Fighters in Equestria?

by Awesomedude17

First published

Kratos, Dante, Franklin Clinton and Link now must live in Equestria. No adventures, no fighting.

A demigod who killed the gods of Olympus.
A demon hunter who stopped a legendary threat.
A hero who saved two worlds, and has indomitable courage.
A former gangster who hit the big time.

And now they are stuck in Equestria , living mundane lives.

Naturally, it all has some hiccups.

Starts at the beginning of Season 1.

A Rather Dangerous, and Standard Action-Packed Beginning

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It was a peaceful time in Canterlot. Celebrations were high in the air as triumphant music filled the air of wonders.

Not much could go wrong.


That's what most would say, had four humans from different realities not come to Equestria all of a sudden.

How'd this happen? Let's go back to the beginning, when they came here in the first place.

We start in the vast undergrowth of the Everfree Forest, where a man with ash-white skin, and red tattoo covering his body laid.

He was weak from blood-loss, and tired from years of endless fighting.

There was barely any respite from his quest.

And now that it was done, he now laid.

If it were not for the convenience of his arrival healing his terrible wounds, he might not have survived for much longer.

Still, being raised in Sparta, born of Zeus, and a killer of monsters, titans and gods alike, it was unremarkable that he was now alive.

His name was Kratos, Ghost of Sparta, and killer of the Gods of Olympus.

His eyes fluttered open, a painful aching feeling over his own body.

He wasn't sure where he was actually. He knew that the world was close to ending, and he knew that he wasn't in Hades.

All he knew was that he had a self-inflicted stomach wound, and put his hand over the wound.

Except, the wound wasn't there, it had seemingly healed.

"What the?" Kratos muttered, head pounding.

'Agh, curses. Where am I? What had happened? Did I succeed? Did I kill Zeus?'

It was a question he couldn't answer easily in this state. He felt around, and grasped two familiar swords, the Blades of Chaos, the blades that had killed many a god. He looked around with his tired eyes, and found the Blade of Olympus, the very blade he used to kill Ares, and countless other gods as well.

He slowly got up, almost collapsing. He had managed to fight through worse however as a mortal, and fought it off.

'Wherever I am, I need answers, and I need to find out what had truly happened.'

As he walked off, so too did our perspective, as we shift to a different man.

Clothed in a red trench coat, with a black undershirt and pants. With a head of snow white hair, and combat boots well worn, the man groaned as he got up.

"Oh man, what happened?"

This man was born of a rebellious demon father, whom fell for a human woman, and gave birth to twins.

One was surely dead, this one knew firsthand. His name was Dante, Son of Sparda, hunter of demons, sealer of Mundus himself.

And he was confused.

"Woah... what happened? Where am I?"

Dante quickly hopped to his feet, and looked around, taking in the sights. He whistled, and smirked.

"I ain't in Kansas anymore, or anywhere for that matter, that's for sure." He took a few stretches, and popped his neck a few times, right before going out and about.

We change our perspective to a young blond man, who carried a sword and shield on his back, and a satchel of gear and trinkets. He slowly got up, pain filled his body, but was not crippling.

He had no voice, but his actions speak louder than his own words.

He was the Hero of Time, the one known as Link of Hyrule.

And when he awoke, all he could do was sigh.

'All these years of adventuring, and I keep ending up unconscious on forest floors. Nayru's Love, how'd I get so low?' Link thought to himself as he got onto his feet, and took a few tentative hops, right before he set out, hoping to find out where he was.

We finally shift over to a much more different sight, one where there was a crashed, white sports car, and the occupant in the driver's seat, a black man from the streets of Los Santos, sat. He came to and looked around.

"Oh shit, how'd this happen?" Franklin Clinton asked himself, right before the night before came back to him.

"Motherfucker... I got drunk... shit." Franklin tried to open the door, but it was jammed. The window was not broken, but that didn't stop the ex-gangster, and he took out a handgun, and smashed the window out, unbuckling his seatbelt and crawled out.

It was at the moment that he realized that he was no longer in civilization. He check his phone and saw no reception whatsoever, and sighed. It was going to be a long walk back. He checked himself and found only minor injuries, bruises and cuts. Those would heal in a matter of days. He decided to let hope be on his side and went off into the forest.

Kratos looked around this strange land and kept his scowl, wondering if his adventures was a dream, or reality. If he was dead, or in a new world.

He then came across a strange man, who then stared at him.

"Heh, about time I met another guy in this place." The man joked.

"And what of you?" Kratos demanded, smelling the mix of mortal blood, and demonic blood within him.

"Me? Name's Dante, I kill demons. You?"

Kratos scoffed, and spoke. "I am Kratos, Ghost of Sparta, killer of the Gods of Olympus."

Dante rolled his eyes, and came up to Kratos, despite the Spartan being a good foot and a half taller than the half-demon.

"Big deal, I've faced tougher guys than a muscle-head like you."

"You will hold your tongue, half-breed."

"Half-breed? What, you think being half-demon's a reason to be prejudiced?"

Kratos' response was to take his blades and swing them at Dante, who danced around the chained blades like he was playing double-dutch. He jumped a good distance away from the Spartan and smirked.

"Dunno if fighting's something I want," Dante took out Rebellion and swung in an over-the-top fashion. "But I will enjoy this one."

"I will make sure that you will suffer half-breed!" Kratos yelled, charging forward.

Link overheard a yell, which sounded like a war cry, and ran towards the offending person, not noticing Franklin, who was also nearby.

"What... hey, come back!" Franklin yelled out, running after the swordsman.

When he finally caught up, he noticed something that would almost happen in a Los Santos Comic Convention.

A white-haired pretty boy clashing swords with a muscly man with over-sized muscles and an equally over-sized sword.

And neither wore a shirt, even if the pretty boy had a trench coat on. Apparently, there was a torn black shirt near the battlefield too, so it could assumed that it belonged to either of them.

And then Link came to his side, bemused by the fight.

"Hey, the fuck's wrong with you, you passed me by." Franklin said in a hushed tone to Link, who just finally noticed the other person.

'What? Who is this?' Link thought, deciding to explain as best as he could that he couldn't talk.

Franklin however then noticed the motions the significantly shorter man was trying to do, and waved him off, paying attention to the fight.

Dante for one was done with swordfighting and jumped away, taking out Ebony and Ivory, and firing at Kratos' feet.

The demigod then took a bullet to the foot. He registered that it hit him, but it didn't penetrate his skin, and just looked at the man.

"Huh, bulletproof. Interesting."

"Whatever these so-called 'bullets' are, they have proven most ineffective against a god."

"Dude, shut it with the god nonsense. Bad enough I get it from nobodies who are even less threatening than you are." Dante said, putting the guns away.

Kratos scowled and took a large step forward.

Link decided to take action and jump into the fray.

"Oh look, a third guy. Little on the short side, aren't ya?" Dante mocked, smirking.

Link just took out his sword and shield, and kept a defensive pose.

"This battle is none of your concern, mortal. Move along!" Kratos yelled.

"Alright, this bullshit's gotta stop!" Franklin yelled out, getting out of his hiding spot. "I dunno where the fuck we are, or who the fuck you assholes are, but I ain't gonna let a bunch of fuckwits act like a bunch of dumbasses and kill each other. I already got stupid people as friends, I don't need stupid mothafuckas killing each other 'cause they is stupid, alright?"

Link raised an eyebrow at this person's crudeness.

Kratos wanted to slaughter this person for insulting him.

Dante then laughed.

"Oh man, ha ha... he's got a point... ho ha..."

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing... just... realized how stupid this is." Dante chuckled some more.

Kratos glared at the newcomer, and gave him a death glare.

Link sighed, and sheathed his sword.

"Aright, now that you guys aren't going at each other's throats, let's go and set up camp." Franklin said as he pointed at the setting sun.

Link hadn't realized how long he had been exploring, until he realized that he awoke late in the afternoon.

Dante dropped his joking demeanor, and looked around as he searched for firewood.

Kratos looked at the three men, and scowled.

"When we are out of this damn forest, we shall go our separate ways." He proclaimed.

"Yeah, whatever man." Franklin said, not at all afraid of the man. Link noted the immense courage this person had, or sheer stupidity, or both.

Dante then came back with a bunch of wood.

"Who's got a lighter?" Dante said as he set down the firewood.

Franklin took out a lighter and showed it to the three.

Kratos and Link raised eyebrows, but decided setting up the firewood was more important. So they did. Franklin lit the lighter, and let the fire grow until he pulled back, and saw the flames go up.

"We rest for the night." Kratos spoke in a commanding voice.

"Uh duh, we got a campfire." Dante pointed out.

Kratos glared at the demon hunter, who gave a mock-fearful gesture. Link rolled his eyes and poked the fire, letting the oxygen breathe into the flames.

Franklin for one, just sighed.

"What's wrong?" Dante asked.

"I'm stuck with a bunch of assholes, that's what's up, homie."

"Homie? Ghetto much, homie?" Dante smirked.

"Whatever man."

"What are you two blabbering on about? What is this 'ghetto' you speak of?"

Franklin facepalmed, and Dante scoffed.

"Stuff from 'not your home', Greek." Dante silently cursed himself, that insult sounded better in his head.

Kratos growled.

"Really, growling?"

"Hey man, stop doing this shit, it's bad enough we're stuck in a forest, somewhere we don't know about. Damn."

Link sighed, deciding to get some sleep.

"Y'all sleeping, homie?" Franklin asked Link. Link nodded in response and laid down.

"Shifts, we stay up in shifts, black guy, you up with me." Dante spoke up.

Unfortunately, all four fell asleep, right then and there, thanks to exhaustion from recent adventures they had.

When Link woke up, the moon was setting, and decided to watch.

It set and set...

And then it disappeared over the horizon.

Only to come back up over the horizon.

Link panicked and woke up Dante, who groggily looked at the rising moon.

"Wait, did we sleep for an entire day?"

Link shock his head furiously.

Dante raised an eyebrow, and then woke the other two people up, and explained what was happening.

"Wait, so you saying that all there is is night here?" Franklin asked. "That shit don't make sense dog."

"Well either it's demonic magic, or another world, and my money's on demons, so I'm taking care of this mess." Dante said as he took out Rebellion.

"I will join you, and I believe that whomever did this shall pay dearly for this controlling of the heavens." Kratos growled out.

Link took out his sword and held it high into the air.

Franklin just sighed, and shook his head.

"Why do I always end up in this shit?" He asked himself.

And then there was rumbling noise.

"What is that?" Dante asked.

"Sounds like some sputtering." Kratos noted.

Franklin knew what it was.

"Sounds like my whip, who the fuck stole my car?"

"You call a, whatever a 'car' is, a whip?" Kratos inquired.

Franklin facepalmed.

'I'm stuck with a bunch of clowns.'

And then a white Bravado Buffalo S came out of nowhere, nearly running over Link.

Kratos grabbed the car, and was barely holding his own against the strange chariot.

Franklin just lost it.

"My motherfucking car!" Franklin ran over to it, and opened the door, and saw a shadowy fog moving the wheel.

Dante shot at the shadow, which squealed in pain and flew off, letting the car decelerate and eventually stop.

"Motherfuck, man."

"So, demons took over your car, seems like a reason to get out of here." Dante said.

"This is a car? It's a horseless chariot."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get in, that nigga is gonna get it." Franklin said as he got into the driver's seat, with Kratos getting into the passenger's seat, and Link and Dante getting into the back seat.

Franklin closed the door, and tried to turn on the radio.

Nothing. He figured this wasn't so bad, and drove off with the group.

"So, we figure out what the hell's going on, and then we do whatever to stop this fucker."

"It's a plan, not good one, but a plan nonetheless."

"Sounds more like a goal than a plan." Dante spoke up, with Link reaffirming with a nod.

"You will hold your tongue!"

"Hey, you mind not killing each other in my car, you'll ruin the upholstery. That stuff's expensive dog."

"Real nice, but it can be replaced." Dante smirked as he cracked his knuckles.

"No!" Franklin said sternly.

"...You're no fun."

"It ain't fun if you get killed over it, homie, so stop talking about fighting for just a minute."

"Okay, then how about pizza, I could go for a slice after all of this."

"...Ya know, that actually sounds pretty good."

"What is this... pizza?"

"Only the best thing ever big guy."

"I do not see how food could be the 'best thing ever' half breed."

"You're a Spartan dog, you've nearly starved when you were a kid. If you were starving, you'd think food was the 'best thing ever.'"

Kratos scowled, and the group soon came up to a run-down castle, where a bridge was still standing.

"So, we go by foot from here on out?" Dante asked.

"There's only a wooden bridge." Franklin answered.

Link got out, admiring the unique chariot that Franklin had driven.

Flashing lights came from the castle, and Kratos went into a charging movement.

"Hey, wait for me!" Dante yelled out, following the Demigod.

Link similarly ran after the two.

Franklin just sighed and ran after the others.

"Man, I always get the crazy ones."

When Franklin caught up, he found a peculiar sight, so peculiar, that the other three couldn't help but stare at.

Six ponies, blasting light into a dark horse, while it was screaming out in worry and fear and agony.

Soon after, the horse lost it's black coloring, and was reverted to a navy blue color with a moon shaped mark on her flank. Matter of fact, the other ponies had the mark on their flanks as well. Then came a white horse, and they soon noticed that the tall ones had wings and a horn, while the others had either or, or neither.

And then they talked about some mushy 'I missed you' talk that annoyed Dante, and decided to make himself known.

*Clap clap clap clap*

The group turned towards Dante's slow clapping. Dante was smirking, and decided to speak.

"Kinda a bad time to ask, but... do you know where we are?"

"Wait, who, what... we?" The purple one stuttered.

Kratos scowled, and jumped out of his hiding spot.

"You fool, we weren't trying to reveal ourselves."

Link came out of his hiding spot to put himself between the two fighters, and Franklin came out, shaking his head.

"Stop acting stupid, you two."

"You're stupid." Dante replied, lamely.

"What is going on Sister?" The navy pony asked.

"I have no idea. We'll need to ask them."

"About what?" Kratos snapped back.

"About who you are, what you are, and how you are here."

"All good questions. The name's Franklin."

Dante came forward. "Dante."

Then Kratos. "I am Kratos, Ghost of Sparta, General of..." Dante covered the demigod's mouth with his hand.

"No showboating, only I get to do that."

Kratos slapped the hand away and scowled.

Link decided not to do anything at this point. He figured that they were gonna butt heads, no matter what he did.

"And you are?" The pony asked, letting Link realize that he couldn't do much, and handed the same note that he always had on him since he realized that he couldn't speak.

"Link? Unusual name."

"Wait, your name's actually Link?" Dante scoffed jokingly.

Link pouted.

And it was at this one moment, that Twilight soon realized what might happen shortly after.

'We're doomed.'

As Good as Any Other Explaination

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-On the way back-

As the group of twelve walked back, the four humans had learned about where they were (Equestria), what the laws of nature was like (mostly controlled by the pegasi and earth ponies), and living accommodations (They would live under the watchful eyes of the bearers of the 'Helements of Armory, or whatever they actually said, they didn't really care about most names.)

"So, would you tell us about what you four do for a living?" Celestia asked.

Dante smirked, and simply said, "Demon hunter."

"I'm sorry, what?" Rarity asked.

"I hunt demons. That's it."

"You fight demons from Tartarus? That is awesome!" Rainbow Dash cheered out.

"Ehh, it's actually really boring if I don't get a real fight out of it, which is about 80% of the time."

"Damn. Dante, you are one crazy motherfucker." Franklin noted.

"Well you're friends with one if you know what one is, right?"

"Two. Both of 'em are a real couple of clowns."

"Oh, do they wear facepaint, or wear squeaky noses or..."

"Nah Pinkie, they might as well though. Wonder what those idiots are up too?"


"FUCK YOU, COPS!!!" Trevor yelled out as they were out running the cops in a high-end sports car that he stole with Lamar.

"Jesus, we got the whole five-O on our asses, Crazy Dude."

"Fuck yeah, we do."

"Probably off doing 'who knows what.'" Kratos sneered.

"I bet they already got the five-O on their asses."

"Five... O?" Twilight asked.

"Cops, police, law enforcers, etcetera." Dante explained.

"Oh, why?"

"At best, being a couple of drunk assholes."

"At best?" Applejack now knew that Franklin had to deal with two crazy ponies back at home, much like what she does with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

"That's fingers crossed though. They probably destroyed something."

Link raised an eyebrow.

"Like what?" Kratos asked.

"Hell if I know." Franklin shrugged.

"Well, what's your job then, Ghetto Blaster?" Dante asked Franklin.

"Business owner of a towing company, a taxi company, an autoshop, and a medical marijuana store."

"Car guy."

"Wait, you own a medicine store, that specializes in marijuana?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah man."

"I mean, it's legal here, but it's kinda a touchy thing to talk about."

"I know, it's kinda hectic in the states when it comes to drugs." Dante put in his two cents.

"Wait, four places of ownership, how did you earn that money?" Kratos said suspiciously.

Applejack noticed the suspicion and looked at Franklin.

"Well, I had a mentor to show me the ropes of my job, and before that, I was a repo man."

"Repo?" Applejack asked.

"Repossession man, you took back stuff that ponies missed too many payments on?" Pinkie Pie summarized/asked perfectly.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Sounds like you had a tough beginning, and won it all." Luna smiled.

"I guess I did."

"As for me..." Kratos started. "...I was a general to an entire army. But then the God, Ares, betrayed me. You would be best off not betraying me, lest you face your untimely demise."

Fluttershy hid behind Celestia, who just stared at the wrathful demigod.

"Dude, not cool." Dante disapproved.

"Yeah, not cool." Rainbow Dash agreed.

Kratos scoffed.

Link sighed. This was going to be a long time alone with three crazy people and a bunch of even crazier ponies.

"Hey man, I understand your pain," Franklin assured Link. "I deal with people like that on a daily basis, and that's just the bystanders."

Link smiled softly. He was still nervous, but there were people who he could trust now.

Kratos sneered and looked away.

"Aww, what's wrong Kraty."

"I am Kratos, not Kraty, pink one."

"Aww, but Kraty is a nice name."

"I agree." Dante put in his two bits.

"Both of you will shut up." Kratos threatened in a low, almost guttural tone.

"Stop gargling gravel, and maybe I'll listen."

"But he's not gargling gravel. I even know what it sounds like, and that voice doesn't sound like gargling gravel." Pinkie said.

"If you say so." Franklin said, trying to stay neutral.

Link looked the other way.

"You choose to betray me?" Kratos asked.

"I choose to stay out of this, ain't my problem." Franklin noticed Link nodding in response.

"Neutrality isn't always the best course of action." Rarity noted.

"Though sometimes, thangs like this ain't worth it." Applejack replied back.

"Oh, quiet you."

"Ohh... Applebutt and Diamondbutt are gonna fight each other?" Dante smirked as Applejack and Rarity shot death glares at him.

"Alright, you four humans will need to come with us." Celestia said in a motherly tone.

"Why is that?" Kratos asked.


"It's because we're dangerous?"

"Unknown. But if you are so quick to say that of yourself Franklin..."

Franklin inwardly cringed, but didn't show it on the outside.

"Alright, study us, but no scalpers." Dante set his terms.

"Alright, we're here."

The group soon ended up in Ponyville, where the humans took a backseat approach to what they were seeing.

After Celestia declared that Twilight would live in Ponyville and write 'Friendship reports' every week, Celestia took the group of humans, and led them to her private chariot.

"It's a fine chariot." Kratos said admirably.

"Indeed it is."

"Well then, let's use this waste of taxpayer money now." Dante spoke out.

"Chariots are actually quite cheap if you do it right."

The way to Canterlot was quiet and uneventful. Soon, the four humans and two alicorns were at the castle, and were now moving about with the walls.

Dante whistled at the sight.

"Nice place you got here, really big. Too big, perhaps?"

"Dante, times were different back then."

"So were ponies." Kratos spoke.

"Yeah, well ya know what, better here than the forest." Franklin put in his own two bits.

Link soon felt out of place, being unable to speak.

By Nayru's Love, why am I here? How am I here?

They soon entered the throne room, and Celestia went to her throne.

"Rest up Luna. After all this time, you must be exhausted." Celestia said softly.

"Yes, of course sister. Thank you." Luna soon left the room, leaving four humans and one princess.

"So, tell me a reason why you are not dangerous?"

"I only fight when they fight me first, or I'm saving my homies' asses." Franklin explained.

"My quest has already ended. I see no point in fighting anymore." Kratos told Celestia.

"I only fight the bad demons." Dante leaned against a pillar.

Link took his sheathed sword, and held it out to Celestia as a token of peace.

"I see. Well then, I see no reason to deny you freedom to do as you wish, provided that you do not harm my little ponies."

"I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon." Dante said, right before noticing something in Franklin's back pocket. "Hey, what's that in your back pocket?"

"What?" Franklin then noticed that Dante asked him a question." Oh, here it is man." Franklin took out a sawed-off shotgun from his back pocket.

"How'd that fit in your pocket?" Celestia asked.

"Deep pockets."

Link replied by taking his satchel and pulling out a bomb bag.

"So you have that too?" Dante replied as he took out a guitar with lighting strings.

"You three have these 'deep pockets'?" Kratos didn't flinch much. He seemed to have 'deep pockets' too.

"Yeah, well then we all got deep..." Franklin soon fumbled the gun, and it went off, hitting the pommel of Link's sword, creating a spark, and it lit one of the fuses of a bomb. In a panic, Link grabbed the bomb, and threw it away, only for Franklin to grab it, and throw it to Dante.

The fuse disappeared.



When the smoke cleared, Dante was covered in ash, but was relatively unharmed.

"Are you alright Dante?"

"...You have made a powerful enemy Link." Dante said in a mock-serious tone.

Link cringed, knowing that he messed up.

"Maybe... we should split up." Celestia suggested.

"Yeah, we should." Dante said as he decided to look for a bathhouse. Kratos decided to follow Dante, if only for the bathhouse as well. Franklin went off with Link to grab something to eat.

Celestia sighed, and shook her head.

"More to come then." She smirked, thinking that these four would be a blast.

Don't Think of It

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It took some asking, but Franklin did find a gym within the city of Canterlot, and decided to take Link along to show him how men exercised back in Los Santos.

"Hello sir! Welcome to Fit-sical! Are you two interested in a membership?" The well-toned and excited pony said to the two humans.

"We're just here to try out the gym." Franklin replied politely.

"Alright, we allow our first day free if you two... Whatever you two are..."


"I'm sorry, I just never..."

"Seen things like us?"

"Well, there are minotaurs, like that one over there." The pony pointed at a minotaur pumping iron in a traditional laying position, with a unicorn spotting him.

"...Close enough. And it's alright homie, we straight." Franklin held out his fist. The pony somehow found it weird that these 'humans' had similar calls to ponies, and hoofbumped him back.

"Alright Link, let's start off with pull-ups. And don't worry, I don't think Dante's gonna kill you."

Link still felt like Dante still was.

Dante took solace in enjoying his strawberry sundae alone. Sure, people like Link and Franklin could be seen as good allies, and Kratos was a laugh and a half to tease, but he still doesn't like interaction when it wasn't needed.

Maybe he could take the next month off, avoid demon hunting for once...


"Half-breed, why are you not taking vengeance against the swordsman?"


"Because I don't wanna." Dante replied to Kratos.

"You do not wish to seek vengeance against the one who wronged you?" Kratos asked in confusion.

"Uh, yeah."

"You are quite possibly the most slothful man I have ever had the displeasure of encountering."

"Yeah, well you're a bit of a jerk, so shut it." Dante finished his sundae and got up.

"You infuriate me, half-blood."

"Good, it's working."

Kratos scowled and let out a guttural growl.

Dante blew air, knowing that the two of them would kick each other's asses sooner than later.

"Ya know, for a scrawny man, you're pretty strong." Franklin noted as Link did one-armed pull-ups with 50 lb weights in Link's free arm.

"Yes he is. I've only seen a few ponies can do stuff like that." One onlooker said.

"Weird boots though." Another onlooker noted.

"Yeah, the hell are these things?" Franklin pointed at the Iron Boots Link had.

Link let go, and landed with a heavy thud, cracking the ground. Taking them off quickly, Link motion to Franklin to try and pick them up.

"If you say so." Franklin grabbed the boot, and found them to extremely heavy.

"Damn, how heavy are these damn things?"

Link smirked a little, knowing that these heavy boots won't get off the ground anytime soon.

Princess Celestia took a sip of tea, apparently to take the edge off over the stress that is going to come from bringing Luna back into Modern Society.

"Sister, doth thou think the ponies will accept me back?"

"Luna, the nobles are the same snobbish group of lowlifes that I ever had the displeasure of working with. Fancy Pants is one of the few that are genuinely nice, but the majority..."

"Say no more, I never liked them either."

"Right. I wonder what the humans are doing?"

"Your highness, The white haired human has wrestled the bald one to the ground after the latter tried to throw him out the window." A guard said as he burst in.

"Oh dear, they're like children having temper tantrums. I'll talk to them right now." Celestia got up and walked over to the place where Kratos and Dante had apparently fought.

"Get off of me!" Kratos yelled as he pushed himself up only to get pushed down by a stomp by a barely interested Dante.

"Dude, stop trying. You're embarrassing yourself."

"You will not speak such words when I rip your head from your neck!"

"Ooo, I'm so scared. You're scary, scary bald man with anger issues. Oh my!" Dante mocked back.


"You know, if this wasn't so amusing, I'd separate you two." Celestia said with a smirk.

"See! At least she has a sense of humor Kraty."

"Words cannot describe my hatred of you, half-breed."

"So, wanna get pizza for dinner?" Dante asked Celestia.

"You know, that sounds good. Fresh or take-out?"

"Either or, I got a lot of time on my hands and feet." Dante turned at the sound of a door opening to see Franklin and Link coming in, with Link holding his Iron Boots with a sense of triumph.

"What are those things?"

"Heavy-ass boots, dog." Franklin said plainly.

"Really?" Dante grabbed the boots, and tossed them up in the air with little effort.

"Uh, what happened here?"

"Nothing important." Dante said as he took his foot off of Kratos briefly to put on the Iron Boots.

"You will be..." Kratos was then hit in a roundhouse kick by the boot wearing Dante, stunning him enough to get back to the position he was not 30 seconds earlier.

"Nice pair Link. Consider yourself safe." Dante chuckled, confusing Link quite a bit.

"I hate you." Kratos mumbled.

"Aww, I hate you too." Dante chuckle soon turned into a toying laugh.

"Good to see you two being so nice to each other." Franklin said as he sat down.

Celestia chuckled to herself.

Just like children.

April Foals: Interview Thingy

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"Why must I wear this cursed thing?"

"We're giving our opinions on this story we're a part of."

"Be quiet Dante, I have no idea why I even joined this crew."

"Because y'all needed the money?"

"Be quiet Franklin."

"HA HA HA HA!!!"

"Laugh it up, Link."

"Oh wait, it's starting."

The set lit up.

"Hello, we're the four human characters of the fanfic, Fighters in Equestria? Who wrote the name?" Dante scowled.

"I have no idea. I for one, regret this decision." Kratos leaned back.

"Well I'm underrated compared to Michael and Trevor. Those two assholes make me look like damn filler." Franklin shook his head. "Motherfuck."

"Hey, at least you three talk during the story." Link spoke in a rather deep, Scottish voice.

"Trust me, the silent ones are the deadliest." Dante laughed a bit at his own terrible joke.

"Whatever... as you may have known, the author is a piece of shit fuckwad who can't keep a time on his own damn stories, so we're gonna make this filler so y'all can make him get off his ass and write."

"Well, make sure his ass can stay near a computer, damn bastard walks two miles a day." Link shook his head.

"And yet he still keeps his gut." Dante remarked.

"Are we doing a 'bash the author' chapter?" Kratos asked.

"I guess." Franklin shrugged.

"Than maybe he can hold off on those 'Infinite Loop' stories."

"Well, that crossover between Ace Attorney and Five Nights at Freddy's was a great piece of literature, I'll admit." Dante smirked.

"This isn't working... too much shameless self-promotion." Link facepalmed.

"So what do we do?"

"Maybe he can finish that fucking chapter about the Nazi Zombies thing with ponies!"

"SHH, Nikolai, zis is ze wrong set!"

"Fuck you, Richtofen, I say whatever... holy shit, it's Grey Goose! I love that vodka, even though it is French!"

"Get away from the vodka, you motherfuckers!" Franklin got out of his chair.

"Let's just end this before there's any more messes." Kratos got up.

"Hey, wait, we didn't even ask any questions!"

"Do you want a fight, or a piss poor attempt of an interview. I'm out." Link stomped off.

"...Guess I'm leaving too." Dante got up and left.