> Man's Best Friend
>  by Flutterpriest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Part 1: The Fight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm getting so goddamn tired of your shit Fluttershy," you yell at the yellow pegasus, who sits calmly on her couch. She probably talked to her friends all day to work up the courage to have this argument.

"What! I don't see what the big problem is Anon," she retorts, her voice firm. You stomp across the room and try to control your breathing as your voice is becoming more and more heated.

"What the big problem is?! What the big problem is?! You are telling me to just stop hanging with my friends. For no better reason than 'You're worried.' Reality check Flutter. You are always worried."

"Oh! So you just don't want me to miss you? What's wrong with my company? What's wrong with -my- friends?" she asks, her voice on the defensive and with acid on the tip of her words.

"There is nothing wrong with your friends!" you clarify. "I just need my -own- friends too. Guy friends. Guy time."

"Why?! You should be spending time with my friends instead. Like Rainbow Dash. At least they are positive influences!"

"Positive influences?! What does that even mean?! What's wrong with my friends?! They don't do anything wrong," you growl. You can't fucking believe this. Weren't these ponies supposed to be encouraging friendship?

"I've seen how they treat the mares in town, Anonymous. I'm not blind. They are terrible stallions and you know it. It's appalling that they-"

"Yeah. They make mistakes and I don't agree with what they do, but it doesn't mean that all of a sudden I'm going to get some wise idea to do it too!"

"How do I know that?" Fluttershy spits out. You stand with your back to her, but you freeze. 

Did she just...

You slowly turn to her, as she looks at you sternly, hooves folded and sitting on her couch. "You... think I would -cheat- on you?"

Her eyes shrink to the size of needles as she searches her mind for how to take back her words. "N-no. I just..." Fluttershy's hoof covers her mouth and looks to you with worry.

"What the hell do you think I am? Some sort of fucking animal?"

"Anon, that's not what I-"

"Do you even trust me? At all? What the hell, Fluttershy! I can't- I don't-" frustration vomits from your mouth and you run your hands through your hair. Your words are clenched in your throat as you feel like you could spit fire. The muscles in your shoulders tense up as your anger rises.

"Anon, please-"

"No!" you shout. "That's it. I can't fucking talk about this anymore." 

You walk to the front door and growl under your breath. If you say one more thing, it will be something you will regret. Fluttershy always has had her feelings easily hurt.

"W-where are you going?"

"Out."

"W-when will you be back?"

"I don't know."

"Anon, please..."

Ripping open the door, you turn to her. 

"I'll be back, and when I get back, we will talk through this calmly. Right now, I need to cool down."

The yellow pegasus leaps off her couch and flutters to you by the door, tears forming in her eyes. 

"Please don't go," Fluttershy begs. "I didn't mean-"

You turn and slam the door behind you.





Walking down the cobblestone path in the orange glow of the sunset does nothing for your reeling thoughts, and quickly mutes the quiet sobs from inside Fluttershy's cottage. She thinks you would just up and betray her. What the fuck? It's like she thinks you are some sex crazed animal that can't make your own decisions.

You've learned by now that if you don't take the time to calm down, she'll be sad for days. This is just the better way of doing things. You don't hate your relationship with Fluttershy. She just smothers you to death. You need to have some sort of freedom.

Hell, she gives her animals more freedom than you.

She's terrified of losing you. You get it. Yet there has to be a better way of doing this than having a curfew and having her know exactly what you are doing all the fucking time. It drives you out of your-

Kicking a stone violently down the path to Ponyville, you stop to take a deep breath.

Calm down Anon. You just have to build trust with her. Somehow. Help her face her fears. There has to be some way. If the two of you can't trust each other, this isn't going to work.

With a sigh, the very thought of breaking things off with Fluttershy makes your muscles ache. There has to be a better way. You don't want to lose this.

Ugh. You need a drink.

As you enter Ponyville, you look carefully for somewhere you can get your mind off of the argument. Equestria might as well be a dry country, because there is hardily anywhere to find a good drink outside of cider season. You've tried almost everywhere in town, except for the place you are going to try tonight. It's on the far edge of town, but it's not like you intend on coming home soon. 

Hell, maybe even tonight.

Alcohol and an angry mood is something you want to spare Fluttershy from. Maybe the bartender will listen to you. They are proven to be the most effective therapists in existence. Cheaper too.

The brisk fall wind nips at your skin and causes you to shiver. You probably should have brought a coat, but you're too angry to give a fuck. The quiet establishment looms on the horizon and you quicken your pace. Fucking wind. Fucking Fall. Fucking Fluttershy.

You pull the door open with too much force and it makes a loud thud when it reaches the limit of it's hinges. Stepping inside the bar, you scan the room for any possible third parties. It looks like there is some girl diamond dog at the bar, and a stallion in the corner, nursing a drink. Most importantly though, none of Fluttershy's friends.

You'll take it.

Quickly, you move to the bar and plant yourself on a stool. Rubbing your forehead, the barkeep approaches you with a light smile. He leans up on the counter and instantly knows what he's dealing with. You wonder if he thought to himself, "I gotta help this kid," or if he thought to himself, "It's going to be a long night." However, he opens his mouth to his ever practiced "What can I getcha champ?"

"Whatcha got?" you answer snottily.

"We have whiskey, bourbon, wine, some cider and wheats on tap."

"What would you drink?" you ask without even looking up. The barkeep sighs to himself. 

"Would you like rocks in your whiskey?"

"No and make it a double."

"Yessir," The stallion answers as he pulls a glass from his rack and reaches for a bottle of golden liquid from the top shelf of the bar. 

Looking back up, you try to take an interest in your surroundings and get your mind off things.

The bar could have probably won an award for 'Shady as fuck.' Not only are there hardily any clients, but it's complete with old, patched up chairs that have probably been here since it opened. An outdated and probably out of order jukebox sits the corner, covered in dust. A dark brown tile floor that has clearly has had it's own fair share of washings and while the bartender is by no means -old-, he's been around the block a few times. 

Glancing over your shoulder, you see the stallion sitting at the table alone, sipping his drink and looking meaningfully into it. You can only wonder what he's thinking right now. Is he hoping that at the bottom of his glass lies the answer to some problem that he so desperately needs to fix? Has something impacted his life in such a way that he wonders how he should move forward? While a part of you hates imagining what other people are thinking and feeling, you find it at least a little fun. What would his story be... The lone stallion sitting in the corner of the bar, alone...

You got it.

He just lost his wife in some sort of accident. So now he sits, alone at a table, nopony else in his life to fall back onto for support. You blink to yourself and shake your head.

That's morbid Anon. You really need to get yourself checked out by a real therapist. The barkeep places your whiskey double in front of you and you nod to him.

"Thanks, man."

"No problem," he answers, grabbing a glass and beginning to dry it carefully.

"Is this place usually this packed?" you ask with a touch of sarcasm.

"It picks up on the weekends... but it's usually pretty quiet. I know all of my usuals by name," he answers confidently, moving away from you to his other customers.

"Must be nice," you answer taking a sip of your drink.

The sharp, bitter liquid moves into your mouth and burns down your throat. Hardily what you would call a top shelf, but you're not going to complain. You've got much bigger issues on your hands.

How are you going to deal with Fluttershy when you get back? There is no way you can just ditch your friends. Sure, they are assholes. Sure, they may act like major dumbasses sometimes. But, they are your dumbasses. Nothing is going to change that.

Another sip of your drink and you exhale and look up at the bartender, who is talking with with the diamond dog at the end of the bar. Her smooth, flowing brown hair reaches down to her mid-back and she sits at the bar with her arms in front of her, quietly conversing with the barkeep.  Just cause you are taken, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the scenery, and damn that is one fine view. Her light blue turtleneck sweater covers the upper half of her torso and hugs in all the right places to grab a man's attention.

Or a diamond dog's, you suppose.

However, what stands out the most to you, is her light crimson eyes, which contrasts wildly with the rest of her outfit. It's nearly as if she wants her eyes to be noticed, begging the crowd to give her the attention she craves. That's when her's connect with your eyes. Instantly, you look back down to your drink. That's enough sight seeing for today.

You may be mad, but you aren't vengeful. At the end of the day, you love Fluttershy and that's all that matters. Taking another healthy sip of your drink, you ponder how the two of you met.

It was really quite simple. When you arrived in Ponyville, you really didn't remember who you were or what you were. Even where you were from was beyond any idea you had. Twilight Sparkle took you in, interested in this new life form that suddenly arrived in Equestria. The first few weeks were grueling, considering they didn't know if you were poisonous to the touch. 

Or if you would explode.

Or if you would erupt into a poisonous explosion.

But, eventually after you were deemed neither explosive nor poisonous, she introduced you to her friends. There was something about that little yellow ball of shyness that you couldn't shake out of your head. You wanted to bring her out of her shell and watch that tiny little smile curl on her face. Things were great for the most part.

Hell, are great still for the most part.

She just gets so... scared. Scared of the things she can't control. On one hand, who doesn't? On the other hand, scared to the point where it hurts others wasn't what you signed up for. With another healthy sip, you rub your temple with your hand. Maybe... the best thing to do right now is to just give in. Twilight and the others are easy enough to get along with... it wouldn't be so bad. On the other hand if you don't get some guy time here and there, you will probably need to be re-evaluated for explosive tendencies. You sigh and rub the back of your neck.

Anon, relationships are a matter of give and take. If you don't give once in a while, then you are taking advantage of her love. So... what have you given her in a while?

Well... love, but that doesn't really count. You do some chores for her... but you don't really bring in any rent. Not that you didn't want to, but rather she refused to accept it after you moved in with her. So instead you spent your money in other ways. Poker night, food, personal enjoyment. Maybe a flower here and there.

When you remember it.

With another sigh, you take a sip of your drink. You look back up to the bartender, who leaves the bar to check on the guy in the corner. Scanning your eyes back, you notice the diamond dog looking at you, with a slight smile. Removing your hand from your neck, you straighten up. You probably look like crap. She quietly gives you a little wave. A wave? What? You politely wave back. To be nice. Do you know her from somewhere? Shit Anon... think... Grocery store? Nope. Pinkie's parties? Nope.

What about... uhh...

Anon. You've only met ponies since you've been in Ponyville.

Oh. Okay. Thanks brain.

She smiles and stands up. Maybe she's leaving? Who knows? 

You look back down into your drink and take another sip. The drink goes down smoother than the other sips and you feel your muscles begin to loosen. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. You will have to figure out what the name of-

"Is this seat taken?" asks a shaky yet cool feminine tone.

Turning your head, you see the light crimson eyes looking into yours. "Uh. No. Go right ahead," You answer.

Crap.

She sits down and gives you a light smile. An awkward silence sits between you two as you look into your drink. Well, you waved at her. You kinda did this to yourself.

"I'm sorry for asking... um, but I've never seen a creature like you before in Equestria..."

Perfect. She has no idea who you are. 

Now you don't have to pretend like you know who she is.

"Oh it's fine. I get asked that all the time." Not anymore, but whatever. "I'm a human. I'm actually not technically from Equestria." She looks at you with pure fascination. "But, I'm sure you don't want to hear that story. It's long, convoluted and honestly kinda boring." 

The diamond dog shakes her head.

"I've got all the time in the world... that is, if you want to tell it." With a smile, you shake your head and down your drink.

"You know, I didn't get your name."

"It's Ruby... just Ruby."

"Well then Ruby, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Another sir?" the bartender asks, approaching you.

"Yeah! Sure," you answer, preparing yourself to tell your signature tale of how you got to where you are now.

"I'll have another wine as well," Ruby tells the bartender.

"No problem," he answers happily.

Interesting. Those two talk to each other as if they were friends. Oh well. It's story time.

"Alright. So there I was, just minding my own business on a planet called Earth, when..."





"So there I was, honor on the line. The only other human standing across from me in the field of battle. Princess Twilight staring down at me as judge for this battle of passion." After at least a solid hour, you build to your crescendo. Ruby sits on the edge of her seat and even the bartender has stopped to listen to your tale. "I lunge, I kick, I dodge and fight as hard as I can... but the guy is too strong for me. It all came down to one good hit and I had him pinned. He dared me to kill him. To end his life on the spot." The diamond dog puts a paw to her lips and shakes her head. "But, I didn't... I couldn't. It wasn't worth it. Twilight teleported him away, I went to the hospital and it's just been history ever since."

"Oh... wow," Ruby says. "What a hero..." 

The bartender smiles and goes back to drying glasses.

"It sure is quite the story, Anon." he adds.

"And what about you and the mare... Fluttershy? What happened?" Ruby asks. A clenching in your chest makes your gut turn over. Grabbing your third glass of a double shot of hard liquor, you take a hard sip.

"Uhm. Well..." You begin. "You see..."

Ruby places a paw on your arm. How in the world do you word this? You love Fluttershy. The tightness in your chest tells you that you will always love Fluttershy.

No matter what.

However, sometimes... she just makes you so... so...

"I suppose you could say that the grass wasn't quite as green as I thought,” you say firmly. Her paw rubs your arm in sympathy.

"That's terrible... and after everything you went through..."

"Yeah... I guess. Honestly, I just try my hardest not to think about it. You can't get bitter, you know?" you reply.

"Of course... of course." Ruby says assuredly.

Taking another sip, you make a wide stretch. Did you really just talk for that long? You're honestly surprised they aren't bored to tears. Quick, change the subject.

"Anyway. What's your story? I haven't seen a Diamond Dog in Ponyville before." The smile on Ruby's face quickly fades.

"Oh, um. Well, that's it's own long story... it isn't nearly as exciting as yours." You turn in your seat towards her, drink in hand.

"I love stories," you explain. "Try me." Ruby swirls the wine in her glass, staring into it.

"It's... not really a happy story."

"Only if you want to share it, of course."

The girl looks into her glass and contemplates. You take a sip of your drink and take a look at the clock. What time should you get out of here? What were you going to do after this anyway? You can't go back home drunk... Maybe one of your friends?

"I suppose... it's good for healing... if you share it. Right?" Ruby asks.

Healing? Your attention is refocused on the Diamond Dog.

"Yeah... You're right."

Ruby takes a deep breath and shakes her head.  She downs her drink and sighs. The bartender, who turned out to be named Cider, quickly refills it.

"Life never really was easy for me. My father had a serious gem problem, which was why Mom left and took me with her at a young age. Ever since then, we jumped from town to town, trying to find a place to settle down." Ruby rubs the back of her neck. "We did a lot of work, my mother did three jobs just so we could have enough to get by. It was hard, but we did our best. That seemed to work for awhile. Then one day she just... didn't come home."

A cold chill runs down your spine. "My God..." Ruby takes a sip of her wine and sets it back down.

"I went to an orphanage... and arguably things were great there. I made friends, went to school... arguably I was normal for the first time... Until Dad came and got me." You take a drink of your own remedy and feel it's warm numbing powers wash over you. "He took me home... and for the first few days he just, didn't say anything. At all. I went back to my old school, but my old friends wouldn't talk to me or anything, but I suppose that's getting sidetracked... isn't it?"

She looks up at you with the faintest glimmer of a smile, that gets quickly extinguished at the thought of continuing her story. You place a hand on her paw. "Hey... if it's too much, don't worry about it."

"No. It's fine," she sighs. "If I don't tell someone, then nobody will know." She sighs to herself and takes another sip. "When my Dad finally did talk, he said it was all my fault that Mom was missing. For a while I didn't believe him... but when you start hearing it every day for a long time, it begins to take hold. I kept going to school and went home every day to lock myself in my room."

Your ears are hanging on her every word, but the bartender continues about his business, as if he has heard this story more than once before. “I just lived my life day to day. I went to my room so I didn't have to see my Dad with his gems. One day I asked him to stop... but he just got mad and yelled at me. That was the first time he hit me." With a shudder, you take another healthy gulp.

You can hardily believe what you are hearing right now. How could something like this happen in this world? Equestria was supposed to be such a happy and peaceful place. Not... this.

"There reached a point where I couldn't take his abuse anymore... and I just ran away. I jumped from town to town, doing odd jobs... finding odds and ends to get by. I've been to Appleloosa, Canterlot, Manehattan, Tottingham... but I just can't find anywhere I can call home." She forces a smile and straightens up, turning to you. "So, I guess now I'm here in Ponyville. It's not a bad place really. Maybe a bit... happier than I'm used to."

You chuckle to yourself.

"Ain't that the truth. It took me months to get used to that." She turns to you, and a smile forms on her face, as she notices your hand hasn't left her paw yet. 

Not that you noticed.

That alcohol is really beginning to take a toll on you.

"You know... I think I could probably get used to it though..." With a nod, Cider refills your drink and you thank him. "That's all you can do. Move on and keep looking forward. No going back and no giving up." You turn to Ruby with a smile and you notice she has her glass raised to you. "To a fresh start and never looking back," she toasts.

"I'll drink to that," you answer cheerfully.

You raise your glass and the the two drinks makes a light chink sound when they collide.

"Cheers," the two of you say in unison





Then what happened next? What happened next?!

God damn it Anon, you have to remember.

You keep running the memory through your head over and over again, but your aching head and blinding light streaming through the windows prevents you from thinking much past that moment. That's all you remember. That's it. HOW CAN THAT BE IT?!

It doesn't explain why you are laying in a bed that isn't yours, naked next to Ruby and in a place that you don't recognize.

Her face is resting gently on your bare chest and her arms are wrapped around you tightly. What have you done?

You have to remember. All signs are pointing to that you slept with this girl, but there is no way that can happen. You try to regulate your breathing and try not to panic. There is no way that Fluttershy can ever find out about this. Your pounding head clouds your vision as you desperately try to think of a way to fix this situation. How did you get yourself into this mess? What are you going to do?
> Part 2: The Wait
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The beautiful blue sky hangs above you on this warm summer's day. Your red-checkered blanket sits peacefully on the grass of Ponyville Park as you lay side by side with your Anon. All you can do is smile to yourself. You are so lucky to have someone like him that you can love and cherish. Wrapping your arms around him, all you can do is live in this single moment and never let him go.

He's all yours. The perfect man. You knew you couldn't settle for a stallion... and after your father... Diamond dogs were out of the question.

Yet, for you, with your paws wrapped around this human, you can't help but feel some sense of attachment to this man. There was something about his eyes that made you courageous enough to brave the most violent storm. The way his gentle voice cooed words into your ears made you want to hear him whisper sweet nothings into your ears for days. Weeks. Months... A blush fills your cheeks as you think of the next word.

You look at his immaculately sculpted face and search for something to say. Something that can explain to him what he gives to you. It was more than a sense of safety that helped you sleep soundly. More than the feeling of not being alone anymore. There is something about-

Suddenly, you feel him pull against you.

What?

You open your eyes to the mid-summer's day and see Anon struggling in your arms. With two strong blinks, the world around you vanishes and you are back in your room, underneath your covers where Anon is stepping out of bed.

Oh... just a dream.

Thank goodness. 

All you can do is smile to yourself as you examine his chiseled marble body. Who would have thought you could have found someone that you just... connect with in such a dark place? Surely not you, but here you are. "Hey cutie," You groan out, your body still not fully ready to wake up.

Your body also isn't quite ready to move yet, after what he did to you last night. He lasted so long... You've never felt pleasure like that. How can someone like this be single?

"Uh. Hey," The beautiful man says as he stands up and grabs his pants.

"Come back to bed... I want you to hold me like-" 

Anon turns to you after zipping up his pants. "Uhm. Listen. I really got to go..." Anon says to you calmly. "I have... work and I don't want to be late." A pang of sadness rings through you, but you nod in understanding.

"Well, I understand... Work is important, but will you come back after that?"

Anon searches the floor and locates his shirt and slips it on. "I- Yeah. I will," He mutters, moving over to the mirror on your dresser. He examines his eyes in the mirror and grabs your brush, carefully combing his hair to a shape similar to last night. The place he works at must be nice if he has to look good. 

Ohmygoodness. If he has a good job, then that means the two of you could start a family. This is nearly your dream come true!

Keep it together Ruby.

Even after he said he loved you at the bar last night, you still have to wait for marriage. At least a month. Or maybe two weeks. "Well, uhm. What time do you get off? I can make dinner for us... if you'd like..."

Anon rubs his eyes and blinks hard. The way he holds his head looks like he might have a hangover. Hopefully his boss isn't too hard on him... You'd hate if anything you did got him in trouble. "I, uh. Six," He mutters.

Scooting over to the side of the bed, you feel the covers slowly slip off you, as you walk up behind him. Slowly, you move your paws around his torso and under his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin that covers his rock hard abs. Yet, he breaks away.

"I really gotta go or else I'm fucked." The terseness of his words takes you aback. It must be the hangover. Anon was so sweet last night.

"Oh... okay. Well, um. I'll see you at six then?"

"Yeah," Anon answers, turning away from you. Grabbing his hand, you pull him towards you and plant a large kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Anon," You say breathily. He bites his lip after the kiss is broken.

"I... love you too," He says.

Was that a hesitation?

...No, he's probably just tired or something. He -did- just wake up after all. After everything from last night, he must just be deep in thought. Maybe you two are moving too fast.

"See you tonight," You say to him as he steps to your bedroom door.

Anon turns back to you and looks directly into your eyes. "Yeah. See ya," He says.

He opens the door and closes it gently behind him, leaving you alone. With your heart warm and the prospect of finding your true love fresh in your mind, you twirl and dance through your morning routine. You wonder where he works...

He didn't really mention anything about his job. You wonder if he remembers last night as fondly as you did. The two of you talked about everything under the moon. He practically carried you home. Or maybe it was the other way around... the both of you were there for a while. 

What matters, was when you got back though. You bite your bottom lip just thinking about it. You'll never forget that. Never. And then the feeling of being in his arms as he held you so tightly. You giggle a little at the thought. It'll be great once he gets back. Six o' clock. You twirl through your home just at the thought of it. Time can't move fast enough.


~~~
 

It's seven now... Where is he? You look over the cold dinner table, which has a veritable feast of food. It's hard to get meat in Ponyville, but you were able to scrounge up two delicate steaks for just the occasion. Two, perfectly medium, cold steaks that sit on the plates solemnly, next to green beans and mashed potatoes and gravy.

You place your face in your hands at the table. Maybe he's just running late at work. Y-yeah! He's just running late. You can put his plate in the fridge. Grabbing your fork and knife, you look down into your plate of delicately prepared food. You spent hours working on this.

Letting out a deep sigh, you look back over the meal and frown. "It's not the same."

Setting down the fork and knife, you raise your eyes to the single lit candle sitting in the middle of the table. You can wait till he gets back. Rising from your seat, you put your face close to the candle and blow it out. You weren't really hungry anyway.


~~~
 

Your clock ticks by and you find it at 10pm. Where is Anon? He said that he would be back by now.

Moving into your room, you find your home has simply felt darker today. Maybe darker isn't the right word. Colder.

With a deep sigh, you tuck your paws underneath your shirt and gently lift off your clothing. As the day's garments crash to the floor, you sit on the cold bed, which you've slept in a countless number of nights throughout your moving throughout this land. However, tonight the old and worn sheets feel foreign to you. The bed feels too big, despite it just barely allows you to sleep in it snugly. The covers and pillows feel cool to the touch as you slip underneath them, with the gentle moonlight being the only source of light throughout the room.

Your arms stretch over to his side of the bed. Or at least... where he laid last night.

With your eyes closed, you imagine to yourself that at any moment your hands will collide with his warm, strong skin and he would pull you in closely. Yet, as your arms searched to the other side, they encounter nothing. Only the cold, empty space where he used to be.

Scooting yourself over, you bury your face into his pillow. Or at least... the one he used last night. Through the smell of lingering alcohol and sweat is just the faintest hint of sweetness. That sweetness that is familiar to you, as your face was pressed into his chest and his heart beat sang you gentle lullabies that only he could tell, and their melodies were simply indescribable by any words you've ever learned. The thought of being enveloped by his love puts a gentle smile on his face that you can't seem to wipe from your face.

He'll be back. He said so. He promised.

With a smile, you turn over in bed, your back to where he laid last night. If you close your eyes and imagine hard enough, you can still feel his arms around you. The way his fingers gently rest on your stomach... The way his warm breath stroked the back of your neck... You can almost hear that innocent melody, the soft lullaby. He'll be back.

He will.

He promised.


~~~
 

The beautiful blue sky hangs over you again, as you lay in his arms under that beautiful tree. The red-checkered blanket lies softly underneath you as you can hear his soft voice once again. 

"I love you, Ruby,” He says. “You mean the world to me.”

The warmth of his body fills your soul with content and a smile crawls across your face. You knew he would be back.

"Don't ever leave me again, my love," You whisper, bringing your face closer to his. Closing your eyes, you feel the soft caress of his lips on yours. His hand moves to the back of your head and you feel him press you into his kiss. The single moment hangs in time, leaving you in a state of perpetual bliss. He pulls away, gently, your eyes still closed.

"I never will,” He says calmly. A warmth spreads throughout your soul as every doubt leaves your mind. 

"I love you..." You say reflexively.

"I love you too, Ruby."

Slowly you open your eyes, as the sunlight fills your vision. All you see is an empty pillow, in an empty bed, where he used to lay. Suddenly, the world feels a lot colder, as you curl yourself into a ball. He's not back. He didn't come back during the night.

Wait!

You sit up in bed quickly. He might not have wanted to wake you. The couch!

Leaping out of bed, your feet quickly cross the floor of your room, into the hallway and into your living room. Which resides empty, with the exception of a red tie that he accidentally left here.
Is he going to come back? You release a sigh that seems to take with it any remaining hope you had left.

That's no way to think Ruby. He'll come back. You'll see. He loves you. You can't doubt him.

Your feet carry you to the couch, where you sit on the edge of an arm rest and take his tie.
Slowly you turn it over in your hands and examine it carefully. It's got a large stain of whiskey on the front and was one of the first things to come off when he came over. Carefully, you bring it to your sensitive nose and take a deep smell of the neck-end. That sweet smell of Anon fills your nostrils and you close your eyes, imagining him standing directly next to you. What you wouldn't do for him to be here right now...

Laying back on the couch, you hold the tie of your love in-between your breasts in a tight embrace. He has to come back. He has to.

You love him...


~~~
 

The day of work was grueling and unappreciative as per usual. The ponies didn't care that you were the nicest Diamond Dog they had ever met, or that you were the most experienced Gem Digger they had. It only helped that you were born to do these things. What they cared about was that you were different and that most dogs were vicious.

You sighed to yourself, feeling the same judgmental stare that has haunted you your entire life.
But today, none of that mattered. Today, you watched the clock with baited breath and anticipation, for when you can return home and see if your Anon returned. Your ears are perked up and at the ready, because at any moment, any second, the bell will chime, and all of the gem searchers are able to head home for the day.

The work is far less glamorous than you would like, but your kind was born to do this work. While it isn't what you wanted to do and you weren't happy doing it, there was no denying you were good at it. What only made things worse was that today you couldn't get your mind off of Anon. The vision of the dream still stood in your mind clearly and you could feel the press of his hand against your cheek.

Twice today you caught yourself smiling like an idiot, with your paw pressed to your cheek. You can't get caught slacking again. The first time was one day's pay. Who knows what could happen the next time...

Your paws dig through the dirt and gravel, occasionally pressing away from smaller stones. Farther and farther you push away the stones, trying to focus on something other than his soft. harmonious voice or the way his lips curled at the edges into some sort of smug smile that made you giggle. Stop it Ruby. Not at work.

Yet you can't help it. You bite your bottom lip at the thought of his muscular arms. That's when your paw hits something.

Your attention snaps back to the work in front of you, as you dig around something shiny. Something green. Gradually you uncover a large, delicate, uncut emerald in the dirt. Glancing over your shoulder, you find yourself alone in your own little area of the cave. Carefully, you pull the emerald from the earth and examine it. Normally, emeralds were considered to be a boring rock, and not quite as popular as the rubies, sapphires and diamonds. However, this one grabbed your attention and held it firmly.

The emerald radiated a green that made you feel calm and relaxed. It was the same color as Anon's eyes. With one more quick glance, you sneak the stone into your pocket. You should be able to clean it up and make it a great gift for Anon. He'll love it.

A loud screaming whistle roars in the distance, alerting you of the end of the day. With a gasp, you scramble out some of the gems from your digging pile and place them in your cart of the day's spoils. Unlocking the cart from it's breaks, you wheel the heavy cart up to the surface with strength you didn't realize you had. It didn't matter. All that mattered right now was getting back home to Anon.

He's going to be there. He has to be there. He promised.

The piercing daylight pushes into the tunnel as other ponies, each with their own cutie marks of gems, pickaxes or shoves follow behind you. The foreman, waiting outside, motions you to bring your cart over to the side, which you leave hastily. They can count the gems themselves.

Normally you're interested to see if you met your quota for the day. You always do. 

Yet, today you swiftly shed your gear and take off for home without even saying goodbye to your coworkers. It takes everything in your power to remain calm and run on two legs instead of four. You can't look desperate. What would he think if he saw you running home to him on four legs, nearly in tears from missing him so much.

You can't give off the wrong image, you think to yourself, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. That would just be silly. Your legs finally put you within viewing distance of your home and your heart overrides your conscious thought. On four legs, you sprint as fast as you can to your home and you hit the door in a matter of minutes. The door slams open as your heart is lifted up with hope.

"Anon?" You call into your own home.

You look into your kitchen, but nothing is there. Bounding into the living room, you find it empty. A sinking feeling begins to rest in the pit of your stomach. Maybe... he's asleep. Climbing the stairs two at a time, you find the bathroom door wide open, and empty inside. You move to the bedroom door, which is just barely open. Gently shaking in anticipation, you slowly push open the door.

All you find is your bed, with his side still carefully folded and made and your side untucked from this morning.

Oh...

Your muscles all relax and your gaze focuses on the floor. Well, he will be back. The tears that have welled in your eyes spill over as you sniff your nose. Your legs drag you to your bed, where you feel your will to stand on your own two paws has eroded to zero.

Collapsing to the bed, you bury your face into his pillow, trying to find that familiar sweetness that is beginning to be drowned out by salty tears. It's a great thing you live alone, so nobody else has to hear your roaring sobs and desperate whimpers.

Where is Anon?  Why isn't he coming back? Was it something you did wrong?


~~~
 

Maybe he just forgot where you live. The best thing to do would to be return to where the two of you met. The answer is so obvious! Silly Ruby, you should have thought of this sooner.

You follow the well-learned path to the bar where you met your Adonis. Surely he's been waiting for you there. You cling to your coat tightly to keep out the frigid air. Winter sure did sneak up on everyone this year. Who would have thought Hearth's Warming Eve would be in just a few weeks?

Your thoughts travel to a warm fireside where he keeps you warm in his arms under a warm blanket. A smile etches across your lips. Soon, Ruby. Once he remembers the way home, it will only be a matter of time.

A large gust of wind makes you hold yourself tighter together as you approach the bar. Jogging the last few feet, you push yourself in and breathe in a breath of fresh warm air. Fresh, relatively speaking to an old, worn down bar on the edge of town. You suppose once you drown out the smoky smell of old cigarettes, spilled alcohol and sweat that it could qualify as fresh.

The bar sits relatively empty tonight, the same lone stallion sitting in the corner, while Cider polished his glasses. He must love those glasses to death. Ponies hardily ever come to the bar, but here he is, cleaning them. Is it to get off the dust?

Shaking your head, you approach the bar and sit down. Instead of your usual spot at the end, you perch yourself happily on the same seat where you met him. He'll come back. He loves you. He told you he did. Anon wouldn't lie.

"Hey Cider,” You call to the bartender.

"A wine?"

"Of course," You answer happily.

"Sure thing," He answers with a hint of surprise. "You're awful chipper tonight. Any occasion?"

You smile and blush, slightly looking away. "Well... You know I met this guy."

Cider stops pouring and looks up at you, concerned. "Not that human? Is it?"

You giggle under your breath and a warmth flows through your body.

"Yeah... Anon," You answer airily, your mind drunk off of the image of his face.

"I... uh. I see. Well, you've certainly taken a liking to him." With a sigh, you remember the lines of his jaw and the way he laughed as he sat next to you, right here a few nights ago.

"Yeah... there's just... something about him."

"Well, I'm happy for ya girl. Honest." You sip your drink. He will be here. Any second now. "I really gotta wonder though... as long as I've worked here. Are you sure he had the same feelin-"

"Of course!" You bark at him, outraged.

How -dare- he doubt Anon. He loves you. He will be back... 

"I've just seen this a lot, Rubes. I just have this feeling..."

"If I keep trying. He will come back. You just wait and see."


~~~
 

"Still though...  This fourth time this week..."

"Well, I mean... I guess," You answer shakily. Where has he been? Where's Anon? Why hasn't he come back?

"You aren't looking too hot. I think this stress is beginning to get to you Ruby."

"Yeah... maybe you are right."

Cider sets down his work and leans on the bar. "When was the last time you ate something?"

You look down at the bar and try to recollect the last time you ate something. It hasn't been at the table, you haven't moved the candles since the one night. You had to throw out his meal after it went bad and it tainted most of the fridge.

"Uhm... A piece of toast? Yesterday?" A lie.

You look up at him and he looks at you with disbelief. A lie he saw through.

"Here." Cider leans down and grabs a small bowl. Inside of it is a very large amount of sunflower seeds. "I munch on em during work. Have some."

Disgusting. You hate sunflower seeds. 

You dip your entire paw into the bowl and shove them in your mouth. It must be the hunger talking, but for some reason these make your mouth water like you've never experienced. Every crunch and salty taste sets your tongue into a fury of delightful sensation. Sunflower seeds are the best thing ever. With your cheeks bulging with food, you look back up to the weary stallion, who stares at you in shock. You swallow your snack and blush.

"S-sorry."

"Naw, it's fine. Eat up. You need it more than I do. In fact, take them home with you," He says, pushing the bag towards you. Grabbing another fistful, you eat them a little more gently.

"Thanks."

"So.. tell me..."


~~~
 

"It's been almost three weeks... Are you sure he's really still looking for you?" You stare at the wooden bar, a simple glass of water today to quiet your grumbling stomach. Aches and pains make you aware to muscles you didn't know existed. He has to be coming... Where is he? Where is Anon?

"I-I... He has to be."

Cider gives you a concerned look. "Listen. I've held my tongue for a long time... I don't think he's coming back." You stay silent and study the grains of wood across the counter top.

"It's not doing good things to you, Ruby. You look like a mess. I can only wonder what it's doing to you outside of here..." With a sigh, you close your eyes. You haven't been meeting your quota lately. The manager has been lenient so far... But if it goes too long... "Listen. Ruby." His hooves push aside the glass of water and wraps around your paws. "You have to let him go." Tears begin to well in your eyes as you shake your head.

He loves you. Anon loves you. He makes everything feel right. 

"He isn't coming back." He's your sunshine. Your shining diamond. "I'm sorry..." You stop shaking your head and take a deep breath.

"Cider."

"Yeah?"

"I'm... really tired."

"I think you should go home and get some rest." Standing up from your stool, you take a few steps to the front door. You pull out your wallet from your purse to pay for the drinks you've had, but Cider stops you with a simple touch on the arm. "No," he says.

Turning to him, you shoot a look of confusion. 

"Don't worry about it. Just get some rest. I don't want to see you here tomorrow," he adds.

You nod and look to the dull and worn floor and then back to him. "Will you tell me if he comes back?" you ask weakly. He sighs and looks into your eyes. Your head turns back down. "Right."

Defeated, you drag yourself out of the bar late in the dark of night. Your tired muscles leave you feeling defeated. The light drizzle of fresh snowflakes swirling in the air leaves you feeling cold. In the darkened evening of Ponyville, where all of the lights are out and you head back to your home, where not a single light is on... You've never felt so alone.





Your eyes shoot open and your stomach curls inside of yourself. After futilely rocking back and forth in the hopes of calming your stomach, you rush to the bathroom and fall to your knees in front of the porcelain throne. It starts with your stomach churning, burning, then you feel the contents bubble like a volcano. Then, the bubbling moves upward and pushes itself forward.

You wish you had someone to hold your hair.

The contents of your stomach erupt into the water and tears form in your eyes. With a loud set of splashes, the bowl is stained orange and you groan, feeling another eruption shoot forth. Was it something you ate? Was it something you did wrong?

The digestion acid spills into the bowl as you whimper to yourself. The putrid smell fills the room as you close your eyes to get the disgust out of your sight. Your stomach finally feels empty, but that doesn't stop the volcano from it's final blast, sending one more torrent of filth into the toilet. A burning sensation fills your throat and suddenly you feel much better.

Yet, now, an overwhelming coldness overwhelms you. A sense of insecurity, a sense of loneliness. Your paw desperately reaches up to grab the lever, but doesn't seem to grasp it. Tears roll down your face as you kneel face to face with your own personal symbolism.

This is your life. Misery. Pain. Putrid. Just waiting for someone to finally flush it all away.

Your paw finds the lever and presses it down, flushing the vomit down the toilet.

Falling onto your side, the repressed sadness and doubt spills over and overwhelms your soul. He's not coming back. He didn't love you. He might as well not even be real. You begin to shake on the cold tile floor, face covered in throw-up, tears and snot as you let go of whatever hope you still had left for your love to return. There's nothing left. Nothing.

After an hour passes, you decide to scrape yourself off the floor and clean yourself off. You should probably call in a sick day after that episode. But, you can't lose a day's pay... What made you sick anyway? 

Turning on the running water of your tub, you prepare to wash your hair, which is now caked in stomach juices. It's not like you ate something bad. Except the sunflower seeds.

They just tasted so good. You can't seem to help it.

As the water hits a nice temperature, you dip your head underneath and feel the warm refreshing feeling wash over your skull. It's probably your just desserts, Ruby. You never eat sunflower seeds. Ever. Not that they don't agree with Diamond Dogs, you just really didn't like them. It was just something about the taste they left in your mouth. 

You reach for the shampoo and lather some into your hair. Why have you been eating them anyway? Turning off the water you dry your hair as you feel a grumble in your stomach. Well, you did just evacuate it. Something light should do the trick. Wrapping a towel around your hair, you head into your kitchen for a light breakfast.

Cereal? No.

Toast? No.

Your eyes scan your cabinets until they fall on a small bag. Sunflower seeds.

Every single ounce of your being now desires that bag of seeds.

Pulling the bag out of the cabinet, you absent mindedly throw some into your mouth. You stop, once you realize what you have done. Wait. You just got sick from eating these.

And you want more.

You hate sunflower seeds.

A cold chill runs up your spine as the bag slips from your grasp.





Positive.

The numbness that courses through your veins renders you paralyzed. You double check the stick just to be sure. This is the third one of the four pack of tests.

All of them have came out positive.

Words are unable to be formed in your mouth as you tremble in the small private bathroom of the drug store. Maybe it's a defective box of tests. Y-yeah. It has to be. T-there's no way...

The tears well up in your eyes as you know the truth that's stabbed in the back of your spine.

You have pups. Pups from Anon. And he's gone.

Who's going to protect them? How are you going to do this without Anon? The overwhelming silence only provides your broken soul one single answer. You have to keep trying. For your pups. You have to go back. You have to find Anon.





"Happy Hearth's Warming Eve Ruby," Cider says, placing a glass of water in front of you.

"Thanks Cider," you answer quietly. "Happy Hearth's Warming Eve to you too." Cider pulls around the counter and sits on a barstool next to you, with his own drink. Probably something from his private collection.

"So, any luck on the search?"

"Nothing... No birth records. No employment records... It's like he just... appeared, one day in Equestria."

Cider takes a sip of his drink and sighs. "I just wish there was something I could do to help you Ruby..."

You gently smile and shake your head. "Listening to me and helping me through this is more than enough," you answer. He's really been there for you throughout this whole mess. Lending an ear, a smile or even his own advice. "I don't know what I would do without you, Cider."

He smiles and gently rubs your back. "That's what friends are for."

Friends. Heh.

The idea brings a smile to your face. You barely know anything about Cider. He just listens to you talk about your problems. Sure, he genuinely cares... it seems like... However, friendship is a two way street.

"So... who are you spending Hearth's Warming Eve with?"you ask.

"Well. I told my wife I would be a little late getting home." you look at him, curiously. "I knew you wouldn't notice the closed sign on the door and I think you needed to not spend tonight alone."

A smile curls on your face as you sip your water. "Does she..." you hover on the next word.

"Yes. The whole story. It was her idea that I make sure that you have someone to talk to."

You shake your head with a light smile. "Make sure you get her something nice."

"Already ahead of you." 

You chuckle to yourself. "Do you have a family?" you ask quietly.

"Wha? You mean kids?" you lightly nod in answer of his question. "Nah. We thought we really wouldn't be good parents, so we decided not to... It was a hard decision..."

You examine your glass as you turn it in circles. The very same thought has been dwelling on your mind. Can you do this alone? Will you be a good mother? It's not like you can use your parents as an example... You don't even know where to begin. 

"I'm sure you would be different though."

The drop of water from his faucet overwhelms you like a tidal wave. "R-really?"

"Yeah," he says calmly.

"Why?"

Cider sets his drink down and looks over it carefully, choosing his words before he decides what to say. "There are some ponies in this town that I've met that should never be a parent and they become one anyway. Sometimes they end up giving away the kid, or don't pay them enough attention, or worse, abandon them." He takes a light sip of his amber colored liquid before continuing. "However, some just have this spark in their eye. You just know that if they have a child, they would protect them, nourish them, teach them right from wrong and do it just right. Not just spoil them to death."

He turns to you and looks up. "I see that spark in you. My wife and I are almost never home... we would just mess it up, but you... I have faith you would know what to do."

Shaking your head, you sigh. "I dunno."

"You can do it. I have faith in you."

"That makes one of us," you say sorrowfully.

Cider sighs and downs the rest of his drink, stretching out his back on the barstool. "Listen. Things are going to get better. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You've got some of the hardest decisions of your life coming... and as long as you make sure you are doing what you want, I believe in you."

You bury your face in your paws and sigh. "I hope so."

Cider moves back around the bar and grabs the pitcher of water to refill your glass.

"Actually," you answer him. "I think I'm done."

He looks up at you, confused. "Already?"

"I shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. You have your wife, and-"

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. I... I think it's time to move on."

He sets down the pitcher of water, with a hint of a smile. "Are you sure?"

Your mind races at your words. Think through it logically Ruby. Put your heart aside. What matters, is inside you right now. What matters, is being the best mother you can possibly be. You can do this. Looking up to Cider, you let out a deep breath and attempt what little confidence you have left.

"I can do this."

Cider smiles and nods. "I know you can."

He comes around the bar and you step off your barstool. You wrap your paws around him and pull him closely to you in a tight hug. "Thanks for everything Cider."

"I didn't do a thing, sweetheart," he says with a smile.

"Do you want me to still visit?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing a friend stop by. Unless it gets too busy."

You chuckle and release him from the hug. "Happy Hearth's Warming Eve."

"Same to you Ruby."

Taking firm footsteps to the door of the bar, you step outside into the gently falling snow. Looking back at the open sign, you find that it, in fact, was turned to close. Shaking your head with a smile, you turn and head towards home. You take your time, admiring the beautiful sight of Ponyville in winter. The coat you wore was warm, although a bit snug, all things considered. This is it.

You've finally broke through. The invisible walls around you now seem to never have existed at all. All that matters now is one thing. Turning a corner, you decide to take the scenic route back home. Yourself and your child. You can do this.

You can do this.

The warm sound of carolers greets your ears as you stroll closer to central park. You know this song. The humming melody is entrancing, as you find your feet dragging you closer to the source of the singing. There is something to it. Something liberating and jolly in the harmony.

An essence that everything is going to be okay.

As you enter the center of Ponyville, you find a small crowd gathered in the center. On a platform stands six ponies, all singing in various parts, accompanied- 

Your eyes grow wide and your jaw drops. The purse you carried falls to the ground and digs into the snow. Every muscle in your body becomes numb as the frightful chill of the air sets into your bones.

There he is.

Standing on the platform next to a yellow pony. He holds her with one arm and she wraps her wing around him. They are smiling and looking at each other with so much...

The flash of the gentle smile runs through your mind. The way he held you in his arms burns in your muscles. Tears form in your eyes. No...

Your eyes move to scrutinize the pegasus. Just who is she? How dare she take Anon from you. The clenching pit in your stomach burns inside and tries to bubble to the surface. You take a few steps forward, your paws clenched and ready to strike. Then, you stop.

What's the point?

Your paws unclench, as you look at the smile on their faces. The song ends and the crowd claps loudly for the six singing ponies. Anon and the yellow pegasus exchange loving glances and you get to see that beautiful smile of his. 

He's happy.

Why would you take that from him? His eyes move from the pegasus to the crowd as he looks over his audience. That's when his gaze locks directly with yours.

For a moment, the world freezes. The only things that exist in the gently falling snow is you and Anon. A smile crawls on your face, matching his. But his eyes grow wide and his demeanor of pride and joy shifts into a look of worry and disgust.

No. Shame.

He knows exactly who you are. The other ponies leave the stage and the yellow one tugs on his side, saying something to him that is deaf from your ears. Quickly he turns his head... and walks off stage.
> Part 3: The Reunion
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Your numbed body stands weakly as he disappears with his yellow mare. The snow that gently falls around you melts in the trails of salty tears that run down your face. He's gone. He doesn't want you. He never really did. It was all just some... big lie.

You collapse to your knees in the snow and gaze down at the bed of frozen crystals that coat the ground. The freezing cold sends stings through your body that would make anyone else stand up immediately, but you don't see the point. 

What is the point? You loved him and he didn't love you. You were loyal to him... but he wasn't even loyal to the one he really loves. Closing your eyes, you wonder if there is any way, any possible way, that you could have him again. To claim that wonderful smile for you and you alone. You could confront him... but what would he do? Deny it all? Call you a liar?

While you want to believe that he would take you back and help you raise the child that you are carrying, the other part of you has to be realistic. He avoided you for almost a month. You tried so hard to find him... and found almost nothing. Yet here you are, almost feet away from him, and you can't bring yourself to confront him.

Your paw moves to your belly, and you feel the gentle bump beginning to form. Are you really ready for this? Your body trembles, knowing the critical question that lies before you. Can you really do this all on your own? Knowing that you were betrayed? Can you love a child, despite never really knowing what love feels like?

Your mind reels with the thought of Anon.

You attempt to get to your feet. Moving to your bag, which sits in the snow a few feet away, you pick it up, letting your feet begin to guide you. You don't know where they are going to take you, but as long as it's anywhere but here. As long as it's far away from Anon. It's not healthy for you to think of him this much. It's not healthy that you love him this much. Unconditionally, at that.

The curse of being a close relative to the household dog.

All you want is for Anon to be happy, but how could you do that? The only thing that comes to your mind is to stay away. But how can you do that? How can you stay away from someone you love so much? Your mind carefully considers many options as you walk through the streets of Ponyville on Hearth's Warming Eve. Out of the corner of your downtrodden eyes, you watch as families walk through the town, happily caroling or taking presents to friends and relatives.

You know when you go home, nobody will be there for you. Nobody will visit you. All that's left is the warm embrace of the covers of your bed, which have long since lost the alluring smell of your lover. Your bag feels like a sack of bricks in your arms as your eyes trace the road under your feet. Until finally, you stop.

Looking up, you gain a full view of the building you've stopped in front of. The Ponyville General Health center. A nervous lump forms in your throat. Cider's words echo through your mind. "Nah. We thought we really wouldn't be good parents, so we decided not to."

Another tear runs down your cheek as your place a paw to your stomach. Can you really be a good mother? Could you really take care of a little one all by yourself? You can barely take care of yourself as it is.

Your breath stutters and you shiver in the cold, as you close your eyes and move to the door. The door opens easily, inviting you inside to an atmosphere of warm acceptance.

"Hi there! Happy Hearth's warming Eve!" Says the mare behind the counter. You turn your attention to the kind mare with a white coat and long pink hair, wrapped in a bun. "How can I help you?" She asks in a warm, comforting tone.

"I... uhm. I'm pregnant.... and I don't know what to do anymore." You tell the mare, trying to keep your breath regulated and voice calm. The mare nods her head and pulls out a few pieces of paper.

"I understand sweetie. Don't be scared. Everything will be okay, I'll have a nurse be right with you."

"O-okay." You stutter and sit down in the waiting area.

You cover your eyes with your paws and draw long, shallow breaths. What are you doing Ruby? Is this what you really want? Sure, you won't have the baby anymore... but what will that make you? You still can't take care of yourself. It's not going to make you feel happier. All it does is fix a few of your many problems.

The sound of four hooves, patting across carpet moves by you and sits next to you. A different cool, feminine voice speaks up and places a hoof on your back. "Everything okay, sweetheart?"

"I-I don't know what I'm doing anymore." You say to the nameless mare. "I-I thought he was the one... and..." Your composure begins to slip as the self-depreciating thoughts begin again.

"Shhh..." The mare comforts you, rubbing her hoof on your back. "It's okay... Everypony makes mistakes... That's why we are here to help."

You shake your head. "It's more than that though... I've just... I've been so sad... for so long. A-and I never really had anyone to fall on before... a-and I thought..."

You cut yourself off before you say anything else. What did you think? That someone could come into your life and magically make things all better? That you would finally have someone who would love and comfort you? At that moment... the emotions stopped. Time seemed to stop.

That was the moment that you lost all hope.

You knew you were about to take away the life that was blooming inside of you and all you could think about was yourself. At first you thought there was simply no kindness in this world. That there was nobody in this world that looked out for others, but the answer hit you like a ton of bricks.

You were the unkind one.

You were the one that put your only love's relationship in possible jeopardy. 

You were the one who only looked out for themselves.

You were the selfish one.

"I-I shouldn't be here." You said lifelessly

"I know sweetie... the first time is always the hardest..." The mare assured you. You removed the paws from your eyes, grabbed your bag, and stood up.

There was only one option left. The one to finally put all your problems to rest. 

Without another word, you walked out, the mare calling to you and asking what you were doing. However, their words fell on deaf ears as your trance held you firmly in it's loving arms. You passed by the hardware store earlier. The should still be open, selling some wreaths and last minute gifts. All you need is some rope. Then it will all be over.

Your feet carry you to the building, as your goal remained firmly planted in your mind. This was it. The only way to remove the unkindness from the world that left your life so scarred and broken. You always wondered why bad things always seemed to happen to you, but not to others. It was because you were the bad thing to happen.

That's what the schooldogs told you. That you didn't belong.

That's what your father told you. That you were an accident.

That's what he's made you. A mistake.

The tears stream down your frozen cheeks as you step into the store, not paying any attention to your surroundings. Your eyes are focused and resolute. Instantly, you walk down the isle and stop in front of the rope. Reaching down, you pick up a 25ft strand of rope from a hook. "Capable of holding over 200lbs of weight." That should do the job. All you need is a knot tying manual.

"Uhm... Excuse me?" A quiet feminine voice asks beside you.

You hear her words, but their meaning evades you. Instead you simply focus on the fate in your hands. This is how it all ends.

"Excuse me... Miss?" The feminine voice asks again. "Are you okay? I saw you crying... and I wanted to see if you were okay."

You look down at your warm green sweater, dotted with snowflakes and tear drops. Using a paw, you wipe your wet cheeks and shake your head.

"I-I'm... I'm fine." You shakily sputter out.

"You don't seem fine..." The voice persists. "And I'd feel a lot better if you put the rope back... unless you tell me what it's for."

You turn to view your visitor and a new freezing cold fills your soul. A yellow pegasus stands before you, with long pink hair and three butterflies as her cutie mark.  Her eyes are filled with concern and you get the feeling she isn't going to simply walk away if you tell her to. This mare seems to give off an air of genuine concern. You recognize who she is. She was standing next to Anon up on the stage. This mare is the one that he holds every night. This mare is the one that gets to look into his delicate green eyes and perfect smile.

Yet, the mare seems to have some element to her that you haven't felt before. Something about her that feels new and unique. As if, this pony is the very embodiment of love and care. Of kindness.

Do you tell her? Do you come clean and expose yourself? Do you tell her that you are full of her boyfriend's child? You stand frozen, staring at her.

"Uhm... My n-name is Fluttershy." She stutters out. "I-I was with my husband outside and saw you crying... so I had to see if you were okay."

You look down at your rope, then back to the mare. Voices scream at you in your head. 'Get out of here.'

'Tell her.'

'You will destroy her if you tell her.'

'Just go home and end your suffering.'

The yellow mare shifts on her hooves and moves a step closer, shyly. "I-I don't think you are... I may be bad at knowing if someone is lying... but I can tell something is really wrong." She says in an attempt to assert herself. A few stray tears trickle from your eyes as you open your mouth to speak. 

"I'm... all alone... and I'm just... so sad." You try to say without losing your composure. Fluttershy takes a few steps closer to you and gently pulls the rope from your hands, and sets it back on the shelf.

"Don't you have anyone to spend Hearth's Warming Eve with?" She asks warmly. You shake your head. "Not even family?" She asks curiously. Your breath releases and you shake your head.

Fluttershy looks up and down your trembling form and smiles. It's as if the answer was obvious to her and that she knew all along why she followed you. "Then you should spend it with me." She says with a smile.  A cold shiver runs down your spine. "My husband and I always have too much food for ourselves and normally have a quiet evening alone... but I can't bear to imagine you having to spend it all by yourself." She happily offers. "Won't you join us?"

You shift on your feet and study the mare with the piercing feeling in your throat.

"I-I dunno if that's a good idea..." You answer.

Her innocent eyes look up at you with curiosity. "Why's that?" Fluttershy asks you.

A million reasons flood through your head. The image of you with your body wrapped around her husband flashes in your head. Your stomach clenches as guilt begins to eat you alive from the inside.

"I-I... I just..." Your mouth struggles with the right words.

You should tell her. She deserves to know. Fluttershy reaches for your paw.

"Please?" She asks gently. "I don't want you to have to feel so alone."

Those were the words that drove the final nail in the coffin. Tears welled in your eyes and you closed them, submitting yourself to your fate. She has to be told. Someone you've never even met has shown you the most kindness you've experienced in your entire life.

Anon has to know about the baby inside you. They both deserve to know.

"Anon is at home right now, I told him to wait there because I was bringing home a surprise. Do you mind if we stop to pick up a cake my friend made?" She asks, pulling on your paw and leading you out of the store.

"That's fine." You answer hollowly.

You feel tired. Tired of feeling alone. Tired of carrying this secret from the world. Tired of being depressed. Yet, most of all, tired of feeling so tired. It's time for everything to change.

The yellow pegasus pulls you through the silent streets of Ponyville as the gently falling snow paints a picture in your head that you will never forget. Being led by the paw by someone who is caring for you unconditionally, leading you away from the light and into her home. She doesn't even know how much you've hurt her. 

You wonder if you told her sorry now or before you see him again, if it would change the outcome. If you gave her some sort of preemptive warning, that maybe it won't hurt her so bad. Why would Anon do this to you? Why would he put you in this position? Why would he put her in this position?

You stay quiet as you follow Anon's wife through Ponyville, unsure if you should stay quiet, or blurt out everything. Meanwhile, she relays to you all of the different foods she has prepared for a delightful dinner this evening and apologizes that she would have made a gift for you if she knew she would have a guest. All you can do is just follow her in a dazed trance.

Your heart is clenched at the thought of seeing him again. Your mind races for the right way to tell him. The two of you step inside Sugarcube Corner, a well-kept bakery that you've never been in before, and the scent of fresh baked cookies fill your nose.

It gives you flashbacks to your birthday as a pup, when your mom would make her special, homemade, gooey chocolate chip cookies. If there was one thing that Diamond Dog evolution did do right, it was make chocolate non-poisonous to your kind. You were able to have one after dinner as your present and you couldn't have asked for anything more. Every little treat was cooked with love and care.

The store is mostly void of customers due to the holiday, but a pink pony stands behind the counter who enthusiastically waves to Fluttershy. You walk in a haze to the glass case and look over the delicately crafted treats. There were scones, muffins, cake, brownies, zebra bites, donuts and so many other baked goods that you neither had heard of before or could pronounce, but your eyes were set on a small row, front and center for the little fillies and colts to see.

Standing proudly was a small row of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Their homey smell filled the room and all you could do was stare at them. It's not very often that you wanted to see someone from your past, but in that moment, you would have done anything to just get a hug from your Mom.

"So what's with the Diamond Dog, Shy?" Pinkie asks in a hushed whisper.

"I'm not sure... but she looked so sad Pinkie. I couldn't just leave her out in the cold. Plus she has nobody to spend Hearth's Warming Eve with." Fluttershy answers.

"That's so sweet of you." Pinkie answers with a smile. "Hey! Miss! What's your name?!" She calls out to you. You turn to the overzealous curly haired pony, snapping out of your daze.

"Uhm. Ruby. My name is Ruby." You answer, trying to add strength to your voice. You didn't do a very good job convincing yourself. The mare walks down the counter towards you and gives you a wide smile.

"What would you like? It's on the house. Everypony deserves a gift on Hearth's Warming Eve!" She says happily.

"N-no. It's fine." You stutter out. "I don't need anything, really."

"No! I insist! Any friend of Fluttershy's is a friend of mine. Anything you want is on the house." Pinkie assures you with a wink.

You look back down at the case. Why are these mares so insistent? How can they be so... kindhearted? You pause, knowing there is no real way out of this situation.

"Uhm. A cookie?" You ask weakly.

Pinkie leaps down to the row of cookies and her voice speeds to a near blur. "Well we have Snicker-doodle, Peanut Butter, Lemon, Sugar, Lemon Sugar, White Chocolate Nut, Nutty Nut, Monster, OOH- My favorite the Dragon! RAAWR!" Pinkie lists off, as if she rehearsed it in the mirror every morning for practice.

"Um. Just a chocolate chip... would be nice." You answer.

A certain warmth fills your chest as you remember your Mom pulling the hot tray out of the oven and setting the fresh baked treats to cool.

"Really?!" Pinkie asks in shock. "Ookay! Normally everypony wants something a little more... I dunno... special, but here you go."

You remember your mother setting a white plate on the table, with a fresh treat on the table and a tall glass of milk. Pinkie Pie dishes one onto one of the typical white porcelain plates and hands the plate to you from across the case. Taking the plate, you remember your mother planting a firm kiss on the top of your head and telling you how much she loved you.  And that she was proud of you. A tear runs down your cheek.

Pinkie looks from you to Fluttershy, wondering why such a simple gesture has left you so speechless. Taking the treat in your paw, you bring the warm treat to your lips. You can taste the love baked in with every little morsel.

It tastes just like you remember.

Carefully, you savor every single bite, as if it were the last cookie you would ever have the chance of enjoying. After you finish, you place the plate back on the counter to the expectant face of the party mare.

"It was great... Thanks Miss..."

"Pinkie Pie! But everypony just calls me Pinkie." She says happily. "I can't believe I haven't seen you around here before! I thought I knew everypony in Ponyville. Where do you live?" Pinkie asks.

"Sorry Pinkie, but we probably shouldn't keep Nonny waiting." Fluttershy interjects as you look at the pink mare.

"Oh! Right." Pinkie nods. "I need to close the shop too! It's nice meeting you, Ruby. Ohmygosh! We NEED to throw you a party!" She exclaims. You open your mouth to speak, but you find yourself being escorted out by the yellow pegasus. "Bye Bye, Fluttershy! Bye Bye, Ruby!" She calls as the bell to Sugarcube corner jingles.

"Bye, Pinkie!" Fluttershy responds.

"Thank you..." You mutter under your breath.

The cold air brushes your cold fur as you follow Fluttershy on a path she knows dearly. The two of you begin to leave the town limits and nervousness settles into your stomach. You are going to see him. After such a long time, you will finally see him. 

Fluttershy holds her closed cake box in her saddle bag as you follow her closer and closer to the Everfree Forest. They don't live in the woods... do they? That would explain why you had such a hard time finding them. They didn't live in the town.

A gentle snow covered cottage begins to materialize into existence as the two of you approach a small bridge over a frozen stream.

"Here we are! Home sweet home." Fluttershy exclaims.

"Wow." You mutter to yourself. This is where he lives.

"I know it's not much, but I've lived here for such a long time... and it keeps me close to my animals. I'm like a mother to them." Fluttershy smiles. The word 'mother' grabs your attention and you turn your head to her.

"Do you have a little one of your own?" You ask. You weren't sure if you really wanted to know the answer, but something in your heart compelled you to ask. Fluttershy smiles and looks up to you.

"Not yet, but... well you will see tonight." She giggles. Your stomach drops. She's pregnant too. She has to be. Your eyes look down to the door as Fluttershy pulls out her key.

"Fluttershy. Thank you... for everything, but I don't know if-"

"Nonsense!" The element of kindness insists, "There's no way I'm going to let you be all alone on Hearth's Warming Eve."

Fluttershy places the key inside of the lock and turns the lock slowly. A shiver runs through your veins. You feel like vomiting. The door opens slowly and the yellow pegasus steps inside the warm, lit cottage from the cold, darkening outside air.

"I'm home! I brought you a surprise, honey!" Fluttershy calls to the house. "I brought a guest too!"

That's when she turned to you and urged you inside. Taking a step onto the wooden floorboards, you closed the door tight behind you. This is it. Now or never.

Tonight's the night the situation is laid to rest.

That's when you heard his voice. The tender warm voice that only hours ago you were willing to wish away as imaginary.

"A surprise? What could it possibly be?" He says as he walks down the stairs of the cottage.

Your eyes remain transfixed on the door and you turn slowly to the source of his enchanting melody. Then, there he is, standing on the stairs, a white button down shirt and black dress slacks covering his masculine figure.

"Anon, this is Ruby. I just met her a little bit ago and invited her to our Hearth's Warming Eve dinner." Fluttershy says to Anon. Anon stares at you, dumbfounded, as if he suddenly tasted pickles in his chocolate ice cream. "Ruby, this is Anon, my husband." Fluttershy says, completing her introduction with a smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anon." You say to him.

> Part 4: The Confession
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	He stares at you in pure disbelief. You stare right back at him, but a whole wave of emotions washes over you. A growl rests in the pit of your throat, wanting to scream at him.

How dare he? How dare he?!

On the other hand, a sickening sense of joy rests in the pit of your stomach. You finally found him. After all this time, you'll finally get to talk to him again. He will be able to find out about the baby. 

Yet at the same time, nervousness overwhelms you. He doesn't want you here. You shouldn't be here. Maybe it's not too late to back out. At least you would be able to say you saw him one last time.

"I can get your coat, Ruby. That is, if you would like," Fluttershy says to you with the same smile she's worn since the hardware store. You look down at the yellow pegasus who just invited you into her home. She has to know.

"Yeah, sure," you say, slipping off your coat and handing it to her with your bag. "Thanks."

"It's no problem at all," Fluttershy replies happily. "Now then, let me get dinner in the oven and we can all have the chance to get to know each other a little better. Doesn't that sound nice?"

The yellow pegasus smiles and flutters into the kitchen with your coat and her saddlebag without giving you the chance to reply. Well, it looks like you are staying here for while. You couldn't afford to lose your coat. It's way too cold out.

Your attention moves from Fluttershy back to Anon. Anon's eyes haven't moved from you since you walked into his home. His muscles remain rigid and tense while the color drained from his face.

"My wife invited you?" he asks shakily. The words cut deep in your heart like a knife.

“It seems so," you reply. Anon looks from you to the kitchen and then to the stairs he stands on, as if looking for some sort of escape. Slowly, as if resigned to his fate, he descends the stairs to the living room.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. She has the habit of being extremely kind to everyone she tends to meet. That is, if she can push past her shyness," Anon explains in a tired tone. His emerald eyes attempt to focus themselves anywhere else in the room but you.

"I see..." you answer, remaining in the same place as when you walked through the door. Your eyes travel to the floor, his coldness confirming your concern of being unwanted. He walks toward the kitchen door, to leave you alone in the room. You have to do this, Ruby. Taking a few steps forward, you lower your voice. "Listen, I think we need to talk," you say to him.

"No. No we don't," Anon says menacingly, finally turning to you. His eyes glare down at you, almost threateningly. You stop in your tracks and feel your stomach drop.

He looks behind him to the kitchen, where Fluttershy hums happily while preparing dinner. Anon drops his voice to just above a whisper, but keeps force in his tone.

"Listen. That night, never happened. Do you understand?" he says.

You look back at him as if you were seeing him for the first time. The memory of his smile was crushed under the weight of forceful demands. His eyes weren't tender or loving like you remembered. They were disgusted and regretful. Guilt forms in the pit of your stomach and makes you lose whatever little appetite you did have. Anon looks back once more to the kitchen, then returns his gaze back to you. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs.

"I just... She can never know," he says in a softer tone. The force in his eyes begins to diminish into concern. How much has he been thinking about this? Has guilt been eating at him? He turns away from you and takes a few steps away, taking deep breaths, then turns back and fumbles with his hands, looking for something to say.

How could he have kept a secret from her for this long? The very idea makes you sick to your stomach.

"Look. We can talk. Just... not right now. Please. Not tonight," Anon asks, his voice soft and desperate. You straighten up a little more, feeling a little less off guard. His eyes beg you not to say a single word. He folds his hands and holds them up to you. "Please," he begs.

Your chest clenches for just a moment. In that single moment, you considered wiping the slate away and forgiving everything. Pass it off as nothing. Move on.

However, the sweet melody of Fluttershy's singing fills the cottage and snaps you out of the moment. She has to know about his infidelity. He has to know about your child. Most importantly, you have to do it for yourself.

"I can't promise that," you say to him sternly.

"Anon, could I get your help in here for a second?" Fluttershy asks. 

Taking a step backward, he replies to the kitchen in his calmest voice. "Yeah, sure." He then turns to the kitchen and heads to his wife. Slowly, you follow him towards the kitchen and stand in the doorway.

"What can I help with?" Anon asks Fluttershy.

"Oh! Well, I was wondering if you would break open the surprise I brought home. It's a dessert, but I think we should cut it now," Fluttershy says, her attention focused on a large pot that she places vegetables in.

"Yeah, sure. Where is it?" he asks.

"It's over in my saddlebag."

"Alright. Cool," he says strolling to the bag.

When he reaches the bag, he kneels down and pulls out a closed white box and places it on the kitchen table. Opening a nearby drawer, you watch him pull out a cutting knife and return to the box. He slices open the stickers on the box. 
"Is this one of Pinkie's cakes?" he asks curiously as Fluttershy slowly turns to watch him with a wide smile.

"Mhmm," Fluttershy says. Setting down the knife, Anon slowly opens the box and stares at it. He straightens up while staring at the cake, still sitting resolutely in the box.

"It's a girl?" he says aloud. "What does that..." Anon turns to his wife, who beams up at him with a wide smile. 

You watch Fluttershy carefully, watching what normal ponies get to do when they reveal they were pregnant. She looks so happy. So innocent.

"Does this mean that... you're..." Anon says, a smile curling on his face. Fluttershy nods her head and joyous tears well in her eyes. 

"Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Anon," Fluttershy says joyfully.

"Oh my god," Anon says with a chuckle. "Oh my God!"  He crosses the room to his wife and lifts her up into the air, holding her closely to him. "This is what we wanted," Anon says to her. "Oh my God... How far along are you?"

"A few months... I wanted it to be a special surprise..." Fluttershy says meekly. "I was worried you would get mad for not telling you sooner..."

Anon smiles and looks deep into Fluttershy's eyes. Your chest sinks as you watch the two of them. Turning back to the living room, you leave the two to their moment. 

With a sigh, you pace the room, looking over the decorations that Fluttershy must have put up. Hanging on the wall was a picture of her, Anon, Pinkie from the bakery, and four other ponies that you don't recognize. They all seemed to be smiling widely on the warm summer day when the picture was taken. Right beside it, was a picture of Anonymous in a suit while Fluttershy stood next to him, wearing the widest smile you've ever seen on a mare and wearing a bridal veil.

Your eyes study the picture carefully. The frame seemed to be in impeccable condition and had hardily any dust on it. Down in the corner of the photograph, was the date of their anniversary. It turns out it was only earlier this year.

'Good for them', you think to yourself with a sense of emptiness. Frowning, you place a paw on your belly, where the life Anon placed inside of you incubates. They are so happy. This was supposed to be a night of celebration for them. Yet, here you are, about to tell them something that will change everything.

Then, a new thought strikes you viciously. Is this going to ruin their marriage?

You turn to the kitchen, where you can only hear silence. A tightness forms in your chest. You can't worry about them. You have to worry about yourself. If they are meant to be, they can work it out.

They need to know that you are pregnant. You take a deep breath and let it out slowly. At the very least, you can try to break it to them gently. As gentle as you can, anyway. No matter when you tell them, it's going to have the same outcome. Standing up straight, you look directly forward for the first time today.

Putting one foot in front of the other, you return to the kitchen doorframe. Anon holds Fluttershy tightly in his arms as they share their tender moment.

"Uhm. Excuse me..." you utter softly, trying to find the right words.

However, as soon as the words escape your mouth, you aren't sure what to say next. Anon and Fluttershy's attention shifts to you and suddenly you feel as if a spotlight was shining on you. This is it, Ruby. Just get it out. You open your mouth and it hangs open as your eyes shift between the two. Get it over with. Quick and painless.

"Uhm..." you stutter out. "I just- I just wanted to say congratulations." You give them a weak smile and mentally kick yourself. Fluttershy smiles and nods while Anon seems to snap back to an air of discomfort.

"Thank you, dear," Fluttershy says. "Let me just put this in the oven and we can all chat in the living room."

"Alright," you say awkwardly. "Uhm. I'll just- wait out here then. Sorry."

You turn back to the living room on one foot and walk away feeling defeated. What was that? You completely chickened out. Come on, Ruby. You can do better than that. With a sigh, you try to shake off the building nerves. It's going to be fine. The night isn't over yet. Plus, it would probably be better for them to be sitting anyway.

You take a deep breath and sit on one of two couches, separated by a coffee table between the two and close to a warm fire. Sitting down, you focus your attention to the dancing yellow-red blaze which warms the room. There's something comforting about watching the way the wood burns into bright neon-orange embers in the fireplace. 

Watching the fire was something you've always done ever since you were a pup. Whenever it was too cold out and the heater started acting up again, Dad would start a fire in the fireplace. It was too cold to go play outside, so you would play with the shadows on the wall that your paws would make. You would raise a paw to the fire and feel it's warmth on your soft, tender pads. 

A smile curls on your face, remembering a time when things seemed so much simpler. Winter was usually your favorite time of year. Not because of the cold. Cold was nothing short of the worst thing possible. The kids at school would throw snowballs at you when you were little just to hear how loud you would squeal. A shiver runs down your spine just thinking about it.

No, instead it was because of all the warm things associated with the cold. Blankets, warm drinks, a warm fire. Being snuggled closely by a loved one as snow slowly falls outside. A warmth spreads through your chest at the thought, but you try your best to shake the thought from your mind before you can dwell on it for too long.

There was only one thing worse than the cold during the winter. Winter was always the time of year when you would see your Mom the least. Now that you are older you understand why. She took a second job just so that your family could buy Hearth's Warming presents for each other. Even if it wasn't anything special. Yet, even with the extra job, she would always be home on Hearth's Warming Day to wake you up early and spend the day together with her.

Your smile grows wider as you study the flickering flames. Those were the days. The easier times.

The sound of flapping wings jar you from your reverie and you turn to see Fluttershy fluttering into the room with a tray of mugs.

"I'm sorry. That was probably a little bit awkward for you, wasn't it?" Fluttershy says apologetically. "I've just been waiting for so long to tell him and I was so excited I just couldn't bear to wait another minute."

"Oh, it's no problem, really," you say in your most convincing tone possible. "Congratulations again. I'm sure the two of you are very happy." Fluttershy nods contentedly.

"We have been trying for awhile and doctors were skeptical anything would happen... but here we are," the pegasus says happily.

'Skeptical anything would happen.' The phrase rings clear in your mind as you place a paw on your belly.

"Do the two of you have a name picked out?" you ask.

A part of you is just trying to keep the conversation flowing as naturally as possible, but on the other hand a part of you doesn't want to hear any of the answers. The more you get to know this happy couple, the more guilt rises in your chest knowing the bomb you will have to drop on them.

"We've thought of some... I really like the name Ivy... but Anon isn't sure," she answers. "I suppose we will just have to keep thinking, especially now that we know her gender."

"Ivy seems nice," you reply. "It's very pretty." Fluttershy smiles and nods.

"So, dear, tell me about yourself," Fluttershy says with a smile, reaching over her tray of mugs and handing one to you.

Grasping the warm tea, you look down at the liquid, seeing your reflection. Your face is a complete mess. Dark circles hang under your crimson eyes and your brown fur is frazzled. Your long golden-brown hair is filled with knots from a lack of brushing and your ears aren't their usual perky selves. In fact, when was the last time you looked in a mirror? A part of you couldn't bare to look at yourself lately. With a blink, you try not to focus on it.

This is who you are. There is nothing you can do but accept it. You bring the tea to your lips and feel it's healing warmth spread through your body.

"Where should I begin?" you ask.

Fluttershy looks up into the air, as if thinking of a question as the human stands at the door way of the kitchen. Out of the corner of your eye, you glance at him as you sip your tea. His muscles are tensed and he seems to be debating with himself. Placing your eyes back on his wife, you place the tea back on the table. A part of you can't blame him. He's terrified of what you could say. Or, rather, what you will say before you leave tonight.

"Well, let's start at the beginning. I haven't seen you around town very much... are you new here? It's not very often that my friend Pinkie Pie doesn't know somepony," Fluttershy asks curiously.

"Well, no. I live on the other side of town... and I travel to the mines outside of town every day for work. I'm a jewel miner," you reply. Fluttershy nods and listens intently to every word as Anon slowly makes his way into the living room.

"I see. Well that makes sense," Fluttershy replies. "We can't meet you if we don't see you." The yellow pegasus smiles widely as she attempts to make you feel more welcome. The guilt grows in your chest as you mimic one for her. This is going to be harder than you thought.

"How did you decide to come to Ponyville then and not somewhere else?" she asks. "It's not very often that we see a Diamond Dog here."

"Oh, um. Well, that's it's own long story..." you slowly rehearse. You've said that line so often...

"I love stories," Fluttershy says. "Why don't you try me?"

That's when it hits you. The sense of deja vu. You look up to Fluttershy and Anon moves to sit next to her. 

"Hon, don't make her share it if she doesn't want to," Anon says to his wife.

Looking to Anon, he doesn't even cast you another glance as he grabs a mug of tea and sits on the sofa with his legs crossed.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry," Fluttershy says quickly. "I shouldn't have-"

"No! It's fine. Really," you reply to her. "Besides, I don't want to put a damper on your great news. It's not a very happy story anyway."

Ruby, what are you doing? You have to just get it over with. The longer you draw it out, the harder it's going to be.

"Well then, let's think about happy things," Fluttershy says. "Maybe we should all take turns thinking of something we feel thankful for. How does that sound?"

Fluttershy's voice has a warm, motherly tone to it as she tries to console the poor pup she found on the street. In reality, she's just making you feel more and more uneasy. You have to tell her.

"Why don't you start, Anon?" Fluttershy says to her husband. Anon sips his tea and leans forward, trying to think of something without making eye contact with you.

"Uh. Our health. Everyone's healthy and safe," Anon says.

"That's a nice one," Fluttershy says. "I'm thankful that on a cold, frigid evening like tonight, I'm able to spend it surrounded by others that I care for." Fluttershy then sets her sights back on you.

"What about you Ruby? What are you thankful for?"

The question almost catches you off guard. What are you thankful for? You grab the tea in front of you and bring it to your lips as you try to buy some time to think of a proper answer. Looking between the two of them, you feel the spotlight on you once again. You sigh to yourself and only one thing sits on your mind. This is it.

Slow and steady, Ruby.

"Just about an hour or two ago... I nearly made a very terrible mistake," you begin to say. "I was overwhelmed by the pressure in my life and I thought about doing a few things that I might regret. One of them was something that I wouldn't be able to undo." The tea in your glass reflects the sorry image of yourself back at you. Yet, in your heart, you try to pull the shambles of yourself together. "But, I met somepony that talked to me and made me think about what I was doing. A part of me realize that if I did what I was going to do... it wouldn't be just me that I would be hurting."

Fluttershy looks at you with curiosity. Anon's eyes slowly drift to you.

"So, I suppose I'm thankful that I just have someone to talk to tonight," you say, your eyes returning to the yellow pegasus. "You saved two lives today, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy smiles, but her look of concern doesn't fade.

"Two lives?" she asks innocently. "Does that mean..."

A sword feels as if it digs into the center of your throat. You feel your body become numb as you hold the tea in your hands. A chill runs through the air as the words sit on the edge of your tongue.
A silence fills the air.

"I'm pregnant," you say softly.

The air feels as it sits still. Your eyes instantly move to Anon, who sits frozen in his seat.

"You're pregnant?!" Fluttershy says happily. "Oh, how exciting! How far along are you? Is it a girl or a boy? Ooh! What about the father?" Then, Fluttershy's excitement stops before she could go any further. "But wait, you said you didn't have anyone you could go back to tonight..." the pegasus says, adding the pieces together in her head.

"Yeah," you say somberly, eyes returning to the tea.

"Does that mean..." 

"He's... hard to get in touch with," you say to her.

The words ring loudly in your head. He's Anon. Anon is the father.

"Oh... I see. I'm sorry, Ruby. That's just awful," she replies empatheticly. "Well, uhm, have you seen the doctor or anything?" You sip your drink again to try and feel some warmth in your soul.

"Well, no. I can't really afford it. I'm just scraping by as it is right now," you reply somberly. "I'll be lucky if I can make it there when the baby comes."

Come on girl, just say it. The father is Anon. The words burn at the edge of your tongue, but you can't seem to choke out the words. You look up to Anon, who's expression hasn't changed.
He remains dead still as you sip your tea. A piercing silence fills the room. 

"I'll take you," Fluttershy says, breaking the tension.

You nearly choke on your drink.

"What?" you say.

"I'll take you to the doctor when I have checkups. I know Nurse Redheart at the hospital, thanks to the flying accidents of another friend of mine. I'm sure we can try to pull some strings," she says confidently. You look up to her as sincere determination and resolution fills her soul. Your heart stops for half a second.

"Hon, Are you-"

"I'm absolutely sure, Anon," Fluttershy says, interrupting her husband. "It's the least I can do for our new friend. I was worried I couldn't get you something for Hearth's Warming Eve and now I found it. There is no 'buts' or another word about it. I will help Ruby with her doctor's appointments and that's final."

You lean forward and set the mug on the table. This isn't what you expected. You can't let this happen. It's now or never.

"Um, I don't want to be a bother. I mean, it's still going to cost a lot of money-"

"You don't need to worry about a thing," Fluttershy says. "I'll handle everything." Anon rises from his seat and walks away, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Shy," Anon says flatly.

"Why not?" Fluttershy asks, confusion filling her voice. "You heard her, Anon. This is the right thing to do."

Anon takes a few steps away and looks back to you. Your eyes connect and your mind screams it at him. You are the father. Yet, you don't need to say any words. His face shows that he already knows. Grief fills his face as he turns away and whispers under his breath.

"Anon?" Fluttershy asks.

Anon's voice rises. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit," he repeats over and over.

"Anon... what's-" Anon turns back to his wife and looks at her, his fingers intermingled with his hair and despair coated on his face. "Wrong?" Fluttershy finishes quietly, concern filling her voice.

"I can't do it anymore," Anon says quietly. 

He looks down to his feet, as if his will was suddenly shattered. Anon moves slowly back to the couch and sits down. You set your cup of tea back on the table, your fur raised like needles. A part of you wants to run as fast as you can, but you can't seem to move your legs. You just watch Anon and Fluttershy. He sits down on the couch as the visibly worried wife watches her husband. Anon's gaze focuses directly on her as he draws shallow breaths.

"Shy... I'm so sorry. I-I messed up," he sputters out.

Fluttershy's eyes grow wide as she sits in place on the sofa. Anon's gaze doesn't avert from the floor as shame fills every vein in his body. 

"That night, when we fought and I didn't come back home..." The yellow pegasus remains as still as a statue as her eyes are laser focused on Anon. "I went to the bar. I got drunk... a-and," Anon chokes out. His demeanor waivers on the edge of breaking as he breathes carefully. "I met Ruby there..."

Fluttershy sits straight, her mouth slightly opened as she looks from her husband, to you, then back to her husband.

"When I woke up... I didn't know where I was. I just knew that-"

"Stop," she says quietly, her body trembling.

Anon looks up to her, while she slightly shakes her head. She looks directly to you, then back to Anon.

"I knew it," Fluttershy whispers. "I knew you didn't go to one of your friend's homes. I knew it was a lie. I just knew it."

Anon scoots closer to her on the couch. You feel as if you were two inches tall as Anon reaches out a hand to his wife's hoof. He places it on her hoof and she jerks the hoof away from him.

"Shy... please-"

"Don't call me Shy, Anonymous," Fluttershy snaps back, tears in her eyes. "You don't get to call me that anymore."

She rises from the couch and blinks out a stream of salty tears. Her legs carry her to the kitchen and out of your sight. You sit on the couch with your hands folded and a new wave of guilt overwhelming you. It's probably better that Anon said it and not you. Looking to Anon, he turns to look at you, then opens his mouth as if to say something. 

Nothing emanates from his lips.

Shaking his head, he rises from the couch towards the kitchen. Leaving you alone in their living room. The hair on your neck stands on edge as you rise from your seat. You probably aren't welcome here. At least, not anymore.

Looking around, you remember Fluttershy took your coat to a chair in the kitchen. You have to enter that minefield. Taking shaky steps, you walk slowly to the kitchen doorframe. Anon stands as still as a statue, just a few feet from the entrance to the kitchen.

Then you stop.

Looking to the left, is your exit. Straight ahead, you can get your coat and bag back. Outside of the windows, you can see the snow outside beginning to pick up.

You take a step closer to the kitchen.

"Fluttershy... please," you hear Anon whisper as he takes a step closer into the kitchen.

The numbness and guilt hits you again. Maybe, you've done enough damage already. If you go back in there, you might just be a painful reminder for Fluttershy. She's such a kind soul.

With a sigh, you turn to the door and place your paw on the handle. She doesn't deserve that.

"I'm sorry, Fluttershy," you whisper under your breath.

Pulling the door open, you step outside and cling your arms close to you for warmth. Things are replaceable. At least, you can know you did the right thing. What felt like the right thing. Pushing forward in the falling snow, you make your way towards home.





The door to the cottage closes as you numbly watch your wife. She sits at the table, staring at the pink cake in front of her.

"Fluttershy... can't we talk about this?" you ask her desperately.

Fluttershy doesn't answer, but simply stares at her gift to you.

"What is there to talk about?" she answers hollowly.

The words cut you like a knife. What have you done? You've destroyed everything. One mistake, one argument. One night of poor judgment. You've never seen Fluttershy like this before.

"Isn't there... some way we can work this out?" you ask pleadingly. "I'm so sorry."

Fluttershy doesn't even avert her gaze.

"Do you know why, on that night, I talked to you about that?" she asks you flatly. You stand still, watching the cold indifference of your wife. The normally loving, caring, always smiling wife sits before you, broken and betrayed. Because of you. 

"I found out the news that day... and you just spent the last few nights being out with your friends," she says. "I was scared that, if I told you, you would decide you weren't ready for a little one after all."  She looks down to her hooves. "I was hoping you would talk to me and we could have a serious talk about raising a little pony of our own, but you got mad. We yelled at each other... and then you just left. I stayed up all night, waiting for you. Then when I wake up on the couch, here you are. Just back. We didn't say a single word about it, but it haunted me every night. Finally when I asked... you lied to me."

She closes her mouth, her hair draped over the side of her face, muffling the sniffles.

"Fluttershy..." you say, unsure what you want to say, but feeling the need to break the silence with something. Anything. Every moment of silence felt as if you were being burned alive."I-I'm so sorry," you say to her.

Fluttershy refuses to look at you.

"I know," she answers coldly.

Shivers run down your spine.

"I love you..." you say to her, trying to move closer to her. She remains silent. Every step you take, you feel as if you aren't getting any closer to her, although her body draws nearer. "We can make this work... I swear," you say, as you feel as if a knife pierces your chest.

Fluttershy finally looks at you, with tears running down her face and wide eyes filled with pain. Pain that you caused.

"How?" she asks weakly. You open your mouth to say something, but your words fail you. "How can I even begin to trust you after this? After all of this?!" She screams, her voice cracking and her sobs breaking through. "You refuse to talk to me about something important. Lie to me and then... sleep with..."

Her words fail her as her body trembles. The sobs and tears break through as she collapses into herself, tears dropping onto the floor. You close the distance to your crying wife and try to place a hand on her back. She pushes you away with her two small hooves.

Although ponies don't have even close to the amount of strength to move a human, she pushes you away with ease.

Numbness overcomes your body as step backwards from her.

"JUST GO!" she yells at you with tears in her eyes. "GET OUT OF MY HOME!"

She stares you down angrily, as if she would an animal.

The eyes that would cradle you from bad days at work, are now filled with hurt and distrust. Taking a step back, you open your mouth again. 

"I'm..."

What was the point?

It was over. You ruined it.

There wasn't a single thing you could do now to win her back. You destroyed your marriage, trying to keep a terrible secret away from her. 

Yet, would it be salvageable if you were honest with her?

"Just get out... Leave me alone..." Fluttershy orders you.

Taking another step back, you turn towards the entrance to the cottage. You suppose you may never truly know the answer to that. Ruby's coat sits on a hook beside the way into the kitchen, along with her bag.

Ruby.

You've been terrible to her as well. Guilt overwhelms you as you look back to your wife. Her wings are outstretched and she seems to be doing her best to act strong.

You know her well enough to know she's just trying to hide the pain inside. Looking back to the floor, you sigh to yourself. It's all gone.

Taking labored steps, you pass by the coat. Then, you stop.

Raising your head, you take a deep breath. Grabbing the coat and bag, you head to the front door and out into the cold winter air. Maybe there is still a chance you can do one last good thing tonight.
> Part 5: The End of Heartache
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The cold wind rushes against your ears as your trudge your way through the rapidly deteriorating winter weather. Placing your paws in the armpits of the sweater, you squint your eyes to avoid the oncoming assault of snowflakes. With the buildings off in the distance shrouded by the snow, it wasn't the chill of the air or the flakes that were accumulating on the shoulders of your clothes that made you feel cold. It was the look of hurt inside the eyes of Anon's wife that haunted you.

What would she do now? How could Anon be so heartless to her? Could the two of them be able to work through Anon's infidelity? Fluttershy has a baby just like you. How could she raise it all on her own? For that matter, how are you going to do it on your own?

You sigh and push yourself through the icy air as the snow accumulates in your hair. Pupsitters are expensive and you wouldn't be able to find time off work. At least, not more than whatever they would give you for maternity leave. A strong wind blows hard against you and blows sheets of frozen snow into the air. A thin icy mask forms on your face as you near the buildings of the town. 

You grit your teeth and push forward through the weather. Shivering, you remember Anon's desperation as he tried to plead with his wife. He was so worried and in so much pain at the thought of his wife finding out about everything. Anon knew that when Fluttershy found out, nothing would be the same anymore. Yet, that didn't stop you from coming to break the news to them.

You've ruined everything. Again.

The wind rages against you, forcing you to pause and hide your face from the blustery wind. That seems to be all you are good for anymore. Ruining things.

You ruined your father's life. You ruined your family's life. You ruined Anon's marriage.

Pushing forward, the wind pushes you off guard and you lose your balance. For a split second, the world shifts into slow motion. You fall face forward into the snow, but quickly twist your body to avoid falling on your stomach. The side of your head strikes a patch of ice forcing you to let out an  involuntary yelp. Tears form in your eyes as the snow falls on you.

Nothing will ever be the same. That was the perfect way of describing it. But in a sense, nothing had changed. You lie in the cold snow, just outside of Ponyville. If only someone were there for you, to help you through this, then maybe it wouldn't be so hard. Maybe someone to tell you what to do or how to persevere. 

Yet, nobody is there. Nobody was ever there.

The rushing wind chills you to the bone as you watch the flickering lights from the buildings ahead of you. The world is a cold place. The world is a dark place. What was the point anymore? The cold snow covers you like a blanket, tucking you into a soft sleep.

You're so tired. Your bones hurt. Your heart hurts. What's the point of going through the same painful, meaningless existence day after day? What's left for you? Just as you are about to shut your eyes, that's when you feel the warmth in your stomach. The warmth that pressures you to push on.

You can't afford to think like that, Ruby. Sure, the world has been cruel to you. Sure, things have been hard. In the end, it's all going to be how you react to it. You pushed yourself away from the cruelty. You foraged yourself a new life. 

Opening your eyes, you look out at the blizzard that tries to hold you down. But, as the world around you grows cold, one thing remains the same. Deep down inside you, there is a warmth. A warmth that grows inside you. A warmth that will become new life. A life that counts on you. So how are you going to handle it, Ruby? Are you going to stand up and push forward? Are you going to try and make the best of the hand you've been given? Or are you going to lie here in the cold snow and cry like a little bitch?

Placing a paw on the ground, you push yourself up to your knees. This is your life. Your life gives your child life. Nothing else matters.

Rising up on your own two feet, you clench your paws and push forward through the wind. Sometimes you just have to do what's best for you. One step at a time, you enter Ponyville. As you enter the street of buildings, the tall buildings cut off some of the harshness of the wind. You can do this. 

Today, you are a mother. It's not just about doing what's best for you anymore. You have to do what's best for your pup. Which means you cannot give up. Not here. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

You probably won't ever be able to interact with Anonymous or Fluttershy ever again, but that's okay. They have their lives to live and you have yours. What is most important is keeping yourself and your pup alive. Not how Anonymous could be so horrible to you and Fluttershy and not how they are able to save their marriage. They have to deal with that on their own.

You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself anymore. You can't waste a single moment of your precious time worrying about something you can't control. Pushing past the town square, you push through the weather as if it were a beautiful summer day. The only thing you can do now is make your life the best it can possibly be. Not just yours, but for your pup.

Then, for the first time in months, a smile curls on your face. None of them matter anymore. It's just you and your pup now. No more Anon. No more guilt looming over your head. You won't have to spend another sleepless night wondering if he's going to come back for you, because it doesn't matter.

It's not a matter of if you can, or if you can't.

You have to.

It's going to be hard, but your mother did it for you. If your mother could do it for you, you can do it for your pup. And if you can be even half the mother that yours was to you, then you will be a great mother. Pushing forward, a new feeling washes over you as you make the last turn to your home.

A feeling of weightlessness and joy. It was as if a massive weight that you carried your whole life was suddenly lifted at that very moment. A feeling of freedom that made you stand straighter and realize that no matter how hard it gets, it's going to be okay.

Your new yellow friend gave you more than just the ability to keep on living tonight. She gave you the ability to live again.

"Hey!" you hear called from behind you though the screaming wind. It was faint, but you could just barely hear it. Turning around, you see the tall stature of a man running through the snow.

Stifling an angry groan, you turn forward and push towards home. Of course it would be him. You just need to get inside. The spare key should be under the mat. Maybe you can get in and lock it before he catches up.

"Hey! Ruby!" Anon calls out to you in the storm.

You quicken your pace, pushing through the storm to get home. Your muscles burn as you try persevere through the icy weather. Anon is the last person you wanted to see. You don't need him. All he has ever done is made your heart and soul hurt. What could he possibly do for you now?

You close the distance to your home, leaving a boot print path straight to your doorway. Reaching under your mat, you grab your spare key and quickly shove it into your door. Unlocking the door, you swing it open and step inside. As you turn to close it, you see Anon jogging through the weather holding your coat and bag. Anger swells in your chest and you grit your teeth. A fire burns in your eyes, seeing the one person who has caused you so much pain over the last few months. His eyes lock with yours and he bee-lines for you.

"Ruby, wait!" he calls to you.

You cannot let this human into your life again. Your paw grips the door and pushes it closed, a faint hint of joy builds in your soul at the thought of finally locking him out of your life for forever. Yet, the door slams into a shoe as Anon places his foot in the doorway.

"Ruby, please-" he pleads.

"Go away, Anonymous," you growl at him. "You've already done enough."

"I just want to try and make things right," he calls to the inside of your cold, unlit home. You push the door against his foot, but he doesn't budge from his spot.

"After two months of nothing? Absolutely nothing?!" you growl at him. "There is no making things right anymore." Anon sighs as the wind blows outside and snowflakes breeze into your home.

"Your right. I can't make things right. I was horrible. I was horrible to you. I was horrible to my wife," he stated, his tone down and full of regret. You stand on the other side of the door as he leans against it. "I've ruined everything; my life, my marriage. I don't know where to even start to pick up the pieces, but the least that I could do is to try and ensure I don't ruin anyone else's in the process. Like the children," he says solemnly.

The silence between the two of you if only filled by the blowing wind outside. 

"Can we just... talk about this? It's Hearth's Warming Eve. I have nowhere to go now," he muttered.

"That's not my problem," you snapped. "You only have yourself to blame for this mess." Anon remains silent as you push against the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so harsh to you. I'm sorry I abandoned you," he whispered. 

"It's too late for apologies now," you spat back.

A fire burned inside you as you pushed harder against the door. Why won't he just go? Why won't he just leave you in peace? All you want to do is just live your life on your own now. You don't need his help. You don't need anyone's help. A growl develops in the back of your throat as he sighs.

"Can we at least talk about the baby?" he asks, unwilling to accept to defeat.

Your teeth grit in defense and push against the door harder. "What about my baby," you barked.

"I just wanna help," he responded.

He wants to help? You rip open the door and it slams against the wall of your home. Anon stumbles as he loses his balance, then stands to look at you. That was it. That was the last straw.

"You want to help? You want to help?! I was doing just fine before you came along," you roared at him, your face reddening and contorting by the second. Your paws ball into fists as your voice cracks, unable to handle the pure dose of rage that you deliver with every word. Leaning towards him in an act of aggression, you scream louder. "Before you showed up, everything was great! Then you had to trounce on in and ruin everything. You made me feel like I was worth something. You made me feel like I had a purpose. Then you just disappeared without a trace. Do you have any idea what that was like?" you thunder at him.

A fire burns into an inferno in your crimson eyes as he watches you with his own hollow, dead expression. "I waited for you. I waited for days. Then I went to find you. I searched for MONTHS. Then I find out I was some sort of filthy one night stand for you. Some sort of mistake that you were trying to cover up. Do you have any idea what that's like? To go from feeling loved to being someone's dirty secret? Diamond Dogs may be mean, but at least we stay loyal to the ones we love!" you bark at him.

His posture slouches as he stares at the ground, taking your beating without a word of defense. He knows he deserves it. His regret is written all over his face. "Now, you just want to come back here and HELP?" you roar. "What is wrong with you? I don't want your help. I don't want anything to do with you. I just want to set my sights on raising this child the best I can on my own."

The wind blows against Anon as he stands like a statue outside your home. He looks back up at you, with some faint little glimmer of hope in his eyes. His face is covered in frost and the red in his cheeks slowly begins to turn blue as a thin layer of snow forms on his frame. The snow blows even wilder and accumulates on the ground even thicker than before.

"You don't have to do it alone," he stated. 

This is it. The coup de grace. With one more phrase, you could destroy him and remove him from your life completely. You open your mouth to spit one final string of acid into his eyes, but you pause. The warmth inside you causes you to stop. Is this really the right thing to do?

It's not just about doing what's best for you anymore. You have to do what's best for your pup. Every bone in your body wants to destroy that glimmer of hope in his eyes. But is that what you want to teach your child? Do you want to show them that the world is a cold and cruel place? Your mouth closes and your fists unfurl.

"Can we just talk about this?" he asks weakly.

He looks down to your coat and bag, as you feel the snow melting into your sweater. Your muscles tense in anger. No, we can't talk about this. Go away and never come back. With a heavy sigh, you look back at him. His body shivers in the cold weather that seems to only be getting worse.

Are you really that cruel?

You snatch the bag and coat from Anon's hands and step aside. "Fine," you reply. "Just stop letting the cold into my house."

Shaking your head in disbelief of your own actions, he steps inside. Closing the door behind him, he steps in and looks around at the surroundings that he last tried to escape so quickly.

"T-thanks," he stutters through chattering teeth.

"Well, take off your coat. I can't have you go out into your death. You will have to stay the night," you sigh.

He gently takes off his coat and places it on a hook near the door. Having him in your home again instantly gives you a migraine unlike any other you've experienced. You need a drink. On the other hand, you are pregnant and alcohol isn't an option.

Heading to the kitchen, you search your cupboards until you find a few old teabags sitting in an old box. Your eyes move to Anon as he stands around awkwardly in your home. You quickly give the bags a sniff. They smell like tea, rather than dust, mold or any other foreign substance. Looks like they will have to do. Grabbing a kettle, you fill it with water and set it on the stove to warm up.

"You wanted to talk. Let's talk," you state bluntly. Anon places a hand on the back of his neck as he slowly paces.

"Well, what now?" he asks you.

"What do you mean, 'what now'?" you ask him forcefully.

"How are we going to handle this?" he asks with blank expression, walking closer to you.

"Handle what? My baby?" you ask in disbelief.

"Yeah," he clarifies. You fold your paws and stand up straight.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Anonymous," you growled. "You will not set one foot near my child until I say so. Do you understand?"

Anon takes a step back, shock covering his face. "What? You can't do that," he thunders.

"Oh? Why not?" you reply. "It's my child. My choice. I don't want you near my pup,"

Anon opens his mouth, but turns away with a groan. "I'm just of a part of that baby as you are, Ruby," Anon replies, trying hard to suppress some form of anger.

Your expression remains rigid and firm as you calmly reply back. "Except you abandoned me, Anonymous. I can't trust you. If I can't trust you, how can I allow you near a child?" you reply matter-of-factly.

He turns back to you and raises his hands in the air. "I said I was sorry!" he exclaims.

"Well sorry isn't going to cut it!" you bark back at him. "Your wife kicked you out and now you come running back over to me, because you think that if you can come over here and play nice that maybe I will forgive you-"

"I didn't come back here for you! Christ!" he shouts at you, his face burning red and throwing his hands on the ground. "I'm here to try and work things out for the kid's sake." Anon breathes heavily as he looks at you with anger.

Turning away from you, he rubs his forehead and walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Good. You didn't want to be near him right now anyway.

Returning your attention to the kettle of water, your mind reels with options. The good news is that he isn't here for you. That's good, because you have no interest in him. At all.

And you aren't just telling yourself that.

You should probably go talk to him. Turning to the living room, you stop. You could wait until the tea is done... 

That sounds a lot more appealing.

With a sigh, your brow furrows and stare at the metal kitchen utensil. This also gives you the chance to calm down before you try to talk to him again. If he said one more thing to upset you... you couldn't be held responsible for your actions. You could use something warm to calm your nerves. Looking down at the few packets of tea that you have, you examine them carefully. Fluttershy's tea was good. You wonder if there was some sort of secret to the tea she made.

With a sigh, the answer invades your mind. It was probably love. The fact she made it with love made it taste better. She also probably didn't use mystery teabags that had been sitting in the back of a cupboard. Maybe you could at least make it a little fancier.

Looking into your ice box, you find some cranberries that had been sitting for awhile from a stray craving that made you buy them at the store. Pulling them out, you look into your spice cupboard and grab some honey and cinnamon. Grabbing two mugs, you place them on the counter and place a few berries in each, with a stick of cinnamon and a little honey. Returning your attention to the water, which slowly warms up to the proper temperature.

He really seems to only want to be in the child's life. 

But there are still unsettled questions. Where is Fluttershy and him at? If he does help you, where does that leave him with Fluttershy's child? How do you know that if she doesn't take him back, that he wouldn't leave you high and dry again later. Just like last time. You shake your head and take a deep breath. The best thing to do is to never get reliant on it in the first place.

If you got used to his help and he just disappeared again, you would have to go through all the steps of becoming independent again... You need to stick up for yourself, Ruby. The only person who can do this is you. Steam slowly begins to escape the nozzle of the kettle and you take the metal container off the heat before the whistle could hurt your ears.

Pouring some water into the two mugs you prepared, you place the bags in and watch it's essence begin to brew. This is it, Ruby. This is your defining moment as an adult. Can you go into there and have a serious conversation with Anon about how to raise this child? Taking the two mugs, you stand up straight and take a deep breath. You sure hope so.

Moving slowly to the living room, as to not spill a drop, you notice Anon sitting on a beat up sofa that you claimed when someone was going to throw it out.  You hold the mug in front of him and he gently takes it. 

"Thank you," he whispers.

"Are you cold?" you ask quietly. "I have fur, so I tend to keep it cold in here to keep the bills down.

"Yeah, a little," he answers, warming his hands with the heat from the mug.

"I'll get you a blanket. You'll need one to sleep on the couch anyway," you add.

Setting your mug down on a table near your reading chair, which was on the opposite side of the room as Anon, you move to your room to get a blanket. Opening your closet, you look to the top shelf, where the blankets were. Standing on your tip toes, you reach up and pull down a few. 

Pulling on a thick blue blanket, it falls down to the floor along with a smaller light blue blanket that comes with it. Picking up the smaller of the two blankets, you examine it closely. It was the same blanket that you had when you were a child. With a gentle smile, you fold it up and place it back where it was. You know exactly who will be getting that as soon as they are born.

Grabbing the larger blanket you sigh and head back out to the hallway and return to the living room. Standing beside him, he sits gently on the tea you made for him.

"Here," you offer to him, extending the blanket in your arms.

"Oh, thanks," he says, taking it and wrapping his legs in a protective pocket of warmth.

Turning away from him, you move to your reading chair and recline into it. Taking your own mug of tea, you gently sip the contents and look up to him. 

"So, what else is there to say?" you ask him.

Anon holds his tea in his hands and looks down at the contents. You can recognize the look he wears as he stares into his reflection in the liquid.

"I want to be a part of the child's life. Somehow," he says.

With a sigh, you lean back in your chair and try to keep an open mind. The answer sits on the tip of your tongue. No. Never going to happen.

"Why?" you ask patiently.

Anon looks up to you, realizing this might be the only chance he gets all day. Carefully, he chooses his words before he opens his mouth.

"Because the children, yours and Fluttershy's, are the only people I haven't hurt yet. The very least that I could do is try and be a good father," he answers quietly. He looks up at you with that same glimmer of hope in his eyes. Ugh. Why does he have to have a good reason? Why can't he just be gone? 

"How do I know you won't hurt mine too?" you ask him, staring daggers into his eyes. 

He looks around the room."Well, I don't have any experience with being a father. At all. It's going to be hard. I'll probably mess up," he says. "But, it's better than if I didn't do anything at all."

You open your mouth to reply, but close it as your eyes move to the floor. He has a great point. How do you even know that you will be a good mother? 

Snap out of it, Ruby.

You cannot afford to not be a good mother. With a sigh, you rise from your seat and move across the room, at a loss for your next question. Then, his wife pops into your head again.

"What about Fluttershy's baby?" you ask while looking away from him. Anon looks back up to you.  

"Why would one get favoritism over the other?" he asks sincerely.

"Oh, well. I dunno, maybe she was your wife or something," you snap back. His gaze returns to the floor as he slouches in his couch and shakes his head.

"This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I doubt there is going to be any going back to any sort of normal after today," he answers.	You stop in your tracks and turn to face him directly.

"So, that's it? You are just going to give up?" you ask in surprise. He looks back up at you with a stern look of shock.

"What else am I going to do? Stamp back in and ask for forgiveness?" he asks you in an offended tone.

"Weren't you just saying that it would be better to do something than nothing at all?" you intentionally attempt to use his words against him.

He opens his mouth to shoot back a retort, but comes up with nothing and his gaze returns to the floor. "Knowing her, I might be lucky to see the child once in a blue moon. If I'm lucky, maybe be a babysitter. That is, if her friends are all busy. She is very protective of the ones she loves," he replies. "This might be my only chance to be the father these kids deserve." Anon looks back up to you with the same gaze a homeless filly would wear when asking for a piece of bread. "Please. Can I at least have a chance?" he asks quietly.

You look down at him and try to envision the scene in your head. Anon seeing the pup once or twice a week to play in the park, under your supervision. Maybe he helps him with his homework. Perhaps he watches him while you are at work. That would definitely solve the babysitter problem. All you would have to do is leave your only child with him, while you are out of sight for eight or more hours a day.

An involuntary growl rests in your lungs and your muscles tense at the thought. There is no way you could allow that to happen. You don't trust Anon. That's it. That is all there is to it. The only way to restore that trust is to give him a chance. You look at him dead in the eyes as you sigh.

"I can't," you say selfishly. He looks back to the ground as the glimmer finally fades. "I can't trust you, Anon," you reply. "You hurt me so much that I didn't even want you to come inside my home. I wanted to leave you in the cold to fend for yourself, but I couldn't do that with a good conscience."
You shake your head and return to the chair. "If I can't trust you, then I can't have you around my child. I just can't."

He nods and covers his face with his hands.

"How can I begin to gain your trust?" he asks desperately.

You remain silent as you watch his body begin to shudder. Maybe the events from today have all finally began to crush down on him. You have to be strong. This isn't just for you anymore. Your child deserves to be watched by those that you can trust. A moment passes before Anon opens his mouth to speak again.

"Right. I understand," he says with a sigh, trying to sit back up straight. "I just... I just don't know what to do from here." He looks back up to you with a faint smile. "I suppose that doesn't matter to you though, huh?" he asks sarcastically. "All that matters is doing the right thing for the baby."
You open your mouth to correct him, but his words ring true. "Well, I suppose the best thing to do at this point is to wait out the storm," he says. "I dunno about you, but I just feel drained."

With a quiet nod, you rise from your chair and grab your mug of tea. "You can stay the night, but-"

"I'll be gone in the morning. I'll leave you and the baby alone," he interrupts. "If that's what you really want."

A moment of silence confirms his suspicion. Your muscles tense and the back of your throat feels as if it had swollen shut as you try to find something to say.

"In that case, thank you, Ruby," he says, laying down on the couch and closing his eyes. He covers himself with the blanket and lays on his side, facing the inside of the couch.

"You're welcome," you reply to him.

Quietly, you move to the hallway and into your room. Closing the door behind you, you freeze and carefully think over the words that you said. You got what you wanted. Your baby is all yours. Anon won't interfere. This is perfect.

This is exactly what you wanted.

Then why do your muscles hurt? Why do you feel so guilty? You turn to your closed door. Placing your paw on the handle, you think to yourself that maybe it isn't too late. Maybe you can work things out. He's back here. Isn't this all you wanted to begin with? Your chest burns and you close your eyes as you remember how you felt being held in his arms on the bed that sat just behind you. The paw on the door handle trembles.

Then turns the knob... and locks it.

There is no going back. You can't trust him. Moving to the bed, you lay down and wrap yourselves under the covers that had long since lost his scent that kept you awake at night and filled you with heartache. You will just have to eat through the guilt. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Yet, while a part of you wonders if doing this is a mistake, you can at least ensure those mistakes that others make will not be made on your pup. Closing your eyes, that restful thought gently lulls you to sleep. Your pup will have a better life. That's all that matters.





Your eyes open to streaming sunlight coming in through the bedroom windows. Sitting up in bed, you look around your room. Rising to your paws, you grab a pair of sweats and a sweater and throw them on as you re-approach your bedroom door. Alright, Ruby. You have to kick him out.

He isn't your responsibility. This is the final step. Placing a paw on the door, you take one last deep breath. You can do this.

Turning the knob, you pull the door and it slowly squeaks open. You tip toe down the hallway, your hair surely a complete mess, however, you couldn't take a shower with him in the house. It might send the wrong message. As you return to your living room, you find the blanket sitting folded on the couch, with a small note and a small pouch. Approaching the blanket, you pick up the card to find a note in scrawled cursive.

"It's not much, but should at least help you make ends meet for awhile. Let the hospital know I will cover all expenses-"

You crumple the note and toss it across the room without reading the rest.

"Just who the hell do you think you are, Anonymous?" you growl under your breath. "I'm not some damsel in distress that you need to save." 

Grabbing the blanket, you stamp across the hallway as your blood begins to boil. That was it. That was the final straw. He thinks that you can't do this all by yourself? Well, you can show him. You can prove it to all of them. Who needs Anon?

Him leaving was the best thing that could possibly happened.

"UURGH!" you groan as you toss the blanket onto your unmade bed with a lot more force than you should. "I'm going to be a great mother and I will do this all by myself."

You take a deep breath and try to ease your temper. He's just trying to help. He was trying to be kind and stay out of your hair. Rubbing your temples with your paws you try to get a bearing on what the right thing to do is now. You take slow measured steps from your bedroom to your bathroom, where you look at yourself closely in the mirror.

While your golden brown hair remained the same, as well as your crimson eyes, the reflection seemed to have a different appearance than the Ruby you saw in your tea yesterday. Yesterday, you nearly ended everything permanently. Today, you finally broke free. A smile curls on your face. You're free.

No more Anon. No more Fluttershy. All that's left is for you to live your own life. You won't let your troubled past tell you that you can't anymore. There isn't a single female in Equestria that could be a better mother to this child than you can.

Looking deep into your own eyes, you look over the new version of yourself that you've become. The first thing to do, is to wash away all of tears, sweat and pain of the least two months. Shedding your clothes, you turn the water to warm and return to the mirror. As you wait for the water to reach the proper temperature, a part of you wonders if your own mother looked at herself in the mirror and wondered the same thoughts that ran through your mind.

With a slight chuckle, you take a step back. You suppose, at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. No matter what, one thing is for certain. You will make your mother proud by raising this child, just like she did for you.
> Epilogue: The Young
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a bright and beautiful autumn day in Equestria, as the clouds move slowly across the sky. Looking up from your book, you watch the white fluffy puffs of water as they crawl past the sun. After all of the nippy weather lately, the warm front would be welcome while it lasted. 

You sat on a park bench, your paws gripping onto a new book you began to read called 'One-Way Ticket.' It wasn't anything outrageous or special, just some story about two ponies finding love on a train ride. Yet, something about the tale was heartwarming and filled you with warmth.

Your eyes move out to the park's playground where the ponies played. Well, mostly ponies. Off to the side was one other little one that you held very special. He stood tall on two paws, with light brown fur that matched yours perfectly. At least, up until his mid-rift. The upper half of his body was a better reflection of his father. Two human arms gripped a ball tightly as he focused on a broken bucket that was nailed to a tall post. His face was nearly perfect mirror image of a younger Anonymous, but he still had your golden-brown hair.

Once he was held in your arms in the maternity ward, you knew exactly what you would name him. The minute he laid his handsome green eyes on his mother, he grew a wide smile that filled you with a sense of life and purpose that you had never felt before. That was the moment that you knew you would be there for Jade every single day that you could.

Jade dribbles the basket-ball in his hands and holds it in his hand as he takes aim. Getting a ball for him was a little expensive, but he loves that thing to death. His eyes light up like stars when you got him it for his birthday. Since then, you couldn't keep him away from it.

Jade tosses the ball from his hands towards the basket. It bounces on the edge and flies off. Quickly, he scurries off on his two paws to retrieve it before it gets too close to the other ponies. With a sigh, you frown to yourself.

If only there were a way to have him be more accepted by the other young ponies. Jade always wanted to know why he didn't look like the other little ponies. The problem was that you didn't have an answer for him. You tried to explain that it was because his Mama was a diamond dog, but it didn't stick very long. His paws and hands didn't match.

He was stuck in a realm of confusion that he didn't have an answer to.

Soon he would be starting school with some of the other fillies and colts and you were worried for him, to say the least. With a sigh, you look back down to your book. He'll just have to learn the hard way. You will be there for him, every step of the way. But what could you do? He was different in a way that it would be almost impossible to explain. All you can do is the best that you can.

You are a good mother. At least, so you tell yourself. You can do this.

"I haven't seen you around this park before," says a familiar voice.

Turning your head to the source of the friendly tone, you see a tall human, a few feet from your park bench. He wore a pair of jeans and a button up red flannel shirt. It was almost as if he didn't change at all since you last saw him, the morning after the blizzard. Turning back to your book, you act as if he were a total stranger.

"It's nice out. My son and I decided to try a new park," you reply, pretending to read.

Your hair stood on edge. You've done this well without him. The idea of seeing him again fills you with anxiety and unease. You can't trust him. Nopony can trust him. After two new satyr children were born into Ponyville, it didn't take long for the townspeople to put together two and two.

You kept to your side of town and as a result, got to keep far away from whatever it was going on in Fluttershy and Anon's life. Fluttershy never re-extended the offer to help you with doctor's appointments and you wouldn't have dared to return to ask. There wasn't a single part of their drama that you wanted to be a part of. Anon already did enough to you.

"Your son?" Anon asks, looking out into the playground. "Oh. I see him." He stands up straight, watching as Jade lines up to take another shot.

"What's his name?" Anon asks.

"His name is Jade," you reply with a terse tone, rereading the same paragraph a third time and hoping to glean some sort of meaning from it.

"I see," Anonymous replies. "It's a nice name."

"I thought so," you answer, finally turning a page of your book.

Anon turns to you, then looks back and watches Jade as he shoots the ball. The ball overshoots the bucket and rolls off away from the little boy as he chases after it.

“I knew I should have put up a backboard," Anon says under his breath.

You look up from your book to Anon.

"You put up those baskets?" you ask him curiously. Anonymous nods and looks back to you.

"Yeah. Once I saw how Ivy turned out, I realized the parks in town weren't very human friendly," He turns out and admires his handiwork. "So I homemade a few things that I could remember back from Earth and put them up. That's supposed to be a basketball hoop, but I couldn't find something for a backboard that would work right," Anon explains.

"Why?" you ask.

Anon pauses and looks back at you with a pained expression. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it, then opens it again. "Do you mind if I sit down?" Anon asks.

You look back at him and you can feel yourself grow more uneasy.

"It's a public bench. I can't stop you," you reply flatly.

Moving over, Anon sits on the bench beside you and leans back. He watches Jade dribble the ball around the park and back to the hoop. 

"After I left, the last time we saw each other. I went home and Fluttershy wanted a divorce. I tried to talk us through it... but the damage was already done. We went to the Princess to have our marriage annulled and while that happened, a critical issue came up. Custody," Anon explained. You close your book and watch Jade as you listen to Anon's story. "Fluttershy didn't want me to even get close to her daughter. I tried to plead my case, but at the end of it all, she got full custody and won't even let me see her. I don't want to cause anymore drama than I already have... so I just try to help in little ways,"

"Those baskets are in every park in town," you mention.

"Did you think I would forget about yours?" he asks. You turn to him and cast him a glare.

"Right, nevermind," he says. "Anyway, I just wanted there to be something for them. Anything. Something I could do to help out. Fluttershy won't let me do anything. I figured this could be my own little way of helping."

He watches Jade carefully line up a new shot for the basket. Why would he do all of this? Is it so he can try to win back Fluttershy? No, that doesn't make sense. If he was trying to win back Fluttershy, wouldn't he try to go directly to her, not the child?

Maybe...

Is he trying to aim for you?

"So, why are you here then?" you ask him bluntly. Anon remains unfazed as your words jab into him.

"Do you see those flowers over there?" he says, pointing to another part of the park.

"Yes," you answer.

"Turns out Ivy didn't have an interest with sports, even with her Aunt Rainbow egging her on. So her mother and her planted those. Ivy comes out to tend to them almost every day. She waters them and will talk to them. I think it's pretty adorable," he says.

"So, you come out to watch her," you observe.

Anon shifts in his seat. "Well, when you say it like that, it just sounds creepy," he says. You look out towards Jade and smile.

"No, I kind of understand. There's something innocent about them," you say warmly as you watch your son. The two of you sit on the park bench as Jade recollects the ball again.

"His stance is wrong. He needs to have his feet wider and jump when he shoots," Anon says. "The backboard would help too. I'm going to do that. I'll-"

"I don't want you interacting with my son," you say with a warning, not turning to Anon. Silence fills the distance between you two.

"I know. I won't," he answers weakly.

"However, I know he will want to know who his father is one day," you reply, looking down to your book. Anon goes quiet.

"What will you do then?" he asks. You look back out to your son, who recollects the ball and runs back to the hoop.

"Hey Jade!" you call out to your son. He turns to look at you. "Try jumping when you throw the ball!" you call out to him. Anon looks back to the pup with curiosity as he yells back to you.

"Okay, Mom!" Anon shakes his head.

"He sounds like me when I was a kid," he observes.

"I guessed as much," you reply.

Jade leaps into the air and tosses the ball lightly. It spins around on the rim and then falls inside.

"I did it!" he calls out. Jade turns back to you, jumping up and down. "Mom! It worked!" Jade yells.

"I saw sweetie! Good Job!" you call back to him. He runs to get the ball and lines up for another shot.

"Listen, I probably better go... I've intruded on you enough," Anon says, rising to his feet. Looking back to the human, he rises and takes a few steps away from the bench. "I don't know if you are trying to keep Jade away from Ivy, but she will probably be here in ten minutes or so," he says.

"Yeah, I suppose it's not the right time for them to see each other yet," you answer.

Anon walks away quietly, his hands in his pockets. You look back to your son, as he tosses the ball at the basket again and the ball falls in again. A radiant look of pride beams from his face as he lines up to get three in a row.

"I haven't decided yet!" you call to Anon. The human turns back to you, as you try to elaborate. "I don't know what I'll do, when he wants to know who the father is," you explain. "But, he will probably want to meet him,"

Anon takes a few steps back to you and looks back at Jade.

"What are you saying?" he asks.

The words are jumbled in your mouth. You don't want Anon even close to your child. However, Jade deserves to know who his father is. Anon looks back to you with hollow eyes and an expression that seems to have tried to hide five years of sadness. Your eyes move back to the basketball hoop, then back to the flowers.

"You really want to be a part of their lives, don't you?" you ask. Anon sighs and looks back at Jade.

"More than anything else I've ever wanted in this world or even my original one," he says. Silence fills the gap as Jade shoots the ball for third time.

"I'll think about it," you state. "I won't promise a thing." 

The ball bounces off the rim and flies away from the basket.

"That's good enough for me," Anon says. "Can I ask one thing though?"

You turn to Anon and he looks back to you. For a moment, deep in his eyes, you can barely recognize him. You don't see the hurtful person that snapped at you in Fluttershy's home. You can't find the beautiful eyes that drove you to the edge of your sanity. All you can find is pain. Pain mixed with a small dose of hope.

"Is Jade happy?" he asks softly.

Your strong defense seems to waiver just a little.

"Yes," you answer softly. "The happiest little pup I've ever seen."

Anon smiles and brings two fingers to his eyes to attempt to rub away tiredness. They pull away from his eyes with a few drips of damp liquid.

"Then, I'm proud of him," Anon says, turning away from you and walking towards the edge of the park.

Your throat feels tight as Jade lines up for another shot. Maybe... maybe Anon has changed. Standing up, you walk towards your son, holding your book. You don't want him interacting with Fluttershy's daughter. It will probably be inevitable one day, but the longer you put off that day, the better. 

Jade leaps into the air and tosses the ball at the basket. The ball falls in with ease and Jade smiles and turns to you.

"I think I got it, Mom!" Jade smiles to you.

"That's great, Sweetie. You will have to teach me how to do it sometime," you say to him softly. "But I think it's time to go home for lunchtime."

"Okay!" he says, grabbing his ball and running up to you. "I'm ready to go."

"Alright then, let's head home," you say to him, as the two of you begin the journey back home.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a small girl with long pink hair, walking on two yellow hooves and wearing a bright blue dress, walk toward the bed of flowers on the other side of the park. Placing a paw on Jade's back, you ensure his eyes are facing away from her.

"Jade?" you say softly.

"Yeah, Mom?" Jade asks, looking up to you with his innocent emerald eyes.

"I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you," you say to him warmly, giving him a wide smile.
Jade smiles and takes your paw in his hand as the two of you stroll back towards home.

"I love you, Mom," Jade says happily.

"I love you too, Jade," you reply.

You've got a lot of thinking left to do. The answer won't come overnight. But for today, you will just smile and cherish this moment with all of your heart. Because no matter how hard things can seem, one thing rings true. If you just give it time, things will get better.