Ch 1
The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us through.
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end!
Canterlot Tower erupted in enthusiastic cheers and hoof stomps as the annual Canterlot Hearth's Warming Eve play concluded. As the curtains closed, our heroes, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, whooped and embraced at a job well done.
"Great job again, everypony!" Twilight Sparkle beamed as she congratulated her friends.
"So girls," Rarity purred, still flaunting her majestic Princess Platinum garb, "any other plans for tonight? The night is young, as they say."
"Umm, I'm not sure," Fluttershy piped up. "Performing in front of all those ponies really tired me out." She blushed a bit.
"Aww c'mon, Flutters, don't be that way!" Pinkie Pie asserted. "Didn't you know there's an afterparty? And we're invited? How could you say no to the opportunity of a lifetime to have a drink with the Princesses? At a Hearth's Warming Eve themed shindig, no less?" Pinkie shot up close to Fluttershy's face, causing the pegasus to mewl and shrink to the floor at the sudden closeness.
"A drink? Count me in!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
Twilight tilted her head. "Wait, a party? Why wasn't I informed? I thought we were just going straight home after we finished the play."
Applejack, who had been silent up until now, sauntered over to her friends and said, "I think the Princesses wanted to keep things on the down low because of what I smuggled in just for the occasion."
Rainbow Dash stared blankly for a moment before she divebombed Applejack into the floor. "Wait, don't tell me. You didn't ... did you!?"
"Mhmm~" Applejack hummed with a smirk. Rainbow Dash could barely contain herself.
"YOU BROUGHT CIDE-"
"Hush now, Dash! Don't want a mob starting up, now. Yeah, we busted out the ol' reserves to honor the holiday. After all, being a part of the Hearth's Warming Eve tradition in Canterlot has been one of the biggest honors for an Apple in a long time." She paused. "... Aside from being called a savior of Equestria a couple times, and such."
"Aww!" Pinkie Pie cooed, scooping up Rainbow Dash and Applejack in a bear hug and twirling about. "I love saving the world with you too!"
"Okay, okay," Twilight said as Pinkie tumbled to the floor with her pony cargo, "I'm fine with going if everypony else is too. I just wish Princess Celestia or Princess Luna told us about it."
"Oooh, maybe the Princesses have some super special awesome secrets they wanna pass along! Like the nuclear codes," Pinkie Pie giggled and waggled her eyebrows.
"The what now? Anyway," Twilight said, "we better get going before it gets too late. Where are we headed?"
Pinkie Pie heroically pointed her hoof into the distance. "To the Banquet Hall!"
Upon entry to the Banquet Hall, the Bearers were greeted by a diverse crowd of ponies from all classes and walks of life; it was unorthodox for Canterlot, but symbolic of the unifying power of the story of Hearth's Warming. The typical elites - Prince Blueblood (Rarity gagged), Fancy Pants (Rarity gawked), the Wonderbolts (Rainbow Dash gushed), and others, were joined by ponies of more humble backgrounds in equal numbers. Some of the ponies there raised their glasses to the Mane Six as they entered and congratulated them on the pageant. Aside from the rather hushed conversation, the occasional clink of goblets coming together in a toast, and this random obnoxious giggling mixed into the background, it was definitely a cozier affair the likes of Pinkie Pie was not acquainted with, or at least comfortable with.
"Aww, no music?" Pinkie pouted. "What kind of party has no music? I'll just have to fix that!"
Pinkie dashed off to Celestia-knows-where.
"Eh. Maybe she went to go find Pon-3," Rainbow Dash muttered with a shrug. She flew away to go find where the cider was flowing.
As Twilight Sparkle waded through the crowd of pony cliques, she soon spotted several uncorked barrels of the famous Sweet Apple Acres cider sitting out in the open, all of which were completely bone-dry.
"Hmm, it did seem like a lot of the ponies here were acting a bit more, erm, relaxed, already," Twilight murmured mostly to herself, her eyes ever shifty. "You would think they would wait around for the brewer herself to show up first. And what is with that giggling-"
Twilight nearly tripped over a magenta Earth pony sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep.
"Ech."
"No sweatin' the small stuff, Twi," Applejack said. "I'm glad our cider's enjoyed as much in Canterlot as it is back in Ponyville. At least some of these hoity-toity types have some taste."
"I resemble that remark," Hoity Toity spat as he glared at Applejack beneath his gaudy shades. Applejack pretended not to notice.
"Do you know how long the party has been going?" Fluttershy inquired. "That's an awful lot of cider gone..."
"The Princesses have a high tolerance for alcohol," chimed in Hoity Toity in his trademark cynical tone, suddenly appearing at Fluttershy's side. "It usually takes about that much to sway them. I would know. Besides, cider is not exactly the most, potent, shall we say?"
Applejack rolled her eyes.
"By the way, splendid costumes, Rarity, doll. Though, your genius was obviously constrained by the drab source material. Tragic, that."
"Why...thank you...?" Rarity forced a crooked smile, not sure how she was supposed to respond to that remark.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle was nearly having a fit at the alcohol revelation.
"Wait wait, are you saying that they - the Princesses I mean - drank all that cider themselves?" she squawked. Hoity was unmoved.
"Precisely. See for yourself." He melodramatically dipped his head in the direction of the head of the banquet table. It was then that Twilight Sparkle learned of the source of the incessant giggling since she and her friends had entered.
Splayed out across the table like a tranquilized goose was Princess Celestia. She would occasionally bicycle her legs in the air like a cartoonish wind-up toy and titter at some joke that never seemed to end. Princess Luna, on the other hoof, was draped across her sister's exposed belly and appeared to be snoring. The younger sibling was also wearing both crowns and chestpieces at once, the regalia stacked atop each other lazily.
Twilight Sparkle wrinkled her muzzle at the heavy aroma of alcohol seeping from the emptied barrels bordering the downed royalty.
"Just how much cider did you bring?" Twilight asked Applejack.
"Not enough, apparently," the farmpony teased.
Twilight turned to Hoity Toity, who was hovering nearby, amused at the ramping awkwardness.
"Is ... is this normal for them?"
"Mmm, to a degree," Hoity answered. "The flailing and the narcolepsy, certainly. The merriment is a tad unpleasant."
Twilight Sparkle slowly floated towards Celestia and Luna as if in a daze. With every giggle, snort, and belch, she bore witness to the very destruction of the idealized memory of the Princesses.
"Princess Celestia?"
Celestia immediately went stock-still and jerked her face in Twilight's position.
"Oh hi Twilight."
"Nyah!" Twilight yelped and fell on her rump from the sudden movement.
Celestia rolled off the tabletop with a grunt, Luna similarly slipping off as her makeshift bed got away from her.
"Oh, they are here?" Princess Luna murmured, yawning and rubbing at any eye with her forehoof.
"Come, my little ponies, we have been expecting you," Celestia said, and hiccuped. The royal sisters made their way to a staircase at the back of the hall, which Twilight understood would lead them to their private chambers.
"Wait, Princess!" Twilight called out and sprinted to their side, the others giving chase. "What's this about? Why are you drinking? What the hay is going on?"
"We believe some ponies nowadays call it 'liquid courage,' Twilight Sparkle," slurred Luna, a wobble in her step.
"Indeed," Celestia replied, "we were in need of some...persuasion so we would be prepared to let you girls in on some long forgotten secrets."
"I knew it!" Pinkie Pie squealed. Twilight rolled her eyes and followed along.
As the Elements of Harmony filed into Princess Celestia's private study, all Twilight could ponder about was the timing. Why now, on Hearth's Warming Eve? Why divulge something so confidential on such a joyous occasion?
When Twilight opened her mouth to speak her mind, Celestia held up her hoof in a gesture of silence. The subsequent change in her center of gravity led her to stumble over, and the Bearers quickly trotted over to try to help her up.
"My goodness, Princess Celestia! What has gotten into you?" Rarity berated.
Celestia seemed uninterested in standing up again, so she fell with a whump on the floor.
"Just a moment...would anypony like a drink?" Celestia muttered. Her horn lit up, and a nearby glass case opened, revealing a lineup of expensive wines.
"Hair of the dog, right sister?" Luna said, who was also flat on the ground at that point.
"Yes, dear Luna. My, you are just full of idioms tonight, aren't you...?"
"PRINCESS!" Twilight yelled, stomping a hoof. She was close to hyperventilating, not just from seeing her role models in such a decrepit state but from the tone in her own voice. That voice became caught in her throat, however, when she noticed that Princess Celestia was crying.
"Oh no, oh no, Princess, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's alright Twilight," groaned Celestia, tears running down her cheeks, "the blame is solely on me. On us. How distasteful, drinking ourselves into a stupor..."
Celestia motioned to a lone book sitting upon her vanity.
"I ... do not think we are mentally sound enough to speak on the matter tonight, at least completely, my little ponies," coughed Celestia, "but if you still choose to hear the truth, you must look inside that book. Everything I wanted to tell you is accounted for within. I will say one thing, though.
"Hearth's Warming. The story of the three pony tribes - the Earth ponies, the Pegasi, and the Unicorns - coming together in harmony, which culminates in the founding of Equestria."
"Frankly, my faithful student" - Celestia blinked through her tears - "it is all horseapples."
"WHAT!?" the Bearers erupted.
"Do not get me wrong; the story of Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Pansy is true, to an extent. They did tell stories and sing together in that freezing cave that night. However, Clover's magic alone was not enough to melt the ice."
"That was alllll us," Luna declared, rolling over and sticking her tongue out playfully.
Observing the floored expressions they were receiving, Celestia cleared her throat and closed her eyes, feeling the alcohol starting to take her into a black place.
"The book will elaborate. However, please be warned ... this account is not for the faint of heart, which is why I know you girls are strong enough to hear the full story. It will go into every single juicy detail." Celestia met the eyes of her sister. "Painstakingly."
The uneasyness brought on by that little glance between the Princesses was palpable amongst the Bearers. Twilight was more unnerved by Celestia's usage of the word "juicy."
"F-Faint of heart? Is it going to be...b-bloody?" Fluttershy whimpered.
"Not quite, fair Fluttershy," Luna answered, and promptly passed out.
By then, Twilight had already opened the book and had begun to read aloud.