"Who Are You? The Lone Ranger?"

The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 1

It was cold outside -- maybe -- it was cold inside.

My feet are cold -- why is this bed so short?

Something warm wrapped itself around my midsection and mumbled something almost unintelligible. What is this? It's warm and kinda furry...

These lights are so damned bright! Someone put a dimmer switch on the sun, please!

It took too long for my eyes to adjust to the brightness -- when they did, I noticed I was not alone. I tried to turn over, but the pony's legs wrapped around me tightly, preventing me from moving much. I grabbed one of her hooves with my right hand and gave it a slight squeeze.

"Mmmh, darling, I love it when you do that!" the alabaster mare cooed softly. I noticed she had a mask covering her eyes.

"Who are you, the Lone Ranger?" I asked, the deepness of my voice startling her. She woke with a start and removed the mask from her eyes, which went wide with fear upon seeing me.

"Muh -- muh -- muh -- who -- who -- what --" she stammered as she backed away from me, falling off the edge of her bed. I got off her bed and walked around it as she backed her way towards the wall. "Please, darling, please don't hurt me," she begged fearfully.

"Um, my apologies for the intrusion, Miss Rarity -- I was expecting to wake up laying next to Twilight Sparkle. I have no idea why I woke up next to you," I offered softly. I slowly approached her as she backed against the wall and brought her forelegs to shield her face. I was now just a couple of feet away from her as I knelt before her. She winced as I took her left forehoof and brought it to my lips and planted a soft kiss on it, causing her to blush.

"Mmmh, darling, please! I don't even know you!" she declared as her blush deepened, a smile gracing her features.

"Miss Rarity, my name is Michael Walker -- last night, I made a wish to wake up laying next to Twilight Sparkle -- instead, I got you. Perhaps I was thinking more of you than of your friend," I mused.

"Michael, is it? What exactly are you? Where did you come from? And what business do you seek with Twilight?"

"I'm a human -- homo sapiens -- I come from a world known as Earth, at least that's what it's called where I'm from on that planet -- and, um, I kinda hate to say this, but -- Twilight is my favorite pony," I replied, my voice softening with the last few words of my reply.

"Michael, darling, why would Twilight be your favorite pony? Am I not more desirable than her? How many of us do you know? And how is it that you do know about us?"

"Um, there's this device called a television, and there's a program which features you and Twilight and Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Princess Celestia, your sister Sweetie Belle, Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom --" I stopped as I heard something pop out from under Rarity's bed.

"Hey, did somepony mention my name?" asked a perky pink earth pony who grinned at me. "Oooooh! You're NEW here!" she exclaimed excitedly before gasping and disappearing just as suddenly as she had appeared. Rarity giggled a little before returning her attention to me.

"So you know about us from a -- television program? What -- can you explain that for me? I'm a little unclear on how that works, darling."

I found it difficult to explain how television works and my explanations of the program caused her to ask a great many questions, though when I mentioned Tom she became a little flustered and told me not to talk about that again.

"Yeah, but Discord was just messing with you -- you weren't thinking clearly, that's all," I opined.

"I -- I find it rather embarrassing that -- that particular episode was seen by -- how many of you?"

"Probably millions," I replied flatly, causing the fashionista to pull her fainting couch out of her hammerspace and fall upon it with an exaggerated display of histrionics.

"Of all the horrible things to find out -- that -- has to be -- the -- WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Rarity -- everything turned out fine in the end -- Discord was defeated and everypony was restored to their, uh, normal selves."

"Well, that's a relief. But tell me, darling, if Twilight is your favorite pony, where do I fall on your list?" she grinned.

"My top three are Twilight, Trixie and you," I replied, grinning sheepishly as her face fell.

"Trixie? That -- that -- trollop? Why -- why --" she sputtered almost angrily.

"Would you have been more offended if I had said that there's a certain earth pony mare who makes her home in Trottingham and runs a milk business, and that I consider her to be in my top five?"

"Mmmmh, that reminds me, darling -- I am almost out of milk. Perhaps we should pay her a visit!"

"Um, how far is Trottingham away from Ponyville?" I asked.

"By train, it only takes about an hour to get there," she grinned. "I can't wait to see her expression when she sees YOU!"

"I just want to see if the rumors I've heard about her are true," I mused thoughtfully.

"Ooooh, daaaar-ling, what sort of rumors have you heard about her?" she asked, her grin widening into a leer.

"Um -- I'd rather not say," I replied, a little crestfallen by her inquisitiveness.

"I've heard she's looking for a good stallion," the fashionista opined, grinning slyly at me.

"Then perhaps you know her a bit better than I do. And if we're going to Trottingham by train, I think I'm going to need some clothes," I mused.

"Oooh, did you say clothes? You're in luck, darling! I run a boutique and specialize in clothes! Would you like me to make something for you? Darling, I would be thrilled to create something truly magnificent for you!"

I grinned at her eagerness. "Miss Rarity, I would be honored to receive special vestments created by Equestria's premiere fashion designer," I offered reverently.

"Darling, we're not traveling to Canterlot --"

"Um, I meant you, Miss Rarity," I stated, grinning at her as she blushed more deeply.

"Darling, you flatter me! I'm not --"

"Yes, you are, Miss Rarity. Don't sell yourself short -- your designs are top-notch, worthy of the richest clientele," I stated cheerfully, my grin widening as she expressed shock. "Why so surprised? You're the best, Miss Rarity, and don't let anypony tell you differently."

The mare grinned broadly. "Ooooooh, daaaaaar-ling! I could just kiss you right now!"

Without bothering to wait for it, I leaned forward and with one hand on the back of her head moved her forward to meet me, our lips touching as I planted a kiss on them. Her blush covered her face, though she relaxed and returned the kiss, humming happily and sighing in contentment.

"Mmmmh, darling, that was nice!" she cooed.

"I've plenty more where that came from, Miss Rarity," I offered confidently, smiling warmly at her.

"Perhaps if I allow you to do more with me, I might find favor with you? Perhaps you might even consider me your favorite pony? Oooh, would you even possibly consider ... marrying me?" she asked as her grin nearly split her face.

"Um, I kinda hate to pop your bubble, Miss Rarity, but ... I'm already married," I stated sullenly.

"Oh. I, uh, guess that changes things a little. Is it possible for you to divorce her?"

"I think I would need Princess Celestia's blessing for that, and even then I don't know if it would be enough. Miss Rarity, I am flattered you would offer to be my mare -- I would be honored to have you, though --" I began before I was tackled to the bed by a very passionate fashionista who planted more kisses on my lips.

"Oooh, darling, it would mean so much to me!" she exclaimed exuberantly, prancing around the room in glee.

"Like I said, I'll need to talk to the Princess about it -- I'm sure she could probably make an exception or two -- but --" I stated before I stopped myself. I watched the mare immediately stop her joyful prancing and glare harshly at me.

"Daaaar-ling, you had better be careful with what you say next," she admonished sharply, her gaze hardening at me.

"Are you that jealous, Miss Rarity?" I asked. She nodded her head in affirmation. "Very well then -- if you wish for me to marry you --"

"Ooooh, darling! You would make me so happy!" she cooed.

"Can I see what you look like without your makeup on?" I asked, flashing a wicked grin.

"N-n-no! I -- I -- could never let you see me like that! You -- you'd -- I -- I -- am -- so -- UGLY!!" she wailed. "I am so ugly!" she reiterated, her voice breaking as she continued her histrionic drama.

"If we are to get married, I need to see you at your worst -- your dirtiest, ugliest side," I stated flatly. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, just for a moment and then returned to her histrionic wailing and sobbing.

"No! No! You'd never even THINK of marrying me if you saw me like that! I AM SO UGLY!!!" she cried, her sobs increasing in their intensity and volume. I slowly walked over to her and knelt beside her, reaching my right hand to the back of her head. She had covered her face with her forehooves as she lay on her belly on the floor, continuing to sob and moan about how ugly she was. I began scratching her behind her left ear and her sobbing stopped immediately, her attitude changing dramatically as she began cooing about how nice this felt.

"Rarity, let me assure you of this -- you are not ugly -- no matter what you look like on the outside, whether you get yourself covered in mud or dirt, if you get scratches and scars, if anything bad happens to you -- you will always be beautiful in my eyes," I breathed softly in her left ear as I scratched lower on her neck towards her back.

"Oooh, darling! Do you really mean that?" she asked as she turned to gaze happily at me. Her makeup had smeared badly across her face and some of her age wrinkles showed beneath.

"Of course I do, Miss Rarity. I think we need to get you cleaned up a little -- your makeup has smeared a bit," I noted. "By the way, I know it might be wrong of me to ask this, but -- quel age avez-vous?"

"You -- you -- you ignorant ruffian! You should know better than to ask a mare her age!" she huffed indignantly. "How old are YOU?"

"I'm 50, and I'm damn proud of it, Miss Rarity," I grinned. "Now it's your turn to answer that question!"

"You lie! You can't be older than 35!"

My grin widened into a big smile. "You flatter me, Miss Rarity -- I am indeed 50, just look at my age spots," I stated, showing her my left arm.

"Darling, why is part of your arm darker than the rest of your fur?"

Without bothering to answer her question, I grabbed hold of her left forehoof, eliciting a cry of surprise from her. I placed the bottom of her hoof on my arm so that the frog was touching my skin. I moved her hoof up and down my arm to give her a sense of my skin.

"Miss Rarity, humans don't have fur -- we have skin, some of which is covered sparsely by hair. The reason the lower part of my left arm is darker than the rest of my skin is that part of my body is usually not covered by clothing. The reason so much of my skin is so light and pasty is that I wear clothes nearly all the time I'm awake, and my clothes cover nearly all my body. My shirts are short-sleeved and when the weather's nice and warm, I don't need to wear a coat or jacket to keep warm. The result is that my exposed skin receives radiation from the sun, causing my skin to tan. These age spots are a result of years of prolonged exposure to solar radiation," I explained. "Eventually we can suffer from skin cancer if we're exposed long enough." I pointed to a couple of small red specks on my chest to illustrate my point.

The fashionista expressed deep shock at my revelation, her mouth forming a circle as she silently said, "Oh."

"That's why we humans wear clothes -- to protect us from excessive sunlight, to keep us warm, and in some cases, to show off fashions by certain designers," I added, noting her broad grin.

"Darling, your explanation makes you sound as smart as Twilight -- now I see why you consider her your favorite pony! I must confess, I am 29 years old," she added.

"I'm still curious to see what you look like without your make-up," I stated matter-of-factly.

"No! I -- I can't!"

"Yes you can -- it's just that you don't want me to see you like that -- you're afraid I'll think you're ugly, don't you?"

She nodded her head, though the smeared make-up bothered me. I picked her up with my right arm, astonishing her with my strength. I carried her to her bathroom, as I had noticed the door to it was slightly ajar. I turned on the water in her tub and grabbed a washcloth with my left, then placed her in the tub and soaked the cloth, washing her face with it. She shrieked in terror as I ran the cloth over her face, rinsing it out under the flow of water, then returning to wash more of her make-up off.

"You wear more make-up than Tammy Faye Bakker," I complained as I continued to wash her face despite her shrieking protestations. The noise alerted her sister who trotted into the room to see what was going on. Upon seeing me, she screamed and ran off somewhere. "Who was that?"

"That was my sister! Stop this at once, you ruffian! Please stop! Please! Please darling! Please, for me, darling! Pleeeeeeeease?"

I rinsed out the cloth one more time and wiped her face to remove the last of her make-up. I turned off the water and turned her face to me so I could see her clearly. Her face seemed to have the look of somepony who had lived a pretty hard life, the lines and creases marking her age.

"You're not 29, Rarity -- if anything, you're probably nearly as old as me," I stated flatly. Her face fell at this.

"I knew it! I knew you'd think I was ugly! Baw-haw-haw-haw! I -- I -- I am so UGLY!!" she wailed again. I held her chin with my left hand and forced her to face me.

"Open your eyes, Rarity. Look at me. I said LOOK AT ME!!" I shouted at her. Her ears lowered as she opened her eyes, tears still trickling from the corners.

"What is it? Why?"

"Did I tell you you were ugly? Did you hear those specific words come out of my mouth directed at you?"

"Um ... no, darling, I don't think so," she replied softly, uncertainty coloring her tone.

"I never said you were ugly. I said you wore more make-up than Tammy Faye Bakker," I stated.

"Who is she? I've never heard of her."

"She is the wife of Jim Bakker, a television evangelist. If you want to know what ugly is, that woman pancaked make-up on her face to try to make herself look pretty. There's a saying about putting lipstick on a pig or polishing a turd -- you can try to make it look as pretty as you want, but at the end of the day, a pig is still a pig and a turd is still a turd."

"But -- but darling, you compared me to HER!"

"All I told you was that you wore more make-up than her -- I was exaggerating, Rarity -- sheesh, can't you take a joke? I'm sorry if I made you feel sad." I smiled sheepishly at her. "Hey, I didn't say you were ugly, remember? I never called you that -- and I never would. Sure, you lied about your age -- so what? If we're to get married, we shouldn't keep secrets from each other."

"Michael, darling, I am so sorry! You are correct, I lied about my age -- I'm 37 -- you're not mad at me, are you? You're going to marry me, yes?"

"If you're 37, how old is your sister? She looks like she's only ten years old," I stated. "Does a pony's reproductive cycle last long enough for you to be the first born and 27 years elapse before your sister was born?"

"Sweetie Belle is thirteen, Michael -- don't get any ideas about her. And what business is it of yours how long a pony's reproductive cycle lasts?"

"My mom was the last of nine children -- the age difference between my mom and her oldest sister was about 20 years, if my memory serves me correctly," I mused. "My grand-ma was 37 when she gave birth to my mom, so I think the maximum probably is about 25 years, give or take. My grand-ma got married when she was 15 years old, her husband was 31 at the time."

Rarity gasped in horror at my explanation. "How -- how could -- why --"

"Times were different back then -- my grandparents lived on a farm and they needed all the help they could get. Large families were normal back then, as were marriages between couples who had such dramatic age differences. Don't get me started on 'age of consent' laws -- that's another can of worms," I replied. "And as for Sweetie Belle -- she's too young and I would never even think of taking advantage of her in any way."

"Good. Keep it that way, unless you have a death wish," she stated darkly. She took the opportunity to look at herself in the mirror and gasped again. Using her magic, she levitated a number of items and began re-applying make-up to her face, including the eye shadow. I sighed in resignation as she continued to apply more make-up to cover up the lines and creases, but caught my glare of disapproval in the mirror's reflection.

"What's wrong, darling?" she asked, almost oblivious to my obvious disdain for her attempt to conceal her age.

"Be who you are, Miss Rarity -- don't be something you're not," I replied flatly, folding my arms across my chest. She immediately stopped, allowing the items to clatter noisily on the vanity before taking the washcloth I had used on her earlier. She returned to the bathtub and turned on the water. She scrubbed the make-up off completely, including the eye shadow, then rinsed off and toweled off.

"Michael, darling, I have decided to take your advice. No longer shall I try to be somepony I'm not -- from this day forth, I am RARITY!" she exclaimed proudly, grinning broadly. She turned to me and smiled. "Was that all right, Michael?"

"Perfect, Miss Rarity," I replied, chuckling softly. "Now, if we're going to Trottingham, I'm going to need some clothes," I added, my grin widening.

"Ah, yes! Of course!" she affirmed. "Come with me, darling! I'm going to need some measurements!" she cooed as she trotted out of her boudoir. I followed her into another room, this one adorned with pony-shaped mannequins and various other items one might see in a seamstress' shop. "Stand over here, please," she said, indicating a raised platform. I dutifully complied with her request, standing atop what appeared to be a dais.

"This will only take a few moments," she noted as she used her magic to levitate a tape measure, a pad of paper and a pencil before wrapping me up with said tape measure and feverishly writing down all the necessary numbers. I was amazed by the swiftness with which she accomplished this task and commented on it.

"Some of my best work occurs when I have such inspiration," she offered. "I will sketch up some designs for you -- this too should only take a short while."

I looked around the room and noticed a red couch where there had been none earlier. I decided to take a seat and wait for her to finish her sketches. I busied myself with taking in the details of the room, noting the red curtains over the windows. The room appeared to be nearly half the diameter of the entire floor, though I noticed a couple more doors. Presumably there was a staircase that led to a third level, though I was unsure of this. I also assumed the staircase led into a basement, but held that thought as she returned with a series of sketches.

"Look through these and let me know what you think," she offered, beaming a broad smile at me.

I flipped through the designs, noting how fancy they appeared. "They look like they'll fit rather tight on me -- I hope you allowed a generous amount of room for movement and motion, especially if I squat," I replied. Her eyes went wide when I uttered that last word.

"I should hope you choose to relieve yourself in a proper fashion and not dirty up the clothes I would make for you," she responded, anger quite evident in her voice.

"We humans have different protocols for relieving ourselves with regard to bodily function," I stated flatly. "I'm offended you'd think I'd intentionally soil my clothes. We humans have a very strong taboo against that -- and truth be told, I would like to take a shower before trying on any clothing you make for me. I usually take a shower every morning, immediately after performing my necessary bodily functions."

"Oh. I'm sorry, darling, it's just that -- I get a little overprotective of my creations -- I would hate to see anything bad happen to any of my designs! Um, if you need to --" she began, though when she turned to look at me, I was already in her bathroom, the door closed.

"Your commode is too small!" I called out from behind the door.

"It's the perfect size for me, darling," she replied almost thoughtlessly. She blushed upon realizing that I was substantially larger than her and trotted into the room. I cursed myself for not having locked the door as she saw me straddling her commode with my thighs, my junk hanging out in front. I had placed my briefs on the floor behind the door.

"I had no idea you were going to come in here without knocking first," I groaned. I had already peed in her toilet, but the urge to defecate was strong enough to cause me to try to use her commode as best I could. "You have some toilet paper?"

"What's that? I've never heard of toilet paper," she replied, a dumb grin on her face as she stared shamelessly at my flaccid penis. "Is that what I think it is? Your thing is very small."

"Yeah, I know. I'm 50, and my dick is even smaller now than it was when I was 20 -- it's never been big, even when fully erect," I sighed in resignation. My bowels decided to move at that point as a long turd made its way out and splashed noisily in her toilet. I was rewarded by having the bottom of my ass splashed with water. "Ugh, that's why I hate having to use a small-ass toilet."

"Michael, darling, I'm sorry my bathroom is not to your liking," she offered, wincing at my vulgarity. "Perhaps Twilight could work some of her magic on it?"

"I dunno, Rarity. Where's your toilet paper? I need something to wipe my ass with." I chuckled as she winced again. "I don't wanna leave skid marks on my drawers," I added.

"Um, I'm not sure I understand what you mean, darling," she stated, giving me a very puzzled look.

"Never mind. I'm gonna take a shower now -- where's your soap?" I asked as I grabbed the washcloth from earlier.

"Um, Michael, we ponies use shampoo -- here you go," she replied, levitating a bottle of mane and tail shampoo to me. I gave her a puzzled look of my own.

"Bar soap is made with tallow and lye, but I guess I can use shampoo in a pinch," I stated as I turned on the water. The tub only went to my mid-calf level, the shower head only at my waist level. I had to kneel in the tub, which was just wide enough for me if I kept my legs tightly closed. As far as sitting in the tub went, I could not do that as the tub just wasn't wide enough. "Your tub is tiny," I complained as I wet the washcloth and worked shampoo into it after wetting up my body.

"Sorry, Michael," she responded softly. She watched me as I soaped up my body with the cloth, working the soapy towel over every square inch of my body. I worked it between each toe, amazing her with my height as I stood up and braced myself against the ceiling with my right hand, running the towel over my junk with my left. I had to rinse out the towel and re-soap it to do my back and my face, working a lather into my hair as well. After that, I ended up shocking the fashionista by running the towel along the cleave of my buttocks, eliciting a gasp of shock. I turned and grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry, Rarity, but I have to make sure I'm completely clean," I stated as I rinsed the shampoo off, then ran the towel under the water to rinse it out and wrung out the water. I hung the cloth over the lip of the tub as I stepped out after turning off the water. "Um, do you have a towel large enough for me to dry off with?"

"Um, try this one, Michael -- it's my largest towel," she replied, levitating a relatively large towel to me. It worked to some extent, though it wasn't quite large enough for my liking.

"My bath towels are generally 27 by 54," I noted.

"Are they really that small?" she asked, giving me another shocked look.

"Inches, not centimeters," I replied. "What sort of numbers did you take down when you measured me? How tall am I?"

"Um, you astonished me with a height of 176," came her response.

"Okay, if you use centimeters instead of inches, the bath towel should be about 75 by 150," I offered, eliciting another gasp from the mare.

"Why so much cloth?"

"Is it not obvious, Miss Rarity? Do you not see how large I am?"

"Um, well, uh, yes, darling! Please forgive me for staring at you," she stated as she ogled my nudity.

"I'm not that special to look at, Miss Rarity. Did you make a new pair of underwear for me? What about the rest of my clothes?"

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry about that, darling! Let me get started! Um, what is a pair of underwear?"

I reached behind the door and picked them up for her and casually tossed the item at her, though it landed on her face. Perhaps she was staring at me a little too hard instead of paying attention to my action.

"Ah! What the --? Oh," she noted as she levitated the cloth to examine it. "This is your underwear?"

"Uh, yeah, it is. It's referred to as a pair even though it's a singular piece of clothing because of the leg openings. For similar reasons, a pair of pants is called that owing to the legs," I clarified. "A pair of shoes is called that because there are two of them, which probably adds to the confusion."

"Shoes? But -- wouldn't those hurt your hooves? Your hind hooves looked very soft," she commented.

"Rarity, would you be so kind as to lay on your back on your bed?" I asked, causing her to blush deeply.

"Ooooh! You're so naughty!" she giggled as she trotted out of the bathroom and over to her bed, dutifully complying with my request. I walked over to her and laid on the floor on my back, lifting my legs so that the soles of my feet were in contact with the frogs of her hind legs. A relaxing feeling of intense calmness came over me as I felt a sort of soft energy flow between the two of us.

"Ah! Ah! What is this?" she asked as she began gasping and panting for breath.

"Unh, it's called, unh, boku-maru," I replied as the sensation of intense pleasure began to overtake the feeling of calmness.

"Aaaaah, please! Please keep going! This -- this feels -- wonderful!" she cooed. She seemed to push her hooves against my feet to intensify the feeling, but it went away as she pushed harder, causing her to moan in disappointment. "What happened, darling? Why did it stop?"

"Mmmmh, you were trying to force the energy, Rarity -- boku-maru is about allowing chi to pass between us -- you cannot force the flow of chi through strength of will, it moves on its own accord. Anyway, it's best we stop that for now -- there actually is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Boku-maru is supposed to be done in very small doses, as the effect is very powerful."

The fashionista sidled up to me and gave me a big toothy grin. "Mmmmh, daaar-ling, I want to do that again!"

"Not now, Rarity -- I need some clothes, remember?"

"Oh! Oh, yes, that's right! Sorry, darling, it's just that -- boku-maru as you called it felt so wonderful! Have you ever done that with anypony?"

"You were my first experience with that, Miss Rarity. Frankly, I never even considered doing that with any of my female companions, as they probably would not have understood its significance. They probably would have thought I was weird or something."

"I can't wait to try that with Twilight! She would love it!"

"I think it would probably be about the same intensity as rubbing your horns against each other's," I mused pensively.

"Ooooh! You're right! There's nothing like a good horn rub, if I do say so myself! Mmmh, Michael, darling, would you oblige me?"

"Um, Rarity, my clothes?" I asked a little more impatiently.

"Oh, of course, darling! I'll get right on that! Um, which designs did you like?"

I glanced through her sketches and picked out a few I liked. "Black, red, blue, and purple are colors I favor," I added.

"Darling, please! Those are such sad colors! I won't hear of it -- you are going to be bright and colorful -- like a peacock!"

"I'd rather go around naked if you're going to display me like a peacock," I grumbled. I found my skivvies and put them back on. "And I'd rather wear this if nothing else."

"Very well then, darling -- I shall see what I can do for you," she responded in a nearly business-like tone of voice as she trotted into her workroom and began on my clothes. I took the opportunity to lay on her bed to rest a little and reflect upon my first boku-maru. I was surprised to discover how nice it felt, and much like Rarity, I wanted to do it again as well. I kept in mind that overdoing it would be bad, but I too was curious to see how Twilight would respond to it. The softness of Rarity's bed lulled me to sleep, though the bed was too small for me.

What is Boku-Maru?

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 2

I found myself being kicked awake by a rather annoyed fashionista. I grumbled and groaned at having a really nice dream interrupted in such a rude manner.

"Michael, darling, I'm finished with your ensemble. Your snoring made it difficult for me to concentrate, so if these clothes don't fit you correctly, you have only yourself to blame."

"I was dreaming about doing boku-maru with Twilight," I stated flatly before taking the profferred clothes, eliciting a sharp glare of disapproval from the fashionista.

"Darling, if you're even thinking about doing that with her, you'd better think again," she admonished sharply, her gaze narrowing at me.

"Tell me something, Rarity -- do you love me?" I asked directly, eliciting a gasp of shock, her eyes going wide with fear.

"O-of c-course, d-darling! W-why w-wouldn't I?" she stuttered, grinning sheepishly.

"Boku-maru is about sharing love, but it's also about sharing kindness and generosity, loyalty, honesty, and even a little laughter, if you stop to think about it. There is indeed something magical about boku-maru and I think it's wrong to try to keep others from enjoying it. If you truly love me, you will place no restrictions upon whomever we choose to boku-maru with, just as I will place no restrictions upon you. Should you choose to do that with Twilight, I'm curious to see her reaction. I will offer you this, though -- I only want to boku-maru with Twilight ONCE, and that's only because I want to see how she reacts to it. Other than that, you shall be the only mare I choose to boku-maru with."

"Michael, darling, I would like to witness her reaction as well," she grinned. "Try on your clothes, see if you like them."

The shirt was a bright yellow, a pullover with fancy white lace ruffles along the v-neck. Putting it on was difficult as there was very little room for me to put my arms through the sleeves with my head through the neck. I managed to get it on, but I knew that pulling it off was going to be a chore. The pants were very tight in the abdomen, the waist way too low and the crotch way too high. The legs were a little tight against my thighs and I knew that there was no room for any movement. The pale green of the pants seemed to clash with the shirt. She had not made a pair of shoes for me and I complained about that as well.

"How do I make a pair of shoes? Your hooves aren't meant for those," she opined.

"Human shoes are much different from horse or pony shoes -- instead of being made of a curved piece of metal nailed to the hoof, human shoes cover the feet and protect them from dirt, rocks, abrasion, and stress impacts. The shoes I wore were made mostly of leather, though some shoes used canvas and rubber," I explained.

"What was the source of leather?" asked Rarity as she narrowed her eyes at me again.

"Tanned cow hides were used as the primary source of leather," I replied.

"And what was done to replace their skin?" she asked, her gaze hardening further still.

"The cows in question were used as a meat source for us humans, Miss Rarity. We humans eat meat -- and quite a lot of it, myself included -- millions of cattle were raised as livestock, their meat for consumption, their hides for shoes and jackets and other clothing, their hooves for glue. No part of the cow went to waste, aside from the entrails," I explained, causing her to go green in her face.

"Michael, daaaaaar-ling, I'm afraid I must ask you to leave -- and please, remove the clothes I made for you. You have proven to be nothing more than a base ruffian and I have no use for you."

I pulled off the clothing roughly, more out of anger than frustration. Some of the seams ripped audibly, causing her to glower even more angrily at me.

"Show some respect for my creations!" she shouted.

"No more boku-maru for you -- and I'm not marrying you, either. Good luck finding another stallion willing to marry you," I hissed, my words seething with as much anger as she showed me. I finished undressing and balled the clothes up and threw them at her, though she had already fallen to her belly and was sobbing on the floor.

"Baw-haw-haw-haw! I can't believe it! You don't love me! Nopony loves me! Nopony will ever marry me! I'm so OLD! I'm so UGLY! Baw-haw-haw-haw!" she wailed as the clothes I threw at her landed atop her back, though I immediately regretted having done so. The mare seemed completely oblivious to my hasty action as she continued to bemoan her supposed fate, her sobs wracking her body as she cried.

"Urrrrh, damnit!" I growled as I went over to her. I removed the clothes from her body and tossed them onto the bed as I knelt beside her. I put my hands on her withers and began gently massaging her, working my fingers in small circles around the muscles above her forelegs, then slowly worked my way back and along the sides of her body. Her sobbing stopped, replaced by sniffles, then light cooing noises.

"Mmmmh, darling, I had no idea you were so talented! Mmmmmh! Oooooooh! That feels so nice!"

I continued to silently massage her, though I stopped when I got to her tail. I removed my hands from her at that point, pondering the next course of action.

"Mmmh, darling, why did you stop? Please, keep going for me!"

"There are certain parts of your body I don't feel comfortable touching, unless you give me permission to do so, Miss Rarity," I replied tentatively. "Anyway, I thought you wanted me to leave."

"Michael, darling, I'm sorry -- I let my emotions get the better of me -- I -- I don't know what to think about you -- but -- please keep massaging me! Your touch is so -- wonderful! Not even Aloe or Lotus at the Spa can do what you're doing!"

"Let me suggest that you not judge me by your standards, and I'll try not to judge you ponies by mine. I will try to keep from saying ignorant things about your society and its customs, though I may make the occasional faux pas. Should that happen, I beg your forgiveness in advance. By the way, are you extending me permission to touch you freely without hindrance?"

"Mmmmh, yes, Michael, darling! Please, if you intend to marry me, you may touch me anywhere you wish!"

"Does that include your marehood?" I asked, flashing a wicked grin.

"Mmmmh, you're so naughty! Yes, you may, if you so desire!" she cooed in response. "Just be sure to let me do some more boku-maru with you as well!"

"Of course, Miss Rarity," I stated as I ran my hands along her flanks, massaging her cannons and hooves lightly. Her moans increased in their intensity as the sensation began to stir her passion. I ran the fingers of my right hand along the inside of her haunches, then along the dark grey fleshy folds of her outer labia, eliciting a deep breathy moan. I was about to continue when I heard the door-bell ring, causing me to remove my hands from her.

"Ooooh, why did you stop, Michael?" she asked, her eyes clenched shut as she had allowed herself to revel in the pleasurable sensation I was giving her.

"Somepony rang your doorbell," I replied flatly. "I'd go get it, but you're the only pony who's seen me, aside from your sister."

I heard the front door open at this point and two sets of hooves on the floor of the main room.

"He's upstairs with my sister! I don't know who or what he is, but -- come on!" beckoned a high-pitched female voice. I wracked my memory to recall whose voice it was.

"I half-way wonder if he's even still here," replied the other voice. No mistake, that was Twilight. I heard some more idle banter between the two as they made their way upstairs, the sound of softer hoofsteps a little louder than the following set. The door to Rarity's boudoir opened to reveal a white filly with pink and purple mane and tail and Ponyville's resident librarian, Twilight Sparkle. My face lit up with a smile upon seeing her.

"Well, that saves us a trip to the library," I observed, nudging the fashionista with my right hand. She turned around to see her sister and her friend, both with their mouths wide open, no words coming out. "Twilight, what a pleasant surprise -- I was hoping to meet you sooner or later. And you must be Sweetie Belle -- it's a pleasure to meet you!" I beamed.

"Rarity, what -- what is that -- that creature next to you?" asked the lavender unicorn.

"Twilight, darling, his name is Michael, and he's a human! He woke up laying next to me in my bed this morning, but he said something about having wanted to wake up laying next to you for some reason or other! Sweetie Belle, he has not harmed me, so you may relax."

"You -- you're -- a -- human?" Twilight asked me, her expression still one of shock. "Why -- why -- did you -- want to -- wake up -- laying next to ME?"

"You're my favorite pony, Twilight. I have no idea why I ended up laying next to Rarity, but -- what's done is done," I replied. Her gaze narrowed at me.

"And just what have you done with her?" she asked coldly.

"I showed her something called boku-maru," I replied, grinning sheepishly at the mare.

"I've never heard of that before -- what is that?"

"Lay on your back, on Rarity's bed, with your hooves dangling off the end of it," I instructed.

"I'm NOT having SEX with you!" the librarian exclaimed angrily.

"Boku-maru is NOT sex, Twilight," I stated. "It's kind of like a passive flow of energies between two people or ponies or something."

"Michael, darling, please let me do that with Twilight first!" the fashionista interjected, sidling up to her friend and grinning broadly. "Mmmmh, Twilight, darling, you simply must experience this! It's absolutely wonderful!"

"You already did that with that -- that -- human?" asked Twilight.

"Of course, darling! His touch is -- indescribable!"

"Okay, so -- what am I supposed to do?"

"We both lay on our backs and press our hind hooves together, dear!"

"Uhhh, okay," Twilight offered hesitantly, then lay on her back on the floor. Rarity proceeded to lay on the floor and scoot closer until the two unicorns' hind hooves were touching, I watched with keen interest, as did Sweetie Belle. The filly had a curious smile on her face as she watched the two mares try to boku-maru.

"Am I supposed to be feeling something?" asked Twilight.

"Um, yes, darling, you are -- but -- I'm not feeling anything, either! Michael, why is it not working?"

"You are supposed to be in a relaxed state of mind to begin with -- as I told you earlier, the energy flows on its own accord -- you cannot force it, nor must you try to force it, otherwise it won't work."

"Michael, darling, why don't you try that with Twilight?" asked Rarity as she rose to her hooves, a look of disappointment on her face.

"Um, uhhh -- what's it supposed to feel like?" asked Twilight as she rose to her hooves and stared at me, taking in the sight of me.

"You're not supposed to know what it feels like, Twilight -- you're supposed to let the flow of energy happen. I believe it's different for every person or pony who does it," I mused. Twilight had already hopped onto Rarity's bed and put her hind legs over the end, her hooves straight out. "Hmm, you seem eager to try this -- it might not work for us, either. Try to relax, Twilight -- find your center and focus on it, empty your mind of all thought."

I lay on the floor at this point and raised my legs, lightly touching the soles of my feet against the frogs of Twilight's hind hooves. A light tingling sensation ran from my feet down my legs and into my back, then into my mind. I sighed in contentment at the feeling. A similar sensation must have made an impact on the librarian as I heard her moan in pleasure at the sensation.

'Mmmmmh! Yessssss!" she moaned, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she allowed the pleasure of this sensation to take her. I broke contact first, laying my legs flat on the floor. As I lay on the floor, the librarian poked her head over the foot of the bed, a big toothy grin on her face.

"Ooooh, Michael! I wanna do that again!" she cooed. I turned to my left to witness Rarity and her sister engaged in a similar position.

"Rarity, you should be careful when you do that with --"

"Oooooooh!" the filly cried in ecstasy, her eyes clenched shut. Rarity held her hooves against her sister's and didn't seem to hear me advise her. Taking matters into my own hands, I went over to them and physically separated Rarity from her sister.

"Michael! What did you do THAT for?!"

"Rarity, you have to be careful who you boku-maru with -- and you should never do it with anypony that young!" I replied sharply. "The flow of energy is very strong, and the young can be damaged by it."

"Ooooooh!" the filly cried as she pranced around the room, a look of sheer bliss on her face.

"You also have to be careful, because if everypony does this, nopony will want to do anything else. Boku-maru is something which should be shared only by two who love each other deeply --"

"Ooooh, Michael! Does that mean you love me?" asked a beaming Twilight.

"I do, but I already promised to marry Rarity," I replied, causing the librarian's face to fall. "I wanted to see your reaction to it -- I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

"I'm not gonna let you marry my sister!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she got up in my face. The fashionista grabbed her sister in her magic and brought her over to where she was to face her.

"I know you don't want me to marry him, Sweetie -- but -- I'm not getting any younger, and the fact that he has offered to marry me -- have you any idea of how long it's been since I last had a stallion express such interest in me?"

"About ten years, from what you've told me earlier," the filly deadpanned, eliciting an annoyed huff from her sister.

"Um, Michael? Where did you learn how to do ... THAT?" the librarian asked, grinning broadly.

"I read about it in a book," I replied nonchalantly. "I've always wanted to do that for real-real, to see if it actually worked."

"A book? Which one? Who else have you done that with?"

"It's called "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut. I have only just today done that with you and Rarity -- and to be honest, doing it with you felt better than when I did it with Rarity, though I think that's because she tried to force the flow of energy when it started feeling good," I mused.

"Michael, daaaar-ling, why not let me try it again with you?" Rarity asked, beaming a big smile.

"Because you should limit it to once per day -- any more than that and you're asking for trouble," I responded matter-of-factly, staring the fashionista down with my gaze. Her smile vanished.

"But -- but -- darling! It felt so good!"

"I know -- and that's the temptation boku-maru presents -- that's why I told you it's something special, not to be abused or overused. I should have waited before showing Twilight about that, but if I had waited until after we get married, you would have become even angrier with me."

"Michael, darling, I'm not angry with you -- but -- PLEEEEASE? Just a little more boku-maru?"

"And you've already done that with your sister -- hmmmm. Perhaps one more time -- no. No, Rarity. NO!" I shouted as she glomped me and kissed me passionately before I forced her off me.

"Wow, she really likes you, Michael," the librarian giggled. "How old are you? You know Rarity's MMMPH!"

"Twilight, daaaaar-ling, please don't tell him how old I am!" the mare growled as she shoved a hoof deep into the librarian's mouth.

"I'm 50, what's it to you?" I asked. "Age ain't nothin' but a number, from what I've learned."

"Rarity's nearly as old as you, Michael," the librarian grinned.

"She already told me she is 37 -- that's immaterial, Twilight."

"She lied to you, Michael," Twilight responded before being bonked over the head by the fashionista's right hoof. "Ouch!"

"Twilight, daaaaaaaaaaaar-ling, I wouldn't tell him my age if I were you," she hissed.

"Oh, so you lied to me twice, eh? I knew you were self-conscious about your age, but -- that's just ridiculous! Didn't I tell you to be yourself and not something you aren't?"

"Okay! Okay! So -- so -- I'm 43! Please! Please don't be mad at me!"

"You're not lying to me, are you? You Pinkie Promise me you're telling me the truth about your age this time?" I asked, glaring sharply at the mare, who seemed to shrink back a little.

"How -- how do you know about Pinkie Promises?" she asked almost fearfully.

"I told you about that TV program I watched -- I may not have seen every episode, but I know about Pinkie Promises from a couple of them. I've heard that's the fastest way to lose somepony's friendship," I replied firmly.

"FOREVER!" Pinkie shouted from behind the bedroom door as she popped in and popped out again just as quickly.

"Ugh! Okay! I'm 45! Please, please stop pestering me about my age!" she wailed as she fell to the floor again. "Augh! Nopony is EVER going to marry me! I'm going to die an old mare who never got married!"

"Sweetie, is she always like this?" I asked the filly.

"Sometimes it's worse," she replied flatly.

I slowly walked over to her and knelt by her side again, placing my hands softly on her withers. "Ssh, ssh, Rarity -- it's going to be okay. I'm here for you," I whispered softly into her left ear.

"But -- but -- I can't marry you like that! You -- I need you to be a pony for me!"

"That's an awful lot to ask for, Rarity -- I've been a human for 50 years and I've never been a pony before. I see that none of you ponies have hands, and that's the biggest obstacle for me right there. Without hands, I will have a very difficult time adjusting," I stated.

"If you become a unicorn, you'll be able to use levitation and telekinesis, negating the need for hands," Twilight offered. "And if you become a unicorn, I'd hope you choose to be a handsome stallion -- if you do, I'd like to join your herd," she beamed, causing the fashionista to bop her on the head again. "OWWW!!"

"Twilight, daaaaaaaaar-ling, please don't make me any angrier with you," she growled.

"If I were to choose to be a pony, or more specifically a unicorn, my desire would be to experience being a mare -- I've always wanted to see what life is like from the opposite gender, and if Princess Celestia can transform me into a pony, that would be my preference."

Both mares gasped in shock and the filly grinned at me.

"Oooh, that would be so COOL!" Sweetie Belle chirped happily.

"Of all the possible outcomes! That -- that is -- the -- WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!!" the fashionista shrieked as she fell back on her fainting couch.

"Um, Michael? Why? Do you know how many mares there are here in Ponyville? If you chose to become a stallion --"

"I'd probably get as much pussy as Big MacIntosh does," I mused pensively.

"Michael, daaaar-ling, MacIntosh is a colt-cuddler -- he does not care for mares," Rarity offered coldly.

"So I'd be at the top of the dance card, so to speak," I chuckled. "Truth be told, I don't know if I want to have <that> much sex. That's what ruined my life to the point where I made my wish last night," I stated.

"What wish?" asked Twilight, though Sweetie Belle asked it at the same time.

"Last night before I laid down to sleep, I wished to wake up laying next to Twilight Sparkle in her bed in Ponyville. For some reason or other, I ended up waking next to Rarity instead -- probably because I like her almost as much as I like Twilight, and that I knew if I were to go running around Ponyville, I was going to need some clothes," I replied warmly.

"I made these for you, Michael, darling," Rarity smiled as she levitated the clothes to display them. "I may have misjudged how much extra fabric was needed on account of your unusual bodily movements." Twilight and Sweetie Belle gave a casual glance at the clothing before turning to face me again.

"If I could have brought some of my clothing from my homeworld here, that probably would have given you a better idea of how much fabric is needed. I must admit, though, that I like how soft the material you used for my clothing is -- not as soft as polyester, but -- I don't think you ponies can manufacture polyester."

"What's that?" asked Twilight.

"The pair of briefs I wear is a blend of 80 per cent polyester and 20 per cent cotton -- this gives them great breatheability and softness. Unfortunately, the company that made these no longer does, nor have they made them in more than 30 years. It was only by dint of good luck I was able to find and buy these," I stated, pulling the waistband out a little with my right index finger.

"Michael, darling, may I examine those?" Rarity grinned.

"It's the only thing I have that covers my modesty, Rarity -- I don't want to expose my shame in front of everypony here, especially your sister," I replied, glancing at the filly who had keened renewed interest in me. I grabbed Rarity's right fore-hoof and placed it on the front panel of my briefs, running it up and down on my lower abdomen, lightly brushing against my junk.

"Ooooh, darling! So soft! How is that even done?" she queried as she continued to move her hoof up and down the front of my briefs, even after I had released my hold on it.

"Polyester is a synthetic fiber, extruded from refined petroleum distillates. It's formed by stringing together long chains of polymer molecules to form the fabric," I explained. The fashionista continued to move her hoof on my briefs, mostly staying on the lowest part, which caused my manhood to rise to the occasion.

"Michael, darling, could you widen your stance for me?" she asked, a big toothy grin on her face. I decided to oblige her as she worked her hoof between my thighs, stroking my erection as she did so.

"Um, Michael, do you know the exact extrusion process?" asked a blushing Twilight as she worked an ink quill on parchment to take down some notes.

"Petroleum is refined in several ways --" I began before I physically removed Rarity's hoof from my erection, which had tented my briefs. She had taken to rubbing just that part of my anatomy to the exclusion of feeling the softness of the fabric, to the point where I was not far from climax. I glared at her in disapproval.

"Michael, darling, the fabric is so soft! I would like to touch it some more!"

"You were touching my penis, not my briefs -- I don't need you trying to bring me to climax." Rarity pouted at me almost petulantly.

"Um, if I kept rubbing it, would it get any longer?"

"No, Rarity -- not unless somepony was capable of using a certain size-enhancing magic on it," I replied, glancing at the librarian, who blushed when she saw that I had caught her staring at it.

"That's as long as it gets?"

"What, did you want to experience what it might feel like if I were to stick it in your pussy?" I asked, glaring at the fashionista hard enough to cut diamonds. She blushed deeply in response.

"Michael, daaaaaar-ling," she cooed softly, turning her head aside in embarrassment.

"You sound very smart! I'd like to know more about you, Michael!" Twilight exclaimed, annoyance coloring her words as she made a determined effort to steer the conversation in a new direction.

"Perhaps I might be able to set aside some time to tell you about myself -- as I was telling Rarity earlier, I was actually hoping to wake up next to you instead of her, but -- sometimes things happen for a reason. Rarity's close enough to my age that I think she and I would make quite a couple."

The alabaster mare glomped me again and kissed me passionately on my lips. "Ooooh, darling! I can just picture a royal wedding for the two of us! You as a stately and dapper unicorn stallion, and me! Dressed up in my best finery, of course!"

"And probably wearing five pounds of make-up on your face, I'll bet," I grumbled, eliciting sharp laughter from the filly and a few giggles from the librarian.

"Michael, daaaaaaaaar-ling, please don't talk about that!" she barked as she kicked my left shin with one of her hind legs. Without thinking, I administered a sharp slap to her right flank with my right hand.

"Oooooh, kinky are we? Do that again!" she implored breathily. I slapped her right flank again, using a little more force this time. "Aaaah! Yes! Again!" I slapped her flank harder this time, but not as hard as I could. "Aaaaah! Yes! MORE!" she commanded. I saw Twilight blush deeply and Sweetie grumble audibly and leave.

"Rarity, do you have to make him do that to you?" asked a flustered Twilight.

"Aaaah! Twilight! Darling! You have! No idea! This! Feels! OUCH! You're going! OW! A little! OW! Too hard! OW! Michael! OW! Darling! Don't hit me so hard! OW! OW! Please! Not! OW! So! HARD! OWW! OWWW!! OWWW!! OWWWWWW!!" she cried, the last word sounding more like a wail of pain -- I must admit, there was a part of me that was satisfied to hear that sound exit her mouth.

I slapped her flank as hard as I could a few more times, my face almost contorted in anger. Large red welts in the shape of my hand marked her right flank. "Don't kick me and I won't hit you so damned hard," I growled at her. "My shin bones are about the weakest in my body and if you break one of them, it'll take three months for it to heal." I saw a wicked grin cross her face for just the briefest moment before she smiled innocently at me. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Don't even think of deliberately injuring me," I hissed at her. "You don't want me to withhold boku-maru from you now, do you, or marry Twilight instead of you?"

"No! I promise! I won't hurt you again!" she replied fearfully, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Hey, what's boku-maru?" asked a perky pink earth pony who had taken that moment to pop in.

"I'm not telling you," I replied flatly. "And how did you get in here, anyway?"

"I'm not telling you," the party pony giggled. "Hey, Rares! You wanna show me what boku-maru is?"

"Rarity, if you do that with her, I will never speak to you again," I stated icily.

"Michael, darling, what did you say earlier about placing restrictions on boku-maru?"

"Let me put it like this, Rarity -- Pinkie Pie will overuse and abuse it repeatedly -- to the point where nopony will want to do anything other than engage in boku-maru. There are certain ponies who must never know the secret, lest they ruin it by debasing the original intent of the practice."

"I'm gonna find out that secret, no matter what it takes, Mikey!" she stated firmly before sticking her tongue out at me and disappearing as suddenly as she had appeared.

"Michael, darling, why would you place such a restriction on her? She's a fully grown mare!"

"Because she is still so much like a child -- she likes to play Pin the Tail at parties -- I outgrew that when I was eight years old. The last party I attended, which was held on behalf of my 25th birthday I might add, we did NOT play Pin the Tail -- I did dress up as a ninja, though..." I mused.

"Ooooooh! We can have a Ninja-style Pin the Tail party! Hey, Mikey! When's your next birthday?"

"It's about three days away, Pinkie -- it's my 50th birthday in three days," I replied dryly. "I wanted to do something special, considering that it's a milestone for me. I never thought I'd live that long."

"OOOOH! I gotta get an early start on planning that party for you! It's gonna be super-duper spectacu-fabbo-super-duper-boffo! You're gonna LOVE it!" Pinkie chirped joyfully as she bounded up and down in place.

"Michael, darling! You mustn't say such things! Why would you say that?" Rarity asked in horror.

"Because when I was 32, I suffered a mild heart attack. My health has always been a bit of an issue, and barring some beneficial magic of some sort or other, I don't know how much longer I'm going to live."

"Well, darling, we can get married and we can live out the rest of our days in happiness," she offered cheerfully. "And we can <boku-maru> with each other every single day!"

"Maybe we could have a boku-maru party! Wouldn't that be great?" asked Pinkie as she continued to bounce up and down gleefully. "We could do that at the wedding party! YES!"

"Of all the possible places to do that -- a wedding party with boku-maru? That is simply the WORST POSSIBLE THING!" I shouted at the ceiling. Rarity collapsed in a fit of giggles upon hearing me say that.

"Mmmh, darling! Why not?"

"I already told you, Rarity -- ugh! I'm already having second thoughts about showing you how to do that! Imagine going to the bakery, but no food's available! Imagine going to Applejack's farm, only to see the fruit rotting on the trees! Imagine going to the market, and nopony's there to sell or buy anything! Imagine going to Canterlot and seeing the Princesses engaged in boku-maru!"

"I'd pay good money to see that!" the fashionista chortled.

"And I'm sure Discord would love to see that as well!" I complained bitterly.

"Well, well, well! What a wickedly delicious idea! You'd be doing my work for me and all I'd have to do is sit back and watch the show!" the draconequus chuckled. "I knew it was a good idea to bring you over here!"

"You're a pest -- please do me a favor and go away and bother somepony else for a change," I stated matter-of-factly, staring at the chaos entity.

"Now where's the fun in that? I think I'll stick around to watch what happens," he mused before teleporting away as suddenly as he appeared.

"Michael, did you have to tempt fate like that? What's he going to do at our wedding?"

"Most likely, he'll simply sit and watch the whole thing -- unless Chrysalis decides to crash the wedding as well," I mused.

"MICHAEL! STOP THAT!" Twilight exclaimed angrily. "The last thing we need is the two of them working together!"

"I thought Discord had been reformed -- and the Changeling Queen should still be on the other side of the Everfree," I retorted.

"Just because I've been reformed doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself from time to time! Michael, you're a barrel of laughs! I'm glad I found you and brought you over here! If there are more like you back on your home world..."

"There might be a couple, but I would advise against that, unless you want a bunch of humans trying to take over all of Equestria. Count me out on that idea," I stated flatly.

"Oh, you're no fun. Well, I gotta be going! Ta-ta!"

"I wonder if Princess Celestia is going to show up like that," I mused aloud. "I would think that maybe a human visitor to Equestria, especially one brought across the dimensional barrier by Discord himself would alert the Ruler of the Sun to make it a top priority to pay this human a visit."

Silence fell upon us as we sat and waited -- I was secretly hoping the Solar Princess would take the bait and actually POP into the fashionista's work room. After about fifteen minutes of waiting, during which time Sweetie Belle got bored and started doodling on a sheet of paper and Twilight began pacing circles around the room, I stretched my body out, causing my joints to pop and crack noisily. The mares and the filly stared at me in shock, thinking I had injured myself. I rolled my eyes at them and chuckled softly.

"Looks like she's not coming, ladies," I stated aloud. "If she doesn't show now, it would appear we'll need to take a trip to Canterlot. I've always wanted to go there and see what it looked like for real-real."

Hell Hath No Fury...

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 3

My stomach growled audibly after about another half-hour of waiting, causing the mares to chuckle. I rolled my eyes at their reaction and patted my belly.

"I just fed you last night -- I can't be eating like this or I'm gonna end up getting really fat!"

Truthfully, it was already past mid-day and I hadn't eaten anything in almost 20 hours as my stomach protested loudly once again.

"Michael, darling, you must eat! It's not good to starve yourself! I'll prepare something for all of us to last us for the trip to Canterlot. I have a lot of shopping to do, so I'm glad you came up with the idea of going!"

"I thought we were going to Trottingham, Miss Rarity -- and truth to tell, I've never eaten Equestrian food before," I mused. "But please don't put any hay or grass or flowers in my food if you offer me some."

"That's right -- I need some milk, and Milky Way's shop has the best in Equestria. Michael, darling, let me fix your clothes up for you," the fashionista offered as she took the clothes she had made for me and undid the stitching, adding strips of fabric to the seams that had ripped on me earlier. While she was doing that, Twilight took the opportunity to ask me a few questions.

"So, Michael, where exactly did you come from? I've never seen a human before," she mused.

"Where I come from, we called it Earth," I replied casually.

"Do they do boku-maru there?" she asked, grinning broadly.

"I don't know, Twilight -- truthfully, I wanted to see how you ponies might react to it. I've never done it with any of my human female companions, even the one I've spent the past 21 years of my life with," I replied, eliciting a shocked look from the librarian. The fashionista turned her head towards me and shot me a curious glance.

"Michael, darling, was that the female you told me you were married to?"

"Yeah, that's her. I never did boku-maru with her, simply because she's not into what she considers to be kinky," I replied flatly. "Hopefully I'll never have to see her again -- you have no idea what living with her has been like for me."

"If you're still married to her, that makes marrying somepony else very difficult," Twilight mused.

"I know -- that's why I brought up the prospect of seeking a favor from Princess Celestia," I noted.

"If you hated being with her so much, why were you still with her?" asked Sweetie Belle. "Why did you stay with her for so long?"

"Sweetie Belle, you mustn't ask such personal questions! That's for me to do! Michael, darling, why did you stay with her for so long?"

"I don't know if you're familiar with the term Stockholm Syndrome," I began. I checked the ponies to gauge their reaction, though they all looked at me with curiosity. "Okay, let me explain. When I first met that woman, I had spent the previous six months in a state of deep depression after having broken up with my first intense relationship. I was desperate for female companionship and was willing to accept the first woman who would provide me the comfort and kindness I craved at the time. Shortly after that, she suggested we get married, since her parents and mine didn't want to see us living together without being married. I considered it a form of insurance, hoping that this woman wouldn't hurt me the way the first one did.

"As the years went by, her attitude towards me changed -- she became insecure, jealous, possessive, abusive -- I tried to leave her at least twice before, but each time she succeeded in tracking me down and forcing me to return to her house to continue with a relationship that had basically died for me.

"Cue last night, where I laid down to sleep in bed next to her, but for what must have been the thousandth time uttered my wish: I wish to wake up laying next to Twilight Sparkle in her bed in Ponyville tomorrow morning."

"But darling, you woke up laying next to ME!" Rarity declared incredulously. "Why would you wish to wake up laying next to Twilight?"

"Um, I thought I already told you, Miss Rarity -- Twilight is my favorite pony," I stated, causing the lavender unicorn to blush deeply, a coy smile playing on her lips.

"I kind of wish he had woken up next to me," Twilight mused softly, earning a glare from the fashionista.

"Twilight, darling, we can't always get what we wish for, now can we?" she grinned. "Michael, daaaaar-ling, would you be kind enough to tell me what you would have done had you woken up next to Twilight?"

"I would have explained who and what I am and informed her of my origin and my desires -- and also most likely would have asked her to marry me," I replied matter-of-factly.

"But you asked me first! Please, Michael, don't change your mind just because Twilight's here now!"

"Miss Rarity, I'm still a little uncertain about marrying anypony so soon after arriving here -- I need some time to get to know you ponies better. I just hope you don't take that the wrong way," I responded.

"Well, darling, you know it's been a long time for me! I don't have a lot of time left to wait for some handsome stallion to ask for my hoof in marriage!"

"Michael, how do you know about us? There has to be some other reason why you'd wish to wake up laying next to me," the librarian mused.

"Where I come from, there's this thing called the internet -- it's a world-wide network of interconnected computers capable of allowing people to communicate with each other all around the world. It also allows people to do research on all sort of topics, it allows people to view recorded video content anytime they want, it allows people to post stories, personal information, daily activities, and various observations and criticisms. There are these pages people can search through called websites -- one such website allows users to post stories they write. That one caught my interest because I like certain stories."

"What sort of stories do you like to read?" asked Twilight.

"How naughty are those stories?" Rarity queried, a big grin on her face. The librarian blushed.

"You like trashy fiction? There's an awful lot of that on the internet," I offered.

"Are there any stories like that involving us ponies, darling?"

"Ummm, I hope there aren't any stories about me," Twilight declared, giving me a nervous glance.

"Oh, Twilight -- the internet can be a wonderful thing, but it gets abused very badly -- you're the main character on that TV show I was talking about, so most of the stories I find which catch my interest involve you and certain other ponies as well. Trixie plays a role in a few of them, too," I added. This elicited shocked looks on both mares' faces, though the filly giggled a little.

"Michael, darling, why talk about her? Have you any idea of how much trouble she caused for us the last time she was here?"

"I'm curious to see how she might react to boku-maru," I mused.

"Michael, daaaaaaaaaaaaar-ling, if you do that with her, I shall never speak to you again!"

"How about if you do that with her?" I grinned. "Do you think she'll enjoy it so much she'll want to do nothing but boku-maru? Think about it -- the "great and powerful" Trixie reduced to seeking anypony willing to boku-maru with her! She'll be begging for it!"

"Trixie will be begging for what?" asked the show-mare, who had surreptitiously entered the room.

"Trixie, where did you come from?" I asked. Upon seeing me, she nearly fainted.

"I brought her here, Michael! I'm curious to see this as well!" Discord chortled.

"I thought I told you to go somewhere," I grumbled. I approached Trixie at this point, watching her back herself towards the nearest wall. Twilight and Rarity grinned at this.

"Don't hurt her, Michael," advised a worried Sweetie Belle.

"I have no intention of doing that, Sweetie," I replied as I was now fairly close to the show-mare, her expression one of near fright. I kneeled and took her right fore-hoof in mine, gazing into her eyes. "Enchantee, Trixie," I stated softly. I watched her expression soften towards me.

"You -- you -- are -- Michael?" she stammered as she tried to regain a little composure.

"I don't know why Discord seemed so fascinated by seeing your reaction to me -- perhaps he wants to see us boku-maru," I mused.

"What's that?" the azure unicorn queried, a puzzled look on her face.

"Trixie, daaaaaar-ling, please allow me to show you!" Rarity offered, grinning broadly.

"Trixie is not so sure about this -- she does not even know what -- boku-maru -- is! Trixie doesn't want to do something that might hurt her!"

The mares giggled and I chuckled softly. "Oh, Trixie, it's not gonna hurt you -- but you might enjoy it too much," I offered slyly.

"Trixie will choose whom she will do that with," she stated arrogantly. She glanced around the room and saw Rarity, Twilight, Sweetie Belle, Discord, and me, though I was still on one knee right in front of her. I smiled warmly at her, gazing into her eyes. She raised her right fore-hoof again and tapped me on my right shoulder. "Trixie will boku-maru with this -- this -- what are you?"

"I'm a human, Miss Trixie -- the least you could have done was call me by my name, but that's okay. Miss Rarity, please forgive me for what I'm about to do," I stated reverently. She growled in response, eliciting a smug grin on the show-mare's face.

"Trixie wants to know how this is done," she stated flatly. Without bothering to answer her, I crouched in front of her and grabbed her with both arms, then stood up, lifting her in one smooth motion. "AAAAAAAAHHH! Put Trixie down! AAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed. This resulted in the other ponies laughing, joined by Discord who chuckled at her reaction. I grinned and carried her to the bed, placing her on her back on it.

"Now dangle your hind legs over the edge of the bed for me, Trixie," I requested.

"Trixie demands that you show her some respect, Michael!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"Do you want to do this or not? You need to relax, find your center, empty your mind of all thought," I instructed as I lay on the floor, my knees bent with my shins up, parallel to her hind legs. She did not move her hooves, so I placed the soles of my feet gently against the frogs, allowing a gentle sensation of soft energy to flow between us.

"Mmmmmh, Trixie likes this," she observed softly, a cheerful tone to her voice. She pushed her hooves against my feet a little harder, seemingly in an attempt to intensify the sensation, which ebbed as a result of her attempt to force the flow of energy.

"Trixie wants to know why it stopped," she stated with disappointment.

"You tried to force the flow of energy, darling," Rarity answered. "Michael told me that boku-maru is about allowing the energy to flow on its own accord."

"Trixie wants to try that again," she requested, a petulant look on her face.

"Michael, may I do that with her?" asked Twilight.

"Why are you asking me, Twilight? Ask Trixie -- oh, you're nodding your head, are you? Okay, Twilight, looks like Trixie's willing to let you boku-maru with her," I chuckled. Both mares quickly assumed the proper position on the floor, their hind hooves touching softly. I watched both of them clench their eyes shut as the pleasure of the sensation overtook them. They moaned softly, then a little louder, then as the flow of energy aroused them further, they began gasping.

"Michael, darling, is it supposed to feel that good?"

"AAAAAH! YESSSSS!" Twilight moaned as she succumbed to her passion.

"OOOOOOHHH!" Trixie moaned as she climaxed with the librarian. The two mares broke off their contact at that point and smiled warmly at each other. Trixie simply nodded her head, a big grin on her face.

"Ooooh, Trixie! That -- that was -- nice!" Twilight chirped.

"Trixie concurs, Sparkle! Trixie wants to do that again!"

"Trixie, darling, how about doing that with me?" Rarity asked, grinning broadly.

"Trixie does not want to do that with you," she replied almost dismissively. "Trixie only wants to do that with Sparkle."

"Michael, daaar-ling, how about another go with me?" she asked as she sidled up to me, batting her eyes rapidly, a big toothy grin on her face.

"Oh, all right, Rarity. One more time for today -- but that's it. You don't wanna overdo it," I replied, a hint of a patronizing tone to my voice. Rarity eagerly hopped on her bed and propped her hind legs over the end.

"Please, Michael! Don't keep me waiting!" she exclaimed impatiently. I shook my head in irony as I laid back down on the floor and propped my feet against her hind hooves. This time the fashionista allowed the energy to flow naturally -- she did not try to force it. I allowed the sensation to envelop me once again, this time feeling a little softer than last. The faintness of the energy flow left me feeling a little disappointed -- and Rarity noticed this as well. She pressed her hooves harder against my feet in an attempt to intensify the feeling, which disappeared as soon as she tried to force it.

"What happened?" she asked dejectedly. She gave me a sad-eyed look.

"I told you -- once per day is best, otherwise you weaken it. You have to be willing to accept it, as does your partner. I must confess, my heart wasn't in it this time -- I'm sorry, Rarity -- don't look at me like that! I tried to tell you! You didn't listen!" I admonished sharply.

"You would rather boku-maru with Twilight, wouldn't you?" she asked, glowering at me. "You don't even want to marry me, do you?" she asked as her voice wavered. "You think I'm ugly and too old for you, don't you?" she wailed as tears began trickling down her cheeks again. She lay face down on her bed, sobbing once again.

"Trixie thinks we should leave, Sparkle," the show-mare observed, giving the librarian an obvious wink.

"That sounds like a good idea," she responded as she rose to her hooves and began trotting towards the door. "Um, see you later, Rarity -- you too, Michael," she stated as she left, followed closely by Trixie. I heard their hoofsteps as they went downstairs, then closed the front door behind them. I glanced around the room and noticed Sweetie Belle still standing nearby, but Discord had left as well -- most likely when Rarity and I tried to boku-maru for the second time that day.

"Um, Michael? I'll be in my room if Rarity needs anything," the filly offered before turning tail and trotting off to her room. The fashionista continued to moan and bewail her fate again, her histrionics beginning to wear on my patience.

"Miss Rarity. I need your full attention," I stated firmly.

"You don't even like me!" she wailed, her sobs wracking her body as she seemed to convulse on her bed. "You like Twilight more than you like me!"

I scrunched my face up in anger and slapped her right flank with my right hand to get her attention. She turned over and glared at me angrily.

"Don't you EVER do that to me again!" she screeched, her eyes flashing red. Her horn seemed to glow with a red aura to match her temper. Without thinking, I placed the thumb and first two fingers of my right hand on her horn, perhaps in an attempt to snuff out the flame, so to speak. This elicited a look of shock on her face, her eyes going wide, her mouth opening in a gasp of surprise. My expression was still one of anger.

"Are you threatening me, Miss Rarity? I don't like that," I intoned sharply.

"Get -- get -- your -- hand -- off my horn!" she wailed.

I released my hold on her horn and turned my back to her, silently walking towards the door of her room. She watched as I opened it and ducked under the low door-frame. If I had turned around to look at her, I most likely would have seen a look of desperation on her face, but by this time I was making my way downstairs. The stairs complained loudly as my heavy footsteps caused each one to creak and groan in protest. The mare rose to her hooves and stood at the top of the staircase.

"Michael?" she asked plaintively.

I glanced at her, my left eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, Miss Rarity -- perhaps to the library, if I can find it," I replied matter-of-factly. She raced down the stairs and blocked my path as I found myself stunned by her swiftness.

"Michael, darling, please forgive me! Please, Michael -- please don't leave! Please!" she begged, giving me her sad-eyes look again. I strode past her towards the front door of the boutique, still only wearing my skivvies. "Michael -- if you leave, I shall never speak to you again!"

I sighed heavily, giving her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Miss Rarity," I stated sadly as I opened the front door and walked out, closing it behind me. Standing on her doorstep, I heard her start wailing again. I took a few tentative steps forward, contemplating her words. Ultimately, the need for clothing took precedence over my pride, so I returned to the front door and opened it without ringing the doorbell or knocking. She glanced up at me at this point and smiled.

"I knew you'd come back, darling! Please tell me you've changed your mind about me!"

"Miss Rarity, I need some clothes," I stated rather bluntly, maintaining a neutral expression. She pranced over to me, a smile on her face.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, et magnifique!" she chirped. "How may I help you, darling?"

"Miss Rarity, I need some clothes," I implored a little more impatiently.

"But of course, darling, please follow me," she cooed, her grin widening.

I followed just a couple of paces behind her as she led the way towards her kitchen. Between the main room and the kitchen there was a door she opened, which led to a staircase she then began to descend. I raised an eyebrow, wondering why she would lead me downstairs. Mentally recalling some of the more gruesome movies I had seen in the past and certain other stories I had read, I refused to follow her down and stood at the top of the stairs.

"Michael, darling, I need you to come down here," she implored, a hint of anger in her voice.

"I'm not going down there, Miss Rarity," I called out, my voice echoing down the staircase. She started making her way back up the stairs, a sheepish grin on her face.

"I'm sorry, darling, I have no idea why I went down there," she offered.

"My guess is that if I were to go down there, I'd never come back up," I replied, glaring at the mare. Her eyes widened a bit at this before she recovered some of her composure.

"Uh, there's nothing of interest down there, Michael, so -- let's just forget about that, okay?"

"Then why did you try to lead me down there, Miss Rarity?" I asked, my anger beginning to rise. "You weren't trying to kill me, were you?"

"No! No, of course not, darling! I -- I would never do that to you!" she replied nervously. She looked like she was knitting her brows, a few beads of sweat trickling down the sides of her head.

"You've piqued my curiosity, Miss Rarity -- I'd like to see what's down there," I stated as I picked her up with my right arm, hefting her over my back before turning to the door and opening it.

"Unf! Put me down, you ruffian!" she protested as she pounded my back with her forehooves. I carefully made my way down the stairs, the light flickering a little. Rarity lit her horn and caused the light to go out.

"Obviously there's something down here you don't want me to see," I stated as I turned around and went back up the stairs. "If you don't turn the light back on --"

"You'll what?" she asked, a menacing tone to her voice. "You should be careful about making threats you cannot back up, Michael, darling," she warned. I chose not to answer her as I carefully made my way back up the stairs and closed the door behind me. I set her gently on the floor, then walked back to the front door of the boutique.

"I'm sorry, Miss Rarity -- it was a mistake for me to come here in the first place," I stated flatly before closing the door behind me.

"Wait! Michael, please wait!" she called out after me. I had already started walking down the street, attracting the attention of everypony as the fashionista dashed out her front door and galloped to catch up with me. "Michael, darling! I'm sorry! Please, please come back!"

"I have nothing more to say to you, Miss Rarity," I stated brusquely as I continued to walk towards a large oak tree I saw off in the distance. The mare continued to follow me as I walked, though I heard murmuring from quite a few ponies who gawped at me.

"Michael! Please! I'm sorry!" she called out after me.

"I know you are," I responded darkly as I continued to walk, paying the fashionista little attention. A bouncing pink earth pony caught up with us.

"Hey, Mikey, where ya going, huh? Huh?" she asked. "Hey, Rarity, where's he going?"

"I think he's heading to the library, Pinkie," she replied sullenly. "Michael, darling, please! Please forgive me! I'll be good to you this time! I promise!"

I whirled around at this point, the fashionista bumping into me. I kneeled and tapped her on her muzzle with my right index finger. "Do you Pinkie Promise?" I asked, glaring sternly at her. I glanced to my right and saw the pink pony's expression harden considerably, not at me, but at Rarity, almost boring a large hole through the mare.

"Don't make me say it, Rares," the baker warned, before putting her front teeth over her lower lip to begin pronouncing a word that began with an "F." The alabaster mare gave me a very worried look, which I returned with an even harsher gaze, a deep frown etched on my face.

"You're not supposed to know about Pinkie Promises, darling," she grinned sheepishly.

"FOREVER!!" Pinkie shouted, her expression almost matching mine exactly.

The fashionista fell to the ground and began sobbing and wailing again. I turned around and resumed my trek to the library without bothering to address her, the pink pony bouncing alongside me as I walked. Amazingly enough, Rarity galloped ahead of us and turned to face me once again, this time her expression one of fury, her horn lit an angry red once again.

"You! You have humiliated me for the last time!" she exclaimed. Once again, I snuffed her horn with my right thumb, index and middle fingers.

"Shut up, Rarity. I don't really care if I need any clothes or not -- I'm tired of dealing with you," I responded before sighing heavily again. "I'm really sorry, Rarity."

"Then why don't you show it, Michael?" she asked, her tone changing again.

"I don't know what to think of you, Miss Rarity. I thought perhaps we could make a relationship work -- but I believe I was mistaken about that." She trotted over to me and hugged my knees with her forelegs, giving me a hurt look, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

"Michael, darling, please give me one more chance! I promise -- neigh, I Pinkie Promise to be good to you this time!"

Pinkie glowered at the fashionista and stomped her right forehoof on the ground. Rarity hesitated a bit before she began the traditional moves required of a Pinkie Promise.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," Rarity stated reverently as she smiled at me, making a criss-crossing motion over her chest with her right forehoof, then placing the hoof over her left eye.

"Very well then, Miss Rarity, you have earned yourself another chance. Don't blow it, or you'll have to answer to Pinkie Pie," I stated flatly. The baker nodded her head firmly in agreement with me. I turned to the baker and smiled at her. "Hey, Pinkie, where's your sister Maud?"

"She's back at the rock farm, Mikey! You wanna meet her?"

"She's one of the ponies I'd like to meet in person, Pinkie -- along with a certain milkmare in Trottingham," I replied warmly. Pinkie's face lit up with a huge grin.

"Oooh! Yeah, I know her! She's Bon-Bon's cousin! She usually comes to visit once a month -- and I think it might actually be today! You wanna come with me and meet them?"

"Of course, Pinkie -- although meeting them in my present state of decolletage is rather embarrassing, but -- if you ponies go around naked, I don't really see too much wrong with me running around in my skivvies."

"I tried to fashion some clothing for you, Michael, darling," Rarity protested.

"I know -- and you made them too small for me," I replied flatly. Pinkie began bouncing her way in a different direction, beckoning me to follow her. Rarity trailed me as I followed the baker back towards the center of town. A certain mint-green unicorn mare seemed to be spying on us, though her attempt to conceal her presence was woefully inadequate.

"Hey, Pinkie, I think we're being tailed," I chuckled. Truthfully, my presence was causing quite a disturbance among all the ponies in town, most of them gawping at me and more than a few of them talking about me loud enough for me to hear them.

"Excuse me, is there something you'd like to say to my face?" I asked a certain sky-blue pegasus with an unkempt multi-hued mane and tail.

"Yeah! What are you doing around here? Pinks, what the hay? Who or what is this -- this -- what are you, anyway?"

"Rainbow Miriam Dash. My name is Michael Walker and I am a human from another universe -- I must admit, it is truly an honor to meet the fastest flier in Equestria in the flesh," I grinned.

"My middle name is Danger, not Miriam! How -- how do you know about that? NOPONY is supposed to know about that!" the aviatrix exclaimed, a hurt look on her face.

"It was a guess on my part -- I read about you in a story awhile back, one that conjectured that you carried the name of Miriam," I replied softly. "I'm sorry if I upset you about that."

"Well -- don't let it happen again! And don't call me by my full name anymore, please!"

"Okay, sorry, Dash," I replied, scratching the mare behind her left ear.

"Mmmmh, that feels nice!" she cooed. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"Sorry about that -- I couldn't resist the temptation to scratch you behind the ears," I replied as I removed my hand from the back of her head.

"No, no -- please! Please keep doing that! That feels so good!"

"I wonder how good boku-maru might feel for you," I mused as I scratched the back of her head again.

"Mmmmh, if it's anything like this, I'll bet it'll feel wonderful!" the mare chirped. "Hey, could you scratch me a little lower on my neck?"

"Michael, darling, don't we have somewhere to go?" asked Rarity.

"Um, Rainbow, we were on our way to meet up with Bon-Bon and Milky Way," I stated as I removed my hand again.

"Uh, you wanna take a rain-check on scratching me some more? You're really good at that," she grinned before taking off into the sky. I hadn't even had time to answer her question.

"What'd you think of Rainbow Dash, Mikey?" asked the bouncing pink party pony.

"She's cute, I'll give her that -- but I don't think I know her well enough to formulate an opinion of her one way or another," I replied.

"Oooooh, you think I'm cute?" the pegasus grinned as she peered down from a perch atop a nearby cloud. "You're kinda cute yourself, Mikey!"

"Thanks, Dash -- but I'll have you know I'm 50 years old," I responded warmly.

"I hope I look that good when I'm 50!" the aviatrix exclaimed in astonishment.

"I hope you look better than this," I replied, patting my belly with my right hand.

"Come on, Mikey, we're almost there!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly as she bounced a bit further along.

"Seeya later, Dash," I called out to her as I resumed following the baker on our way to Bon-Bon's house, the mint-green unicorn mare still tailing us and failing miserably at trying to conceal this fact.

"Lyra, darling, what are you doing?" asked Rarity as the two mares practically bumped into each other.

"I simply MUST know! Is -- is that -- a -- HUMAN?" she asked, a big grin on her face. Upon hearing this, I turned around and knelt in front of her.

"You are most certainly correct, Miss Lyra -- I am indeed a human -- what would you like to know?" I asked warmly.

"Um, were you headed over to my house? I, um, I live with Bon-Bon," she stated, her nervousness causing her voice to tremble.

"I was informed that your housemate has her cousin visiting her -- and I'm curious to meet both of them," I replied warmly, smiling at the mare.

"Oh -- yes, that's right -- Bon-Bon told me Milky Way was coming today -- but, um...why were you wanting to meet them? What's so special about them that you would come from ... where did you come from? Are there those metal boxes you humans go around in back in ... wherever it is you came from?"

"We call them cars, or automobiles -- I made my living by delivering pizza by way of my car," I replied. "Where I came from, we called my homeworld Earth, but depending on where a person lived, they might call it Terra or Gaia, or something else, depending on the language."

"That is so cool! I'd like to learn everything I can about your homeworld! Um, would you mind staying at my house so I can write down everything you tell me?"

"I was actually planning on staying with Rarity at her boutique -- I suppose you could stop by and visit me from time to time until you recorded everything you needed from me," I replied, noting the fashionista's harsh glare turn into a grin when I gave the mint-green mare my answer.

"Oh. Um, I was hoping you would stay at my house," Lyra stated sullenly. At this point, we arrived at our destination and stood at the front doorstep. "Um, this is my house -- I think Bon-Bon's inside, so -- give me a moment, please," she stated before entering the house. I stepped back a few paces from the doorstep. After a few minutes of waiting, the front door opened again to reveal a cream-coated earth pony mare, her expression one of puzzlement.

"Who -- who -- or -- what --"

"Miss Bon-Bon, my name is Michael Walker, and I am a human -- I thought Lyra would have told you that," I stated.

"But -- but -- I -- I had no -- idea -- you -- you were -- so big!" she replied, her voice trembling. "What - what do you want?"

"Miss Bon-Bon, is your cousin Milky Way here?" I asked. Before she could answer, a butter-yellow earth pony mare with large tresses of deep blue for a mane and tail came to the front door.

"Bon-Bon, who called my name?" the mare asked before noticing me. "Um -- uh -- you -- you are --?"

"Oooh, I had no idea you were so beautiful!" I exclaimed, much to the chagrin of a certain fashionista, whose face turned bright red with anger. The yellow mare blushed, her face turning a lovely shade of rouge. "Mmmh, Milky Way, your beauty is enhanced by your blush!"

A Miraculous Recovery and a Dark Secret Exposed

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The Human, The Fashionista, and the Milkmare

Chapter 4

The fashionista kicked me in my right shin as hard as she could, causing me to cry out and buckle to the ground, clutching my leg in sheer agony. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as I grimaced in pain. The other mares present gasped in horror upon seeing this, the yellow mare trotting over to me as she inspected my leg.

"Rarity! You made a Pinkie Promise! And you BROKE IT not ten minutes after making it!" the pink pony exclaimed in shock.

"Can you move it?" asked Milky Way as I continued to hold it firmly with both hands. I pulled my hands away from the impact point and saw a dark purple and yellow bruise appear. I gingerly tried to stand, perhaps in an attempt to place some weight on my right leg. I immediately regretted having done that as I cried out in pain once again and collapsed to the ground.

"Michael, darling, I am so sorry!" the fashionista exclaimed as she trotted around to face me. Pinkie Pie recovered from her shock enough to give Rarity the harshest glare she could muster.

"FOREVER!!" she yelled before turning to me with sympathy in her eyes and trotting over to help me.

"Pinkie, could you dash over to the hospital and get somepony to help me?" I asked, the tears trickling from my eyes as I held my broken leg. "Rarity, do me a favor and go home before I do something I might regret later on," I implored. "Bon-Bon, Milky Way -- do either of you have a first-aid kit or something? Lyra, can you work some sort of healing magic on me, or can you get Twilight to come here and help me?"

"Sure thing, Mikey!" Pinkie exclaimed, saluting me and galloping comically fast towards the hospital. I watched in amazement as she sped off, reminding me of a certain roadrunner.

"Michael, darling, I am so sorry! Please, please forgive me!" the fashionista begged, tears trickling from her eyes again.

"Go. Home. NOW," I hissed. She bowed her head to me, her ears lowered and whimpered as she turned tail and sullenly trotted towards her boutique.

"Michael, is it? I'm on my way to get Twilight," Lyra declared firmly as she trotted away.

"Mmmh, Michael, I'm so sorry," Milky Way offered softly as she sidled up to me. "I don't know if there's anything I can do to help you."

"I'm sorry, Michael, but -- we don't keep a first-aid kit in our house -- we have a hard enough time trying to keep up with our rent payments. Lyra does what she can to earn her money, and me -- well -- I hate to admit this, but -- I haul garbage for a living," Bon-Bon replied.

"Milky Way, I brought this on myself -- I have to confess to you -- I woke up this morning laying next to Rarity -- in her bed, no less --"

"You laid in bed with her last night?" the yellow mare asked, her gaze hardening at me.

"Um, no, Milky Way -- last night I laid down next to my human wife, but before I drifted off to sleep, I made a wish to wake up in Ponyville -- laying next to Twilight, not Rarity. Perhaps I should have wished to wake up laying next to you, Miss Milky Way," I grinned. She blushed again, smiling softly. "Rarity told me you were looking for a good stallion," I added.

"She should keep her mouth shut," the mare replied firmly. "She gossips too much. How badly does that hurt?"

"It feels like it's broken," I replied. "I hope I can get some help quickly." My stomach growled again at this point.

"Um, when was the last time you ate?"

"I dunno -- it was yesterday some time, perhaps early evening," I replied. The mare had moved in such a way as to inadvertently show me her very large teats, which hung from her underside rather heavily. I couldn't tear my gaze away from them.

"Something wrong with me?" she asked innocently.

"No, Miss Milky Way -- um -- I was kinda wondering about -- your teats," I replied. She giggled.

"I get that all the time," she replied nonchalantly. "They need milking on a fairly frequent basis -- no stallion I have encountered knows how to do the process properly -- I have a machine that does it for me back home, but when I'm away visiting my cousin -- sometimes I need help."

"Like, right now?" I asked.

"Mmmh, I suppose now's not a bad time to teach you, if it doesn't cause you too much pain. Have you ever done anything like this before?"

"Well -- no, I haven't -- but I'm curious to know if I can succeed where others have failed," I mused. "How would I go about the task of milking you?"

"Let me get a bucket -- I'll be right back," she stated as she went back into the house, then returned a few moments later with something which looked like a mop bucket. "Bon-Bon says it's clean," she stated after setting it on the ground near me. I was still clutching my right leg, the pain still numbingly bad.

"I don't know if I can do this for you," I stated sullenly. Even sitting up proved to be quite painful.

"Okay, Michael, just lay down for a moment -- straighten out your leg, please," she stated. I complied with her request, noting that letting my leg rest allowed some of the pain to subside as I lay on the ground, the coolness against my back giving me additional relief. The mare trotted over to me, smiling warmly, then stood over me, her teats dangling against my face. I noted their softness and commented on it, though I also noticed how closely they resembled a human female's breasts, except for the coloration.

"Perhaps you can suckle them?" she asked, a cheerful note to her voice.

"I guess I can try -- how full are they?"

"Full enough, Michael," she giggled. I began by placing my mouth over the one to my right, lightly licking the nipple, causing her to coo softly. "Mmmh, are you going to tease me, or are you going to milk me?"

I squeezed it lightly with my right hand, squirting her milk all over my face. The warmth of the liquid surprised me and the scent caused me to wrinkle my nose. I sneezed, causing her to giggle again. I opened my mouth wider, wrapping my lips around as much of the teat as I could, then squeezed again. I was rewarded with a stream of rich, thick, warm, sweet milk sliding down my throat. I continued to squeeze the teat lightly, sucking on it and drinking heavily of her milk. The sensation caused her to moan deeply, a sound I found quite erotic. She must have noticed this, because my manhood tented my briefs again. Somehow or other, she must have instinctively known what to do as I felt something warm, wet, and soft against my manhood, enveloping it completely.

I moved the other teat to my mouth and repeated the earlier process, squeezing it and sucking on it, and drinking the milk which flowed from it, though quite a lot of it ran down my cheeks. I would occasionally take short breaks so I could catch my breath before resuming the task of milking her in this most unusual fashion. As I continued to milk her, she continued her ministrations to my manhood, causing my body to stiffen and tense up. Apparently, the attention I was giving her teats likewise had her body stiffening and tensing as I could sense not only my orgasm but hers approaching as well.

"You don't want a mouthful of my seed, do you?" I asked facetiously as I took another quick break to catch my breath.

"I don't mind at all, Michael -- just, ooooh, just keep milking me!" she replied breathily.

Her milk had an unusually sweet flavor to it, one I couldn't place -- it tasted nothing like cow's milk from my homeworld -- this mare's milk was thicker, sweeter, and more pleasant tasting than standard cow's milk. I moved back and forth between her teats, pushing her into a shuddering climax as she moaned very deeply. This matched her efforts on me, her expertise causing me to groan and grunt my approval of her methods as she caused me to climax, my seed filling her mouth.

"Mmmh, tasty," she commented as she licked her lips, then licked my shaft to claim every last drop.

"I wonder if your love juices are as tasty as your milk," I mused as I gasped a few times to catch my breath. "Um, did I do a good enough job of milking you?"

"Michael!" she giggled. "You did very well! I'm going to have to make visiting you a priority! Where are you staying?"

"I dunno -- I was under the impression I'd be staying with Rarity, but given the way she's treated me -- well -- I don't think I wanna stay with her any more." I noticed the pain in my right leg seemed to have vanished, so I tried to move it once again. I was able to move it a little, but the pain had dulled down to a throbbing ache instead of a sharp shooting pain.

"Michael, you're moving your leg! Does it still hurt?"

"Yeah, a little -- but nowhere near as badly as it was earlier," I replied. "Does your milk have some sort of magical healing property to it?"

"I don't know, Michael -- I've never had it tested for that," she replied.

"Please step aside, ma'am," a doctor stated. "Um, Pinkie Pie? Is -- is this the -- uhhh, person -- you were talking about?"

Milky Way trotted away from me, but remained fairly close so she could watch the doctor, who seemed to prod my right leg with his forehoof.

"Okay, sir --"

"Michael," I responded.

"Okay, Michael -- is it your right leg which was injured?"

"Yes, doctor -- but Rarity also kicked my left leg earlier," I replied.

"How badly does it hurt? On a scale of 1 to 4," he asked. He tapped my right leg on the bruise, then tapped it a little harder.

"Huh," I said. I moved my legs in a position to stand up, though I started by sitting up. The pain seemed to have gone away altogether as I crouched. This position should have placed an excruciating amount of pain on it, but I stood up and started walking around.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I shouted. "My leg was broken!"

"Seriously?" the doctor asked, a deadpan expression on his face.

"Rarity kicked it hard enough to break it," I replied.

"I'll make a note of that -- I suggest you come to the hospital to have x-rays to verify a clean heal," he stated flatly.

"Milky Way! Your milk must have magical qualities to it!" I exclaimed, beaming a big smile. "Mmmh, are you married?" I asked, smiling slyly at her.

"Um, Michael, didn't you say you already are married?" she asked.

"Yeah, but that's an Earth marriage -- I'm on Equestrian soil now, and my homeworld's laws don't apply here -- at least, I don't think they do," I offered. "If nothing else, perhaps I can stay with you in Trottingham, and we don't really have to get married..."

"Mmmh! Michael, that sounds like a wonderful idea!" she beamed.

"You don't have any objection to me in my present form, do you?"

"No, of course not! You're human, but that doesn't matter! I would be thrilled to have you stay with me!"

"Milky, I hope you make sure to visit me every month, regardless of taking him with you," Bon-Bon stated. "We're not finished with our visit, Michael -- can you give us some more time together before you go with her?"

"Sure, no problem -- take all the time you want," I replied warmly.

"I came as soon as I could, Michael," Twilight stated, gasping and huffing as she tried to catch her breath. She had galloped as quickly as she could from the library, though Lyra wasn't far behind. I shocked her by showing how quickly the injury had healed as I walked around a little.

"I thought Rarity had broken your leg! How did it heal so quickly?" the librarian asked in astonishment.

"Milky Way's milk has some amazing properties to it," I replied.

"Michael, please stop stalling and accompany me to the hospital," the doctor implored.

"Twilight, would you care to come with me?" I asked, giving her an almost expectant look.

"Um, Trixie and I were engaged in some, uhhh, studying -- since it appears you have healed, you don't need my help. I'm going back home," she stated, her annoyance quite evident.

"Very well then, doctor, I will accompany you to the hospital," I stated as the stallion began trotting towards the place. I was still shocked by how quickly my leg had healed, given the severity of the pain from earlier. Milky Way had gone back inside with Bon-Bon, but Lyra decided to accompany me as I walked a couple of paces behind the doctor. Pinkie decided to make an excursion of it as well, bouncing along cheerfully. Our brief journey led us directly past Carousel Boutique, causing me to stop at the front door.

"Michael, you can stop by the boutique after we check the x-rays," the doctor admonished.

"Yes, of course, doctor," I replied. The fashionista heard my voice from outside and popped her head out the second story window.

"Michael, darling, please forgive me!" she shouted at me. I turned around and glanced at her momentarily before turning away and following the doctor towards the hospital. Amazingly, the alabaster mare chose to follow me as well. "Darling, how did you recover so quickly?" she asked as she matched my pace, trotting by my side.

"Milky Way allowed me to drink her milk directly from the source," I replied flatly. "I was amazed that it had such an effect on me."

"Perhaps we can let bygones be bygones," she offered optimistically.

"What if Princess Celestia discovered you had kicked me hard enough to break my leg?" I asked, not bothering to look at the mare.

"I would simply explain to her the fact you insulted me to my face," she replied firmly.

"I did not tell Milky Way she was more beautiful than you, Miss Rarity -- I simply told her that I had no idea she was as beautiful as she was. You misinterpreted what I said to her, allowing your jealousy to give way to anger -- hence your hasty and irresponsible decision to lash out and injure me," I explained, exhaling sharply through my mouth.

"But -- but -- darling! What was I supposed to think? You complimented another mare on her beauty in front of me! You shouldn't have shown me so much disrespect!"

"Are we married?" I asked tersely, glaring directly at the mare.

"Um, no, darling, but -- maybe we can still do that!" she beamed.

"We're not even engaged," I nearly spat in contempt. "Heck, I haven't even been here for a single day, and yet you wanna marry me."

"Michael, darling, do you know how long --"

I knelt before her and placed my right thumb and first two fingers of my right hand squarely on her muzzle, clamping it shut, a look of disappointment on my face. "Miss Rarity, I suggest you take some time to reflect upon what you did to me earlier -- and given my present mood, asking a question I already know the answer to doesn't help. Now go home before I say something else I might regret later on -- please. I'm not ready to get married again -- I need some time to decompress after my 21 years with -- ugh -- Brenda." At this point, we had finally reached the emergency entrance to the hospital.

"But Michael, darling! Where will you be staying?" asked Rarity as she stood several paces away from me.

"Not with you," I replied flatly as I followed the doctor inside the hospital. I watched her face turn red with anger as she turned around and stormed off, most likely back to her house.

"You should be careful about making her angry, Michael," the doctor advised. "I've heard some stories about what happens to certain ponies who anger her."

I took a moment to reflect upon what had happened earlier when she tried to lead me into her basement. "Excuse me, doctor, I have a little damage control to perform. I shall return shortly."

Without bothering to wait for him to respond, I exited the hospital and began a slow jog after the fashionista -- her pace seemed to be rather swift, but I heard her crying and sobbing as she cantered double-quick, causing me to speed up my pace. My long legs allowed me to catch up to her, though the effort caused them to start aching again. She heard my huffing gasps as I tried to catch my breath.

"So, darling, you decided to come back to me?" she asked coldly. She seemed to stare right through me.

"I'm sorry, Miss Rarity -- I did not want to make you an enemy -- I must apologize for my, uhh, thoughtlessness," I offered sheepishly.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?" she asked, her voice not wavering.

"I'm afraid of waking up down in the basement, my body strapped to a table, and you wielding various knives of all sorts as you take out your anger on me by cutting me up and watching my blood drain out. I'm afraid to stay with you, Miss Rarity, if you must know the truth." I watched her already pale face blanch a few shades whiter, her eyes going wide in surprise.

"No -- no -- I -- I would -- NEVER -- do that to you, Michael, darling! What -- what makes you think I would do such a horrible thing?"

"The fact that you didn't want me to see what was in your basement tells me everything I need to know about that. I'm sorry, Miss Rarity, but I cannot trust you, no matter how effusively you try to persuade me otherwise," I replied matter-of-factly, though my expression of disappointment was obvious. "I don't want you to think I don't love you -- it's just that trust is more important when it comes to ensuring my personal safety. I hope you understand why it is I cannot stay with you."

"Please! Please, darling! I'll show you what's in my basement! Please, you simply <must> trust me!" she implored as her sadness threatened to return.

"I'll give you one more chance, Rarity -- but this is the last chance I'm giving you."

She beamed a big smile and glomped me again. "Yes! Please, darling, follow me!" she exclaimed jubilantly as she trotted prettily towards her home. I chuckled softly as I followed her, watching her hips sway as she pranced. I was somewhat amused by her behavior, though there was a part of me that was shouting at me to run away as fast as I could. I figured that since it was broad daylight that I would be okay as we reached her front door. She locked it behind me as I followed her inside.

"Miss Rarity, we'll have to make this quick -- I really need to get back to the hospital so they can run some x-rays on my leg to ensure it healed properly," I said, shooting the mare an uneasy look.

"Of course, darling, this will be very quick," she replied confidently, leading the way to the door to the basement, then trotting down the steps and turning on the light. A strange odor rankled my nose as I took each step down, a scent I was unfamiliar with. The light flickered a little, but stayed on as I reached the basement floor. The room was almost as large as the boutique's main room inside the entryway, the corners dark as there was only the one light to provide illumination. The center of the basement's seemingly only room was dominated by a fairly large table, which I approached.

"Why not lay down on the table, Michael?" she asked as she lit her horn, her pale blue aura nearly invisible in the low light. I noticed the table was quite low to the floor, only about at my knees. I also noted the table not quite large enough to hold me, but I chose not to lay on it. I glanced around the room, noting several pelts of various colors, a sight which made my stomach drop. Another pelt looked like it had feathers, which looked like it might have belonged to a griffon. Looking off to the left, I noticed something which looked like a poster, though what was scribbled on it was illegible. It looked something like written words, but the symbols were in a language I could not understand, though the dark red color looked ominous.

"You haven't shown me everything down here," I stated. I heard the door at the top of the stairs click shut, then another clicking noise as the lock was secured.

"You don't need to see everything down here, darling," she replied as I felt my body freeze up. She had hit me with a freeze spell, rendering me immobile. "I've never killed a human before -- this ought to be interesting," she mused. I struggled mightily against her magic, to no avail. I tried to cry out, but the freeze spell had affected my voice as well.

"You might as well give up trying to struggle, Michael -- you might have caught me off guard earlier when you touched my horn, but this time I was prepared." She levitated me, though I noticed her grimace as my weight took her by surprise. I nearly hit the floor as she placed me on the table, sweat dripping from her brow as she used quite a bit of her magic to move me. I felt her magic bonds on me weakening as her freeze spell wore off, which gave me the opportunity I needed to sit up and grab her horn in one swift move.

"LET GO OF MY HORN!!" she screeched, her magic flaring angrily around us. Grimacing in pain, I flicked my wrist sharply, snapping her horn off at the base. She screamed in pain as I took her horn, then she gave me a look of helplessness as she began sobbing uncontrollably. I trudged up the stairs and gave the door a firm kick with my right foot, causing me some more pain. I kicked it again, smashing it off its hinges as I entered the main room. I noticed her sister staring at me in shock as she saw the white horn in my right hand.

"What did you do to my sister?!" she shouted at me as she rushed up to meet me. The fashionista was now at the top of the stairs, her face contorted in rage.

"GIVE ME BACK MY HORN!!" she screeched as she galloped towards me. She turned her back to me in an attempt to kick me again, but this time I was ready for her. With my left hand, I grabbed her left hind leg and lifted her off the ground, shocking her once again with my strength.

"Put my sister down!" the filly shouted at me. I glowered at her.

"Your sister tried to kill me," I replied icily. "I need to take her to the police station."

"NO! NO! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO THAT!" the filly screamed as she tried to use her very weak magic against me. Still holding the fashionista by her left hind leg, I swung her around as I turned around in a very tight circle.

"AAAAAHHH! LET ME GO! AAAAAAHHH! PLEASE! LET ME DOWN!" Rarity screamed in terror. I was tempted to do just that and let her body fly off in a random direction, perhaps even impacting one of the walls. Instead, I slowed down to a stop and hefted her with both hands before gently setting her down, then placing her broken horn next to her.

"You're -- you're just going -- to let me go? You're not -- you're not going to the police station, are you?" she asked fearfully, her tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked down at the broken piece of her horn and started sobbing again. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! Please don't tell the police what happened!"

I sighed heavily in resignation and turned to leave without answering her pleas. The filly simply stood in stunned silence as she watched me leave, her sister sobbing inconsolably on the floor. I unlocked the door and opened it, the fresh air helping my mood a little.

"Good-bye, Miss Rarity," I stated sadly as I left, closing the front door behind me. I started walking back towards the hospital, but noticed a police pony nearby. I stopped for a moment to talk to him.

"Excuse me, officer," I stated loudly in an attempt to get his attention. Upon seeing me, he did a spit-take of his coffee and nearly choked on his doughnut. "Somepony tried to kill me a few minutes ago," I added. He coughed a few times to expel the food, then coughed a few more times to clear his throat.

"A-hem, what happened?" he asked, giving me a sidelong glance.

"At the boutique -- Rarity's basement -- a killing chamber," I replied. "She -- she used a freeze spell on me and tried to lay me out on a table in her basement -- I think I was not her first victim either."

"How did you escape?"

"She used too much magic trying to levitate me -- I'm kinda heavy, and the effort to lay me on the table used so much of her magic that her freeze spell wore off. I snapped her horn off to keep her from trying to use magic on me again," I explained.

"Taking a unicorn's horn is a very serious offense," he stated flatly. "I'm going to have to place you under arrest."

"Officer, Rarity tried to KILL ME!" I protested as I began walking towards the hospital. "I have to go to the hospital to have some x-rays run on my leg -- Rarity had kicked me in my right leg earlier, possibly breaking it."

"You seem to be doing okay now, whatever your name is."

"My name is Michael, Mister Officer," I offered almost pointedly. "Please, have a team of officers inspect Rarity's basement -- it smells of death down there."

"I hate to disappoint you, Michael, but Miss Rarity's a fine, upstanding mare in our town. We have no reason or probable cause to probe her basement just on the say-so of some random -- what are you, anyway? I've never seen anything like you."

"I'm a human, officer -- I came from a world of humans, though in a most unusual fashion," I responded.

"Regardless of that, we have certain procedures to follow before we can investigate any allegations of such a serious nature. You, on the other hoof -- well, I think you're pretty suspicious, and I have some questions I need you to answer -- back at the station, if you don't mind," he intoned firmly. I continued to walk towards the hospital, noticing I was fairly close to it. The police stallion trotted after me, readying his whistle.

"If you make me blow my whistle, I will have to arrest you for resisting and attempting to flee or evade -- you don't wanna make things any worse for you than they already are, Michael!"

"This is not fair -- I was trying to enlist your assistance in apprehending a possible serial murderer, and yet you want to arrest me for -- for what?" I asked in exasperation. The hospital was only 50 yards away at this point, but the stallion had his whistle to his lips.

"If you take one more step towards the hospital, I'm going to blow my whistle -- alerting every other officer nearby to assist me in apprehending you. Trust me, we will take you down by force if necessary -- which will most likely hurt you a bit more than you want it to. Now come along with me if you don't want any extra charges added."

A galloping noise was heard as the doctor charged up to us and came to a nearly breathless stop.

"Michael, I thought you told me you would be back shortly -- it's been more than half an hour! What happened?"

"Rarity invited me into her basement and tried to kill me," I replied flatly. "I saw pony pelts hanging on one of the walls down there."

"Why didn't you tell me that, Michael? That changes things a little," the officer observed.

"You were intent on arresting me on some bogus charge -- what, vagrancy? When I woke up this morning, I was laying in Rarity's bed, right next to her! I had no idea she would try to kill me on the very same day I showed up here -- I think she got jealous of my affection for Milky Way."

"Ahhh, Trottingham's finest mare, she is!" the officer chuckled. "You met her?" he asked, grinning slyly at me.

"She let me drink of her milk, which seemed to heal my broken leg," I replied.

"Ohhh, you lucky bastard!" the officer laughed. "You have no idea how hard it is to get her to let anypony drink from those beautiful teats of hers!"

"I guess it just depends on the situation, officer. She told me she's visiting her cousin Bon-Bon, but she also let me know I could stay in Trottingham with her, since I have nowhere to stay here in Ponyville," I declared somewhat sullenly. "I think Rarity got mad at me for complimenting the milkmare on her sheer beauty."

"I know Miss Rarity fairly well, Michael -- and you are correct, she has a jealous streak a mile wide. You're lucky to even be alive," the doctor offered.

"Doctor Stroke, you know for certain Miss Rarity has killed other ponies?" the officer asked.

"Not for certain, Officer Beatdown, but I have heard rumors about ponies going into her house and never coming back out..." he mused.

"Michael, since you told me you saw firsthoof what is down in her basement, I shall need for you to serve as a material witness. Can you do that for me? I know the temptation is strong to accompany Miss Milky Way back to Trottingham, but -- this is very important," the officer stated.

"I'll need to go to Bon-Bon's house and check with her cousin -- but yeah, I think I can stick around to be a witness for you," I replied. "By the way, I forget my way around here -- do you know where Bon-Bon's house is?"

"Sure, Michael. Make a left at the next block up, then go five blocks straight ahead, then make a right and head three more blocks ahead, then make a left. The road will curve to your left and you'll need to follow it for nearly half a mile before you make another right. Bon-Bon's house should be the fifth one on your left after you go three more blocks from that last right," the officer stated cheerfully.

"How far is it from the boutique?" I asked, annoyed at the detail he'd given me.

"From the boutique, you need to go half a mile north, then turn left, go five blocks ahead, then hang a right, go two blocks ahead, and Bon-Bon's house is the sixth one on your right," he replied.

"So it's three doors south of the Bakery?" I asked.

"Yep, that's right!" he chuckled.

"Thanks a bunch, officer," I said, exhaling a sigh of resignation. "It's going to take me half an hour just to make it there -- I hope Milky Way hasn't gone to the train station during that time. The route I'm going to take to get there doesn't even lead me past the train station."

"Well, maybe she'll wait for you to show up," the officer offered brightly.

A Night At Bon-Bon's

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 5

"Michael, what a pleasant surprise! I was wondering where you'd run off to," the milkmare mused as she trotted up to meet me. "Officer, is there something wrong?"

"No, ma'am, but Michael informed us that Miss Rarity tried to kill him," the officer stated, drawing a loud gasp from the mare.

"Oh, Michael! I am so sorry to hear that! Are you okay?" she asked, sidling against me to offer a small degree of comfort.

"I managed to get out of there by the skin of my teeth, Milky Way -- but the officer wants me to stay in Ponyville so I can act as a witness for the state," I replied glumly. "I have nowhere to stay here."

"Perhaps you can stay at Bon-Bon's with me! I would be thrilled to share a bed with you!" she chirped.

"Ohhh, you lucky dog!" the officer spat.

"Luck has nothing to do with it, Officer Beatdown," the mare replied. "All you stallions ever do is stare at my teats, as though I'm nothing more than what hangs from my underside. Michael is the first one to show me real appreciation for who I am as a mare."

"Oh. Michael, I'll send an officer by later on -- I have some reports to write. I've been looking forward to having something serious to do around here for quite awhile!" he grinned. "Oh, and let me know all the juicy details of your night with her!"

The mare growled at the stallion's callousness while I sighed in annoyance.

"Michael, were you headed to my cousin's house? I'm lucky I caught you!" the mare noted cheerfully. "I was hoping to get another opportunity to talk to you. By the way, how's your leg?"

"Practically good as new, Milky Way -- but I'm a little more shaken up over having to escape Rarity's basement -- ugh!" I replied, shivering at the memory of what I'd seen down there.

"How bad is it?"

"Um, I don't think you wanna know -- pony pelts hanging on one wall, a poster with words scrawled out in dried blood on the other -- and who knows what else, since the lighting is so dim."

"I had no idea she was such a monster!" the mare exclaimed, a gasp leaving her lips upon hearing the details. She sidled up to me and beamed a smile at me. "I'm so happy you're here!"

I returned her smile with one of my own. "Miss Milky Way, being close to you makes me feel very happy -- there's a part of me that wants to sing to you, though I don't know which song."

"Why not sing how you feel?" she asked, her smile widening further. I was mesmerized by her eyes as I gazed deeply into them.

I tried singing the chorus to an older song from my memory, though my voice cracked on some of the high notes. The milkmare seemed to be somewhat impressed by my talent, such as it was.

"Oh, Michael! I had no idea you could sing so well! Such a beautiful song!" she chirped.

"A song whose beauty is only exceeded by yours, Miss Milky Way," I offered softly. The mare blushed deeply and giggled nervously.

"You -- you should be careful -- when you flatter me like that!" she opined, her giggles interrupting the flow of her words. "If you want to make me very happy, I would love to hear you sing more songs like that for me!"

"Perhaps later, Milky Way -- it looks like it's starting to get late out here, and if Bon-Bon's house is as far away as the officer told me, it will probably be dark before we get there. Mmmh, I hope she doesn't turn me away. You're her cousin, so I know she'll let you stay with her, but me -- I dunno."

"Tell you what -- you get on my back and I'll gallop all the way there!" she chortled. "It would be an honor for me to carry you!"

"You are too good for me, Miss Milky Way," I opined as I straddled her back with my legs and gently sat down on her back. She grunted upon hefting my weight.

"Mmph! You're very heavy! How much do you weigh?"

"About 240, I think," I replied. "I appreciate your offer, but I think I can manage the walk."

We began our way towards Bon-Bon's house at this point as the sun made its way toward the horizon. I knew we weren't going to make it there before dark.

"You don't look that heavy -- are you sure about that?"

"If you use metric measurements, my weight is about 110 kilos."

The mare let out a low whistle. "You're not kidding! I had no idea you were that heavy!"

"I know -- it's because I never took care of myself and ate my favorite foods to excess. Truthfully, I haven't even eaten today, other than drinking your milk."

"Did my milk satisfy your hunger?" she grinned.

"Miss Milky Way, it seemed to do everything I wanted it to, short of making me grow taller and skinner and making me about 30 years younger," I chuckled. "Your milk is very tasty."

"Thank you for the compliment, Michael! Perhaps if you drink more of my milk it might do that for you!" she giggled.

"You'd make me a very happy man if it has those qualities to it," I averred.

"I'd be curious to see what you'd look like if you were 30 years younger -- you don't look too much older than that!"

"Flattery will get you more than you can handle, Miss Milky Way! I think I might already have told you I am 50 years old, so it pleases me when you tell me such things."

We passed Carousel Boutique at this point, noticing yellow tape across the front door.

"The police work fast around here," I observed. Sweetie Belle was standing outside the front door, tears streaming down her cheeks. Twilight and Trixie stood by and watched silently as Rarity was led away in hoof-cuffs, connected with chains between her fore and hind legs. She caught sight of me and screamed in rage. I took note of her broken horn as a stream of vulgarities strong enough to make a sailor blush emanated from her mouth, whereupon she was forcibly shoved into the back of a paddy wagon. Twilight had placed her forehooves over the filly's ears to try to protect her from her sister's curses.

"That's because Ponyville is normally very quiet -- and the police generally have nothing to do, except for harassing the local ponies when they get too bored," the mare responded flatly. Twilight trotted up to me.

"Michael, I had no idea! What happened?"

"Sparkle, Trixie requests we return to your home -- Trixie is tired and wants to rest, and this matter does not pertain to her," the show-mare pouted.

"Twilight, we're on our way to Bon-Bon's house -- hopefully she'll let me stay overnight -- but as for Rarity, well -- she tried to kill me, and I'll leave it at that. I'll tell you more later, but the cops want me to stay in town as a witness." I watched the librarian's mouth open and close like a fish for a good two minutes before she finally regained her composure.

"What? How did she do that?"

"Ma'am, the human is a material witness to this matter. We request you ask no further questions of him until the case is closed," an officer stated as he interrupted Twilight's inquiry.

"Let's go home, Sparkle," Trixie stated in a dull monotone. "Michael can answer your questions some other time."

"But -- but -- where am I supposed to stay?" the filly wailed.

"Where are your parents?" I asked her.

"They're in Canterlot! I don't have a way to tell them what happened! And they're too far away for me to go there by myself!"

"How about Apple Bloom? Can you stay at the farm with your friend?" I asked. The filly sniffled.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess she'll let me in -- but -- Rarity! Why?!" she wailed as the paddy wagon was pulled away by another police stallion. I watched the wagon pull away, the fashionista's face pressed against one of the back windows before disappearing. Her face showed a mix of anger and sadness.

"Michael, Miss Milky Way, Miss Sweetie Belle -- we need to secure the boutique now, as it's become a crime scene. We will need you to leave the premises," Officer Beatdown stated firmly.

"Sweetie Belle, do you need us to walk you to the farm?" I asked. The milkmare glanced at me nervously.

"Michael, my cousin's house is the other way from the farm -- it's already starting to get dark," she observed.

"I know the way, Michael," she growled, glaring at me angrily. "I wish I'd never seen you at all!" she wailed before turning tail and galloping as fast as her little legs would carry her towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"I'm sorry!" I called out after her. I turned to the mare beside me and addressed her softly. "Milky Way, in a way I feel somewhat responsible for all this --"

"You did the right thing, Michael -- if you hadn't reported her to the police, who knows how many more ponies she would have killed? Don't blame yourself! Come on, let's get going!" she implored as she led the way to her cousin's house. "By the way, how did you meet her?"

As we traveled through the town, I explained to the milkmare the events from earlier in the day. She expressed a degree of anger over the fact that I had told the fashionista I was willing to marry her, despite my marriage on my homeworld. Her attitude toward me softened when I explained to her just how bad a person my wife was and the other circumstances which led me to wish myself away from my old life. The streetlamps seemed to light up as if by magic and I commented on how the soft glow accentuated her beauty, causing her to blush again. Presently, we reached our destination as Milky Way knocked on the front door three times.

"Hey, Milky -- I see you brought that human here with you," Lyra observed upon opening the door for us. She gave me a sly smile. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to see you again."

"Hey, Lyra -- the police need me as a witness, so I need a place to stay. Is Bon-Bon here?" I asked.

"A witness for what?" asked the cream-colored mare as she pushed her room-mate aside. Her face was an indecipherable mask.

"Miss Rarity turned out to be a murderer -- using her basement as a killing chamber," I replied matter-of-factly. Her expression changed to one of shock. "Miss Bon-Bon, I need a place to stay if that's okay with you," I added, bowing slightly to her.

"Cousin, if I may have him sleep with me?" the milkmare half-asked, half-said, giving her cousin a sly wink.

"We're running low on food, but you're welcome to crash here for awhile -- I hope they pay you well for your testimony," Bon-Bon mused.

"I've heard the tabloids will pay quite well for such a story -- but it'll have to wait until the trial's over. I can't allow the jury to be tainted by wall-to-wall news coverage," I opined.

"Please think of us when you receive that money, Michael," Lyra nearly pleaded. "It's hard enough for us to make the rent as it is."

"Of course I'll repay your kindness, Miss Lyra -- thank you for your hospitality." I gave the musician and her housemate a warm smile.

"Come with me, Michael, I'll show you to our room," Milky Way offered in an almost sultry tone of voice. I grinned sheepishly at her statement, though Lyra and Bon-Bon grinned at me.

"Have a good night, you two -- try not to make too much noise, okay?" Bon-Bon giggled.

"Hey, Michael, how about you sleep with me tomorrow night?" asked a leering Lyra.

"I'll think about it -- but I was hoping to give Miss Milky Way all of my affection," I replied softly, noting a crestfallen look on the mint-green mare's face. "I'm sorry, Miss Lyra."

"Lyra, you have me to be with you, remember?" Bon-Bon asked in her very best sultry tone, flashing the musician her very best bedroom eyes look. She blushed very deeply and grinned.

"Um, Michael, we need to get some sleep," the milkmare noted as she nudged me gently with her right fore-hoof and began trotting slowly to the room we were to share. I followed a few steps behind her, but noticed her swaying her hips a little more than usual. She glanced over her right shoulder and caught me staring at her, but instead of being angry with me, she giggled and smiled.

"I think I know what's on your mind tonight, Michael," she chuckled. "Don't worry -- I'm in the mood for it myself."

"My apologies for staring at your marehood, Miss Milky Way," I offered almost dumbly, but my statement elicited a few more giggles from her.

"No need to apologize, Michael -- I was hoping you'd stare at it -- I was deliberately showing it off to you! Mmmmh, I remember the way you treated me earlier -- I want you to do that again! I want even more than that!" she cooed as we entered the room. I glanced over my left shoulder to see the other two mares grinning broadly, their cheeks a bright rouge.

"They're gonna listen to us tonight, Miss Milky Way," I said just above a whisper to her.

"Mmm, let them," she replied breathily as she closed the door behind me, giving me her sultriest look. Those emerald eyes of hers drew me in instantly as I closed the distance between us, kneeling before the milkmare.

"Milky Way, your eyes are so beautiful," I whispered lightly, blowing softly into her left ear. Her body shuddered ever so slightly in response to this, a soft moan coming from her mouth.

"Ooh, Michael -- you know what to do," she cooed softly, a very sultry smile on her face.

"Time to milk you again, eh?" I chuckled. Her smile turned into a big grin as she nodded her head. I gave her a quick kiss on the lips before laying down flat on the floor. My kiss took her by surprise, but she regained her composure swiftly, smiling as she trotted slowly to me. Before turning around and straddling my head with her hind legs, she stole a quick kiss from me on my lips. Not to be outdone, I reached up with my arms and pulled her to me, caressing her mane with my right hand as I opened my mouth to slide my tongue into hers.

"MMMPH!" she protested. I released my hold on her so she could catch her breath. "Michael, please warn me in advance if you're going to do that! I like the way that feels, but -- I need you to milk me now! I'm so full, I'm about to burst!"

"Sorry about that, Milky Way," I replied as I lay back down on the floor. She stood over me once again, this time her teats rested on my face as they were quite full. "I don't know if I'll be able to drink all your milk, but I'll do the best I can," I offered, eliciting some giggles from the mare. I was surprised to see a little milk leak from her nipples when she giggled. "You're not kidding about being full to bursting! I'll get right on this!" I chuckled as I took the teat to my right and began suckling on it, squeezing it lightly with my right hand. Her milk was every bit as sweet, rich, and thick as before -- I was reminded of drinking a milkshake, but the flavor was a mix of vanilla, coconut, and banana. I slurped heavily, the sound and sensation causing her to moan and gasp in pleasure.

"Mmmh, that, hanh, feels so nice, hanh, hanh, Michael! Oooh, looks like you like it too!" she giggled as she noticed my manhood tenting my briefs. She pulled my rock-hard member out of my briefs and wrapped her mouth around it, lightly bobbing her head up and down and applying a fair amount of suction to it as well as curling her tongue around it. I stopped suckling her teat for a moment.

"Unnnh, you -- you should -- unnnh -- be careful -- unnnh -- when you -- unnh -- do that," I gasped as the sensation caused my body to stiffen. She seemed to have quite a bit of experience at doing that, though she giggled again at my feeble advisory.

"Looks like I know how to make you happy, don't I?" she cooed. "Please, do my other teat, Michael! I hope you're not too full," she mused.

I moved her left teat to my mouth and began suckling at it, squeezing it the same way as before. To be truthful, I had to be careful about drinking so heavily of her milk -- the sugar level seemed to be very high, as though it were melted ice cream, but very warm ice cream. The mix of flavors was a very pleasant one, but I could already feel my stomach telling me I couldn't drink any more.

"Miss Milky Way, I can't drink any more of your milk right now -- I think I've had my fill for right now. Is there another receptacle for it?"

"Don't worry about that, Michael," she stated as she took a moment to catch her breath. "I won't need to be milked for awhile yet, but -- could you, umm, lick my pussy? I mean, I've already sucked your dick twice, and you have yet to reciprocate my kindness."

"Mmmh, I thought you'd never ask," I chuckled as I sat up and pried her flanks apart with my thumbs. Her marehood was a deep golden brown, a very lovely sight indeed. "You have a very pretty pussy, Miss Milky Way," I noted cheerfully, causing her to giggle louder. "I would be honored to return your favor." I pushed my face between her haunches and put my lips to her outer labia. Her pussy lips were wet with her love juice, which tasted nearly as sweet as her milk as I began sliding my tongue up and down them, lightly flicking the tip of my tongue over her clit.

"Aaaaah! Yesss!" she cooed as I licked and sucked on her pussy, lightly probing it with the tip of my tongue. Her body tensed up quickly which surprised me, but I continued my ministrations to her sex. "Mmmmh! Ooooooh! Yessssss! AAAAH!" she moaned as her pleasure threatened to overwhelm her once again. "Mmmmmh! Keep going, Michael! MMMH! UNNH! OOOOH!"

Her love juices flowed heavily, getting smeared on my face and her haunches as she succumbed to her pleasure, her body shuddering and shaking gently as the orgasm took her. I did my best to lap up as much of her cum as I could, but quite a bit ran down her hind legs.

"Mmmmh, that was gooood," she cooed as she relaxed. My member was rock-hard again and ready for a release. I decided now would be a good time to ask her if she was ready to take this to the next level.

"Milky Way? I'd kinda like to have sex with you," I opined almost sheepishly. She giggled.

"Oh, Michael! Of course you can! We have all night -- I'll let you do anything you want with me! Oh, and I'll let you know when I need to be milked again," she declared softly, smiling warmly at me. Her smile seemed to melt my heart, eliciting a smile of my own in return. It appeared that we seemed to make each other very happy, even just being close to each other.

"Ooh, Milky Way, I love you," I cooed softly to her as I kneeled behind her and gently placed my hands on her hips, easing my glans to her hocks, sliding it up and down the cleave of her haunches.

"Unh, stop teasing me and give it to me already!" she giggled. "Mmmmh, I love you too, Michael!"

She moaned breathily as I succeeded in sliding my shaft into her tunnel, though there was some resistance along the way. Her pussy was fairly tight as I gently and slowly thrust back and forth, rocking against her hips, my hands clamped on her flanks. I grunted softly with my exertions, slowly increasing the speed and force as my pleasure began to build again.

"Mmmh! Unnnh! Ooooh! Aaaah! Yesss!" she cooed as I sped up my motion, gasping for breath as I sensed her pussy muscles squeezing my member. It felt like her muscles were sending rippling waves of pleasure along the length of my penis, intensifying the stimulation for me and causing my body to tense and stiffen up again.

"Mmmh, Milky Way! I just hope you don't get pregnant from my seed," I opined, still thrusting hard and fast into her.

"Aaah! Dont, hanh, be, hanh, silly! Hanh, hanh, I'm a, hanh, pony! Hanh, hanh, you're a, hanh, human! Hanh, hanh, hanh! It, hanh, doesn't, hanh, work! Hanh, hanh, like, hanh, that!" she gasped. "But, hanh, if you do, hanh, hanh, it'll make me happy!"

"Mmmh, unnh! Getting close!" I grunted. I pushed deeper and harder as best I could, my body tensing up as I neared my climax. She cooed and moaned in pleasure, bucking her hips against my lower abdomen in an attempt to increase her stimulation. I was going as fast as I dared, but she urged me to go even faster and harder. The room had gotten quite warm and I was sweating heavily as I sped up my motions, slamming my member into her pussy, the squooshing sound enhancing my mood as I stiffened up. I felt her body tense up in anticipation of her climax, then shake and shudder as her orgasm took her like a tsunami.

"OOOOH! YESSS! AAAAAH!" she moaned, gasping for breath as she rode out her climax, her body shaking again as a second orgasm struck shortly after the first as I continued to thrust into her, though not with as much swiftness or strength as earlier.

"UNNNNH! CUMMING!" I gasped as my body jerked and shook with the intensity of my climax. The sensation of her body shuddering under me as I lay on top of her back helped me along, though grasping her teats simultaneously didn't hurt, either.

"Mmmmh, Michael, you're heavy -- could you ease up on me a little?" she asked, still gasping for breath.

"Sorry about that, Milky Way," I offered as I kneeled upright again, removing my weight from her back. I lightly caressed her sides with my hands, then ran my right hand over her back from her mane to her tail. I caressed her teats with my left hand, feeling the softness and sponginess of them and lightly tweaking each nipple.

"Mmmh, Michael, that feels so nice -- but -- please be careful with my teats," she noted softly. "I don't want to leak milk all over the floor!"

"Understood, Milky -- hey, you haven't done boku-maru with me yet -- you wanna give that a try?" I asked, grinning broadly at her.

"What is that? I've never heard of such a thing," she mused. "How does it work?"

"Mmmh, lay on the bed on your back and let your hind legs drape over the end of it," I implored gently. She complied with my request, but gave me a quizzical look. I laid on my back on the floor and gently placed the soles of my feet against the frogs of her hind hooves.

"Ooooh, Michael! This -- I've never felt anything like this before!" she cooed.

"Mmmh, you're the best at this yet," I noted softly, allowing the energy flowing between us to intensify. Amazingly, she did not try to force the energy as it continued to build, the sensation of intense pleasure pushing us close to another climax. My body stiffened as I approached the edge of resistance -- I had to focus on maintaining contact with the mare, though her deep breathy moans of pleasure made it very difficult to do so.

"AAAAAH! OOOHHH! YESSSSSS!" she hissed as she relented to the pressure which had built inside her. She broke contact with me and the sensation disappeared immediately. "Awww, why did that happen? It felt so gooood!"

"Unnnh, it -- boku-maru can't be forced, but -- that was the longest I have experienced. I think you and I were meant to be together, Milky Way," I cooed softly to her as I laid on the bed next to her. I gently ran the fingers of my right hand through her deep blue mane and smiled at her.

"Ooooh, so that's what boku-maru is! I want to do that again!" she chirped. "Mmmmh, Michael! You spoil me like this! Please, please never leave me!"

I cradled her against my body with my arms, pushing her muzzle towards my lips, but stopped just short of kissing her. I gazed deeply into her emerald green eyes. "Miss Milky Way, I don't think you'll ever have to worry about me leaving you -- I don't think I've ever felt happier in my entire life, just holding you close to me like this. You are so amazingly beautiful, my love," I whispered in her left ear. She shuddered again upon hearing this and mashed her muzzle hard against my face and kissed me with an intense passion borne of deep love.

"Ohhhh, Michael! I have been waiting so long to hear somepony say something like that to me! You -- you have made me so very happy! I -- I want to spend the rest of my life with you!" she cooed.

"As do I, my love," I replied breathily, planting a soft kiss on her lips. "Mmmh, let's get some sleep, baby girl," I chuckled as I tried to make myself comfortable on the too-small bed. I pulled the milkmare close to me, cradling her in my arms as I laid on my right side, nuzzling her mane with my nose. "Mmmh, you smell nice, too," I observed, saying the words as breathily as before.

A high-pitched squee escaped her mouth as she snuggled against me, grasping my right hand with her right forehoof, gently running her hoof along the length of my arm. "Mmmmmmh," she sighed contentedly as I ran my right hand slowly up and down her barrel, avoiding touching her teats. The softness of her body against me lulled me to sleep as I drifted into my slumber quickly.

The Interrogation Goes Awry

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 6

A loud knocking at the front door woke us from our sleep. I found the milkmare having entangled me in her embrace, making it difficult for me to get up. It was still dark out, which made me wonder who would be knocking at the front door this time of night. I tried to remove her left foreleg from around me, but found it difficult to do so. The moon's light shining through the window illustrated a big smile on her face and I couldn't bring myself to disturb her slumber, so I continued to lay with her, though I was deeply annoyed at having my sleep interrupted.

Whomever it was knocking at the front door grew impatient and repeated their knocking, the sound loud enough to wake my lover.

"Who is it?" she asked, glancing at me.

"I don't know, Milky," I replied. "I suppose Lyra or Bon-Bon might answer it," I mused.

The rapping at the front door became even more insistent before somepony shouted out, "Open up! This is the police!"

"Ugh, I guess I've gotta get up and find out what they want," I grumbled as I disentangled myself from her embrace.

"Make it quick, Michael! I want to sleep next to you some more!" she cooed as I rose to my feet. I grinned at her before ducking under the doorframe and trudging to the front door. Lyra and Bon-Bon had been awoken, both of them rubbing sleep from their eyes.

"Ugh, Michael, find out what they want," Bon-Bon groaned, her mane quite disheveled as she tried to rub sleep from her eyes. I opened the front door to reveal a burly police stallion.

"May I help you, Mister Officer?" I asked.

"We need to ask you some questions -- down at the station. Come with us," he stated gruffly. I ducked under the front door and closed it behind me as I followed the stallion to the wagon, which was hitched to a couple of other ponies. "Inside, Michael," he instructed as he opened the door. I climbed in, but it was a tight fit for me and I was forced to bend over in a very uncomfortable position.

"I hope this doesn't take long," I said, a little trepidation coloring my words.

"Just routine," he replied tersely.

"So why drag me out of bed at 4 in the morning?" I asked. I got no response to my question as the officer sat across from me, seemingly stone-faced, or perhaps just as tired as I was. My back was beginning to cramp from being confined in the wagon and I tried to stretch out.

"Don't try to escape," he growled, glaring at me.

"My back is starting to ache and I need to stretch out," I responded flatly.

"You can do that when we get to the station."

The ride lasted another fifteen minutes before we finally came to a stop and a police pony opened the door for me. "Get out," the burly stallion nearly barked at me. I didn't have to be told twice, so I pushed myself out the back door and stood up, stretching my back out, causing it to pop loudly.

"Uhh, did that hurt?" he asked, astonished by my size.

"It hurt me more being cramped in that little wagon," I replied. "Let's get this over with, please -- I'm still quite tired and I'd like to get some more sleep."

"Yeah, yeah, come on, let's go," he stated, trotting ahead of me to show me which way to go. We entered the station and I followed him into a non-descript room. Another officer was already waiting for me, a stack of parchment on the table.

"I'm Officer Friendly, and I'll be asking you a few questions about Miss Rarity," he offered cheerfully.

"What's your name?" I asked the burly stallion.

"I'm Officer Brutality," he replied curtly, glaring at me again. In the light, I noticed the burly stallion was a deep brown earth pony, his mane a mix of grey and black, his eyes a steely grey. The officer pony seated at the table was a pale yellow unicorn stallion, his mane and tail a mix of orange and red. He smiled warmly at me.

"State your name for the record, please," he began. He readied an ink quill, his aura a pale yellow.

"My name is Michael Walker," I replied matter-of-factly.

"Where did you come from?"

"Planet Earth, United States of America, Chicago, Illinois." He tilted his head at me, giving me a very puzzled look.

"Where exactly is that? I've never heard of it."

"It's my homeworld, not Equis, or Equestria -- I woke up laying next to Rarity yesterday morning."

"Okay, I'll put down Ponyville, Carousel Boutique. So, how did you -- wait, you said -- you woke up laying next to her? How did you get in her bed? Did you break into her home?"

"I made a wish the night before last -- I mention my homeworld, because that's where I last laid down to sleep before finding myself magically transported to Rarity's bed -- Discord mentioned something about bringing me here." The officer's eyes went wide with fear.

"Discord? You -- you mean -- the real Discord?" he asked fearfully.

"Yeah, he showed up yesterday some time and admitted to bringing me over here -- said he wanted to have a little fun, but -- I'm not sure what he's up to," I replied.

"I thought he had been reformed!"

"Well, yeah, he says he was, but he still wants to have some fun."

A weird zipping noise was heard as the draconequus made his presence known. "Ah, Michael! You work fast!" he chuckled.

"What do you know about working fast?" I asked the chaos entity, glaring at him with my best annoyed look.

"Discord? What are you doing here?" asked the officer, aghast at the sudden arrival of said draconequus.

"You have Miss Rarity in your custody?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes at me before turning his attention to the stallion.

"She's under arrest for serial murder," the officer replied, though beads of sweat started to trickle down the sides of his head.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a nice mare, too! And yet she had to go and kill other ponies. I need to see her for a moment," Discord mused as he disappeared again. I was about to say something as I opened my mouth, but the draconequus returned with the fashionista in his arms before I could begin speaking. I was astonished by his swiftness. "What was that you were saying about me working fast earlier?" he grinned before noticing her missing horn. "You broke her horn off? For shame," he opined dismissively.

"She tried to kill me, Discord -- I had no choice," I stated, my words tinged with resentment. Without further ado, he waved his lion's paw over her head, restoring her horn.

"Oooh, I can feel it!" she cooed. Her gaze met mine for a moment and she growled at me. "Michael, you are sooooo dead when I get out of here! Who did you sleep with last night?"

"I don't have to answer that, Miss Rarity," I growled at her. "How many ponies have you killed? How many griffons?"

"I don't have to answer that, Michael, daaaaar-ling," she grinned at me.

"Actually, Rarity, you do," the officer stated. "We have proof you killed at least ten ponies and one griffon." The fashionista's eyes went wide with fear.

"Discord, darling, please help me," she whimpered.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho! This is rich! The bearer of the Element of Generosity asking ME for help! And after what you and your friends did to me! I might just as well tell you to go straight to Tartarus!"

"Please! I don't want to die!" she wailed, eliciting boisterous laughter from the chaos entity.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to start killing ponies!" he chuckled. "I should very well take you to meet Celestia herself -- I'm sure she'd have some choice words for you, 'Lady of Generosity,'" he added, still chuckling loudly. "But I can't do that -- justice must be served, after all."

"Then -- why did you give me back my horn?"

"I guess that must have been an oversight on my part. I'll be taking it back now," he replied, waving his lion's paw at her again, causing her horn to disappear. "Please see to it that she is given the maximum penalty for her crimes," he said as he addressed the yellow stallion.

"NOOOOOO!!" she wailed before Discord teleported the fashionista and himself away.

"Does that answer any of your questions? Can I go back to sleep now?" I asked grumpily.

"Sorry to have troubled you, Michael. Officer Brutality, please escort Michael back to Bon-Bon's residence. Michael, if we have any further questions, we'll be sure to treat you a little more respectfully."

"This way, please," the burly brown stallion instructed. I was led back to the wagon and taken back to Bon-Bon's house. Again I was forced to stretch out but my joints did not pop or crack. I trudged back to the front door and turned the handle, noting that the door was locked. I knocked on the door three times in the fashion Milky Way had yesterday.

"Oh, hey, Michael. Back already? Did they hurt you?" asked Lyra.

"Naah, but they annoyed me. I need some more sleep," I yawned as I made my way to the room I shared with the milkmare. Upon opening the door, I saw her sprawled out on the bed, snoring loudly, her teats and marehood fully exposed, her mane and tail disheveled. I crawled into the bed with her and turned her over, snuggling her body against mine and cooing softly in her ear. She smiled and turned over to face me and wrapped her legs around my mid-section. I hugged her close to me as I drifted off to sleep again, but not before fitting the palm of my right hand over the curve of her hindquarters. She cooed softly and nuzzled my chest, a big smile on her face.

-----------------------------------

We slept for another few hours before the milkmare nudged me gently. "Mmmh, Michael -- I need you to milk me again," she said softly.

"Mmmh, just five more minutes," I mumbled as I turned over. She nudged me a little more forcefully and reiterated her earlier request, then turned me over to face her. A look of near desperation was one her face.

"Michael, please! I'm about to burst here!" she pleaded. I rousted myself to look at her teats, which hung heavily on her lower belly. Her milk was beginning to seep from the nipples at this point.

"Mmmh, sorry about that, Milky Way -- I'll get right on it!" I chuckled as I kneeled on the floor and took her right teat in my hands and began suckling on it.

"Ummm, Michael, ummm -- could you, uhh, do it like we did it yesterday?" she asked, a soft smile on her face, though a light blush colored her cheeks.

"Mmmh, you like it that way, huh? Okay, I'll do it like that for you," I answered, a soft chuckle finishing my statement as I laid on the floor on my back. She squeed very softly and trotted over to me, straddling my head with her hind legs, her teats dangling beside my head. I took the one to my right and resumed milking her, the taste of her milk seeming even sweeter than yesterday. She cooed and moaned as I milked her -- I could not help but be aroused by the erotic sounds coming out of her mouth and the sensation of the softness of her teats as I gently caressed them to coax the milk out.

"Ooooh, Michael, nopony knows how to do it like you!" she giggled before moaning in pleasure again. "When will we get to boku-maru again? I really liked that!"

"I think we should wait until tonight to do that -- I felt very relaxed after we did that last night," I replied between slurps of her milk. I alternated between her teats and drank my fill, but noticed Lyra peeking from behind the door. Bon-Bon opened the door to watch us.

"Um, cousin, I thought you didn't want anypony sampling directly from you," she mused.

"Oh, Bon-Bon, he -- he's the first to treat me right! I -- I want to -- I love him!" she exclaimed joyfully, a big smile on her face. "Mmmmh, Michael! Are you finished?"

I slid out from under her and put my glans back in my briefs. Apparently, my lover had taken to sucking on it the same way I suckled her teats, and seemed to enjoy doing that. I grinned sheepishly at our hostess. "Yeah, Milky, I guess I am," I replied as I wiped my lips with the back of my hand.

"I wonder what that feels like," Bon-Bon mused as she blushed upon seeing my manhood.

"Well, I'd be tempted to let him do that for you, cousin -- but -- I want him all to myself!" the milkmare giggled.

"What's this I hear about boku-maru?" asked Lyra.

"Perhaps experiencing it can tell you more about it than mere words," I stated. "Bon-Bon, lay on the floor on your back, please. You too, Lyra. Both of you should put your hind hooves together."

The two mares followed my directions, though they expressed a curiosity about their initial placement. As they touched their hind hooves together, both of them smiled broadly as the chi began to flow between them. As the sensation intensified, they began moaning and clenched their eyes shut. Amazingly, neither one tried to force the flow of energy as they began panting and gasping for breath. It wasn't until their bodies shook and shuddered that they lost physical contact and the flow of energy stopped. Both of them grinned at each other.

"Mmmmh, Lyra, that was good!" Bon-Bon noted happily.

"Bon-Bon! I've never felt anything like that! Let's do it again!"

The two of them repeated the process, but this time the energy didn't seem to flow for them. Bon-Bon looked up at me quizzically.

"Michael? Why isn't it working this time?" she asked.

"I probably should have warned you about that -- boku-maru is supposed to be done sparingly, like, perhaps, once per day. Any more than that and the feeling is weakened, perhaps because the two of you wanted to feel the intensity of the flow of energy. You cannot force the flow, it has to happen by itself. Anticipating it weakens it, so you have to begin in a relaxed state."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for showing us how to do that!" Lyra giggled. "I wonder what it would feel like if I did that with a human," she mused.

"Um, Lyra, he's my human -- you have my cousin, remember? Michael, what are we doing today?"

"I was going to suggest we wait to see if the police needed me for anything else -- other than that, I was going to suggest we head over to the library to see if Twilight has contacted Princess Celestia yet -- Rarity was one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and without her, they're missing an element bearer. I'm curious to see how Celestia deals with the fact that one of her element bearers is a serial murderer," I mused. I was shaken out of my reverie by another knocking at the front door.

"I'll get it," Bon-Bon said as she trotted to open it. Standing at the front door was the Solar Princess herself.

"I was told Michael Walker was here," she stated. I heard her voice from the other room, so I got up and walked to the main entry. Bon-Bon had let the alicorn in, who seemed to glower at me when she saw me. "You are Michael Walker, I presume?"

I bowed before her. "Yes, your Majesty, I am. How may I help you?"

"I discovered earlier this morning that Rarity had tried to kill you. I need for you to answer some questions for me -- normally, under such circumstances I would perform a mind delve, but the resulting trauma of performing it on a human might cause too much damage to your mind. I will need you to answer my questions with complete honesty."

"Yes, your Majesty -- I apologize for causing such a disturbance," I stated as I bowed again.

"There is no need for you to apologize, Michael -- in truth, you have done the right thing. Had you not informed the police when you did, there is uncertainty with regard to how many more ponies might have fallen to her blades. How did you discover this fact?"

"I am not sure if you have already talked to Miss Rarity or Miss Twilight yet, but what I can say is this -- Miss Rarity tried to lead me into her basement, for reasons unknown -- but what I saw down there curled my stomach."

"I have seen this with my own eyes, Michael -- the grisly remains of more than ten ponies attest to her butchery -- I am sorry you were forced to endure such a nightmare. But I must know something else -- how did you get here?"

"Perhaps Miss Rarity or Miss Twilight might have told you I made a wish to wake up laying next to Twilight, but ended up in Rarity's bed instead. I am in need of clothing, and Miss Rarity had attempted to craft some for me, but certain events took place which interrupted her work. I still only have my skivvies to walk around in," I stated, pulling the waistband out and letting it snap against my lower abdomen to illustrate my point. The alicorn gazed at me, her eyes half-lidded as she ogled my midsection. "Your Majesty, my eyes are up here -- I don't think Mister Happy is willing to talk just yet," I chuckled. She blushed as she returned her gaze to meet mine, a wry smile playing on her lips.

"I took the liberty of examining the contents of Rarity's boutique -- I found some oddly-shaped clothing and confiscated it," she stated, producing the items for me. I grimaced upon seeing them.

"I would suggest she was trying to embarrass or humiliate me with those colors -- I told her that black, purple, red, and blue are colors I favor, as well as silver and gold. I also stated I desired pants crafted of a synthetic fiber called polyester."

"I have never heard of such a thing -- perhaps a mind delve is needed to determine everything I need to know about you," she mused.

"Is that strictly necessary, your Majesty?" I asked fearfully, contemplating the possibility of losing all cognitive function.

"It's the only way to be sure, Michael," she replied softly. She trotted slowly over to me and wrapped a wing around my shoulders. "I'll be gentle with you and try my best not to hurt you."

"Miss Milky Way, may I have a hug from you before she does this to me?" I asked the milkmare. "Your Majesty, I have heard stories about the possible effects of a mind delve."

The yellow mare trotted over to me, a look of concern on her face. I kneeled in front of her and placed her forelegs on my shoulders, then wrapped my arms around her back, holding her close to me. She clamped her forelegs around my back and squeezed me as tightly as she could. I gave her a short kiss on her lips and whispered, "I love you," to her before releasing her. A single tear trickled down her right cheek as she returned my statement just as softly as I had said it to her.

"You have found your true love already? I am quite impressed, Michael," the alicorn smiled. Milky Way and I both blushed, though I bowed to her.

"Thank you, your Majesty," I offered reverently.

"Michael, I shall try to make this as painless as possible -- you might feel a little pressure, though," she stated softly. "Milky Way, I shall need you to clear some space -- he might lose control of his body when I do this."

"Yes, your Highness," she said as she climbed off me. "Good luck, Michael," she offered as she locked her eyes with mine. "Be strong for me."

"Michael, have you had anything to eat since you've been here?" asked Celestia.

"Other than milk from my love, no, your Majesty," I replied. She gave me a sly grin before nodding her head.

"That's good. This process may cause you some nausea and other discomfort." She lit her horn a brilliant gold color and enveloped my head in it. My vision went blurry, with everything taking on a soft golden hue to it. I felt her presence in my mind as she began her search. She went through my long-term memories, looking at events which happened when I was a child. She sympathized with me regarding the bullying I was forced to endure and the seemingly arbitrary punishments meted out by my parents. She noted a great many things about my schooling, noticing my language didn't match.

"Your language is most interesting," she mused as she continued looking through my mind. I blushed in embarrassment as she nickered at some of the things I did as a teenager. She examined my military history and expressed disappointment at seeing the mistakes I made there. She proceeded to examine the next 30 years of my life very swiftly, noticing that it was highly repetitive, with the exception of my marriage to Brenda.

She continued through my memories, noticing the harsh treatment I received from my wife, no matter how hard I tried to please her. She moved forward through my memories and saw other facets of my psyche, which intrigued and fascinated her. She found my most recent memories and examined those as well. She finished her mind delve and exited, releasing me from the spell. I exhaled in relief.

"So, you never divorced her and wished to come here -- I sympathize with your plight, but I cannot grant you a divorce. If it is your choice to stay with Miss Milky Way, you have my blessing. If you wish to marry her, I will grant you that desire as well."

"Thank you, your Majesty," I stated reverently and bowed to her again.

"I must ask you about boku-maru, though -- I would like to experience it myself," she mused.

"What, you want me to boku-maru>with you?" I asked, almost incredulously.

"Yes, of course, Michael," she chuckled. "I've never done that with a human before."

"Have you ever done that at all?" I asked.

"Truthfully, no, Michael -- I've never even heard of it until just now."

"As you have performed a mind delve on me, then you may have noticed how I reacted to it -- I must admit, I'm quite curious to see your reaction to it, though there's a possibility that if either of us is anticipating the sensation, it may not work. Milky Way, would you be kind enough to indulge me?"

The mare gave me a puzzled look. "You want to boku-maru with Princess Celestia? I -- um, I would rather you not do that, Michael -- but -- since she's the Princess, I guess I can't really say no, can I?"

"Well -- you could say no, my little pony -- but I would beg of you this indulgence, just once if you please," the alicorn offered softly, a demure smile on her face.

"Mmmmmh, all right, go ahead. Michael, please try not to enjoy it too much," the milkmare requested, though her words were tinged with a little unhappiness.

The alicorn laid on her back on the floor, almost eagerly anticipating the result. I laid on the floor at that point, though not before I had stolen a glance or two at the alicorn's underside. She flashed me a sly grin when she made eye contact with me and I blanched for a second as I extended my legs, my feet lightly touching against her hind hooves. The soft flow of energy trickled between us, but I was astonished when the alicorn used her magic to intensify the sensation.

"Your Majesty, I don't think it's a very good idea to use your magic to enhance the flow of energy -- something bad might happen," I opined almost fearfully. The flow of energy became very strong, causing me to break contact with her.

"Michael, why did you do that?" she asked, her words reeking of disappointment.

"I tried to tell you -- I don't know what it felt like for you, but for me, it felt like my feet were on fire -- it hurt me a little," I replied, giving her an almost baleful look.

"You have my apologies, Michael -- perhaps my magic is too strong."

"Perhaps you should try that with another alicorn instead of a weak mortal like myself," I suggested. She flashed me another wicked grin before teleporting away.

"Michael, was it really as painful as you said it was?" Milky Way asked as she came over to me to inspect my feet. Noticing they were slightly singed, she licked them with her tongue.

"GAAAAH! Milky Way! That tickles! Hee, hee, hee!" I giggled, causing her to giggle in response and lick them even more passionately.

"Gotta make sure they're clean, Michael," she opined cheerfully. "But I would like to know who else you've boku-marued with," she asked as lightly caressed my left foot.

"Um, I think she calls herself, 'the Great and Powerful' Trixie," I replied. Milky Way's expression darkened at me. "That was still yesterday, before I met you -- look, I haven't done it with anypony else, and I promise you this: I will not boku-maru with anypony other than you for as long as we love each other," I stated firmly as I gazed into her eyes again, holding her head firmly in my hands.

"Mmmh, you're so strong," she commented. "Please, Michael, don't do it with anypony else, for my sake -- you'd break my heart if you did."

"You have my word, my love," I cooed softly to her. My stomach rumbled at this point, breaking the delicate moment. "Um, sorry about that, my love -- I guess I need some more milk."

"Michael! You're terrible!" she giggled. "If you want more milk, all you have to do is ask!"

"My love, may I have more of your milk? It tastes like ice cream some times," I noted. Lyra and Bon-Bon had already gone to the kitchen as Milky Way and I returned to our room. Once again, I laid on the floor as the milkmare giggled and stood in her usual position. I continued to be amazed by the fact that each time I milked her like this, she would suck my dick and bring me to climax. I was also impressed that I would succeed in bringing her to climax by milking her in this fashion.

"Is your -- thing -- getting longer? I don't remember it being this long," she commented.

"I dunno, Milky -- let me check it out," I replied as I stroked it with my right hand. I was shocked by the fact that when erect, it was now about twice its original fully erect length. "Hmm, ten inches long? Interesting," I chuckled.

"How do you know it's that long?" she asked. I spread out my right hand, holding my thumb against the base and the span along the length of my member. The tip of my pinkie finger didn't quite reach the tip of my member.

"My hand span is slightly more than nine inches -- and as you can see, my penis is now longer than the length of my hand span," I commented. "It was never this long in the past -- must be your milk, or something," I mused.

"Mmmmh, Michael, you wanna slip it into my pussy again?" she giggled.

"Hmm, I guess -- oh, that's right -- it wasn't this long when we had sex last night, was it?" I asked, giving her a wicked grin. "If it gets too much longer, it might hurt you -- your pussy is really tight."

Without answering me, she turned her back to me and raised her tail, wiggling her hips provocatively, spreading her haunches and showing me her dripping wet slit. I was staring at her teats as well as her pussy as I crept forward on my knees and put my hands on her hocks, sliding them up and down.

"Mmmmh, yes! I knew you'd want to!" she giggled as she backed her hips into my lower abdomen. I ran my right hand up and down the length of her outer labia, feeling the softness and wetness of her pussy lips. I put the tip of my glans against them and slid it in slowly. Her muscles contracted around it in rippling waves as I sensed just how tight her love tunnel was -- it felt even tighter now than it did last night as I pushed a little further, then felt a strong resistance as I was about two-thirds the way in.

"Miss Milky Way, I think you might still be a virgin," I mused softly.

"But -- but -- we just had sex last night! How can you say that?" she asked in shock.

"Because my dick wasn't long enough to push through your hymen," I replied. "This -- this might hurt a little," I warned. I pulled back a little further to ready myself as I felt the mare clench her muscles tightly. My glans slid out of her pussy with a wet popping sound.

"Mmmh, was that it?" she asked.

"No, my love -- you pushed it out with your muscles," I replied. "I'm amazed -- I didn't know you could do that," I said. I looked down at my rock-hard glans and noticed the tip had flared out a little, causing me to raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Since when have I had a flared tip to my dick?" I asked rhetorically.

"Don't be silly! All stallions have flared tips to their, uhh, things," she giggled.

"Mine's never had a flared tip to it, Milky," I stated, surprise evident in my tone.

"Come on and fuck me, Michael! Don't worry about it!"

I shrugged my shoulders and placed the flared end of my dick to her pussy lips and slid it in. It seemed like a natural fit as I slid in further, then pushed through the resistance.

"OWWWWW!!" she cried out in pain. I panicked a little and pulled out of her, my glans showing a little bit of her bright red blood. My heart sank a little as I saw her turn around and blanch upon seeing it, which caused her to faint immediately. Lyra and Bon-Bon galloped as fast as they could to the room and growled at me when they saw me trying to revive the milkmare laying on the floor.

"Get out of my house!" Bon-Bon barked at me, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"Please let me wash it off," I pleaded weakly. Milky Way recovered and woke up, tears trickling from her eyes.

"Michael, why did you do that to me?" she asked.

"I told you you were still a virgin, my love -- I tried to warn you that it would hurt a little."

"It hurt a LOT!" she nearly wailed, a very hurt tone to her voice.

"I'm sorry," I uttered as I tried to embrace her in an attempt to comfort her. I was pulled away by her cousin quite forcefully.

"I thought I told you to GET OUT!" Bon-Bon shouted at me. "Cousin, leave him be -- he doesn't deserve you."

"Jeez, Michael, how long is your dick?" asked Lyra as she stared at it dumbly. "I don't think I've ever seen a stallion with a dick that long!"

"Don't tell me you wanna feel what it would be like," I muttered. She nodded her head, a dumb grin on her face.

"Michael! Please! Think about me! You -- you want to -- no, Michael, please don't -- you'd break my heart!" the milkmare exclaimed, her words tinged with deep sadness. She trotted up to me slowly and embraced me again, gazing into my eyes. "Michael, I need you to be with me, please."

"My love, I don't want to leave you -- and I'm deeply sorry for hurting you. Are you still in pain?" I asked.

"No, Michael -- the pain is gone, I feel okay. Cousin, thanks for looking out for me, but I can take care of myself. If you want me to go, I will -- but I want Michael to come with me!"

"Sorry about that, Michael. Bathroom is on the left if you wanna wash off," Bon-Bon offered, her head and ears lowered.

"Thanks, Bon-Bon -- I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. I promise to treat your cousin with respect," I stated as I rose to my feet and trudged to the bathroom. I turned on the water in the tub and rinsed off my dick, putting it back into my briefs. I turned off the water and went back into our room, noticing the milkmare having climbed back into the bed. I laid down next to her and cradled her in my arms again, cooing softly into her ear. She responded by smiling at me again and wrapping her legs around me, hugging me tightly and kissing me lightly on my lips.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 7

We had laid down to get some more sleep, even though it was now mid-morning. The milkmare breathed softly as I held her in my arms, a soft smile on her face. It felt nice to hold her as I drifted off to sleep again. Normally, the sun's light would keep me awake, but all the previous day's activities had made me quite tired. We slept for a few more hours before Lyra entered and woke us up to have lunch.

"Wakey-wakey, you two -- lunch is ready," Lyra stated in a sing-song voice.

I groaned in protest and tried to rub sleep from my eyes. I ended up hitting myself in the face with something hard. "Oww! What the fuck?" I asked as I opened my eyes, waving the offending hoof and shaking it in frustration. "What the fuck is this?" I shrieked in a very unnaturally high-pitched voice as I brought the hoof closer to examine it. It was a deep purple, which ran the length of my arm. Milky Way woke up with a start upon hearing my shriek and gasped audibly when she saw me.

"Who -- who are you?" she asked as she roughly pulled herself away from me.

"Milky, I'm Michael, remember?" I asked, my voice sounding somewhat normal. "Um, I think your milk may have done this to me," I opined, grinning sheepishly. "I had no idea."

"Well -- looks like you're a stallion for real, now," she mused. "A unicorn stallion at that -- is that what you wanted, Michael?"

"Um, not really, no -- well, kinda -- I dunno! I -- I -- didn't expect something like -- like -- THIS!" I exclaimed as I tried to rise to my hooves, falling on my face as I hit the floor. "OWW!"

"What's going on here? Cousin, who -- who -- IS that stallion? He's kinda cute," Bon-Bon giggled.

"Bon-Bon, it's Michael -- MY stallion, remember?" the milkmare answered, glaring at her cousin.

"The police aren't going to believe this," I muttered. "How am I supposed to be a material witness if my appearance has changed so radically? They're expecting a human, not a unicorn stallion. What does the rest of me look like? What color is my mane and tail? How about my eyes? Do I have a cutie mark?" I asked as I craned my neck around to check my flanks, which unfortunately did not have a cutie mark. My tail was a mix of gold and orange with a hint of red.

"Your mane matches your tail, Michael -- and your eyes are a bright orange -- they match mine!" Lyra giggled. "No cutie mark, though."

"What was your special talent as a human, Michael?" asked Milky Way. She grinned at me.

"I fancied myself a jack-of-all-trades -- but my specialty was delivering things, be it newspapers, pizza, or packages. My combined experience with delivery is more than 44 years," I noted.

"That's amazing!" Lyra chirped. "How old are you?"

"I'm 50, but -- I wonder if milk played a role in de-aging me as well as transforming me," I mused. The milkmare blushed and giggled nervously.

"Um, I think I need to be milked again, Michael," she offered, smiling at me again. Once again, I assumed the position as she straddled my head without a second thought. I brought my muzzle to her teats and began trying to squeeze one of her teats, though my attempt proved to be quite clumsy.

"Michael, please be careful!" she admonished as I made another attempt at it. My mouth didn't fit right on her teat and her milk splashed on my muzzle. My hooves didn't have enough pliability to wrap around her teat and my attempt to squeeze applied too much pressure, forcing the milk out randomly. My groan of frustration was matched by hers as she wasn't experiencing the level of pleasure I had previously been able to provide her. She strode forward, leaving me laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

"You're no longer a human -- you're a stallion now -- ugh! Why -- why did you have to change?" she groaned.

"Discord! Discord! Discord! Discord!" I shouted at the ceiling. The other mares gasped in horror as I repeatedly called out the name of the chaos entity, who chose that moment to teleport into the room.

"Michael, you only have to call my name but once," he grumbled. "What -- oh! You've been transformed! Do you like your new form?" he grinned.

"Is this your doing, Discord?" I asked, glaring at him almost angrily. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I wish I could take credit for doing that -- but I can't. I'm not responsible for your transformation, even though I am the one who brought you over here -- what? You WANT to stay as a human?"

"He has given me so much pleasure as a human, Mr. Discord -- if you could change him back, I would be deeply grateful," Milky Way offered. The draconequus stared at her teats and grinned.

"Hmmm. If you let me sample your milk directly from the source, I might be able to change him back for you," he offered, a sly grin on his face. Without waiting for her to answer, he used his magic to create a milking machine and attached it to her teats, practically emptying her in a matter of seconds.

"Oooooooooohhhhh!" she moaned at the sensation. "How -- how did you DO that?"

"Magic, of course," he replied nonchalantly as he sipped loudly on a cup of her milk he had poured for himself. "Quite tasty, my dear -- you would make quite a bit of money selling this nectar to other ponies," he mused.

"I have a shop in Trottingham, where I do sell it -- oh my gosh! I've got to get back there! I was only supposed to stay one day! Michael, I need you to come with me back to Trottingham!"

"I'll save you the trouble, my dear," the chaos entity stated warmly. "Michael, care to join us?"

"Yeah, I know I'm needed as a material witness here, but -- I need her as much as she needs me," I replied sullenly. Discord carried both of us under his arms and teleported us to Trottingham, depositing us in front of the milkmare's shop. There was a line of ponies waiting at the door, and upon spotting us, they rushed over.

"Milky Way! I need five quarts!" one of the mares shouted.

"I need six!" another mare shouted.

"Wait until she opens her shop," I stated firmly, making my way to stand between the crowd and the milkmare, who finally managed to open the front door. The crowd advanced on the door, backing me towards it. "Stop! She's not ready yet!" I shouted as I had reached the front door. I retreated one step inside, noticing she had readied herself at the register. She nodded her head to me as I turned to face the crowd. "One at a time, please," I stated loudly as I stood beside the front door, allowing a single pony to enter the shop and make his or her purchase. It took a couple of hours for the last of the ponies in line to make her purchase before I went back inside and closed the door.

"That was crazy," I commented.

"Thanks for spacing them out like that -- usually they rush in all at once, making it really difficult for me," she smiled. "Discord hasn't changed you back yet?"

"I dunno, Milky -- I guess I might be stuck like this," I noted glumly. "I'm sorry I can't give you the same feeling as earlier. Um, you still love me, yes?"

She trotted over to me, smiling warmly and embraced me. "Of course I love you, Michael! Don't be silly! I'll always love you, even if you can't milk me the same way as before -- it's just that I got frustrated that you weren't able to do like you did before. I don't want you to think I don't love you, Michael."

I rubbed my muzzle against hers, side to side before kissing her. "I love you, Milky Way -- I don't wanna lose you -- I've never felt happier in my entire life than when I'm with you," I cooed softly. Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of rouge as she blushed upon hearing my words.

"Oooh, Michael! You -- you -- I love you so much!" she cooed in return as she kissed me passionately again, wrapping herself around me. Seeing her smile like that made me feel like I had butterflies in my stomach, my heart feeling like it wanted to pound out of my chest for her as I held her close to me.

"Hey, I haven't seen your house yet -- what's it look like?" I asked.

"I don't live very far at all from my shop -- I'd be thrilled to show it to you, Michael!" she chirped. I followed her as she led the way out of her shop, flipping the sign back over to closed, then she closed the door and locked it behind her. She led the way down the street as I trotted leisurely behind her, taking in the sights and sounds of Trottingham. The city was considerably larger than Ponyville and the streets seemed to be a little more crowded. Shops were more orderly and houses were laid out on a grid pattern, unlike the seeming randomness of Ponyville. After about ten more minutes of trotting, we turned down her street and went a couple more blocks before she trotted up the walkway to her apartment building.

"Home sweet home," she chirped as she opened the front door of the building. She trotted to the staircase and took the first step up. "I live on the eighth floor, Michael -- hope you're okay with stairs."

"Um, is there no elevator?" I asked.

"What's an elevator?" she asked. My eyes went wide with fear when she asked that.

"An elevator carries ponies up and down along a shaft, letting them out at their desired floor when the elevator reaches it. The desired floor is selected by pushing a button on the inside of the elevator car. A series of motorized cables and pulleys lifts the elevator and lowers it gently, depending on where a pony gets on and decides to get off. Some elevators use hydraulic power to raise and lower the platform," I explained. "Where I come from, any building with five floors or more requires an elevator so the physically handicapped can go where they need to."

"That sounds like a very useful invention, Michael -- why not see if you can build something like that for us?"

"This building probably doesn't even have an elevator shaft -- I'll try to go upstairs," I replied sullenly. The milkmare began her trek up each flight of stairs, waiting for me at each landing. The going was painfully slow, but after about six flights, I was getting the hang of it. We reached the eighth floor after about a half-hour of very slow progress up the stairs, then she went to her apartment and opened it for me.

"You keep it very clean, don't you?" I asked. My voice echoed off the walls as I noticed how empty the place was.

"WAAAAH!! ALL MY STUFF IS GONE!!" she wailed as she fell to her hocks and cradled her head in her forehooves, shaking it from side to side.

"Did you have renter's insurance?" I asked softly. She turned to look at me, tears trickling from her eyes.

"Where did you come from? Renter's insurance? What's that?"

"Insurance agents offer coverage for your belongings if you rent an apartment from somepony -- you keep an inventory of your belongings, and if something like -- this -- happens, you can file a claim with the insurance company, hopefully getting full replacement for your loss," I explained.

"No, no, no! I -- I --" she cried. I hugged her close to me and whispered in her ear.

"Sssh, it's gonna be okay -- you've got me, I'm here for you," I offered softly. "We'll get your stuff back, I'll find a way."

"But -- who are we going to talk to? I don't know --"

"We ask your neighbors if they've seen any suspicious activity. We ask the police to investigate. Maybe we might catch the crooks if they come back," I offered. "How long were you gone for?"

"Just a couple of days -- but -- do you know how big Trottingham is?"

"No, I've never been here before -- how big is this town?"

"It's three times bigger than Ponyville, Michael! I've lived here all my life, and there are areas I still haven't been to," she replied sullenly. We trotted around the apartment, noting her bed was still there, though her vanity had been ransacked, various items scattered on the floor. She went to the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan and returned with them only to see me levitating various objects with my horn glowing a pale yellow, depositing the items as orderly as I could in the vanity.

"You were a human less than four hours ago, and yet you're already using telekinesis? How?"

"I've read stories -- some explaining how to focus my magic in such a way as to grab the item and move it where I picture it going," I stated. "But wrapping my aura around each object doesn't seem to make sense to me -- let me see if I can shape my aura into something a little more useful," I mused. I focused on my aura, attempting to shape it into a pair of human hands, then shaping the hands into flat-blade shovels. I used my telekinesis to take the broom and sweep the floor, moving the items into one of the flat-blade shovels, lifting it and depositing a large number of items into the vanity.

"Wow! That's amazing!" she exclaimed.

"I wonder if I can milk your teats using my aura shaped like hands," I mused.

"Um, I'm not ready to be milked just yet, Michael -- but when I am, I'll let you know!" she giggled. "Can you use your magic to trace any magical residue if somepony used magic to take my stuff?"

"That's Twilight's specialty -- we'd need her help on this -- but how would we contact her right now?"

"Leave that to me," quipped Discord as he teleported into the room.

"Perhaps you could track down her stuff and return it to her?" I asked him.

"Let me have some more milk, and I'll do that for you," he chuckled.

"I'd be so grateful if you could do that for me," the milkmare declared, smiling warmly at the draconequus.

"But of course -- your milk is the finest I've ever tasted -- or at least any since about three millennia ago," he chuckled. Milky Way blushed at his statement.

"Um, are you going to do this the same way as last time?" she asked hesitantly.

"It was quite quick, wasn't it? Did it feel good for you?"

"Yes, it did!" she chirped.

"Happy to oblige, my dear," he chuckled as he magically milked her again. "Michael, how are you liking your new form?"

"I'm adjusting to it rather well, Discord. Thanks for your, uhh, kindness," I offered sheepishly.

"Fluttershy is giving me lessons in kindness, so I appreciate your compliment," he said. "It makes me feel good to know I'm doing something to benefit the ponies."

"It pleases me to know you feel the way you do -- for too long, you've been portrayed as a villain -- and I am happy to see you having changed your past ways," I noted almost reverently. "By the way, have you checked on Rarity? Is there something that can be done to help her?"

"Right now, she's being interrogated by Celestia -- I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done, considering what she's done in the past. Celly's not too happy about this -- but I'll let her know you asked about Rarity. I'll also let her know you're over here in Trottingham -- she told me she was interested in seeing you again. I think she'll be amused to see you in your new form," he chuckled before disappearing again.

"But -- but -- my stuff!" Milky Way protested. "I thought he was going to --"

Some loud noises interrupted her thought. We trotted into the entry way to see various objects materializing in different places as her stuff was being magically returned to her. She gasped in astonishment as she saw chairs, tables, her refrigerator and stove, plates and silverware, and quite a lot of other objects too mundane to list seemingly return to their original places. We were dumbstruck as we watched this happen.

"He drained you of all your milk again, didn't he?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, but -- I keep some in the fridge," she replied. Upon opening the fridge, she gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"He took all the milk out of here, too! Um, shall we return to my shop? Or did you want something besides milk?"

"What have you got? Perhaps we need to go to the market and get some food?"

"Let me check the cabinets." She closed the refrigerator and started examining the cabinets. She got a box of pancake mix, holding it in her right fore-hoof. I couldn't see how she managed to do that, so I asked.

"Milky, how can you hold a box like that when you don't have any fingers?" I asked facetiously. She trotted over to me and placed her left forehoof on my mane and squeezed it. The frog of her hoof seemed to materialize around the strands of my mane, clamping them against the inside part of her hoof, which amazed me. "That's very interesting," I commented.

"You should be able to do that as well, Michael! Or are you going to rely on your magic to do that?"

"I'm kinda surprised that I'm able to use magic this easily -- perhaps it seems to be something innate, that I can wield magic almost effortlessly -- I remember reading that some humans when they become unicorns find it difficult to focus and use their magic -- but -- maybe it has something to do with how the brain is wired, or something," I mused.

"Where did you read about that?" she asked as she fetched a bowl and poured some mix into it, then poured some water into the bowl. She turned on her mixmaster and blended the batter.

"Back on my homeworld, we had this thing called the internet -- it allowed us to do lots of different things, but I used it for reading stories some times," I replied casually.

"Oooh, what sorts of stories? I'd like to know," she mused as she fetched a griddle from another cabinet, then turned on the stove.

"You have electricity here? Or is that a gas stove?" I asked as I saw her turn one of the knobs.

"It's a magic stove -- you have no idea how much this thing cost the landlord -- that's why I freaked when I saw it missing. All the furniture in here is owned by the landlord, and if any of it comes up missing or damaged, I have to pay to replace it -- my security deposit --"

"How much is your rent?"

"Trottingham is not cheap -- this apartment costs 500 bits per month," she replied. "I make that much each week running my shop, but the rent on the shop is 500 bits per month as well."

"And if Discord takes too much milk from you, you won't have enough to sell to the ponies who want it. Have you thought about raising the price of your milk?"

"I -- I couldn't do that! I'd lose my customers," she replied, aghast at my question.

"When did you last raise your prices?"

"Uhhhh..."

"You haven't, have you? I noticed how much each customer was buying -- they cleaned you out in less than two hours," I noted. "If you raise your prices, maybe just a little at first, you might make more money."

"But isn't ten bits per quart a little high?"

"How many quarts do you produce each day?"

"Ten -- but I dilute it a little, as the raw milk is too strong. Even a half and half mix of milk and water is too strong for some ponies," she replied as she flipped the pancakes over.

"Raise the price to fifteen bits per quart -- let your customers know that they've been getting a very good deal on it, but you need to cover operating expenses and that at fifteen bits per quart, it's still a steal," I stated. "If you still sell out in less than two hours, you'll need to raise it to twenty bits per quart. If the ponies of Trottingham are that wealthy, then they can pay Canterlot prices for high quality items."

"But -- my regulars would get upset with me! I -- I couldn't do that to them!" she protested.

"Well, let's give it a try tomorrow. Do you have any milk left to sell?"

"I do, but I only have about twenty quarts left. I can't let you take any more of my milk right now, as I need to save it for sales," she replied. She checked the pancakes for doneness and removed them, then poured more batter for another batch. She placed the plate with three pancakes on it in front of me.

"Are these mine or yours?" I asked.

"Yours, Michael -- I can't help but thank you for such good advice! Now I'm really glad I have you as my stallion!"

"Thank you so much, Milky Way -- you spoil me like this. You have any syrup?"

"Sure, let me get it for you," she replied as she went to another cabinet, opening it and fetching a bottle of syrup, placing it on the table for me.

"Ribbon Cane Syrup? Miss Milky Way, you are too kind!" I exclaimed. "I haven't had any of this in years!"

"Oh, so you know about that stuff? I have a friend who works in a specialty market and orders that stuff from Neigh Orleans," she commented as she flipped her pancakes over. She brought me a knife and fork so I could begin eating.

"What do you have to drink?" I asked.

"Let me check the fridge again," she replied as she trotted over to it, opening the door. She gasped again and brought me a bottle of milk, setting it on the table, grinning broadly. "It's full of my milk again," she giggled. "Enjoy!"

I shook my head in disbelief as I opened the bottle telekinetically and levitated it to me. "You want me to drink straight from the bottle, or should I pour some into a glass?"

"You can drink from the bottle, Michael, I have no problem with that," she replied as she took her pancakes off the griddle and turned off the stove. She took a chair across from me and began cutting her cakes into squares. "I'll share that one with you."

"These are really good, Milky -- you really know how to cook!" I said through a mouthful of food.

"Don't talk while you're eating, Michael -- that's bad manners. Thanks for the compliment, though."

"Sorry -- I didn't know," I offered, my ears lowered a little. I took a swig from the milk bottle, then a slightly larger swallow before setting the bottle back on the table. "So, what else are we doing today?"

"Would you like to take a tour of Trottingham?"

"I'd love to do that, Miss Milky Way," I replied, grinning at her.

"Help me clean up after you're done eating and I'll show you around," she offered after finishing another bite of her pancakes. She drank heavily from her bottle.

"You drink your own milk?" I asked, my eyes wide with surprise.

"Of course I do, silly!" she giggled. "It helps me produce more of it."

"Ah," I commented. I finished eating my food and drank what was left in the milk bottle -- a couple of swallows and that was it. "Perhaps a little more milk?"

"Maybe later, Michael. Have some water instead," she offered as she took a pitcher of water from out of the fridge and poured it into a glass for me. I sipped on it, finding the taste somewhat disagreeable. The frown on my face showed her my distaste for the water.

"Something wrong with the water?"

"Doesn't taste very good -- there's a metallic taste to it, something bad," I noted. The words weren't even five seconds out of my mouth before I fell to the floor, clutching my belly with my forehooves and writhing in pain. I moaned in agony as my stomach felt like it was on fire.

"Michael! Oh my gosh! I'll go get some help!"

I felt a wave of fear wash over me, my body going cold, my vision darkening. I lost consciousness after that, oblivious to anything going on around me. Milky Way dashed out of her apartment and knocked on each of her neighbors' doors, frantically searching for anypony who could help me. She managed to find a pale-blue pegasus mare a few years older than her who accompanied her back to the apartment and found me laying motionless.

"MICHAEL!" the milkmare shrieked. She laid close to me, her head on my chest. The other mare approached and placed a hoof where my heartbeat could be felt. She felt my chest rise and fall gently. My coat was very warm to the touch.

"I'm not sure what's wrong with him," she declared as she stared at me. Her eyes went wide with fear when she saw me start shaking, then saw my hind legs begin to lengthen and my forelegs shorten as my body began to change slowly in front of their eyes. My coat of fur seemed to disappear, revealing pale peach-colored skin, sparsely bedecked with short black or dark brown hair. My face changed its shape to reveal somewhat humanoid features and my hooves disappeared, only to be replaced by hands and feet.

"He's changing back!" Milky Way cried, half jubilantly, half in shock. "HE'S CHANGING BACK!!" she exclaimed joyfully. "MICHAEL!!"

"What -- what -- IS HE?" asked the other mare in shock.

"He's a human, Sky Bolt! He's MY human!" she chirped. The transformation lasted only a few minutes and I regained consciousness, holding my head with my hands.

"Owwww, did somepony get the number of the truck that just hit me?" I asked in confusion. "Who are you?" I asked the pale-blue mare.

"I'm one of Milky's neighbors -- I'm Sky Bolt," she offered. "I can't believe what I just witnessed! You were a unicorn stallion -- a rather handsome one at that -- but -- you -- uhhhh," she noted as she lost her train of thought.

"Sky, he's my human stallion -- go get one of your own! Thanks for your help, but I'm okay now -- in fact, I'm better than okay! I've got my human back!" she cooed as she hugged me tightly.

"Uhhh, okay," the pale-blue mare said sheepishly. "I guess I'll go back home now. Seeya around, Milky." She then left, closing the door behind her. "That mare is so damned weird..." she muttered to herself as she re-entered her apartment.

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"So what you're saying is -- my milk turned you into a stallion and that water changed you back into a human?" the mare asked incredulously. I simply nodded my head in affirmation, a sardonic smile on my face. She pondered this information for a few moments before grinning broadly at me.

"You know what this means? It means you can trot by my side when we go anywhere, and you can milk me properly when we're in the privacy of my apartment! This is wonderful!" she chirped.

"Great, but you forget one minor detail -- the reverse transformation from pony to human is excruciatingly painful for me -- and I halfway wonder how much internal bleeding I suffered as a result of that -- that -- tainted water," I stated matter-of-factly, though I practically spat out the last two words.

"How badly did it hurt?" she asked, giving me a worried look.

"Bad enough that I don't wanna do it again," I replied firmly.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Yes, a little -- I may need a few minutes to recover." She sidled over to me and leaned against me as I sat up, propping myself up with my left hand against the floor. She gave me a soft kiss on the lips and an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry for doing that to you, Michael," she offered softly, then flashed me a big smile. "But I'm so happy to have you back as a human! I've been wanting a stallion for a long time -- but -- you're even better than that!"

"Thanks, Milky -- thanks for understanding. Thanks for being so generous and kind," I replied warmly, smiling in return.

"Now how about that tour of Trottingham I promised you?" she grinned. I looked down at myself and noticed I didn't even have my skivvies to cover my modesty.

"I can't go anywhere looking like this -- I need -- what happened to my skivvies?"

"What are those?"

"Do you remember when I had this piece of white cloth around my midsection before I became a pony? I think they might still be at your cousin's house," I mused. "I'm too self-conscious about my nudity to walk around in public with my dick hanging out."

She giggled, blushing lightly. "But the stallions do it all the time!"

"That's because they're ponies, and not human. Where I come from, humans have a very strong nudity taboo -- and since I've spent so much of my life <as> a human, I simply can't go running around butt-naked."

"Well -- I don't have anything --"

"How about a towel? You have a bath towel I can wrap around my waist?"

"I'll go get you one," she offered as she trotted to another closet, returning with a large white towel in her mouth. I took it gently.

"Thanks, Milky," I smiled as I stood up and wrapped it around me, finding it to be just large enough to do the job. I was still feeling a little light-headed and my stomach still ached pretty badly, so I found a chair and sat down. I was surprised to see she had some furniture in my size, though I figured Discord had probably done that for her. The mare trotted to me, a look of concern on her face.

"Are you all right? How are you feeling?"

"I think I need a little more time to recover," I replied softly. "Maybe that tour can wait a little bit longer."

"Trottingham will still be there whenever you feel ready, Michael! If you want, you can lay down on my bed," she offered, flashing me a grin. I stood up again and walked to her bedroom, gently laying down on her bed. She followed me in and climbed into her bed and laid down next to me, planting a soft kiss on my lips. "Mmmh, I love you, Michael," she cooed softly to me.

"I love you too, baby girl," I grinned as I returned her kiss and wrapped my left arm around her. The feeling of holding her close lulled me to sleep, even though it was only mid-day. She fell asleep soon after I did, the two of us wrapped in a lovers' embrace.

Who Can It Be Now?

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 8

Somepony knocked on the front door of the apartment. Whomever it was seemed extremely impatient as they repeatedly pounded on the front door in an almost panicked manner. The noise was loud enough to wake me and I growled angrily at the offending pony.

"This had better be really important, or somepony's getting their flank kicked tonight," I declared loudly, trudging heavily towards the front door. I opened it and my anger vanished instantly, a loud gasp escaping my lips.

"Who is it, Michael?" Milky Way asked from the bedroom. I was stunned at the sight of a very angry fashionista, her eyes narrowed to slits. I noticed she was still missing her horn.

"Michael, daaaar-ling, do you have any idea of just how long I've been searching for you?" she asked, flashing a saccharine smile, her left eye twitching a little.

My love trotted into the front room and upon seeing the alabaster mare growled angrily at her. "YOU! You tried to kill MY STALLION!" she screeched as she lowered her head and charged at her.

"Rarity, how the HELL did they let you out? You're a murderer!" I exclaimed as I stared at her in astonishment. The fashionista deftly avoided the milkmare's clumsy attack and bopped her on the head with her right forehoof, sending Milky Way crashing into the wall by the door.

"They let me out for good behavior, darling!" she giggled as she watched the mare groggily shake her head and trot a little wobbly before regaining her balance.

"YOU?! GOOD?!" I exclaimed incredulously as I witnessed the milkmare sneak behind the fashionista and grab a chair, though I made sure not to look in her direction.

"Mmmmh, daaaaar-ling, I'm always good!" she chortled. "So, when are we going to boku-maru again?"

"When Tartarus freezes over, you bitch!" the milkmare screeched, bashing her over the head with a chair. Blood oozed from the laceration it made in her forehead as the fashionista fell to the floor and groaned in pain.

"Bad idea, Milky," I stated flatly. "You probably made her even angrier."

"She's a murderer, Michael! She should be in jail!" she exclaimed indignantly, glowering furiously at the intruder.

"Well, darling, I'm not, now, am I?" asked Rarity as she hefted another chair in an attempt to bring it down on top of Milky Way's head. The fashionista was not as strong as the milkmare and found herself flying across the room as Milky Way kicked her with both her hind legs, the chair falling to the floor.

"My landlord is going to kill me when he sees the furniture like this!" the milkmare nearly wailed as the fashionista once again tried to pick up the same chair. "Oh no you don't!" she added as she kicked Rarity across the room again, this time the fashionista impacted a wall and damaged it. "AAAAH! Not the wall! AUGH! Why did you come here, anyway?"

"I came to see if Michael was still interested in marrying me -- after all, he did ask to marry me the day before yesterday," the fashionista mused, flashing a malevolent grin at both of us. She charged at the milkmare, but this time she was ready and bopped her on the head with her left forehoof, sending her crashing into yet another wall.

"He said he's already married! Michael! Why did you ask her?" she asked me sternly.

"That was before I found out she's a serial murderer," I replied as I grabbed her by her left hind leg and lifted her off the floor, then swung her around a bunch of times. The fashionista screeched in anger as her flailing forelegs smashed against furniture and decorations, causing some to shatter and the milkmare to scream again.

"Michael! STOP! How am I supposed to pay for the damage to my apartment?"

"When I turn back into a unicorn stallion, I'll repair it for you," I offered as I released my grip on Rarity, her momentum carrying her into another wall and making a huge dent in it. The alabaster mare fell to the floor, grunting in pain as she tried to shake the cobwebs loose.

"You? A unicorn stallion? What did you look like?" asked Rarity, grinning cheekily at me.

"AAAAAUUGGHH!! THAT DOES IT! BOTH OF YOU GET OUT!!" the milkmare exploded, her rage releasing itself as she threw herself on top of the fashionista, pummeling her in the face with her forehooves.

"Michael, darling, please help me!" Rarity wailed from under the barrage of Milky Way's hooves. I walked over to the two mares and pulled my love off the fashionista, glaring at her.

"Milky Way, you want some boku-maru?" I asked, flashing her a big grin.

"No! Michael, darling, you mustn't!" the fashionista pleaded, her eyes wide with self-pity.

"He's my stallion now, Rarity! You need to get out of my apartment! NOW!!"

The alabaster mare shakily rose to her hooves and trotted unsteadily to the door. Many cuts and bruises marred her coat and blood stained it in quite a few different places. Her mane and tail were a complete mess and looked like they had been hacked and mangled badly. Just before she exited the doorway, she turned toward me and flashed me an evil grin. "I'll be back," she declared in a low tone with as much anger as she could put behind it without shouting at us. She slammed the door shut behind her, nearly breaking it off its hinges.

"My apartment! It's ruined! How am I supposed to pay for all this damage? My landlord is going to kill me!" the milkmare wailed.

"I'm really sorry about that, my love," I intoned softly as I cradled her in my arms, stroking her mane with my right hand and scratching her behind her ears. "I'll do what I can to help," I whispered in her ear, then kissed her softly on her lips.

"Mmmh, it feels so nice to be held like this," she cooed softly. "I hope you're as good as your word -- I'd hate to see my landlord's reaction to this."

We were shaken out of our reverie when suddenly a sharp knocking came at the front door.

"Who is it?" Milky Way asked, almost fearfully.

"Duck Tape! I'm the building superintendent! Some of the tenants complained about the noise in here!" he shouted from behind the door. A jingling of keys was heard after he finished shouting.

The milkmare's eyes went wide with fright upon the realization. "Michael, if he sees the damage in here, he's going to report it to the landlord! I'll be buggered for sure!"

The super found the key he was looking for and opened the door to see us sitting in the midst of what looked like a battle zone -- broken furniture littered the front room, several very large holes had been punched in the drywall, various and sundry objects had been strewn about, and one picture somehow mysteriously had a moustache painted on somepony's face. The super was a fairly large brick red stallion with a medium brown and tan mane and tail, his eyes appeared to be bloodshot red.

"I'm reporting this to Slum Lord," he stated flatly. "I'd suggest you start packing now -- and you can forget about your security deposit." Without saying anything else, he turned tail and trotted slowly out the front door, closing it behind him.

"Where am I supposed to go now? They're evicting me from my apartment!" the milkmare wailed, tears streaming from her eyes. I continued to hold her close to me, hugging her and cooing softly to her.

"Sssh, sssh, it's gonna be okay, Milky. I think Twilight might let us stay at her place in Ponyville," I offered softly.

"But -- but -- what if she doesn't?"

"Hmmmm. Perhaps the boutique? Rarity's supposed to be going to jail -- that would leave her place empty. I think I might be able to persuade the police to give her house to us," I mused.

"But -- but -- her basement! You said -- it's -- a killing chamber!"

"I believe the police will have taken everything they need out of it -- there was a huge amount of evidence down there, which they most likely will have catalogued for use against her in trial."

"But -- what if they haven't?"

"Then I'll let the police know they haven't done their jobs properly and that they need to take the evidence into their custody."

"But -- what if Rarity comes back to her home to find us there?"

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it, Milky," I replied nonchalantly.

"I don't like that idea, Michael -- can't we find somewhere else to stay?"

"Perhaps there's a hotel or something nearby -- maybe we can get it pretty cheap," I suggested. "Do you have anything saved from your shop?"

"My shop! Of course! We can stay there, Michael -- I have a different landlord for my business. Please help me start packing my stuff."

I followed her to her bedroom and she got a suitcase out and opened it, then she opened her closet. I marveled at the numerous uniforms she had.

"I need as many of those as you can get for me -- and don't forget the hats, I need those as well." She opened her chest and pulled out something which looked like lingerie -- or perhaps what might have passed for brassieres, and put a few of them on the bed. "Can you pack those in there as well?"

I grabbed all the uniforms -- a pale green one, a black and white one, a bright red one, a pink one, a solid white one, a deep blue one, and a grey one. Each of them had matching hats, which I placed in the suitcase along with the uniforms. There was plenty of room left for her personal items, but her milking machine would not fit.

"Do you have a box for your machine?" I asked as I began to zip up the suitcase.

"Don't close the suitcase yet -- I have some more stuff to put in there," she noted as she found a few more items she needed. "Toothbrushes, mane brushes, toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, hoof file and hooficure set, and my hairdryer."

I stuffed the items in carefully, but noticed the bed. "What about blankets and pillows?"

"Please see if you can stuff this blanket and one pillow in there as well," she requested. I folded up the bedcover, placing it in the suitcase, which was now starting to bulge. The pillow made it in, but just barely. I noticed the suitcase now weighed about fifty pounds, so lugging it around was going to be a chore.

"Too bad we can't take the bed with us," I mused.

"I need my milking machine," she stated as she found a box for it. The machine also weighed about fifty pounds and the box was rather unwieldy.

"I don't think I can carry both the suitcase and the box with your machine in it," I opined glumly.

"Tie the suitcase to my back, I'll manage it," she offered.

I looked around for something I could use to strap the suitcase to the milkmare's back, but another knocking at the front door interrupted my search. I opened the door just a little to see who it might be. I was quite surprised to see a certain draconequus standing at the door.

"Why didn't you just teleport in?" I asked.

"I wanted to surprise you," he chuckled. "May I come in?"

"I guess -- I don't know if you heard or not, but they let Rarity out for good behavior -- she and Milky got into it and damaged the apartment, and now the super's gonna tell the landlord about it and now we're gonna have to leave," I stated. "Oh, sorry about that -- yeah, you can come in," I added as I opened the door for him.

"Hmmm, looks like a pitched battle took place in here," he mused as he surveyed the damage. The milkmare came trotting out to look for me at this point, then gasped when she saw the chaos entity.

"Discord? What brings you back?" she asked.

"I need some more of your milk, dear," he replied warmly, smiling at her. "Normally I wouldn't go to this much trouble -- but your milk is worth it. In exchange, I'll repair all the damage," he added as he waved his lion's paw, restoring everything to like new, with no damage visible. Even the smallest decorative objects had been repaired and returned to their original places.

"Uhhhh -- yeah, okay, help yourself," Milky Way offered, her mouth agape as she stood in awe of the seemingly miraculous work the draconequus had just done with the wave of a paw.

"Excellent, thank you very much!" he chortled as he magically milked the mare dry again, then disappeared.

"Looks like we're not gonna have to leave after all," I mused, smiling at the mare.

"If he keeps taking all my milk like that, I'm not going to have any money to pay my rent!" she cried, anxiety coloring her words. Less than ten seconds elapsed when a loud thump was heard, followed by a jingling of coins. A very large brown cloth bag was sitting in the front room right beside the couch. The mare trotted over to it and opened it, then gasped very loudly.

"Oh my gosh! Look at all this money! Wow, I had no idea he was so generous! This -- this is enough money to pay for a whole year here!" she exclaimed in amazement. "Michael, can you take this into my bedroom?"

I walked over to it and hefted it over my shoulder, grunting at the sheer weight of it. "Jeez, it feels like it weighs about a hundred pounds," I noted gruffly as I carried it into her room. I went back into the front room to take the suitcase back into her room, then grabbed the box with her milking machine in it. "Hey babe, you want me to put your uniforms back in the closet?" I asked from the room. She trotted back to the room with a smile on her face.

"Did you just call me babe?" she grinned, a light blush to her cheeks.

"Of course I did -- I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, girl!" I chuckled.

Her smile widened into a big grin, her cheeks flaring red as she closed the distance between us. She reared onto her hind legs and propped her forelegs over my shoulders. "Mmmmh, Michael, please -- please kiss me, my love," she cooed softly to me. She giggled at having called me 'my love' before pursing her lips to meet mine.

"Mmmh, I love you, girl," I cooed softly to her as I opened my mouth to press my lips against hers and slid my tongue into her mouth. She reciprocated, pushing her tongue into my mouth and swirling it around mine. I held the back of her head with my left hand and ran my right hand up and down her back before finding the cleave of her hindquarters, feeling the softness of her flanks as we continued to kiss, breathing sharply through our noses. We broke the kiss after a few minutes, both of us needing to catch our breath.

"I don't think I've ever been happier than when I'm with you," I opined softly as I gazed into her eyes, a big smile on my face.

"Ooooh, Michael! I love you!" she declared as she glomped me again, the both of us falling onto her bed. "Mmmmh, I wanna boku-maru with you again!"

"Oooh, that sounds like a good idea," I grinned. "Lay on the bed for me, love," I instructed. Without saying another word, she immediately took her position on the bed for me, a big grin on her face. I laid on the floor on my back, though the coldness of the floor surprised me a little. I placed my feet against her hind hooves, just barely touching the soles of my feet against the frogs of her hind hooves. Once again the soft flow of energy moved back and forth between us, instilling a feeling of utter relaxation. I sighed in contentment as she moaned in pleasure.

"That must feel better for you than it does for me," I mused, eliciting a giggle from the mare. The sensation began to intensify for me as the energy flow became stronger, my pleasure center beginning to receive the signals as I involuntarily moaned in pleasure as well.

"Mmmh, somepony's beginning to like this!" she giggled, then moaned again, more loudly this time. The flow of energy intensified further still as a very warm sensation enveloped me. It felt as though the chi was amplifying my positive emotions as well as hers, making us feel even happier.

"My love, I think we're getting close," I noted as I began panting and gasping for breath.

"Mmmh! Yesss! Oooooh!" she moaned as her body shook and trembled before relaxing.

"I wonder if that's how Lyra and Bon-Bon felt after they did that -- I also wonder if that's how Twilight and Trixie felt after they did that," I mused. The mare climbed on top of me, laying belly to belly with me and grinned.

"I can't help but think that they did, Michael! That -- that was the best yet!" she giggled, kissing me softly on my lips. I continued to lay on my back and held her on top of me, returning her kisses.

"We'd better be careful about doing that, love -- it feels so good, but -- you know what I said about weakening it, right?"

"Mmmh, if you can't milk me, at least we can do that!" she giggled.

"Your milk turns me into a pony, girl!" I chuckled. "But it tastes sooo good!"

"That's probably why Discord likes it so much," she mused.

"I wouldn't blame him," I said as another knocking came at the front door. "Urrrgh, why can't anypony find a better time to come here?" I groaned. I gently lifted the milkmare off me, setting her on the floor. "Mmmh, I'll get it -- be right back, my love." I trudged to the front door and opened it to reveal a chubby dark blue unicorn mare with olive-drab mane and tail. I gave her a quizzical look.

"And you are --?" I asked. Upon noticing me, she shied back a little. I guess my imposing size intimidated her as her voice trembled a little when she announced who she was.

"I -- I am Slum Lord, the landlord for this building. Is -- is Milky Way here? I got a report from Duck Tape that this apartment was in shambles," she stated.

"Come in, come in -- I think you'll find everything in order, Miss Lord," I replied warmly. The mare entered the apartment and looked around, harrumphing loudly.

"So he lied to me. Milky Way, are you in here?"

The milkmare trotted into the front room, a sheepish grin on her face. "Slum Lord! What a pleasant surprise! I trust everything is going well with you, yes?"

"Other than the fact my dinner was interrupted by the superintendent, I believe it is. Do you have this month's rent?"

"Michael, would you be kind enough to get it for me?"

"Of course, my love," I replied as I trudged back to the bedroom and dug through the sack of bits and fished out fifty of the largest coins and brought them into the front room.

"But, you know of Rarity, yes?" asked the milkmare.

"Well -- I've heard she runs a boutique in Ponyville -- and that her fashions are quite well-known in Canterlot -- you mean to tell me she came all the way over here to settle a vendetta against you?"

"She tried to kill my stallion!" she exclaimed, eliciting a gasp of shock from the landlord.

"Umm, I think this might be enough," I said as I showed the coins to the milkmare. The landlord's eyes went wide with surprise upon seeing the coins.

"Those -- those are hundred bit coins! And -- how many of those do you have?" Slum Lord asked in astonishment. "Where did you get those?"

"I have a new buyer for my milk -- he pays me quite generously," the milkmare grinned.

"I believe five of these would serve as this month's rent," I mused as I counted them out.

"Perhaps I'm not charging enough," the mare mused, a sly grin on her face. "When you signed your lease, there was only one name on it. Who is this -- this -- what are you?" she asked me.

"My name's Michael, Miss Lord, and I am a human -- and I think it's wrong of you to arbitrarily charge her more just because I showed up here earlier today," I responded in annoyance.

"Milky Way, I suggest you adhere to the terms of your lease," the landlord stated as she chose to ignore me.

"Ugh! This apartment is expensive enough as it is! I don't want to have to move -- how much more?"

"Hmm. Double occupancy means double the rent, Miss Milky Way," the mare chuckled, eliciting a cry of shock from the milkmare. "That, or I can find another tenant."

"My love, is there not a tenant's union around here? This is grossly unfair," I stated angrily.

"It would appear to me that you have plenty of money to pay double the rent -- your 'stallion' showed me what looked like five thousand bits in his -- his -- hoof? I am within my rights as a landlord to charge prevailing market rates for rent -- I've been going easy on you, Milky Way. Even a thousand bits per month is still cheap for this location."

"We could always move to Ponyville, my love," I offered, flashing the milkmare a grin.

"But -- Rarity! She's still out there!"

"And she's still thinking that we're here, not in Ponyville," I replied. "If nothing else, there's always Hoofington, that's not too far away from here."

"Mmmmh, I've, uhhhh, got a bit of a, shall we say, reputation in Hoofington?" she responded, giving me another sheepish grin and blushing lightly. "That's why I moved here -- to get away from the small-town gossip."

"Well, how about Baltimare? That's a pretty decent sized city," I mused.

"Michael! Do you know how high the rent is over there?"

"Yes, I do," Slum Lord chuckled. "Even the least expensive apartments run about 2500 bits per month!"

"Okay, you've made your point. Michael, just give her the money," Milky Way said sullenly.

I plucked out five more coins and gave them to the unicorn mare, who grinned wickedly at me. "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into by being with her," she added, winking slyly at me as she left. "I'm going to stop by Duck Tape's place and give him a piece of my mind." She closed the door and trotted down the stairs. I locked the door behind her and returned to the bedroom.

"How much do we have left in that bag?" asked the flustered milkmare. I grabbed the bag and emptied it on the floor and we began counting. As the count passed ten thousand, she giggled and kissed me again. "I should give Discord a great big thank you!"

"No need, my dear -- more of your milk will suffice," he offered as he materialized in the room again before milking the mare dry yet again.

"Discord, would you at least be kind enough to leave some for me?" I asked in exasperation.

"You said it turns you into a pony -- do you really want that?"

"Well -- uhhh -- I'm gonna need some time to think about that," I replied, my face a mask of indecision.

"Michael! I want you to stay a human for me!" the milkmare exclaimed pointedly.

"Looks like we have a bit of a Catch-22 -- you need me in my human form to milk you properly, but doing so turns me into a pony. As a pony, I can't milk you the way you like," I mused. "But if Discord keeps taking all your milk, I can't even milk you as a human."

"Mmmh, who says you need to take my milk, Michael? You could always suckle on my teats and not worry about taking milk," she opined, a big grin on her face.

"But -- wouldn't that hurt you?" I asked.

"Well -- I dunno -- but we could always try," she chuckled.

"Milky Way, my dear -- here's some more money for you in exchange for your milk. If I need more, I'll be back," the chaos entity declared before disappearing as suddenly as he appeared, leaving behind another large sack of bits.

"Uh, thanks, Discord," she called after him. "Michael, it's getting late -- care to sleep with me?" she grinned, blushing lightly.

"I thought you'd never ask," I replied nonchalantly as I removed the bedcover from the suitcase and laid it on the bed, followed shortly by the pillow, which I placed next to the one already on the bed. Noting that I was still naked, I pulled back the cover and laid down in her bed, amazed by its softness. "What is this bed made of?" I asked.

"Slum Lord assured me it's made of solidified cloud," she replied softly as she climbed in next to me. "Mmmh, give me a good-night kiss, my love," she cooed as she leaned over to me. I leaned towards her and held her close to me again, lightly kissing her on her lips.

"Nighty-night, lovergirl," I said softly, lightly giggling as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Mmmh, I love you, Michael," she sighed contentedly as she curled up against me. Her bed was too short for me, so I had to curl up around her. She was small enough that when curled up against me, her head rested against the top of my chest and her hindquarters brushed against the tops of my thighs. Her tail would lightly swish and sway as she dreamed, though the smile on her face told me all I needed to know. It took me awhile to drift off to sleep despite the comfort the bed provided. My mind raced as I contemplated all the activity of the past couple of days before fatigue finally overtook me and I lost consciousness.

Moving a Building

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 9

The morning light shining through the window woke me, though I was quite surprised to find myself sandwiched between two mares -- Milky Way was still curled against me to my right, but another mare had silently made her way into the bed and had draped her right foreleg over my belly. As I opened my eyes and allowed them to adjust to the light level, I noticed the foreleg belonged to a certain fashionista, causing me to open my eyes wide in surprise. I turned over to see Rarity with a big smile on her face, her left foreleg sandwiched between her haunches.

You'd better be very careful now, Michael, I thought to myself as I fought back the temptation to stroke the alabaster mare along her barrel. My love shifted uncomfortably against me and woke up to see Rarity in her bed along with me.

"Mmmh, Michael -- what is she doing in my bed?" the milkmare asked sternly.

"Mmmh, darling -- let me boku-maru with you again," she cooed softly, though her eyes remained closed.

"Milky Way, my love -- I have no idea how she got in here last night. Last thing I remember was laying next to you and holding you close against me," I stated firmly, fixing the fashionista with my harshest glare. I put my hand on her shoulder and shoved her back and forth to wake her.

"Michael, darling, what a surprise! I was dreaming about you," she declared in a sultry tone, batting her eyes at me. She appeared to have aged further still, the lines and creases deeper than before, her make-up very badly smeared on her face, her horn still gone and her mane and tail still disheveled from yesterday's fracas.

"Rarity! I thought I told you to get out of my apartment!" the milkmare exclaimed in exasperation.

"Milky Way, daaaaar-ling, I have no idea how I got in here last night -- last thing I remember was laying on the cold hard cot of my prison cell -- or was I in my boudoir? I don't remember," she mused. "Perhaps that nice draconequus brought me here?"

"DISCORD!" Milky Way and I both shouted in unison. He materialized less than a second after we called him.

"You rang?" he asked in his deepest voice, a pale imitation of Lurch. He chuckled after that.

"Did you bring Rarity in here last night?" I asked pointedly, staring firmly at him.

"Mmmmmmmaybe," he grinned. "So what if I did?"

"Are you trying to stir up trouble between my love and I?" I asked sternly. Said mare clung to me, ensuring that Rarity would see us. The fashionista sneered and scoffed at this sight.

"Considering Michael asked Rarity to marry him, I thought I'd see what would happen if he woke up and was forced to decide between the two of you," the chaos entity mused.

"Discord! That was before I found out that Rarity is a serial murderer!" I exclaimed indignantly. "Why isn't she in jail?!"

"Celly and I had a long discussion with Little Miss Murderer here, and we came to an agreement -- Rarity would be allowed to remain free until her trial, with the proviso that she not cause any more trouble or kill any more ponies -- and she will not be allowed to use her magic. As you can see, she's not very efficient without it," he chuckled as he pointed his eagle claw at the fashionista's clumsy attempt to put make-up on her face by hoof.

"That's beside the point, Discord -- she's not supposed to be in HERE, considering how much damage she did yesterday -- you saw it firsthoof, y' know," I retorted.

"Michael, darling, please forgive me! If you give me another chance --"

"You're not getting any more chances from me, Miss Rarity -- I need some clothes, but I'd rather go around naked than risk my life in your boutique again. By the way, has your sister recovered?"

"She's still upset with you, darling -- but Michael! You promised!"

"You must be mistaken, Rarity -- YOU were the one who promised, and you broke your Pinkie Promise to me. I'm surprised Pinkie hasn't shown up yet to rebuke you for doing that," I opined.

"Oh, just you wait, Michael -- Pinkie Pie's waiting for her when she gets back to Ponyville," the draconequus grinned. "You think she had it tough when she was in jail? That's nothing compared to what Pinkie's going to do."

"Discord, would you be kind enough to take her back to her boutique so we can have some breakfast?" I asked. "I don't wanna see her around here again, please."

"Admit it, Michael -- you liked having her against your back, yes?"

"I'd rather that not happen again -- Milky Way is my mare, not Rarity. Don't make me repeat myself, please," I replied, anger working its way into my tone.

"I will -- but first, I need some more milk," he chuckled as he magically drained the milkmare again.

"Discord, darling, please let me have some," the fashionista begged, batting her eyes at the draconequus and giving him her very best puppy-dog eyes look. He placed a little into a small cup and allowed her to sip on it. "Mmmmh, very tasty! Milky Way, your milk is the best!" she exclaimed as the chaos entity teleported himself and the mare back to -- wherever it was they came from.

"Did he take all your milk again?" I asked as exasperation took control again.

"Mmmh, not quite -- there's still a little left for you," she replied softly. That was all the incentive I needed as I laid on the floor again, eagerly awaiting the milkmare's attention. She sighed softly as she trotted slowly to me and straddled my head with her teats again, though they did not rest against my head. I took the one to my right and began lightly suckling on it and squeezing it with my hands. The milk did not flow anywhere near as heavily as it did the first few times I did this, but the effect of sucking on her teats was enough to cause her to moan deeply in pleasure.

"Mmmh, that feels good, Michael -- you're getting good at this!" she giggled, gasping and moaning between words as my efforts were beginning to have the desired effect on her. "Mmmh, I may not have much milk, but -- ooooooh! You -- you know -- how to -- do that!" she moaned as her body began to tense up in anticipation of her coming climax. She noticed my manhood standing at attention again and gently enveloped it in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and flicking the tip of her tongue against the tip of my member, causing me to stiffen my body up very quickly.

"Ooooh, ssshhhit, Milky! Mmmph! Unh! Damn, girl, you're good at that!" I grunted, causing her to giggle as she continued her ministrations. Her teeth lightly grazed my shaft, causing some pain. "Ow, careful with your teeth there, girl," I complained.

She let my dick pop out of her mouth and apologized to me, her ears lowered a little. "Uh, I didn't know it was that sensitive," she offered softly.

"It's every bit as sensitive as your clit, my love -- and I hope to give your little love button a light nibbling pretty soon here," I chuckled.

"Mmmmh, why not do that now?" she asked, flashing me a sultry grin.

"Yeahhhh," I grunted in reply as I sat up and grabbed her flanks with my hands, holding them firmly as I plied them apart to reveal her dark golden lotus. I leaned forward and licked her pussy lips, sliding my tongue between them, eliciting a moan from the mare, though she was careful enough to avoid brushing my glans with her teeth again. I bobbed my head back and forth, lightly nipping at her clit, which I probably should have waited to do. Her cry of surprise also resulted in her teeth hitting my member again, causing me to cry out in pain.

"AAAAH! What did I tell you about your teeth?" I asked sharply. Once again, she allowed my penis to slide out of her mouth, but now noticed it was bleeding from where her teeth had bit into it.

"AAAH! Sorry about that! Oh, Michael, please forgive me," she nearly wailed as she turned around and hugged me tightly, burying her head in my chest. I held her close with my left hand and lightly stroked her mane with my right.

"Girl, I'm sorry to have worried you like that -- it hurts, but it'll be okay in a few days -- maybe sooner if your milk works like it did earlier -- of course I forgive you, my love -- I love you too much not to," I cooed softly to her as I lifted her chin with my left hand so she could look into my eyes. Tears trickled from the corners of her eyes, though she gave me a hopeful look. I responded by giving her a soft kiss on the lips. "I mean it, girl -- I love you," I averred softly.

"I promise I'll be more careful next time -- what you were doing felt so good -- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bite down on it," she offered as she apologized to me again.

"That was my fault anyway -- I shouldn't have done that while you were, uhhh, sucking my dick," I said, grinning sheepishly.

"There will be more sucking your dick later, loverboy!" she giggled. "Did you get enough milk?"

"If I turn back into a unicorn stallion, you'll know the answer to that question," I chuckled. "I hope you won't be too disappointed in me if I do."

"Mmmh, Michael, I'll love you no matter what you look like," she grinned as she hugged me tight and kissed me on my lips. I returned her hug, gazing into her eyes and kissed her again.

"So, what are we doing today, love? Weren't you offering me a tour of the town?" I asked. I felt my body beginning the transformation process again, but this time there was no stomach ache or other discomfort. The milkmare watched in stunned surprise as my body changed back into that of the purple unicorn stallion I had turned into yesterday.

"Michael -- you've turned into a stallion again -- mmmh, you look good like that," she mused. I trotted to a mirror to see myself, but noticed I still didn't have a cutie mark.

"I wouldn't be surprised if my cutie mark turns out to be my favorite number," I declared as I examined myself further. "Hey, Milky Way, what do you think of the name Amethyst Flame?"

"Uh, is that what you want to be called when you're a pony?"

"Yeah, why not? Is that an okay name?"

"I think it suits you perfectly -- you said a number for a cutie mark? Why?"

"Well, from what I've heard about cutie marks, they represent a special talent or something else, but -- I know it sounds trite, but I have identified with a particular number for more than 30 years -- it's my favorite number and has been for that long -- I consider it the luckiest of numbers, as well as the most sacred and holy," I explained.

"But -- a number? Really? That doesn't make any sense, Michael --" she said, though she cut herself off when she saw a bright yellow number 17 appear on my flanks. "That -- oh, Michael, I'm so sorry. Do you have any idea of what we ponies think about numbers for cutie marks?"

"Not really, no, my love," I replied.

"If a pony receives a number as his or her cutie mark, it's because he or she doesn't have a special ability which sets them apart from other ponies. Whichever number becomes a cutie mark bears some significance, but I don't know what yours means. Maybe Princess Celestia might know. We ponies don't think much of those who only have numbers for their cutie marks -- but -- because I love you so much, I don't care what you have for a cutie mark."

"I was thinking it referred to the number of special talents I have -- I didn't specialize in any one field of study, but rather tried to master as many as I could -- and perhaps the number represents the ultimate number of disciplines I will eventually master," I opined. "Of course, it helps that it's my favorite number as well. I shall wear it as a badge of honor."

"So, Amethyst Flame, eh? Cute name, I like it! I will be honored to show you around Trottingham!" she giggled.

"I'd like to freshen up first, if you don't mind," I offered. "I haven't had a good shower since yesterday morning and all the activity we've done has probably made me sweaty and stinky."

"Mmmh, care to let me join you in the shower?" she asked, flashing an impish grin.

"I thought you'd never ask," I chuckled as I trotted to her bathroom.

The milkmare's bathroom was somewhat disorganized, but I managed to find a face towel, a bottle of shampoo, a loofah and a couple of brushes. I turned on the water, letting it warm up before I got into the tub and turned the knob to let the water flow from the shower head, the warmth of the water running through my mane and tail feeling quite nice. The milkmare watched this activity before she got in behind me, giggling a little.

"Here, let me soap you up, big boy!" she giggled as she squirted a glop of shampoo onto my back and worked it up into a nice rich lather. The sensation of her hooves on my back felt very unusual -- but in a good way. There was a part of me that wanted her to scratch my back, though her hooves seemed to be doing a half-way decent job of that. I silently lamented the fact that I was back in a pony's body and could not soap up the mare as well as I wanted to as I allowed her t continue washing me. She lavished attention to my glans and gave it a thorough cleaning.

"Now soap me up!" she giggled as she turned for me. I found that using a combination of magic along with running my hooves through her mane, coat, and tail worked up a heavy lather. She cooed and moaned loudly in response to my touch as I washed her, the the sounds coming from her mouth were beginning to arouse me. I reared up on my hind legs and rested my belly on her back, thankful for the fact that as a pony I weighed about half as much as I did as a human. "Oooh, you wanna do that, huh?" she grinned.

"Yeah, I do," I chuckled, noticing my stallionhood had reached full tumescence while I was on her back. I lowered myself a little to place it between her haunches, gently maneuvering it to her slot. Ever so slowly I pushed it in, gauging her reaction.

"Mmmmh, that feels good, Amethyst!" she cooed as I inched it in further, going past the medial ring. The tightness of her pussy was intense, giving me stimulation as I pushed in further. Her cooing and moaning increased in volume as I finally reached full insertion and began thrusting lightly back and forth.

"Aaaah, mmmmh, oooooh, yesss, keep going! Faster! Harder! Stop teasing me!" she uttered, gasping for breath between each word. At her insistence, I began thrusting harder and faster, my glans sliding in her slick love tunnel. I laid my belly on her back and gave a light nip to her left ear, causing her to squeak in pleasure. I grunted with my exertions as her pussy muscles contracted in rippling waves on my member, making it a bit more difficult to move. As she held me inside her, I rested and stopped thrusting.

"Mmmmh, come on, lover, keep going!" she cooed. I felt her muscles relax and began thrusting again, this time even faster and harder than before. I could sense her body beginning to tense up as her pleasure built as I grunted in approval. My body likewise began to stiffen as I felt every square inch of the interior of her lotus. I was getting close and sped up my movements even further.

"AAAAH! YESSS!" she hissed as she clamped her muscles on my glans, her body shaking and shuddering as she surrendered to her passion.

"UNNNH! CUMMING!" I shouted as my body jerked and spasmed in response to my pleasure center being shifted into overdrive, my thrusting coming in irregular shakes, my breathing ragged. I felt my jizz spurting inside her and silently worried about getting her pregnant, hoping that maybe it wouldn't happen.

"Mmmmh, that -- oh, Amethyst!" she cooed.

"Mmmh, let's finish washing off, my love," I responded, giving her a quick kiss on her lips.

We toweled off after rinsing out all the shampoo and brushed our teeth, though I had used my magic to fashion my favorite toothbrush from an old one the milkmare hadn't thrown away yet.

"What? What kind of toothbrush is that?" she asked in astonishment.

"This is basically a copy of what I used to use as a human back in my homeworld. This little button here turns the brush on, causing it to vibrate. The cross-stitch bristles clean between teeth better than a standard toothbrush, with the vibrating bristles working loose any food particles trapped between my teeth. You want me to change yours into a copy of mine? I'll make yours yellow to match your coat color, and mine'll be purple," I replied. She nodded her head vigorously, smiling at me as I transformed her toothbrush into a yellow copy of my purple one. After we brushed our teeth, we brushed out our manes and tails, though I used my magic to help her with her mane.

"I like the way you wear your mane and tail -- where have I seen that style before?" she puzzled.

"You know of Zecora?" I asked, grinning at her compliment.

"I've heard of her -- my cousin told me of a mysterious zebra who ventured into Ponyville before being chased out of town -- I was later told that her name is Zecora, though I've not met her yet."

"I've heard she talks in rhymes, but I haven't met her, either. There are quite a few ponies I would like to meet, but that can wait until the next time we visit Ponyville. I'm content to stay here in Trottingham with you, my love," I offered, smiling warmly at the milkmare.

"Oooh, Amethyst! You say the nicest things!" she chirped as she glomped me and kissed me on my lips. "Maybe we can get married if you stay a pony!"

"I wonder if Princess Celestia might allow it, but if not, it doesn't matter -- I will stay with you forever, love," I cooed softly to her. I saw tears of joy well up in her eyes as her embrace tightened. She kissed me with a ferocious passion I hadn't experienced before.

"Make my heart melt, my love," she whispered in my ear. We remained in our embrace for a few minutes longer, savoring the feeling of love which flowed deeply between us.

"Mmmh, would you like to boku-maru again, my love?" I asked, flashing a grin.

"Ooooh, I thought you'd never ask!" she giggled, then lay on the floor for me. I took a moment to stare at her teats before laying on the floor myself, lightly touching my hind hooves to hers. The sensation seemed to be even more intense this time than last as we allowed the energy to bring us to climax again, both of us gasping and panting for breath.

"Mmmh, I seriously wonder how many ponies in Ponyville are doing this," I mused pensively.

"Don't let that bother you, Amethyst -- hey, let's get something to eat -- I know a great place not far from here! Get about 200 bits from the bag, we can splurge a little," she declared.

"That sounds like a good idea, Milky -- hang on a sec," I responded as I trotted to the room and fetched a small pouch of coin from the bag. There was a mix of different sized coins, which I showed the milkmare.

"You've gotten about 500 bits there, Amethyst -- I guess that's okay. I trust there's still quite a lot left?"

"This is just a small pick -- the bag's still quite full, looks like a lot left."

"I'll just put this in my saddlebags -- you should wear a set of saddlebags as well, Amethyst -- you never know when something you need will be available," she opined.

"Do you have a spare set? Or should I fashion some from something else?" I asked.

"Wait a minute," she said as she trotted to her room and fetched an ugly old brown uniform she no longer wore. "See what you can do with this," she offered, showing me the old uniform.

"What happened to it -- did it get muddy or what?" I asked as I took it in my aura and examined it.

"It's a color I don't like --" she began as she watched me transform it into a set of saddlebags that were a couple of shades lighter than my coat color and emblazoned with a bright gold version of my cutie mark. I placed them on my back. "Wow, I had no idea you were that talented with your magic!"

"All it takes is a little concentration and an idea of what you want -- seems simple enough," I replied confidently as I trotted to the front door of the apartment. The milkmare followed me, though I felt the weight of her eyes on my hindquarters. I turned my head slightly to glance in her direction and caught her staring at my flanks, flashing her a smile. "Two can play at that game, my love," I chuckled. She blushed in embarrassment at having been caught.

"Sorry about that -- but you already did that to me!" she protested weakly and giggled.

"Mmmh, let's get going, okay?" I half-asked, half-said as I opened the front door. I was about to take the first couple of steps into the hallway, but stopped short when I saw Princess Celestia standing at the door, her right forehoof raised as she was about to knock on the door.

"And you are --?" she asked quizzically, as she had not seen me in my pony form yet.

"Amethyst Flame, your Majesty -- but you're probably more familiar with me as Michael Walker. Milky Way's milk did this to me, I hope you're not too upset about that," I stated reverently.

"I find it difficult to believe that the simple consumption of milk would lead to a complete transformation," the alicorn opined almost querulously. She took a moment to inspect my body, including pushing her muzzle between my haunches, then licking my sheath.

"Princess Celestia! Please!" I exclaimed in surprise, eliciting light giggling from the Solar Princess. Milky Way gave her a curious glance.

"Your Highness, must you do that to my stallion?" the milkmare asked in annoyance.

"You are indeed a stallion, Amethyst -- but -- you carry the number 17 as a cutie mark? How interesting," she mused. She completely ignored my love's pertinent question as she sized me up.

"I was hoping you might be able to shed some light on that particular number," I requested.

"Hmmm. I haven't seen a pony with a number for a cutie mark in a very long time. The number 17 portends great potential, but also great risk. Consider it a blessing if you aspire to greatness, a curse if you choose to follow a darker path. I will have to keep a close watch on you to ensure you do not allow yourself to succumb to the temptations the dark side may present to you."

"I will do my best to be honorable, your Majesty -- but pray tell, how is Twilight doing? I'm kind of curious to know," I mused. The milkmare glowered at me before speaking her mind.

"I would hope you would choose to think about me, since I am your mare -- why are you so concerned about Twilight? What is she to you?"

"My love, I consider her a close friend and I half-way worry about her some times," I replied.

"She can take care of herself, Amethyst. You need not concern yourself with another mare when you have me," the milkmare stated firmly.

"Twilight and Trixie are doing fine, Amethyst -- but they engage in boku-maru perhaps a little too often. I haven't received a friendship report from my student in more than a week and it's not like her to be tardy with those. Perhaps I should check on her again," the alicorn mused before teleporting away.

"... You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Milky Way asked, grinning broadly at me.

"It's called misdirection, my love -- let's get going, I'm hungry," I stated as I trotted towards the stairs, the milkmare closing and locking the door behind her. I stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down as she caught up to me and began making her way down. I tentatively took a step down and fell forward, rolling down the stairs and hitting the wall at the base of the landing. "Ouch! Damn!" I exclaimed in pain as I rubbed my horn with my right forehoof. I rose to my hooves and trotted to the next flight of stairs and gingerly took one small step at a time, being careful to keep my balance as I slowly descended. This time I didn't fall and by the time I made it to the bottom, I was taking the steps with confidence.

"Does it still hurt?" she asked in concern.

"I'm okay now, my love," I replied. I gave her a quick kiss on the lips before opening the front door of the apartment building at trotted towards the street as Milky Way closed and locked the building behind her. On a whim, I created a car key from a broken piece of metal I saw laying on the street and stuck it in the lock and turned it. A loud roaring noise which sounded like a car's engine starting up was heard.

"What's that?" the mare asked in shock.

"Take your key and open the door again," I chuckled.

"What for?" she asked.

"We're gonna drive the building around," I grinned.

"How do we do that?" she asked, but opened the door for me. I trotted in and beckoned her to follow me, then began the trek up the stairs again. The building continued to idle as we went upstairs to her apartment, then I trotted to a window of her apartment overlooking the street. Almost as if by magic, a car's steering wheel materialized at the window, along with foot pedals. The mare stood in stunned silence as I pushed my right hind hoof on the right pedal, the engine sounding as though it were revving up. I looked for a gear selector and noticed it to the right of the steering wheel. I moved it to what looked like the letter D as the building lurched violently forward, a loud screaming of various ponies being heard as the building left its foundation and began moving down the street.

"What -- how is this even possible?" asked Milky Way as she watched us move the building around.

"I heard about this and wondered if it might work," I mused in response, but then heard a wailing siren from somewhere. I noticed what appeared to be a police officer trying to pull us over, so I slowed the building down and brought it to a stop. The policepony trotted up and looked up at me.

"Hey! Where do you live?!" he asked, practically shouting the question at me.

I looked down at him and shouted back, "Right here!"

The policepony grumbled something and trotted off, perhaps back to his station.

"Come on, love, let's see where we are," I offered, then made my way back to the stairs, the milkmare repeating the earlier process of closing and locking the apartment door behind her. As we made it to the street, a line of ponies had formed on the street in front of the building. They seemed to be quite angry at having their progress stopped, but my anger was just as evident. "Get the Hell out of my driveway!" I exclaimed indignantly, causing them to whinny and neigh in protest, but they dispersed and found another way to get where they were going.

"Umm, Amethyst, are you going to put the building back where we came from?" asked a perplexed milkmare, giving me a very puzzled look.

"Naaah, it'll be fine right here," I replied nonchalantly. "Most likely, nopony will notice the building's been moved anyway -- everypony who lives in your building is insane. Didn't you say the stallion who lives below you designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats? And that the mare who lives a few doors down from you tried to rob a department store with a pricing gun?"

"Oh, yeah -- that's right," the mare giggled. "'Give me all the money in the vault, or I'll mark down everything in the store!' she said!"

"I'd be tempted to ask if your landlord allows pets in the building, but that might be asking a bit much," I opined. "Let's get going, we've messed around long enough." I trotted around the other side of the building and saw the path that it had left behind -- apparently, driving the building around caused a lot of damage to other structures, tearing up the road, uprooting a number of trees, and polluted a pond. I shuddered at the sight of the swath of destruction before trotting back around to the front of the building.

"Why did you go around the back?" she asked.

"Ummm ... you don't wanna know," I replied nervously. She began to trot towards the back of the building at this point. "Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you," I advised.

"I want to see what has you so spooked," she opined as she continued to trot to the back -- and as soon as she saw the damage done, she quick-cantered back to the front. "I hope we don't get into trouble for that," she said with more than a hint of apprehension. "Uhh, let me show you more of Trottingham," she offered, grinning sheepishly.

Indigestion at the Sign of the Goode Eats

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 10

Princess Celestia teleported to the Golden Oaks Library and knocked on the front door. Normally she would simply teleport inside, but she was trying to be considerate towards her student. She waited patiently, then knocked again only to receive no answer. After another few minutes of waiting, she decided to enter the library and find out what was going on. Upon entering, she heard moans of pleasure coupled with the sound of ponies gasping for breath, sounds which caused the alicorn to tilt her head in an attempt to discern with greater accuracy the source of the noises.

These sounds seemed to be coming from the upstairs area, so she trotted upstairs slowly, listening carefuly to Twilight and Trixie engaging in some activity. She reached the door the sounds seemed to be coming from and opened it carefully to reveal the two mares laying on the floor, their hind hooves touching, their eyes clenched shut, their mouths wide open as they moaned and huffed and gasped and panted as their pleasure took control of their bodies.

"Ahem, Twilight, my faithful student," the alicorn began, giving said mare a stern glare.

"Mmmmh, Trixie, did you hear somepony?" the librarian asked, her eyes still clenched shut.

"Mmmh, Trixie thinks she did -- but Trixie does not care," the show-mare replied, likewise lost in bliss.

The Solar Princess decided on another tactic. Using her magic, she created a bucket of cold water and dumped it on both mares, who quickly rose to their hooves and shook out the water, sputtering almost in rage.

"Whoever did that is a dead pony," Twilight growled before turning her gaze on her mentor. Her eyes went wide as saucers, her pupils diminishing to pinpricks, her ears laying flat against her head. "Princess Celestia! I am so sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I was wondering what it was going to take to get you two to notice me," the alicorn mused, chuckling softly. "I know you didn't mean what you said -- had I been in a similar situation, I too probably would have been upset enough to flay the offending pony alive."

"So, Princess, what brings you here?" Twilight asked, grinning sheepishly.

"I've been wondering what's been happening around here during the past several days -- I haven't received a friendship report lately."

"Um, well -- nothing special's been happening around here -- and there hasn't been anything to report on, so -- when there is, I'll be sure to send you a report!" the lavender mare chirped, offering a big toothy grin. "Now, if you don't mind, Princess, Trixie and I have some important research to get caught up on. Isn't that right, Trixie?"

"Sparkle speaks truth, your Highness -- Trixie wishes to return to her previous activity of helping Sparkle do more research," the show-mare offered, her grin matching that of Twilight's.

"... That did not look like research to me -- in fact, it looked like you two were engaged in boku-maru," the alicorn noted dryly. "There's been quite a bit of that going on around here and it troubles me deeply. Twilight, I hope you send me a friendship report soon. I will give you another week and if I don't hear back from you by then -- I may have to take stronger measures." With that, the alicorn teleported back to Canterlot.

"Yes, Princess, I'll get right on it," Twilight offered, beaming a big smile before turning her attention back to the show-mare. "So, Trixie, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted?" the librarian grinned. The show-mare blushed and giggled in response before being tackled playfully by her new lover.

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"I figured it would be a good idea for us to start from my shop," Milky Way opined as we reached the front door. Another line of ponies stood in front, waiting for the milkmare to arrive and open the shop as I stood by the front door, glaring at the ponies with a stern expression.

"One at a time, if you remember correctly," I stated firmly. "The price has gone up a little as well -- twenty bits per quart," I added.

"Hey, Milky Way! Why did you raise your prices?" asked one of the ponies.

"Umm, it wasn't my idea! Ask him!" she replied, pointing her left forehoof at me. The pony turned to me quizzically.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am Amethyst Flame, business associate of Miss Milky Way. I advised her that her price of ten bits per quart was too low, given the high quality of her milk," I replied firmly, maintaining my stern expression.

"He has a number for his cutie mark!" observed a stallion in the line. The others in line peered at me and began chatting with each other, talking about me in a derogatory tone. I lit my horn, the aura a pale yellow as I created a pyrotechnic display about two hundred feet above them. The firework had the desired effect of wowing them.

"Don't talk about that any more," I growled. A pegasus mare flew down to meet me, her face a mask of anger.

"Did you just send up that firework?" she asked. She rubbed her eyes with her left forehoof as tears streamed from them. Part of her pale green coat had been singed.

"I'm terribly sorry about that, ma'am," I offered. I lit my horn again and healed her as best I could.

"Oooh, that felt nice," she replied softly. "I didn't know you were so talented! Who are you?"

"Amethyst Flame, ma'am. I'll try to be a little more careful next time I light fireworks," I replied. "Now, anypony wanting to buy milk at twenty bits per quart, you may enter one at a time," I stated loudly as I addressed the line of ponies who still remained. I allowed each pony to enter, then as each one left I let another enter. About an hour or so later, the nineteenth pony left the shop with two quarts of milk.

"I'm all out," Milky Way stated as she addressed the remaining ponies. "I'm sorry, everypony, but I have no more milk -- it's all gone." She hung the CLOSED sign on the inside of the door and locked up. She turned to me and smiled. "Okay, Amethyst, let's get going -- the restaurant we're going to is about a mile or so away from here."

I took my position to her left as we began trotting side by side. From her shop we trotted five blocks north, then turned left and trotted another five blocks, then turned right and trotted two more blocks before we reached our destination. We discussed future plans as we made our way there.

"Here we are, Amethyst -- the Mare's Tail Pub and Eatery," she announced.

"Truthfully, I have never eaten Equestrian food," I declared. I looked up at the sign but could not make out the lettering. "I'm going to have to ask you to read the menu to me."

"How is it that you can speak Equish but not know how to read it?" she asked, a deeply puzzled expression on her face.

"Because the language I grew up reading, writing, and speaking is called English -- I'm amazed that the spoken form is compatible with what you know -- so I'm gonna have to learn how to read and write Equish as soon as possible."

We trotted into the pub and I noticed that it looked remarkably similar to pubs I remembered from England -- tables and booths for patrons to sit at, as well as a bar. The barkeep was a burly mare, bright red with a striking silver and blue mane and tail. Her eyes were a deep blue, matching Milky Way's mane and tail and she noticed us immediately.

"Milky Way! Who's your stallion?" she asked. Half the patrons turned toward us and glanced our way before turning their attention back to whatever it was they were doing before the barkeep spoke.

The milkmare trotted up to the bar and I followed her. "His name's Amethyst Flame, Red Watney," she stated warmly.

"Nice to meet'cha, Amethyst," the barkeep smiled. "What'll ya have? First drink's on the house," she offered warmly.

"Mmmh, a nice strong cider would be good, I think," I replied.

"Excellent choice -- we have it on tap, nice and cold, too," she stated as she fetched a mug and poured it for me. I used my telekinesis to lift it to my lips and drunk heavily from it. The cider had the strong tang of alcohol and a very sweet taste to it.

"Mmmh, where do you get this? It's very good," I noted.

"I have a source in Ponyville who provides me with it," she replied confidently.

"Sounds like it might be Sweet Apple Acres cider," I mused.

"Indeed it is! You have good taste!" she chirped.

"Amethyst, I didn't know you drank," the milkmare half-asked.

"I scarcely ever touch alcohol, my love -- except on special occasions -- and usually no more than one drink every three to six months or longer," I explained. "Rest assured, this will be the only one for me for quite awhile."

"I don't mind you drinking, as long as it's in moderation," she responded.

"Um, did you just call her 'my love'?" the barkeep queried, peering at me again.

"Something wrong with that?" I asked, a hint of annoyance in my tone.

"Well -- I wish you luck with her," she replied, earning a sharp glare from the milkmare.

"Red, I hope you control your tongue," Milky Way advised firmly, her gaze hardening a little.

"Your stallion is quite handsome, Milky -- I wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with him myself!" the mare chortled, giving me a sultry look. "I'll give you another cider on the house," she grinned at me.

"Is she always this blunt?" I asked, addressing my love directly.

"She might be a little jealous that you're with me," she offered softly, still glaring at the barkeep.

"So, were you two wanting something to eat?" asked Red, still leering at me.

"... I think we might be looking for eats somewheres else," I replied, tilting my head a little as I gave my love a slightly questioning look.

"Amethyst, I'm sorry to have brought you here -- Red's usually a bit better behaved than this, but -- I think your striking appearance may have led her to act out more than usual," the milkmare opined.

"Milky Way, Amethyst -- please forgive me -- I meant no disrespect," the red mare offered, her ears lowered in an apologetic gesture. "Please, I'll even give you a discount on your food order!"

"Apology accepted, Red," I responded sincerely, earning a low growl from the milkmare.

"Amethyst, you are too quick to forgive -- she's only trying to get you to go with her!" the milkmare huffed almost angrily. I was taken aback to see my love acting this jealously and my expression of apprehension caused her to soften her attitude immediately. "Mmmh, Amethyst, I'm sorry -- it's just that -- she tried to hit on you!"

"Probably because stallions are outnumbered four to one in this world," I mused.

"Amethyst, I hope you'll have me as your only mare," she cautioned, still glaring at me.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be so possessive or jealous, Milky -- are you that afraid of losing me to another mare? Please, your beauty is incomparable, your personality and charm are undeniable -- you need not worry about me taking another mare as long as you love me," I offered warmly, giving her a sincere smile.

"Mmmh, I love it when you tell me that," she cooed. "There's another restaurant I'd like to take you to -- come on, Amethyst, let's go!" she exclaimed as she trotted quickly to the door. I quaffed the rest of the cider and used my telekinesis to levitate the empty mug back to the bar counter.

"Uh, thanks for the cider, Red -- maybe we might come back this way again sometime -- or maybe not," I stated as I was forcibly pulled out of the establishment by a very strong yellow foreleg.

"Amethyst, don't talk to her anymore! You're with me, so let's get going!" she implored as she trotted brusquely down the street. I nearly had to canter to keep up with her, though watching her teats sway back and forth from side to side entranced me. She turned her head to see me staring at them and huffed in annoyance. "Stop staring at my teats, Amethyst! You'll get a chance to milk me later!"

This mare is going to be trouble for you, I thought to myself as I silently followed her, listening to the clopping our hooves made on the street -- the rhythmic sounds soothed my nerves a little, though I tried to keep from pounding the street too heavily. She glanced over her left at me and smiled.

"Not too much further, Amethyst," she announced as we rounded another corner. I saw another sign hanging above a door about a block and a half away as the milkmare reduced her pace to a slow trot. "The Stallion's Retreat -- best alehouse in Trottingham," she said as she read the sign for me.

"What about the food quality? Have you eaten her enough to give me a good idea?" I asked.

"Yes, Amethyst -- I would not have led you here otherwise," she stated in a patronizing tone. I raised my eyebrows at her before furrowing my brow almost involuntarily. "Something troubling you, my love?"

"You're letting your dark side show," I opined almost petulantly, an admission which caused her eyes to widen. "There's a part of me that wonders what the rumors about you truly are -- and that regardless of how nicely a stallion tries to treat you or how much effort he puts forth to please you, you will not be satisfied by his attempts. I must admit that the woman I was married to, or perhaps still am married to treated me like that nearly all the time. She took my love for granted. I sincerely hope you won't treat me like that, lest you drive me away from you and into the hooves of another mare," I explained. She gave me a nervous look of anxiety, though I thought I saw tears beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes.

"Umm, Amethyst -- can we talk over a plate of food? I don't want everypony out here listening in on a private conversation," she stated, glancing around nervously and entered the pub. I followed her in and we trotted over to a booth, taking seats on opposite sides of the table. A pale blue stallion trotted over to us at this point.

"Welcome to the Stallion's Retreat -- would either of you like something to drink to start off with? Ah, Miss Milky Way! Such a pleasant surprise! Who is your companion?"

"I am Amethyst Flame, sir," I replied warmly.

"Interesting name -- do you specialize in gemstones or fire magic?"

"I have many talents, but nothing specific," I replied.

"Very well then. Something to drink while you peruse the menu?" he asked.

"Water's fine for me," I replied warmly, eliciting a gasp of shock from the milkmare.

"NO! Don't get him any water! Get him something else -- anything else -- but no water!" she exclaimed in a panicked tone.

"Our specialty ale is called Olde Frothingslosh, would you be interested?" he asked, flashing me a grin.

"I've heard of that -- the pale stale ale with the foam on the bottom -- sure, I'll have one," I replied. "Ach, mein gosh! Ist Frothingslosh!" I chuckled.

"So! You've seen the ads about it! Excellent! And for you, Miss Milky Way?"

"Mmmh, I'll have a glass of milk," she replied, eliciting a wide-eyed look of stunned surprise from me. My reaction caused her to giggle. "It's not my milk I'm drinking, silly!"

"That's not the point," I retorted as I folded my forehooves across my barrel, giving her a firm stare. I shifted my weight a little to try to find a slightly more comfortable position.

"Well, are you going to look at the menu?" she asked as she tried to change the subject. She unfolded her menu and began looking at it, though she held it directly in front of her face to hide it from me.

"I told you I can't read Equish, Milky," I replied as I opened my menu and looked at it, then turned it upside-down. I saw figures which looked like numbers on one side and organized characters on the other, which I surmised formed words constructed from the letters of the Equish alphabet. "Um, are there 26 characters in the Equish alphabet?" I asked.

"Yes! How did you know?" she asked as she set her menu down and smiled at me.

"My language also has 26 characters in its alphabet," I replied. "If I can match one with the other, I might be able to read Equish sooner than you think."

"Here you are, sir, your ale, and for you, ma'am, your milk," the stallion waiter chuckled. "Have you two decided on an entree or would you like an appetizer? Are you ready to order?"

I took the mug of ale, noting the foam at the bottom. I snorted in irony at the beverage before lifting the mug to my lips and sipping at it. The flavor was somewhat bitter, which caused me to frown. "Milky, I need your help," I stated flatly.

"Um, he can't read Equish," she nearly whispered to the waiter. He grinned broadly and began laughing at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I would stop laughing if I were you," I growled at him. "I'm still new here and it will take me a little time to learn how to read your language."

"Where are you from?" he asked, trying to control his laughter. "Why did Milky Way tell me not to get you any water?"

"Because you'd get to see me in my true form -- and you would most likely be quite shocked by the end result. That would also answer your question as to why I can't read Equish," I replied.

"Mmmh, I'll be right back," he stated before trotting away very quickly.

"Amethyst! Why did you tell him that?" the milkmare asked me in exasperation, adding a glare of disapproval as punctuation.

"Mmmh, my love -- perhaps it would be best if I were to remain a human," I mused pensively. I took another gulp of the ale, allowing it to sit in my mouth a little before swallowing it. The tang of the hops gave the ale a rather interesting aftertaste. I looked at the menu again, flipping it around in an attempt to make heads or tales of the printed words.

"That's him, Guinness," the waiter stated as another stallion approached, this one a very dark brown with a pale tan mane and tail. The waiter had a pitcher of water on a tray as well and poured a glass for me. "Amethyst, drink this -- I want to see what you're talking about."

The milkmare screamed in horror and leapt onto the table, knocking the tray and its contents to the floor. "What are you doing? Amethyst is my stallion! You shouldn't even think of trying to change him!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed in resignation before lighting my horn, the aura a pale pink and lifted the mare off the table, holding her in mid-air. "Milky, this is not the time or place to be making such a scene. Um, Guinness? I'm really sorry about this -- I had no idea she would do that." I looked at the tray on the floor, but noticed the pitcher still had some water in it. I levitated it to my mouth and poured some of the water from the pitcher into my open mouth and swallowed. I put the milkmare back on the floor, though I also noticed her begin to cry as I curled up in pain, the water having the effect of transforming me back into my human form. I writhed on the floor, moaning and grimacing as the pain intensified, a trickle of blood leaving the corner of my mouth.

"Give me some room!" Milky Way shouted as she strode over to me. "Michael! Why?"

I turned over to look at her, though a smile graced my lips. "Sometimes certain things need to be done," I replied, my voice rather hoarse. "Let me have some more ale," I croaked a little louder.

"Hmph. What you really need is some more of my milk," the mare snorted derisively as she straddled my head again, her teats nearly drooping to my face. Initially I was tempted to refuse her offer, but my state of nudity and my exposed penis was enough for her to wrap her mouth around it again.

"Um, are you really gonna do that in here?" I asked incredulously as she began licking and sucking on it. She spat it out before answering me.

"Yeah, if you're willing to milk me again," she giggled. I heaved another sigh of resignation as I took the one to my right and began sucking on it and squeezing the milk out of it, the flavor not as sweet as before. I switched between her teats and drank as much as I could, amazed by the swiftness of the transformation back into my stallion self again. Upon seeing the changes take place, many of the patrons expressed deep astonishment and gawped at me.

I rose to my hooves after the milkmare finished bringing me to climax -- I suspect she enjoyed the taste of my semen or something -- and addressed the ponies.

"Amazing, isn't it?" I asked them. They nodded their heads in response.

"Who are you? What was that -- creature -- you were before you turned back into a pony?" asked Guinness.

"That was my human form -- I actually came from a world of humans, but discovered that Milky Way's milk can transform me into a pony. My human name is Michael, but as a pony, I go by the name of Amethyst Flame. My home world has a language that, in spoken form, is understandable to yours -- but in printed form, Equish is as alien to me as hieroglyphics," I explained.

"What's that?" asked another pony.

"An ancient language made up of pictures back in my home world. There is one aspect of Equish in common with my language -- the fact that your language has 26 characters in its alphabet is an interesting corrolary to mine."

The front door of the pub opened to reveal a certain alabaster mare with a purple mane and tail, her three diamond cutie mark giving her away. Her appearance had deteriorated further, her make-up smeared very badly, her coat noticeably dirty and her horn still gone. "Mmmh, darling! Wait -- where's Michael? I was under the impression he was here," she stated. "Discord told me he was here! But -- I don't see him," she mused aloud. Everypony in the pub remained silent as they gaped at the distraught mare.

"You missed him by about half an hour," I replied loudly, the milkmare shushing me harshly.

"Hmm. You're quite handsome! Who might you be, darling?"

"Grape Jelly, but that's not important. Don't you have somewhere you should be going? You're interrupting an important discussion," I stated flatly.

"Grape Jelly? What kind of a name is that, darling? I would certainly hope you choose something more appropriate for your rather dapper and dashing appearance! Something on the order of, say, Amethyst Flame, or something like that!" she chortled. "Hmmm! How about a little boku-maru?" she added, grinning slyly at me. Her smeared make-up and dirty coat caused me to wrinkle my muzzle at her.

"Um, no -- and what's happened to you? Why are you so dirty?" I asked, the milkmare glowering at me again.

"Mmh, darling, it gets dirty out there when I boku-maru with so many ponies! I thought you'd be willing to do it with me, since you're so handsome and all! Grape Jelly ... sounds delicious!"

I nearly blanched at her confession, astonished by the fact that she was going around and doing that with everypony she could. I took a moment to regain some composure before responding. "...I don't know who you are, but I think you'd better leave," I advised the fashionista, my gaze darkening at her.

"Very well then -- I shall seek out that human! And when I find him..." she offered darkly as she left the pub, letting the door slam shut behind her.

"Amethyst! What are we going to do about her?" the milkmare asked me, exasperation coloring her words again.

"I guess we're just going to have to endure her insanity, my love," I replied. My stomach growled loudly at this point, though I had thought consuming so much milk would have sated my appetite.

"Ah, so you're hungry! If you need help reading the menu, I'll be happy to assist," the stallion waiter offered warmly. The milkmare returned to her seat at the booth and I climbed back into my side, scoffing at the irony of the situation.

"Thanks for the offer, but my love can help me with that -- no offense, sir," I responded.

"None taken, Amethyst. Miss Milky Way, have you decided yet?"

"I'll have the grilled cheese platter, with the house salad and dressing," she replied warmly.

"Hmm, that sounds tasty -- I'll have the same thing," I offered. "How many grilled cheese sandwiches come with that platter?"

"Two for mares and three for stallions," he replied, smiling warmly. "Would you like another ale?"

"Yes, please -- it's a little bitter, but I'm used to that." My love gave me a worried look.

"Um, Amethyst, I thought you said you drank sparingly," she said.

"Well, it's just that I can't drink water -- um, do you have sarsaparilla here?" I asked the waiter.

"Ah, yes! Good choice! Ours is the best in Trottingham!" he stated proudly as he trotted back to the kitchen.

"I'm glad you chose that," the milkmare said softly, her smile returning. "Now, what were you saying earlier about your marriage?"

"What I was trying to tell you is that my wife treated me very badly, which was one of the reasons I wished to come here, to Equestria -- but I wasn't expecting to wake up laying next to Rarity, nor was I expecting to discover that she's a serial murderer," I replied matter-of-factly.

She flashed a look of concern. "Umm, if there's anything I say or do that makes you upset, please let me know. But -- I also beg you not to take advantage of my love for you -- you'd upset me if you did."

"You have my word on that, my love," I intoned softly, gazing into her emerald eyes again. The waiter returned with our salads and refilled Milky's glass with fresh milk and placed a cold glass of sarsaparilla in front of me.

"Your salads and your drinks -- I shall return shortly with your sandwiches," he announced before leaving again.

"Thanks," I said, addressing his retreating form. I watched in amazement as the milkmare lowered her head, her eyes closed and her forehooves brought together. I saw her mouth some words before she returned to face me, a sheepish grin on her face.

"Um, I hope you don't mind me praying before I eat," she offered, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Not at all, my love -- I hope you don't mind if I choose not to do so -- okay, sorry I said that," I said, noting her glare of disapproval when I mentioned not praying before eating. I took a sip from my glass before the milkmare cleared her throat at me.

"This isn't going to work if you're going to judge me by your standards, Milky Way," I declared, fixing her with a firm stare.

"You should at least have the common decency to respect the creator when it comes to eating your food and drinking your beverage," she noted in an almost condescending tone of voice. I raised my eyebrows again, then furrowed them again before narrowing my eyes at her, a frown making its way onto my face. "Um, does that mean you're upset with me?" she asked almost timidly, her ears lowered again. I simply nodded my head before drinking from my glass again, then taking a bite of my salad.

"This sarsaparilla's really good," I noted. "The salad's quite good as well. Thanks for bringing me here, Milky Way," I added.

"I'm glad you like it -- but I'd appreciate it if you'd --" she began before she stopped herself, noticing me glaring at her. "Umm, did I say something wrong? Why didn't you call me 'my love'?"

"Milky Way, I thought I told you not to judge me by your standards or hold me to them. Please don't be too upset if I don't call you what you want me to -- I hope I don't sound too vulgar if I tell you I can call you what I like whenever the mood suits me. I am my own pony and march to the beat of my own drummer -- I request you not try to change me into something I'm not -- that is, unless you want me to leave you for another mare. There's lots of them to choose from," I stated nonchalantly.

"But -- you told me how beautiful I am! Isn't that good enough for you?"

"Looks are important, Milky, but that's just what's on the outside. As I get to know you better, your personality is more important than your appearance. Be nice to me and I will love you even more," I replied warmly, flashing a smile.

"Mmmh, I'll do my best, Amethyst," she offered in response.

The waiter returned again, this time with two plates with grilled cheese sandwiches on them, along with a garnish of dandelion greens. "Your orders, sir and madam," he announced stiffly before leaving again. I took one of the sandwiches, which were still hot and blew on it before taking a bite.

"Mmm! Oh my gosh, this is wonderful! I've made grilled cheese sandwiches in my home world, but this! Whoa!" I exclaimed almost excitedly, earning a big grin from the milkmare.

"Good, huh?" she giggled.

"That's an understatement, Milky! They even knew to blacken the bread for me!"

"Then you can have mine -- I don't like burnt bread. Waiter! Bring me two more sandwiches, and don't burn the bread this time!" she shouted at the stallion, who blushed deeply before retreating to the kitchen. I blushed in embarrassment and tried to hide my face with my right forehoof. "Amethyst, do you really like burnt bread?"

I was already on my second sandwich and replied through a mouthful of food, "Yeah, it's great! You don't know what you're missing!"

The milkmare frowned at me. "Ugh, don't talk with your mouth full! Didn't you have any kind of home training?"

I swallowed my food before responding. "Sorry about that, Milky Way, it's just that I didn't want to hesitate to answer your question while I was eating. I know it's bad manners to do that."

"So don't do it again, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied sullenly, my head and ears lowered in apology.

"Please don't call me that," she complained in an almost petulant tone of voice.

"But the waiter just did that," I retorted flatly. "Oh, I suppose you don't want your stallion saying that to you, is that right?" I asked as my tone trended towards sarcasm.

"Don't patronize me!" she protested firmly, glaring at me in disapproval again. I heaved a sigh of resignation and wolfed down the rest of my food, then quaffed my sarsaparilla. "And don't eat so fast! You'll get a stomach ache if you do!"

I wiped my muzzle with a napkin and fetched my saddlebags, eliciting a look of surprise from the milkmare. "I'm not your foal, so don't treat me like it," I advised.

"I'm not done eating," she declared as she watched me rise to my hooves and slip the saddlebags onto my back. I used my telekinesis to lift the satchel of coins out, which made her gasp. "Um, please tell me you're not leaving me here," she intoned in apprehension, her eyebrows raised. I fished out about 200 bits or so and levitated the coins onto the table in front of her.

"Amethyst -- please wait," she requested in a very worried tone. "Please talk to me."

I turned to leave as the waiter returned. "How is everything? I hope the food meets with your satisfaction," he offered.

"The food is excellent, sir -- but I'm afraid I must be going. I hope the bill is not too high," I noted.

"Even with the damage to the pitcher and glass, your bill only comes to 37 bits," he responded. "But -- why are you leaving your mare behind?"

"She has displeased me -- her attitude towards me has shifted, and I do not like this," I replied flatly, glancing over my right shoulder at her. She finished her food quickly and trotted over to me, anger quite evident on her face.

"I asked you nicely, Amethyst! Where are you going to go if you're not with me?" she asked as she rose from the table and trotted towards me, a look of consternation marking her features.

I hung my head and shook it slowly, sighing heavily as I did so. "Milky Way, I'm very sorry to have caused you so much trouble," I stated sullenly as I began to trot towards the door. She moved to block my path.

"Amethyst, I beg you! Please don't leave me!" she exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please! Please forgive me! Why would you treat me like this? We've only been together for a day!"

I mashed my muzzle against hers, my face a mask of anger. "Because you're acting exactly like my human wife, that's why. We've only been together for a day and you're already criticizing me for petty faults. I fell victim to that back when Brenda and I got married 21 years ago and I'm gonna nip this thing in the bud before it has a chance to burn me like I got burned the last time around. Now if you don't mind, Miss Milky Way, I must be going," I growled angrily, causing the milkmare to shrink back from me, a look of sadness on her face.

This is Why You Shouldn't Move a Building

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 11

"Michael!" she shouted at my retreating form, causing me to stop immediately. I whirled around, my anger turning to rage and swiftly trotted to her, once again mashing my muzzle against hers.

"Don't you EVER call me by that name AGAIN! Do you HEAR ME?!" I shouted in her face.

"Y-yes, M-michael!" she squeaked, causing me to facehoof.

"UGH! What did I just tell you!" I groaned as I turned around and trotted towards the door again. She galloped to me and tackled me to the floor, pinning me under her weight.

"Please, Amethyst! I need you!" she wailed as she lay on top of me, her tears flowing freely.

"Somepony get her OFF ME!" I shouted angrily, causing the milkmare to sob uncontrollably, but she complied with my request and faced me.

"I -- I -- I thought you loved me!" she wailed.

"I do, Milky -- but -- there are too many differences between us. I am very sorry -- I wish I didn't have to do this -- but I have to. I am so very sorry, Milky Way," I declared softly before kissing her on the lips. "We cannot be together. Good-bye, my love," I stated as I turned to the door again, trotting slowly towards it. Tears continued to stream down her cheeks as I made my way to the door. Just before reaching it, I turned around to give her one last look, though her baleful expression made my heart break. I sighed in resignation and trotted slowly back to her, eliciting a hopeful smile on her face.

"Amethyst, if you forgive me -- I will do anything to make sure you're happy -- and I will do everything I can to keep you happy," she stated solemnly. She kissed me on my lips to emphasize her point, but a stray thought popped in my head, forcing a mental debate within myself.

You'd better leave her while you're still able to, Michael.

It might be too late for that already, I thought back.

Then you'd better watch your back -- there's no telling what she could do -- or might do.

"My love, I sincerely hope you're willing to be true to your word, for my sake," I stated firmly. She reared onto her hind legs and hugged me passionately, kissing me on my lips.

"Mmmh, Amethyst! I promise to make you happy!" she chirped gleefully.

"Waiter, I'm parched -- may I have a glass of water?" I asked loudly, eliciting a gasp of shock from the milkmare, her eyes going wide with fright again.

"Please, Amethyst! No! Please! For me! Don't do this!" she begged. The waiter returned very shortly with a glass of water on a tray, a big grin on his face. Guinness silently expressed some reservation about my request, but did nothing to stop the waiter from bringing another glass of water. My love dropped to her knees and begged me more vociferously, though I chose to ignore her.

"Your water, sir!" he chuckled, placing it before me. Once again I took the glass in my aura and put it to my lips, drinking heavily from it. After a couple of swallows, the glass fell to the floor and broke as my aura around it disappeared.

"NOOOOO!!" the milkmare wailed as she watched me curl up on the floor again, clutching my belly with my forehooves.

"AAAAHH!!" I moaned as the transformation proceeded very swiftly. My moans became louder as the pain seemed to surge throughout my entire body -- my chest felt like it was on fire, but my legs felt cold. "UGH!" I grunted as the pain intensified further. My vision went blurry before going black as I lost consciousness.

"NOOOO!!" Milky Way screamed as she rushed to my side, holding me with her forehooves, laying her head on my chest as my body reverted to its original human form. Blood seeped from my nostrils and the corners of my mouth as my body curled into a fetal position on the floor.

"That stuff must be poisonous to him," Guinness mused aloud, peering at my body.

"Is -- is there a doctor in the house?" the milkmare asked in a pleading tone, her tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Blue Flash, get a medical team here ASAP," Guinness commanded a blue pegasus stallion. This stallion worked in the back, doing various tasks for the pub, but was also nearly as fast a flier as Rainbow Dash.

"Yes, sir!" he stated sharply, saluting his boss before trotting quickly out the door and flying as fast as he could to the hospital. He returned about five minutes later with another pegasus, this one a white mare who wore a nurse's outfit.

"That was fast!" the milkmare observed as she moved away from my body and allowed the nurse to examine me.

"What do you know about being fast? It took two minutes to get here! What manner of creature is this? I've never seen its like before," the nurse noted.

"Um, he's a human, and his name is Michael," Milky Way replied softly. "Can you help him?"

"I'm just here to assess his condition -- a medical team has already been dispatched to assist. From what I'm able to tell, he's unconscious, but will need a little time to recover from his injuries. It appears as though he's suffered from blunt force trauma," she observed.

"Nopony attacked him -- he drank some water, which had this effect on him," the milkmare noted. The nurse nearly gasped in shock before quickly regaining a little composure.

"It would have been helpful had you mentioned this to me earlier. His digestive system probably cannot tolerate drinking water -- most unfortunate -- we need to rush him to a hospital as soon as possible!" the nurse exclaimed as she rose to her hooves and swiftly left the pub to reconnoiter with the medical team. They were still about fifteen minutes out when she met with them. She then rushed back to retrieve my body.

"I need another pegasus to assist me in carrying him to the medical team! They're close, but not close enough, and this patient may die if we don't get him to hospital stat!"

"Blue Flash at your service, ma'am," the blue stallion announced proudly. "Which end should I carry?"

"Take his lower hooves -- I'll take his head," the nurse stated as she lifted my head in her forehooves.

"Mmmh, don't leave me, my love," I mumbled, causing the nurse to blush and the milkmare to smile. I woke to find my head cradled between two white forelegs and immediately shouted in fright, thinking that I had been taken by the fashionista again. I opened my eyes to see an alabaster face of concern, her pale lavender eyes and her silvery mane causing me some confusion.

"Sorry about that, miss --" I began, pausing to let her say her name. I gave her an expectant look.

"Umm, I am White Health," she stated softly. "How are you feeling?"

I licked the corners of my mouth, tasting a slightly salty substance. "Every time I drink water as a unicorn stallion, I turn into a human male -- but it seems to hurt me considerably more each time it happens. I don't know how many more times I can do that before it ends up killing me," I mused. "My stomach still aches -- did somepony bring me an ale?"

"I would recommend against that, given your current state of weakness," the nurse advised softly. She seemed very interested in my body, trotting around me and inspecting me very closely.

"Never seen a human before, eh?" I chuckled, earning another blush from the pegasus. The milkmare returned to my side and hugged me, smiling warmly again.

"Mmmh, I'm so glad you're okay now, Michael," she cooed softly to me.

"Love you, too, babe -- umm, can I have something to drink?" I asked aloud.

"Waiter, fetch him a 'Slosh, ASAP!" Guinness barked. "Sorry about that, Michael -- I should have stopped him before he brought you a glass of water. Is that stuff poisonous to you?"

"It was my fault to ask for water in the first place, sir. I am deeply sorry to have caused so much trouble in here," I replied. If I had been a pony at this point, my ears would have been lowered, but as a human I tried to speak as respectfully as possible. The nurse finished her examination just as the medical team reached the door. She met with them and had a brief conversation before they left, grumbling about having been rushed to a non-life-threatening scenario.

"That's quite all right, Michael -- no harm done, I think. What were you eating? I'll have another plate brought to you," the pub owner offered warmly.

"I think I was eating some burnt grilled cheese sandwiches -- very tasty, those -- and a house salad -- what's your secret recipe for the dressing? It's really good!"

Guinness chuckled. "Sorry, Michael -- can't give out the secret recipe! Then it wouldn't be a secret, and other pubs might offer the same thing. I can't have that, it'd ruin my business! You know that, don't you?"

"Sorry I asked, but the dressing is a perfect complement to the salad -- the mix of greens along with the tangy and slightly sweet dressing ranks it among the best tasting salads I've ever eaten -- and trust me, I've eaten quite a lot of salad over my 50 years," I replied with a smile.

"Well, I'm glad you like our food -- be sure to tell everypony you know and meet," he noted. The waiter returned with a mug of the house ale, which I took and drained quickly.

"Mmmh, that hit the spot -- I wonder how you manage to keep the foam on the bottom," I mused.

"Our house ale is a secret recipe as well -- we have a unicorn beer tapper who pours it upside-down into the glass, allowing the foam to remain on the bottom," Guinness admitted.

"Ummm, how about a little of my milk, Michael? I, ummm, kinda need to be milked again," the milkmare offered, grinning sheepishly.

"And we're nowhere near your apartment -- I dunno if I'm ready to turn back into a stallion yet," I replied, earning a glare of disapproval from the mare. "I was wondering what kind of reaction that would elicit from you," I said, addressing the milkmare directly. Her eyes went wide with fear again. "Relax, Milky Way, I'm gonna give you another chance to prove your love to me -- but I'm not thirsty for your milk right now. Maybe later, or perhaps Discord might be interested in buying some more of it from you," I added.

"It makes my stomach hurt each time he does that -- at first, it felt kinda good, but now -- well, the last time he took my milk, it hurt," the mare observed. I knelt at her right side and wrapped my arms around her, cooing softly in her ears.

"It's gonna be all right, my love -- I'll keep you safe from him," I said softly. "If you need me to milk you, I'll lay on the floor again."

The weird sound of a zipper announced the arrival of the chaos entity once again and upon seeing me, he chuckled. "So, you've turned back into a human -- now, how exactly do you propose to keep your mare safe from me?"

"I might have a little discussion with Princess Celestia and inform her that you're violating the terms of your probation," I noted firmly, eliciting a gasp of mock horror from the draconequus.

"No! You wouldn't do that, would you?" he asked sarcastically. "What do you think she could do to me?"

"I suspect it was rather uncomfortable being a statue, wasn't it?" I grinned, causing him to frown.

"No, it wasn't -- but tell me this: how do you propose to turn me back into a statue when you don't even have the Elements of Harmony around to do that?"

"A Medusa head, or a cockatrice attack, or maybe having a basilisk or catoblepas stare at you," I replied nonchalantly.

"Umm, perhaps I should respect the terms of my release -- you're too smart for your own good, and mark my words: one of these days, you're going to need my help."

"You've already helped us out a few times, Discord -- and for that, I'm grateful. But perhaps if you were more gentle when you take milk from my mare, and not hurt her as badly as you do --"

"Oh, is that all? I'm sorry, Milky Way, I was just trying to make it quick -- I had no idea that milking you so rapidly caused you pain. I promise to be more gentle whenever I need your milk -- and speaking of which, I just remembered I needed more from you!" he chortled, then proceeded to drain the milkmare dry again, but much more gently this time.

"How's it feel now?" I asked as I rubbed her belly, just lightly brushing her teats very softly.

"Mmmmmmmh, goooood," she cooed softly.

"Thank you once again, Milky Way! Here's another satchel of bits for you," Discord declared, leaving a fairly big bag of coins behind as he disappeared.

"Would you be kind enough to share your wealth with us?" asked Guinness. "I own this establishment and I frown upon personal business of that sort being conducted in my pub. I hope ten per cent is not too much to ask as a commission fee."

The words weren't even two seconds out of his mouth when another bag of coins appeared right in front of him with a note attached. He picked it up and read it, a big smile coming to his face.

"What I said before -- never mind, looks like I've been given my commission by Discord," he grinned, hefting the bag onto his back and trotting to the kitchen. "Oh, and don't worry about paying for your meals -- this is more than enough to cover that as well!" he added as he glanced over his left shoulder at us, still grinning at the amount of coins he had been given.

"Um, Michael? Have you had enough to eat or drink? Do you think it's time for us to head back home?" asked the milkmare, another hopeful look on her face. I looked down at my body, noticing my nudity and frowned.

"I don't mind trotting around naked as a stallion, but as a human, I'm a bit self-conscious about running around with no clothes on. Perhaps if Discord could provide me with some clothing, it wouldn't be so bad," I commented, perhaps a bit more loudly than I should have. The draconequus returned immediately and grinned at me. He was wearing a red velvet smoking jacket and had a long black cigarette holder in his mouth, a lit cigarette being held in it.

"Something I can do for you, Michael?" he asked, his grin widening.

"Some clothing would be nice," I replied dryly. I formed a mental image of what I wanted.

"Don't go turning yourself into a stallion so quickly this time," he stated, waving his lion's paw at me, whereupon I was dressed in my navy blue polyester slacks, my black and white Brooklyn Express shirt, and my black and white Adidas Elevation basketball shoes, a pair of white calf-high socks as well.

"Thanks again, Discord -- what about a belt? How about my wallet?" I asked.

"What do you need a wallet for? Both of those items are made of cow hide, and you know how these ponies feel about that," he replied, teleporting the requested items in front of me. I put the wallet in my left front pocket and slipped the belt through the beltloops and secured it with the buckle. "Better now?" he asked, chuckling slightly.

"Much better, thank you, Discord," I replied, smiling at him.

"Glad to be of service to you," he chortled before disappearing again.

"Is your belt really made of cow hide?" asked Milky Way, who trotted very close to me to examine it. She put her left forehoof on it, feeling the smoothness of it. "Hmm, doesn't feel like cow hide."

"That's because it's coated for protection. I apologize for using a strip of tanned cow hide to keep my pants from falling down, but -- this item came from my home world -- didn't I explain to you?"

"I don't like that fact -- I find it troubling," she replied almost apprehensively.

"I know, and I'm sorry. Please don't judge me by your standards -- how many times must I ask you that?" I asked in exasperation as she continued to frown at me. She gave a sheepish grin and reared up on her hind legs, wrapping her forelegs around my chest.

"I'm sorry, Michael -- it's just that -- I've been a pony for 22 years -- I was raised and educated as a pony -- and we have a very strong taboo against using materials of any kind from other sapient species, including cows," she explained. I lost myself gazing into her emerald eyes again and kissed her on her lips.

"Did I ever mention just how beautiful your eyes are, my love?" I asked, cooing softly into her ears.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she gave me a very wide smile and returned my kiss with renewed passion. "Mmmh, Michael -- I love you!" she chirped. "Come on, let's go home! I wanna make love to you again!"

"Mmmh, let me grab that sack of coin, love -- it's gonna be a long walk home and it's starting to get dark out already," I noted. We kissed very briefly before she let go of me and returned to her hooves. I grabbed the sack of bits and hefted it over my back, grunting with the effort. We left the pub and started making our way back to her apartment. The shoes were a big help -- I had certainly missed wearing them. Just about all the other ponies who witnessed us gawped and stared and commented loudly, causing me to glare and glower at them.

It took nearly an hour for us to reach her building, though we were shocked to see a yellow tape cordon around the entire building when we got there. Police ponies were standing guard around the building, causing me to express surprise. I walked up to one of the ponies and asked him a question.

"Um, excuse me, sir, but -- why is this building taped off?"

"The entire building is a crime scene -- somehow or other, it was moved off its foundation and slid along the ground until it reached this point. A great deal of damage was done in the process. Preliminary estimates are around two million bits," he explained. "We've been checking with the landlord to determine who might have done this -- but it would take an extremely powerful unicorn to do something this big."

"Mmmh, yes, well -- I dunno about that, but -- we're tired and we need to go in and get some sleep," I noted. Milky Way was giving me a look of wide-eyed fear and shaking her head rapidly from side to side as if to tell me to stop talking.

"Sir, we cannot allow you to contaminate a crime scene. Please find somewhere else to stay," the officer instructed flatly.

"Any suggestions?" I asked.

"How about the Horse-shoe Road Inn? They're not far from here," he offered, smiling warmly.

"Thanks!" I replied cheerfully. "And which way do we go to get there?"

"Mmmh, I'll show you the way, Michael -- I know where it is," the milkmare offered. "Sorry for the trouble, officer. We'll be going now." She turned her attention to me and glared in disapproval. "C'mon, let's get going."

"By the way, you haven't seen a purple unicorn stallion trotting around here, have you? We're on the watch for somepony matching that description," the officer requested.

"Can't say that I have, sir," I replied as I followed the milkmare who began trotting at a brisk pace away from her building.

"If you see or hear anything, please let us know."

"Yes, sir," I replied as I quickened my pace to match the mare who was now cantering double-quick away from the scene. She broke into a full gallop, forcing me to run after her, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "Milky! Slow down!" I huffed as I was forced to slow my pace to a walk, my breathing becoming labored by my effort. She continued to gallop away in a panic, not bothering to look behind her, and because I could not keep up with her, she rounded a corner about five blocks ahead of me and I lost sight of her.

"Milky!" I shouted as I tried to jog, alternately walking and half-running as I tried to remember where she had turned off. I called out her name several more times as I turned the block where I thought she had gone. It had gotten dark out now and the streetlamps only gave dim lighting to the area. I called out her name a few more times, though all I succeeded in doing was attracting the attention of a number of whorses who had begun trolling the streets looking to turn tricks. I was stunned by the similarities of the whorses in Trottingham to the prostitutes who walked the streets in the larger cities in my home world.

"Mmmh, hey, big boy, wanna give me a try? Only ten bits," an older dark red mare with bleached-blonde mane and tail chuckled, coughing and hacking a little as her attempt to speak met with her body's attempt to clear her throat. She was wearing certain clothes which were meant to appeal to stallions, but to me, she looked extremely tacky and unattractive.

"I'm looking for the milkmare," I replied tersely as I strode past her, trying to avoid physical contact with her.

"I don't know her, honey -- but I'm better than her, I can guarantee it! Fifty bits and I'll prove it!" a dark brown mare with a very curly jet black mane and tail chirped as she swished her tail against my legs.

"Ugh! My love is only for the milkmare!" I groaned as I continued pressing my way forward, shoving a number of the more insistent whorses away from me, each of them vying for my attention, one of them trying to wrap herself around me.

"Get OFF ME!" I shouted at her, pushing her away firmly with my left hand. I carried the sack of bits in my right, hefted over my shoulder, which is most likely why the whorses wanted my attention. I trotted a bit further along and noticed a building which looked like a hotel, so I entered to find a rather seedy-looking tan stallion behind the check-in desk -- which had chicken-wire running from the top of the desk to the ceiling and a small cut-out area, presumably for the passage of bits for keys.

"How much for a room, sir?" I asked him.

"You wanna rent it for an hour, or four? Or do ya want the entire night?" he asked, flashing me a sly grin. I grimaced in disappointment, or perhaps out of anger.

"This must be a sex hotel," I muttered, though loudly enough for him to hear it.

"Yep, that's right, pardner. Ten bits for an hour, twenty bits for four hours, or fifty bits for a night. Check-out's at nine AM, pardner!"

I sat the sack of bits on the floor and fished out what I thought was fifty bits, placing it on the counter. The clerk let out a low whistle when he saw the coins, snatching them quickly and sliding a key through the slot.

"Room 517, fifth floor, but the elevator's broken. The showers don't work, either," he noted. "And NO SMOKING! I don't care what else you do in there," he added.

"Thanks," I grunted as I hefted the sack of bits over my shoulder, taking the key and making my way to the stairs. Climbing the stairs was quite a chore and after about the third floor, I stopped to rest for a moment. A couple of burly stallions came charging down the stairs and hoisted me up against the wall of the staircase, a third stallion grabbing the sack of coin and trotting off with it.

"HEY! PUT THAT DOWN! THAT'S MY BAG!" I shouted at the retreating stallion. I kicked the nearest one holding me in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. The other one wasn't quite strong enough to hold me up, but he retaliated by punching me in the gut with his left forehoof. I doubled over in pain, clutching my belly with my hands as the first stallion brought his entire weight down on my back, causing me to buckle to the floor in extreme pain. The two stallions proceeded to beat me into unconsciousness, breaking a number of my ribs, puncturing a lung, and breaking my left tibia for good measure. They then dragged my body down the stairs and tossed me into the street in front of the hotel.

-------------------------------------

"I've gotta get away from the cops! I can't have them thinking I was responsible for moving my building! Damn you, Amethyst! Why did you have to do that!" the milkmare muttered to herself as she galloped as fast as she could. "Michael, come on! Keep up with me!" she shouted as she continued to gallop towards her destination. She had looked over her left shoulder once to see me behind her, but quite a ways back. She rounded a corner and waited for me to catch up, but after waiting for what seemed like about five minutes, her fear got the better of her and she renewed her fevered attempt to get away from the police.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I have been so careless?" she asked herself as she continued to gallop as fast as she could, reaching the Horse-shoe Road Inn in less than five minutes. She slowed her pace to a trot and looked around for me, trotting around the inn a few times to see if I was on my way. Unfortunately for her, I was two blocks south of her and six blocks east, trying to push my way out of a throng of whorses.

"Michael! It's getting dark! I'm going into the hotel!" she shouted as loudly as she could. She waited a few more minutes as Celestia put her Sun away for the night and trotted into the hotel.

"Umm, how much is a room for the night?" she asked the clerk, who immediately recognized her.

"For you, ma'am, it's on us! Here you go," he smiled, hoofing her a key for a first-floor room.

"Thank you so much! I would offer you some milk, but I don't have any right now," she responded softly, taking the key and trotting to the room.

"I'm hoping you'll offer me a little something more than your milk," he muttered under his breath as he watched her trot, staring intently at her hindquarters as she sauntered to the room. Upon entering, she closed and locked the door behind her and lay on her belly across the bed, hoping that I'd be able to find her. She lay awake until her fatigue overtook her, though she tossed and turned all night long as I was nowhere near to provide her with the comfort she craved.

Unauthorized Visitor

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 12

-------------------- two weeks later --------------------

I don't know how long I was out for -- and truthfully, I don't recall making my way into a hospital bed -- which was where I woke up, my head throbbing with pain -- that was nowhere near the sharp stabbing pain in my chest and the shooting pain in my left leg. I had a respirator attached to my face, pumping oxygen into my lungs and removing carbon dioxide from my breath. I tried to move but found myself strapped into the bed. Tears began trickling down my cheeks as I tried to recall what had happened -- all I remember was seeing a couple of big burly stallions grab me and another one rob me of my sack of bits. I could hear the constant beeping of monitors and the gentle rhythmic sound of the respirator. As there was nothing left for me to do, I lay awake until I lost consciousness again. A nurse trotted in to check on me, but since I was asleep, she turned and left.

I drifted in and out of consciousness, losing track of time. I was silently hoping the milkmare would find me and help me and wondered how long it would be before she finally did find me. As I was about to drift off to sleep again, a certain alabaster mare trotted into the room. It appeared that she wore no make-up, but her deep blue eyes and her very short indigo-purple mane gave me a clue as to whom she was. Her coat appeared to be a dirty dull-grey at this point and she had a certain odor about her.

"Michael, darling, I'm so sorry to see what has happened to you," she said softly as she stood by my right side, examining the tubes and electrodes attached to my body. "What happened?"

I looked at her, a tear trickling from my right eye. I tried to speak but couldn't, as the respirator covered my nose and mouth.

"Well, darling, I guess it serves you right for scorning me. I tried to be nice to you, but you refused me -- and look what it's gotten you! But all is not lost, darling -- your feet are still free, and I can boku-maru with you!" she chortled as she found a free gurney and wheeled it to the end of mine, hopping onto it and placing her hind hooves against my feet. Owing to the fact that I had been strapped to the bed, I was helpless to stop her from indulging her desire, though the sensation seemed to ease my pain just a little bit. A soft moan escaped my mouth as my pleasure center was activated, if only for a brief moment.

"Mmmh, darling, I'll be back again soon! I hope you get better for me," she declared before trotting out of the room.

----------------- two weeks earlier ---------------------

The morning arrived to find the milkmare waking up groggily and rubbing sleep from her eyes. Her teats hung heavy with milk, and without access to her milking machine, she cursed aloud at her plight as her teats began to drip with her milk. She trotted into the bathroom and got into the tub and began squeezing her teats as gently as she could, trying to force as much milk from them as she could.

"Discord! Can you help me?" she asked, but received no answer. She called out his name several more times, each time becoming more and more frantic, but each time she waited a few moments for him to show up, she received nothing. She groaned and sighed, resigning herself to milking her teats by herself, the milk running to the drain in the tub. Upon finishing as best she could, she turned on the water and took a shower to clean herself up somewhat. After that, she toweled off and took the room key with her to the front desk of the hotel so she could check out.

"How was your stay last night?" the clerk asked, almost by rote.

"It was okay, thanks," she offered sullenly as she trotted out the front door to start her search for me. She trotted around the hotel again, asking other ponies if they'd seen a human, but everypony she asked replied that they either hadn't seen a human or even knew what one was. She trotted around another block, asking about me, again to no avail. The next block over, she met up with a police pony, so she asked him about me.

"Can't say that I've seen a human -- say, aren't you the mare who was seen with a purple unicorn stallion yesterday? I seem to recall a large building sliding along the ground, the purple stallion guiding it along somehow."

"Umm, well -- he left town yesterday evening and I haven't seen him since, officer. But -- I'm looking for a human -- about twice as tall as me, stands on two long legs -- I think he was wearing dark blue and black clothes," she replied. She gave him a nervous glance as she said this, tipping him off to her dishonesty.

"Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to accompany me -- I've got some more questions for you, and I think you're not telling me the truth about that purple stallion. Moving that builiding like that caused a lot of damage, and somepony's gonna pay for it -- most likely, that purple stallion. The sooner we can track him down, the sooner we can release you," he stated as he pulled a set of hoofcuffs from somewhere and attached one end around the mare's right foreleg, the other to his left.

"No! Okay, he turned into a human! But he can change from human into a pony! And back into a human! We were at the Stallion's Retreat yesterday when it happened! Ask Guinness, the pub owner!" she protested as she tried to remove the cuff.

"Hmm. That's about two miles from here -- why would you go there? Oh, that's right -- you had him with you. C'mon, I've gotta tell my supervisor about this. Looks like we've got a good lead -- if you cooperate more with us, we can talk about extenuating circumstances," he grinned, forcing the mare to trot along with him. The two of them trotted for what seemed like a mile and a half until they returned to the crime scene.

"Umm, can I get my milking machine out of there?" she asked, giving the officer her best puppy-dog eyes look.

"Sorry, ma'am, but I can't do that. This is still a crime scene, but now that we know who's responsible for moving the building, we can allow tenants to return to their apartments. By the way, do you know where the stallion is?"

"We were trying to get to the Horse-shoe Road Inn -- but I was scared and lost sight of him. I have no idea where he is -- please don't look at me like that! I'm sorry! If I knew, I would tell you! He was following me yesterday, but I guess I must have -- I remember seeing him follow me, but -- he was so far behind me! I tried to wait, but -- I panicked! I know where that inn is -- damn! He didn't! He got lost! There must be another hotel nearby or not too far from that inn," she said as she tried to recollect the events of the previous evening.

"The only other hotel anywhere near that one is -- The Whorse's Plot," he stated with disgust.

"Damn! He can't read Equish! I should never have left him behind!" she shouted in anguish. "He must have thought that hotel was the Horse-shoe Road Inn!"

"I wish you had told me that earlier when we were still near that place -- here, I'll remove the cuffs. I'll have my partner accompany you to the -- ugh -- sex hotel. I can't stand that place," he shuddered. He called out to his partner, a lime-green stallion with a shock of dirty blonde mane and tail.

"Officer Rap Sheet, at your service," he announced. "Officer Slip Knot is my partner, but I'll be with you to check out this lead. I certainly hope we can find him -- he's not going to be very happy when he gets hit with the clean-up and restoration bill -- and about a year in prison as well," the stallion noted dryly. "So, he went to the Whorse's Plot, eh?" he chuckled.

"He can't read Equish!" she reiterated more forcefully. "He didn't know!"

"Yeah, but -- he didn't leave the place to try to find another hotel, now, did he?"

"Well, uhh, no, but -- he can't read Equish! How was he supposed to know? He's not from around here! And I need my milking machine!"

"Where is it?"

"It's in my apartment! Please, let me go get it and use it -- ugh! My shop!"

"Oh, that's right -- you're the local milkmare! My marefriend swears by your milk, says it's the best she's ever had. Okay, you run in there and get your machine --"

"I'm not taking it with me -- I just need to use it," she declared.

"You might not be staying in your apartment much longer, miss -- the landlord's already been informed, and your stuff is most likely going to be set by the curb."

"NOOO! I need to --" she began before she caught sight of the dark blue unicorn mare, trotting over to her. "Slum Lord! Please! Let me stay in my apartment!"

"Let me have that sack of bits you got and you can," she grinned. The milkmare raced into the building and returned just two minutes later, hefting the sack of bits on her back and dropping it at the landlord's forehooves. "Excellent, Milky Way! Thank you for your generosity!"

The landlord then trotted over to a pair of burly stallions and whispered something in their ears, eliciting big grins on their faces. They trotted into the building, though the milkmare paid them no attention as she returned to the lime-green police stallion's side.

"Okay, let's get going! I need to find him!" she exclaimed. Rap Sheet nodded his head and began trotting back towards the north edge of town where the two hotels were located. While they were making their way there, the two burly stallions, who were in the employ of Slum Lord began carting Milky's belongings to the curb nearest the entrance of the building. Ponies who passed by helped themselves to whatever caught their interest and before long, the only thing left was the milking machine, though it ended up getting destroyed by other ponies who saw fit to damage it.

After about half an hour of trotting, the two reached the sex hotel, the sign dangling by a single chain from its mast, the wind casually flipping it about. As the police stallion entered, a bunch of mares ran out the front door screaming, the desk clerk hiding behind his desk. Rap Sheet reared up on his hind legs, resting his forehooves on the desk and glared at the clerk. The milkmare stood by his side, though she chose to remain standing on all fours.

"Have you seen a human around here?" asked the police pony, noting the tan stallion cowering in a corner of the booth.

"Ummm -- no, no, I, uhh, can't say that I have -- I, uhh, I don't even know what a human is!" he offered meekly.

"You're lying -- Miss Milky Way, is he taller than me when I'm standing?"

"Yes, but only just a little -- he was wearing dark colored clothing and had a large sack of coins on his back," the mare noted. "He is not familiar with Equestrian coinage and its value -- how much did he pay for a room in here?"

"Five hundred bits," the clerk said before covering his muzzle with his forehooves.

"So, he was here! Which room did he get?" asked the officer, who now glared even more harshly at the clerk, who silently thanked the chicken-wire from keeping the officer from grabbing him.

"Uhh, 517 -- but -- he never made it up there," the clerk said, covering his muzzle again.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!??" the milkmare screeched as she practically lunged over the counter, the chicken wire nearly giving way as she put a great deal of force behind her attempt.

"Uhh -- I dunno," the clerk replied, cowering again and covering his head with his forehooves. At his point, a trio of big burly stallions entered the lobby, but upon seeing the police officer, they turned tail and trotted quickly up a staircase. The milkmare caught sight of them retreating before turning her attention back to the clerk.

"Who are those stallions? Did they do something to my human?" she asked, glaring daggers at the clerk, who pushed a button under the counter. Shortly after that, the owner of the hotel came in, relieving the clerk.

"Not so fast, Scooter! I've got some more questions for you!" the police stallion growled.

"Umm, you'll have to ask my boss -- I'm on break now!" he chortled as he scurried away.

"Yes, officer, may I help you?" asked a pudgy middle-aged cream-colored mare who wore her red mane styled up in a double-bouffant.

"Miss Milky Way is looking for a human stallion -- and so are we," the officer stated flatly. The tan desk clerk returned and grinned.

"Oh, he's wanted by you guys as well? Why didn't you say so? Yeah, our goons took his money and beat him up -- he's probably in the hospital," the clerk chuckled.

"That -- that was MY money! They took MY money!" Milky Way screeched, her face going red with rage as she trotted with extreme deliberation towards the clerk.

"Miss Milky Way, we'll get your money back to you. Let's go to the hospital to see if we can find our stallion," Rap Sheet mused as he trotted towards the door.

"I want my money back!" she shouted at the owner as she caught up to the police officer. "The hospital is on the south end of town! It's going to take us two hours to get there!" she complained.

"How important is he to you?" Rap Sheet asked, giving her a sidelong glance.

"He's -- he's my stallion! I -- I love him!" she averred almost stridently.

"If you love him as much as you say you do, I should think a two hour trot would be nothing in the face of true love," the stallion mused. "I will have another officer accompany you there -- we're going to have to take him into custody if he's not too badly injured."

Once again, the pair trotted back to her apartment building, the tape cordon finally having been removed. Upon seeing her milking machine damaged beyond repair, the milkmare screamed.

"NOOOO! My milking machine! What's it doing out here?! Who did this?!" she wailed. "I'm going to my apartment!" she exclaimed as she rushed into the building and up the stairs to her apartment. The door had been locked shut, so she took out her key and tried it in the lock. To her shock and dismay, she discovered her key no longer worked, so she frantically shook the knob and the door in an attempt to enter what used to be her apartment. She noticed Duck Tape in the hallway and trotted quickly to meet him.

"Why won't my key work? I paid Slum Lord enough money to cover a year's worth of rent!"

"Hmm, I don't recall her saying anything about that -- she told me to change the lock on 8 fargle -- oh, that's your apartment! Well, not anymore it ain't!" he chuckled. "You got a problem with that? Take it up with Slum Lord."

The mare broke down and began sobbing and wailing. "NOOOO! My home! My stuff! NOOOO! Where am I going to stay now?"

"I dunno, but you can't stay here -- you'd best get going, or I'm gonna have to ask the cops to arrest you for trespassing. You're no longer a tenant here," the stallion stated flatly. He trotted over to her and tapped her on her shoulder to get her attention. "C'mon, I don't wanna have to call the cops on you."

"UGH! Leave me alone!" she yelled, rising to her hooves and trudging angrily down the stairs. She met up with Rap Sheet, who assigned yet another officer to escort her to the hospital. This time it was a pegasus mare, light green in color with a pink and orange mane and tail.

"Sorry to hear about your loss, Miss Milky Way -- hopefully we can get everything straightened out for you. I'm Officer Pepper Spray -- I'll be your escort to the hospital," she offered warmly. Tears continued to trickle from the milkmare's eyes as she sniffled a little.

"I hope so -- I don't have anywhere to stay now," she noted dejectedly. "All my stuff is gone...and my milking machine has been destroyed. Where is Discord when I need him?"

"Umm, Miss Milky Way, it's not a good idea to go around calling on him for help," the police mare mused. "I've heard he's nothing but bad news. I remember being taught the legends about him when I was in school."

"Yes, but -- he's changed! He's doing good things now!"

"Hmm, I find that hard to believe. Let's get going, please," the police mare implored almost stiffly. "We've got a bit of a hike ahead of us and I hope to get something to eat after we get there."

Almost to emphasize her point, Milky Way's stomach growled in protest over the fact she hadn't eaten anything in about 20 hours.

"Sounds like you're hungry, too. I'll buy you something when we get to the cafeteria."

"Thank you, officer," she replied warmly as the two began their trek to the hospital. The two mares attracted attention from various other ponies, though occasionally one would throw one of the milkmare's uniforms at them, said uniform being dirtied up in an unspeakable way.

"I can't believe she would do that to me! And even after I had paid her!" the milkmare wailed as her favorite uniform, the red one, was hurled at her. It had been cut nearly to shreds and stained with fecal matter as she watched it hit the ground in front of her. She picked it up, noticing all the rips and tears, then flung it away when she caught the sight and scent of another pony's excrement on it. "Ugh! My favorite uniform! Damn her!"

"We'll straighten it out for you, Milky Way. We'll address the issue of your landlord and resolve it to your satisfaction."

"Thank you so much -- I certainly hope you can. I want Slum Lord to pay for what she's done to me!"

"She's not the only one who's going to be paying -- your stallion is looking at a pretty steep bill for the damage he's caused," the police mare replied in a dull monotone.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

"I know -- Earth Ponies can't wield magic like that -- he must be a really powerful stallion if he can move an entire building like that!" the officer exclaimed, a broad smile on her face. "Hmm, if he's that powerful, I wonder how good he is at other things..."

"Please! He's my stallion!"

"Sorry about that -- it's just that stallions are in pretty short supply around here -- and I've been pretty lonely for awhile," the police mare mused pensively.

"I'm sorry to hear that -- but -- I just can't let my stallion go like that. I need him -- I love him," the milkmare declared, a hopeful note to her voice.

"I'm glad you found a special somepony -- although I'm curious to see what he looks like."

"I think he's still looking like a human."

"Hmm, I wonder what those look like -- I've never seen a human before."

"Most ponies haven't! I was amazed to see him in Ponyville -- he mentioned something about Twilight Sparkle, but -- I can't let him see her again. I'm worried she might try to take him away from me. I hear the things he says when he's asleep, what he says about her. It makes me angry when he talks about her in his sleep."

"I've heard about her -- she helped defeat Nightmare Moon about three years ago! If he's as powerful as her -- he must be! Nopony could move a building like that if he -- I think he might be even more powerful than Twilight! WOW!" the police mare exclaimed excitedly. "I definitely want to see him now!"

"Officer Pepper Spray! Michael's MY stallion! Umm, if you want to see him, I guess that's all right -- but nothing more than that!"

"What a rather odd name for a unicorn stallion. Michael. Hmm," the police mare mused.

"He has two names! As a unicorn, his name's Amethyst Flame," Milky Way explained.

"Ah, so that's his name! We were wondering who he was. So -- why is he a human? How does he change back and forth?"

"Well, when he's a human, if he drinks my milk, he changes into a unicorn stallion. As a pony, if he drinks tap water, he changes back into a human," the milkmare replied nonchalantly. The police pegasus stopped dead in her tracks at that revelation, her eyes wide as saucers.

"... He's a changeling ..." she muttered just barely above a whisper. The milkmare bopped the police mare over the head with her right fore-hoof.

"No! He's NOT! He told me changelings use magic to alter their forms!"

"If you hit me again, I'll arrest you on the spot for assault. I'll be the judge of whether or not he's a changeling!" she responded indignantly as they finally arrived at the hospital. They approached the information desk and asked about me.

"We were wondering about that. Wait a moment, I'll call a doctor to escort you to his room," the receptionist stated in a flat tone. She pushed a button and called for Doctor Bone Marrow, who took his sweet time getting to them. The two mares had taken seats in the waiting room and nearly fifteen rather tense minutes elapsed before he finally showed up.

"How is he?" asked the milkmare.

"We had him in ICU last night -- he is in critical but stable condition -- multiple compound bone fractures, punctured lung, severe lacerations and contusions -- it's going to be months before he recovers from the injuries," he stated almost sullenly. "We have no idea of who or what did this to him -- but they darn near killed him. He's lucky to be alive," he added.

"I need to see him! I need to know if he's okay!" Milky Way implored, a desperate tone to her voice.

"I'm curious to see him myself -- we have reports that he was a unicorn stallion and moved an eight-story apartment building using his magic," the police mare stated, eliciting a look of wide-eyed shock from the doctor. "He moved that building more than a mile from its foundation," she added.

"That's impossible! Do you have any idea of how much magic it would take to move an object of that size over that distance?" the doctor asked in utter astonishment.

"I was with him when he did it," Milky Way offered. "He created an odd-shaped key using his magic, then inserted it into the front door lock of the building, then something which sounded like a loud roaring noise seemed to come from the building itself."

"That means -- he used magic to enchant the building with a movement spell! AMAZING!" the doctor exclaimed in wide-eyed shock.

"That means we'll have to have him do the same thing to put the building back on its foundation. None of our unicorns are anywhere near that magically powerful -- he must be something truly special!" the police mare grinned.

"Well, right now, he's in pretty bad shape -- but I'll take you to his room," the doctor offered. The trio trotted to an elevator, taking them up to the tenth floor, then trotted down a hallway to room 1017. Two beds had been placed end to end so I could be laid out to my full length. Upon seeing me with the wires, tubes, electrodes, and monitors and respirator hooked up to me, the milkmare began sobbing again. The police mare hung her head sadly and wrapped a foreleg around Milky Way's withers.

"I'm so sorry this happened to him -- we'll find out whomever is responsible and ensure justice is done," Pepper Spray noted firmly.

"He -- he had mistakenly tried to stay overnight at -- the Whorse's Plot -- thinking it was the Horse-shoe Road Inn," the milkmare offered.

"... We're gonna shut that place down. We've been looking for any infractions we could get that place on -- and if ponies working for the owner did this to your, uhh, stallion -- that's all we need."

"Doctor, umm -- how long do you think it'll be before he's able to leave?" asked Milky Way.

"Hmm. Given the extent of the injuries, coupled with the amount of time it will take for physical rehabilitation -- probably about a year or so, I think," he mused. "Maybe longer."

This response elicited a wail of despair from the milkmare, who fell to the floor on her hocks and began sobbing uncontrollably.

"I wish I had better news for you -- but even our most accomplished unicorns can only work so much magic on him -- and even then, they have to be very careful, considering the fact that he's not even a pony."

"My milk can change him back into a pony!" the milkmare declared. "Is there a way to feed him my milk?"

"We have him on an IV -- we have to be extremely cautious about his intake -- so, not right now -- perhaps in several weeks if his condition improves," the doctor noted.

"Miss Milky Way, there doesn't seem to be anything we can do right now. I'm hungry -- let's go to the cafeteria and get something to eat," the police mare offered.

"I want to stay with him!"

"Miss Milky Way, I'm afraid that's not possible. His condition is severe enough that he cannot have visitors -- I'm only allowed to let you see him for a few minutes -- and we have to leave now. I'm sorry, but you cannot stay with him until his condition improves."

One Mare Too Late

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 13

The milkmare was inconsolable -- nopony could comfort her as she exiled herself to her shop. She was able to scrape by, just barely able to pay her business expenses with the milk she sold and little more than that to cover food, otherwise subsisting on her own milk. Every day after she closed up shop, she would trot to the hospital to check on me. It took a week before I finally regained consciousness, but I was so weak I couldn't acknowledge anything. Another week passed before I was visited rather late by the fashionista, who seemed to be suffering from dementia -- or perhaps I was suffering from it. She made several more late-night visits to me during the next month or so.

The hospital staff had allowed visitors but the only ones I got were Milky Way, Rarity, and the occasional police pony. My body was still in a great deal of pain and Rarity's brief but troubling appearances didn't help matters. What also didn't help much was the fact that the milkmare seemed to be more distant from me than I recalled, though I chalked that up to her not being able to boku-maru with me, despite her repeated requests of the hospital staff to let her do that. They had caught her one time in the act of doing that with me, and were forced to separate her from me. After that, the milkmare was required to have a nurse or doctor accompanying her during any further visits to my bedside.

Rarity was another matter -- she seemed to be able to avoid detection and stealthily visited me during after-hours, sometimes taunting me, sometimes pleading with me, sometimes just talking to me while I slept, sometimes even asking me to forgive her. Most of the time I would ignore her, pretending to be asleep, or actually be asleep, though her ramblings would cause me to shift uncomfortably in the bed. The fact that I had been strapped down to the bed caused me to suffer from panic attacks and hyperventilate, which forced them to keep the respirator on me at all times. Rarity always asked me questions I could not or chose not to answer, though she would sometimes talk to herself as though I were answering her questions. This is what led me to believe her mental condition was deteriorating, but I could not determine for certain whether or not that was the case. About the only thing I relished was that she would boku-maru with me every time she chose to visit me.

About a week after Rarity's most recent visit, Princess Celestia finally found me. I had been in the hospital for about three months and the alicorn informed me that because she had been so busy with other matters of state, she had been unable to visit me. She had wanted to do a mind-delve, but owing to my state of weakness, she was unable to do so without aggravating my injuries again. I tried to explain to her as much as I could and she tried to assure me that my concerns were being addressed and that she would try to help me as much as she could, but her schedule was such that whatever help she could provide was extremely limited. I asked about Rarity and the news she gave me left me rather troubled -- a mistrial had been declared due to legal technicalities and Rarity was permitted to run free until her re-trial could be held, though she was still prohibited from using her magic.

As my condition continued to improve, Milky Way was finally allowed to provide me with diluted quantities of her milk as well as have unescorted visits with me. It had taken nearly three months for my bones to heal and I was finally unstrapped from the bed. I was also being given soft food to eat, though their attempts to give me something that had any flavor to it met with my disdain and disapproval. The interesting thing about the milkmare's milk being diluted was that it sped up my healing process, my bones and muscles knitting themselves back together more swiftly, though it did not result in me transforming back into a pony. When the news of this reached Milky Way, she was beside herself and stormed back to the hospital to give the doctors a piece of her mind.

"I could have told you my milk would do that for him! But you wouldn't listen! He's been strapped to that bed for three months, all because you were too cautious!" she huffed in annoyance.

"It's standard protocol, ma'am," Doctor Heart Beat noted dryly, dismissing her concerns.

"That's beside the point! I could have had him back six weeks ago if you had let me give him my milk back then!" she exclaimed in exasperation.

"Regardless of that fact, ma'am, we are required to follow certain procedures, lest the patient die or suffer complications -- and we do not wish to incur additional liabilities in such cases."

The milkmare sighed in resignation as she made her way to my room. I had been moved down to the second floor, room 242, for the purpose of readying me for physical rehabilitation. It was mid-morning, the mare having already sold out her supply of milk for the day when she entered.

"Mmmh, how are you today, Michael?" she asked, flashing a soft smile.

"Better now that you're here, my love," I replied warmly, returning her smile. I always looked forward to her visits and regretted the fact she couldn't stay with me all the time.

"Have they stopped diluting my milk yet?"

"Oh, come on, love! You'd see a big change in my appearance if they did!" I chuckled.

"Oh," she stated as she blushed in embarrassment. "I should have known better than to ask. Perhaps I can sneak you some undiluted milk?"

"Mmmh, not yet -- my digestive system is still too weak for that," I replied. "It's times like these that make me wish I had my Playstation around to kill the time."

"What's that? I've never heard you mention something like that."

"It's my old video game system -- I used to play lots of different games on it -- and I don't think they have anything like that here in Equestria."

"What sort of games? Card games? Chess?"

"The games I played were very complex -- role playing, missions, various and sundry tasks -- some of the games were kind of violent, though. I suppose if I were to show you one of the games I enjoyed, you'd be pretty upset about what the main character of that game is supposed to do."

"Which game would that be?"

"Grand Theft Auto San Andreas -- the main character's name is CJ," I replied, a smile on my face as I recalled some of the more amusing things which could be done in that game. I remembered doing some silly things with him, as well as some of the videos.

"Even the name sounds complex -- what does CJ do in that game?"

"Some of the missions require him to kill other characters in the game -- some of the missions are simple package delivery, and one mission requires him to pull off a casino heist -- the phone call he receives from Salvatore Leone is very amusing after he finishes that mission," I chuckled.

"Why would you play a game that makes you do such awful things?" she asked in stunned shock.

"In a way, it lets me vent my frustration and anger -- playing that game allows me to live vicariously through CJ, using him as a vehicle for the safe release of tension and frustration."

"... I'm glad we don't have a game like that here," she noted softly. "The way ponies think is quite a lot different from the way you humans think -- if such a game were to exist in this world, ponies would come to believe that they could do the same things CJ does, and not face any consequences -- Equestria would become even more chaotic than it already is."

"And I'm sure Discord would just love that," I mused.

"Maybe so -- but the last time I called on Discord to help me, he never showed up -- I lost everything, except for my shop -- even all my money was taken," she sighed.

A weird zipper-like sound seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere as the chaos entity made an entrance.

"Did somepony mention my name?" he asked, a sly grin on his face.

"All that money you gave me for my milk was stolen!" the milkmare exclaimed. "All my stuff in my apartment was stolen! My milking machine was destroyed! I lost my apartment and have been living out of my shop for the past three months! Where were you when I needed you?!"

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Miss Milky Way -- please allow me to help you, in exchange for a little more of your milk," he requested.

"Umm, if it's not too much trouble, I'd appreciate a little help as well -- I don't know if you're aware of what happened to me three months ago, but --"

"I hate to break this to you two, but I was trapped in stone again for those three months -- as you put it -- for me, it was a thousand years!" he growled. "I had no idea Rarity could still work as one of the Element Bearers and trap me in stone again."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Discord," I mumbled. "What happened? Did you violate the terms of your probation?"

"Oh, I suppose you could say something like that -- I'd rather not talk about it, very touchy subject with me, you know. So, Miss Milky Way! A little more of your milk, please?"

"If you could fix everything --" she began before he waved his lion's paw. Instantly, I felt strong again, getting up out of the bed and walking around normally, as though my injuries had never happened. Milky Way and I were teleported back to the apartment building and the dark blue unicorn mare landlord was also teleported there, much to her chagrin.

"Miss Slum Lord, I need for you to give Miss Milky Way her apartment back," the draconequus stated, glaring at the mare.

"I -- I -- can't! Somepony else is living there!"

"Then give her a vacant apartment," he advised, narrowing his eyes at her.

"The building needs to be moved back to its original location!" she demanded.

"Done," he quipped, snapping a couple of fingers on his eagle talon, the building now sitting on its foundation once again. "Now give her an apartment, and considering how much money you took from her, she gets to stay there for ten years with no harassment from you or your lackey superintendent."

"Uhhh -- okay -- um, Milky Way, I'm very sorry about what happened. Here's the key to 1 argy."

"A first floor apartment? Thanks!" the milkmare beamed, taking the key from the landlord.

"You will also have to reimburse her for her stuff, which was stolen or destroyed," the chaos entity declared, still glaring harshly at the unicorn, who shrunk back from his gaze.

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Please stop staring at me!" she nearly wailed as she backed away from him on her haunches, cowering behind her right forehoof.

"How long is that going to take? I need a bed to sleep on, I need a stove to cook on, I need a refrigerator to keep cold foods cold, along with my milk -- and my milking machine! I want a new one!"

"How about a bed for me?" I asked almost meekly. "You were going to double her rent just because I was in her apartment."

"Michael, I wouldn't push my luck if I were you -- you and Miss Milky Way can share a bed in her apartment -- I'll see to it that your needs are met -- but I have needs as well. Please be mindful of that."

"You have my thanks, Discord -- and once again, I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to you," I declared.

"Please spare me your sympathy -- it means nothing to me unless you can understand what it's like to be trapped in stone for a thousand years," he responded, a fair amount of anger in his voice. I hung my head in embarrassment for having broached the subject. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you -- it was extremely frustrating for me." Without saying another word, he teleported us into the apartment and replaced just about everything that had been taken three months earlier. A brand new milking machine had been provided as well as a large sack of bits to replace what had been stolen.

"Miss Milky Way, I'm going to need your milk for the next couple of weeks as payment for this gesture of kindness," he announced.

"Of course, Discord! Thank you so much for everything!" the milkmare chirped, overjoyed to be provided reparations. He took her milk gently, her response being a soft cooing as the sensation proved to be quite pleasurable. "Mmmh, that's almost as nice as boku-maru!"

"Hmmm. I wonder what that feels like," he mused as he disappeared. A knocking came from the front door shortly after he left, so I went to answer it. Upon opening the door, a certain alabaster mare entered. She was hobbling on three legs, her left foreleg in a splint. Her mane had nearly been shorn off, just a bare skiff of indigo purple atop her hornless head, though I noticed the barest nub of a new horn beginning to grow from the broken spot. Her tail was likewise very short. She had made no attempt to put any make-up on her face and her age lines seemed even deeper than the last time I had seen her. Her coat was very dirty, showing a number of cuts and scars. Her left eye was half-closed, her breathing somewhat labored.

"Miss Rarity? What has happened to you?" I asked. She hobbled inside and fell to her hocks, her eyes filled with sadness.

"Michael, darling -- huff, huff -- I have missed you -- why have you -- huff, huff -- forsaken me? I need you --"

"Why aren't you in jail?" asked the milkmare, glowering at the fashionista.

"Hah, huff, huff -- they -- they let me go -- a legal technicality -- huff, huff -- I thought I was going to be executed -- but -- huff, huff -- there wasn't enough evidence, darling! But -- they told me -- huff, huff -- that I can't have my horn back! I'm going to die out there! Please, darling, please help me!"

"What about your sister? Your parents? How about Twilight?" I asked. The broken mare began sobbing uncontrollably, laying on the floor on her belly.

"My sister -- she won't talk to me anymore -- huff, huff. My parents -- they were -- they died on a vacation trip to Las Pegasus -- Twilight -- oh, darling, please don't talk about her! She -- she unfriended me!"

"I'm talking more about your physical condition -- you look terrible -- have these past three months or so been so hard on you that --"

The fashionista seemed to move faster than the eye could follow as she pushed me onto my back on the floor and stood atop my chest, tapping my chest with her right forehoof sharply, hissing through clenched teeth. "Darling, you have no idea -- you scorned me for this -- this -- hussy! How could you do that to me? After all I did for you! I tried to show you true love, but -- but --" she ran out of steam at this point and lay on top of me, her sobbing and wailing returning with renewed vigor. Her body had lost a lot of weight and I could feel her bones through her fur. The milkmare slowly trotted over, an expression of deep anger on her face. Very gently, I lifted the mare off my chest and set her on the floor.

"I am so sorry this happened -- but if you remember, you tried to kill me. I forgive you for that, but I cannot have you as my mare, Rarity. I mean no disrespect, but -- let me put it like this: if you had not tried to kill me, or try to lead me into your basement, none of this would have happened -- and you might actually have had your wedding with me as your stallion," I stated firmly. She turned her attention to me and gave me a hopeful look.

"Please, darling, please tell me it's not too late for that to happen for me -- for us?"

"You found me one mare too late, Miss Rarity -- Milky Way is my love, not you. I want you to know that I don't harbor any hard feelings towards you -- but it's too late for you and me. I am very sorry."

"Michael, darling -- please! I -- I -- I can't live without you! If -- if you send me away -- I -- I --" she wailed before falling to the floor again. A single tear trickled from my left eye, earning the ire of the milkmare.

"Michael, don't you shed a single tear for her! She tried to kill you! Rarity! Get out of my house! NOW!"

"Michael, darling! Please come with me! Leave her and come with me! Please! Don't let me die like this!" she pleaded as she rose to her hooves and began hobbling to the door.

"Discord, can you help her? I don't wanna see her die like that," I said loudly as I stared at the ceiling. I watched in amazement as the fashionista was returned to her former glory, long wavy purple mane and tail, her beauty returned once again, her youth restored. A smile graced my lips at this point.

"Michael, darling, what just happened?" she asked. She craned her neck around to see her tail restored to its long luxurious beauty, and smiled. "I don't know how you did that, but thank you so much!"

"Thank Discord, Miss Rarity. Good-bye, and good luck," I stated as I started towards the door to close it behind her.

"You're -- you're working with him?! Umm, well -- if he's on your side -- Michael, darling, please come with me!"

"You've been returned to your previous beauty, Miss Rarity -- and indeed, you are quite beautiful -- but my love is for the milkmare here. You will have to find another to love you," I stated matter-of-factly. "Please leave. NOW."

"Very well, darling, but -- give Discord my thanks, then -- I just hope you're willing to give me another chance. I'll be waiting for you in my boutique in Ponyville should you ever change your mind. I shall wait for you forever, darling!"

"Forever's a very long time, Miss Rarity. Good-bye," I responded, then closed the door behind her as she trotted out of the building. "Sorry about that, my love," I said, noticing the milkmare's harsh glare softening into a big smile.

"I love it when you call me that!" she cooed. "We've got so much to get caught up on! I wanna boku-maru with you again! Right now!"

I chuckled at her request, then proceeded to pick her up in my arms and carry her to the bedroom, laying her on her back on the bed.

"Ooh, I love how strong you are!" she cooed as she spread her haunches for me, her hind legs dangling off the edge of the bed. I took a moment to stare at her teats, then laid on the floor on my back, gently pressing the soles of my feet against the frogs of her hooves.

The sensation of boku-maru with the milkmare after an absence of more than three months was something that took me by surprise. The intensity of the energy as it flowed back and forth between us caused me to moan in pleasure and gasp for breath every bit as much as the milkmare did. We remained like that for as long as we could before both of us experienced very powerful and intense orgasms, causing us to break the contact. It took several minutes for us to catch our breath, but the feeling of love which enveloped us caused us to kiss each other passionately.

Upon catching my breath, I stood up and gazed at the mare, drinking in the sight of her beauty. My eyes lingered on her teats and her marehood, glistening with her love juices. A smile crept onto my face, matching hers as I kneeled on the floor.

"Mmmh, lick me down there, my love," she cooed. Her eyes lidded as I pressed my face into her haunches and slid my tongue up and down the length of her labia, flicking the tip of my tongue against her love button. She moaned in pleasure as the electrical thrill of that action sent shockwaves into her brain. The lack of sexual activity for me resulted in my member reaching full erection very swiftly -- I wanted to slide it in her, but I also wanted to bring her to climax with my tongue. I raised my head to make eye contact with her.

"My love, I am ready to stick it in you," I said with mock reverence, eliciting giggles from the mare.

"Mmmh, not just yet -- your tongue works magic on me! Keep going! I'll let you know when I want you to fuck me!"

I snorted at her vulgarity, a hint of a chuckle escaping my lips before returning my attention to her dark golden lotus, probing the interior with my tongue, licking and sucking on the fleshy folds of her pussy, flicking the tip of my tongue against her clit, and running my hands over her teats, lightly tweaking the nipples. I had worried about her milk coming out, but had forgotten Discord had drained her again just a little while ago. Her moans of ecstasy were an aphrodisiac to me and pushed me close to my climax. Once again I stopped to take a breath, though she hadn't reached her climax yet.

"I must want it too badly," I huffed, causing her to snort derisively at me and giggle.

"Mmmh, if you can't wait, go ahead and fuck me, my love! I'm very close, too!"

I picked her up, eliciting a cry of surprise from her as I turned around and laid on my back on her bed, setting her belly on mine.

"Mmh, I want you to do the work this time, girl!" I chuckled as I maneuvered her body into position, fitting my fully erect member into her love tunnel.

"Oooh," she giggled as she began slowly bouncing her hindquarters up and down on my lower abdomen, my glans sliding back and forth inside her. "Mmph! Unh!" she grunted as she slowly sped up her movement. I held her hips in my hands, guiding her up and down on me, trying to speed up her movement a little. I bucked my hips up and down against her to match her rhythm, though my strength of lifting her up and down helped her go faster, her moans increasing in their intensity.

"Sit upright on me, brace yourself by putting your forehooves on my chest," I instructed. She did so, her teats resting lightly on my lower abdomen. She gave me a quizzical look as if to indicate she was unsure of why I had made such a request. Without answering her directly, I started sliding her back and forth, my hands firmly grasping her hips, her teats rolling up and down as she slid, causing her to giggle again.

"Mmmh, that feels funny -- but good! Mmmh! Unnnh! Yesss!" she moaned as her pleasure began to build once again. My eyes seemed to lock in on her teats, but the feeling of holding her hips, my fingers grasping her hocks was adding to my arousal. I continued to buck against her as I slid her back and forth, but my stamina was beginning to run out. I grunted with my exertion which made her giggle in response. She leaned forward on my belly and gave me a quick kiss on my lips before returning to her upright position.

"Mmmh, come on! Keep going! Ooooh, feels so good! Unh!" she moaned as she rode back and forth on me. I alternated fondling her teats with holding her hips and rocking her on my abdomen, my member sliding smoothly in her pussy. I sensed my pleasure reaching its peak as my body tensed and stiffened, my glans feeling rock-hard as she bucked her hips on me, speeding up her movements as I continued to grunt with my exertion.

"AAAAH! UNHH! YESSS!" she cried in ecstasy as the sensation rocked her body. Unable to maintain her position, she leaned forward and lay on my chest, her eyes meeting mine as I grunted my approval upon reaching my own climax. I caressed her mane and the back of her neck, blowing soft breaths into her ear.

"Mmmh, be careful when you do that!" she cooed, giggling softly.

"I am so sorry for everything," I responded, just above a whisper before kissing her on her lips.

"Michael, you have nothing to apologize for -- if anything, what happened is my fault," she offered.

"No, no -- don't say that, my love -- just -- just lay on me, I need to hold you close to me," I replied, wrapping my arms around her body and hugging her a little tighter. I relished the softness of her coat of fur against my skin, the warmth of her body laying atop mine, the beauty of her emerald green eyes, which she closed as she sighed in contentment.

"Mmmmh, I love it when you hold me like this -- it feels so nice," she noted breathily.

The feeling of holding her close to me like that lulled me to sleep -- and she must have drifted off herself, her light breathing comforting me as well. We were woken by a sharp knocking at her front door some time later.

"Who is it?" I called out, not wanting to get up from the bed and my lover's embrace.

Without bothering to answer, a certain white alicorn teleported into our room, a stern expression on her face.

"Um, Princess Celestia? May I help you?" I asked, a very puzzled expression on my face.

"I will need for you to accompany me -- there is something I would like to show you," she replied firmly. Her expression did not change, though the look told me something serious was going on.

Reconciliation

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The Human, The Fashionista, and The Milkmare

Chapter 14

"Um, what is it you'd like to show me?" I asked as a certain sense of dread began to well up in my gut.

"May I join him, your Highness?" asked the milkmare.

"I would rather you not involve yourself in this matter, my little pony -- this pertains only to the human here," she replied. The coldness of her response made the hackles on the back of my neck stand up and the color drained from my face. Turning her attention back to me, her expression darkened a little more. "Michael, come with me," she stated, wrapping a wing around me and teleporting the two of us to Ponyville. I had clenched my eyes shut during the jaunt, the sensation causing my stomach to clench as well.

"Open your eyes, Michael," she commanded firmly as she removed her wing from me. I did so and was aghast to see what had happened.

"This looks like Sugarcube Corner," I noted as I walked toward the front door. Upon entering, I heard faint sounds of moaning -- not in pain or misery, but pleasure. The eatery itself was barren -- chairs had been knocked to the floor and the display cases were empty.

"Pinkie Pie! Are you here?" I called out as I paced the floor, astonished by the state of the place. I heard hurried hoofsteps coming down a set of stairs before a certain perky pink earth pony spotted me.

"Mikey! So glad you came! You wanna cupcake?" she asked, a big goofy grin on her face. She reached into her hammerspace and pulled out something which looked like a cupcake, though what it was fell out of her hoof and onto the floor. "Oopsy, sorry about that! Here, let me get you another one!"

"Um, I'm not hungry, Pinkie -- what's been going on around here?" I asked as the alicorn entered. She maintained a neutral expression as she watched my interaction with the baker.

"Oh, Rarity showed me how to boku-maru, Mikey! Nothing feels as good as that! Hey, you wanna do it with me?"

I rubbed my temples, my expression one of disbelief. "No, Pinkie, I don't -- I'm really disappointed in her."

"And I'm extremely disappointed in you, Michael -- have you any idea of what you unleashed by teaching my little ponies how to boku-maru?" asked the Solar Princess, now glowering at me almost angrily. She then teleported me to Sweet Apple Acres to demonstrate yet another unintended consequence -- the fields lay fallow and rotting apples littered the ground around the trees. I was then taken to the market district, where I was greeted by empty stalls, then to the library where Twilight and Trixie were still engaged in their amorous activities. After that, it was off to Carousel Boutique, which was empty, the front door swinging back and forth in the breeze. The alicorn turned her steely gaze to me once again. "Now you see what you have done to my little ponies!"

"I'm sorry, your Majesty! I had no idea it would go this far! What do you want me to do about this?" I asked in exasperation. Each teleport had me groaning in pain, though the Princess paid me no heed -- in fact, she seemed to express a degree of satisfaction upon seeing my discomfort.

"You taught them how to do it -- you must teach them how to un-do it," she replied, maintaining her stern expression.

"Ummm -- yeah -- I dunno how to do that, your Majesty -- that would be like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube after it's been squeezed out," I declared. I watched her visage darken further as her anger began to rise. "I'm sorry! I don't know what to do! About the only thing I could think of is to have Discord try to do something about it! He's the one who brought me here in the first place!"

"Hmm, yes -- he did say something about that ... so ultimately, HE is responsible for all this. Discord! Show yourself!" the alicorn commanded stridently. Less than two seconds after the words had left her lips, the tell-tale sound of a zipper announced the chaos entity's appearance.

"Well, hello there, Celly! And how are things going with you these days? How long has it been since Twilight last sent you a friendship report?" he chuckled.

"That's immaterial, Discord -- but I have a question for you. Why did you bring this human here? And can you help my little ponies stop boku-maruing with each other?"

"That's two questions, Celly -- and I believe I already told you I wanted to have some fun. I've been watching this human for quite a while, noticing what he's been doing in his home world -- his obsession with your ponies is what led me to satisfy my curiosity as to what might happen should one of his desires actually be fulfilled. As for your other question, I suppose I could influence your little ponies to stop boku-maruing with each other -- provided you let me have an opportunity to run Equestria for a week," he chuckled, an almost malevolent grin on his face.

"My sister and I remember quite well what you did when you were in charge, Discord -- and ceding control over Equestria to you for an entire week is out of the question. I would sooner have sex with you than allow that."

The draconequus flashed a wicked grin at that last mention. "You know what, Celly? I think I might be tempted to take you up on that offer! I will undo the damage done if you are willing to provide me with a little physical pleasure -- oh, and if you're concerned about my present appearance, I can change myself into a pony stallion for you, so as to facilitate a more, shall we say, pleasant experience for both of us?"

The alicorn paused for a few moments, mulling the possibility in her head. Discord continued to smile maliciously at her, even going so far as to lick his lips lustily in eager anticipation of her answer. "... You drive a hard bargain, Discord," she muttered in resignation, her head tilted downward and her ears lowered.

"Excellent!" he exclaimed jubilantly, clapping his paw and talon together.

"Umm, your Majesty, I can turn into a unicorn stallion as well, if --" I began before she fixed me with a very harsh stare.

"I'm quite familiar with your pony appearance, Michael -- and if I had wanted to do something with you while you were in that form, believe me, I would have required it of you," she responded icily.

"I believe you had wanted to boku-maru with me, if memory serves me correctly," I offered thoughtlessly. Her visage darkened further still, the intensity of her stare causing me to back away from her and shield my eyes with my right forearm.

"... I believe I should send you back to Trottingham -- you've done enough damage here, and any further utterances out of your mouth may serve to cause me to lose my temper. Trust me, Michael, you would not like to witness firsthoof what happens when I become truly angry," she noted coldly before enveloping me in her golden aura and teleporting me back to the milkmare's apartment, my stomach roiling once again with the nausea of teleportation.

Milky Way was pacing circles around the main room of her apartment, a look of extreme worry on her face when I suddenly materialized in the room, doubling over in pain and clutching my belly again.

"Michael! What happened?" she asked as she rushed to my side, placing a forehoof on my side. I felt the coolness of her hoof on my skin as I knelt on the floor, trying to rub away the sensation of nausea.

"The Princess teleported me back here, though I fear I may have angered her somewhat," I mused. "I still can't get used to that sensation -- it hurts almost as much as the reverse transformation from pony to human."

My lover responded by hugging me tightly around my back and cooing softly in my ear, whispering reassurances that she would always be there for me when I needed her. I turned around and hugged her to my chest, giving her a light kiss on her lips. It warmed my heart to see her blush and beam a big smile in reaction to my affection, causing me to kiss her again.

"Mmmh, I love your smile, my love," I uttered softly to her. Her smile seemed to widen further before she returned my kisses more passionately. The feeling of holding her close after three months of being strapped to a hospital bed caused tears of joy to trickle down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" she asked, a worried tone to match her expression. "Did I make you sad?"

"It's been far too long since I felt this happy, my love -- my tears come from being overjoyed to feel your love for me," I intoned softly, losing myself in the beauty of her eyes. I continued to hold her close, simply content to enjoy the sensation of her warmth against me. We remained in our embrace for quite awhile, not speaking a word, just gazing into each other's eyes, both of us simply smiling as the feeling of deep passionate love filled us. I decided to lay on my back and have her lay on top of me so we could share our warmth. About the only sounds we made were sighs of contentment as I tried to prolong the feeling as much as possible.

Our reverie was disturbed by a knocking at the door, though before allowing us to answer it, the door opened to reveal the draconequus, who grinned at us before he spoke.

"Miss Milky Way, I have returned for more milk," he stated simply before waving his lion's paw at her. She moaned a few times as he drained her of her milk once again. "Thank you once again, Milky! I'll be back in a few more hours for more," he added before leaving. The milkmare rose to her hooves and began trotting around slowly, stretching each of her legs to try to regain feeling in them. She flashed me a sheepish smile.

"It felt nice to be held like that, but my legs fell asleep. So where did the Princess take you? What's happened?"

"It was wrong of me to teach so many ponies how to boku-maru," I replied glumly. "Ponyville's become like a ghost town thanks to all that activity."

"What about my cousin? Did you get to see her?"

"No -- I was shown the bakery, the boutique, the farm, the library, and the market -- and everywhere I was taken, the scene was the same -- nopony to be seen, though some noises could be heard. I wonder how many ponies Rarity taught that technique," I mused.

"Michael, please don't talk about her any more -- why did you even try to be nice to her? She --" she began. I interrupted her by putting my right index finger on her lips and shushed her softly.

"I know, I know -- and I'm sorry, my love -- it's just that -- I feel responsible for making such a mess of things and I was wanting to do something to try to fix it -- though I remember Discord offering to fix it in exchange for a little sex with the Princess. Hmmm, I wonder what that's gonna be like," I grinned.

"... I don't even wanna know," the milkmare replied, rolling her eyes at me. "Why bother, anyway? If they're gonna have sex, let them -- and if it helps the situation, then let it be. Umm, why do I feel so strange all of a sudden?" she asked as a certain nausea overcame her. The same sense of nausea seemed to grip me as well and I groaned in response. The sensation dissipated as suddenly as it had arisen, but then another strange thing happened.

"Did you feel something like the snapping of a twig in your mind just now?" I asked, a look of worry on my face.

"What was that?" she asked, returning my look of concern with one of her own. "It feels like -- something's missing, like ... something I should know, but -- it's not there anymore."

"Hmm. Yeah, I felt the same thing -- I wonder what it was," I mused. "Oh well, I guess it couldn't have been too important," I added as I cuddled the mare in my arms, giving her another soft smile. "Mmm, so what are we doing today?"

"Um, I -- I was going to ask you to do something -- but -- I -- I can't remember what it was," she offered, giving me a puzzled look.

"Well, maybe we can do something else. I'm feeling kinda hungry -- you wanna go out for a bite to eat somewhere?" I asked.

"What kind of food do you like?"

"I dunno -- pizza, perhaps -- is there someplace close so we don't get separated again?"

"I like the idea of pizza -- I haven't had it in quite some time -- and I know the perfect place! It's not far from here."

I expressed a little disappointment at having to release the mare from my embrace, but since we were going to go out to eat, I had to get up and get dressed. Fortunately, my favorite clothes had been replaced, but I also noticed I had lost some weight while in the hospital and the clothes fit somewhat loosely on me. I picked out some coins from the bag and put them in my pocket before tying my shoes, a process which fascinated the milkmare. She watched with rapt attention as I finished, smiling at me.

"Amazing how you do that, Michael," she noted.

"If you were a human, you'd have to do the same thing -- unless you wear slip-on shoes -- most women do back on my home world," I answered, flashing her a quick smile. "Let's get going, love," I added as I stood up and stretched out. "I wonder if Discord's healing de-aged me as well -- feels like I'm full of energy right now."

"And you weren't before you came here?" she asked, giving me another puzzled look. I began to try explaining to her what my life had been like on my home world, but after just a few minutes, she shushed me. "Michael, please! Maybe we can talk about that some other time! Let's go get some food!"

"Sounds good to me," I announced before going to the door and opening it. A certain alabaster mare stood at the doorway, a soft smile on her lips.

"Going somewhere, darling?" she asked, her smile widening. I noticed her horn had been restored along with her previous beauty. The milkmare caught sight of the fashionista and glowered angrily at her. "Milky Way, darling, please! Let's put the past behind us! Surely we can both share his love?"

"What's gotten into you, Rarity? Why do you want my stallion so badly?"

"Because he proposed marriage to me first!"

I decided to step between the two mares before things escalated any further. "Ladies, please! Let's take a moment to cool down. Rarity, I thought you were going back to Ponyville," I half-said, half-asked. Milky Way continued to glare at Rarity while we talked.

"Michael, darling, I changed my mind -- I've decided I'd like to stay here in Trottingham! This nice blue unicorn mare offered me the key to apartment 1 fargle today! Isn't that lovely? We're going to be living in the same building! I'll get to see you every day!"

The milkmare's glower turned into a scowl. "Now just a minute! I don't want to be your neighbor, especially when it comes to MY stallion!"

"Shouldn't you ask him how he feels about this? Is it not wrong of you to simply make his decisions for him, dear? What if he wants to visit me once again?"

"What made you change your mind about Ponyville, Miss Rarity?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at the mare.

"When I got home, I found I was no longer welcome in Ponyville, darling! I took what little I could and came here, looking for a new home! That nice draconequus told me where you were staying, so I tracked down the landlord and made her an offer she couldn't refuse! I am so happy I'll get to see you every day!"

"Great," I replied in a flat monotone. "Just great."

"Michael, shouldn't we get going?" the milkmare asked, glaring at the fashionista.

"Where are you going, darling? I would like to accompany you," offered Rarity. "I'll buy us lunch if you'll let me come with you."

"Maybe we can hash things out over lunch and put our differences aside -- Rarity, did you feel something just a little while ago? A sort of stomach ache followed by a headache?" I asked.

"Now that you mention it, darling, yes I did! I wonder what it was -- well, it couldn't have been too bad, since I don't feel anything like that any more."

"You're not still going around killing ponies are you?" asked the milkmare, flashing an impish grin at having asked such a pointed question.

"Heavens no, darling! I -- I would never even think of doing something so terrible! Why would you ask me something so horrible?"

"Because Michael told me you tried to kill him a few months ago," she replied.

"Well -- there have been times where I was tempted to do so, simply because some ponies act like the worst sort of ruffians -- but -- to even bring myself to kill them? I don't have it in me to do that, darling! I'm hurt that you would even accuse me of something so terrible!"

"You know, I think that odd feeling that hit us a little while ago might have something to do with Discord -- and I think he might have cured Rarity of her murderous tendencies," I mused. "I'd be tempted to trust her a little more if she can prove she no longer has the urge to kill."

"I still don't trust her, Michael! What if she's just saying these things to persuade you she's changed? What if she hasn't changed at all and is just hiding her dark side?"

"I have nothing to hide!" the fashionista averred almost indignantly. "If you don't trust me, I'm sorry! What must I do to show you?"

"I dunno, Rarity -- I'm still somewhat troubled by what I saw back then. Perhaps we should discuss this over lunch," I offered.

"I still think she's up to something, Michael," the milkmare noted, still regarding the alabaster mare with suspicion.

"You have nothing to fear from me, Milky Way -- I can assure you I have no ill intentions. I would like to be a friend to both of you, if nothing else, darling."

"I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, Rarity. Every pony deserves a second chance. Michael, you said you wanted pizza? Let's get going," she implored.

We made our way down several blocks to an ordinary-looking storefront, one which was just a few doors down from the milkmare's store. We entered to see a number of ponies seated at tables enjoying their pizza. The aroma of the place made my mouth water, eliciting a broad smile on my face.

"Mmm, I haven't had pizza in months," i offered, flashing an impish smile.

"You're in for a real treat, then, Michael," the milkmare responded, returning my smile with one of her own. We took an empty table and waited for a server. While waiting, we struck up a conversation, returning to the previous topic we covered before we left the apartment building. We were provided with menus and finally reached agreement on a large pizza, salads for each of us, as well as a drink.

"Michael, darling, I hope you're willing to give me a second chance," the fashionista declared before taking a bite of her salad.

"Of course, Rarity -- I've already forgiven you for what you did to me earlier -- but as far as anything more goes, it's going to take some time," I replied. I savored the taste of the greens with a vinaigrette dressing, then washed it down with my sarsaparilla.

"Michael, I would hope you choose to stay with me and not leave me for her," the milkmare stated.

"Milky Way, my love -- you don't have to worry about that," I replied, giving the mare a soft smile.

"Michael, darling, if you ever get tired of her, or want a change of pace --" Rarity offered.

"Truthfully, I'm curious to see the two of you get it on with each other," I mused, earning a sly grin from the fashionista and a glare from the milkmare.

"My taste doesn't usually extend to mares, but if it turns you on, darling --"

"Michael! How could you?"

"Why not? Haven't you ever wondered what it might feel like?" I asked, gazing into the milkmare's emerald eyes. "Besides, it's not like I wouldn't be tempted to join in myself." I slipped my right hand behind the fashonista's left ear and gave her head a light scratching, eliciting a soft cooing from her. Simultaneously, I scratched the milkmare behind her right ear, earning a soft moan from her. "And I find the both of you to be irresistibly beautiful -- and maybe I wonder if we might be able to form a herd, if that's not too much to ask for."

"Mmmmh," Rarity offered, smiling broadly.

"Mmmmh," Milky Way replied, her eyes closed as she smiled as well. "Your touch --"

"Darling, I think we might be able to come to an amicable agreement on this," Rarity added.

"I think we can find some common ground," the milkmare sighed softly.

"Are both of you willing to share my love?" I asked as I continued to scratch both mares behind their ears.

"But Michael! Is my love not enough for you?" asked Milky Way as she opened her eyes and gave me an almost hurt look.

"Michael, darling, it would mean so much to me," the fashionista cooed softly.

"I don't see why you can't find something about Rarity to love, my love," I intoned softly, planting a light kiss on the milkmare's lips. "Besides, it's not like we won't be apart -- she can even stay with us, if you'd be willing to accept her."

"But -- I don't want her sleeping with you, Michael! I want you to sleep with me!"

"Why not let her sleep with both of us?" I grinned.

"Mmmmmmh, I dunno," she replied as it appeared she tried to decipher Rarity's expression. The fashioinista wore a big grin, her eyes showing very large.

"Milky Way, darling, I love your mane style! I'd like to try wearing mine like that," Rarity cooed.

"You know, Rarity, I like yours as well -- perhaps you could show me how mine would look in your style," she replied warmly. "Michael, I think you've talked me into it. Rarity, would you be willing to stay with us? We can share our love with you."

"Oooh, yes!" the fashionista exclaimed excitedly as she glomped the milkmare and kissed her passionately on her lips. Milky Way's eyes went wide with surprise before she relaxed and reciprocated Rarity's passion with equal fervor.

"Your pizza is ready," the server announced almost stiffly, placing it on the table, causing the two mares to blush in embarrassment.

"Oh, terribly sorry about that," Rarity offered sheepishly. Milky Way offered a similar sheepish apology before we began eating the pizza.

"Milky Way, my love -- I had no idea Equestrian pizza would taste so good," I commented after finishing my first bite. The combination of sauce, cheese, and crust was among the best I'd ever had. I tried to recall the last time I had enjoyed such a tasty pizza.

"My friend Brann Flakes told me about this place -- I had no idea it was so close to my shop! If I had known about it earlier, I could have traded my milk for pizza!" she giggled.

"Speaking of your milk, darling, would it be too much trouble for me to have a little of it?" the fashionista asked.

"Ahh, Miss Milky Way! Miss Rarity! Michael! So nice to see all of you getting along so well together!" chuckled Discord.

"What? When did you get here?" I asked, almost incredulously.

"Just now -- Princess Celestia is resting comfortably -- most likely, she'll be having my foal in about a year, give or take a month -- but you probably also know why I'm here, don't you? Miss Milky Way, I need some more milk, if you don't mind," the draconequus stated in matter-of-fact fashion. Without bothering to let her answer, he waved his lion's paw in her direction, eliciting a soft moan as he milked her gently once again.

"Discord, darling, please let me have a taste of it," Rarity requested.

"Oh, very well then," he replied, levitating a small glass of milk to her.

"We can't have a unified relationship without sharing ourselves, darling! Here's to us," the fashionista smiled, raising her glass before draining it, wiping her mouth with her right foreleg, then licking it.

"Miss Rarity, I thought you were a little more fastidious than that," I commented.

"I can act like a ruffian whenever I want to, darling!" she chortled in response.

"Here's to us," I announced, lifting my sarsaparilla before taking a drink.

"Here's to us," Milky Way offered half-heartedly, lifting her cider and taking a swig. "I just hope I don't regret making this decision."

We finished eating and paid the bill, leaving a nice tip for the server before making our way back. The early evening sky seemed to complement the mood, giving both mares a glowing warmth which seemed to accentuate their beauty. I commented on this just as we arrived back at our apartment building.

"You know, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship," I stated, before offering a chuckle. "You know, I've always wanted to say something really corny like that."

"Michael, darling, you are truly terrible," Rarity groaned.

"Really, my love?" the milkmare asked, annoyance coloring her words. I gave a big hearty laugh in response.

FIN