A young Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's love continues to blossom among the realities of entering adulthood and becoming a princess.
It's been a year since fourteen year old Princess Cadance left Canterlot and the colt she loves. When she returns, she needs to face the realities of becoming a princess and how that will affect the relationships around her. It is a reunion not without its share of difficulties, and there are some ponies who would rather she not take the throne, but the love of those who care for her will always see her through, and she will take her place as one of Equestria's newest princesses.
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”
I read this in a book once. One cold and lonely winter day after I left them. My friends, and the colt I loved back in the ivory palace my great Aunt Celestia ruled in. So far from where I lived in a domed castle, amongst cobblestone streets and the statues and piazzas of an ancient city by the Marediterran sea.
It seemed to describe my situation. I was alone. I had always been alone. Until I had met them. Until I met him.
Shining Armor.
I had been given a little time with him, time where I had learned what love was, and how very strong I could feel it. That I didn’t just spread it to other ponies’ hearts, but it sustained me and made me happy for the first time. That I was an ancient creature who needed the love of my destined pony to survive. A reality I had overcome, but I still would always need him. Even though I had left him I would wait for him. I’d go through all the loneliness and isolation if I could just see him again.
I had learned how hard it was to be apart from the pony I loved. How strong I could miss him, and how much my love grew in those lonely days.Sometimes my heart seemed to swell in my chest from just a simple thought about those happy days. It was hard to breathe, and tears would come to my eyes. I missed him so much. I missed them all so much.
I would do anything to go back to that time I spent in Canterlot and where I made my first friends. Every day since then I had wished on the stars and the lonely moon who always seemed to understand my solitude and longing, to go back. To see him one more time. To see his iridescent eyes that shone like his namesake, to feel his gentle touch, and to give him my heart as he had given me. I wanted to see Sweetheart and Twilight again too. All the ponies who had meant so much to me, and who I had had to say goodbye to so suddenly so long ago.
And on the summer of my fourteenth year, almost exactly one year later, my wish came true.
I was going back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Come on, wear it for me. Pleeeeaaaseee?” my mother floated over a tiny silver tiara to my head in her indigo coloured aura that was only a little darker than my own, but I playfully knocked it away with my horn.
“Mom, I don’t want to wear a crown, it’ll just be weird!” I complained as I watched the tiny crown fall onto a dress on my bed. I quickly folded the white and gold lined garment and tossed both carelessly into a suitcase to hide the silly thing.
I hummed a sweet melody, waving my tail around playfully as I happily continued my task, ignoring mom's disapproving glare. I was packing to go back. Back to Canterlot, and my one true happiness. My true love. And nothing could break my spirit.
I was accompanying my parents as ambassadors for Istalia, and meeting with the other kingdoms as my first experience as a representative for my country. I also had to attend a royal suitor’s debutante ball and present myself as Princess Celestia’s heiress to Equestria at the Summer Sun Celebration now that I had reached maturity. I wasn’t looking forward to having to meet other noble yearling colts, and especially didn’t want to be shown off like some sort of shiny new toy to them, or presented for marriage, but it didn’t matter. To set my hooves on the cobblestone streets of that glistening city, to see the ones I loved again, I would do anything. Even act like a real princess.
“Aw, but I thought you liked my lovely gift?” mom giggled demurely because she knew I didn’t. I was still a reluctant princess, although I had tried to act more formal throughout the past couple of months. I had tried my best to live up to what was and always would be expected of me. But I still hold onto a bit of the rebel in me.
I had recovered from the illness that almost took my life enough to attend school lessons again in the fall, and desperate to prove myself, or just to do something besides lying in bed all day, I had taken my studies more seriously, and learned all the important but dull things a young mare of nobility needed to know, along with developing my magic further so I could better tolerate strong emotions. Or at least I didn’t faint from them as much anymore. But there was no way I was going to trot around wearing a crown or tiara so everypony could look at me. Canterlot had been my safe haven from that kind of attention, and I knew I would lose it after the ceremony, so I wanted to hold on to my anonymity as much as I could.
“Look, we match!” my mother grinned, her voice squeaking happily and reminding me of the little filly I was so anxious to see again. She was so silly.
From Twilight’s excited letters to me I had heard how she had tried to enroll in the school for gifted unicorns again and Princess Celestia had made her her personal student due to some sort of magical efflux from her. My aunt had described her as the only unicorn she had seen with such strong, raw magic ability, and I had been so proud of her. I had always known that she was special. Now we were both Aunt Celestia’s students and was so glad that her dream had come true in such an unexpected way. I couldn’t wait to see her happy face as she took in all the knowledge there was to have from the libraries and archives in the great historical sun palace. She must be having a ball.
I was pulled back from my thoughts as I noticed that somehow my mom had managed to find and put the tiara on my head without my knowledge, and she pulled me over to my vanity mirror where I blinked as I saw our image reflected back at me.
We looked so much alike now. With my mane hanging loose down my back, my one magenta coloured streak matching hers while the gold and violet complimented the two of us. The tiara was silver with the Istalian amethyst crystal embedded in the middle, while my mother’s was the same, except it was a pure golden crown which she wore whenever she was in public. We looked more like sisters than mother and daughter now, and it was something I was proud of.
I was the same height as her now, and still growing taller so that I felt lanky and awkward with my long legs causing me to trip more than I already did. At only fourteen I was taller than most full grown mares, my wings were bigger than the other pegasi’s as they always had been, and my horn had grown longer and more powerful as I could finally properly cast the heart healing spell I had discovered while helping my sorrowful aunt only a year ago. I had tried it on a crying foal, and since their biggest sadness was dropping a cookie on the ground it hadn’t incapacitated me, just made the small child smile and I curiously practiced it as much as I could. I hadn’t come across true sorrow as I had seen through my aunt’s painful memories, but I could heal somepony’s broken heart, just as I had somehow healed my own.
“Cadenza, this is not a trip of leisure. This is your first time to accompany us to an ambassadorial meeting with representatives from all over Equestria, and you must behave like a proper young mare.” My father said with authority as he stepped into my room and grudgingly refolded the dresses I had packed so sloppily. I mimicked Twilight’s and my mom’s squeaky smile, sheepishly.
“And you will be seeing your knight in Shining Armor again, eh?” mom grinned, mischievously, nudging me, and I blushed.
“You have your royal duties now. You are not to be always running around with that colt all the time. You are a princess and it is high time you start acting like one.” My father scoffed. Then he glared at my mom, who smiled, innocently back at him. “And you. You hate these ambassadorial meetings. What are you so happy about?”
“I am happy for Cadenza. She is getting to see her dear friends again.” Mom smiled at me, and I returned it tender heartily. She was always so supportive. “And your special somepony.” She added, coyly.
“Mom!” I cried, embarrassed as I tried to cover my face in my hooves. But I ended up bursting into girlish giggles along with her. I was so happy. So very happy. Just as much as I had been when I first found love. My mom’s good natured teasing, or my dad’s scolding, or even the fear I felt toward having to become a proper princess could not make me feel any less so.
I was going back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Welcome Istalians. It is wonderful to see you again.” My aunt’s warm voice washed over me as I stood with my family outside the Canterlot Castle gates after a long and tiring journey to the great mountainous city. I excitedly abandoned my formal stance beside my father to gallop up to her and hug her around the neck.
“Auntie!” I cried, joyfully. “I missed you!” Although a little caught off guard at first, the regal mare returned the embrace and nuzzled against my neck so I could smell her sweet flowery scent.
“Cadance, welcome. I am so glad to see you again.” She said, warmly as I stood back, stretching to my full height, eager to show her how tall I had grown that year. “You look so much stronger now. I’m so glad you are feeling better.”
I reared up on my hind legs and flapped my wings. “I’ve never been better!” I exclaimed. I glanced over to my father who had his hoof to his forehead in exasperation, and fell back to my four legs and blushed, smiling bashfully.
“That’s wonderful to hear.” Princess Celestia smiled as she looked me over, her eyes growing pensive and somewhat sad to my sensitive heart. I tilted my head to one side and looked up to her with concern.
“You look so much like her now…” she sighed, distantly.
“Who? Who do I look like?” I suddenly found myself ask her excitedly, completely ignoring the empathy I was feeling toward her. I couldn’t help it. I still felt uncomfortable as an alicorn, but now that I was growing up I was so curious to know what an alicorn looked like at my age. Was I tall enough? Would I really grow taller? Was my muzzle going to get longer too? I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t think I’d like that.
“Is it another alicorn? Do I look like one now? Why don’t you have any pictures of you when you were younger?” I demanded, hopping up and down on the balls of my hooves, my wings continuing to flap, anxiously.
It seemed that getting stronger and being able to function when there were strong emotions present wasn’t very becoming of me. Even my aunt seemed a little troubled by how untroubled I was. But she softened into a gentle smile as my father shouted at me to stop pestering the princess, and startled, I tripped over my own hooves and landed flat on my belly.
The high Princess came over to me, and leaned down as I blushed at my clumsiness, feeling a whole lot less confident and trying to hide behind my hooves.
“You’re growing into a beautiful young alicorn, Cadance.” She said, nuzzling me back up to my hooves. “But you shouldn’t be so eager to grow up. You should cherish your childhood.”
I scoffed. “Father says I’m already grown up. That’s why I have to attend all these royal functions. Bleh.” I stuck my tongue out. “Why do I have to be introduced to suitors anyway? I already have a coltfriend and I love him.” I mumbled, a little afraid to ask this question, and what my regal aunt’s answer would be.
She sighed. “Cadance, it is a royal tradition for ponies of royalty such as yourself to marry into the nobility, and they are forbidden to marry a commoner,” my heart dropped as did my mouth before I properly thought through what she was saying, and my gentle aunt lifted my chin up to look into her deep, magenta eyes. “I do not enforce those rules. I have not abided by them for many years. Your own father married into the royal family, my niece, and I would never force you to marry somepony you didn’t love.”
I felt air rush through my lungs again, after realizing I had been holding my breath, and I managed to return my aunt’s soft smile.
“You just go through the motions, present yourself as the beautiful princess you are to the young stallions of Equestria, but let your heart guide you to your destiny,” She gave a droll grin. “Even if you’ve seemed to have found it already with that pesky Mederi blood in you.”
I smiled, wryly in return, blushing a little at the reminder of my great weakness
“You’ll always be my little niece to me.” Aunt Celestia giggled, magically adjusting the tiara on my head as it had fallen over my eyes in my tumble, and I clutched her in a hug again. It felt like I was home again. Like I belonged in Canterlot, in her embrace, and with my friends. Instead of in the prison that was Istalia, and with my own parents, especially with how overbearing my father had become. I wished I would never have to leave.
Last summer I had learned to appreciate the love I had right in front of me. But it seemed that only a year later I had forgotten it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hurriedly unpacked as if a thousand unicorns were helping me lift and fold my belongings, and put them away in the familiar guestroom where I had lived the previous summer. My mother even helped, but mostly she made sure I didn’t ‘accidentally’ unpack my crown too. I grudgingly kept it on as I rushed around brushing out my mane and tail, and made sure my coat shone as bright as it did when I had scrubbed it raw in the shower. I was surprised to even have mom offer to help me put on some lavender eye shadow which she used to forbid me from doing.
"You look beautiful, Mia. I’m sure your coltfriend will be happy to see you again, just as much as you are.” She smiled tenderly as she finished brushing the purple powder across my eyelids and I opened my eyes again. “I haven’t seen you this happy for a long time. I’m glad for you, I really am, but please try to remember who you are, and that you’re needed here too.”
I had written to Shining Armor when I found out I was coming back. Despite my jubilation, and in between what must have been nonsensical writing derived of pure excitement, I had arranged to meet him at the royal sisters fountain after I arrived, just as we had done that summer. Now that the appointed time was approaching I was eager to get going, while at the same time not being able to believe that the time had come. That I was actually going to see him again. It was kind of surreal, and I felt like I was in a dream world. My heart beat wildly at the thought that I would soon be in his warm arms again, and I had to pinch myself periodically to ascertain it wasn't just a dream.
“Don’t worry mom. I won’t let you down. I’ll try to be a good princess for you.” I promised, somewhat distractedly, my hooves tapping against the floor.
Mom frowned slightly, but then shifted into a smile. “Alright, go on then. But don’t be late for your appointment at the clinic.”
I bent my ears back, and paused in my excited steps, now sure it wasn't all a dream. The reality was right there in front of me, as it always had been.
“Aw, do I have to? I feel fine now. I don’t wanna go back to the hospital.” I whined, feeling anxiety from the memories of what I had gone through only a year ago. But I was stronger now. There was no reason to think that I hadn’t completely healed from my ordeal. I didn’t want to have to face the doctors again to be told so. I just wanted to go on with my life and forget that that had ever happened to me. That I had ever let such despair consume me as to have found myself so close to death. That that was who I was. An ancient creature who had only been able to survive with love. Not just the princess my family wanted me to be.
My mother gave me her stern, no nonsense look and I sighed. “Fine, I’ll be back in time.” I muttered, and then bounded out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I galloped through the streets of Canterlot unaware of the looks I got from the ponies around me. The stares and the comments, the excited shouts of ‘princess’ didn’t reach me. I didn’t fly, but my wings were spread as my heart soared in happiness knowing I would soon see him again. My best friend. My true love. Shining Armor.
He was standing in the square looking around somewhat nervously. His familiar messy mop of a mane a little shorter, a little less messy. His white coat glinting in the sunlight, pure as snow against his deep blue eyes. My white knight.
“Shiny!” I shouted in glee, and jumped on the unsuspecting colt, somehow tackling him to the ground into the most adoring and joyful hug. My heart pounded with exhilaration and love as I met eyes with him for the first time in so many months of longing for him.
“Cadance!” he cried, a little slow to react from being knocked over, but just as happily, his somewhat deeper voice rising as he wrapped his hooves around me and kissed my cheek. I nuzzled against his neck, relishing in the feel of him against me again, his soft coat, his pepperminty smell, the strong forelegs around me. We unanimously jumped up again, rearing up on our hind legs in a dance of jubilation, our hind hooves meeting each other.
“It’s so great to see you again! I missed you.” He exclaimed, and we came to a stop and stood still in front of each other, breathing heavily.
“I missed you too.” I stepped forward and nuzzled the side of his neck, closing my eyes that were suddenly filled with tears as he returned the embrace.
I was a little taller than him now, making it hard to lean under him as I had done, but he was stronger, more muscular, with a large barrel chest I only had ever seen on full grown stallions; namely the royal guard. He was so much bigger now I might not have recognized him. But he would always be the most handsome stallion to me, and I’d always know him from his kind eyes, his silly grin. The love I could sense from him.
“You look strong again. I’m glad you’re better now. You really worried me.” He said, tenderly, and I nodded against him, wordlessly letting him know that I was here, I was well again. He didn’t need to worry anymore.
“And how did you get taller than me?” he demanded with mock chagrin.
I giggled. “I’m a princess. We have royal stature.” I stood up straight and tall and spread my wings. I had forgotten that he barely knew the alicorn me. The real me. He had only seen my true self when I was weak and sickly. Not the royal pony I could have been.
“Uh yeah, about that…” he paused, his tone worried as he looked around, then nervously settled his eyes back on me.
My heart dropped. Did he not want this? Was my being royalty still too much for him? Was this going to happen to me all over again?
“You’re wearing a crown now…” he continued as I started to hyperventilate a little, stepping back from him. “…that’s not good.”
“Wh-what?” I stammered, but suddenly I was blinded by a flash of light to my side, and I raised my hoof and turned away to shield my eyes. When I looked back again Shining Armor was in front of me, braced as if he was shielding me from something.
“I was afraid of this…” he muttered, turning to me, grimly. “You should go.”
I was about to protest, despair from his sudden coldness toward me threatening to push me to my knees, but then my eyes fully recovered from the bright light that had blinded me, and I saw what was going on around me.
We were surrounded. By groups of mares and stallions alike, even some foals. Most of them had cameras around their necks and continued to cheer and snap photos, the cause of the flash of light that had blinded me.
It was the end of my anonymity. Shining Armor wasn’t abandoning me, he was trying to protect me from them. The ponyrazzi were here.
“It’s the princess!” the voices called out from all around me. “The debutante representing the west regions of Equestria. She’s going to be at the Summer Sun Celebration this year!”
“She’s an alicorn!”
“She’s the heiress to Princess Celestia!”
“Look, she’s with a colt! Scandaaaall!”
Their voices seemed to echo with each snap and flash of their stupid cameras, so all I could do was lower my head to hide from their invasive shouts and photos. I had encountered the meddlesome and disrespectful group of amateur photographers known as the ponyrazzi at my parents’ public appearances in Istalia before, but had never been bothered by them in Canterlot. I had always either been kind of invisible; an unknown princess. Or in the months where I’d hid my wings from Shining Armor, ponies hadn’t thought twice about me. Now I was tall, my wings were spread, and I was even wearing a crown. I couldn’t hide anymore.
“Leave us alone!” Shining Armor shouted, backing up against me.
“Are you the princess’s coltfriend? Where did you meet? You’re not even a royal.” One annoyingly voiced mare spoke up, haughtily, shoving a microphone in the colt’s face, and that made me mad. I was prepared to be tortured by them. Not so soon maybe, but I knew that after the celebration I would be known as Princess Celestia’s heiress to everypony, and I would have to accept that, but I did not want them bothering Shining Armor, or insulting him in anyway. They had already ruined our reunion.
I opened my wings and flew over the crowd, landing hard on the street behind them to distract them from Shining Armor.
“You want a scoop, huh? Come and get me!” I shouted, angrily, rearing up on my hind legs as the crowd turned to me. Then with a flash of light brighter than any camera, I looked over to see Shining Armor materialize beside me. I forgot he could teleport.
"Hey, you don’t have to worry about me. But I’m not leaving your side.” He grinned, and touched by his resolve I smiled back at him with determination, and then we turned and galloped together through the streets of Canterlot with the herd of ponyrazzi following close behind.
We ran as far as the castle gates and breathing hard I turned to him sadly as our pursuers caught up to us, and I realized I had nowhere to go but back inside. I had barely gotten to talk to him. It wasn’t fair.
“Come meet me at the palace later, OK.” I pleaded.
“Twily’s there. I’ll come get her and see you then.” He promised, kissing me lightly on my cheek so I blushed. “It’s been an honour serving you, princess.” He lifted his hoof to his head in a salute with his silly grin.
I quickly nuzzled him before jumping into the air and flying up and over the gates, pausing to see the crowd seem to devour my poor, heroic coltfriend. But then his familiar rose coloured flash of light shone out from the ground, and when the ponies dispersed, he was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ugh! It’s not fair!” I shouted, stomping into the throne room where my aunt was sitting working wearily on some paperwork. My sudden, vehement entrance had startled her along with her assistant, and she dropped the pile of papers to the ground while the poor unicorn beside her jumped a mile.
“Cadance, whatever is the matter?” she exclaimed, standing up and coming over to me, worriedly.
I felt a little embarrassed to have startled her and the other pony, but it didn’t stop my anger at being chased away from my coltfriend who I hadn’t seen for a year by a bunch of photographers who didn’t respect anypony’s privacy. Never less a princess’s.
“It’s the stupid ponyrazzi!” I cried, angrily, as she stepped back a little. “They chased me away from Shining Armor before I even got to talk to him!” I snorted and leaned over, breathing heavily as I tried to calm down. I was winded from the chase, but also angry and hurt, still dealing with some of the effects of when he had suddenly grew so cold to me. But mostly I hated those meddling ponies for taking away my one happiness, and hate never mixed well with me.
“Oh dear. I should have warned you,” The princess frowned and the cream colour unicorn assistant joined her, deftly holding up the papers in her strangely white aura.
“Warned me about what?”
“Your highnesses if I may say something…” the unicorn mare spoke up suddenly, and I turned to her sharply. After what had happened I didn’t have the patience to be interrupted. But I wasn’t going to dismiss her input.
“Yes…”
“All of Canterlot is looking forward to meeting you, Princess. We have never experienced a princess’s debut and you are the first alicorn besides her majesty, Princess Celestia that we have seen. The foals particularly are so excited to be able to see a young princess’s debut. My own daughter is very adamant to meet you. She thinks you’re beautiful if I may say so.” The mare smiled, and I blushed a little, warmed by her explanation.
I had forgotten that other ponies must see me as having a fairytale life. That little fillies dreamed of being princesses like Twilight had done. That I represented the hopes and dreams of little foals everywhere, even if in reality royalty could be difficult. But I still didn’t want to be barred from going out in public and meeting my friends by those ponies who just wanted to make bits off of my celebrity and the Equestrians’ happiness.
“Royal Ribbon is right, Cadance,” Aunt Celestia added. “Your appearance at the Summer Sun Celebration this year has been of much consideration, and ponies from all over Equestria are coming just to get a glimpse of you. I know you value your privacy but your friends are welcome here anytime, and the royal guard can accompany you if you wish to go out.” She paused and sighed as she noticed that I didn’t share in her enthusiasm with my glum expression.
“The ponyrazzi can be a meddlesome and rude group, along with any other curious pony. But just remember that they love you and you are bringing them happiness.” She smiled in her wise and warm way, but I knew it bothered her just as much as it did me. That wasn’t real love. Real love came from the ponies who cared for you for who you were, not because of your status. I had successfully proven this in my unintended experiment just last summer. Although it had not been without its’ complications.
Still, her next words brought a smile back to my face.
“In any case, now that you are free, there is somepony in my library who would very much like to see you again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Canterlot Castle Library was closed to the public, and the gifted unicorns’ school that primarily used it had let out for the summer. But being alone had never stopped Twilight Sparkle before, and I found her holed up at a desk intensely reading some dusty old tome much as she had when I first met her.
I could see the newly earned magenta coloured starburst on her side as she crouched on the cushion, unaware that I hid behind her. It was an intricate cutiemark, somewhat more detailed than the ones I was used to, not discounting my own of course. Instead of one or two simple symbols, it was a six pointed starburst surrounded by five more stars. It actually was a little like Shining Armor’s, who had a similar star within his shield, and I wondered why that was.
I nimbly held onto a tray with two cups of sweet, fruit flavoured herbal tea in my magic, and then softly got to my hooves, trying not to let the concentrating filly notice me.
“Don’t you think it is about time for a break, my little pony?” I smiled, lowering the tray in front of her as she turned around.
“Cady!” the little unicorn whinnied happily, and I had just enough time to set the tray down before she jumped on me, no longer big enough to topple me over, but I went down anyway, hugging her blissfully, as she flung her hooves around my neck.
“Twilight. I missed you.” I breathed, my always overbearing emotions presenting themselves to me after so long being kept back. But this time they were happy. Joyful. And I welcomed them.
“I missed you too---Oh!” the filly suddenly jumped off me and then crouched down, wriggling her tail as she grinned at me. I followed her as if we were led by a string guiding our hooves. It was our silly dance. Our little rhyme. The symbol of our friendship.
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”
As we came to a stop, giggling happily, Twilight blinked her large violet eyes up at me, curiously. “Whoa, you got tall.” She mused.
“Well, you got a cutiemark!” I countered, poking her side.
“Oh, yeah! Look! It’s a star!” she stuck out her side, proudly showing off the little pink starburst before continuing. “Cuz my special talent is magic, and I turned my parents into plants, and made Spike big----“ she suddenly held up a little purple and green…. reptile? I had no idea, but it smiled at me and stuck its claw in its mouth like a foal. But then she tucked it away before I could make any sense of it.
“----and Princess Celestia was so impressed she made me her own special student. So now I have a special cutie mark, and I’m Princess Celestia’s student just like you!” she happily hopped around just as I remembered her doing, but it was amazing to see her so happy because her dream had come true. I had always known she was special, but I had never imagined she would become my aunt’s protege. And I was soon about to get a taste of that wild and untamed magic of which made her such a special pony.
“So, what do you and my auntie do all day?” I asked, wryly.
“Princess Celestia is the most beautiful, most kindest, most smartest pony ever. You are soooo lucky she is your aunt! She teaches me all about magic, and magic theory and magic history and.... and... magicians! Did you know that Starswirl the Bearded might have been even more powerful than her?” she demanded, jumping on her reading desk and getting right up in my face.
I blinked. “No. I did not know that.”
“Its true! She says that a pony’s power is not based on whether they are a unicorn or alicorn or even earth pony or pegasus, but by the focus they put into their inherent magic, and the strength of their will." She explained, emphatically.
That I did know. Twilight must have had some strong willpower in that little filly body of hers.
"I see," I replied, sitting down at the desk and passing her the tea which she eagerly started sipping. I wondered how long she had been studying in there, and when she had last had anything to eat or drink. She could get pretty obsessive.
“Why don’t you show me what you’ve been studying?” I offered, picking up my own tea. Her enthusiasm was starting to wear me out already.
“Okay!” she exclaimed, and wriggled onto the cushion with me so she could look at her book again. I followed her lead and read over the page she was on. It seemed to be some sort of matter transmutation spell. A complicated and easily misinterpreted magic I couldn’t really see the little filly doing. Still, she had surprised me before, so I watched, encouragingly as she concentrated intensely on a small paperweight on the desk, crouching down with her tail twitching slightly as her small horn powered up with a magenta aura. A blast of light bigger than I thought could be produced from such a small unicorn body shot out from her horn and hit the paperweight enveloping it in her bright pink light. And just as I was about to console her for the spell seeming to fail, it suddenly exploded into a million pieces, and I had just enough time to throw my body on top of her before the beam of light ricocheted off the pieces and hit the wall in front of us, blasting a hole through the plaster and causing debris to fall on us causing much less injury to me than it would to her smaller form under me.
“Mi Amore Cadenza! What is the meaning of this?” I lifted my head up, shaking the gray dust and plaster off me to see my father standing in front of me. He didn’t look happy.
“Whoa, that was not supposed to happen.” Twilight grumbled, rubbing her mane as she got to her hooves. Then she saw my angry looking and intimidating father and her eyes grew wide, and the little imp actually pointed her hoof at me as if I had been the one to blow up the wall. I glared at her, and was about to point my hoof right back, but I stopped. I understood why she had done it.
“Sorry, father. It was an accident with a spell I was showing my friend. I’ll get it cleaned up and apologize to Princess Celestia right away.” I stepped forward and calmly approached him. I didn’t want him to scare the little filly. I didn’t want her to get into trouble. If I took the blame at least the palace would go easy on me because I was royalty. I turned to Twilight and winked, smiling weakly, but she seemed shocked and didn’t respond.
“This is reckless and dangerous behaviour. And in front of a young and impressionable filly. Why can’t you ever act like a proper young lady?” he demanded.
I bowed my head and apologized again. It was all I could do.
“We will have to get somepony else to clean this. I came looking for you because you are late for your appointment at the hospital. Let’s go.”
Shoot. I hadn’t wanted to be late for that. I had promised mom I wouldn’t be. Maybe I really was a poor excuse for a princess.
Sighing, I followed my father out of the library, giving one last sad look at Twilight as he called over a royal guard to inform him of the hole in the wall that needed attending to. The little unicorn looked kind of guilty so I smiled to cheer her up. She smiled back and waved meekly, but I hated leaving her. Taking the blame for her wasn’t going to be worth anything if she got caught right in the middle of it. I hoped she’d have the sense to leave the scene .
I hadn’t even gotten to see Shining Armor again when he picked her up. Nothing seemed to be working out that day, I thought to myself as I trudged behind my cold and overbearing father to face my past. And my fate.
Nothing had seemed to work out for me since I came back to Canterlot. I had been chased away from Shining Armor by those stupid ponyrazzi, and even lost my chance to play with Twilight again. If being late for my appointment at the hospital meant I was going have more bad luck I was a little more nervous about what the doctors would say to me then I already had been. But it seemed for once that fate was on my side, and I was given a clean bill of health.
Although I knew I had grown much stronger from when I was deathly ill and told I would have a permanent heart condition last year, it was a surprise even to me that the doctors could find no trace of the illness, and I had seemed to have completely healed. Aunt Celestia said that pony doctors didn’t know much about alicorn physiology, and especially had no clue about what had happened to me. They could only diagnose the physical effects they could see. That I had completely healed was probably just my inherent strength and magic much like her own. And she was so happy for me. So were my mother and father too, in his own strange way. They wanted to celebrate, but I was tired and just wanted to be alone.
I was happy too, of course. I was glad to be well again, and to not have to worry about it anymore. But really, what was more important to me was seeing my friends again, and I was still pretty disappointed I hadn’t gotten to. At least my father had seemed to have forgotten about my ‘accident’ in the library for now.
I knew I wasn't completely free of my illness anyway. It could happen again to me. It was a curse on me and those who cared about me. I hated it for that. For putting a burden on the ponies I cared about like that. I knew Shining Armor didn't completely understand it. But I had sensed the guilt from him. Even if he didn't know the full details, he still thought he had been the reason I had grown so sick. I didn't want him to feel like he was indebted to me somehow. Like he was a prisoner to my love. Not the way I was.
Sighing heavily, I drifted into sleep and dreamed about galloping through a grassy field with my friends by my side, free of the fear inside me. And with my very own knight in shining armor. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was still laying in bed the next morning feeling sorry for myself, when the knight of my lonely dreams appeared in front of me in all his mop-top-maned-goofy-grin glory.
"Hey, sleeping beauty are you just going to stay in bed all day?'
I jumped up, surprised by his sudden appearance, and embarrassed by him finding me lazing about. I guessed my aunt had been serious when she said my friends were welcome anytime.
"Shining! I-I was just.... I was-" but I was cut off as his lips met mine, and all my embarrassment and disappointment melted away as I relaxed into the kiss. Oh, how I had missed it. The feel of him against me brought back all the memories of our one magical summer together, and reminded me just how much I loved him. How much I had missed him, and how much I needed him.
He pulled away and chuckled, blushing a little so I could only imagine how red my own cheeks must be.
"I didn't get to do that yesterday," He grinned, mischievously, and I giggled. "You've become too famous for me, princess. I didn't think I'd ever see my face on one of those silly tabloid magazines they sell on the street."
I grimaced, sure I must have turned even redder. "Are you freaking serious?" I demanded, and he laughed.
"Twily taped the picture to her wall."
I ran my hooves across my face and groaned. "I don't believe this."
"It's OK. They called me the 'unknown strapping stallion of the princess's dreams' so they can't be all bad," he laughed again, standing up tall and puffing out his chest, proudly. I giggled despite myself. Even as we were both seeming to lose our privacy he could always make me laugh.
"Besides, I think I found a place where we can be alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a willow tree.
A huge, veiled hideaway located right by the river running through Canterlot's Hide Park. It was right under the noses of those nosey ponies, and couldn't have been any more conspicuous if it were located on Mane Street, or the Sun Palace itself. But that's what made it such a perfect hiding place.
The tree leaned over toward the river, its veil of thick leaves flowing down like a blanket that covered the circumference of the heavy trunked willow. It looked to be hundreds of years old, with spaces where the sun shone through like sparkling stars. It was beautiful. A wonderful place to spend a day with the pony I loved. And to truly be alone with him.
He went ahead of me, still able to walk around in public unlike I was without being consumed by a bunch of dumb princess stalkers. Since the majority of Canterlot citizens were not pegasi I was still able to fly around without them being able to bother me, so I was supposed to fly in through the leaves to meet him. But I ended up crashing into the branches since my wings were too big, and I fell through the tree right on top of the unsuspecting colt.
“Ugh...thanks for dropping in.” Shining Armor grunted as I landed on top of him.
Dazed, I struggled to my hooves, and shook the leaves out of my mane. “Uh... sorry.” I muttered, blushing profusely. I was such a klutz. But suddenly he grabbed me and threw me back on top of him. “Shiny!” I cried, startled, but I began to giggle as he pulled me closer and nuzzled up to me.
“Caught you,” he murmured, tickling my nose as he kissed it.
“You’ve gotten more frisky than I remember,” I giggled, blissfully kissing him back as my heart swelled with the love I could feel all around me. It had been so long since I had felt that pure, tender feeling in that way. “I think you’ve been taking lessons from Lacolt, you naughty colt.” I added, wryly, playfully pushing his nose away.
“Ugh no, I haven’t seen that loser all year. I think he got stuck in a public school without a magic program.” he muttered, rolling over, but I pushed him back down, straddling him.
“Serves him right.” I smiled, coyly.
"Besides that, I’m a growing colt who hasn’t seen his marefriend in a year. I have needs you know.”
“Oh, and I don’t?” I demanded, playfully, and then noticed him staring at my wings tucked against my side. “Not gonna happen, canternova.” I deadpanned and he grinned, lewdly, so I pushed him away with my hoof. “Anyway, I’m the one alone in Istalia all the time. At least you have friends here.”
He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and my best friend is with his mare all the time.”
“Oooh, are Sweetheart and Palomides around? I want to see them again!” I exclaimed, happily. I couldn’t wait to see the sweet and kind yearling filly I had made friends with last year. I had kept up with her in letters, but it wasn’t the same as giggling and gossiping with my first real friend together. Well, filly friend anyway. I had really missed her.
“We’ll see them soon. But right now I’m not letting you go.” Shining Armor pulled me closer, and I squealed as he tickled and cuddled me close in his arms as if I were a child. I turned over and kissed him softly, no longer the child, instead the yearling filly who had found her true love. I felt such passion and joy in my heart. More so than I remembered. The way we could cuddle and play now was so different from when we were shy and reserved before. We were a little filly and colt then. Two foals experiencing love for the first time, and having no idea what to do with it. But we were bolder now. We had been through alot, probably more than most. And just as we were able to admit our true feelings we were ripped away from each other. We had alot to make up for.
"Shining Armor...do you still love me even though I’m so far away now?”
It was a question I had longed to ask him. I couldn’t write it in letters, it was much too personal for that. I had to see him in front of me to know for sure. A long distance love was hard. Especially since I didn’t even know when I could see him again. For me, I didn’t have much to distract me, nothing that would make me forget or ever stop thinking about him. It was partly my own loyalty to him, my eternal love, but it was also because I was alone and lonely. All I wanted was to see him again. It was what I thought about the most. But for him I wasn’t so sure. He had school, a life in Canterlot with other friends. I couldn’t blame him if he forgot me.
The white colt looked down at me, his bright, blue eyes full of mischief and fervor “You think I might be fooling around with other fillies?”
I winced. “N-no! I’m not saying that—I just-“ he cut me off with a kiss on the lips, and I instantly relaxed, as if it were some sort of drug coursing through my system. And with the way I functioned, my dependency on love, it may as well have been.
“Cadance, I’ll always love you. I have never stopped thinking about you since the day you left. No matter how far away you may be, you’ll always be in my heart.” His deep and gentle voice touched the deepest part of my heart, and my eyes filled up with tears of happiness as I wrapped my hooves around him and held him as close to me as possible.
"You're the most special filly to me. I really missed you this year, and whenever I felt lonely, or saw my friends with their marefriends, I just remembered how I had the most amazing filly waiting for me. I'm lucky to have you, my little reluctant princess." he grinned his silly grin, but I sensed his original uncertainty, his loneliness, and the sincerity behind his words, and I nuzzled closer to him, my heart so full.
"I'm the luckiest pony in the world to have you too," I breathed. "and I love you, my white knight."
As I cuddled closer to him, I realized that this was where I belonged. I belonged with him. In his soft hooves, under this tree, or under a starry sky, even in the middle of a crowd of curious ponies. As long as we were together, that’s all that mattered, and no pony was going to take that away from us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun sparkled in through the slits in the willow leaves as I lay with him in the high noon heat, safe under the shade of the tree. I sighed, contently. I wished I could just lay with him forever. That I didn’t have to face the realities of growing up, of leaving Canterlot, and becoming a princess. And then I remembered; that was exactly what I had to do.
“Shining,” I started, solemnly, and he just sighed, mumbling a response as he lay his head lazily over my neck. I sighed too, but it was not a sigh of content, and I lifted my head up, forcing him to do the same. “You trust me, right.......?" I asked as he turned to me.
“Hmm? Yeah, sure I do.” He murmured.
“You know you’re the only colt for me, right?”
Now he sat up straighter, his happy and dopey expression wilting. “Yes...”
“Well,” I started again, losing my own confidence now that he seemed to be becoming serious himself. I really didn’t want to hurt him again. This wasn’t fair. “You know I’m a debutante now so…” he just blinked, waiting for me to continue. “…so I’m expected to participate in certain royal duties…” I paused again, but then Shining Armor put his hoof on my shoulder and smiled, gently.
“It’s alright, Cadance. I trust you. I know you have to do what is expected of you as a princess. You don’t have to worry.”
I turned to him and smiled, loving him all the more for his understanding. “I have to attend a royal debutante ball. I’m supposed to present myself to potential suitors for marriage… I… I don’t want to but…”
I could feel his worry then. He didn’t show it. He was darn good at masking that type of emotion. He tried to be the calm and silly colt he always was, but he must have forgotten I could feel his heart after so many months apart.
“Princess Celestia doesn’t believe in arranged marriages. Neither do my own parents. This ball is just a formality. A tradition. You’re the pony I love. I’ll never leave you and I... I hope that..." I paused, bracing myself for my next words. "Well.... I hope that when we're older and we’ve found who we’re meant to be, that we could get married one day too." I blushed so strongly I felt faint as I buried my head in my hooves.
He nudged my head back up and smiled.
“I’d like that too.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you got so tall!” came the familiar high voice of the once small yearling filly I called my best friend.
"You got so tall!” I squealed just as excitedly.
Sweetheart, little Sweetheart had finally grown into her disproportionate tiny body, and was the size of any other teen filly now. Her rosy curls were a little shorter now, a little less wild. But her beautiful kindness shone through in her always somewhat sad, droopy eyes. It was so great to see her again.
Shining Armor had been true to his word, and had brought Palomides and Sweetheart to my new little prison in the Canterlot Palace. The willow tree was only for the two of us, though. It was our special place, and letting another pony in would violate its sanctity. So the couple had come to see me in my literal ivory tower instead.
It was just the two of them. Lyrica and Ivory had had a falling out and weren't around very much, while Blue was in Cloudsdale for flight training, and Medley had a summer job. Shining said that the two of them would be there for the Summer Sun Celebration and my big debut, but he wasn't sure about Lyrica or Ivory. I guessed she had pushed him too far with her silly antics and demands, but I was disappointed I wouldn't get to see them again in my all too short visit. Still, to have Sweetheart and silly, good natured Palomides again was enough for me for now.
The gray unicorn colt had always been much slighter than his friend, but although Shining had grown even bigger that year, Palomides was catching up, and was still taller than all of us. Even me, which made for a lot of good natured teasing for his friend.
"So, Cadance, you're a debutante now. Does that mean you're going to go off with some prince? Or are the tabloids true and my buddy, Shiny is part of some scandalous love affair?" Palomides laughed, punching Shining Armour in the chest, and receiving an equal blow in return from the embarrassed colt.
"Palomides! What a thing to say! Apologize to our friends right now, young stallion." Sweetheart chastised, sternly, pushing the two feuding unicorns away from each other.
"You guys saw those too, huh?" I grimaced in reply.
"Oh, Cadance you look so beautiful in those photos. So grown up and princess-like." Sweetheart had always been the diplomatic one in our group. She knew how to make any type of degradation or humiliation go away with her kind words and firm handle on other ponies. Without her we probably would have fallen apart long ago. And I loved her for it.
"Sorry, Cadance. I was just trying to get this guy to lighten up. He ripped my copy of the magazine up. I mean, what the hay?" Palomides chortled with mock annoyance, and received a back hoof kick from his disgruntled friend.
"You were making fun of my picture and said it wasn't even me, you big jerk," Shining Armor growled. “You said it was freaking Prince Blueblood with her. He’s a little colt!”
Palomides reared up and covered his face with his hooves. "Abuse! Abuse! Princess, have your guards arrest this colt. He's out of control, and he's under the delusion that you're dating him." He broke off into uncontrollable chuckles, but I wasn't letting him get away with that.
"I could have him arrested," I started, thoughtfully, so that Shining Armor's eyes grew wide as if he actually believed I would do such a thing to him. He was so gullible. "But I think I should have you arrested instead, for your disrespect shown toward me.” I grinned, maliciously and my ridiculous coltfriend came over and hid behind me, sticking his tongue out at his friend who seemed to be legitimately freaked out by my supposed sentence, until I burst out laughing, and so did the others.
"Oh, Palomides, you’re such a little foal,” I giggled, grabbing him over to me in a hug which Sweetheart eagerly joined in on.
“But for the record, Prince Blueblood is my cousin and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moon was full that night as the four of us lay in the cool, soft grass inside the Canterlot Gardens. They were out of the way, and closed to the public at that time of night. We were safe from prying pony eyes, and could just be ourselves. Together.
We passed around another copy of that accursed tabloid magazine in our combined auras, creating a rainbow of colour around it. It was weird to actually see it. To see how these ponies I had never met, never talked to, seemed to think they knew who I was, and what was best for me. As if they had any right to judge me or my choice in coltfriends. They had no idea how fragile and empathetic I was, and how much their careless words might hurt me. They just didn’t care.
"You actually brought it here?" Palomides demanded as Shining Armour held up the Canterlot Equus magazine with the two of us on the cover. His eyes were blocked out, probably because they hadn't gotten his or his parent's permission for the photo, and he was technically still a minor. But I was there clear as day. It didn't matter how young I was. A princess was free game for them.
“Cadance wanted to see it. Say one mocking word about our pictures to her again though, and I’ll turn you into one of these statues.” Shining Armor replied, eyeing the other colt.
“You really do look pretty in the pictures, Cadance.” Sweetheart added, as I leaned over Shiny’s shoulder looking at the glossy pictures in the light of the moon and our horns’ auras.
I frowned. I didn’t think I looked pretty. I kinda looked scary. The ponyrazzi took my picture when I was angry at them, so I looked pretty pissed off. They called me fierce and protective. As I had every right to be. But then Sweetheart turned the page to the exclusive story. There I was, smiling with all my joy at my reunion with Shining Armor. My wings were spread, and I was standing tall, showing off my stupid regal stature to him. I didn’t know they had gotten a picture of me then. It was kind of embarrassing. More so than when they got a picture of my anger. Because it was the real me.
The young Istalian princess, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza will be formally recognized as the heiress to Princess Celestia of Equestria at this year’s Summer Sun Celebration now that she has come of age. She is the first alicorn to be born in over a thousand years, and is a gentle and caring young mare whose special talent is said to be the ability to spread love. We do not know much about this enigmatic young royal as she has been sheltered most of her life, but are looking forward to making her acquaintance at this year’s festival.
I read over the words in the dim light and felt a little better. They seemed to like me, and weren’t really criticizing me. They really didn’t know much about me, and I wondered why that was, and if my parents really had done their best to protect me until now, and I felt warmed by it.
“I love your crown. How come you’re not wearing it now? Can I see it?” Sweetheart asked, giddily, her one flaw always being her little filly excitement over my royalty. I couldn’t blame her for it though.
“I’m off duty now. I’ll show you later OK, Sweetie,” I paused as her ears drooped in disappointment. “I’ll even let you try it on, how’s that?” I smiled, and loved it as she cheered up like the little filly I would always remember her as.
“No way, I didn’t see this before somepony destroyed my copy. It says Shiny could be a prince from another kingdom,” Palomides yanked the magazine out of his friend’s aura, excitedly. “Apparently he has the broad chest of a royal, and a princely muzzle.” He put his hooves on top of Shining Armor’s snout and under his jaw. “Look at the princey wincey!” he giggled and was pushed off by the other colt.
“I’m going to kill you.” Shining Armor murmured, and started beating his friend with the magazine.
“You’re so violent,” I laughed. “And Palomides,” I tried to be stern and princess-like as I turned my icy glare to the menacing colt. “Stop teasing my coltfriend, or I’ll throw you in the dungeon.”
We all laughed, especially Shining Armor at Palomides’ expense, but I shot a glare at him too, and he grinned, sheepishly, than offered a hoof to the gray colt.
“I’ll ask her not to throw you in the dungeon if you quit torturing me over this stupid magazine article. Deal?”
“Deal.” Palomides smiled, genuinely as he took the white colt’s hoof in his. “Prince Big Nose.”
The giggles bubbled up through my chest into full on laughs, and I held my stomach as I rolled around on the ground indignantly as would never be permitted in my royal life. But I was with my friends now, and this was my other life. My sweeter life. The only life I wanted to live. And I relished in laughing along with them like the pony I still wished I could be.
Having enough of the magazine now, we lay on our backs and looked up at the lonely full moon, peaceful and content. It seemed subdued in the hazy summer night air, but I still felt a little of its sadness. I wondered if the others could feel what I felt from it too. Or did it broadcast its pain only to me?
“Do you guys ever wonder about the unicorn shadow up there?” I asked, tentatively.
“The Mare in the Moon?” Sweetheart asked.
“Yeah...” I mumbled, a little embarrassed suddenly.
“It does look like a unicorn is up there....” Shining Armor responded. “...but that’s just an old mare’s tale, right?”
“Uh... right..” I sighed, disappointed that he had been the one to depreciate my thoughts so soon. He looked over to me with concern before Sweetheart suddenly spoke up again.
“It would be sad if it were true. I would think that unicorn would be lonely up there,” she said. She was still the best at understanding me and what I wanted to convey.
“Sometimes when I look at the moon... I feel sad... like I can feel the unicorn’s loneliness too.” I explained.
“You mean like how you can feel another pony’s emotions?” Shining asked.
“Oh yeah! I forgot you could do that. You’re so sweet to feel sad for that lonely little pony if she’s really up there.” Sweetheart added, and I giggled, blushing a little.
“It's not exactly like that. There’s no real presence, but I feel the loneliness around me. I feel it less when the moon is waning.... but it's like she wants to tell me something...or some pony... but I'm the only one who can hear her."
We broke off into silence as each of us looked up into the sky with our own contemplations.
The crickets sang a sweet melody, and the leaves and our manes rustled in the wind, and I looked over to Shining who looked complacent and wondered what he was thinking about. Palomides was lightly holding Sweetheart's tiny white hoof in his, and I reached over to my own white knight and took his large ruffled hoof into mine.
"Whatever is up there I can't deny that a moonlit night conveys a sense of loneliness even for me.” Shining Armor was the first to speak again, and I felt warmed to have him understand some of what I felt. “Its kinda when I most miss you…” he added, bashfully, and my heart leapt as I rolled over and cuddled him close to me.
“Awww, that’s so romantic!” Sweetheart cooed, and then turned to Palomides. “What do you think, huh? Don’t you think the moon is really lonely up there too?” she asked, engagingly, grinning at her clueless coltfriend.
“Huh? Nah. I think the moon is just a big old piece of cheese.”
“A piece of cheese?!” we all shouted, sitting up.
“Jeez, what’s the big deal? Haven’t you ever heard the story that the moon is made from cheese?” he muttered, indignantly.
I could feel poor Sweetheart’s disappointment over his very unromantic notion, and felt bad for the little filly. “No.” she muttered in disheartened response.
“Look at it. It’s a ball of cheese. And the unicorn image is just uh...some mold on it,” we all just stared at him, Sweetheart with her mouth hanging open. “Maybe Princess Celestia takes a bite out of it each time she raises it, huh?” he chuckled, and I looked over to see the tabloid magazine float off the ground in a cherry blossom pink aura from where it lay beside Shiny, and bop the silly colt on the head.
“You are the most dispassionate, unromantic colt ever! You can go live on that moon for all I care. You’ll certainly be well fed there!” Sweetheart shouted at the baffled Palomides who just sat on the ground and blinked as the white yearling filly ran over to me and cuddled up to me.
“Cady, fix him! Use your love magic and make him romantic like Shining is. I never realized what a dope he was!” she sobbed, and I sighed smiling down at her.
“You know I can’t really do that. You told me yourself you didn’t want me to use my magic for you two.” I soothed, gently.
“Sorry Sweetheart, not all colts can be as dashing as me.” Shining grinned, and deadpanning I pushed him away.
“Then, can you find me a prince? Since you don’t want one that is...” she murmured, and I giggled, holding her close to me.
As far as I was concerned she could have all the princes offered to me. But I knew she really cared for Palomides, and actually liked his silly but tragically unromantic ways. He brought out her strength and made her laugh, and I couldn’t have wished for a better match for my dear friend, especially since I hadn’t been a part of it, and it was her own sweet heart that kindled it.
“Do you really think there is an actual pony up there?” Shining Armor asked me again, curiously as Sweetheart calmed down and sat with me, where I protected her under my wing like a child in the soft grass. Palomides was granted permission to sit next to us where he twiddled his hooves shamefully, glancing back up to us every now and then, trying to win us back in his favour.
“I think that there is a reason the moon makes us feel the way it does, and it speaks to us in all different ways,” I paused, and looked deep into my beautiful coltfriend’s cerulean eyes. “And when I look up at it is when I miss you most of all too.”
The next day was the Royal Ambassador's Meeting. Mom had been coaching me on how to behave and what to expect to happen for most of the morning, with my father ‘helpfully’ criticising everything I managed to do until she got fed up with him and kicked him out of our room. I had had my mane pulled up into every single style imaginable but it refused to stay up, or mom wouldn’t be happy with it, and she’d start over, yanking my mane around until my scalp ached and I was actually happy when my aunt Celestia came and asked to speak to me alone.
I followed the high princess silently through the halls, watching the palace staff frantically rushing around to get ready for the great conference and lavish banquet required of it, my stomach rolling a little from an unknown nervousness as the smells of all the food assaulted my nostrils. I started to wish I had stuck around to have my hair pulled out as we approached the castle library where I had convinced my father that I had destroyed one of the walls in place of the results of one of Twilight’s untamed spells. Neither my father nor my aunt had spoken to me about it after my positive prognosis had been given, and I hadn't seen Twilight either. I had almost forgotten about it, but a heaviness settled in my belly as I realized I was going to be scolded by my patient but firm regal aunt.
“It seems that somepony has damaged my library’s wall.” Aunt Celestia said, her voice deceptively calm as she gestured to the wall where the hole had been repaired and hastily painted over, the tiles cleaned up from the floor. I felt no clear anger or disappointment from her, but surely she had brought me here to abdicate me. Or maybe I had pushed my emotion sensing magic so far away it was deceiving me.
“Oh, yeah...” I mumbled, guiltily.
“Your father told me he found you and my personal student at the scene, and you said you were showing her something when your spell backfired?” the princess raised an eyebrow and I grimaced.
“Yup. That’s what happened. I’m really sorry, auntie.” I tried to grin in that cute way Twilight could do that according to her brother helped her get away with anything, but I probably failed.
“So, am I to understand that my almost full grown niece, adept in magic, and in complete control of her spells is responsible for this, while my student, who I am teaching to tame her wild magic, and has done this many times before is completely innocent?”
“Uh.... yes?”
The ivory coated monarch shook her head and sighed. “Oh Cadance, you’re a kind, selfless little pony, but taking the blame for Twilight Sparkle’s mistake isn’t going to help her learn anything.”
“I know...” I sighed, hanging my head. “It’s just my father was there and...I didn’t want him to yell at her,” I paused. “Like he always yells at me.”
“I see,” Princess Celestia responded with less concern in her tone than I expected. “But please, let me take care of the discipline for my own student.”
“Yes, Auntie.” I mumbled, feeling dejected, and wondering what ‘discipline’ would befall the little filly. I hoped I hadn’t gotten her in even more trouble.
“What do you say, young filly?” my aunt continued, sternly, and I startled to see the lavender unicorn trudge out from behind her.
"I’m sorry I let you take the blame for me, Cady.” she mumbled much as I had done, looking down at her hooves as she scuffed them across the floor.
“And...?” our mutual mentor pressed.
“Um... thanks... for trying to protect me.” she looked up at me with those huge eyes of hers and smiled, innocently.
“You’re welcome, Twilight.” I smiled too.
Suddenly my aunt’s familiar warmth and compassion returned to her face as she smiled at the two of us. “Learning to take responsibility for your own actions is an important lesson to be learned, my little pony. Just as with Cadance it is a noble and valiant trait to try to protect another pony, but in this case that pony needed to try to accept the responsibility for herself.”
“Yes, Aunt Celestia.” I replied, while Twilight mimicked without saying the more familial title. “We’re sorry.” our voices joined in unison and the elder princess chuckled softly.
“Now, Twilight I know you like to be here to study in the library, but today there is something very special going on in the castle and I cannot permit you to stay here unattended. Cadance and I must go now to get ready, but I’m sure you’ll see her again during the rest of her visit here,” Princess Celestia looked down at the disappointed little filly and sighed. It seemed even she wasn’t immune to Twilight’s manipulative little pout. “And we’ll start our lessons again in the fall. Now go outside and play, you silly filly.”
I nodded to show her my own encouragement, and the lavender unicorn immediately cheered up and waved to us as she trotted to the solar guard stallion the princess had asked to escort her home.
When Twilight had left the library my aunt blew out a puff of air and turned to me. "I don't know how you ever kept up with her.”
I giggled, mischievously. "If you help my mother figure out what to do with my mane without making it fall out, I'll give you a few Twilight Sparkle customized foal sitter pointers. Cadance patented and approved.” I concluded with a wink.
“You got a deal, my little foal sitter expert.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Royal Ambassadors Meeting was the first of all my new royal duties I actually enjoyed. In fact, it was magical. It was the most awe inspiring and spectacular event I had ever experienced. And it may have even helped me come to terms with my own ancient origins. For when my parents had explained that I would be meeting with representatives from all across Equestria they had never said that some would be different species.
Of course there were pony representatives from the other separate kingdoms as I was. There was the pure white, enigmatic queen of the frozen north who brought in a chill with the flow of her ivory flowing mane and lion shaped tail, and whose eyes shone blue like the deepest lake. The unicorn Emperor and Empress of the East, a dainty couple without any alicorn characteristics, but a distinct almond eye shape and glossy night coloured coat with strange and intricate cutie marks that said as much in their images as the words they represented. Even the Saddle Arabian horses, a race of tall earth pony-like equine with alicorn like muzzles, powerful muscled legs and beautiful saddle costumes did not surprise me as much as when I was introduced to the other representatives from beyond the Equestrian borders.
The Zebrican zebras were similar to ponies but had striped coats, with short, upturned manes, dainty black-tipped hooves, and a thin tail with wisps of hair growing at the end. Represented by Princess Aida, a white coated zebra, with black stripes and a longer white and gray mane compared to the other zebras accompanying her who had the more common mohawk style, she also seemed to possess a kind of cutie mark that was a part of the black stripes on her pelt. It looked a little bit like a sun with a half moon underneath, strangely similar to Equestria’s own symbol of harmony of sun and moon, and made me wonder how we were all connected. But also so far away.
The princess’s fiance accompanying her was the Zebrican version of a unicorn, an Abada, a gray, striped equine much like a zebra, but with a twisted horn on the edge of his snout, along with the unicorn like horn on his forehead. His mane was a Zebrican mohawk, and he appeared fierce, with dark slanted eyes, and a ring through his nostrils. But he was polite, and amiable with the other members of royalty when he did actually utter any words, and his unification with the zebra princess was a great advancement in the traditionally separate races. It was a union of unicorn magic and traditional zebra sorcery, well supported by Princess Celestia and the rest of the equine kingdoms. Harmony was our goal, even if our kingdoms were under different rule.
The griffon representatives from the aptly named Griffon Kingdom were a people I had never seen before, and never expected to see. I had always been a little afraid of them, along with the dragons of the far South-East, just because I had led a sheltered life, and the idea of meat-eating giant birds with bodies of lions walking around with other ponies struck me as terrifying. Although my own country was a popular tourist destination for them. But like I said, I had always been sheltered, and knew nothing of the outside world besides what I could read in books. Until I attended that meeting.
The Griffon Kingdom was a Patriarchy unlike our own, and was represented only by a fierce looking elderly king and his guards who I had trouble looking at without shivering. Equestria had remained peaceful with them for hundreds of years now, but this guy didn’t seem like he liked that. Or he just didn’t want to bother with me, the new little pony princess. Which was fine with me because I really didn’t want to bother with him either.
Still, he seemed to get along well with my aunt and my parents, and just because I was afraid of him I wasn’t going to ruin centuries of peace by being rude. So I fearfully introduced myself to the king, and it turns out he just needed a little encouragement, for as soon as I said ‘hello’ he responded in kind, with a charmingly accented congratulation on my becoming a debutante, and bowed deeply to me. It seemed there was more to the griffons than I really knew. And I was glad of it.
The representatives who made the biggest impression on me, and quite possibly changed my life though, were the kirin from Neighpon. Or more specifically, the king and queen representatives of Ryuuma-kyu, an island off the coast of Neighpon that was populated by the rare and beautiful Equasian Kirin, a dragon and unicorn hybrid creature with a unicorn's magic and grace, and dragon's fierceness and strength, along with their long lifespans making the kirin of Ryuuma-kyu as ancient as the alicorns. Or perhaps even more so.
The two representatives for the isolated little island only open for Equestrian tourism and trade, and as a haven where anypony who chose to love a dragon could live together without prejudice, were the kirin king and queen, Ryuuma-jin and Sei-ryuuma. The king was a tall, long legged, somewhat equine-like creature with almond shaped draconic eyes, and a tall backwards curving gold horn on his forehead. He had a broad alicorn muzzle with a long mustache reminiscent of the Eqausian dragons he was descended from, and a wild crimson mane flowing down the back of his lengthy neck. His body was long and slender, and was covered in thick, midnight-blue fur that trailed down in tufts at his split toed cloven hooves. Dragon scales rested on a yellow belly, and continued down his reptilian tail ending in ruffles of fur the colour of his mane like a lion’s tail.
I bowed, nervously, unable to take my eyes off the strange and new creatures, and the king of the kirin smiled kindly at me. “Hello, young princess.” his voice was deep, and thickly accented as he bowed to me, and I responded.
The slighter more equine-like queen stepped forward and bowed also. She looked a little more like a unicorn, with a regal muzzle, soft eyes like my aunt’s, and a silver curved horn. But she still possessed a dragon’s pupil, light green scaled belly, and a long reptilian tail. Her coat was an azure colour that shone in the light, while her mane was the darkest of ebony but with a violet tint, and hung down all the way to the floor, only partially held up by her back. They were beautiful and majestic creatures and I felt no fear of them, only awe and a sense of their benevolence and strong magic.
“We have been hoping to meet you for some time now, princess,” The queen spoke in a soft, melodic voice, and I tilted my head to one side, wondering why a foreign queen would be interested in me.
"You wanted to meet me?" I asked, stupidly.
"Yes, Princess Cadenza. For we have heard much about you from Princess Celestia, and believe we may have the answers to some of the questions you may be seeking about your ancient origins."
I felt a sudden pain in my chest at the thought of being able to learn more about the mystery of who I was, and what being a Mederi actually meant, especially since I had seemed to defy their tragic fate. Could these dragon descendant unicorns more ancient than my own alicorn aunt really know something about the lost alicorns of which I was the last? Had they once known a pony like me?
"You know who I am?" I stammered, as my heart hammered against my ribs, my hopes rising dangerously as they always did.
"Yes, child. The kirin of Equasia are an ancient species like the alicorn, and we have met the heart-healer ponies---the Mederi of which you are descended from.”
“You’ve met them? You knew another pony like me?” my words were shaky, struck short with emotion as I tried to imagine what it might be like to meet another like me. What could I learn from them? Could they show me how they could heal? Would they know if I was truly one of them? Or was there anything I could teach them?
“They are no longer in this world. You are the only one we have seen in thousands of years, but they live on in our ancient culture. The healing and love they brought to us helped shape our country into what it has become, and the unicorns, dragons and kirin of our land continue to worship them, and practice the lessons in love and hope that they taught us in a very dark time.” the kirin queen’s voice seemed to darken as did her words. I knew nothing about Neighpon or the kirin so I could only imagine what their history might have been like, and how my ancestors could have somehow helped them. A place peaceful with dragons could not have always been like that could it?
“I don’t understand. Did the Mederi live in your land? I thought they were only in old Equestria. What did they do to change your country? And how do you practice their magic? Isn’t that something only they could do?” questions seemed to slip through my lips like water as they piled up in my brain. I couldn’t possibly express them all, but I burned inside to try. This may be my last and only chance to do so.
“Calm down, little one.” the king spoke up then, reaching his fur lined hoof out to me. “We do not know much more than you do now, but the shrine unicorns and to a lesser extent the kirin too may be able to show you what they have learned through their studies. They have dedicated their lives to studying the healing that was shown to us, and how to focus the mind to replicate the Mederi’s emotion sensing magic, and may be able to show you what they have learned. We can only offer you this description of our culture and hope that you can one day come to our land to find the answers you are looking for. Our own interaction with your ancestors was limited, but they live on in our tiny kingdom, and we would be honoured to show you what we can to aid you in your quest.”
I felt the disappointment like a punch in my belly, my ears bent low as I realized I would learn nothing that day, that I had to somehow make the journey to Ryuuma-kyu myself. A reality that may not be so hard as a member of royalty, but I would surely have to wait until I was full grown to do so.
But just last year it had almost been too late for me.
"I-I see." I sighed, fighting back tears at the sudden crash of my unstable and debilitating emotions as my hopes for discovering more about myself shattered in my heart. "I hope I can visit your country one day. I will try." I added, sadly, unable to hide just how disappointed and heartbroken I was.
"Princess, we are sorry. We did not mean to upset you. I am sorry we could not offer you more than we have. I hope someday you can come to our island and learn whatever it is you are meant to learn, and find whatever you are meant to find." the queen said, solemnly, her concern evident to me in more ways than my magic could sense. “You are welcome anytime.” she brought a handkerchief of the softest silk over to me in her golden magic, and wiped the tears from my eyes as softly as my mother would, and I smiled.
I would eventually go to the ancient land of Neighpon, and the island of Ryuuma-kyu when I got older. I held onto the silk handkerchief given to me as a gift from the beautiful dragon-unicorn hybrid creatures called the kirin as one of my most cherished possessions. There wasn’t anything else like it in Equestria, and the cherry blossom design was the same colour as my coat, the flowers of an ancient culture I longed to see. Until the time came for me to journey to that great land. And to find the answers I was looking for. Alone.
“I can’t believe you actually got to meet a kirin!” Shining Armor exclaimed, dreamily as we hid together under the leaves of our willow tree. My aunt’s sun bright and warm in the cloudless early summer sky.
“They were amazing.” I murmured, blushing a little as I told him what I could about meeting the ancient creatures and how they seemed to understand my magic along with who I really was. More than he ever could.
“You are so lucky. I mean, the only way to even get to their island is to be a registered partner to a citizen, or be a part of approved trade. But I guess as royalty you can bypass all that. I mean, jeez, they were here in Canterlot. How did they even travel here? Were they huge? Like real dragons? Did they even fit in the palace?” the young stallion rambled on into the sun rays shining through the branches as I cuddled up to him. I loved the feel of his passion and curiosity, his insatiable thirst for knowledge of something new, of something grand, just like his little sister. They were so alike. So dear.
“I thought maybe the royal guard could get a chance to visit their land, but turns out we’re not welcome either unless accompanying a princess on a royal visit….” His ears perked up and he looked down at me. “Hey, maybe I can accompany you one day.”
“Maybe you can...” I sighed, drunk on the sweetness of the love I could feel in my heart whenever I was around him, and the warmth of his soft body against me.
I closed my eyes as he spoke more, still listening to his dreamy speech, but resting my tired body and mind after a whirlwind of activity the past few days. This was a place I felt more relaxed in than my unfamiliar Canterlot bed. A more meaningful softness, a more restful respite.
I drifted between wakefulness and sleep. Trusting I was safe in his forelegs, and forgetting the anxiety of what lay ahead. A familiar tickle on my nose brought me back, and I smiled as I looked into his eyes and returned the kiss.
“Did you really fall asleep on me? Am I that boring?” He joked.
“I’m sorry. I just felt so comfortable laying here with you. And it's been a busy few days.” I replied, dreamily.
“Are your royal duties catching up to you, princess?” he asked in that slightly mocking tone that made me giggle.
“Hmm.. maybe a little.”
“I know what you need,” I watched as he sauntered over to the edge of our small space, where tendrils of the willow leaves fell over his mane before he turned back to me, “a proper date.” he flashed a brilliant grin, trying to be sauve I supposed, but it was ruined by the leaves hanging over his face and I giggled.
“And how are we going to do that?” I asked, helping him by magically parting the greenery from his forehead.
“Oh, I have my ways.”
The discomfort of the cloak draped over my back, covering my much larger wings like a time so long ago was lost on me as I giggled and thrust the frothy milkshake at my silly colt friend's nose. His grin was so wide it seemed to cover his comically mismatched coloured mustache, his mane flopping into his bespectacled eyes. He was so bright to me that I no longer had to squint through my own dark glasses to see him.
His silly disguises had allowed us to go to a cafe together with only minimal stares and embarrassment, but most importantly freedom from the prying eyes of the ponyrazzi.
“You look like Shercolt Holmes.” I giggled, blushing, discreetly under my hoof.
“And you look like Marelyn Monroe.” Shining Armor chuckled, and then feigned distress. “ I did a terrible disguise job. Now you’ll have even more Ponyrazzi after you.”
I giggled, blissfully as he nuzzled against me.
It was true we did get a few strange looks, for our lovey doveyness or our strange disguises, it didn’t matter. We still were together, unimpaired, and having a simple milkshake on a date as any yearling colt or filly could hope to do. As we had done only a year ago, when I was still that shy, scared filly, unable to show him or anypony who I really was.
We talked about all the things we had missed while separated. He told me how he was a part of the Junior Equestria Army Reserves now and only had to attend short summer training sessions leaving him time to see me during this visit. How he traveled around Equestria to battle sites of the past with his fellow cadets, and other military bases, hoping each time to receive a post in Roam near me. About joining the hoofball team and suffering a concussion where he blurted that he dated me and has never heard the end of it from his classmates who didn’t believe him. And proudly spoke of the leadership award he had earned that winter, unprecedented for a colt his age or rank, earning him a congratulatory visit from Princess Celestia.
He blushed more and more with each of his words, finally looking down in bashfulness at the mention of the high princess, but I took his hoof and smiled. I was so proud of him. So happy to hear that he was happy, and that even though he had a full and productive life, sometimes he still thought of me.
I told him what I could about the year past. About the lengthy tutoring sessions, the pranks I played on my curmudgeonly old wizard teacher when I could, the long choir practices in the basilicas where I was expected to perform for my country. My only real royal duty then, but it did give me a little more social interaction. Even if that interaction was with snooty nobles just like everything else. And the soft, white kitten mom had bought me to help spend my days when I was still weak and bedridden. How I named her Splendente, and I watched as his blush grew when I explained that it was the Istalian word for Shining. The kitten’s deep blue eyes always reminded me of him.
“It's a nice cat right? It's not one of those evil bitey-scratchy ones is it?” He asked, narrowing his eyes as he pointed a hoof at me.
“No, she’s a sweetie like you,” I chuckled. “But she’s afraid of her own shadow.”
“I hope you don’t think we have that in common.”
“Hmm, maybe just a little...” I laughed and covered my face as he flicked whipped cream at me.
It felt so normal to laugh and joke around with him. As if we hadn’t been separated for a year, and had always been together. As if there had been no secrets, no lies. I hadn’t hid my true self from him, and we were as close as foal hood friends. No shyness, no need to censor words or feelings. It was as natural as pure air.
And then his mustache fell off.
Giggling, I sat back in my chair, as he fished the disguise out from his milkshake, and of course, my giant floppy hat fell over my face, uncovering my mane for all to see.
“Uh oh…”
It was my mane. It really was. My long, subtly gradated, multi-coloured locks were as conspicuous as my wings and horn in their obscurity, and we were noticed.
“Oh my Celestia. It’s the princess!” Somepony squealed from the table across from me in the now familiar way they had when seeing some sort of celebrity.
“And she’s with the colt we read about. Could this be an actual date?”
“Duh…” I muttered under my breath, at a point now where I just had to accept their mindless drivel and move on.
“I wanna get a selfie with them for my scrapbook!”
I couldn’t manage to face hoof hard enough before they were in front of us, cameras at the ready, causing a ripple of curious stares across the cafe as I sank down in my seat.
Plump, middle aged housemare ponies who probably didn’t have much else to do excitedly confirmed that I was indeed who they thought I was with the incredibly subtle whinny of, “Are you really Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?”
Nope, I’m Marelyn Monroe here to haunt your dreams, I thought even as my noble upbringing forced me to answer in the affirmative with polite, regal composure.
I watched miserably as Shining Armor scrambled to retrieve his disguise, then sauntered over to us with a tip of his hat to the mares.
“Terribly sorry, ladies, but the princess really must be going now.” he trilled in an unexpected Cockneigh accent as he put his hoof over my shoulder and started to push me from my seat.
I giggled, and demurely waved as he dragged me through the crowd of bewildered on-lookers muttering something about my ‘royal duties’ and 'cake' as we spilled onto the street.
“It’s the princess!”
“Princess Cadance!”
Quicker than I could imagine the ponies milling about on the streets became aware of me through the shouts from the cafe patrons, or just from glimpsing the two of us tumble out the door. They descended on us before I could even get up, cameras blinding me senseless as I tried to cover my eyes.
“Go, go!!” Shining cried, suddenly lifting me to my hooves in his magic aura and hurrying me out of the crowd. And somehow this time as we ran together through the streets it didn’t feel as horrible to be chased by them. It was fun to gallop with him as he protected me in his silly but gallant way. It was a rush to have that small freedom again to just run and hide like little foals playing hide and seek.
We ducked into an alleyway just losing the crowd by our tails. Shining Armor stood up on his hind legs with his back against the wall, and diligently watched out for anymore overly curious ponies as only a trained guard like him could do. I stood up beside him and started to laugh somewhat maniacally as I took in our hopeless situation and how very silly it really was. He turned to me and started to laugh too, clutching his unshorn hoof to his head and together we slid down the wall in resigned giggles where I hugged him close to me and burrowed into his soft white fur.
“I guess…” I gasped between giggles, looking up into his blue eyes bright with laughter. “...this is how it’s going to be now.”
“Looks like it.” he responded with barely controlled chuckles.
“Oh, but we looked like such fake dorks. What were those ponies supposed to think?” I demanded of no pony in particular, lost in my own laughter and squeezed him closer.
“I know. What were we thinking?” the colt added, tossing away the last of his disguise.
I picked up the moustache and glasses and put them on, grinning at him. “We could switch,”
I was rewarded with a coltish smirk from Shining Armor, but I sighed, letting the failed disguise fall into my outstretched hooves. It was the face of another pony. One who didn’t worry about Ponyrazzi or housemares with too much time on their hooves. A colt free to walk down the streets with their marefriend. The mare I couldn’t ever be for him.
“It really is hopeless now… I can’t even go on a date with you…” the laughter faded in my heart as I spoke these very real words. There was no running away from them now. As much as we couldn’t escape the actual curiosity and invasion of privacy from those meddlesome ponies, we also couldn’t escape the fact that this was how it was now. This was what my life had become. And as my emotions that seemed to rise and fall like the setting of the sun faded into despondency, I feared it would not be what he would want. And I couldn’t do anything to change it for him.
“Hey,” Shining Armor’s gentle voice enveloped me as he lifted my neck up to look into his caring eyes. “Nothing’s hopeless, and no pony is stopping us from seeing each other,” he smiled softly.
“We just have to be creative in our ways.”
“Like how? Hide in another tree?” I dead panned, grumpily turning away from him.
“No…” he nudged my chin back over to him. “You just have to fly, Princess.”
I reached the mountaintop before him this time. I didn’t hurt my hoof, or become breathless, it was me who pulled him up to the final ledge of the cliffs overlooking Canterlot where we had had our first date last summer. It was another hideaway, as was our only choice now, but at least it held the memory of a time when we were free together and oblivious of what lay ahead for us.
“No fair, you have huge alicorn wings.” Shining Armor breathed as I walked with him along the rocky edge, the sun hazy and low in the sky just as I remembered.
“You’re the one who told me to fly here,” I reminded him with a smirk, which he returned before we settled in a patch of grass together.
“And did you encounter any ponyrazzi or other pretty princess stalkers along the way?”
“Actually, there was a pegasus that tried to get a shot of me but I’m pretty sure he was frightened off by my ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE of GO AWAY!” I laughed, minimally demonstrating the archaic, and excessively loud voice of address my aunt had shown me once.
The colt blinked and rubbed at his ears. “Effective.”
“I’m sorry! Did I hurt your ears? I didn’t mean to… Oh, I was just trying to make you laugh, I didn’t mean to—“ My anxious cries of concern were suddenly cut off as he gently kissed me and guided me closer to him. I instantly relaxed as his touch could always do for me and my sudden empathetic freak outs.
“Effective.” I mimicked, snuggling against his chest, and he chuckled as he brought his hoof up along my back causing a slight tingle to go between my wings, and suddenly I felt them flutter out behind me.
“Ah hah!” Shining Armor exclaimed, and I squealed, clutching my cheeks as they burned in a blush as hot as any fever and I turned away, covering my face in my hooves, and wrapped the traitorous appendages around myself. I had not wanted him to see that. It wasn’t at all princess-like. It was so embarrassing!
He had already joked about how Pegasus wings seemed to respond to passionate and even sexual feelings, probably hearing about this from his own Pegasus friends, but I had actually not experienced it. I was not even sure if I was pegasus enough to. I had been lucky they had stayed put the year before. In any case, the unicorn colt I loved had grown a little more frisky and bold over the past year, as I had tried to joke about with him, and he was older than me—in more ways than age. He had the social experience to compare his changing hormones and conflicting feelings and experiences with, while I was still sheltered and innocent with my parents the only ponies to explain about growing up, and the mysteries of puberty to me (however much I didn’t want to hear it from them,) and he had not only been the first and only pony to show me what love was, he had been my first friend. I was so naive.
“Oh Goddesses!” I whined, squeezing my eyes shut as he laughed and reached out to hold me closer, but again, the feathered monsters flapped out and slapped his hoof away. It may not have been just a reflex that time.
“Whoa, I didn’t know wings could do that.” he blinked, his forelegs still stretched out toward me.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about wings…” I murmured, curling myself up, more shy and embarrassed than I ever had been with him.
“I know they’re soft and warm and fuzzy,” The colt’s laughs receded and I felt his gentle touch along my furled up wings, the resultant shiver warmer inside me this time. “And yours look like Twily tried to paint them her coat colour but gave up half-way.” he smiled, making me feel a little better as he shifted back to his silly, coltish self.
“Ugh, she wouldn’t dare.” I muttered giving him my own slight smile as I felt the heat along my cheeks start to cool and my heart return to its own familiar rhythm.
A placid sigh escaped the colt’s lips and he shifted to his hooves as I felt the cloak still resting on my shoulders lift from over my wings. I watched as a rose coloured aura drifted it to the grass near the edge of the cliffs over Canterlot. The fleece material spread out among the grass like a blanket and Shining gestured for me to sit with a reassuring and gentle smile with which he tried to mask his feelings from me. But he couldn’t. Nopony could.
I felt his despondency, his battle inside to not push more, his frustration. He wanted to follow his feelings as much as I did too, but he was frightened, blocked inside by fear and his own sense of morality. I felt it too, like I could never hold him close enough to me, like if I didn’t let myself get closer to him I would never have the chance to. This was the first time I had seen him in a year and I still couldn’t count on when I would see him again. How long could either of us hold on to those feelings deep inside? How long would he?
We were quiet then. Both a little lost, a little shy and embaressed. The cooling evening breeze drifted through my mane, long and loose along my back, and I saw the colours in the sky seem to mimick its candy coloured shades as the sun hung low on the horizon. Was that who I would become? A princess of this fleeting golden moment between day and night? Or the equally rose and lavendar colours as the time of dawn when the sun rose again? It wasn’t the first I had thought of it. And its connection to my uncertain and challenging future helped me focus on something else besides the arduous, passionate emotions I tried to keep at bay.
“Hey, look,” Shining Armor’s deep, soft voice drifted toward me and I saw as he did the distant form of the true Princess of Equestria flying into the horizon, the aforementioned colours fading as the distant, shining moon followed underneath her.
“So I guess Princess Celestia is training you to raise the sun now too, huh?”
“What?” I turned to the white unicorn surprised that his thoughts were so alike to mine. “No. I may be her heiress in title but I don’t have any connection to the celestial bodies like she does,” I paused, thoughtfully, staring down at my hooves, the new moon glinting off the silver slippers. “I mean I guess I could eventually... all unicorns can, right?” Shining’s eyes brightened with understanding as I turned back to him and smiled.
It hadn’t always been Princess Celestia who raised the sun and moon alone. If we were to believe the legends another alicorn had dominion over the moon and stars once but had been cast away due to envy in her heart. A story that seemed to fit with our own ancient history which spoke of the most great and powerful of all unicorns getting together to raise the sun and moon each day at the expense of all their great magic inside. Only an alicorn of an ancient and lost race with the power of the tri-ponykind could handle the heavens themselves without the loss of their magic. And so that was how it had been for thousands of years.
A muggy and distant lore seemed to confirm the existence of the second one, the moon princess who would become Nightmare Moon of which I found some testament of by reading old books my aunt sent me during my time of convalescence. I had wondered if she had been trying to tell me something as the books continued to pile up by my bed then, but she had been as impassive and reticent as ever when I tried to speak to her about it. I was always left in the dark. Her sun’s lost shadow.
“But I’m not her real daughter. Her true heiress. I know she wishes to train me as one... I am the only alicorn besides she...” I continued to speak, gazing into the now darkened but starry night sky. “But I’m torn, you know? I have a duty to my own country, a family... its.... complicated.” I sighed, deep and wearily lapsing down amongst the warmth of the fleece and settling close to the warm body of my dear colt.
“Hmm... I sort of have the same problem...” Shining Armor started, pensively his eyes still gazing out into the moonlight. “I mean my father always wanted me to be a scholar like him, but all I want is to be like my uncle in the royal guard. I mean Dad has given me his blessing now and Twily’s pretty much the scholar now.... but I still want him to be proud of me, you know?”
“I try to get the best grades, do projects for extra credit, hay, I’ve even had Twily help me but its hard to do both. I mean my training or grades is going to suffer if I slow down on one or the other so...ugh its exhausting.” He put his head in his hooves and pushed back his scruffy mane before turning to me blushing as a slight chuckle escaped his lips. “And you have to worry about ruling a country or learning to move planets in the sky....my problems are nothing compared to yours. I’m sorry.”
His deepest troubles touched my heart as I perceived them and could feel the same yearning from his words as my own, however trivial he may believe they were.
I leaned over and lay my hoof on the unicorn colt’s back before speaking, “No Shining, I want to hear what’s troubling you. I want to be able to help you too. I may have big political trials to deal with but that doesn’t mean I care any less about yours.”
With the emphatic fervor in my voice I hoped he could recognize that I was serious and his problems were meaningful to me. They were just as valid as mine.
“I do believe you are feeling torn in the same way I am. You want to do what your family thinks is right for you but have other desires for yourself. In this we differ because you can do what I cannot. You have the liberty to do what makes you happy. You can be the pony you want to be, not who your parents or your uncle or even your country want, but who you want. You have the freedom to do that for yourself. I don’t. Its in your hooves and you’re going to be an amazing royal guard one day. One I would trust in mine and my family’s care always.” I smiled at the shine in his eyes as I poured my heart into giving him the reassurance he needed and I could discern how he longed for.
“If your father can’t be proud of you for that at least know I am. I’ll always be proud of you and know I’m on your side. Embrace your freedom to decide for yourself what you want to be and never lose sight of your beautiful dreams.” I lay my hoof on his and smiled lovingly as he turned away and rubbed at his eyes his cheeks flushing. But I didn’t miss the tears. I could feel them myself.
“Jeez, Cadance, you always know just what to say to make a pony feel better...” he breathed his voice breaking.
“It comes with the talent.” I grinned and cherished in his laugh as the stars glistened brightly overhead.
“But if you could do something besides government what would you want to do? You must have dreams of your own...” Shining Armor asked of me with as much care apparent as I had tried to show him. But it was difficult for me to respond.
“Um... well...” I turned away, feeling flushed and mumbled something incoherent so that the colt reached over and turned my head back to him so that our eyes met.
“Hey, come on, I know you have dreams too. Don’t be shy with me.” his smile steadied my pounding heart and I knew I could keep my fornlorn wishes safe in his care and not worry about sounding silly or ungrateful for what I had or who I was.
“I’ve always liked to sing...” I started, softly. “I sing soprano in the choir at home but I don’t want to sing traditional songs like that... I like to sing the songs on the radio like Marea Cary. I guess I’d like to be a singer... like her.” I giggled, gingerly into my hooves and waited for him to laugh with me but it didn’t happen.
“Will you sing for me?”
With the trust I could now and always had felt from him my resolve I lay my gentle wing against his side and lifted the melody I always felt in my heart to the stars and the ears of my first true audience.
“There’s a hero... if you look inside your heart... you don’t have to be afraid of what you are...”
“Your highness, I do think that having a pizza delivered to the palace might be a security concern.” The stoic uniform-coloured and comparably stale personality wielding royal guard tried to tell me again as we waited at the door in the castle entrance hall. A bell like giggle escaped the mouth of the lithe, white unicorn filly standing beside me as I patted the withers of the discomfited guard.
“Oh come on, what’s a pizza delivery pony going to do?” I reassured him, then narrowed my eyes and turned to my friend beside me, “And I told you, I’m not in charge right now-- she is.” I pointed a hoof at Sweetheart who blushed and the heavy tiara along her head listed to the side just like it always did on me. I couldn’t help but giggle too as I adjusted it for her in my magic.
Aunt Celestia had graciously approved of me having Sweetheart stay in the castle guestrooms with me that warm summer evening. My parents didn’t mind either as long as the Princess permitted it and I behaved myself like a princess should... whatever that meant. And I was so happy. It was my first ever sleepover party and I was going to make sure everything I had ever read about or seen in movies could be experienced and become a part of my memories. And ordering a pizza was much more fitting of a slumber party than anything the palace kitchens could provide.
I had also temporarily bestowed my royal title and regalia on my dear friend as had always been her unexpressed wish which confused the guards more than ordering a pizza to a high castle ever could.
“Cadance, you really don’t have to--” Sweetheart started to say and then we all turned around at the somewhat recognizable but incredibly unexpected sound of a doorbell ringing.
“Whoa, there actually is a doorbell...” the guard muttered incredulously.
I blinked myself not really thinking this part through as I copied the lives of middle class ponies seen acted out in dramas of which I had never been apart of, and followed Sweetheart’s hesitant advice on what exactly a slumber party entailed. Actually, I had had a book on the subject once but gave it away to Twilight when we had failed at every step together and gave up.
Shrugging, I used my magic and pulled at the heavy, ornate doors and stepped back as they opened to reveal---a skinny unicorn colt not much older than myself, crushed between the large bodies of two more royal guards. They blocked him with their spears from going further as he clutched at his aura’s hold on a pizza box balanced precariously in the air.
“Put him down!” I shouted, as regally as I could, feeling more than a little bad for the poor delivery pony. The two soldiers unceremoniously dropped the colt to the ground but he still somehow managed to hold onto the pizza box. The two guards then scrambled to their hooves and saluted me.
“Your highness, Princess Cadance!”
I ignored them and Sweetheart followed me to the steps where the unfortunate courier sat dazedly and took the pizza box into my own aura and set it inside, before reaching out a hoof to help him up.
“I’m so sorry, sir. Are you alright?”
“Uh... I have a delivery for uh...um..” the dusky orange unicorn stammered as he focused on the two ponies in front of him. “Princess!” And he dropped back to the ground in a bow and I face hoofed before coaxing him back to his hooves.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. You did nothing wrong. I ordered the pizza here to the castle but didn’t think about how you could get in....” I told him guilt setting in on me for causing such a mess for an innocent pony. I was so silly. Of course this would happen with the castle entrance guards. I couldn’t just do something as normal as get pizza delivery could I?
“Here, did those bullying guards hurt you? Oh, you have a scrape on your fetlock.” Sweetheart sat down beside the delivery colt and held out his left hind leg to her breast.
“Oh um, don’t worry about it your majesty..” the young unicorn mumbled, rubbing his front leg behind his head, his blemished young face flushing.
“Come now, you can’t continue delivering with a hurt hoof,” Sweetheart soothed as she retrieved a small bandage from her purse at her side and guided it in her magic to him.
“You just happened to have those on you, huh?” Was all I could think to say to her, going into my own purse to find money to pay for the order and whatever else I could give as a tip for the poor pony’s unintended suffering and harrassment.
Sweetheart grinned. “Of course, its part of my medical training.” Her light hearted smile and seeing the delivery pony get back up with his dopey puppy dog eyes never leaving Sweetheart’s own started to relax me and I realized how ridiculous the situation really was. And how as usual my sweet little friend had somehow fixed it.
“T-thank you your highness...”
“Apologies on behalf of the palace! Please accept this gratuity in compensention.” I shoved my whole purse at the unsuspecting colt who only took his eyes off his kind eyed caretaker when the bag fell into his hooves and knocked him over again.
Fed up with the whole situation I turned to the entrance guards still standing stalk still before me, and glared until they offered their own apologies.
“Thank you again for coming here and I’m very sorry about the mixup. You take care for the rest of your deliveries tonight, alright?” Sweetheart gently continued her undaunted nursing of the young colt who bowed cermoniously in front of her.
“Its been an honour, princess!” he squeaked out before galloping off toward the main courtyard exit gates in a cloud of dust. Come to think of it how did he even get that far in the first place?
Stunned, I turned to walk back inside, mumbling for the guards to be at ease again. Sweetheart followed me in silence and as the doors closed behind us we leaned back against them letting out a breath of relief. “Well... that went well..” I murmured turning to the filly beside me and as our eyes met, Sweetheart burst out into infectious laughter that I couldn’t help but join in with her.
“That poor colt!” she giggled, harmoniously her breaths lost in the melodic sequence.
“He totally thought you were the princess!” I added, the tightness in my chest loosening as I sank back against the door beside her. As much as this whole thing had been a disaster and had me anxious over messing things up and hurting somepony, Sweetheart’s kindness and jubilant laughter transformed those turbulent emotions into helpless laughter of my own.
Covering her mouth with her hooves my friend guided me in laughing more and I felt tears in my eyes from the joyful feeling of losing myself in giggles and laughing at the most ridiculous of things. Just like any other filly my age would do.
“So, are you going to share that after all this?” the gruff voice of the original castle door guard interrupted, poking his nose toward the forgotten pizza box on the floor. But we just laughed harder, more shrill and undignified so that he rolled his eyes and turned away.
“Girls.”
We shared with the guard of course. Even Aunt Celestia (who had been disrupted by our crazed giggles) came to join us, surprised that we had actually gotten a pizza delivery to the castle just as much as we had been.
We stood in the castle kitchens and ate at the island counter without cutlery or even sitting down at a table. It was so strange to me but also so perfect. A princesses’s chance to let their manes down. And to show my friend that we were just like other ponies like herself.
Still, Sweetheart was shy around my regal aunt--her real princess-- and didn’t talk much, embarassed and blushing from the result of our silly behaviour.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, Princess,” She mumbled, hanging her head, her self conciousness hanging heavy in the air.
“Uh yeah, sorry Auntie.” I said in between a mouthful of pizza, although I knew Aunt Celestia wouldn’t be upset at all. Still, I felt bad that Sweetheart was.
“Come now, young filly, you are here eating pizza with two princesses and a royal guard in the palace kitchens. This is about as far as a formal engagement as you can get. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I want you and Cadance to have a wonderful time at your slumber party,” The kind hearted monarch said, gently laying a hoof on her shoulder. “And you are not in my school now.” she added, emphatically.
“Yeah Sweetheart, Princess Celestia is cool.” I encouraged grinning at my royal aunt.
“Cool?” The Sun princess pondered aloud. “I do believe that is the first time I have heard a young pony refer to me as such.”
This made Sweetheart giggle into her hooves again, hiding her face that was still flushed around her cheeks.
I would later find out from her, (and discover for myself) that Princess Celestia, Headmare of the school of magic where Sweetheart studied at was not as easygoing and forgiving as she had shown me as a family member. She was by no means cruel, but a strict yet fair teacher who had high expectations for her talented students and demanded as much respect from them as she gave in return. As the ruler of our land with a multitude of royal duties she was not able to be the aproachable, fun loving mare as I knew. In fact, the students only spoke to her if they were in some sort of trouble or for a special academic achievement. They were pretty much terrified of her, and I could see why my friend had been confused to have the Headmare and Princess she knew only as an authority figure join our pizza party and act casual and like any other pony.
“Sweetheart of House Remedy, class 2A, you have always managed to keep my neice out of trouble, and above all have been a dear friend to her. I want to thank you for that.” Aware of her students’ conceptions of her Princess Celestia leaned her neck closer to the yearling filly and spoke to her gently and kindly, so that she visibly relaxed and the heavy emotions in the air subdued.
With bright, clear eyes, no longer ashamed or scared, Sweetheart looked into her teacher and princess’s eyes. “You don’t need to thank me, your majesty. I really like Cadance. She’s so sweet and kind and the most loving pony I know.” I only vaguely could make out when she turned to me and smiled, my eyes blurred by heart-touched tears.
“Aww, I love you too, Sweetheart!” I cried and grabbed onto her in a hug, feeling familiar warmth spread through me and into my heart. A different kind of feeling than I felt with Shining Armor. Her treasured words were just how I thought of her too, and to hear them about myself reminded me that I had learned that love was present in all types of relationships, not just the romantic love I had longed for, and I had found it in so many ways that one summer only a year ago. My dearest friend had always shown that multi-faceted emotion to me through her compassion and trusting nature. Encouraging and supporting me in some of my most difficult times. I only hoped I could be there for her too even with our distances so far apart.
It’s you who is the most loving pony. It was you I learned it from. You and Shining Armor showed me to love myself as much as anypony else. And through that I could spread love to others as was my calling. But I couldn’t have done any of it without you.
“Well, I’m sure you two girls have more things planned than sitting around with this old mare all night. I will retire to my quarters now and let you get back to your fun.” Princess Celestia said as she finished helping us clean up. It was no time to bother any of the castle staff to do it and we only had a small amount of dishes, while we gave the guard the leftovers to share with the rest of the night soldiers. I’d have to tell Shiny about the hidden benefits of his chosen career later.
“Goodnight Aunt Celestia.” we both said while Sweetheart omitted the familial title.
“I’ll be sure to make you my specialty pancakes tomorrow morning, so don’t stay up too late.” She added, smiling as she started to take her leave.
“Wait... Princess Celestia makes pancakes?” Sweetheart asked turning to me.
I giggled thinking about the sweet, decorative stacked pancakes with fruit faces and whip cream manes she had made on weekends for my last visit. “Just wait.”
We did our best to fill that evening with all the fun things a slumber party was supposed to have including more snacks, letting Sweetheart try on every piece of royal regalia I owned and taking pictures together dressed up. And trying to do each others’ makeup but failing since she didn’t really wear any, and I would have a mare in waiting usually do mine if I ever wore any myself. But it all ended in giggles and joy no matter how much we messed it up.
Neither of us really had the heart for a pillow fight or any type of truth telling games, (because I could usually guess a lie by the emotions shown to me), but with my mane done up in curlers, and her rosy curls straightened out so she looked completely different, her mane hanging down long past her tail, Sweetheart and I sat side by side in the castle guestroom that had two beds for us each to use and chatted before settling in for the night. Which eventually devolved into Sweetheart telling me a strange and scary story which I would not have expected from my gentle, shy friend. But she had always surprised me.
“Once, many, many moons ago in the eternally green islands of Connemara, Shireland, of my ancestors, there lived a earth pony carpenter and his wife who’s only wish was to have a foal...” With the curtains closed and the lights off she began her tale, letting her light pink glow from her horn shine dimly in front of her as our only light in the darkness of the castle quarters.
“Wait, you’re from Connemara?” I interrupted always interested in other parts of the world that I had been shut away from until now. And somehow it made sense because the ponies of that region of Shireland were known to be usually of short stature as well as other characteristics I realzied I saw in her now.
“My father’s family is...” she paused. “Didn’t my curly mane and how tiny I am give you an idea?” she seemed disheartened.
“Hey, I’m not judging. Ponies expect me to look like Princess Celestia because of my ancestry.” I held up my hooves and shrugged.
“I know you aren’t. Now shush, and let me tell the story.” At her scolding tone I put my hooves over my mouth trying not to giggle and listened attentively.
“Anyway... "
The wife could not bear a foal for the 10 years they had been married. So in desperation they travelled into the dense woods where the husband had been cutting trees for his livelihood. He had been told by the local ponies of the area that there were faeries living in those woods, and they would give bad luck to anypony who disturbed them. But faeries were also known to grant wishes, so he and his wife walked deep into the forest where they came to the largest and most magnificent hawthorn tree untouched by anypony as if it had been protected by the faeries of legend.
So, without thinking of bad luck or anypony but themselves and their desires, they cried out their wish to the forest faeries offering anything in return. The husband promised to stop cutting wood in the area, and the wife promised to be the most loving mother, and to raise a fine stallion or mare who would always pay tribute to the faeries and their world.
Sadly, they did not hear an answer to their plea and they returned home in despair. The husband went back to his work in the faerie forest, despite the locals’ warnings in retaliation for not hearing from them, and the wife continued tending to their household. And yet, in a few weeks she had discovered she was finally pregnant and together they rejoiced in becoming parents.
After an easy pregnancy the wife gave birth to a beautiful baby filly of white coat and white mane with blue eyes of starlight, blessed with the traditional features of the Connemara of the past. They named their foal Féileacán (Fae-la-con) or Butterfly in our language, and were happy. The foal grew healthily and the parents continued with their lives, forgetting about their failed attempt of wishing to the faeries, and believed their good fortune was their own.
“And this is where it gets scary, right?” I chuckled and received a weak slap on my hooves.
“Shush!”
Sweetheart really never did treat me like a princess, just like I’d always wished for. Because who would slap a princess but her best friend? I tried my best to quit giggling and sat up straighter to show I was listening again.
So, the family lived happily until the baby Butterfly became three months old. Despite always wanting a foal, the father would usually have to be working to support the peasent family and did not get to see his lovely foal very often. Because of this he did not notice when the filly began to change... but the mother did.
At first it was small things. The baby would cry more now, when she had been a quiet and temperant child, only crying if needing something or hurt. Then she began to eat more. She was always so hungry and crying because of this and the mother didn’t know how to help her. No matter how much she fed the filly was inconsolable and cried through the night. The only time she was quiet was when the mother held her to her breast and rocked her gently, singing a song about how much she loved her foal. But she could not hold the child forever, and the mother needed to find some relief for her beloved baby filly. She asked the other mares in the village who had little advice except some silly superstitions about the faeries stealing a child away and replacing it with a faerie foal called a Changeling. A faerie child that only looks like your own. She thought of this as only nonsense, and when she told her husband he didn’t notice any change and just thought Butterfly was getting older and bigger and needed more attention from them.
But the child only continued to change. Her pure white mane had grown longer since birth, but had started to change to a sickly, green colour at the roots, growing out fuller each day and covering her original colour. Her incessent crying would redden her muzzle and cheeks, but when she would take a breath or settle to eat her coat colour still seemed to have a tinge of darkness that spread from her face to her ears with each day. And then her teeth began to grow in. They were pointed and sharp like a wolf’s fangs and she bit whomever tried to touch her.
This the husband could not ignore, and he and the wife took the baby to the village doctor and demanded an explanation. The doctor only shook his head and said, “There’s a Changeling alright,” and spoke of the same legend the village mares had told the wife. That the faeries would steal a beautiful foal, or in rare cases a young stallion or mare who was deemed to be alluring by people who know them, for faeries love beauty and grace. There was little she could do but continue to show love and care for the foal, because the faeries could be known to treat their captured child in the same way as you cared for their child, or worse.
Hearing the legend for a second time, and with how very much she had watched her baby change and grow aggressive and inconsoluable, the wife chose to believe the stories despite the husband saying it was more silly old mares’ tales, and he was sick of hearing about faeries and would not have them spoken of in his house again. But the wife remembered their plea and their bargain with the faeries which they had not committed to as they didn’t think the faeries had listened, but what if they had? What if the faeries had blessed them with their beautiful foal, and when they did not return their end of the bargain they had taken their baby away? And the husband continued to destroy their beautiful forest!
Without telling her husband the wife begged the village mares to tell her what she should do to have her baby returned to her if she indeed had been replaced by a Changeling. They had strange remedies such as giving the baby a flute or other instrument and if she jumped up and started to play it she would realize she had been discovered and run away, and the faeries would return her child to her. Or hanging a horseshoe near the baby’s crib because faeries hated the smell and taste of iron and would try to get away. Or the puzzling advice to boil water and fill eggshells with it so that the faerie would reveal itself by speaking aloud about the ridiculousness of such a thing, which a baby of her age should not be able to do. In all cases the faerie should be frightened into leaving the house, and letting the real foal return home. But although the wife tried these things the baby just grew more aggressive and feral so that nopony could touch her except to feed, and the poor mother would always suffer injuries from her sharp fanged teeth. To make matters worse the baby never seemed to sustain nourishment and would no longer grow, and the mother pitied the sickly thing that had once been her beloved filly.
At her wits’ end the mother begged her husband to stop disturbing the faerie forest, and to come with her to offer their apologies to the magical creatures and to plead for their real baby back. But the husband was disgusted at the behaviour and appearance of the child who now had a look of decay about her tiny hooves as if the skin were being rotted from the inside, her ribs skeletal despite that she did nothing but scream and eat. She seemed to be withering away in front of them and there was nothing they could do. The husband said that if they were really to believe that their child was a faerie Changeling then the best way of being rid of one is to throw it in the fire, and if it is a faerie it will save itself and return their true foal to them.
“They didn’t burn the baby did they?” I couldn’t help but interrupt then as the real horror of the story started to settle in.
“No,” Sweetheart replied. “Not in this story anyway.”
I had no words as the truly horrifying story I’d thought wouldn’t bescary came to its dark conclusion.
The wife was horrified and said she would never hurt a child no matter how horrible it was, and whether or not the faeries had taken their foal, this foal was suffering and if going to the faeries and begging for their help could save at least one child, she would do all she could to make it so. But the husband forbade her and said that the next day he would put that creature out of its misery himself.
Desperate to save the foal, that night as the husband slept, the wife snuck out into the forest with the baby cradled close to her to keep her screams at bay. She came to the hawthorn tree where they had called out to the faeries almost a year before. She held up the screaming child and cried out into the darkness of the faerie forest dwelling for forgiveness. She apologized for her and her husband’s actions against them and said she realized they needed to be punished, but the baby shouldn’t have to suffer because of them. She begged them to please take the changeling foal back so that it could grow healthy and strong, and not be in pain anymore. And in fornlorn tears of a mother who had lost a child, she begged for her own child back too. And this time the faeries answered.
In voices of echo and starlite, the faeries told the mother that they were humbled by her desire to help their faerie child as well as her own. That they were grateful she had given love and care to their child because that was what she had needed, and she wasn’t suffering but growing as a faerie child should. And the only way to make sure she would not suffer is to continue to have the mortal mother’s love.
And so the normally relentless faerie people offered the desperate mother a deal. She would be able to see and care for her own foal again if she would continue to care for their child as well. To do this, she would have to give up the mortal world and join them in theirs. And neither she nor her child could ever return.
In this way the pony who had most wronged the faeries was punished. The husband who had continued to destroy their territory, and refused to acknowledge their child had lost both his wife and foal. They were never seen again, and the story of the childless couple who had been granted a foal from the faeries became part of the many legends of the faeries and their changeling children within the isles of Shireland.
The rosy light of Sweetheart’s horn suddenly went out and I couldn’t help but cry out in the darkness. Small hooves held on to my shoulders and the light returned brighter now, lighting up her face in front of me. Gentle blue eyes in a familiar kind face looked into my own. “Hey, its OK, Cady. Its just a story,” She smiled, but her eyes showed concern as I shivered in her hold.
It wasn’t the actual story that held me in the clutches of fear, but was the thought of how these malignant faeries seemed to depend on love to thrive. Like me. What could that possibly mean? Was I some kind of changeling child? An evil faerie? Did my unicorn parents lose their normal unicorn foal to me? Was that the reason for my magic and being unable to survive without love? Was that who the Mederi were? Was I even an alicorn?
“Was it really that scary? Its just a creepy legend my grandfather told me,” her words of comfort started to get a little more frantic as she took in my quick breaths and glazed over eyes.
“B-but aren’t faeries supposed to be tiny, magical, nice ponies? Aren’t they supposed to grant w-wishes?” I stammered out, unable to say the real reason I was scared and shaking.
“W-well.. All fairytales usually have a darker backstory... right?” her own tone seemed to rise in fear and I tried to pull myself together for her sake.
It wasn’t working. “What if they come here? W-what if they take a foal like Twily away? What if they come for me?!” I cried and gripped her shoulders, trying to convince myself as well as her that this was all I feared.
“Its not real though. Its just a legend... like the mare in the moon,”
At that I clutched my hooves to my head and moaned knowing it was no legend, and that most stories were based on some sort of real event.
“OK, OK not that legend! Cadance look at me!” I finally focused on the frantic filly in front of me as she called to me through my blind panic.
In a slow and practiced movement the white unicorn brought her fore hoof up to her chest while she held my shoulder with the other and closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath of air. Opening her eyes she guided me to follow her movements and together we let our breaths out through pursed lips, letting our hooves guide the slow release.
As I felt the renewed oxygen flow through my lungs, my foggy brain started to focus and sort out my anxiety into something more logical, however illogical the whole thing seemed. I knew who I was. I knew what I was. There was no reason to believe this legend was anything but a legend or that it really connected to me in any way. I knew love was a powerful emotion for anypony, not just for me. That all baby creatures needed the love of a caregiver to make sure they survived. Perhaps that was all this story was based on. Or it really was just a scary story from an old Coltic culture shared over thousands of years when the world was different.
“Better?”
I nodded my head slowly, not trusting my voice and felt Sweetheart’s hooves leave my shoulders.
“It really is just a story. Ponies in those times lived difficult lives and they explained things they didn’t understand with stories based on what little magic they knew. I’m sorry for scaring you, Cadance. No Changeling faerie is going to take you. I’ll protect you.” The smaller filly pulled me against her in a hug and I wrapped my wings around her in response, feeling safer and comforted in the darkness of the night.
But I never forgot that story. Maybe I wasn’t meant to.
If only her words of assurance could have been true.
Of all the royal duties I had begun to experience during that visit to Canterlot it had been the ambassador's meeting that truly did show me that some things available to me as a princess were remarkable, and something I should always be grateful to have. That I could meet and even be a diplomat with other peoples of different lands opened up more options to me that I found myself eager to pursue. But it wasn't long before I was forced to remember just why I had always hated my royalty in the first place. Because I was always alone, and the only filly of my kind. That I had never had a friend until now, and the weight of Equestria rested on my wings.
And how much it all could hurt me.
The rest of my family had arrived for the debutante ball of which some of my cousins were also taking part in. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the rest of the royal families, especially the other fillies and colts. My cousins had always been standoffish and rude to me. They didn’t like that I was an alicorn, or the heiress to Equestria, and they definitely weren’t going to be congratulating me on becoming a debutante. I wished I could just go hang out with my real friends. My disastrous but memorable sleepover with Sweetheart seemed like years ago now and the Summer Sun Festival and the end of my visit was fast approaching. I hoped I could at least find some time to meet Shining Armor again before the debutante ball in the next few days.
But I would see him sooner than I thought.
Things were strange that day. Although the palace was full of pony nobility from all over Equestria, and the staff were busy as usual getting ready for yet another banquet, the halls felt empty and forlorn, the air thick and full of tension. I actually wanted to get to the banquet hall where the welcoming party was being held to just be around other ponies and to get away from the strong feelings attacking me. It wasn’t just my own nervousness at confronting my family, it was my inherent ability to sense ponies’ emotions. I knew that something was wrong.
I walked with my father to the party without a word between us. I wondered where my mother was, but felt weighed down by the feeling of wrongness I could feel from him and all around me so I didn't speak. It wasn’t like he was going to volunteer the information himself. And because this was a relatively informal party, (for royalty anyway) I hadn’t needed mom to help me get ready, and figured she was there already with the other mares. She could somehow get along with all those stuck up ponies. She could get along with anypony.
“Your mother is indisposed right now and will not be joining us tonight,” My father suddenly answered my unasked question and I looked up at him, quizzically, but he turned away and muttered, “You will behave like a proper princess, and greet our kin in her place. And I will not have you arguing with your cousins.”
“But I-” I tried to protest, hurt that he would blame me for all the times that my cousins had bullied me into a corner, causing me to leave all the parties in tears over the years. But his stern glare kept my mouth shut, and I hung my head. “Yes, father.”
When I arrived in the great banquet hall it was even worse than I had thought.
Instead of my family treating me like the envied, hybrid, freak they usually did, they showered me in praise and adulation, even going as far as to grab me in a hug, stuffing bouquets of flowers in my aura and planting kisses on both my cheeks as is the Istalian way, but something I hadn’t been worthy of from them since I grew out of the cute foal phase, and was pretty much taller than most of them.
It might have been nice. It might have eased all my worries, made me feel special and loved, and shown me that my family didn’t hate me. But I was an empath. And I knew from my emotion sensing magic that not one of those ponies was being sincere. Not one of them really cared about me. And all I could feel from them was jealousy, resentment and hate.
I tried to ignore it. I tried to smile and take their fake commendation, congratulating them also for their own achievements, but I was starting to feel sick from all the strong, negative emotions, my heart was racing and I felt near tears, until they finally stopped with the artificial praise and asked about my mother.
I said she wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t be there that night, but what did I know? I hadn’t even seen her since the early morning when she said she had some sort of appointment and asked me to please get along with my father until she came back. It wasn’t like I was going to get into a fight with him. We weren’t children. But it was strange she hadn’t made it to the party. She always liked to see our family, with her own sister living in Canterlot it was a rare opportunity, and she hadn’t seemed unwell that morning. I wished she were there. I needed her.
Eventually the adults went off to bother my father, and left me with the other yearlings and foals. Particularly my sixteen year old cousin, Giada Ametistia (which meant Jade Amethyst in Istalian) who put the fake cheer on extra thick as she hugged and kissed me, although I knew she actually burned green with envy under her own pastel green coat.
She had always been jealous of me. For everything I was, and everything I hated about myself. I suppose since she was older than me she probably would have been the first heiress to the throne, but my aunt never even appointed an heiress until I was born. It wasn’t like I took it from her. And it wasn’t like I wanted it. As far as I was concerned she could have it.
The violet maned unicorn older than me by two years was the first born filly of my mother’s younger sister who had always disapproved of her marrying my father as he was not of royal blood. With her mother’s criticism of my own, and jealousy over her bearing an alicorn, my maternal aunt didn’t really care much for me either, and had passed down her resentment to her filly who was spoiled and cruel, bullying me relentlessly, and telling me just what her mother thought of me and the rest of my family.
And I could feel all that covetous emotion through her as she let me go and smirked in what was supposed to be a smile.
"Look at my little cuz, taller than me now. You're starting to look like our aunt more and more, Cadenza," she said snidely, her narrow eyes filled with mischief. "Just how long will that muzzle grow, anyway? You look more stallion then Blueblood over there." She giggled, trying to reach up to my nose with her hind legs, but I took advantage of being taller than her and moved away so she almost fell over. It was my turn to smirk, but her glare of daggers left me reeling back to my meek little self.
Our girlish mind games that looked as amiable as any conversation between two royals to anypony watching was always too much for me, as my brain tried to tell me she was being friendly, while the magic in my heart could tell she most certainly wasn't. And she held nothing but contempt toward me.
"Its nice to see you again too, Giada. Congratulations on your acceptance into Canterbury University." I tried to be kind, to show her I was the mature one, and as much as I didn't want it, the harmonious one, more worthy of being Celestia's successor.
"Hmph, and what do you plan on studying? Or does our aunt just expect you to go into government after you finish your formal education?" She muttered, as bitterly as a lemon rind. I guess kindness didn't work with her, and it wasn't like I had the strength to stand up to her, or resort to her cruel ways.
"Well I would like to learn more about--" I started to say, but then the elder unicorn's eyes lit up with malice as she seemed to remember something, and she interrupted me.
"Or are you planning on getting married? I've heard about your little colt friend. Is he really not even a noble pony?"
As with the ponyrazzi incident, I could put up with her taunting me, but I was not going to let her say anything bad about the pony I loved, and I bristled at her snide remark.
"He's more noble than any prince I've seen. And yes, I will marry him if he asks me." I responded clenching my teeth in anger.
"Hah, and your parents are okay with that? I know Aunt Celestia will let you do whatever your pretty little heart desires, but you're the next crown princess, you can't expect to get away with marrying a commoner. Even I'm not permitted to do such a thing, and I'm just a lowly duchess." Her words were full of her usual bitterness, but the mocking tone was thick and palpable. She knew she had hit me in a sore spot, which seemed to be her life's goal.
"I don't care what any pony says. I love whom I love, and I won't let you insult him just because he isn't part of royalty." I growled, defensively.
As I backed up, my wings spreading out, instinctually, I realized that my other cousins had crowded around us, and embarrassed, I lost my resolve, and stood down.
“I saw you in the magazines too! They said you met the stallion of your dreams here. That’s so romantic!” Glory, a little white filly from the Canterlot nobles spoke up, excitedly. She was a benign little unicorn, not trying to taunt me like Giada was, but she was young and impressionable, and looked up to Giada before she would ever look up to me.
“That it is, Glory, but you know our dear cousin, Cadance’s coltfriend isn’t a noble like us. She’s breaking our family’s rules.” Giada said, pretending to be motherly as she put her hoof around the filly’s neck.
“You are?” she asked, looking over at me, with wide, disillusioned eyes.
“No, I'm not, I---” I tried to explain but was cut off as more of my family expressed their concern over that damned magazine article.
“Is that colt in the royal guard? Are you really dating a guard pony? They like, don’t even talk!” Wysteria, an eleven year old filly spoiled by the royal life and loving it, spoke up, snootily. Of course she wouldn’t appreciate our royal guards and the lives they put on the line for us. She knew nothing else.
“They’re common ponies. Ew.” My other twelve year old cousin, Blueblood grimaced in his creepily feminine elitist way.
“You think everypony is a commoner.” I muttered, trying to stay calm around the younger ponies. It was Giada who was really trying to get to me. The others were just following her.
“Get away from me! You have common pony germs!” the colt shouted, rearing up and trying to push me away with his hooves.
Of course they were also total brats, making Twilight’s impish antics look like a saint’s.
“For once Blueblood is right,” Giada made her presence known to the others with her strong voice, and air of superiority as she stood in front of the group of young nobles. Blueblood smiled smugly, and I just tried to keep my emotions from tearing me apart.
I looked around for somepony to help me, to make them stop torturing me and the stallion I cared for. But there was nothing for me but disapproving glances from my distant relatives, as Aunt Celestia hosted the party at the front of the room, and my mother was nowhere to be seen. I was alone. Just like I always was.
“ I didn’t know that colt is a royal guard. What are you trying to do? Ruin us?” Giada laughed.
“There is nothing wrong with dating a royal guard,” I retorted, angrily. “Shining Armor is strong and kind. He wants to be a part of the royal guard to protect us. Just like all the royal guard do. They’re brave and courageous and they keep us safe. You have no right to criticize them or the pony I love.”
“Heh, love. What do you know about love? You’re just a kid.” Giada smirked, and that made me really angry. Love was my calling. I was the princess of love, a Mederi. It was my destiny to spread love and light around me, and it was only because of that that I was not hitting the cruel unicorn with every hateful insult and possibly physical assault that I could. I was too kind. And too meek.
“I know a lot more than you!” I shouted back, stomping my hoof. And of course everypony in the room turned to me then. Because all of Blueblood’s squealing, or Giada’s big speech didn’t alert them, but I lose my cool once and they all stare at me like I’m a dragon in their court room.
I backed away from Giada and the stares of my family as their condemning looks washed over me. I could feel their disapproval and shock over my sudden shameful outburst. Even Princess Celestia seemed disheartened, and my father wouldn’t even look at me.
And then I could hear the whispering around me. The disapproving clucks and chuckles. The cruel jabs at me as if I were some garbage on the street, and not a young and fragile filly who would be their princess one day.
Breathing hard, I backed over to the banquet table where I could overhear their white hot brutal words, and I felt their dissent attack my heart as if I were being shot by arrows from every corner.
“This is our next princess.”
“She’s too emotional and sensitive. She won’t be able to handle government.”
“She’s in poor health. Did you hear she was very ill just last year? They almost lost her. Princess Celestia should appoint a stronger mare in better health.”
“I know its tradition to have alicorns rule because of their long life spans, but if she is so weak how does that make her any better suited to rule than any of us?”
That last belittlement had been from my maternal aunt Fiorelle, and was something my mother would have stood up to her sister for saying. But she wasn’t here. Nopony was there for me.
The voices surrounded me like monsters in my deepest nightmares, my breaths came fast and hard, thick and choking as the room suddenly grew too bright, and seemed to spin around me dizzyingly as I tried to back away further and further from these ponies who only wanted to hurt me. Who made my heart race in my chest as if I were ill again, and mocked me for that very illness.
And then Giada was standing in front of me. Her smug little expression every indication that she had heard the others’ hateful words, and knew I was wounded and suffering, and that she could easily finish me off as if I were an enemy to be defeated.
“My mother says that you brought scandal to the royal family with that humiliating article about you and your commoner coltfriend. You’re only getting away with it because you’re Celestia’s favourite for whatever reason,” She suddenly seemed genuinely hurt to be treated differently by our aunt just because I was born an alicorn, and seemed to merit special privileges. Even through my own pain I could feel hers too, and a small part of me, the weak part, the meeker side of me, ruled by my empathetic heart wanted to do something for her. Even as it was breaking inside me.
But then my vision and brain focused, and I remembered how I had been treated by her and all the others, and how she had been criticizing Shining Armor, and I told my stupid empathy to shut up, vehemently switching it off like a light switch as I had painstakingly trained myself to be able to do, just as the pony I was feeling sorry for a minute ago got right up in my face and smiled as if she enjoyed breaking my heart. And in some ways I suppose she did.
“You can’t have everything you want, princess. For us marriage isn’t about love. Its about continuing the royal bloodline so our culture can continue for generations. But then again you’re an alicorn, so you might not have to worry about that,”she paused before adding with a sinister smile, “But if you live forever, what are you going to do when your common unicorn husband dies and you’re left all alone?”
It was the last thing I could take from her. She had touched on my greatest fear. That which had me wake up screaming some nights until my throat was raw, and tears soaked my pillowcase and mother’s mane as she tried to comfort me long into the early morning.
The fear that I would be alone. All alone. My friends, my family, even Aunt Celestia if I succeeded her.... I couldn’t imagine living forever. Watching my family die, my real family...Shining Armor... I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I’d die a thousand deaths before I would. And my cousin was not going to make me face it.
“You shut up! You shut up!” I shouted, rearing up and spreading my wings as I furiously approached her. "You don't understand anything about me. You'll never understand what its like to be me, or feel what I feel. I'm not some immortal creature, and I'll never give up my love for anything. No matter what you or any pony says," my breaths and voice a fierce staccato I wanted to scream at her and attack her with my hooves, my much stronger magic, but I had already struck fear into those cold, dark eyes of hers by my height and strength behind my anger and hurt rising from the power of my deepest nightmare. She cowered in my winged shadow.
I turned to the other nobles who were undoubtedly watching me again now, and stood down, tucking my wings to my side, but still icily glared at them as I continued, "As for you all, I don't know what you've been expecting, but I am nothing like Princess Celestia, and I don't even want to be your next princess. So if you all hate me so much, why don't you take it up with her, because I just don't care anymore." I stopped, gazing over the surprised and crestfallen faces of those around me, my heart's heavy pounding slowing down, and seeming to crumble in my chest, as my eyes ached with painful unshed tears.
"I just don't care...." my voice shattered in my throat, and then I was running. Galloping away from them. Breaking through the banquet hall doors and into the halls, the stained glass windows blurring past me in my haste, and from the tears that flowed freely from my eyes.
I would not go back. I would not face them again. I hated them. I hated them. I hated them all. My aunts and cousins for their cruelty, my aunt Celestia for putting this burden on me, and my parents for forcing me into this world of pompous ponies, politics and prison. Where I couldn’t choose who I loved or even make a friend until I found my own freedom in Canterlot, but even that was being restricted. I couldn’t take this anymore, and I wished I could just disappear into the mountains and valleys around the capital city, or fly to the clouds where no unicorn could ever find me again. But then I would lose him too. I could never win.
“Cadenza!” I didn’t even lift my head when I heard my father shout my name. I had no strength to. No desire. My head was as heavy as stone, and I was wading through molasses. Nothing he said to me would make me go back. He could lock me up in my room for the rest of my days and I wouldn’t set a hoof back into that room, or face those vicious members of my family again. Giada. I’d never talk to her again. She was no longer my cousin, or family. She’d always tortured me, she’d always hurt me, but she had gone too far this time.
“You go back into that party and apologize for your behaviour right this instant.” I heard my father’s furious voice from somewhere far away.
“No.”
“What did you say?” he demanded, his large, gray form appearing in my vision where I stared stoically at the marble floor.
“I’m not going back.” I gritted my teeth as I spoke, ice seeming to crystalize in my veins.
"You apologize to our family now, Cadenza. This is not how a princess should behave." His voice seemed a little softer now, and if I weren't burning with anger and hurt I might have noticed the slight sympathy he was actually showing me for once, but I had long since stopped responding to the emotions in my heart for others, I only cared for my own selfish feelings of anguish and spite.
"I'm not a princess!" I screamed, finally raising my tear filled, fiery eyes to him, spreading my wings and finding satisfaction when he stepped away from me. If I could strike fear into him, into Giada, maybe I should abandon my meek personality and use my goddesses given strength and power to intimidate those who tried to hurt me. At least that would be one use for being an alicorn. Because I could see no other anymore.
"You are the heiress to Princess Celestia, the next princess of our land, and you will one day succeed your mother as princess of Istalia too. You have great responsibilities awaiting you and you must learn to accept them and become a great ruler. You cannot run away every time some nobles upset you. You have to be strong." My father sounded weary, strangely melancholy and more patient with me than he had ever been, but his words were still not what I wanted to hear, they were the same things my mother had always said to me, and I still hated to hear them. I hated my duties more than ever now.
"Don't you see?" I started, emotionally, my voice cracking. "I don't want to be a princess, I never wanted to be a princess. You all just forced it on me when I was born. Because I was born. I didn't ask to be born an alicorn, the only one of my kind besides Aunt Celestia, or even a princess of Istalia. Its all because you brought me into this horrible world of politics, parties and back stabbing, spying ponies who don't seem to understand what it is to be an equine and to have a heart." I stopped, gritting my teeth and shaking my head, my eyes squeezed shut against the tears before I continued.
"Its because mom was a princess before me. Because she wasn't here today, and she left me alone with those horrible ponies. She abandoned me. Its all her fault, and I hate her, I-" but I couldn't finish, because suddenly I felt the side of my face blossom into an explosion of pain, and I was knocked off my hooves by the force of my father's own connecting with my face.
I was too shocked to speak, in too much pain to formulate a thought as I stared up at the stallion I called my father towering over me, his eyes filled with fury, and he seemed to be shaking just as I was as I cowered on the ground. He had never struck me before. No pony had ever hit me. It hurt. It hurt almost as much as my emotional pain, and I felt nothing but betrayal from him and the entire world around me.
"Don't you ever, ever talk about your mother that way, you ungrateful spoiled child!" He roared, staring me down like a predator stalking his prey.
Putting my hoof to my cheek and trying desperately to stop the throbbing in my face, I shakily stood up and met eyes with him for just one minute, trying to project my overwhelming feelings of pain and betrayal to him.
"Cadenza there's something you don't know-" but I didn't give him the opportunity to finish, and spreading my wings, my one advantage over him and any other unicorn, I plunged into the air and through one of the balcony windows.
