To end the pain.

by NeonShadow

First published

Why do they pick on me? Why are my stupid wings so weak? Why can't I live anymore?

Why do they pick on me? Why are my stupid wings so weak? Why can't I fly like a normal pegasus? Why do I have to be different? I can't take it. I have to stop the pain. I have to stop the teasing. I'm sorry...... So, so sorry.

Follow Fluttershy through her mind as she tries to get through the pain in her life.

Special thanks to Jake the Dog for proofreading.

I'm sorry......I just can't.

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"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!"

My name is Fluttershy, or as most ponies call me, Klutzershy. I am a young Pegasus filly that is attending flight camp. I hate it here. My parents sent me here so I could make friends. I haven't made any. I only get teased by bullies because my wings are weak. Only one pony really notices me, and her name is Rainbow Dash. She stands up for me sometimes, but not all the time. Today we had a race, and I couldn't do it. I got teased for hours, ponies saying I shouldn't even be here. I don't want to be here. I want to go home and never see any of these ponies again. But I can't. I have to stay here. We get our own rooms, and that's about as much privacy I get. I usually cry myself to sleep, wanting any life but mine. I know that will never happen. Before I came here, I was homeschooled. My parents thought that I didn't have enough friends. I didn't want friends. I had my animals. I had overheard them talking one night.

"Fluttershy doesn't have enough friends." my dad had said.

"Honey, she doesn't have any friends besides animals."

"Well, maybe we can put her in flight camp."

"But she is very shy. I don't think she would make any friends."

"We don't have a choice."

"You're right. We'll tell her tomorrow, then send her next week."

I ran into my room and cried. I cried and cried and cried until all my tears were gone. I was so mad at my parents. They didn't even ask if I wanted to go. The only time I came out of my room was to eat. If they tried to come into my room I would climb out my window and run into the forest. At flight camp I don't have a forest or my animal friends. I'm alone. Nopony wants to befriend me. I don’t want to befriend them, either.

Am I just supposed to be teased and alone my whole life? Will my wings always be weak? I don't know if I can go on. The thoughts of suicide keep running through my head. But I don't wanna die. I want them to die. Make them pay for the suffering I deal with all day, everyday. I'm breaking. I'm depressed. I'm mad. I want this nightmare ponies call life, to end. Why can't it? I mean, nopony is holding me back. It would be quick. I need to sleep but I can't. I just cry till the sun rises and a whole new day in Hell begins.




Oh, yay. I'm now awake to get teased again. Today is the one of the many tests we have throughout flight camp. I don't want to go, but if I don't, I'll just get picked on the next day for not showing up. I remember the first day I was there. The first day I got bullied by the two who started my life in Hell.

It all started when I had to do a test to see where I am at in my flight progress. All the fillies and colts were watching. My heart was skipping beats and I was sweating profusely. I went to the first obstacle. It was a ring of cloud about five feet in the air. I had to fly up and through the ring. My wings have always been weak. I hate my wings. They're are the cause of all this. I wish I wasn't a pegasus, I wouldn't be so sad. I wouldn't want to be dead right now. Anyways, I couldn't make it over the ring and two fillies, I'm guessing they were best friends, started to sing a horrible tease.

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!" they chanted, over and over. Other fillies started to join. One after one joining in on the horrible tease, until every pony was singing it. I couldn't take it and ran. I ran so far but I could still hear the chanting in my mind. I cried and cried begging for it to stop. It teased me for what seemed like days. It's still stuck in my head. It comes back to my head every time I have to a test. I just want it to stop. I am one of the few blank flanks there. I get teased about that too. Oh look, here come my two tormentors.

"Hey, Klutzershy! What are you gonna fail at today?" said the leader of the two.

I didn't answer. I tried to ignore them, but they kept on poking me and blocking my path. So, I finally said,"P-please move..... I'm not looking for trouble...."

"Yeah? Well we are." said the leader, poking me in the chest. They backed me into a corner. I tried to leave but they blocked my path.

"If you don't want be around us, just fly away. Oh wait, you can't!" They both fell on the ground roaring with laughter. I had started to cry, but luckily, my mane was long enough to cover most of my face. The second colt got up and and asked me a question.

“You know, why are you here? Your flank is blank which means you don't have a special talent. You're stupid, ugly, and useless! You don't belong here!" That was the last straw. I finally snapped. I ran away as fast as I could. I jumped onto a cloud and carried it high into the sky. Past other clouds, as far as I could go. I can't deal with this anymore. Nopony would even miss me. It'll be quick. I reached down, grabbed a mouthful of feathers, and pulled. I didn't even feel the pain. All I felt was.....nothing. I felt empty, dead, and as high as I was, I wasn't cold.

I reached down again and grabbed another mouthful of feathers, ripping them from my stupid wings. I hate my wings. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be teased or picked on. My wings started to bleed profusely, but I didn't care. The blood leaked down my side and down my legs, coating the cloud in a dark crimson. I kept ripping my wings until only bone remained. My mouth and side and legs were all bloody, but I didn't care. Soon it would all be over. There were feathers all over the place. I was about to jump when I stopped. I let the breeze make my hair dance one more time. A single tear slid down my cheek and fell onto the cloud. I looked straight ahead, then I leaned forward, making myself fall. I closed my eyes as I waited for the ground to end my life. One last thought came to my mind before I hit the ground.

I'm......so so...sorry.