Tootsie a tad forgetful, you should remind her the important of remembering her word next time you see her captain."
"I believe I shall first mate!"
"Son, why don't you try that colt with the beanie for your crew? He looks like he could use a friend just like you did."
"Whao! Dad. I, I tried to, but he never stopped staring at that little box of his."
--
(Dawn's Notes): You enjoyed that bit with the code didn't you?)
(Noon's Notes): I can have fun too....I know that wasn't easy sis.)
(Dawn's Notes): It wasn't...but Dusk is right, this isn't our story, we're supposed to just help it along, not take the spotlight.)
(Noon's Notes): Yeah, thinking about that actually makes me want to go back home.)
(Dawn's Notes): It's funny to hear a place called home we've never been.)
(Noon's Notes): Home is where family is, family is where you belong. And we've got a whole bunch of family waiting for us when our job is done here.)
(Dawn's Notes): Yeah, isn't that right Peewee?)
(Peewee's Notes): Chirp-chirp!)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): Hello Peewee.)
(Noon's Notes): Starlight Angel? That's your surname?)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): It is now.)
(Noon's Notes): I'd say that's pretentious but I know your line of work.)
(Dawn's Notes): Sis?)
(Noon's Notes): Don't worry, I won't let her try anything.)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): Please...stop making it sound like I'm the bad guy.)
(Dawn's Notes):...I...please, can't we just do it again? This time convince the bad dragons to do something else?)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): You can't overwrite your own past actions. It's against the rules of cause and effect. In particular given what you are. Ask the Doctor sometime about what happens if you try.)
(Noon's Notes): End of Pinkie Pie's old world.)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): I don't like doing this, and I hate saying this. But you made an impulsive choice when you saved Peewee, instead of nudging things along, you reached in and FORCED things, you went for a quick-fix solution, and someone else now has to face the consequences. The longer Peewee is alive with you, the more fate notices he's not supposed to be because you gave Razzaroo's journal to Twilight Sparkle that made her ask Celestia for Equestria's unwritten history, which Twilight was able to tell Spike, and so he didn't visit the dragon migration to find himself and save Peewee. But instead of accepting those consequences, you tried to eat your cake and have it too. You swooped in and had to be the hero instead of nudging things another way...I'm...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. Mortis explained to me I couldn't just go back in time and convince my friends to not make the Wish Spell, because that WAS the point where the world changed, and so it had to be when the world changed. Mortal, spirit, concept, we can't escape the consequences of our own actions even if we can't know for sure what they are....I'm sorry. If I don't bring Peewee with me, sooner than later, the Wolf will. And the Wolf won't give you an extension.)
(Dawn's Notes):...He's my friend.)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): And I had to take all of my friends from their friends and grandchildren. Please...I beg you...don't make this harder.)
(Dawn's Notes):...Just for a bit longer, please?)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): Please...just remember this...a story where the character never has to live with the consequences of their actions, where the hand of the author can reach inside and fix everything, may give a sense of power...but is ultimately hollow and empty... Your mother understood this, that's why she didn't brute force happy endings. Next time I see you...Peewee will have to come with me or the wolf...You can't offer him the same protection Cadence did Shining Armor.)
(Dusk's Notes): Can you please go now Starlight?)
(Noon's Notes: Sis'.)
(Starlight Angel's Notes): I'm sorry.)
(Noon's Notes: We can't keep this up forever can we? Peewee doesn't even belong to our pant leg of the afterlife. We messed up.)
(Dawn's Notes):...I'm sorry Peewee.)
+++
"Liza Doolots? Tootsie Flute, how do you get Liza Doolots from Tootsie Flute?" I asked. "I might as well change my name from Alula to Princess Erroria."
"Well, Ponies change their names when they get their cutie mark, so I thought I might as well change it to something exciting," my new unicorn friend said. "And what's wrong with 'Princess Erroria?' You could be a Princess some day I bet!"
"That doesn't look to be in my destiny," I look at the feather on my flank.
"I heard some ponies cutie marks CAN CHANGE if the pony changes a really really big lot."
'Better than the other method,' I thought but didn't say out loud, I didn't want to be rude. But I'll admit, it had been a fun ice-breaker for when I first talked to Tootsie about how I'd also used stickers to get around having a 'generic' feather cutie mark, and that we'd both used the same flower sticker to cove up our flanks. But now it might make Tootsie uncomfortable. It was the same reason I didn't bring up Twist or Truffle around her.
"Maybe," I said, "But Tootsie is a good name. Here she comes. Remember everything I taught you."
"Alright." Tootsie nodded as we both got on different sides of the road.
Silver Spoon started to come down the path after she waved bye-bye to Applebloom and her friends. This was part of her routine. I'd been told in my dreams it was important we talk to Silver Spoon when she wasn't distracted by others, and so could think without them telling her confusing things.
I remembered everything Diamond Tiara had taught me in my dreams. She's taught me what to say and how to say it. Not to hurt ponies of course, but it's really helped with a lot of things, most of them involving Big Sister Cloud Kicker and Miss Cheerilee. And then I taught what to say and how to say it to Tootsie Flute, and it worked for her too. It wasn't like we were teasing anypony.
And Diamond Tiara told me how important it was Silver Spoon either not make a really big mistake that would just make her unhappy later, or help her move on. And I'd taught those things to Tootsie too. Diamond Tiara could be so generous, but all anypony saw was the bully she had to be, not the filly underneath. I'd taught Tootsie about that too, but a lot more carefully, even after being missing since last year, foals still wanted to just remember the bully: except one. She'd be hard though. I know she and Diamond Tiara separate under a bad star. I wonder if that's why she ran away. It can't be because of the card I gave Diamond, right?
Tootsie and I performed as we had practiced.
"Hi Silver Spoon," Tootie said coming out behind her.
Silver Spoon turned her head. "Oh! Hello, Tootsie?"
Tootsie pushed her lips and narrowed her eyes a bit. "We met the royal wedding remember?"
"Oh right sorry." Silver Spoon lowered her eyes a bit.
Remember what Tiara said, no encounter goes according to script, but you can lead things along if you're subtle enough.
With Silver Spoon focused on Tootsie, I came out in front of her, "We're just here to talk Silver Spoon," I said politely.
Silver Spoon turned to see me in front of her, making her wonder when I had shown up.
"Oh. You're the new editor of the Foal Free Press, Alula?"
"I was at Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera."
"Sorry, there were, lots of foals there."
"And I gave Diamond Tiara a card on Hearts and Hooves day."
"I...uh, might have missed that?"
"You were watching, and smiling."
"I . . . forgot that too."
"It's alright, lots of ponies don't notice me." Maybe Mr. Filthy had been right, maybe Featherweight and me do make good friends. I think he likes being a photographer more than a editor, even if Shady Daze REALLY had no plans of going back to working the printing press...but with the new magic papers our sponsor gave us, we really didn't need to worry about that anymore. Featherweight's Aunt May is really nice too. Oh right! Better focus!
"I'm sorry." Silver Spoon apologizing? That means she's being a nice filly, like I wanted Diamond Tiara to be a nice filly, so I guess that's all right. Alright, time to break the ice.
"I'd once teased Dinky when trying to imitate Diamond Tiara, it wasn't very nice, I know, I told her I was sorry. Like those three roller skater foals had to. Like you were imitating Diamond Tiara."
I saw Tootsie narrow her eyes some and I flinched. That I'd teased Dinky one time, the little sister of Tootsie's favorite foal sitter, wasn't something I was proud of. I'd done it exactly one time, and I was sorry, I know that doesn't make it right, but I wish we'd move on. It had been the hardest part when I was making friends with her.
"I wasn't imitating her, I was just doing whatever I was told. If she'd wanted me to be nice to others, I'd have done that too."
"I've never been teased or teased anypony, so I wouldn't know," Tootsie said, making Silver Spoon look at her. Yes, Tootsie isn't related to any of her family, and now everypony knows her Auntie Moth is a changeling, but nopony's ever teased her about it. I think it was because Dinky's mom was so goofy that foals would tease her about being a unicorn and her mom a pegasus.
"Silver Spoon, I'm sure Diamond Tiara is super sorry for everything she said to you before she disappeared," I said, making Silver look at me.
"I've..." Silver Spoon looked unsure, then she swallowed. "I've forgiven her."
"Well that's good to hear!" Tootsie said getting attention on her again. That's it. Keep her going back and forth between us Tootsie, that way she won't muddy the waters for herself.
"But if you want Diamond Tiara to know you've accepted her back when she comes home," I said. "You really need to think about how she'd see things."
"What do you mean?"
"We mean the friends you've made," Tootsie said.
"What about them?"
"When Diamond Tiara left, they were not your friends or her friends," I said.
"But they are now. And I want Diamond to be their friend too!"
"And that's just it," Tootsie set up.
"When Diamond Tiara comes back, what do you think she's going to see? You hanging out with her old enemies."
"She's gonna be hurt," Tootsie added.
"She's going to think you DITCHED HER, that you HAVEN'T forgiven her, and that you went to her enemies just to SPITE her."
Silver Spoon took a trot back, but Tootsie politely pushed her back forward.
"Silver Spoon...what if, when Diamond Tiara finally comes home, and the first thing she sees is you playing with Crusaders? Wearing their cape? What's she going to think? What is she going to feel? What is she going to do? She's might run away again and her dad will never know she came back."
"You don't want to hurt Diamond Tiara do you? You said you didn't like hurting fillies right? You did it just because you were told?"
"Well..." Silver Spoon looked uncomfortable looking at her hooves.
Tootsie put her hoof around her. "Silver, it's okay. You can tell it would be for the best right?"
"What would?"
I said, "I know it's not fun, but maybe you should stop hanging out with Applebloom and the others. That way, when Diamond Tiara comes, you can welcome her with open forehooves like we're going to. She can know she has friends who missed her, and she doesn't need to run away again!"
"What? No!"
"Don't be selfish Silver Spoon," I said, smiling. "Haven't you been saying you WANT to be a nicer pony? Applebloom and the rest would understand if you told them so. Diamond Tiara might not wait for you to explain things, all because you didn't want to give up having adventures with them."
"I understand completely," Tootsie said. "I really really like the Mare-Do-Wells, all the exciting things they did for Ponyville! But Bon Bon said I should keep my adventures limited to Power Ponies comics instead of trying to be a super hero."
I preferred Rainbow Dash, but Tootsie and me had agreed to disagree about that.
I fluttered onto a nearby picket fence on one rear and front hoof, balancing with my other two hooves in he air. "What we're saying Silver Spoon is. It's not good to be in the middle of the road."
"You should join the Foal Free Press," said Tootsie. "If you do. Something Tiara put so much work into, then she'll know you still care about her! That you do want to be friends still!"
"And I could always use your help," I said fluttering onto my other rear and front legs. "You could help spread the paper among Ponyville's rich ponies! We'll be bigger than ever! Doesn't that sound great?"
"They're my friends...I can't just leave them."
"And you'd rather hurt Diamond Tiara?" I ask fluttering off the fence and hovering a bit above her in a serene pose. "Or maybe...just maybe...that what you want to do Silver Spoon? Maybe you want to hurt her back? Maybe you're just telling yourself you've forgiven her, but you really haven't deep down?"
"Is hanging out with some friends, really worth hurting another friend?" Tootsie asked sadly. "I'm hanging out with Alula, but Pipsqueak and the others understand. Applebloom and the others will too."
"So are you going to be selfish just for the sake of hanging out with your cool new friends?" I ask. "Or you going to help us make Diamond Tiara's coming home the best it can possibly be so she knows she's welcomed home?"
"We're not on Diamond Tiara's 'enemy' radar," Tootsie said. "You can hang out with us in the meantime. And when Diamond Tiara comes back, everything is going to be better, and then you can introduce her to Applebloom and the others, when she won't think you abandoned her while she was gone."
"So Silver...wanna be friends for Diamond Tiara's sake? It's what she'd want," I said flapping down a little so I could stretch out my hooves, the sun shining behind me.
Silver looked thoughtful...then got this look. Kinda like someponies did when they realized the answer to a hard question.
"...But wouldn't I be selfish if I abandoned Applebloom and the others for Diamond Tiara the same way? If I just said 'sorry, Diamond wouldn't like it if I was friends with you?' That'd be just as selfish. And wouldn't Diamond be selfish to if she wanted me to abandon Applebloom and the others too?"
I hate to say it, I REALLY hate to say it, but that witch Sweetie Belle was friends with? She did teach me a few things about how love works.
And I knew what Twist thought of me, Twist hadn't exactly hidden what she expected to happen if Diamond came back until I proved otherwise...She thought I'd do exactly what Tootsie and Alula were telling me.
"I care about Diamond, I want to be her friend no matter what. But the truth? Right now? If she were friends with somepony I didn't like? I'd STILL want to be her friend. And I know deep down she's the same way...So I'm not going to be selfish. If she comes back, I'll try to be her friend again, but I won't MAKE her be Applebloom's friend. If they don't want to acknowledge each other EXIST that's fine by me...I want them both to be my friends, but you're right, I'd be SELFISH to make her be the Crusaders' friends...So I'll be both their friends, and maybe eventually they'll become friends that way."
"But what if she runs away again? If you hurt her?"
"Tootsie, Bon Bon told you about what happened in Canterlot, right?"
"Yeah! It was awesome!"
"I infiltrated a giant tower guarded by Changeling soldiers, through the air vents, and knocked two of them out with Applebloom and Scootaloo's help to rescue a friend of mine. If Diamond runs away, there's no way I'm losing her again. I'll explain what really happened to her if I have to track her clear to the Griffin Kingdoms."
"So you're going to be selfish-"
"Selfish is choosing one friend over the other instead of trying to be BOTH their friends. I'd be just as selfish abandoning Applebloom as abandoning Diamond. Either way I hurt somepony," Silver Spoon replied...then smile...friendly. "And I'm not choosing them over you. If you want to be my friend, the more the merrier. I won't hoof you a Crusader cape or ask you to spend time with Applebloom."
"I'm not asking you to NOT be their friend anymore, just don't see them until Tiara comes back! That way you can avoid making any misunderstandings until you have a chance to explain everything!" Calm down Alula, remember what Tiara said in your dreams, stay calm, above everything, stay calm and keep on the pretty face.
"And what if..." I could tell she HATED saying it. "She doesn't come back for a long time? She's been gone for months...I'd LOVE it if I knew she'd come back tomorrow...but unfortunately I don't. Can you tell me without a doubt she'll be back tomorrow?"
"...No..."
"Then all I'd be doing is telling the Crusaders day after day 'sorry, I can't play with you, Diamond could come back any day now.' Again, and again, and again until she does someday. And YES I want her to come back, I PRAY she'll come back, but I can't be sure WHEN she'll be back or when I'll find her. Putting my life on pause waiting for her is only going to hurt my OTHER friends. And it'd STILL be choosing one friend over another...The only way to be a real friend to both her and the crusaders is to wait for Diamond to come back and be ready for when she does. Because turning my back on the friends I have now is only going to hurt THEM...and I don't think Diamond would run away...it's private, if you REALLY care about Diamond, you won't ask."
Diamond...I'm still keeping what happened with your momma secret...but I know you wouldn't run away if you knew your momma is herself again...That your family was together again.
"I'd still be selfish to my new friends if I stopped hanging out with them just because Diamond might not like it. I'd be selfish to Diamond if I didn't think things out about what to say to her when she comes back or MAKE her be my new friends' friend and not just mine...thanks for letting me realize that," Silver said completely sincerely. "And I'd still like to be your friend, just don't expect me to stop hanging out with my other friends...After all, Applebloom is my friend AND Twist's at the same time, even if Twist isn't a Crusader."
Tootsie looked unsure at what Spoon said. Was what Silver Spoon saying muddying the waters in Tootsie's head? But the moment Silver Spoon mentioned Twist, Tootsie's eyes came back into focus. I don't think Silver Spoon realizes she made a big mistake. I don't want there to be things said that we can't take back.
I can't think. Tiara I'm sorry, I'm not as good as you. Tootsie isn't either. I'm sorry.
Keep your face even, just like Diamond taught, keep your face even, just keep the smile there.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
Silver muddying the waters for Tootsie wasn't good. Diamond said it was important Silver Spoon join the news paper but not while hanging out with the Crusaders. Stay graceful. Stay calm.
I thought it was a good compromise. Silver Spoon didn't think so. If I played my hoof of cards anymore, it would be breaking my Pinkie Promise to Diamond Tiara in my dreams.
What was I supposed to do now?
"I know I'd like to be your friend. Your dad helped my family save Equestria. I'd like you as a friend," Tootsie said. Oh dear.
"I'm happy to hear it," Silver Spoon smiled.
Route B. "How can you think of Diamond Tiara as not your enemy, when you're now friends with her enemies? Shouldn't you then say to her 'not going to see you anymore, have a nice life' if she comes back? If you're so convinced she won't run away again? If you've changed so much, how can you say there's anything to make you friends?"
"You said you didn't like that you teased Dinky and are sorry. Diamond's never been sorry for teasing anypony ever. But you said you're going to welcome her back with open hooves anyway. You're like me, you know there can be more to Diamond than her bullying, that there is more, so want to hang out?"
"I'm sorry Silver Spoon, my sister only has the place set up for one extra seat and we can't afford an extra seat on the fly," I said.
"Well, you can come to my house instead."
"Sorry, but my sister would get really worried if she didn't know where I am, and Tootsie already promised she'd come to my place and I told my sister we'd be there. Maybe some other time?"
If you need to leave. Don't make excuses that sound like excuses.
"Some other time."
I took Tootsie and retreated.
+++
"I'm sorry Tiara, but if I told Silver Spoon more, I'd have to break my promise about not telling anypony you were coming back," I told Diamond Tiara in my dreams. A bowl of banana ice-cream in front of me.
"It's okay." Diamond Tiara blew her nose, and threw away the hankie, it hit the trash bin like it had rocks in it, like the big patch of stone on her chest. "Silver Spoon would have told somepony, and that would have ruined the surprise. You did the right thing."
"Alright," I nodded. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well."
"I'll be fine soon. Everything will be ready by then. The Foal Free Press is getting good exposure right?"
"Yes! All the advice you gave really really helped! Thank you!"
"You're welcome."
"I'm sorry I couldn't do as good a job as you."
"You're still learning, nothing to be ashamed of."
"This place...is weird . . ." Tootsie looked around at the gazebo with weird glowing symbols floating around it in rings. It was wonderful to have her here too now at last. First I had to make her Pinkie Promise to keep it all a secret of course.
"This is a private spot, Princess Luna can't find you in your dreams here," Diamond Tiara had explained. "My first cousin once removed built it a long time ago."
"Is it safe then?" Tootsie asked.
"Princess Luna wasn't checking dreams for a thousand years, besides, I'm here, I'll protect you from any scary nightmares that come." That was nice to know. "And now that we're close to the big surprise for everypony, I have something nice I want to show you both."
Diamond Tiara stood up, coughing a little, and a big golden oval mirror appeared.
"Come take a look." She smiled and gestured.
Tootsie and I trot into the mirror's view, we gasped together.
Looking back at us, was us, but we were Alicorns Princesses, with crowns and jewelry and everything! Both me and Tootsie! Our manes sparkled and glowed, moving in unfelt wind.
We shined like the moon and shimmered like the sun and twinkled like the stars.
Ponies were cheering for us inside the mirror. Big Sister Cloud Kicker, Rainbow Dash. Miss Cheerilee. Rumble. Princess Luna. The Mare-Do-Wells.
We were still fillies but...we were...so beautiful…we were so confident! No doubts, fears, or worries… I could fix everypony problems with a flick of my new magic horn, I could make a crops sprout like jack-in-the-boxes with a stomp of my hooves, I could make make perfect weather with a flap of my wings. My dance in the air was the only dance anypony wanted to see. I could crush Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis with a slight kick or convince them to take up basket weaving with just a few kind words, or leaving them broken crying as I told him how stupid and mean they were and they admitted how right I was. All the colts said how pretty I was.
Silver Spoon apologized for everything she said that afternoon.
The most ugly, stupid and dumb looking pony I'd ever seen marched up to me and said, "I think you're stupid and dumb! Because I'm stupid and dumb! And that makes me right!"
I blasted her with my horn, and everypony cheered.
I took all the bits from the meanie elites in Canterlot and gave them to the poor.
I convinced Cloud Kicker to become best friends with Fluttershy.
"You're more worthy to be called Big Sister than me." Cloud Kicker bowed humble and enlightened.
None understood how truly powerful we were, not even Celestia and Luna, but we always remembered to play nice and hold back, unless they did something really stupid (meaning of course what we decided was stupid), then we made sure they couldn't fight back and gave them a good lecture even if sometimes they were too stupid to figure it out right away, but they always did later, and then admitted what we did was for the best.
"Can I be your assistant?" Spike asked. But I politely turned him down, Twilight needed him more than I did.
Then comes the big purple monsters that makes everypony depressed and grumpy, including the princesses and the bearers, turning them into monsters, but we combine our magics and fix everything in a minute.
Twilight and her friends had no idea that we were the reason they always beat the bad guys.
"Think they'll be able to save the day without our help this time?" Tootie asked as they fought a big ugly goat.
"Naw. But they don't need to know that."
Yes, this was the me I wanted, this was the me I wanted to be.
We were the heroes. Everypony noticed me. Everypony knew I was here. Everypony loved me.
I was Princess Erroria.
I could just reach out…and touch it. Tiara pulled the mirror away and the mirror vanished.
"HEY!" We echoed agitated. We looked at ourselves, we hadn't changed. I remembered how I looked in the mirror, how Tootsie had looked. I felt angry and sad at the same time. I felt so small, so boring. Who'd give thought to a pony like me? I was so plain, so ordinary, like vanilla ice-cream.
"Sorry. That was just a preview. But do you like it?"
We nodded eagerly.
"So you'd like to be Princesses too?" I felt a soft wings fold over me.
I thought of how I looked, so pretty, so...so wonderful, like the me I've known is just a pale shadow or something. It was like waking up from the world's most beautiful dream only to wake up back to a pale desolated world. I shook my head to clear it.
"So you don't Alula?"
"NO! YES! I DO WANT IT! I do! I do!" I said, thinking of the happy world I'd seen.
She said kindly. "No need to shout. Calm down. So do you want it too Tootsie?"
"Yes! It'll be great!" She hopped up and down, stars in her eyes.
"That's good to hear: then we have a binding agreement."
"What's that mean?" I asked.
She shook her head playfully. "Nothing. Never mind. More ice-cream cake?"
"Sure!" Tootsie nodded.
"So Diamond, when?" I asked a little unsure, thinking of how long I have to wait.
She cut the cake and gave us each a slice.
"Don't worry, after the big surprise for everypony, I'll give what you want. Don't let it be said Diamond Tiara doesn't reward hard work my...Filth Rich taught me better than that. For now, enjoy the dream."
~Fin
