A Warm Comfort
I am not sure how it even reached this point. *Shik* I wonder where along the way it came to this, but I am sorry. *Shik* I wonder if I could just take it all back. If I could give myself one more chance, could I have prevented this? *Shik* I am a liar. *Shik* Each time I heard that noise I felt a coolness pass over my being. *Shik* I just had to keep changing spots every once in a while or else the noise would get all gooey. *Shik* Mhmm… it is so warm… *Shik* Even warmer than the tears moistening my face. *Shik* A warmth that continued to fill my diaper. *Shik* I couldn’t stop. As long as that noise kept ringing it would continue to pour down my diaper. *Shik* That beautiful thick warmth filling my diaper to bursting... I hope it never stops. *Shik* That is why I can’t ever stop. *Shik*
***
It was a just another day. Well, umm… not really. Today I was going to meet with a new pony that moved into town and she seemed like such a nice pony. I met her in the market and she was coming over for dinner. I am so worried. I mean, it’s not like I hate having guests over, or anything like that. She was just so oddly imposing even though she was allergic to animals. Oh, Fluttershy, come on! Someone wants to be your friend; the least you can do is be hospitable! It isn’t like I can refuse, anyway. I already asked Angel and the others to leave for the night and I had already prepared dinner. I could only sigh. I guess I am just a bit nervous. I need to calm down. An odd thought filled my head. M-maybe there was time for that before she arrives.
I quickly finished setting the table and ran to my room. It was always hard for me to find the time to do this and it really embarrassed me but I always felt so happy. Opening my closet, I could see it, and warmness washed over me. I deeply inhaled the aroma lofting out of that tiny room. My tiny lungs slowly filled with its gentleness and my shaky breathing became steady. Reaching in, I pulled out one of the soft, white rectangles. I cuddled it in my hooves as it emitted a soothing crinkling noise. Some ponies would find my happiness to be a bit strange, but I love it.
I never really understood how I became like this. One day, I just woke up and all of a sudden I had these odd feelings about diapers. Being near a diaper and holding it always gave me such comfort. Actually, being able to wear one- *shiver* T-that was something I really loved. I was saddened that nopony could understand how warm inside I felt when I wear one. I sigh as I put my diaper away. “My diaper.” *shiver* Being able to say that; it made me so happy. For now, I had to get ready to meet my guest.
I headed downstairs once again and checked the table to make sure our meal was ready. It wasn’t much, but I hoped she likes it. I exhaled sharply. I needed to calm down; everything was going to be okay. I could actually feel myself smiling in anticipation. No matter how upset or stressed I was, a trip to my closet always perked me right up. Thoughts of wearing later tonight filled my head. No matter how meeting this new pony went, I knew I would have fun tonight.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
“OH MY!” I must have gotten lost in my thoughts again! I quickly rushed to the door, calmed myself down once more, and opened it. Looking through the doorway I could see her once again. Serra. I had met her just this morning. She was an earth pony with a baby blue coat and white mane. She looked so beautiful standing in the market. I couldn’t help but stare at her. After she caught me, we talked for a bit and I invited her over for dinner. Well... it was more like she invited herself. I haven’t met anypony as determined as she was to come over since Pinkie Pie, but she seemed nice enough. There was one thing about her that still bothered me. Well, um… two things. The first was her eyes.Those emerald green eyes wouldn’t stop following me. They were so cold. So scary. The other was her cutie mark; it was a knife. Serra explained to me that she was a chief and her cutie mark showed that. I knew I was being silly and shouldn’t judge anypony like that.
“Hello! Earth to Fluttershy!”
My thoughts were broken as Serra called out to me. “Oh, um… H-hello Serra. Thanks for coming over.”
“No problem. Thanks for having me.” She stopped for a moment to inhale the air. “Ahh~ that smell… Um! Your cooking, I mean. It smells delicious!”
“Oh, thank you.” That’s strange. Everything I made was raw. There couldn’t be any smell. Wait! Could she have been… No. Don’t be silly, Fluttershy. She was probably nervous and wanted to be hospitable and here you are being a big meanie. “Oh, where are my manners? Please come in!”
***
*Shik* As the blade connects with the pony, the warmth no longer flows into my diaper. There is no more warmth in this vessel. I drop the pony; it is useless now that it’s cold. Its warmth disappeared, but I know where its warmth went. Sitting down on the cold ground, I can feel it. Its warmth is now in my diaper. I can feel the heat of my diaper pouring into my body. I no longer feel cold and alone. I press into it with my hoof. As long as I have my diaper on, I am happy. I sit further back, pressing the mass in my diaper. Soon the heavy diaper forms a warm, wet seal against me. I deeply inhale the night time air. As it fills my lungs, I am calmed by the scent of the air saturated with that soothing smell of iron.
***
“Thanks again for inviting me over. I really hope we can become close friends.” The mare looked at me, smiling.
She was so happy to be here with me and all I have been doing was thinking bad things about her. It was about time I started acting like somepony that deserves a friend as nice as her! “Oh, it is no problem at all. Just come this way and we can have dinner.” I made sure to smile as I spoke. I shouldn’t be rude.
“That sounds great.”
As we walked in, I could see her peering around every corner of my home. I hoped it didn’t upset her. We quickly made it to the dining table and began to eat. All throughout dinner Serra seemed distracted. Her eyes kept looking around my home. I tried to talk to her, but even while she spoke she wouldn’t stop scrutinizing every corner of my house. It made me feel really uncomfortable. I knew she was new in town, and must be scared being all alone, but I thought I should ask her to go home. As we both finished our plates I decided to ask her. “Hey, Serra. It was great having you over and I hope we can do it again sometime.” Her vacant eyes stopped spinning around. She stared right at me, acting nervous. I was scared.
“Oh uh... D-do I have to leave so soon? I just really wanted to get to know you, Fluttershy.”
There it was again; even when I asked her not to come tonight, she was really adamant about getting her way. I needed to put my hoof down and tell her to leave. “I am sorry Serra but I think you should leave for tonight.” As I said this she stood in front of the door, blocking me.
“Please, Fluttershy! Wait! Truth be told, I have been really interested in getting to know you. I just want to talk.”
“W-what d-d-do you mean, you’ve been interested in knowing about me?” Something was very wrong here. I could feel my breathing speed up. “Have you been w-watching me!?”
“Please, don’t be afraid. I’ve just been keeping my eye on you. I saw you a few weeks ago buying something. I have wanted to meet you ever since. You see, we are a lot alike, especially after what I have seen. So, how about we just sit down and talk?”
OH CELESTIA!!! Sh-she’s been stalking me… I was hyperventilating. This can’t be happening. I was all alone with somepony that wanted me all alone. I could only curse myself. Why was I so naive? I’m not stupid; I knew something was wrong about her. So why did I do this? Why didn’t I refuse? Why did she have to remind me so much of myself!? I knew the answer, and it was that answer that hurt me so much. She figured me out by spying on me. I felt so broken and so scared… I needed to run! I have to escape! “G-go Away!” I began to back up towards my room.
She looked so upset, hearing me say that. “Wait, Fluttershy. I think I may have come on a bit too strong. Can we please talk about this, like friends?”
Friends!? Oh no. This couldn’t be happening! She looked like she was thinking of something. I didn’t know what her intentions are, but they couldn’t be good. I needed to make her leave. “S-serra, couldn’t you plea-”
“Oh, I know! Now that we are friends, I should tell you my full name!”
“Y-your full name!?” What was this morbid curiosity, and why hadn’t I already tried to escape?
She nodded her head and smiled at me. “Yeah! My full name is a bit embarrassing, but I have to admit my parents did a pretty good job guessing my future hobby. My name is Serrated Knife!”
***
As I look over that that empty shell, I can tell it wasn’t that same pony from earlier. She was so nice, so warm. That doesn’t matter because now, we can be together. We can be so much closer than I could have ever hoped for. I press harder into my sodden diaper. Her happiness, her beauty, and her warmth are no longer in that body; they had left her long ago. Everything about her, her very being, are now contained within my diaper. It holds her so well and so close. I have to. I am so sorry, but I need to. *crinkle* I run my hooves up and down my engorged diaper rhythmically. *crinkle* My eyes affix to her.*crinkle* She is so beautiful, oh so beautiful.*crinkle* I need to keep doing it, I can’t stop. *crinkle* I can feel every muscle screaming, my head drifting, and my breathing quickening. So much pleasure. I am sorry. I feel my mind flooding. I can’t control my legs. They squeeze together. I can feel it seeping out of the padding, coating me. Dyeing me. She is perfect. Don’t worry, I promise I will give you back all the warmth you gave me. I will be there for you, so please just stay with me. For just a little longer.
***
My mind was blank. I-I couldn’t even think anymore. I needed to run. I had to run! I looked around and noticed she was blocking the door. I had no choice. I turned around and ran. All I could see was my room. With no place to go, I jumped under my bed, waiting for the inevitable. My heartbeats were deafening and my breathing was thunderous. She was going to find me. I could hear her approaching, her hoofsteps getting closer with each passing second. Closer and closer. I closed my eyes as her hoofsteps reached my room. I don’t know what she was planning, but I doubted it was anything good.
“Hey, Fluttershy. Come out, please.” Her footsteps stopped.
This was it, I was a goner. Then I could hear her sniffing the air. She began to move away from my bed. I opened my eyes to see her as she walked over to my closet. Oh no, anything but that! She opened the door and stood still, staring at the contents. That strong aroma filled the room again and I knew I was in trouble.
“Oh, wow. I knew I could smell it off her!”
I began to whimper. It was all I could do. It didn’t matter anymore. I was better off dead now that my secret was out. I am pretty sure she heard me, as I saw her quickly close my closet.
“Wait! Fluttershy, is that you? I am sorry, I just want us to talk. There was a reason I started following you in town. It was because last month I secretly saw you buy some diapers from the store in town. I knew I had to find you and I had to meet you. So, please come out, Fluttershy.”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no… She continued to speak but I couldn't hear her anymore. I began crying. It was all over. She knew all about me and it was going to end like this. I began to back up further under my bed until I felt my hoof brush over something. I reached over and pulled out a baseball bat. I hadn’t seen this since Rainbow Dash tried to get me to play sports with her weeks ago. This was it, my one chance to escape. I needed to do this. I rushed out from under the bed and held the bat firmly in my hooves, facing Serra.
Seeing the bat, she had a firm look on her face. Her eyes burned me as they looked at my pitiful self. “Fluttershy. Put the bat down.” I shook my head and clenched it tighter. “Listen, Fluttershy. Put it down, and let’s talk about this.” I could feel the tears in my eyes, all that confidence and courage broken in just a few seconds. I could feel my grip on the bat loosen, my hoof shaking. Then, all of a sudden, it became straight, as if someone else had taken that moment of weakness to grab on. I became scared. The last thing I could see was that contorted smile. My eyes went wide. *Crack* Everything was dyed red.
***
I begin to make my way back. From the distance, I can hear the sound of the animals crying into the darkness. I am sure they will enjoy the delicious treat I left them. In the darkness of this cool crisp night, I am perfectly content. As long as I have my diaper on I am safe from anypony. With each step, my diaper continues to rub against me, transferring more of her warmth into me. She is a great friend. No matter how long or scary the trip back, she continues to offer me support and comfort. As I continue to walk, I realize something is horribly wrong, something that leaves me terrified. I stop dead in my tracks as I realize my diaper is cooling. I am overwhelmed by sadness. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I have been such a bad friend. I promised you that I would be there for you. I won’t quit. I will give it back to you. I will be there for you. I promise.
***
I was running, running for my life. Oh, Celestia! Why did it come to this? Why did I try to be her friend. She swung that bat and my head screamed in pain. I needed to escape. I needed to get as far away from her as I could. If I didn’t move at the last second I don't think I would have made it. The scenery was pitch black and the constant fear of the wild animals left me afraid for my life. Especially that deranged mare. Why did we have to have diapers in common? Why did I have to like diapers!? If I never went to town that day, none of this would have happened. I continued to rush through the darkness, trying to put as much distances as I could between me and that mare.
Looking back, I could see she was no longer in my line of sight. I needed to rest. I sat down by a large tree. I could hear the branches below me snap. I just needed to rest for a little bit. Then I could get my bearings and escape this nightmare. I needed to make it back to town and get help before she found me. I looked up at the sky, noticing how the stars continued to move, even though I had stopped. There was that unbearable ringing, and the pressure in my head was rising. It was obvious I had a concussion; I needed to make it to town before I passed out. Even in my dazed state I could still discern the vivid landscape and make out where I needed to go next.
It may have been my loose grip on reality and my nausea, but I began to cry at the prospect of being able to break free. I had to keep quiet, so it took all my effort to silence myself to a silent sob. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure. As I did, I could feel a little bit of the pain in my skull decrease. I knew that I could do this, I could escape! Getting up, I continued to walk in the darkness, making sure to make as little noise as possible. Why did she remind me so much of myself? Why? I couldn’t keep looking back. I needed to keep moving forward. My mind was fuzzy from the hit, but I began to recall the scene. That bat in her hooves and that deformed smile on her face, despite her smile looking so soft.
It had taken me a long time, but I had managed to reach the clearing. The moonlight never looked so beautiful. As its light radiated on me, I felt calm. I could escape. Walking forward, I felt a bit of hesitation. That mare… Somewhere in the deep chasm of my mind I wondered if she was okay. I knew I was insane for considering her well being, but right then I didn't feel angry at her. As my body basked in that brilliant light, I could hear something odd. It sounded like the wind. Before I could react, I felt it once more. *Crack* That light faded.
***
I begin to concentrate. I can feel the hot liquid and hot mass begin to build up inside of me. I need to do this for her. I need to be there for her. I can feel my insides relax as the hot liquid pours out. Soon, the front of my diaper is restored with warmth. I then push harder; I need to, for her. I feel my tail lift up as the hot mass begins to fill my diaper. My warmth, her warmth, our warmth. It all mixes together. The yellow, brown, and red all churns into one, coagulating against my coat. I feel happy once again, and I am sure she is happy too. I told her I would be there for her, and I am. I sit down once again. As the heat spreads through my diaper, it revitalizes each part of her. I begin to rub her once again. This time, she doesn’t emit a sound. She no longer needs to resist me now that I have shown her I am a true friend.
***
As I woke, I saw her standing above me. She looked so satisfied. So happy. I was jealous; why does she only smile when I cry? Why couldn’t we both be happy, together? Even as this fear took hold of me and tore into my being, I couldn't help but notice her standing there in a diaper. She must have taped it on before she came after me. I smelled the scent of foal powder coming from her. Even then that smell soothed me. As she stood there, diapered, with the moon shining above her, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. Looking at me with those soft eyes, she brought the bat up, eclipsing the moon. For that brief moment, I could see a faint hollowness in her expression. I was afraid. I missed that softness. My mind almost screamed at her to swing the bat down, just so I could see it again.
*Crack* “Ahhhhhhh!” I screeched into the night air. My body spasmed. Excruciating pain radiated from my front right hoof, its intensity magnified by the hollowness in my head. Looking at my hoof through the tears I could see the whiteness of my bone sticking out; it was badly broken. “I am sorry! I am sorry! I am sorry!” I just wanted her to stop. I looked at her. I could see that smile on her face. She was so excited as she lifted the bat again. I could no longer move; this really was it for me. “P-please stop!” I could only weakly spew those words as she swung the bat down into my stomach. *Crack* Oh Celestia! Oh- “Bllluuhhhhh...!” I couldn’t do much as I began to vomit, I could only manage to turn my head as I continued to retch. As it began to subside I began to cough violently. *Crack* “AHHHHHH!”
***
She continued to scream. When she turned to throw up, I managed to cave part of her skull in. I had never felt so amazing! I exhaled. I could almost see the hot miasma pouring out of my mouth. Every screech, every twitch of pain; it all made me feel so alive! This feeling was so familiar, yet so foreign. I couldn’t help but laugh at her and how pitiful she looked. Her left eye was almost completely shut and she was convulsing. *Crack* I brought down the bat again. This time I had connected with her right eye. A thick, cloudy fluid poured from the hole that contained fragments of her ruptured eyeball. As I looked at her, there in the moonlight, I was entranced by her visage. But her breathing? It was so irritating. I swung the bat down. *Crack* Her body jumped, and she started crying harder. She began to choke on her own tears and began to cough. Then I saw it. I was left breathless. I must have punctured her lungs; she began to violently cough out that crimson fluid. Droplets splattered all over my diaper. I ran my hoof along the outside, soaking up the warm fluid on my hoof. It was amazing. I ran my blood soaked hoof down my face. The smell, the feel. Everything about it was... was…
*Crack* I brought it down once again, but she didn't scream that time. I felt my bladder release, soaking the inside of my diaper. She continued to spew blood on me. I felt so warm on the outside and on the inside. I had never felt like this before in my life. It was perfect. She was sobbing and no longer begged for her life. She only cried and shared her warmth with me. I could feel her within her scarlet droplets. *Crack* I brought it down again. This time, I felt coolness overtake my being, only to be warmed by that red sticky fluid and my diaper. As I looked down at my diaper, I pressed on it and realized something. I looked down at her face. She was still conscious, barely holding on to what little life she had. I ran my blood stained hoof along her face, wiping away her tears. She looked so afraid. But why? I was so happy, but she was so sad. “What’s wrong?”
Her sobbing was so violent. Her mouth was coated in her own blood. She looked so helpless, just lying there. She looked at me with her one good eye, pulsating and bright red from all the hemorrhaging. Her vision must have been obscured by the heavy swelling. “I-I *hic* j-just w-w-wanted to-to be y-your *hic* f-friend. W-why?”
“My friend?” So she always wanted to be there for me. I-I felt so touched. I just never realized how much she cared about me. I felt the tears in my eyes build up and I began to cry. I didn’t deserve such an amazing friend like her. The hot tears ran down my face, burning it. They fell onto her cheeks, wetting the dried blood. The least I could was let her be my friend. ...no, that would never be enough. I smiled. I was so happy. To be able to say I had a friend as amazing as her! I looked down at her, looking so frightened. “Thank you.” I picked up my bat. “Thank you.” *Crack* “Thank you.” *Crack* “Thank you so much!” *Crack* “Thank you for everything!” *Squish* “I could never deserve a friend like you!” *Splish* “But I will always be there for you!” *Squelch* “I promise.” I heard her as I brought the bat down each time. Her tender gargling, her heartfelt gasps for air, and her tearful sobbing. I was so moved by how much she cared about me and how much she wanted to comfort me in my emotional state. With my last swing, she stopped, and I was happy. She understood there was no need for words to describe what we had. I understood her and she understood me. That was our silent vow in the darkness, regarding a friendship deeper than anypony could ever understand.
I dropped my bat. I no longer needed it. We were friends now. I looked her over. Her face caved in, her teeth shattered, her limbs broken, her chest deformed, and her coat and mane matted in her wet blood. Nopony else could probably tell she was once a pony. I didn’t care what other ponies would say about you. You are my friend. I picked up her body, cradling it. She was so warm. I could tell that warmth, happiness, sadness, kindness, fear, and tenderness would all fade away if I didn’t act fast. I placed her back down against a tree, being very careful to prevent anymore of her from spilling out. I ran back to a nearby bush and took out the bag I brought with me. I pulled out a large knife and approached her once again. She looked so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight like that. I sat down next to her and held her once again. I loosened the tapes on my diaper slightly. I embraced her as I took the knife and plunged it into her. *Shik* Her blood oozed into my diaper, bringing with it her warmth. *Shik* Everytime I heard that noise, I felt my diaper swell. It swelled with her blood and her warmth. I felt so happy right then. Those feelings that I couldn’t understand began to overflow. *Shik* I could feel the warm tears fall off my face. I was happier right then than I ever was in my entire life. She was perfect. *Shik*
***
It’s a long walk, but I have finally made it back to the cottage. It’s still late and I am tired. I should get some sleep while the sun is still down. Walking through the house, my diaper squelched with every movement. I press against it. She is still so warm. I slowly make it to in the bedroom, standing next to the bed. I open the closet once more and the aroma of foal powder fills the room. I leave it open, as I stand next to the bed. I relax, and let my bladder once again warm my diaper. So wet, so squishy, so warm; yet she holds it all. I smile. I am so happy. I know that I have to get ready to continue into town tomorrow and buy some more diapers. Inhaling the air, soaked in the warmth of my diaper and the comfort of the foal powder, I feel immense comfort. Tired by the day’s events, I can feel the allure of sleep take over. I am sure I will need a change in the morning. I slowly get into my bed and drift off to sleep.