Chapter 1
I was her personal chariot to the Grand Galloping Gala and although I could have teleported us there, I knew Fluttershy would enjoy the ride. She nodded off just a few miles into the journey and as she napped peacefully I spotted the Gala in the distance. We would be there very soon and the silence got me thinking about many things. Love, friendship, and the magic of a perfect night.
Marvelous, simply marvelous. I had pictured the Gala to be grand so to speak but as we approached the real thing was more spectacular than I imagined. I’ll have to pay Tia and LuLu a visit while we’re here to congratulate them on hosting yet another fabulous event.
Ponies dressed in their best galloped to the red carpet and up the crystal staircase two by two before greeting Princess Celestia and entering. Pretty little fillies dressed in long flowing gowns locked arms with their certain special somponies.
I cringed at the sight of them. Courtship is one thing but relationships in this millennia have always been a bit sickening. They are so much fun to watch. It’s funny how ponies create their own chaos without any help from me and tonight I may not have to lift a finger.
The massive herd of couples robotically marched together with wide forced smiles and upturned snouts like plastic little toys fresh off the assembly line.
Apparently, taste has also been lost through the centuries. It amazes me what ponies consider attractive nowadays. Thick neck stallions, with pointy chins, overgrown steroid injected bodies with a hubris so pretentious they think Celestia’s sunlight shines from their anus.
Please…how could creatures so boring consider themselves so special. There’s nothing special about a tool. They are a free meal at best. They pay for the tickets, the transportation, the dinner, the drinks, chocolates, flowers, dancing, a movie, a puppy, pedicures, crab Rangoon, or whatever else will keep her from complaining as well as a hotel room where she repays the debt.
And don’t get me started on the mares. Basic, the lot of them. All dressed up in hopes of making every mare else jealous. It’s a game, and everypony plays. Don’t be the ugly one and don’t be seen with the ugly one and you win. But if you win, you loose. Hilarious.
Ponies both starve and mutilate themselves for what they consider the perfect look. That cow there is so thin she looks like a wet cat. I didn’t know whether to laugh at her or shove an extra large bucket of hay fries in her face. I guess sickly is the new sexy.
If that is what ponies call love I decided I wanted no part in it long ago. I can have much more fun enjoying the view of chaos alone. I must be getting old to believe that relationships are supposed to hold at least an inkling of romance. Not in this lifetime.
Other than laughing at the foals who attend these stupid events I have always wanted to go to one with a pretty filly of my own. To be in our own little world as a happy couple.
As classy, charming and incredibly handsome as I am, relationship don’t come easy for me…or love in general…...or attraction....…or liking…….Hell, most ponies won’t even give me a smile.
But whatever who needs it if I’m to be settled with 99 problems and a pair of flapping gums.
True love will probably never happen for me and besides I would rather a real friendship over gilded love any day.
That’s why I’m so happy Fluttershy agreed to go to the Gala with me.
“Fluttershy, wake up. We’ve arrived.
I landed at the Canterlot train station. Fluttershy woke up and slowly climbed down from my back. Her wide gracious smile let me know that she enjoyed the ride.
She is truly amazing. She’s my teacher, my savior, my best friend. I mean she’s the greatest friend anypony could ask for. Not to mention she looked absolutely breathtaking tonight.
Her soft pink hair gracefully floated in the wind as she stepped toward me. Her shoes made her hooves clack with each step and I noticed the vines tightly wrapped around her plush succulent legs. A stream of neon blue rushed across her green dress and she stood before me like a poised wildflower. She looked me right in the eye and playfully stuck her tongue out at me. Usually she’s incredibly timid but she could always be herself around me. Her openness made me smile and I told her,
“You look beautiful Fluttershy.”
“Oh umm this old thing.” Fluttershy looked down at her gown and blushed.
“Rarity fixed it up for me and added some fabric to make it look new. Angel says she did a wonderful job and I couldn’t agree more but umm I wore this dress the last time I attended the Gala. Do you think anypony will notice?”
“I wasn’t talking about your dress my dear. You are a natural beauty. If you came to the Gala wearing a funnel, a plastic bag and aluminum foil on your hooves you would still be the most beautiful mare here.”
Fluttershy burst into a loud cheerful laughter. Her amusement echoed into the night and would have surprised most ponies seeing as how her gentle voice hardly ever ranged louder than a stern whisper. She is a quiet one indeed; a docile and delicate little dove but I could always bring out the best in her.
“Ha Ha Ha…What? Oh my..no. Why would I go to the Gala wearing that?”
“Why not?”
“Because Discord, That doesn’t make any sense.”
“And what fun is there in making sense?”
On our way into the Castle, we approached a large crowd that swarmed around the red carpet entrance. I let out a loud irritated groan at the sight of it. I slump his shoulders and his arms flopped back like a wet noodle. I could have effortlessly teleported us into the ballroom in seconds and was absolutely livid about waiting in line for any amount of time. “Ugh! Waiting in line is for earth ponies!” I thought as I rolled my eyes.
Fluttershy softly placed her hoof on my paw and urged me to be patient as she eagerly galloped toward the end of the line and awaited her turn in the red carpet spotlight. My disgruntled expression faded instantly and I patiently wanted to enter for Fluttershy’s sake. I could never stay angry when she was around.
Ponies gaped at us from a distance completely dumbfounded because they just couldn’t figure us out. How could somepony like me end up with somepony like her? Well he doesn’t…He couldn’t possibly now could he? But I suppose nights like tonight are an exception.
The perfect mare who fell from heaven and chaos incarnate who slithered to the surface from Hades together on a date that really isn’t a date at all. I couldn’t make sense of it either but the bit of chaos our presence caused did give me pleasure.
I didn’t mind attending the Gala as a platonic couple as long as it was with her. No, I wasn’t her special somepony but she always made me feel like somepone special.
Fluttershy lightly tugged at my paw and looked up at me with concern. “Are you alright? It’s just that umm..you’ve been extremely quiet this evening..not that I have a problem with that or anything….I just..nevermind.” Fluttershy blushed and let out a squee. I smirked at her awkward timid little grin. For a moment I became lost in her eyes until she brought me back to reality.
“Discord?”
“Yes Fluttershy?”
“Umm…not to rush you or anything but are you ready to go in? It’s our turn to go in now.”
“Ah yes, of course my dear. Shall we?”
Everypony fell silent as we stepped onto the red carpet. They harshly glared with both concern and disapproval; As if our presence was some sort of trickery. Fluttershy stared back at the crowd in both shock and terror on the verge of tears. The sight of her in pain enraged me. Ponies gasped as I raised my claw worming them not to aggravate us any longer. I was about to snap.
The crowd quickly looked to Celestia and anxiously awaited her next move. Their eyes pressured her to fix what they believed to be some sort of error. The Princess didn’t approve of the disharmony spreading in the crowd so she decided to correct the situation. Celestia stood tall and spread her wings demanding the attention of everypony. With a sovereign and benevolent tone, the princess began to speak.
“Discord. Fluttershy. Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala. I am happy to see that you have both chosen to accept my personal invitation to this increasable celebration. Ladies and GentleStallions please put your hooves together for this beautiful couple and my most honored guests.”
Everypony applauded and cheered as we trotted down the velvet runway. I waved and blew kisses to the audience while Fluttershy smiled and tried not to bring anymore attention to herself.
It is a good thing Celestia stepped in when she did. I was thinking of turning them all into ice sculptures bashing their heads in and using the debris to cool my drink but her way works too. All that matters is that Fluttershy is smiling again. She has the most beautiful smile in the world and tonight, will be the best night of her life. I will make sure of that. Honored Guests? That certainly has a nice ring to it. Her speech was very touching and I graciously whispered in Celestia’s ear,
Thank you Tia. You never cease to amaze me.
Unlike others ponies who were greeted with a hearty hooveshake we embraced the Princess with a warm hug and entered the Gala at last.