> The Crimson Fucker is Here!
>  by DontFearTheSuperman
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue part 1: How I came here
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Present Day

And, the show just hit the 3000 years mark. That means I have about 42 more years to put my plan into action. Huhhhh, you know, life has been boring just sitting hear, in my chair, in my dark cave, drinking a cup of blood. What? Did you think I was going to be stone like some of those other LoHAV dudes? No no no my friends. You see, I did in fact go up against the Royal Fuckbuckets 3000 years ago. However, when I got hit with the Elements of Harmony(AKA Brainwashing Devices), I didn't get turned to stone. Why is that you might ask?

Because, my dear mortals, I am TheCrimsonFucker himself, Alucard. 

And not just any Alucard, I am Schrodinger, Alucard. 

For those of you who don't know what that means, don't worry about it. It will all be explained in the backstory I'm about to bore you all with, simply because it is at least semi important to the whole story. Now listen carefully, I don't like to repeat myself...



3000-ish Years Ago

Now, my name before all of this was Jackson, I can't remember my last name though. I used to leave in Dallas, Texas with my good buddy Marcus. We were huge anime nuts, like huge huge. Whenever one of our favorite animes got a new season or episode, we were all over it like stink on a skunk. This wasn't more true, than with our favorite anime of all time, Hellsing Ultimate. We watched every episode of that show, like three times, dubbed, subbed, and TFS Abrigded, my personal favorite. So, when we heard that, an Anime Expo was coming to Texas, we had to go as our favorite characters. 

Getting the costumes was pretty easy(you'd be surprised what you can find on the internet nowadays), especial since Marcus' dad was a world renown doctor, so he was rollin' in dough. He got Walter, and I got Alucard(I should take this moment to mention that we're both black and I'm 6'7'' and he's 6'5''. Yes, I know, a black Alucard, but hey who cares). Now, the only snags we came across were with my costume. One, the purple eyes he got when he absorbed Schrodinger, two, his twin rows of sharp teeth, and three, his two signature guns. Now the eyes and fangs were child's play. All we did was buy some purple contacts, draw black circles on them(I have very careful and steady hands), buy some fake fangs, and sharpen the square ones so they look pointed. It was a snug fit, but it worked. However, no matter how hard we looked, we could find any gun that looked enough like Alucard's to use, so we gave up.

Once the day of the Expo came, I drove us there in my friend's Jaguar(I know, right?). After we got there, we noticed something, we were the only ones who thought of going as Walter and Alucard. This was actually a plus, because people were fanning all over us, asking for photos, autographs, you know standard shit. But no matter what I did, I just couldn't shake the feeling of wrongness that came from not having my weapons.

That was when I saw the stall, and I froze.

The stall had two guns that looked exactly like Alucard's from the series! They even had the Jackal down, all the way to its barrel. It wasn't until the owner of the stall showed himself, that I knew exactly who it was. The man was tall, and looked like Xeres did in that 300 Rise of an Empire movie I saw once. 

He looked to me and smiled," See anything you like, Alucard?"

I pointed my finger at him," It's you, your the merchant that gave the League of-"

"Perhaps it would suit you to continue this conversation, in the back," he said, indicating said place with a wave of his hand. I told my friend I would be back later, and fast walked into the room. It was a small room, with a chair and a desk like the ones you would see in a police interrogation room. I took a seat, just as the Merchant walked in, with both of the guns. He sat down right across from me, and placed the guns down on the table, handles towards me.

"Alright, so how did you know who I am?" he asked me.

"Because I've read the fanfics, you're the Merchant who gave some of the LoHAV their weapons. And, in all seriousness, I'm probably going to pick up this guns, and get whisked off to a version of Equestria, where they'll freak out at seeing me, and I'll end up just like they did."

The Merchant kept a calm look about him," Hmm, I can see that you are a smart one, well you don't have to-"

"I want in," I deadpanned.

Now the Merchant looked taken aback," W-wh-Why?"

"Because, ever since MLP came out, I have hated it with a burning passion. And I am a firm believer in the Multiverse Theory. So, I knew that out there was universe, that was created thanks to MLP becoming popular. Ever since then, I have been planning what I would do if humanity ever discovered universe hopping and was able to travel the Multiverse. My plan was simple, get military training, go find the Prime Equestria, and destroy it. That way, I will not only destroy it, but I will destroy Every. Single. Last. Equestria. Ever. Created. That includes the fanfic worlds, the alternate worlds, all of it. However, I knew I couldn't go in there with minimal knowledge of Equestria and its defenses. And, the next worst thing to watching the show itself, is reading the fanfics. So, I searched fimfiction.net, looking for a fanfic where the humans beat and/or kill the ponies, and that is how I found the LoHAV. I was able to not only learn the strengths and weaknesses of Equestira, but also read epic stories of humans killing ponies. However, there was in fact a trend among the fanfics, either they got there by buying a weapon from a stall at an Expo, or they would find the Alicorn amulet somehow. And, judging by how realistic those guns look, you must be that merchant." I explained.

Silence reigned in the small room for a bit, then the Merchant began to laugh a hearty laugh," Oh oh oh! Ah hah haha! Ah, I was wondering when someone was finally going to recognize me!"

I relaxed a bit, glad my hunch was correct," So, who exactly are you?"

He stopped laughing, but still looked quite happy," Well, since your the first to figure me out, how about this? Before you go to Equestria, I will answer any and all your questions. About me, the Equestria you're going to, or the powers you'll have when you get there. First, I will answer your question asked just now."

He took on a somber expression, as he placed his elbows on the table, and looked at the roof, his Persian accented voice beginning his story," You right you know, about the Prime Equestria. It was once a beautiful land. The Everyfree was just that, free. There were humans, minotaurs, nagas, hydras, chimeras, dragons, and all sorts of creatures living there. Each one living in its own kind of peace. Everything was perfect. But then," as he began, his head dropped back down, and his hands closed into fist, until they started shaking, pure hatred coming into his voice," those god forsaken ponies came. With Celestia and Luna at the head, the ponies cut a swath of destruction through the land. Any who didn't submit them, was executed, and had their name erased from history, never to be thought of again. As you can probable tell, only the minotaurs, griffins, manticores, hydras, cocktrices, dragons, timberwolves, and ponies remain."

His voice grew more filled with disdain as he continued," We humans, didn't even get a choice. They just walked into our homes, and started killing everyone. They deemed us 'too violent' to be given a choice to surrender. They didn't care who they killed, man, woman, child, it didn't matter. Even my wife and daughter, killed by the Royal Sisters, as they begged fro mercy!" When he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes," SCHOLAR'S RIGH YOU KNOW! ALL OF THAT 'HARMONY' THEY MADE, WAS POISON TO US! IT STOPPED OUR MAGIC, CHOKED OUR SOLDIERS AND MAGES! SO MANY DIED BECAUSE OF THEM! I ONLY GOT AWAY, BECAUSE OUR REMAINING MAGES SACRIFICED THEMSELVES TO SEND ME ANS TWO OTHERS ACROSS THE MULTIVERS, TO MAKE SURE THEY PAID!!!!!" 

He seemed to calm down, and wiped his tears away," Now you know why I do what I do. I do not like to take people away from their homes and families for my revenge, but the weapons I have will only react to a certain person, and I am none of those persons."
I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it to give him comfort," Hey, it's alright, while I'm not sure about the others, I know that I will help you with this." 

At that he smiled," Thank you."

I pulled away and set my arm on my right leg," So, next question, what type of powers will I have?"

"You will have all of Alucard's powers, including his Schrodinger ability. If you wish to use this ability, if you are ever in a tight spot, simply think of yourself in a different area and you'll be there. You can go anywhere, even places you haven't been or inside someone's mind."

I nodded my head," Ok, how much of a danger will the ponies be to me, and what kind will they be?"

"You will be going to an anthro version of Equestria, but other than that, everything else will be the same. Their magic shouldn't hurt you that much, and besides, if they ever do disintegrate you, just use your Schrodinger ability."

"What about the Sisters?"

"Well, since Celestia is the sun, her magic will be slightly more dangerous to you, but once again, Schrodinger. And, as for Luna, since you are a creature of the night, her magic will actually make you stronger."

'Hmmm,' I mused to myself,' I like the sound of that.' "What about the Elements of Harmony?"

"Again, Schrodinger."

"Ok, will I have unlimited ammo for my guns?"

"Yes."

"What about feeding?"

"Well, if you don't want to turn a pony into a ghoul, just drink enough of their blood to sate you, or just enough to knock them out, not kill them. As for turning people, just make sure that if you bite a virgin, you do not put some of your blood into her wound."

"Ok, last thing, when or where will I land?"

"You will be sent to Equestria, 3042 years before the events that turned Twilight into an Alicorm. Are you ready?"

I looked to the table, and grasped the handles of my guns saying," Fuck Yeah, and thank you." As the world began to fade to black, I heard the Merchant say, " No, thank you."


And with that, I blacked out.





When, I awoke, I looked around, and smiled. 

I was in the Everfree forest.

And I was motherfucking Alucard.

This is going to be fun.
> Prologue part 2: Alucard Fights the Law
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Once I stood up, I did a body check to make sure I what I think was supposed to happen, happened. Arms and legs, long a skinny. Clothes, one hundred percent real, I thought as I tugged on my coat. Fangs? I put my finger in my mouth, and felt a slight pain as I pulled away. There was blood on my finger. Check. Eyes? I took my glasses off, and squinted to look into my reflection. They shined a light purple. Ok, that means I have the Schrodinger powers. Lastly, guns? I reached into my pocket as I pulled out Alucard's signature pistols, the Casul and the Jackal. 

Not wanting to waste any time, I put the Jackal in my mouth and pulled the trigger. 

You wanna know something cool about being Alucard? You feel no pain. Seriously, I put an explosive, silver tipped, blessed, mercury round, right through my skull and I didn't feel a thing. Now, what I did feel was my head slowly reforming and giving me back my vision in one eye. I must say, it wasn't unpleasant. Then, I looked into the sky and laughed, and I noticed my voice too, now sounded like Alucard's epic one.

Once I stopped laughing, I decided that I might as well give these ponies a taste of my powers. Plus, it would be a good excuse to see if I actually could use Schrodinger's "everywhere and nowhere" powers. Put down my guns, put my hand in front my face, kind of like how Goku does when he uses instant transmission, and closed my eyes. I simply thought Ponyville, and I felt my body being shifted through the cosmos, the universe itself seeming bent on getting me to my destination. And before I knew it, I landed in Ponyville. 

With a shit-eating grin on my face, I surveyed the town, and became aware of something. I was smack dab in the middle of a group of guards, and I was sitting standing on one of them.

My first thought: Fuck Yes.





General Gleaming Spear, was having a boring day. Her squad had just successfully stopped the rape of a mare by a known serial rapist. Spear didn't really care about the name, just that he was head to Canterlot to be executed. She looked around at her squad, a bunch of male rookies. Now, she knew they were having an even worse day than she was. Most of them had signed on to her unit because, they were normally the first into the fight when a war started. They had all hoped they would get some glory, go to the tavern and hire some whores to "entertain them all" for about five bits an hour. 

Instead here they were, carting off a criminal, who didn't even put up much of a fight.

"General, ma'am," said a random soldier who came up to Spear, " I...uh...have to go ma'am...it's...an-" Spear put up a hand to stop him from blabbering any further. "Just go squire," she said the tiredness evident in her voice. The teenager(no more than 15) shot off down an alley way where no one could see him. Spear sighed, she knew that he was probably masturbating to her back there, some kind of fantasy he thought up when he looked at her. It had become almost routine in the past three days. With her being the only mare in the squad, not to mention her D-Cupped breast(made modest by her golden armor), fur that was almost as white as Celestia's and flowing blue mane and tail, she had come to accept that it was either this or take on her five squad mates at the same time. And she would not do the latter.

After all, she was still a virgin, and planned to keep it that way until marriage, as was customary for the children of noble (her Spear family had served the Equestrian military for generations). But as time went on, even that started to appear like a pleasant option. She just wished something, anything would-OOF!

At that moment, something heavy landed on her.




I looked around at the guards that had me surrounded, obviously surprised that I had just fallen out of the sky. 

I fixed them with a shit-eating grin, "Sup fella's! How's your health plan?" Afterwards, I felt something shift underneath me as a white head came out from shouting, " Don't just stand there! Kill this fiend!" Now, at this point I could've just dodged all of their swords and spears, and then annihilated them, but I decided to have a little fun. So, I stood up, put out my arms in the universal language of "Come at me Bros!" and just stood there as they turned me into a pincushion. As I fell to the ground and looked up at the sky.

Another grin came upon my face as I looked up. It was night time. And the moon was full.




The being that seemed to drop out of the sky, fell down into a puddle of its own blood. Once back up, Spear went over and got a good look at the creature. It was unlike anything that she had ever seen in the Everfree before, bipedal in stature, but it had claws on both its arms and legs. Its clothing was a bright red, almost the same color as its blood. Judging by its facial structure, Spear could see it appeared to be a male with a weird "skin" over its body and dark black hair on its head, its headwear thrown off in the ensuing bloodshed.

Satisfied that the fiend was dealt with, but a little disappointed that the battle had ended so quickly, she turned to her men, the squire that had gone behind the alley now back with his armor on and weapon ready," Good job, my companions. Now, let us-" she was cut off as they began to here a weird type of laughter. The laugh was deep, dark, and full of the desire for bloodshed. It seemed to come from everywhere, causing her and her squad to look around frantically, trying to find the source of the cackling. 

Suddenly, one of her knights said," Look!" and pointed right behind her. She quickly spun around, spear at the ready, and was just about to drop her spear. There, in the middle of the dark road, only illuminated by the light of Luna's mood, stood the very same creature they had just cut down, without a scratch on him. He smiled, a smile that showed all his razor sharp teeth. This caused most the guards to begin to shake in their boots, Spear could tell. Hers was a species that was primarily a prey species, so when they saw a predator, their major instinct was to run.

The creature opened its mouth," APPARENTLY YOUR HEALTH PLAN IS GREAT!!" he(confirmed because of its masculine voice) then pulled two slender objects out of his coat. Spear yelled at her guards to charge.




They never stood a chance. I mean really, all I did was pulled the triggers on both Casull and Jackal one time each, and bam four of them had their heads blown off. The last one looked away from me, her(I'm guessing based on the fact that she was the one I landed on) momentum carrying her forward as she looked back at her men, big mistake. Using my inhuman speed, I rushed forth and grabbed her by her throat and held her up. She struggled, using her legs to buck me in the chest, but her attacks were futile. 

I brought her close and sniffed at her, the smell of her blood making me lick my lips with hunger. She appeared to see this, and started to struggle even more, her heart rate increasing as she panicked. I moved her head so she could look in to my eyes, my vampiric powers taking control of her, and bringing her struggling to an end. Then I whispered in her ear," If you don't mind, when I bite you, scream for the Royal Sisters as loud as you can." I then opened my mouth wide and bit down on her neck. She did exactly as I told her and scream out for Celestia and Luna to help her.

Now, this was my first feeding, and I noticed something as I was draining her, I can see people's sexual experiences whenever I drink their blood. I looked through her memories and saw that she was in fact, a virgin. Good thing too, other wise I might've accidentally made a new vampire, and I didn't really want a sire, yet. I also noticed how sweet her blood was. It tasted like if you took your favorite candy and mixed it with your favorite drink, and it worked. I guessed that virgin blood tasted sweeter than others. I was cool with that.

Then, right as I was finished draining her, I saw a flash of light in the corner of my vision and knew my targets had arrived. I dropped the guard, who had fallen unconscious, and lo and behold, there were the Bitchy Sisters themselves. Luna, of course, had on purple armor and was wielding a great sword that seemed to shine with the moonlight. In complete contrast, Celestia had on bright gold armor, that seemed to shine out against the darkness, along with her spear.

Ever the brash one, Luna spoke first," Foul creature! What hast thou done to our knights!" I put on another grin as I replied," Oh nothing you know just the standard puttin' bullets in their heads, drinkin' their blood, and reading their minds. Say, that's some nice armor you got there, be a shame if something were to happen to it." 

Celestia spoke next, " Who are't thou?" 

I struck a poise, with both of my hands held out to my sides, firearms still there, "Well, I am known by many names, but you can just call me TheCrimsonFucker!" They both seemed taken aback by this," One, I believe it's 'bucker' and two, you dare use such vulgarity in the presence of the Princesses!" Luna said. I replied," Actually no, I believe that it is 'Fucker', two your not my princesses, and three, I would get down on my knees, but I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!"

Once again they were taken aback, but instead of replying, Celestia began to glow white as I noticed what looked like  jewelry on her began to light up. I grinned again, it's time to test my theory. I once again took on the "Come at me Bro!" stance, as Celestia fired what some bronies call the "Orbital Friendship Cannon" at me. When it hit, I felt something that even my theory couldn't predict me feeling.

Nothing.
Apparently, Celestia had turned me to stone, because I could still see them, but they let their guard down. I didn't waste anytime and immediately teleported behind Celestia. Before her sister could do a thing, I whispered in her ear," S'up bitch." Then I sank my fangs into her neck...

...and immediately recoiled, getting my fangs out of her.

You remember when I told you that virgin blood taste sweet, well none virgin blood taste the same as normal blood, sour and with a hint of iron. But apparently if you were to lose your virginity by unlawful means, your blood taste the worse. And Celestia, OOOOOOOH, you have no idea how bad it was. I can't even explain the taste, but I can explain why it's so foul to me. You see, Celestia did lose her virginity, to her dad. And no, I don't mean the 'Daddy what's that in your pants? You're about to find out sweety. Daddy noooooo!' kind of way. No, she raped her dad. Yeah, that's right, this holier than thou princess, tied daddy up, pulled of his robe, and rode him like you do a saddle horse, except the horse keeps screaming muffled 'NOOO! STOP! NOO!'

While I began to vomit up all of Celestia's blood, Luna rushed to her sister," Sister, are't thou ok? Why didn't the Elements work?" Celestia composed herself, still a bit shocked from my surprise attack, and turned to look her sister in the eye, "I do not know, but we must find a way to get rid of this evil being." 

I got up, looked at them both and said, "OH I'M EVIL! Look whose talking, Misses "I RAPED MY FUCKING DAD!' Both of them looked taken aback by what I just said, "Yeah bitch, when I bit you, I got a look at the time you lost your virginity, and you did it through one of the most evil ways to lose it, which is why your blood was so sour to me, that I through it up! And judging by Luna's face, you kept all of this a secret from her." Luna's agape mouth was covered by one hand, as she backed away from her sister, "Sister...is....this-" 

Sun Bitch, cut her off," Luna! We will discuss this later!" "But....I....father......you didn't have to......," not wanting to miss a chance to put my plan into motion, I rushed forward and bit down on Luna's neck, almost instantly injecting some of my blood into her. How did I know she was a virgin, simple, her and her sister are complete opposites. So, that must mean that she hasn't done anything yet.

Thankfully, I was correct and I must say, wow Luna. I mean, if that general back there was a virgin, that Luna was the virgin Goddess of virgins. Seriously, she had absolutely no sexual experiences in her life, she hadn't even masturbated yet. So, her blood was(and still is) the sweetest type of blood I have ever tasted. Remember when I said I couldn't describe Celestia's foul taste, well I can't describe Luna's sweet taste. 

Not wanting to waste too much time with my plan set in motion, I released Luna, who had passed out by then, and waved at Celestia saying," See'ya Sun Bitch, good luck explaining what I said to Luna," and then I teleported into the Everfree. I looked back and smiled at my work, then began the process of finding a cave to wait in.





Present Day

...Annnnd that's basically everything that has happened up to this point. Well lets see, that story only took, 42 years! Well hot damn! Looks like its time to cause some havoc!

Look out Equestria, THECRIMSONFUCKER IS HERE!
> Chapter 1: I'm Back Baby
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present Day

"...And that's the last of them," I said as I scraped a bit of Royal Guard off of my boot. After realizing that 42 years had gone by, I decided to go for a walk. As in, I teleported to Canterlot, massacred a few guards, and got to the Throne Room. If my fanfic knowledge is correct, Sunbutt and her little pet should be at the, uggh, "Castle of Friendship", right now. 'Oh boy do I have a surprise for them when they get back' I thought to myself as I sat in Celestia's throne, both of my guns placed in my lap. I then put my fingers together in the same way that Mr. Burns would and waited.

It took them all about half an hour to finally get back, but they did, and when they saw me sitting in Celestia's throne, boy did I get a reaction. Fluttershy flew behind Rainbow, who was currently in a fighting stance along with Jack, Twilight seemed to be surprised, excited, and horrified at the same time. The pink abomination, was currently standing still, most likely getting ready to jump me. The diva appeared to be more interested in my clothes(though I can't blame her, I do look pretty badass). And the princesses they just looked pissed.

I proceeded to break the tension the only way a gentleman like me would know how," Hey there ya PMSing bitches, how have things been? Not good guess at how you had to let a bunch of children handle your problems for you."

The Elements were all taken aback by how I so rudely treated their princesses, however Celestia seemed unfazed, just like a royal pain in the ass would," What are you doing back here....demon?"

I waggled my finger in the air," Uh uh uh, we both know that is not what I told you to call me. My name is," I began to rise from my seat, increasing my voice so that it shook the whole castle, "ALUCARD, THE KING OF THE VAMPIRES, THE NO LIFE KING, THE IMMORTAL MONSTER," I brought my voice back down to level, as I smirked," but you my call me TheCrimsonFucker!" 

Seemingly not in the mood for my witty banter, Luna brought out her moon, sword, thing and lept at me, trying to cut me in half. Rather than dodge I grabbed the blade with my bare hands, and pulled towards me, bringing Luna in close. We were just about face to face, I could smell her blood and smiled," Awww, I'm so sorry Luna. So nobodies popped your cherry yet?" 

She blushed about as red as an apple, and jumped back, leaving her sword with me," Why are thou back?! We had thought ye gone forever." 

"Tut tut Luna," I said while I inspected my sword," you of all people should know that things such as myself do not simply go away. Isn't that right Nightmare Moon?" They all seemed to gasp, while Celestia stepped forward, eyes burning with white fire.

She switched to that weird magical voice of hers whenever she needs to speak really loudly(what was it, the Royal Canterlot Voice, yeah that was it!)," DO NOT CALL MY SISTER THAT! THAT PART OF HER LIFE IS OVER! SHE IS GOOD ONCE AGAIN!"

I began to laugh loudly, loud enough to challenge her RCV," GOOD?! I THINK YOU MEAN NEURTALIZED! I ANALYZED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY THE LAST TIME YOU USED THEM ON ME, AND LET ME TELL YOU, THOSE THINGS ARE A WEAPON!" For the first time since I began talking, Celestia looked surprised. Not at what I just said though, but at the fact that I had figured her out.

Twilight approached her mentor. I could read her like a book, she was sad, confused, and afraid. Sad because she noticed how Celestia had reacted to what I just said. Confused at how I knew both of the princesses, and afraid because of how easily I through off princess. Not only that, but I emerged, unscathed. "Celestia...what does he...mean?" she asked her voice shaking, afraid of the answer.

"Twilight, listen to me-" Twilight cut her off," Princess, is he telling the truth?" 

Celestia said nothing and looked away. 

Twilight began walking away from her teacher, muttering "nononononono." The rest of her friends were in about the same state, all of them sitting on the floor, saying things like "It's not true." "Am...am...I a kil- kil-" "But...they just eliminate the evil in them, right?" 

The only one who seemed to be in a good state of mind, was Pinkie," Well it's about time!" All of the ponies, including Sunbutt and Moonbutt, looked at her, as her fur began to take on a more grey color. Her eyes became dark circles, with red dots in the middle of them. Her hair straightened and she moved a bit of it over one eye to cover it up, as her face got a sadistic grin on it, and she pulled a knife from out of her mane," Seriously, I was wondering when you idiots were going to wise up to it."

Everyone backed up from her(except for me, who was still grinning like a maniac), especially Rainbow, who was crawling away and shaking her head frantically. Pinkie looked in her direction, her voice sounding much more demonic," Hello Rainbow, so good to see you again." 

"Pinkie....what's.." Twilight started before Pinkie stopped her with by pointing her knife at her," Don't call me that fucking stupid name! I only took that fucking idiots body and name so I could fool you all. Call me by my real name-" "SCP Pinkamena," I finished for her.

She turned towards me, knife firmly held in her right hand, "Aw, so the author gave you knowledge of me did he?" she said while getting closer to the throne. My grin went wide, happy with the fact that I'll get to have some fun, "Oh yes he did, he figured that you could entertain me for a little. By the way do you know who the author is?" 

"I can't say I do, I can't sense the same, 'feeling', from him like the others, tell me who is he?" I began to laugh once again," Here I'll spell it out for you, A-L-U-C-A-R-D, bitch!" Then, based on the feelings I got from her, she felt something she never thought she would feel in a long time, fear. "That's right dipshit, the character I'm playing as is the one who's writing this drek! Which means your fourth wall powers won't work here."

"We'll see about that!" She growled while grabbing a bit of the text and trying to wack me over the head with it. I merely grabbed the text while running towards her shouting "IT'S NO USE!" Then she stabbed me with her knife, and began to lock eyes with me. I could feel her exerting her jump scare power on me, trying to make me back off. But I simply grabbed her by the face, lifted her up, and slammed the bitch into the floor, cracking the stone. With my maniacal grin still plastered on my face, I began to stomp her head in, making sure to say with each stomp," Bitch. I'm. Fucking. Alucard. I. Don't. Feel. Fear. I. Create. It!" Soon, she regained her senses and dodged out from under my feet, and jumped back, hoping to get some distance on me. I took out my Jackal, teleported behind her, and fired at her right leg. The leg came off in a spectacular shower of blood, and she screamed bloody murder as her jump faltered, and she skid towards the door. I began to slowly walk my way towards her like a boss, and watched as she struggled with her leg. "God Dammit, why isn't it healing?!" She looked up at me as I towered over her," Did you really think I wouldn't upgrade my arsenal while I was in that cave? I teleported to the castle without Sunbutt knowing it, and kidnapped a pony who specialized in enchantments. I had him take my bullets and enchant them with dragon magic so they can hurt anything on this planet. How did I get dragon magic you ask, well, the cave I was hold up in, originally belong to a dragon. I killed him and took it. And the only reason no one ever knew, is because I erased the poor saps memory of it ever happening."

I grabbed her by her neck and brought her up to my eyes, "Now, creepypasta, I think it's about time you went to sleep." "Y-you can't kill me! If you absorb me, my soul will just track down Schrodinger and finish you off from the inside," She said defiantly. I smiled, showing off all of my fangs, "No, I don't think so, see I made a precaution just in case something like that happened, now then, NOM NOM NOM NOM!" I said as I bit into her neck, the sweet taste of virgin blood flowing into my mouth, as I absorbed her soul. Her body convulsed a bit, then went slack as the last of her life force was absorbed. I dropped the corpse, wiped the blood from my mouth, and turned towards the remaining mares, still staring on in shock, "Now, if you will all excuse me," I pulled out my pistols as I began to walk out the door," I'm going to go take another walk." 

With that the door slammed shut, leaving behind silence and 4 shocked ponies, and 3 alicorns.




SCP Pinkamena looked at her surroundings. There was nothing but blackness as far as the eye could see. In every direction, blackness. She shrugged," Eh doesn't matter. All I gotta do is walk around and sooner or later- what was that?" She listened closely, she could here footsteps coming from, somewhere. It was hard to tell, the steps seemed to echo in the darkness. She prepared her knife for combat, "Whose there?" 

"Are you the new soul here?" a voice said from behind her. She turned around.....and immediately fell on her ass. 

In front of her, was one of the few people in the multiverse who could shatter her soul and end her for good.

Akuma.

He looked to the sky, "This is another one for our deal Alucard, 1,000 more and you and I have a rematch." Then he got into his stance, and unleashed the Raging Demon. SCP Pinkamena's life, ended right there.





Sitting on his throne, the real Alucard laughed as he just finished writing Pinkamena's fate. "Alucard, what the hell are you doing?!" shouted Integra from above him. "Oh nothing you old bat, just some writing."
> Chapter 2: His Shining Moment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	After leaving the Throne Room, I was set upon by, you guessed it, more guards. Each one was more generic than the last, with their same old golden armor and golden spears. However, this time most of them had gotten smart and didn't just rush me at first. In fact, they did try some hit and run attacks where they would charge at me, stab me, then back off. However, apparently they still weren't aware of two things. One, every hit they scored on me instantly healed(seriously I don't know how they didn't notice that). And two, my guns were ranged weapons. There were about, twenty guards in a circle with me at the center. I merely pointed the Jackal in front of me and the Casul, upside down, behind me.Then, I let loose with a  hail of bullets while spinning in circles. My .38 millimeter, mercury tipped, explosive, silver, blessed and magically enchanted bullets, easily cut through their flimsy golden armor. Their blood created a mist as heads, arms, and legs came off in a beautiful shower of blood. Soon, all of the golden guards were dead.

Smiling, I began to continue the walk out of the castle, when I heard the sound of wings behind me. I turned around and hovering above me were about five of Luna's Threstral guards(fanfic knowledge sorry if I spelled that wrong).

"Oh hello there! Say did you guys come from some kind of goth pony convention? Cause you sure do look the part," I jeered at them. However, they didn't seem to acknowledge my insults, "Oooooo strong silent types eh? I heard the chicks did that." One of them tried to dive bomb me, but I sidestepped the attack. Then, I ducked avoiding another attack from an incoming threstral, while blocking the incoming sword of the first attacker with my hand. He had tried to catch me off guar by spinning on his heel and coming around for another pass. Apparently he was surprised that I caught his blade, he was further surprised when I threw him at the second attacker, then fired the Casul at his head. The bullet went through his head and hit the second attacker's head as well. Then, sensing danger, I flattened my hand, and swung it in an arc behind me, decapitating the remaining three threstrals.

"Enough, foul beast!" I heard someone shout from the bottom of the stairs. From the sound of the voice, it was a male, and there were only two males who I can think of that would try and fight me after what I've done. I smiled as I turned, and looked upon Shining Armor and Flash Sentry. 

Shining spoke again, "I have come hear on behalf of my aunt in law! Flash flew to me and told me all about your deeds evil one! Now, we shall work together and avenge our fallen comrades!" afterwards, him and Flash both drew out swords that shined in the sunlight(my way of saying that sunlight doesn't affect me).The swords seemed to be made of the same moon material that Luna's sword(which I kept by the way) was. Then they both pulled out massive square tower shields that covered their whole bodies. Both of them grinned, then their jaws dropped when they saw my reaction.....clapping.

"Oh my, great speech, and highly unoriginal. That's totally from some kind of story told to you by your parents, am I right?"

Shining seemed flustered," N-no it isn't! I came up with it myself, about a month ago!"

"Whatever, also just because your dicks are small doesn't mean you have to overcompensate by carrying those giant shields."

Flash answered, "Our, um, 'privates' are not miniscule! And besides, it's not the size of the tool, but how you use it!"

Shining bopped him on the head with the handle of his sword," You idiot, now he knows about our, um, 'problems."

I was just about to say something, when I heard the tell tell sound of wings coming from behind me again. I dodged to left, and saw Rainbow Dyke herself launch pass me, and skid on the ground landing in front of Mr. and Mrs. Overcompensation. She got up rather quickly and glared at me, hatred filling her eyes. 

"Oh, what's wrong Tomboy, still trying to make sense of the fact that you're a stone cold killer?!" I shouted at her.

She began to shake her head, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You're just lying to me! The Princesses would never lie to us, and now, as the awesome Element of Loyalty, I'm going to kick your butt!"

Shining and Flash came up to the sides of her, Flash on the left, Shining on the right," Ha ha! Now, with an Element on our side, we shall strike you down creat-"

"Children's. Fairytale. Seriously, it's like you guys read that stuff religiously. Oh wait, with Celestia in charge, that is exactly what you do!" I interrupted. 

They were all quiet for a bit before Rainbow snatched Shining's sword, "You know what, Buck It, sword." 

"Sword? Gahhh!" Rainbow came at me while I was distracted, running me through with the sword she "borrowed". Flash was coming up behind her hoping to run me through as well( he had dropped the shield, probably hoping to get a speed advantage). But, I grabbed the arm Rainbow wasn't using, waited until Flash was almost upon us, then I twisted her arm around, creating a pony shield. 

Flash couldn't stop fast enough.

He impaled Rainbow Dash, right down to the hilt of his sword. Shock, surprise and horror were on both of their faces as they glanced up at each other then down at the sword, as if they couldn't accept what just happened. I then grabbed Luna sword(that was strung across my back) and stabbed straight through Rainbow Dash's heart, and into Flash Sentry's. I pulled myself off of Flash's sword, as he and Rainbow slumped to the floor on their knees. Then, they both fell over, dead in a growing pool of their own blood. 

I looked to Shining Armor and before he could even react, I teleported behind him. I put the Jackal up to the back of his head.

"Boom," I fired, making his head explode and sending gray matter and blood everywhere, "Headshot."

Looking around the room, I nodded, "Welp, I think I've caused enough havoc for one day, better head back," then I teleported back to my cave. I sat down in my throne, planning my next move.




It is said that when Twilight Sparkle and her friends discovered the bodies of the guards, Rainbow, Flash, and Shining, their screams were so loud, that the glass treasures in the Dragon Kingdom were broken.

Following these screams, there came a cold, dark laugh, that could only belong to a demon.
> Chapter 3: The Villlain's are next
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	K, so, I was chillaxing in my cave like a baller. After Twilight and her remaining friends had their little episodes, I went ahead and decided to spy on them a bit. It had been three days since I had killed Rainbow, Shining, Flash, and Pinkie, and yesterday they had their funerals. Overall, the entire thing was boring. Seriously, they were pretty much just like any funeral back on earth, only difference is that all four of the Princesses were there for it. They didn't see me of course, I was on one of Canterlot's spires, using my vampire sight to watch them from afar. There was the saying of the words, prayers, commendations, tears, blah, blah, blah. The only exciting thing that happened was when Applesmack and Candy both jumped onto Rainbow Dyke and Shining's graves, respectfully. It was very satisfying to watch as they had to be pulled out of the earth by their families. Of course afterwards I got bored and went back to my cave. 

I began shooting at two targets at the back of the cave. I had painted them with Dragon's blood, I figured that even though I'm Alucard, I should still keep my skills sharp. After, I had fired about 100 shots, all of which hit the bulls-eye by the way, I went back into the main room of my cave and came up with a cool plan. I wanted to test my Schrodinger abilities, and teleported to human earth. Sure enough I was back on my planet, in Texas. Grinning, I instantly teleported to the electronics section of the neighborhood Wal-Mart, and took one of the 70 inch plasma screen TVs. 

"Wow...." I heard a voice from behind me and turned around. I saw a teenage girl who seemed to be sort of goth by the look of it. The main thing I noticed though was her "Team Alucard" T-shirt. 

I smiled, knowing that I had made a fan girl very happy just now, "Sup bitch, names Alucard." She looked at my outstretched hand and fainted. Not wanting anyone to think that she would be lying in case she decided to brag to her friends, I picked her up and bit into her neck. It wasn't a blood gushing bite like I normally did with the ponies, just a small one, and because as it turns out she was a virgin, I decided that, I might as well have my own Seras Victoria. I injected my blood into her neck, and then teleported both of us back to my cave, where I gently set her down on the floor in front of me. I then teleported back, grabbed the TV, teleported back to the cave, and set it down on the ground. Now the only question was, how do I power it.

"Oh, I think I can help you with that," I heard a pop sound behind me and grinned, I was wondering when he would show up. I turned around and looked upon the anthro version of Discord, the God of Chaos. 

"Wow, took ya long enough with all of the chaos I've been creating," I said taunting the God.

"Yes, well, I was a bit busy having a feast of all of the delectable mischief you've been doing," Discord seemed a lot more serious than he usually is in the fan fics. "That's because, while I don't care about what you did to the two elements you killed or, that Shining punk and his friend, I do care about one thing," he teleported in front of me, or eyes locking together other. His burned with a hatred I'd never thought I would see in the God," YOU MADE FLUTTERSHY CRY! AND FOR THAT I WILL END YOU!" he said his voice taking on a more menacing tone. 

I laughed in his face, "Oh Discord! I knew you had gone soft, but I didn't think it was that soft!" 

Discord floated away, a smile on his face, "Laugh while you can, Jack," he said with a lot of venom in his voice, "But with all the chaos you have created, I am more powerful  than ever before! Arise, my servants!" Black mist began to fall out of his claws, and condense on the floor in front of him. My throne was a few feet away so, I was easily able to make out the figures he had summoned. And just as I thought, he had summoned Equestria's Motely crew of third-rate villians.

Nightmare Moon, Sombra, Tyrek, Trixie, Sunset, and Chrysalis. They all looked around, confused, wondering why they're here. Discord got in front of them, "I shall explain everything later, right now, I need you to kill this guy!" He pointed his claw at me," and if you do, I will return Tyrek and Sombra to life, Nightmare Moon will have a body separate from Luna,Trixie and Sunset will have enough power to rival Twilight's, and Chrysalis will have all of the Love power her hive needs." They all looked to the God of Chaos, at each other, nodded, and began to advance upon me. All of them, including Discord, charged up a very powerful magical beam, and fired it at me. The beam ripped through my body, turning my arms and legs into bloody messes, but yet somehow still keeping them usable. Discord began to laugh, "See Jack! You maybe Alucard. But even you can't stand up to the power of all of the Villians of Equestria and a God!"

I merely laid there on my throne and said, "Really? Really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really."

My head shot back to face Discord and his crew, "Really?!"

"Really!"

I put my hands in a rectangle in front of my eye, "Releasing Control Restrictions Level 1."

"Wait Level what?" they all said in unison. I felt the power of the hound of Baskerville be unleashed, as my body began to put itself back together. The power of darkness coursed through me as my eyes filled every corner of the cave. I aimed the Jackal and fired six shots, severing the legs of Discord's crew. Discord tried to retaliate, but I already had his head and neck in my hands. 

"H-h-how are you doing this!? You're not a God! You can't kill me!" Discord said his voice shaking with uncertainty. 

"No, but even Gods have souls, and I absorb souls. NOM NOM NOM!" I shouted as I sunk my teeth into Discord's neck, draining his life force and soul. Soon, he was just a husk and I threw him down, turning my attention to the six others who were trying to crawl away. I glided in front of them stopping them in their tracks. I blew Tirek and Sombra's heads off with two quick shots from the Jackal leaving only the females left. I moved fast and ripped off each of their horns, not wanting them to teleport away. "Now, my dear bitches, you have two choices," I raised two fingers in the air. "One, I can kill you and drink your souls, or you can give up and become my servants."

Chrysalis spat in face, "Do you really think any of us would agree to that? Besides, we have you outnumbered, you can't just kill us all.

I froze for a bit at that and looked at Chrysalis. All of them had smug looks on their faces. Those vanished when I teleported over to Chrysalis and held her by her throat, "You wanna know why you can't tell me what I can and can't do? BECAUSE BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!"




Discord and the females looked around in the darkness they were in, not seeing anyway out. "Well this is just fantastic The Great and Powerful Trixie, should never have agreed to helping you Discord."

Discord waved her off, "Don't worry about it Lulamoon, all me and Nightmare have to do is find out where Schrodinger's soul is, then we can take Jack out from the inside."

"I don't think so, God of Chaos," said a voice that was laced with anger and hatred. Discord gulped he knew that voice. It was Akuma. 

"Never mind, we're screwed." 

Akuma Raging Demoned them all into next week.
	
> Chapter 4: You Just Got Jacked!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Caroline, Cara to her friends, was an average girl. Nothing really special about her, she just went through the motions of everyday life.....


Blah, blah, blah, frickin blah! How about I just summarize it for you? The goth girl I picked up isn't actually goth. She once fought off 5 guys trying rape her and her friend Amy or some shit. Once she was 13 she started getting into anime. She doesn't have a specific favorite, she just watches them because, their cool. She also has a reason to hate bronies and MLP. The reason being that some dumbass bronies, have the nerve to call MLP an anime! That is not an anime, it is a stupid, girly, TV show, that guys have no business watching, unless it's a parody to make fun of the show. Another reason why it's not an anime, is the whole, 'One episode' thing. In animes, sometimes, whenever there is a filler episode, the episode still somehow connects to the actual overall plot. While in MLP, one episode, boom everything's forgotten and is only mentioned once or twice. Now I'm not saying that all animes don't do that, just the majority that I have seen(Fairy Tale, Hellsing Ulitmate, Slayers, One Piece, Bleach, and Naruto). Where was I, oh yeah, and besides that, she came to that Wal-Mart looking at the Plasma TVs, and you know the rest. In case you're wondering how I knew her name was Cara, I shifted through her memories a bit while she was unconscious.

Now back to the story. So I was just sitting in my throne, watching some Sword Art Online(it's magic! I ain't gotta explain shit!), when Caroline finally started getting up. She was lying on the floor, so she sat up and the first thing she saw was me in my throne. I looked her in the eyes and smiled, "Sup bitch."

She rubbed her eyes and did a double take, "So it wasn't a dream," he voice sounded like a mixture of Australian and American, "You really are Alucard."

"Not exactly, miss A Cup," I said standing up and walking to around her still sitting form, my hands behind my back. She was still wearing the 'Team Alucard' T-Shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and purple rimmed glasses. "You see, I am a cos-player named Jack. Back on earth, my friend and I went to an anime expo as Alucard and Walter. I didn't have Alucard's guns, until I met this guy called, The Merchant." I stopped walking for a sec, "You ever read any of those LoHAV fan fictions?" She nodded slowly, still dumbfounded by the current situation. "Well, apparently they're all true, and I have recently joined their ranks as a human cos-player come to Equestria, an anthro version my I add. So far, I have killed Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Discord, and every single last 'villian' Equestria has had over the years. All anthro versions."

She gasped as I said this, "So it was you...."

A puzzled look crossed my face, "What do you mean, it was me?"

Then she began to explain. Apparently back on my earth the brony and MLP fanbase was in an uproar. All of the anthro versions of the cast, were disappearing. This included, fanfic created, show created, heck even fan art created ones. All of the ones I killed were just gone. Of course most of the bronies got angry, but the rest of the world just didn't really care. And besides, if they ever did launch a rebellion, I'm pretty sure, the tanks, bombs, plans, and guns, would cut them down. I placed my hand on my chin, deep in thought. Then suddenly, it hit me like a sack of apples, and I began to laugh, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW I UNDERSTAND!" I looked up into the sky, "YOU CRAZY, MERCHANT, BASTARD!"

Caroline seemed a little frightened by my sudden mad laughter, "What, are you talking about?" She had since gotten up off the floor and stood. She just about reached my chest, hmm. Oh, also, her hair was black and long, reaching her ankles.

"Have you ever heard of the multiverse theory and the prime planet theory?" I asked her. She nodded, so I continued, "Well apparently there is in fact an extra attachment to the prime planet theory."

She got this confused look on her face, "What?"

"We are in a prime Equestria, just not The prime Equestria. This is a prime Equestria for the anthroverse of MLP. This was most likely created when that God awful, movie Equestrian Girls came out. This world is the start of that world, and all the worlds spanned from it, while it in itself, is a spawn from the prime Equestria."

She seemed to understand, "Wait, then that means..."

"If we were to destroy this Equestria, it would eliminate every single anthro Equestria ever made!" I said shouting into the ceiling my fist in the air.

Caroline looked excited, then confused, "Wait, we?" It was then that she felt her neck and found the bite marks. She gasped in shock, "You turned me?"

I, for once in my life, looked embarrassed, and began looking at the floor, "Well, yeah. For one thing, I figured that if I left you on earth and you told everyone you saw me, no one would believe you and I couldn't put you through that. Another thing is, that, while I may look like Alucard, and act like the TFS version of him, I'm still Jack." I turned, putting my back to her, "If you want me to take you back to earth I can, I'm the Schrodinger Alucard. I just can't, change you back, I'm sorry."

I couldn't see her face, but I did hear her voice, "This....is....soo....cool!"

I turned back around, shocked that she was actually bouncing up and down, "Seriously?"

"Yeah! I always wanted to be a fuck mothering vampire like Seras from the show! Now I can be!"

"You do realize that in order to get those powers, you're going to have to drink an anthro pony's blood? Also, how can a goth be so peppy?"

She stopped bouncing, but the smile remained on her face, "Oh, I'm not actually goth, I just wear this to get people to leave me and Amy alone! Oh and don't worry about Amy, I taught her some of my close quarters moves, so she can handle herself. Plus, I have absolutely no problem killing this fuckers! I'm mean come on! Can you believe that some fucking bronies consider them an anime?!"

"I know right! It's sick is what it is! Oh by the way, what about your family?"

Her smile faded from her fact, "My mom and dad passed away when I was ten. They both had Cancer. The doctors say I was lucky I didn't get a case of it."

I put my hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes, "I'm sorry for your loss." I let go and smiled again, "But for right now, how's about we celebrate by watching some SAO?"

Caroline's smile came back bigger than ever, "You've got SAO? That's one of, in my opinion, the best animes ever!" I smiled and led the way back to my throne.

I sat down and picked up the remote, but stopped and turned to Caroline, "By the way, I never got your name."

"Oh, it's Caroline, but you can call me Cara!" That settled, I was about to turn on the TV, when the entire cave wall that was behind it, exploded towards us. Luckily, neither of us were hurt, but the TV was totally trashed. I looked forward and saw the culprits. 

Applejack and Gilda.

Cara and I stood up and walked over to them both, me in the lead. I stopped when I was about 5 feet from them. "That was a 70 inch, Plasma Wide Screen TV." I took a deep breath in, and smiled, "So, how can I help you."

Applejack was the first to speak, venom in her voice, " I finally found ya, ya bucking varmit!"

Gilda was next(by the way their both anthro, I don't really want to describe them, so use your imagination. All I'll say is, they have big breast like anime girls), talons extended and claws out to both sides. Her voice was just as hateful as AJs, "You must be Alucard."

"Sssssuuuuuup."

Gilda looked to my right and saw Cara, "So who's this? Your new whore?"

Cara walked so she could be next to me, "No, but at least I would make a better one than you ya bimbo."

"Oh, are you so sure about that?"

"I know that I could get Rainbow Dash under me," she said with a smile.

"You watch your mouth," Gilda almost screeched.

"Actually, you should watch yours, after all, judging by the feelings I'm sensing from you, yours has certainly 'been around'".

Gilda's cheeks turned a shade of red I didn't even think they could turn. I looked at my prodigy in awe, "You can sense that, and you haven't even drunken yet?"

"I'm a fast learner," she said with a smirk.

I turned back to Gilda, "You might want some Aloe Vera, cause that was a burn."

Applejack decided to join back in, "Look, non' a' this matters now! We came here to 'ave a serious fight! And we are tryin' ta' be serious!"

"Oh so are we, and we are failing. And for that we are sorry. It's just that we're so agitated. Cus' these blonde and white haired little bitches, strolled into our cave! Destroyed our 70 inch, Plasma TV! And now there trying to talk to us, like we're their alcoholic parents." Applejack sped towards me, her fist going for a right haymaker, while Gilda flew up and swooped down at Cara. I took out my guns and pointed the Jackal at AJ's head, stopping her in her tracks. While Cara met Gilda's charge, her hands getting wrapped in Gilda's talons, but stopping her decent. "Now be some sports and go get us some more bear would you?"

I'm not sure how she did it, but somehow Applejack dodged my shot at her head, and backed up. I rushed after her, knowing that Cara would be fine. 

Suddenly, Applejack took out two necklaces. I recognized them, they were the Elements of Honesty and Loyalty. "What do you plan to do with those? Try and blind me with them?!"

Applejack raised both of the necklaces high, "No pardner. I'm gonna fight you on your own terms! Dash! Please, give me strength!" Then, she crushed both the Elements. A blinding light surrounded Applejack, illuminating every dark corner of the cave. I stared at it straight on, my glasses shielding me from the light, with their pure badassery. When the light faded, where once stood Applejack, stood a Demon version of her(think of Sunset from the movie, but tall enough to cover the hole they made in the cave, which is big enough to fit an army through, naked, and with blue and red fire forming her hair). She looked at me, pure firey hatred in her eyes, "Now, I will avenge RD! And you will die here, ALUCARD!"

She jumped toward me, her fist raised, probably hoping to squash me in one shot. I didn't even move. I stuck out my right hand, rushed forward, and impaled her through the chest. Her heart was in my hand still beating as I brought her face up to mine. "You damned fool. Only a man, can kill a monster such as me. I ,however, am a monster that kills monsters, just like you," and with that, I ripped my hand out and crushed her heart.





'Sorry RD, guess ah' won't be avengin' ya afterall. Hopefully 'Bloom 'n 'Mac can handle the farm without me. But don't worry, ah'll be there soon.'

"My love."




Applejack's body fell forward and hit the floor with a quiet thud. All was silent as the body began to burn away into cinders. I looked towards Cara's direction, and was surprised.





While Jack ran at AJ, I twirled around in circles and threw Gilda at the cave wall. Not wanting to waste a second, I ran in, using my vampire speed to get there quickly. I began to pound Gilda with a series of left and right punches to the body, and head. Using my strength in tandem with my speed, my blows kept connecting faster than Gilda could keep up with. Eventually, she managed to headbutt me, and sent me back a few steps. She flew to the left of me and tried to swing a claw at my neck. However, her body was damaged and she was too slow with the attack, giving me a way to grab her arm and twist it. I heard the bone break at the same time Gilda screeched. I grabbed her neck and brought her up to my face. That was when I lost it. The aroma of her fear and sweat, mixed with sadness, oh it was so delectable. I didn't even register the flash of light I saw coming from Jack's direction, all I could think about was Gilda's blood. 

I opened my mouth wide, and chomped down. The blood had a normal, metallic taste nothing special, but it was still the best drink I had ever had. I not only felt Gilda's blood flow into me, I felt her memories, her experiences, her very soul flow into me. It was in that moment, I truly understood what it meant to feed.

Soon, the corpse was all drained out and I threw it to the ground. I looked myself over, no real changes, except for the fact that I had wings! What was cool was they looked dark red and had ethereal blades coming out of them, making up the spines. I'm not sure, but I think they're as long as a dragon's. I looked over to Jack and saw him smiling at me, "Well done Cara! Now then, it's time to get you your prize."

He disappeared from sight. I wondered where he was going to, and what the prize was. When he came back, my jaw dropped to the floor.

"I figured I'd give my bitch a cannon. Cause after all, Bitches Love Cannons!"
> Chapter 5: New allies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Celestia was not happy.

No, that's an understatement......

She was down right pissed.

Made evident by the fact that she was currently banging her head against the wall of her bedroom. In an attempt to get rid of her searing migraine caused by Alucard. She stopped only after she felt a warm trickle of blood down her forehead enter her right eye. She turned away from the wall and sat on her bed, head in her hands. So far, she had five pressing matters that may well bring about her and Equestria's end.

One was, of course, ALUCARD! Just thinking about him caused her hands to clench so tight, the nails dug into them, drawing blood. So far, he has only just come back three days ago, and already he has killed three Element bearers, killed Candance's husband, taken out Equestria's military might by half, and turned her former student into a sobbing wreck. He has been very inactive as of late, but you really have to define 'inactive.' She's gotten reports of entire towns disappearing in the night, no one seeing a thing and no survivors. Not only that, but according to Fluttershy, she has been getting a rare surge in refugee creatures from the Everfree. She has gotten everything from an cockatrice to Ursa Major babies! That and he continually sends Celestia 'letters', on a day to day basis. By griffon no less, they just drop in from the sky riddled with massive holes, barely alive! 

Celestia sighed and looked over at his latest 'message':

Dear SunBitch,

I am merely calling to remind you of your imminent demise. In case you're wondering about the frequency in which I send these letters, well it is merely to install as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey, that I will then proceed to have sex with. That's right! I'm FUCKING THE FEAR TURKEY!

Yours, The Crimson Fucker

AKA Aluard.

On top of that, they tried looking him up, to find out how to beat him. Surprisingly the Royal Library, did in fact have a book on Alucard. However, it was no help at all. Mainly because, the only thing it said was:

If it's Alucard with purple eyes, you're screwed.

Two and three, with Equestria's military might weakened as it is, and with the Elements out of commission, the other kingdoms were starting to get greedy. She already had reports of griffons encroaching on her land, her poorly trained, and outnumbered military not being able to hold the line. 

Fourth was Twilight and the remainder of her friends. Celestia got up and began pacing the room. She wasn't in anything except her white undergarments(I hope you bronies who like this short of thing get a kick out this description, cause it's last one I'm gonna do like it, unless the story calls for it). Currently, her former student was in her library/home in her room, at least according to what Spike told her. She had refused to come out of the room for anything, not even when Celestia offered her the entire Royal Library. The young alicorn wouldn't speak to anyone, and whenever someone got close to her, she would blast them with magic, fix the door and lock it back. Normally, Celestia would be impressed at her magical prowess, but now was not the time. She was still reeling from the deaths of four of her friends, and the other two weren't much help. Rarity was caring for the CMC, Applebloom having lost her sister, and Scootalo having lost her surrogate sister. Both Rarity and Sweetie Bell were doing their best to console the two fillies, but nothing was working. Fluttershy, seemed to have withdrawn into her animals, finding solace in the fact that they were still alive. She refused to leave them or her cottage even for a minute, and with constant new arrivals, her schedule is pretty much full.

Finally, there was her sister, Luna. She had become-distant. During the day she seems less peppy, and seems to forget things easily. During the night, she was always up and about, never quite sitting still in one place. Plus, she had stopped eating any of the food given to her by the castle staff, but Celestia had seen her staring at some of the castle staff and her. The look in her eyes almost looks like, hunger, or realization. It was almost like when she was turning into NIghtmare Moon.

Celestia stopped pacing. No it couldn't be that, she'd nipped that rose in the bud, years ago.




"Sister! Now you shall pay for what you did to father, and we shall save this world from your tyrannical ideas!

"People can't change Luna! There is no evil turning good, there is only evil and good!"

"You're wrong! We will not let you corrupt this world with your schemes and lies!"

"Then, you leave me no choice!"

"Wait! What are you...?! Stop it! It buuuuuurrrrnssss!"

"Die foul beast! Begone from my sister, and join mother and father in the Abyss!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"




That was something else that troubled her, how had Alucard known the truth about the Elements? Well he was blasted with them, so maybe-but then, how did he analyze them? Could he had somehow 'felt' what the blast was like? On top of that, what did he do to Luna all those years ago. She only started acting like after Alucard bit her and left. Now it's starting again, only this time, Celestia doesn't have the Elements.




Luna was restless. She kept pacing the floor, stopping a couple of times to look at the moon, as if wondering if it was still day out. She had been having weird dreams as of late. Dreams that seemed a little too real, almost like memories. However, if these were memories, where had they come from? She could remember getting bitten by Alucard, then she went back to the castle with her sister to rest. She remembered waking up, and finding a stallion of one of the noble families courting her. She went along with it, they got to the bedroom, but as soon as the lights went out.....she.....bit him....with....her fangs. Luna's head started to hurt a little, but she kept going eager to learn what was going on. Then, she....dr-dr-unk-his blood and soul. All of a sudden, Luna's room fell apart. Her bed, closet, everything, just fell into a dark void, where no light reached. She looked around frantically, until she heard a familiar voice behind her," Took ya long enough!"

She spun around, and there standing in front of her, was none other than Alucard, "Did ya miss me?!" She reached to her hip for a weapon, but then remembered something, she had yet to get dressed that night. She quickly covered herself, when she heard Alucard laugh, "Whatever state you're currently in, don't worry about me seeing anything. This is just an imprint I left in your head when I bit you. I figured SunBitch would've caused you to lose all of your memories after I went away, so I left this here for when you remembered when you first drunk someone's soul. If you want to learn the rest, come find me in the Everfree forest, at these coordinates." Luna felt a location being implanted in her head. A cave deep within the forest, right next to the old Palace. "Oh and bring your most trusted thestrals with you. Byeeee." And with that Luna's room returned, and she instantly got dressed using her magic. She mainly just put on full body armor, in case this was a trap. She then called for her three most loyal thestrals,"Black, Dark, Shadow!" 

All three came out of the shadows, seeming to materialize from them. These soldiers each only had one name, for that shows that they are the best of the best. They are so devoted to Luna, that they have given up their family names, only wishing to serve Luna from the shadows. Black, the leader, spoke, "What do you wish of us, my princess?" They all were the equivalent of ninja armor, made by the Nieghponies, the only difference being the golden, sliver, and bronze stars, showing their ranks, respectfully.

Luna turned back to them, "We are heading out. We are the only ones who know of this excursion, and there is a chance we might not come back. You are all welcome to leave if you want to. I will not force you to come."

All three bowed, "We live to serve you princess, we shall go wherever you need us."

Luna smiled, "Alright, move out!" Luna's horn started to glow, and a dark blue bubble formed around the four. And then they were gone with a pop.




There I was, sitting in my throne minding my own business. Really I was! I was pretty bored today. I mean, Cara mastered her vampire powers so quickly, that she can now take those swords on her wings and turn them into chainsaws. I guess bitches don't just love cannons, but chainsaws too. After killing off all those towns, killing just about every monster in the Everfree, and taking out any and all mercs, assassins, or dignitaries, sent by the kingdoms to kill or negotiate with me, things were pretty slow. 

That is, until just now, "Master, the guests you were waiting for are here."

I turned around and smiled. There stood Cara, in a new blood red Seras outfit(don't ask me she requested it), Luna in her full body, moonlight armor, and her three ninja thestrals. "Ah, Luna my sweet! Welcome to my humble cave!"

"What do you want?" Luna asked wanting to get straight to the point.

I stood up from my throne, taking small steps towards her, "Oh it's not what I want, it's what you need."

One of the thestrals came forward, his arm in front of Luna, "If you dare harm the princess-"

"Oh you'll what? Call that guy who can stop me? What was his name again? Michael Mc Doesn't Exist?!"

Luna stepped around the thestral, putting a hand on his shoulder, "It's alright Black, stand down." The thestral, now known as Black, hesitated before complying. 

"There ya go, Mr. Knock off Ninja! Now, I believe you wanted to ask me something, Luna?"

She stepped forward, her eyes trying to glare into mine, which she couldn't really do since she only reached up to my chest, "You said you could, interpret these dreams We keep having."

"Damn right I can bitch, just hold still, " I then slammed the palm of my right hand into the left side of her face. The thestrals tried to move, but Cara stepped in front of them. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, " she said while rotating her swords, them being to make a revving sound.  

It only took a couple seconds, then I released Luna and she fell to her knees panting. "So, do you remember now, Nightmare Moon?"

Luna, no, NIghtmare, looked up at me, her eyes different colors. Her right eye was the original color of Luna's, while her left was the green reptilian kind that symbolizes NIghtmare Moon. She began to stand up, noticeably able to stand up to my neck now, "Yes, We do. But if you don't mind, call us by our new name."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

"Nyx."

"Kinda cliche if you ask me, but whatever. Now you thestrals," I said, my gaze shifting towards the three half ponies. They all looked shocked to see their princess like this. "Hey assholes!" At my shout they looked at me, "Get ready, it's time to think about the past."

I then into storyteller mode, my figure turning completely dark, as the scenes played out behind me. "3,042 years ago, I was once a human dressed up as Alucard. I met up with an Merchant who gave me my guns, and thus teleporting me here, with all of Alucard's powers. After practicing with my powers a bit, I instantly teleported to where Ponyville would be. I killed a couple guards, when Celestia and Luna showed up, and tried to use the Elements on me."

"Wait," Black said, "You're telling me you-"

"Interrupt me like that again Blacky! See what happens! But anyway, I ended up biting Luna, and turning her into a vampire, aka who SunBitch calls, NIghtmare Moon. She wasn't out of her mind or under anyone's control, she just realized that her sister planned to rule this place through trickery."

Nyx stepped in at this point, "It is true, our subjects. We discovered that from the beginning, our sister had planned to use the Elements to kill us and take the throne herself. But she knew she could not do it without making us seem like the bad guys. Acting without planning, we confronted our sister, and she used the Elements to try to kill us. However, Luna escaped, and hid on the moon, where she began trying to nurse us back to health. Now We are back, but, not at full power. Any questions?"

One of the thestrals raised his hand, "Yes, how would the Elements kill you?"

"They used to be benevolent artifacts, Dark, but ever since our sister got them, she has corrupted them. How else would Sunset Shimmer be able to use them to turn into a demon? If the Elements were so good, why would she be able to do something like that?"

Dark looked thoughtful for a moment, before quieting down. I spoke up, "Alright anything else?" When no one rose their hands, I shouted, "Alright, Nyx tell them why they're here!"

She looked at her troops, a warm comfort in her eyes, "We need you here to help us get back to full power. We need blood to drink in order to regain our strength. However, We don't have the same restraint as Alucard, as such if we bite you, we would turn you into vampires, like us. If you don't want to do that, then you are free to leave."

Each of the thestrals took only a second to decide, before they all got on one knee and bowed, "We will follow you to the ends of Equs, my lady."

I shouted to the sky, "ALRIGHT PEOPLE! LETS LOCK AND LOAD!" 
	

	
> Chapter 6: Alucard takes a walk
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	So, here I am. My entire being here culminates in this one moment. I am currently walking towards the Canterlot castle, ready for my final bout with SunBitch. To my right, I see Cara, her red Seras outfit on, and carrying a chainsaw made from the swords that make up her wings. I'll let you imagine what it looks like, I mean it's a chainsaw, made out of swords! With her are two of the three thestrals, now known to me as Dark and Shadow. They still looked like ninjas, except for the glint of their fangs in the moonlight. Yeah, Nyx turned all of her guards into vampires, was that important? I couldn't tell. But anyway, and on my left was Nyx, still in her full body armor from the cave, along with Dark, the thestral leader. We were at the castle gates at this point, the town far behind us, completely reduced to rubble. The bodies of our slain 'opposition' paved our path in blood, literally, the blood was like up to our ankles. Of course, the gate itself was locked, however this was not a problem.

I think it is appropriate to tell you exactly how we got here. Simply put, after arming Nyx, Cara, and the three thestrals, I just teleported us al there(Schrodinger powers are the shit). Once we arrived at the edge of the town, I myself began the charge with the most awesome battlecry ever, "LEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNKKKKKIIIINNSSSSS!" I dashed forward and just started shooting everywhere. Left, right, up, down, it didn't matter, wherever I shot, my bullet hit a pony and blew them to pieces. Soon enough I got tired of using my guns, and put them up, electing to use my overpowered left and right hands instead. I used them like swords, cutting through houses, ponies, architecture, everything that got in my way. The blood splattered against my face, as my smile was the last thing ponies saw, before I impaled them. The guards? They ran towards the gat, which was locked. So I went up to one of them and whisperd, "Wanna become some dead bodies?" Their screams were quickly silenced when I decapitated them all, fountains of blood shooting out from their necks. When their bodies fell, Cara, and the rest of 'em joined me at the gate, electing to fly over the carnage. And here we are now.

"Knock knock," I switched to a perfect imitation of SunBitches voice, 'Who's there?" I brought my right boot back, "ALUCARD! MOTHERFUCKER!" I slammed my boot against the gate, causing it to fly off its hinges, over the castle and straight over the mountain into 'Who gives a Fuckville!" Cara put her hands up in an 'It's good!" motion, while Nyx and her guards, just shook their heads.

"Seriously, Alucard, can't you be serious for once in your life?" Nyx said.

"One: I'm the 'No Life King' so technically I have no life, and two: bitch I'm Alucard what do you think?" 

"I think you are a very stubborn, boorish, and downright stupid individual, Alucard," this was said by a new voice. A voice that was right in front of our faces. We all turned towards the castle, and if my grin was wide before, it was absolutely splitting my face now.

Standing on a podium(wooden mind you) with her less than 1000 soldiers, trembling behind her, standing tall, glaring defiantly at The Crimson Fucker himself, was the SunBitch, Celestia, in full body armor.

And boy did she look pissed.

I began to slowly clap his hands, "Well done, SunBitch. You finally decided to grow some brass, and face me directly. Only after your sister and her best men joined me, I took out your nephew in law, three of the Elements, about half your military, and basically caused, what again?"

"Property damage, millions of civilian lives taken, billions of military lives taken, and just being plain rude," Celestia listed out. "I kept track."

"Ah, but you missed one, kidnapping!" At this point(somehow completely invisible to everyone present) were the three remaining Elements, all being held mid-air by their arms and legs, by shadowy red versions of my arms, presented to the crowd. 

Rarity seemed to be the only one putting up a fight, "Unhand me you-hands! How dare you treat a lady like this!" she continually spouted at the arms, doing no good what so ever. 

Fluttershy and Twilight both seemed to be in a state of shock. You could barely here Fluttershy mumble something along the line of "All.......animals........gone........they're.......all.......gone......" 

Twilight was the worst though. While Rarity and Fluttershy could still make coherent noises, she just seemed to stare into someplace far away, as if her very spirit had left her body long ago. The only one she seemed to focus on was Celestia, her eyes hoping against hope that this was all a dream and Celestia would make everything better in the morning. 

But tonight, the morning would never come.

"Alrighty, SunBitch, here's how this will go down. You can either one, give up, let me kill you, your soldiers, and the mane six , well three now, now and die with dignity. Or you can choose to fight me, sacrificing the mane three and your soldiers and pussin'out like a bitch! Silver lining, either way I won't have to order room service!" I ended my speech by licking my lips.

At this point Nyx decided to interject before I could take this any further, "It doesn't have to be this way sister. Just give up, and all will be spared."

Then, Celestia pulled a move that nobody, not even I(which made me very proud of myself at that moment) could've anticipated, "The Element bearers have served their purpose, and I trust my soldiers will as well. For the good of Equestria."

Silence permeated the air for a long while. Then the night was filled with a laugh. Some would consider this the laugh of the devil, the laugh that signaled the end for anyone caught in the origin's way. Others would call it a laugh from a monster killer, the laugh that gave them hope for the future. For the ponies, it was the laugh that proved that the end of Equestria was upon them.

It was MY laugh.

"I FINALLY DID IT! I MADE YOU GO OFF THE DEEP END! NOW KILLING YOU WILL BE EVER THE SWEETER, KNOWING THAT I AM THE ONE, WHO MADE WHO SOME WOULD CONSIDER A GODESS, TO FORSAKE HER OWN PEOPLE!" I shouted to the heavens as I pulled out my guns and brought the mane three down to the ground. I used my hands to bend them on their knees, as I lined them up, and shot them executioner style. I started from the left, Fluttershy, to Rarity, to Twilight Sparkle. As their grey matter and blood pooled on the dry earth, I pointed my weapons towards the soldiers, "Nyx, Cara, now!"

Cara rushed forth and brought her chainsaw to bare, heading towards the guards on the right side of the podium. She sped past Celestia and began tearing into rows upon rows of guards. The guard's morale instantly broke and they tried to escape, but Cara used her wings to launch swords at whoever dared to flee. Soon, the entirety of the right guard was dead. Blood covered the ground and Cara, as she got a mad look in her eyes. I knew that look, it was bloodlust.

Nyx on the other hand, was a bit less messy in her kill. I use the word 'less' loosely here because she took out the dual wield, anti tank rifles from Hellsing Ultimate! That's right bitches, I got that bitch dual wield cannons! Nyx took aim at both the left guard and the guards behind Celestia, "Even though this is very vulgar, in the words of Alucard, Bitches Love Cannons!" She pulled the trigger and where there were once guards, was now just a red mist.

Both Cara and Nyx came back to my sides, "Well, Celestia, what now? All your guards are dead, and you don't have the Elements anymore."

Even after everything that happened, Celestia still kept a straight face, "It is true, Alucard, I do not have the bearers or two of the Elements anymore, but I still have four!" She then began to draw out the four Elements still left(you'll remember while I killed Pinike, Applejack destroyed the Elements of Honesty and Loyalty. While its bearer was destroyed, laughter wasn't). She put on the first one and began to glow with a pinkie hue, "The first Element, Laugh-"

Before she could even finish, I shoved my flat hand through her heart, and placed the Jackal to her temple. She was still for a moment, slowly glancing down at my hand in her chest. Then she looked back up at me, our eyes meeting. In hers I saw disbelief, anger, and misery, but not a hint of regret. "Bitch did you really think I was just going to let you, do your little power up dance? You should've known better than that. In the end bitch, you should've checked your privilege." Then I shot her fucking head off, right before summoning Baskerville, and having him eat her entire corpse. Seriously, nothing was left, not even the blood.

I turned towards my assembled party and said what was probably my best line ever, "I just killed a God. Who wants tacos?"

And then everyone facepalmed, critics. 

After recovering, Nyx addressed me, "Thank you, Alucard. Now We shall rule in our sister's place and bring this world into a new era of peace."

"Yeah...funny thing about that, " then I teleported over to her and chomped down onto her neck, my fangs easily piercing through her armor, and draining both of the souls in her body.

It took a second for Nyx to really what was happening, but when she did it was too late, "What are you doing!?"

"Tying up lose ends," I hissed through my feeding. The thestrals tried to stop me, but Cara sliced their heads off with her chainsaw killing them instantly. How you may ask? They hadn't absorbed anybody's soul yet, so they were just normal vampires. 

Nyx tried to push me off, but I was stuck tight, and she wasn't going anywhere. Soon enough, both of her souls left her body, and all that was left, was a husk.

Then poof, nothing. The entire planet, just gone. 

Cara looked at me, clearly confused, "Um, master, what happened?"

I wiped my chin off and looked towards her, my rape face on, "Oh that's- hold on a second, " I looked towards the reader for a second, "Remember, this is just a theory that only works for my stories, including this one. I have no idea if this is actually how the multiverse works, or if there even is a multiverse, but you don't know either, so for those of you who keep saying I'm wrong, shut up! But those you giving me criticism and support, thank you." 

I then turned back to Cara, "Well you see, Cara, according to multiverse law, whenever the main cast of a world are killed the world disappears. This is because, the world's main objective is make sure that the main characters stay alive, unless they die for story purposes or you're in the Game of Thrones world. As such, I had to betray Nyx/Luna because if I hadn't, I wouldn't of been able to destroyed this place like I wanted to, because without main characters to protect, the world loses it's purpose, and as such stops exsiting."

Cara nodded her head, slowly understanding what I was saying, "Ok. Then, what do we do now?"

"Well that is easy, my draculina!" I then cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted out to the darkness, "To all who want to see ponies die, merely say my name five times forward and five times backwards, and I shall appear to add thee. If I deem ye worthy, I shall fight with you against the ponies. But if you are deemed unworthy, prepare to face my wrath! My name for all to here, is Alucard! AKA, The Crimson Fucker, on second thought, just say that three times and I'll show up." I waited until the echo faded away and turned back to Cara, "Now we just wait and see what comes up, oh and I  won't harm any LoHAV people, just help them. So wanna head back to earth until someone calls us?"

Cara fist pumped, "Oh fuck the Hell yes!"

And with that I teleported us back home, to our earth.




Later on, it was discovered that, all of the anthro versions of every MLP character had disappeared. No one could find anything about them on the internet. And whenever they tried to draw a new version, even the creator of the series, the paper would burst into flames. Scientist said they would look into it, but since it concerned bronies, most of them took a very, very, long time to get around to it. 

Throughout all of this, me and Cara were just living in a mansion, waiting for a call.