by Roman Empire

First published

Scatter Brain finally bucks up the courage to ask out his crush. How will it end?!

Young medical student Scatter Brain has lovesickness, and he has it bad. With a little advice, he finally plucks up the nerve to ask out the younger Ryuko Matoi (no relation to the Kill la Kill chick).

Will our hero get the mare of his dreams? Will he be left as many teens are?

Even I don't know - only time will tell.

...Why Not Today?

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Someday. That was what the young unicorn colt told himself. Getting out of bed, he stretched his legs and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Someday. He yawned and scratched his snout, then sparked his horn to get his magic flowing for the day.

Someday. He looked at the picture on his bedside stand and let out a dejected sigh. In the frame were two ponies. One was a stallion of about nineteen years. Unicorn, white coat, blue mane. He wore a stethoscope around his neck and his hoof was wrapped around another, smaller unicorn. This one was a filly, possibly about sixteen. She bore a purple coat and a black mane, though it was interrupted by a vibrant red bang. They both wore smiles, and appeared to be close to one another.

Someday. He picked up the frame and touched the filly’s cheek, frowning. There were other pictures around the nightstand - some with both ponies, some with only the purple one, but rest assured she appeared somewhere in each one. In many she was smiling. In a few, older ones, her muzzle was a bit thicker and her frown very pronounced.

Someday. Scatter Brain replaced the picture of he and his friend Ryuko on the table. He got out of bed and trotted down to his small kitchen. His home was a small and lonely. It had only the most bare bones furniture, as he had no taste for interior decoration or style. He sat at his table and ate a bowl of warm cereal. That one word echoed in his mind, plaguing him. Someday, I will ask her to be mine…

Downing the rest of his mediocre meal, Scatter tossed his dish into the sink and picked up his saddlebags from the rack by the door and took his umbrella in his blue magic. He trotted out the door and locked it behind him, then made his way through Canterlort towards the hospital. Once inside, he made his way up the stairs until he found his work master, Dr. Gene Splicer. “Good morning, sir.”

“Ah, Scatter Brain! How good to see you on time.” The large stallion raised an eyebrow at his student, though he still appeared happy.

“Sorry, sir… I, uhh, have had a lot on my mind lately…” The apprentice dropped his bags in the corner and put on his lab coat. “Nevermind that. What am I learning today?”

The old stallion patted him on the back roughly, causing his knees to buckle slightly. “Still? Don’t you ever rest? I gave you the day off!”

“Hey, I like this stuff! I learn it because I want to!” He pointed to the light blue question mark that had adorned itself on his flank early in his youth. “Thirst for knowledge, branded right there on my backside.”

“Don’t feel insulted when I’m not keen on examining your butt that closely, kid.” Dr. Splicer smiled. “Though you wouldn’t mind if I did, would you? Hehehe.”

“Sir… please quit that. I know you know I don’t mind stallions… I don’t need you to bring it up every day,” the young colt said, his face turning red.

“You know I tease you. I don’t care that you’re a coltcuddler-”

“I like mares too!”

“-I care that you’re a good student. And to keep learning as much and as quickly as you do,” he said, placing a gray hoof on Scatter’s shoulder in a fatherly manner, “you need to take a break.

“I… but…” Scatter tried to argue with his teacher, who was having none of it.

“Hey, you yourself said you had something on your mind. Why don’t you go after him then?” Dr. Splicer poked back.

“W-what?! There’s no ‘him!’” Scatter defended himself.

Gene just shook his head. “Don’t believe you. There’s somepony you’ve got stuck on your mind, I can see it.”

Seeing his master unwielding in his curiosity, the medical student yielded. “...There’s a ‘her.’”

“Ahaha! Let’s hear all about it, son!” The doctor’s expression was that of an excited housewife hungry for gossip.

Not willing to argue, Scatter figured he may as well spill the beans. “Well… her name is Ryuko Matoi.”

“...What kind of name is that for a pony?”

“It’s her name… and it’s lovely. She’s… she’s one of my best friends. I’ve liked her for a while now, even when she didn’t like herself. She’s got a strange talent, but it’s a common interest for us. She’s nice… kinda distant sometimes, but really into it at others. And dear Luna, is she sexy! She’s beautiful, sir…”

“Wow. And… you wish to, erm, copulate with her?”

“No! Well… yeah, I mean, who wouldn’t? But… that’s not the important part. I want to hold her. I want to kiss her on the lips. I want to hold her in my hooves on the couch and watch something. I want to take her out to dinner and compliment her. I want to lay in bed with my hooves wrapped around her for protection. I want to see her sleep and hope that when she smiles, she is dreaming of me.”

There was only silence for a few moments after Scatter Brain said this, then Dr. Splicer cleared his throat. “Well… you sure picked the right profession, kid.”

This threw him for a loop. “Umm… what?”

“Medicine. You chose the right job. Because I am officially diagnosing you with lovesickness.” His face broke out into a warm, wide smile before he pulled Scatter into a tight hug. “You go get this filly and you make her your own.” He then pushed Scatter out the door and into the hallway. “And I don’t want to see you again without that mare on your hoof!”

“Sir, I’m not ready! I’ll ask her out someday. But… not today.”

Dr. Splicer was unperturbed. “Someday? What day? When the weather is just right? When you’ve had a good meal that fills you up and makes you feel prepared? If you keep waiting, someday will never come. Make someday today.” He then took Scatter’s lab coat, placed his saddlebags on his back, and held out his umbrella. “All up to you, kid.” With that, he shut the office door in his apprentice’s face and locked it shut.

Scatter Brain sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. He found himself walking out of the building without realizing that he had even moved. Moreover, his hooves were pointing in the direction of Ryuko’s little back alley stand.

Putting his doubts aside, the unicorn colt decided it was time to become a stallion and go after the mare he had his sights set on. Walking down the streets of Canterlot with a determined rhythm in his step, Scatter Brain felt he could handle anything Life threw at him.

Lucky for him, Life was feeling particularly generous that day and he was only asked for medical advice by forty-seven ponies. Though he left the hospital at around 9:15 in the morning, the constant delays by elderly stallions with bad hips, concerned mothers panicking about organic foods, and a few stallions looking for medical backup so they could get together with their mares in safety, Scatter did not arrive at his destination until almost 2 in the afternoon. By this point, his confidence had mostly abandoned him, leaving his momentum to take him the rest of the way. As he passed a flower shop, he decided to stop in and make a precautionary investment, walking out with a small bundle of orchids that he tucked out of sight.

Hidden away behind a few shops was a little dark stall. Most ponies ignored it because it was out of their way and beneath their status, but some sought it out, looking for… unique items.

Tapping his hoof on the stall, he waited as a hooded figure came out from behind a stack of crates. As soon as they saw Scatter, though, they took the hood down. “Hey, Scatter! What are you doing here?”

The white unicorn was busy trying to catch his breath from having it taken away yet again by his attractive friend. Her deep purple coat, which made his legs tremble. Her pitch black hair, save for a single sanguine red streak in the front, which made his spine shiver. And her eyes, that lovely clear blue. She was simply divine to him. “Oh, uh, n-nothing! Nothing at all!” To most ponies, this would have been an obvious lie, but Ryuko either did not notice or she did not draw attention to its feebleness.

“...Oh. Well, what do you want?” She searched his face for an answer and found only a deep blush. This was something she was used to from her customers. “...Are you buying a sex toy?” she asked suddenly, a look of humor on her face.

Ryuko, at the age of thirteen, was fooling around with somepony and managed to discover the joys of bondage sex. This left her with an interest so satisfying, it displayed itself on her flank every day in the form of a red ball gag. After coming of age the following year, she promptly got a permit and began selling her homemade sex toys in a back alley, as she could not afford a shop yet and was not allowed to sell such products openly in the streets.

“No! Nononono!” he stammered, his blush rising and his nerves crashing. Screw it, just go home and do it later. You can ask her out any day. Hearing himself think this, he steeled his nerves and shook his resolve into place. Then I choose today. “A-actually, I wanted to ask you something?”

Fiddling with a few of her products in her hooves, Ryuko seemed to be paying less than full attention to her friend. Until he set a bunch of white orchids on the table in front of her. She looked at them, then up at him, not quite registering what he was implying. “...What are the flowers for?”

Her ignorance of his intent hurt a bit, but that only caused him to bounce back higher. “They’re, uhh, for you… I got you some flowers.”

She looked at them again. “...I can see that.”

Thinking quickly, Scatter spluttered out, “W-would you want t-to go to lunch w-with me?”

Now noticing how strange her friend was acting, the purple unicorn squinted her eyes at him and asked, “What’s going on? What’s this about lunch?”

She’ll never go for you, you moron. Turn back, tell her you were just kidding. Save yourself now! “I… I was wondering i-if you… wanted to go… uhh…” Crapcrapcrapcrap, say it!

“...Are you asking me out on a date?” she said slowly.

No. NO! Dude, she’s not gonna say yes if she knows what you’re asking! “...Yes.”

Her suspicions were still aroused by this. It wasn’t like Scatter to do this - he was her friend, she should know. “Why do you want to take me on a date?”

No turning back, pal. You dug your grave, now go lie in it. Clearing his throat, Scatter closed his eyes and spoke with just enough surety to keep from wetting himself. “I… really like you, Ryuko. Really like you. I… I-I want to know if you’d be my… my special… somepony…”

He kept his eyes closed and waited for the inevitable killing blow.

Until Tomorrow?

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Until Tomorrow?

Scatter Brain waited… and waited… and waited…

...and nothing happened. He was not known to be optimistic, and his impending fear of rejection left him expecting a swift bucking of hooves to the jaw. A single punch to the face, at the very least.

Daring to open his eyes, he saw that Ryuko had not moved. She did not seem to have even reacted at all. Maybe… she didn’t hear me?Moving just a bit, the purple mare finally spoke. “Be your… special… somepony?” she said carefully, as if testing each word on her lips.

Buck, she heard me… she’s not happy. Scatter looked her over and saw several signs of discomfort in her body language. Her tail had curled around her cutie mark, her left forehoof was scratching her right foreleg, her eyes were cast down at the ground. Most universally notable, her face was slowly gaining a blush that told everything to those who knew how to translate.

Scatter Brain, however, did not know how to translate this blush. She’s not happy… oh buck me, I can’t believe I just ruined everything… “Umm… you know what?” He did his best to cover his tracks, but it was rather like trying to plead innocent right after confessing to a crime. “I was… kidding. No hard feelings, yeah? Just… a joke?”

She said nothing, only looking up from the ground to see his panicked expression as he continued. “Yeah, a joke. I’m gonna, uh… go back to the lab! I’ll see you some other time, okay?” All of this tumbled out of his mouth faster than a pegasus could do a rainboom. Resorting to his basic - and piss poor - instincts, the medical student turned tail and bolted out of the alleyway, not caring what fell out of his bags as he made a break for home.

It wasn’t really far away, but by the time he had made it back into his small abode, it had begun to drizzle. Go freaking figure… He ran inside and locked the door behind him, simply staring at it for several minutes. When the door did nothing, he allowed himself to slump to the floor in a feeble attempt at gathering his thoughts.

His thoughts were not happy. What the buck is wrong with you?! I told you not to ask today, you weren’t ready!

Not ready? I never would have been. Today was my best shot...

Well, you blew it. You’ll be lucky if she ever talks to you again.

Go ahead, rub some more salt in an open wound, why don’t you? It doesn’t hurt enough already.

It’s your own damn fault! What would such an amazing mare like her ever see in you?


Scatter Brain nearly jumped out of his fur as the sound tore through his thoughts. “H-hello?”

A calm voice he recognized easily responded. “Scatter, it’s me.”


“Please let me in. It’s raining.” Her quietness and steadiness cut into him a bit more, allowing his self-doubt and fears to bleed into the cracks. However, he was not about to let her sit out in the pouring rain. Using his magic, he unlocked the door and let it swing open.

He expected her to be drenched, as he noticed how hard it was raining outside. A quick glance at the closest clock told him that he had somehow wasted an hour sitting on the floor feeling bad for himself. The weather outside was quite the downpour, and the winds were kicking up into a mighty gale. While her coat and mane were somewhat soaked, he saw that she had protected herself under a telltale blue umbrella. “Is that…?”

“You dropped it on your way here…” Ryuko’s voice bore a shiver so subtle, only someone paying attention to every detail would have noticed it. Someone like Scatter Brain.

“You’ve gotta be freezing! Get in here!” Abandoning his embarrassment for a moment, he dragged his friend inside and sat her on his tiny sofa. He levitated a towel out of the bathroom and proceeded to help her dry off.

By help her dry off, of course, he meant stifling her in the cloth and trying not to make eye contact. A few muffled protests convinced him to let go and let her finish doing it herself.

A quick dry on her part preceded her silky black and red hair, followed by her lovely face, poking out from the top of the towel. “Why did you run away?”

Okay… no beating around the bush… damn… “I… I was afraid of what you would say… I don’t think I can handle a ‘no’ from you… I’m an idiot for even thinking that-”

“You’re not an idiot, Scatter,” she cut off. When he looked up at her, the corners turned up almost imperceptibly and she turned a few hues darker. “It made me blush.” She got a few inches closer to his face and looked up at him. “I wasn’t going to say no.”

An audible gulp echoed through the quiet room as he spoke. “R-really? You… you mean...?”

Another few inches closer and the smile got a tad wider. “Yes.”

Scatter Brain bit his lip at this point. It was quite obvious what she was expecting, and the inexperienced colt was afraid of bucking up again. Hey, she already said yes. Better prove she’s worth it, dude!

Finally in agreement with his inner voice, he leaned forward and pressed his muzzle against Ryuko’s smaller one. The first attempt left him kissing her nose, which made her giggle softly. Helping out, she placed her hooves on his cheeks and guided his mouth to its proper destination.

Imagine the greatest display of fireworks ever seen. Are you imagining it? Good. Now scrap that completely, because it didn’t come anywhere near as flashy as Scatter’s spirit was. His heart was beating quickly and his nerves were firing rapidly. How he stayed conscious, nopony would ever know.

After a few moments of kissing, Scatter pulled away. “I… I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

“What do you mean?” Ryuko laid next to him on his couch, staring upside down at him.

“I don’t wanna mess things up… I don’t know what special someponies do.” He looked down into her beautiful face and pressed his nose against hers. “All I know is that you make me happier than I have ever been, and I want to make you that happy too. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” she said with a smile.

As if to punctuate the moment, a crack of lightning filled the afternoon sky and rolling thunder filled the room. “Uh… don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you should go back outside today.”

“What do you mean by that? Take it the wrong way?” She cocked her head in confusion.

“Er… you should stay the night here.”

Her blank expression turned into one of a minor giggle. “Oh really?”

The tone immediately intimidated and excited Scatter. “Nothing’s gonna happen, though… right?”

Getting off of the couch, she trotted past him into the kitchen. As she passed, she flicked his nose with her tail. “Maybe.”

Oh dear Celestia… we might be in a bit over our heads here.

Following his new fillyfriend into the kitchen, Scatter Brain found her levitating a few things onto the counter to eat. As she noticed him entering, she spoke up. “I’m not gonna make you do anything tonight. I promise.” Ryuko turned to him and gave a warm smile, one that set his heart - and a few other parts of him - ablaze. “But I sell sex toys for a living - don’t make me seem so innocent.”

“Y-yeah… I wasn’t thinking of it that way…” he mumbled.

This gained her interest. “What way were you thinking of it?”

He looked up at her and she suddenly noticed how nervous he really was. “I don’t want to hurt you on accident. I don’t want to do something with you, just to realize that’s all I want to do. I am more attracted to you than I ever have been to anypony else, ever. But I want to make sure I really, really like being with you normally. No… y’know, sex or anything.”

A few moments of silence followed this, which ended in Ryuko giggling at his crimson face. “Wow. You’re pretty cheesy, you know?” Her giggles picked up a bit for a few minutes before they died down and she could talk to him naturally. “I think it’s cute, though.” She walked over and planted an overwhelmingly satisfying kiss on his lips. “Just don’t make me wait too long - I’ve got needs, you know?”

Discovering some courage he didn’t know he had, the med student grinned and wrapped his hooves around her, this time initiating the kiss all on his own. This one was deeper, a tad more passionate, and just long enough that when the two broke apart, both were connected by a strand of saliva, feeling somewhat buzzed. “This is gonna be an awesome relationship.” The white stallion grinned stupidly at his peculiar method of success. He had Ryuko by his side that day. For now, he needed nothing else.

One Year Later

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One Year Later

The sunlight poured in through the windows, causing Scatter Brain to stir in his sleep. He opened his eyes to the sight, stretching out on the bed. He still hadn’t grown accustomed to waking up with open curtains, but the source of it was more than satisfying.

“Get outta bed, Scatter!” a voice rang out. It was too early for such a loud noise, but he knew he’d survive. “You said we could get the new Daganropa today!”

Ryuko Matoi, now trying to wake her coltfriend up by bouncing on the bed, wore a gleeful and excited expression. The scene looked more like a daughter begging her dad for a new toy than a young lady begging her coltfriend for a video game.

“Mmm… huh?” The med student rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up, while Ryuko tried to drag him into the kitchen. “Did you need to get me up this early for the game?”

“Yes! I wanna be in line so I can play it right away!” Taking some bizarre initiative, she threw together a mess of eggs and peppers.

Scatter tried his best to wake up at the table while remembering where his important things were. Keys on the hook, wallet is in my bags, umbrella is by the door… He smiled as an omellette was placed in front of him with a tall glass of milk.

“Come on, come on, hurry up!” she said. Scatter tossed back his food as quickly as he could, Ryuko’s excitement bubbling over onto him.

He tossed the dishes in the sink and grabbed his things, then they both headed out for the closest gaming store. About a year ago, Scatter could never have called himself a gamer. He didn’t have anything set up in his house to support it, and he enjoyed a quiet lifestyle.

Since dating Ryuko, however, several things had changed. He had to deal with unwarranted - but not necessarily unwanted - sexual advances on a regular basis. He learned how to cook food without burning it so that she wouldn’t have to eat any crappy meals. And most notably, he had learned to never, ever, ever interrupt her while she was playing a video game.

It was a bit of a trade off for him. He didn’t get so much peace and quiet anymore, but he did get the satisfaction of hearing Ryuko’s teasing voice every day. He also learned how to play games, and found that no matter what he tried to play with her, she would hand him his flank on a polished silver platter. The biggest hit he had taken was on his wallet, but that was not an issue for him, as he didn’t tend to buy things for himself that much.

“It’s only ten minutes left!” Ryuko had resumed her bouncing in line, and Scatter giggled at her childish behavior. Quite the journey, this year had been. Year… Wait a minute…

“Ah, crap…” he muttered.

Ryuko’s look wasn’t shaken much. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh, nothing. I just need to stop somewhere and get something after this. Are you okay to head straight home after we get the game? I have to find you a surprise.”

Her expression calmed down and the ghost of a frown hinted itself. “Er… you know I don’t like surprises…”

“I know, I know, but please? It’s just that it’s a special occasion, and it won’t be anything major. I promise.”

After looking him over to make sure he wasn’t going to pull any major deceptions, she nodded. “Okay. Can I start playing without you?”

“Of course! I’m not going to keep you waiting for me, I know you’ve been dying to play this! Plus, I need to get a few groceries as well.” Scatter beamed at his fillyfriend’s approval while she resumed her hyping over her new game.

Orchids… I got her orchids last year…, he thought to himself. Does she even like orchids?

The two of them wait in line with Ryuko rattling off different things about the past games, her theory on what is going to happen in the end of it, favorite characters, and other such stuff that Scatter was struggling to keep up with due to his general ignorance of the series.

When their turn finally came up, Scatter paid the clerk (who had now come to recognize the couple on sight) and followed his bouncing beauty back into the streets.

“Thank you so much, babe!” She hugged him dangerously tight and planted a few quick kisses on his cheek before bolting off to their small home. The colt continued on to a nearby flower shop and bought another bouquet of orchids, this time with a single red rose in the middle of them. Cliché, perhaps, but that was his style.

He continued to the marketplace where he bumped into a friend of his, Page Inkheart. The two of them chatted for a bit while he picked out his food, occasionally commenting on some of the book reviews she’d given in the past, ending with a friendly hug and a farewell.

“By the way, how’s Ryuko’s store doing?” she asked, immediately turning Scatter’s white coat crimson. Since they had gotten together, his fillyfriend had managed to save up enough to get her back alley sex toy stand into a discrete street building. Many of the customers had shown discomfort at purchasing such things from the young mare, but her pervy tendencies usually helped ease them up into getting what they were looking for.

“Oh, it’s doing pretty good. I’m surprised at how much of the Canterlot community shops there. I wouldn’t have imagined that there were so many… er, interested ponies.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Page chuckled at his confusion. “She sells some pretty good supplies, given her age. I’ve even got a few of her-”

“Ap ap ap! I don’t wanna hear it!” he cut her off, his blush burning while she laughed at his shame. While he didn’t mind the topic itself, nor Ryuko’s direct benefit from it all, he didn’t particularly want to talk about his friend’s bedroom antics.

“Suit yourself, Scatty. Have a good one!” With a smile and a wave, the two parted ways. Making one more small stop on the way back, Scatter held this last small bag hidden in one of the larger ones. By the time he made it back home, a good hour or so had passed.

“Ruko, I’m back,” he said, using his pet name for her as he walked inside. A strange odor hit his nostrils as he moved further in. It was like… slightly burnt toast. A bit of cheese… a lot, actually. Scatter’s nose scrunched up as he tried to identify it. ...Pizza? was his eventual conclusion.

“Happy Anniversary!!!” rang through his ears when he went into kitchen, searching for the source of the smell. Lo and behold, Ryuko had set up the epitome of romantic scenes; a lit candle in the middle of the table, a few leftover rose petals from a dying flower that previously sat as the centerpiece, and a few slices of slightly burnt, homemade pizza.

At a loss for words, Scatter just stood there with an awestruck expression on his muzzle. “But… wha… how did… you… huh?!” He glanced between the food, the budget romance, and - remarkably - the television, which had the new game sitting next to it, unopened.

The mare’s expression faltered a bit when she didn’t get a response from the display. “Do you… not like it…?” The fear in her voice was evident.

“Ruko…” The colt, in the entire past year they had been dating, had never seen her pull something so sweet and cheesy. That was usually his own job. “...This is perfect.

Watching her smile return, multiplied tenfold, he trotted over and wrapped his hooves around her, kissing her lips deep and passionately. They tended to melt together a good bit, and this instance was no exception. They had learned how to kiss without gouging the other’s eye out with their horns by now, the trick being to rest them against each other. This had the added benefit of working almost like transmission wires, their magic and energy flowing between their horns with a gentle buzz.

After a minute or so, they came up for air, and Scatter remembered what he had picked up. He gave her the bouquet of flowers, which she took happily but uneventfully. While she put them in a vase, he said, “I do have one other gift as well…”


From the small bag he had hidden earlier, Scatter Brain produced a slightly smaller box with a gold string tying it shut. “For you.”

She opened it, and smiled wide at the necklace inside. It had a round sapphire dangling from it, reminiscent from one of her favorite video game items. “You are really cheesy, you know?”

“I know,” he grinned, helping her put on her necklace and kissing her ear from behind, “But the look on your face when I do it all makes it oh-so worth it.”

She giggled at his comments, then guided him to the table. “Come on, I made it myself!” While the smell did hint at the taste, it was delicious nonetheless, and both of the young ponies managed to eat the meal rather quickly. The meal was followed by some intense gaming, with Scatter finally managing to win a single game against her. He was certain she let him, though.

Afterwards, unable to resist the urge, the med student scooped up his filly and carried her bridal-style into their room, where they had a bit more… celebration.

Following all of this, the two lay under the sheets, exhausted by the evening’s events. The white stallion wrapped his forelegs around Ryuko as she squirmed and rolled to face him, mirroring his movements. “I love you, Ruko.”

“I love you too, honey.” Scatter smiled at the feeling of holding his beloved like this. Better than anything else they did together, in his opinion, was the satisfaction of holding her close and seeing her happy face. “Goodnight,” she breathed to him, as her eyes drooped shut and she faded into sleep.

“Sweet dreams.” The last thing he saw before nodding off on his own was the corners of her mouth turning up ever so slightly. Perfection.