God Con

by Zaleros

First published

Celestia goes to Earth for a convention of immortals and the likes.

Celestia is invited to Earth by God to attend a convention he's holding to show how the other gods and goddesses of Earth are appreciated for helping shape his world into what it is today. (Teen rating due to probable swearing. Alt universe is there just because it's Earth.)

Earth

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Outside of an inconspicuous building in the Big Apple, otherwise known as New York City, a bright light shone that would blind most who saw it. This however made no visible impact on Celestia’s current witnesses, as one had seen brighter without need to shield himself from it and the other with him was turned around at the time.

“That was... a new experience,” Celestia said after a few seconds of adjusting to what just happened. Being alive for over a thousand years meant you saw and went through very many things, but extrauniversal travel was not one of them.

“Good afternoon, Celestia,” the one who bore witness to her sudden appearance said, not fazed at all by their difference in body structure. “I’m glad to see you decided to accept my offer.”

After taking a moment to orient herself, Celestia composed herself and looked toward the strange bipedal creature that stood before her. Just by looking at him she could tell he radiated power that even she couldn’t fathom the depths of.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, God,” the ethereal maned alicorn responded, bowing deep out of respect. “I hope while I am here that we can learn a great deal about each other and forge a strong bond between our people.”

“No need to be so formal my dear,” God chuckled, wearing a warm smile that showed kindness even Princess Celestia could tell was as genuine as his power. “Although you may find that those you meet here are not typical of the beings found here on this planet. They are the ones that are revered for their power, grace, and, in some cases, form. While you are here, however, I want you to treat them all as your equal, none are above another.”

“You have my word,” Celestia promised, wearing a small smile of her own. “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you find me in Equestria when we’re from separate universes?”

The almighty being chuckled to himself and spoke, “When you’ve lived as long as I have, you have the time to check up on what the others have been up to.”

“You know the Creator?” Celestia wondered aloud. This being before her looked as though he were in the early portion of his latter half of life, although, as an immortal he may have chosen this look on purpose. Even his voice was rather soothing and she felt as though listening to him for an extended period of time would be pleasing rather than a chore.

“Yes, yours is a pleasant one. Many times I’ve reached out to other Creators but few have responded kindly. Yours is the only one I’ve met willing to let me contact one of their own.” It was true, her Creator, Mother Faust, was a gentle Goddess wanting only the best for her creations.

“I’ve always wondered if she was there,” Celestia sighed, filled with painful memories of long ago. “I’m thankful that she has allowed me to visit. Running a nation is taxing, let alone dealing with the nobles,” she allowed herself a small laugh, one that was shared by the powerful being.

“Trust me princess, I can completely understand having to deal with those that consider their plights the most unpleasant situation any could comprehend, even when in hindsight it was just a simple and silly matter. As a Creator myself, I am tasked, but not burdened, with hearing all forms of prayer toward me. I am sure if it were any lesser being that they would be driven mad, so I cannot blame your wish to have a respite, even if only a short while.”

The one that God brought with him took notice of her presence now and turned around, facing his creator.

“Sorry, I was busy wondering what I’d be having for dinner tonight.” He was a human male, with pale skin, an opposite of the appearance of God. He stood about as tall as him as well, but no facial hair. The hair upon his head was a light brown and short enough that it did not impair his vision or even cover his ears.

“Don’t worry about that Bruce; I believe the others who have gathered here will be able to provide you with food of their own design.”

Celestia couldn’t help but watch with curiosity at how this man talked so nonchalantly with his own creator without any sign of hesitation or worry that he might not live up to the expectations of God. She could only wish that one day her own little ponies would start treating her like an equal when she walked with them. She wished that it could be so, but she knew that they would never allow themselves to see her as any less than a being above them, and for that she sighed.

Bruce Nolan, the companion of this Creator, finally took notice of their last minute guest’s appearnace and realized she wasn’t human. Heck, she didn’t even stand on just two legs. If anything, he thought she came from a Greek legend told by a little girl. She even wore a crown, as though she were some kind of royal horse, the thought almost making him laugh. That didn’t stop him from wanting to make a good impression with their probably friend.

Not wanting to make a bad impression, he coughed and stepped forward, holding his hand out, “I’m sorry ma’am, I hadn’t realized you were actually here yet. You see, I’m pretty hungry and sometimes I tune things out when I’m hungry.”

Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle and wore a small smile as she met his hand with her hoof, “It’s alright, we all have our moments where we lose ourselves to wandering thoughts.” Dealing with the problems of nobles often left her wondering what she herself would order for dinner, which led to thinking about dessert. Once she reached that state, she had to snap herself back to the present to stay on task with the current noble’s issues, even when they amounted to little more than another pony looking at them the wrong way and demanding she do something about it.

“Thanks for understanding...” he led her, not actually knowing her name.

“Princess Celestia.”

“Thanks for understanding, Princess Celestia. If you don’t mind me asking, are you actually a princess or is that just your name?”

“It’s just a title, if you wish you may just call me Celestia.” There were many back in Equestria that she wished would do the same, but even her student of over a decade couldn’t bring herself to drop the title of Princess even for a moment, lest she slip up and somehow insult or fail her. What her student failed to realize was that there was nothing she could ever do to cause her to look down upon her precious pupil. Although Celestia never had any foals of her own, she often thought of Twilight not only as her student, but like her own daughter.

“So you’re a princess horse from another world then?” Bruce asked her. This was getting better and better. Not only was she practically a Greek mythological animal, but she was royalty at that. If she said she was from somewhere like Horseland, he was going to lose it.

“Actually I’m a pony, not a horse, but yes I come from another world. My home is called Equestria and-“ she was cut off by Bruce suddenly doubled over, laughing loudly. She looked over at God and whispered to him, confused, “Did I say something funny?”

“My dear, I believe that he thought of what you said as a pun, as you resemble this world’s horses and your home contains a word that here means horse. I believe you should let him have his fun and then we should be going. I’m sure the others are waiting inside, and I don’t want to be seen as a rude host to them.” He turned to Bruce and waved his hand, and to Celestia’s surprise, Bruce’s body moved at rapid speeds she hadn’t thought possible and then realized that God must be speeding up Bruce’s moment of laughter so he could fully enjoy it while not using as much time. She stood there in awe, wondering what else a Creator could hold in Its arsenal. Any time for questions would have to wait for later, when the convention lulled and God was free from distractions.

Once Bruce had finished his laughter fit, he wiped his eyes, which had become rather moist with tears. He hadn’t had this much fun in a long time. He really enjoyed his job at the news station, but recently his life had become rather mundane, his wife withstanding. She was great and he would never trade anything in the world for her, not after what happened when he stood in for God.

“Oh, sorry but I haven’t heard something that funny in a long time. I haven’t even introduced myself yet, my name is Bruce Nolan. I once stood in for the big man here and that was one hell of a time, trust me. Also I can assure you that unlike all the others that were invited, I am completely mortal and can do nothing special.”

“Don’t be so quick to sell yourself short Bruce, I may be able to answer prayers but you can be there when I can’t. Like I said before, what I do is just a bunch of tricks, but it’s you humans that are capable of miracles. You’ve done well these last few years, especially with a baby on the way,” God said with a smile on his own face that matched the one Celestia wore. He was well aware of everything that had happened since he left Bruce to his own devices back then, if anyone was capable of a miracle it was indeed his favorite creation: mankind.

Just then the door to the convention opened up and a strong and vigilant looking female stepped out of entrance. She was wearing a white cloth dress that covered her whole body and had a single strap over her right shoulder.

“It looks like everyone is set up in here, are you ready to begin the convention?” she said to God, not even glancing in her direction.

“Yes Athena, I believe we are ready.” She nodded and walked back in, closing the door. God turned back to us and opened the door again, holding open for Celestia and Bruce, “Shall we?”

And with that, Celestia walked in after Bruce, wondering how Luna would handle Day Court and Night Court for one day, ultimately deciding to let this day be a relaxing vacation.