My Son, Rainbow Dash
Every father should love his children, whether they ended up the way they wanted them to, or not. Every father should be proud of their children for their accomplishments, even if the reasons for those accomplishments are due to an ill-conceived ideal. Every father knows deep down in their heart that if their children truly love them, they will do whatever they can to make them happy. I ended up in all three positions with my own child. The mare I raised myself. My son, Rainbow Dash.
I was rushing my dear wife to Cloudsdale General Hospital, for after being pregnant with our first foal, she was finally going in labor. Judging by the way the foal kicked so actively and frequently, I knew it would be rambunctious, possibly even a star athlete when it grew up. This excited me, as well as my wife. It was only two minutes after she was placed in her hospital bed that our foal finally came into Equestria kicking and screaming, quite literally. The beautiful white mane, faded cyan coat, and rose eyes were a marvel to say the least. It was the very first thing the doctor said afterwards that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
"Congratulations, Rainbow Blaze, on your beautiful daughter."
"Daughter?" I ended up with a filly instead of the colt that I wanted, and although it warmed my heart to know that my family would continue into the next generation, at the same time, my warm heart sank, knowing that I could not uphold my family tradition in good faith. What is this tradition? Before I get into that, I should share some family history.
The "Rainbow" part of my name is no mere coincidence. I'm a descendant of a pegasus stallion from centuries ago known only by the name "Rainbow". He was infamous for being the first pony in Pegasopolis to have a naturally-colored rainbow mane and tail. He was mocked for his difference. Sure some ponies had two colors in their manes and tails, some even three or more, but a full rainbow was unheard of, and quite frankly, ponies thought he was considered a freak of nature for it. In that time, medicine had not yet evolved to allow for DNA testing, so to this day the reason for his natural colors has yet to be discovered. In his early life, he was humiliated by his peers, some calling him abusive names like "colt-cuddler" or "clopper", and others simply avoiding him entirely, because they believed his unusual coloring to be the result of some contagious or incurable disease. He never made any friends in his foalhood, so he became quite introverted.
It was when he reached his stallion stage that everything changed for him. He was still a blank flank, since the lack of ambition from all the ridicule left him feeling hopeless, even lost. He was about to end it all by taking his own life, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby rock formation. Nopony knows why, but from what I've been told he immediately flew towards it, as if he was meant to help out. He noticed that a mare had been flying low, and a rock slide had caused her to get her wing caught under. With nopony to save her, he conjured all the strength he could muster, and pushed the rocks out of her way. The mare's wing hurt like the dickens, but she was grateful for the fact that he saved her life. She reached to hug him, and he looked towards his hindquarters, to see that his cutie mark had finally appeared, and turned out to be a simple rainbow. He ended up learning that her name was White Dash.
The exact story of what happened afterwards was sort of lost through generations, but we do know that later in their lives the two married and had a colt of their own, which they named Rainbow Hurricane. The colt heard about what happened with his parents, and decided that he wanted to be a hero like his father, so when he became old enough to leave his parents, he started traveling alone, trying to find a way to recreate himself in his father's image. He ended up coming across a magical waterfall (according to the story passed down to me), and when he walked through it, the gray mane and tail he had been born with had turned a rainbow color. He thought that if he could look the part, then he could make his father proud by following in his hoofsteps. However, he didn't want to be ridiculed by the same misfortunes that plagued his father, so whenever he went out in public, he'd find some soot or dirt to mask the color. He was able to successfully keep up the charade, even in front of his parents, and he eventually joined the Pegasopolis military, and rose through the ranks, finally earning the title "Commander Hurricane". It was when he gave his speech upon acceptance of his rank that he said the one line that has become a family motto.
"If it wasn't for my father, I would not be where I am today. For that reason, I owe him this revelation."
Hurricane removed his helmet, and his rainbow mane was exposed. Everypony was shocked, especially his father. Hurricane expected jeers from his fellow soldiers, and disappointment from his father, but he received a standing ovation instead. Everypony clapped for him, saying that it takes a brave stallion to admit such a secret after so much time. Hurricane had finally done what his father never could; he brought glory to the rainbow manes. Hurricane never forgot the location of that waterfall he found, and it has become a secret only we Rainbows know about. Hurricane ended up having a colt of his own, and took him to the same waterfall to give him a rainbow mane. His generation followed, and so on and so forth. Each generation had one colt, and no other foals, each generation seeming to outperform the last, and passing down the story of Rainbow and Hurricane to the next.
Now, here I was, with a daughter. I couldn't accept this, not after family tradition had been upheld for centuries.
Unfortunately, my wife passed away soon after giving birth to my daughter. The doctors said that my daughter was so much of a kicker during my late wife's pregnancy that it left her with too much physical trauma to bear. I tried to cover up my shame by telling everypony who asked about my foal that I had a son, but I knew how terrible of a liar I was, and the nerves I experienced from anticipation of others finding out the truth, coupled with the grief of losing my lovely wife, only made it worse. It came to the point where I simply refused to talk to anypony, and even isolated myself from everypony I knew, raising my foal in secrecy. I lived in denial for the next several years, even referring to my foal, who I eventually named Rainbow Dash, as my son.
When Rainbow Dash was two years old, I could no longer live with myself for not trying to keep up family tradition. If I couldn't have the son I wanted, I'd at least cover all the same practices previous generations of my family had performed. I personally flew her to the secret waterfall, and walked her through it, turning her snow-white mane and tail into a rainbow color in the process. A few days after, she started speaking her first words. I then taught her the family motto, and she knew it by heart within only a few months. She was a smart filly, learning the vocabulary of the average mare, as well as incredible flight abilities, by the time she was only 8 years old. I decided at that point to homeschool her. Maybe I wasn't the most qualified teacher in Equestria, in fact any school in Equestria probably would've fired me if they saw my academic record, but I was still so overcome with shame from having a daughter that I couldn't risk having anypony find out the truth. A moment of relief came for me when I noticed that she started acting tomboyish, which of course meant she developed colt-like personality traits, like I would have expected out of a son. Maybe if she could try to pass herself off as a colt, I could finally uphold my family tradition. It was when she was about 10 years old that she told me the best thing I had ever heard to that point.
"Daddy, I want to sign up for summer flight camp. I want to be a great flyer like you, Daddy."
The joy I heard from Rainbow Dash wanting to follow in my hoofsteps was overwhelming, to say the least. My son wanted to be a great flyer, just like me. I immediately sent a letter to the flight academy, telling them I want them to enroll Rainbow Dash in their summer program. They sent me a letter back saying she got the last spot for the summer, and I was thrilled to bits. I was, of course, nervous about the other colts, the actual colts, finding out that my son is really a daughter, so after all this time, I finally told her the truth.
"Rainbow Dash, I have to confess something to you. You're not actually a colt. You're really a filly."
Since I never gave her the chance to socialize with other ponies her age, it didn't surprise me that she seemed to meet my revelation with disbelief, even laughing it off. She told me that I really need to start telling better jokes, and I chuckled in response. I was relieved that I was able to get that off my chest, but still worried about other ponies finding out. The day came for her to arrive at flight camp, so I flew with her over to the academy, where I told them that my son, Rainbow Dash, was one of the enrolled students. They took her in, and I said my goodbyes to her, praying to Celestia for the best for her.
I spent the next month by myself, contemplating how I had handled Rainbow Dash so far. I realized that I may have come off as desperate, or even greedy, trying to make a son out of a filly, who probably should have been raised like the daughter she's supposed to be. I started beating myself up, sometimes literally, over the fact that I royally messed up, and gave my son an unnatural life that shouldn't have turned out the way it did. My misery came to a brief end when I was given a letter, inviting me to the conclusion ceremony, as a VIP. I wasn't sure why I received this, since Rainbow Dash never wrote to me, but I felt honored that they wanted me to attend my son's ceremony with such prestige. I came to the ceremony the next day, and they announced that Rainbow Dash had the best performance out of all the young ponies, even besting the ones who returned from previous years. I started to tear up with pride, but what came next changed everything for me. She was told to give a speech, and her words struck at my heart like a dagger.
"If it wasn't for my father, I would not be where I am today. For that reason, I owe him this revelation. Daddy, I know I'm a filly. I thought you were kidding at first when you told me, but when I met the other ponies here, they figured it out for me really quickly. I was embarrassed, and wanted to quit early on, but I stayed, because I knew you'd be proud of me if I stuck it out, and did my best. You called me your son all of my life, and now I know why. You wanted me to be better than the other colts. You wanted me to show how even a filly like me can be an amazing flyer. You wanted me to make you, and the academy proud. I'm not mad, Daddy, in fact, it's because of you that I had the ambition to make it this far. If you still want to call me your son, I won't mind at all. Thank you again, Daddy."
Rainbow Dash had just revealed to everypony that I had been calling her my son all her life. She was ready to tell everypony the truth before I could even plan out how I would. I was just about ready to fly away in tears from shame, but when she finished giving her speech, they all applauded, not just for her, but for me as well. They said great things about how I wanted to disprove gender roles and stereotypes, and I should be considered a leader for it, even if my methods are somewhat unorthodox. I was asked to give some words myself, but I was so overcome with conflicting emotions, that I couldn't say another word. After the ceremony concluded, I took her back home, and told her about how proud I was of her. She seemed really tired that night, so she put herself to bed, and I was alone with my thoughts for the rest of the night.
The next morning, she told me all about her experience at flight camp. She had met a lot of new friends, found some ponies she didn't get along with, and even earned the respect of all the counselors and instructors there. She even wanted to come back again the following year, so she could serve as a role model for the first-timers. I don't know if that newfound leadership came from her tomboyish side or just plain old ambition, but either way I liked the way she thought. I kept her up with her studies and flight skills for another year, and signed her up again that summer. It was when she returned that time around that, not only had she received her cutie mark, but she gave me her best news yet.
"Dad, I want to be a Wonderbolt someday."
Apparently this year the academy was lucky enough to have been paid a visit by none other than the Wonderbolts, Equestria's flying elite. Rainbow Dash must have been inspired by their visit, because she even brought home a poster for the Wonderbolts, and set it up in her room immediately. I had never seen her so set on one goal in her life. I told her that if that's what she wanted to do, I wouldn't try to stop her. For the next five years, I decided to shift her studies more towards flying than anything else. She created her own obstacle course in the clouds, and would train on it day and night. A few times she did overwork herself, and one or two visits to the hospital were in order, but nothing stopped her from trying to achieve her dream. It was after those five years that my most bittersweet moment with her ever had come.
She was 16 years old, and I was still referring to her as my son. She decided she wanted to get her own home, in Ponyville. I thought it was a little early for her, since she was still too young to be considered a mare, but she had developed quite the stubborn demeanor during the previous few years, and I grew to know that when she has her mind set on something, there's no changing it. I decided that there was no point in arguing with her, and I went with her to find a home in Ponyville to her liking. We eventually came across a house with a large, yet simple interior, with blue walls and flooring, and she thought it was perfect. It was then that I told her that if this was the house she wanted, then I'd help pay for it, and she could live there, because that's what I'd want out of my son. Then... she recited the family motto to me for the second time.
"If it wasn't for my father, I would not be where I am today. For that reason, I owe him this revelation. Dad, remember how I said I know I'm a filly back at my first ceremony at flight camp? Well, I may have told a little lie. You see, I actually knew I was a filly all along. The whole time, since Mom passed away. Living only with you, I came to see the difference between fillies and colts, and learned what I am right away. I wanted to tell you about it, but then you told me about the family tradition, and I didn't want to ruin that for you. I pretended that I genuinely thought I was a colt for years, so I could be the son you always wanted. Heck, that's why I started acting like a tomboy. I even made up that speech at the ceremony just to keep the charade on. I'm sorry I lied to you for so many years, but I only did to make you happy. And look where I am now. I'm prime Wonderbolt material, I can even out-fly you now, and here I am getting my own home. I'm glad you raised me the way you did, and if you still want to call me your son, that's fine with me. If it makes you happy, then it does for me too. Thanks, Dad."
Once again, I was left speechless. All I could do is cry tears of mixed emotions, as I gave her a hug. At that point, I realized that she's her own pony, and it was time I treated her as such. I helped her move her stuff from our home into her new house, and within a week or so, she was fully settled in. She was now independent. She did visit me occasionally, in fact she still does to this day, but she's her own mare now, and I couldn't be happier for her.
Ever since she moved into her own house, and started living in Ponyville, I've seen her truly blossom into the mare she deserved to be. She started making new friends, including Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle. She finally came to accept her inner mare by modeling some of her friend Rarity's dresses, and assisting with Pinkie Pie's parties, and she even has her own pet. I can tell she's still proud of her stallion lineage though, as she took it upon herself to play the role of her ancestor, Commander Hurricane, in the Hearth's Warning Eve pageant, and by showing up the colts yet again at the Young Flyers competition. Along with that, she recently became a member of the Wonderbolts Reserves, as well as one of Princess Twilight's co-rulers in her castle. I can now say without shame that I consider Rainbow Dash my daughter. Sure she still lets me refer to her as my son if I want to, but as of lately, I haven't felt the need to.
I started out thinking Rainbow Dash was the daughter I shouldn't have had, and now she's come to be the daughter I love more than anything in the world. I may have given her an unnatural, possibly even unhealthy foalhood, but in her current position, I think it was all for the best. She's happy where she is, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Rainbow Dash, if you ever read this, I want to say one thing to you. Thank you for teaching me that it isn't about whether you're a filly or a colt, but whether you can make the mare and stallion that raised you proud. You certainly have for me. You may be the first mare in the Rainbow family, but you've made your father proud, just like every generation before you, so I don't think our ancestors will mind. I love you, Rainbow Dash, my daughter.