Battle of the Blanks is over and the aftermath has left many scars. Can the man who fought the Battle help heal the wounds? Or will he succumb to a new battle? One for the hearts and minds of ponies.
The Battle of the Blanks is over, the Blood Hooves are no more. The curse has been lifted and Equestria is safe once more. Or is it? Konrad Ford has survived the battle but is now the "Last Human" in Equestria. As the ponies have mistakenly thought he perished, he shows up once more, attracting more than just the attention of the ponies. Soon everypony will want answers about Humanity's past and knowledge, all expecting Konrad to tell them the great secrets of Humanity, a lot of which he'll have to lie through his teeth.
With all the attention on him, isolation from his home, and more renegade approach than what ponies would consider acceptable, will he integrate successfully into Equestrian society? Will he continue to win the heart of Luna or another mare, Humanity's biggest fan...Lyra. Or will he fall to chaotic influence of Discord and forget the lessons of the show he loves so much?
The aftermath may prove to be a great beginning for Equestria or perhaps it's demise.
As the sun slowly rose in the sky, many of Ponyville’s residents were waking up and getting ready for the day. The commotion of Royal Guards in the late night woke many ponies up, and naturally, gossip ensued. Many wondered if there was a Changeling threat near the town, while others dismissed it as a scare prank to build up suspense for an “unknown monster” to appear later in the night. Regardless of the troop build-up, the residents went about their daily life in addition to getting ready for Nightmare Night.
Anticipation for the event could be seen and felt everywhere as many were putting up decorations on and around their own houses. Such was the sight that Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadence noticed as they walked down Mane Street towards the Library. Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor proved to be siblings by walking tiredly, mirroring each other.
“Ugh! I’m so-” said Twilight Sparkle.
“-sleepy. Need-” added Shining Armor.
“My-”
“Rest! Uuuuugghhh.” groaned the unicorn siblings.
“Oh dear Twilight, you and your brother truly are siblings! It appears sleep crankiness runs in the family! It’s absolutely hilarious!” said Rarity following up with a giggle.
Both turned and looked at Rarity with a “not amused” look before continuing further down the street. Princess Cadence couldn’t but help add her two bits into the conversation.
“Oh, Rarity, you have no idea how much of a true statement! Why this one time, I swear Shining Armor was acting like a-”
“Don’t say it, honey.”
“What?”
“Don’t say it; Twilight and I have both heard that word enough already.”
With a mischievous smile on her face, Princess Cadence said,
“Zom-”
“DON’T!” shouted both Twilight and Shining Armor.
A few ponies putting their decorations up heard the commotion and turned their heads to look at them. As they looked with confusion on their faces, Princess Cadence tried to save face by saying,
“Oh! Don’t spoil the surprise for the town? Why would I do that?”
“What surprise?” asked a mare coming up to them.
Rarity and Twilight recognized the mare as Carrot Top, the same mare who couldn’t fit Princess Celestia’s name on a banner.
“A surprise? Is this related to the Guards in town last night?” asked Time Turner.
Like Carrot Top, he stopped putting his decorations up and was curious to get answers from Princess Cadence. Soon, more ponies came over to the group and began asking more questions, leaving Cadence in limbo.
“What’s the surprise?” asked Berry Punch.
“Is it something special after the talent show?” asked Colgate.
Princess Cadence looked at Twilight and Shining Armor for support, only to get looks of amusement on their faces. Using a method of relaxation, which was taking a deep breath and exhaling while holding a hoof out, Princess Cadence smiled and addressed the crowd,
“Citizens of Ponyville, we have a surprise for you later in the night. However, I cannot spoil it for you by Princess Luna’s orders.”
“Awww!” said the herd in mass disappointment.
“I can tell you, however, it will be a night to remember truly, and I dare say, it will scare your tails off that you’ll have to play Pin the Tail on the Pony to get it back!”
“YEA!” cried the crowd.
“Pin the Tail on the Pony! Woohoo!” cried Derpy.
Twilight and Shining Armor face hooved themselves as it seemed the cross-eyed mare thought the classic Foal’s game was the surprise.
“Now, I urge all of you to return and continue preparing for the upcoming celebration! Princess Luna wishes for this event to be better than the last one. I don’t think we should disappoint her now, should we?”
With the memory of Princess Luna’s anger from last year’s celebration, everypony had a frightful look on their faces and immediately went back to their preparations with lightning speed. Princess Cadence looked at Twilight and Shining Armor while sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Both unicorn siblings rolled their eyes before spotting the Golden Oaks Library in the distance.
“SLEEP!” shouted both unicorn siblings.
Picking up the pace, the siblings broke into a gallop as Princess Cadence and Rarity followed behind.
“Wow! They really love their beauty sleep, don’t they?”
“Yes, they do, and I hope they get plenty of it. I don’t like it when my Shiny is a cranky plot.”
“I heard that!” shouted Shining Armor
Both mares giggled at his response, catching up as Twilight found the door locked. Twilight grabbed the door and shook it in frustration, forgetting that she could teleport inside due to sleep deprivation.
“UGHHH!! AAAUUGGHH!” moaned Twilight.
Shining Armor joined Twilight in trying to open the door, desperate for sleep and suffering from sleep deprivation.
“AAAAAAUUUUUGGGHGH!” moaned Shining Armor.
“Wow....you weren’t joking, were you?” said Rarity.
“Nope, it would seem these two are related after all. If they keep at it, they are going to break-”
With too much stress on the door, it gave away to the two ponies pressing against it, who were moaning like zombies the entire time.
“-the door. Oh, Twilight and Shiny, how you two are-”
Cadence was again interrupted; the two siblings ran into the Library only to scream in unison.
“WAAAAAAAHH!!” screamed Twilight.
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!” screamed Shining Armor.
Rarity and Cadence ran to the Library entrance, not knowing what was wrong. They were treated to a hilarious sight before them when they got inside. Spike and Sweetie Belle made a classic leg trap holding Twilight and Shining Armor by the hind legs dangling as they flailed their forelegs around in distress. The dragon and the filly were throwing scoops of ice cream at them from a rather impressive-looking fort made entirely from books stacked expertly together.
Standing on top of the fort were Spike and Sweetie Belle.
“Take that, zombies! You won’t get our brains!”
“Spike, you saved me from them! My hero!”
Sweetie Belle was wearing a paper crown while Spike was wearing a Red Towel like a cape, taking their respective roles in an overboard fashion.
“SPIKE! WE’RE NOT ZOMBIES!!!!”
Both Spike and Sweetie Belle stopped their ice cream assault, realizing that their targets were not indeed zombies but Twilight and Shining Armor. Realizing he was in a heap of trouble, Spike put the tub of ice cream down and nervously laughed,
“Ehehe! Twilight! You’re home! Oh, I’ll bet you and Shining Armor got those Blood Hooves! Oh, look at the time! I should have been in bed hours ago. I’ll just get right upstairs-”
Twilight’s face turned bright red as a glob of ice cream melted away like a piece of butter on a skillet. The young dragon took a gulp and shook in fear at Twilight’s reaction but didn’t expect what would happen next.
“SPIKE! YOU’RE SO GROUNDED! CLEAN UP THIS MESS AND-zzzzzzzzz.”
Twilight and Shining Armor had fallen asleep while dangling from the rope, eliciting a sigh of relief from Spike.
“Woah! I thought I was done for! Phew!”
“We’re safe, Spike!” said Sweetie Belle while hugging Spike, who rolled his eyes.
“WRONG, SWEETIE BELLE! You have made quite the mess! It’s past your bedtime, and we will go home this instant! And when you wake up, you’ll help me with chores!”
“WHAT! Aww...dumb chores,” said Sweetie Belle taking her paper crown off.
“Now come along, Sweetie Belle! Please tell Twilight I’m sorry for her contribution to the mess.”
“No problem! I got this covered. Looking forward to seeing you later!” smiled Cadence waving goodbye.
“I bid you adieu, your highness!”
Sweetie Belle and Rarity walked out of the Library, where Rarity could be heard scolding her younger sister until the room was quiet. Without wasting any time, Cadence used her magic to lower Twilight and Shining Armor down gently and untied the two. Using magic, she lifted both of them upstairs and gently tucked them into their respective beds, with Shining in the guest room and Twilight in her bed. When she got downstairs, she looked at the dragon trying to make his escape, but the Princess of Love would have none of that.
“Where do you think you are going, young drake?”
Using a mending spell, the door to the Library was now instantly repaired and locked as well. The dragon fiddled with his claws nervously before replying,
“Oh, you know, just trying to get some fresh air, possibly some exercise, me hehe.”
Smiling at Spike, Cadence used her magic to lift a broom from a nearby corner and gave it to him.
“I think you’ll find this exercise more rewarding. The faster you help me clean, the fast we both can get some sleep. And I’m sure you’d like to not turn into a “zombie” like them.”
“Yeah...Twilight gets like that pretty bad...well, I guess I’ll get started then.”
“Excellent! And keep your muzzle up, Spike; we got a celebration later! I’m sure you’ll look forward to the candy, games, and the special “surprise” later.”
“Surprise! Is it a super triple chocolate sundae filled with the best gems?!”
“Well, you’ll just have to help clean to find out, won’t you?”
Spike grunted in disappointment while Cadence made her way towards the kitchen to gather cleaning supplies while Spike checked to make sure she was gone. Looking at his broom, Spike pretended it was Rarity once more.
“Now, where were we, Lady Rarity?”
Instead of imagining the Broom was Rarity, the image of Sweetie Belle appeared instead. Spike grunted in anger and began to clean, disappointment retaking him.
“Dumb Broom....”
Apple Bloom was happy to be home with her family on the farm and talked nonstop about Konrad. On the way over, Apple Bloom talked to Granny Smith about Konrad’s Truck and how cool it was, causing the elder mare to nod in agreement. Applejack took advantage of the situation to talk to Big Macintosh and whispered in his ear,
“Should I tell her what happened? I feel she needs to know, but I’m unsure if she should know yet.”
Big Macintosh looked at Apple Bloom, who was still talking about an Apple Pop Tart that Konrad had given her and his green rag that she liked. The stallion turned back to Apple Bloom and whispered,
“Eeyup...but I recommend you wait on that. She’d be mighty mad and won’t have fun later.”
Applejack lowered her head thinking about Konrad getting swallowed up in a ball of light. The killing of the Last Human would haunt her for the rest of her life, and she was worried she would lose the love of her young sister as a result.
”But it’s a bargain, in my opinion. I’d rather lose Applebloom’s love than have her die. I’m sorry, Mr. Ford, I’d give you a mighty hoof shake and a home-cooked meal for my gratitude if you were here.”
As the Apple family made their way inside the door to their home, Apple Bloom jumped up and down, talking about Nightmare Night. The young filly was eager to see Princess Luna and Konrad, with thoughts, playing games with the man and showing him off to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Applejack did her best to keep telling her truth until after the celebration, but every time Apple Bloom mentioned his name, the more pressure she felt to come clean. Applejack opened the fridge to grab some eggs to prepare breakfast for the family. As Apple Bloom said,
“He was such a good feller! He jumped from a bridge to save my life!”
”Apple Bloom! You’re not making this any easier on me!”
”Why should withholding the truth ever be easy? Only liars find it easy. Are you a liar?”
“What?! Who said that?”
Everypony in the room looked at Applejack as Apple Bloom giggled and said,
“It was me, sis. I said he was a good feller, don’t you think?”
Sweating and nervous, Applejack quickly nodded and said,
“I uh...yes, he sure is a good feller, alright! Now would you like on your omelet?”
Raising an eyebrow in confusion towards her sister’s seemingly insincere reply, Apple Bloom answered,
“My favorite, please. You okay, Applejack?”
Sweating some more, Applejack replied.
“I sure am! Just getting ready!”
Turning around and cracking some eggs into a bowl, Applejack thought to herself,
”Now, I’m telling lies to my sister! I’m dishonest on top of being-”
An image of Konrad appeared in the bowl of eggs, and the image replied,
Everypony looked at Applejack’s sudden outburst as the mare turned around and said,
“Uuhhh....there was a fly. I’ll just get rid of this and make a new batch!”
“Okay...” said Apple Bloom in confusion.
“Good one, my youngin! One small dirty fly ruins the whole batch!” replied Granny Smith.
“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh while looking at Applejack with concern.
Apple Bloom shrugged and talked about how Konrad stopped the two Blood Hooves on the bridge. Applejack cracked more eggs on the bowl and began to mix them before looking at her reflection in a nearby jar.
”Oh, Nellie! What am I doing?!”
Suddenly, Konrad’s image appeared on the jar, making Applejack look in fear.
”Did it feel good? Did it feel good to kill me? The last of my people! Oh, I’ll bet it was! I only saved your sister, you know.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!” said Applejack.
”Yes, you did; you couldn’t wait to tie me up with your rope! But no, you had to one-up that, didn’t you!”
“No, no, no! I didn’t-I’m sorry!”
“Uhh...Granny Smith, what’s Applejack doing?”
“I don’t know, sweetie, but let me take care of this.”
The elderly mare began to slowly make her way toward her granddaughter while Applejack continued to struggle.
”Go on, tell her how you killed me. Unless you want to keep being a liar.”
“No, I’m not! No, I’m not! Please stop!”
”MURDERER! HUMAN HATER! GONE! ALL OF US! DUST IN THE WIND!”
“Applejack? Okay?” asked Granny Smith.
“NOOOO!!!” shouted Applejack.
Picking up the empty jar, Applejack threw it across the room, impacting the wall, before running over to Apple Bloom and hugging her.
“I’m sorry, Apple Bloom! I didn’t mean it! It was an accident!”
“Mean what?! What the hay are you talking about?”
Taking a deep breath, Applejack sat down and told Apple Bloom what had happened to Konrad. The look of pain and sadness on Apple Bloom’s face was the most painful sight she had ever witnessed. When she was done telling her, Applejack attempted to apologize once more before being interrupted.
“Apple Bloom, I’m very-”
“I HATE YOU! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HURT MY BEST HUMAN FRIEND!” screamed Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom galloped up to her room and slammed the door shut without wasting another moment. Applejack collapsed and cried, burying her face in her hooves. Granny Smith had a look of sadness on her face and said,
“Give the youngin’ some space there, deary. Why don’t you relax and let me cook? Big Macintosh, help your sister to the couch. Breakfast will be ready soon.”
“Eeyup.”
Applejack was soon picked up by her big brother and laid on the couch, continuing to cry.
Apple Bloom was in tears and continued to cry on her bed. Last night was the worst she had ever experienced, almost dying alone and afraid. But the last human showed up and saved her, giving her hope and happiness. She felt safe in his arms, and nothing could ever hurt her when she was with him. Taking off the new rag bow Konrad gave her, Apple Bloom looked at it as she remembered the moment he gave it to her.
”Apple Bloom! There’s something wrong with you!”
”What?! What’s wrong? Am I turning into one of them!? Ah, don’t wanna die!”
”Nope, not that! Something worse! Dun dun dun!”
Taking her mane ribbon off, Konrad held it and pointed at it with his other finger. It was filthy, ripped, and unusable. Konrad then waved his index finger back and forth, saying,
”No Bueno...but I got something better.”
The man took his scarf off his neck and tied it to her mane, forming a makeshift bow.
”Ta-da! Now you’re ready to kick some plot like me! Want to be my partner?”
Giggling with happiness, Apple Bloom replied,
”I sure do! I wanna stop those Blood Hoof plot heads!”
Konrad laughed before holding his fist up to give her a brohoof, which Applebloom eagerly returned.
”BOOM!
”Now, what’s what I’m talking about!”
Looking at the green bandana, Apple Bloom held it to her chest as she cried,
“Konrad! Come back! I need you!”
Putting her face on her pillow, Apple Bloom cried to sleep, wishing Konrad would come to her rescue again.
Lyra Heartstrings rushed through Ponyville like a mad mare with her saddlebags full of everything she needed. She almost ran into several ponies, including Mayor Mare. It was only at the last second that she could dodge the Mayor, and getting on her wrong side was something the unicorn could not afford. She had to enter the contest, and if she angered the town’s leader, she could kiss that prize money goodbye.
”Not to mention show them my AWESOME idea! If I pull my routine off correctly, I could get more ponies to join the Humies! But I can’t do that if I have NO COSTUME! No doubt there will be ponies asking her for last-minute changes; get there first!”
“Sorry! In a rush! Gangway!” shouted Lyra as she passed a few more ponies.
Lyra spotted the three flower sisters, Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily, in front of her chatting away as they blocked the narrow passage to the Carousel Boutique. Lyra found them to be a bunch of gossiping mares who had nothing better to do when they weren’t selling their flowers. Looking for a way around them, she noticed Rarity with her sister Sweetie Belle walking towards the Boutique. As this was her chance to get to Rarity before any other pony else could, Lyra began to gallop to catch her.
Unfortunately, the three sisters continued to block the unicorn’s way.
“Move! I got important business!”
The three mares looked at Lyra, annoyed that their gossip was interrupted.
“Geez, Lyra! What is so important?” said Daisy.
“Yeah, can’t you see we’re busy?” said Roseluck.
“There’s going to be a surprise later! We’re trying to figure out what it is.”
Looking around the sisters, Lura could see that Rarity had reached her home, letting her sister go in first. Impatience taking hold, Lyra moved her legs up and down like an eager filly and said,
“Yeah yeah, got it! Surprise later. Can you please me move now?”
As the sister got offended, Daisy asked,
“What is the matter with you?”
“Got to go to the little filly’s room?” asked Roseluck.
“Or maybe Rarity’s room,” said Lily with a snicker.
The other two sister’s noticed that Lyra had spotted Rarity in the background and turned to grin at the Unicorn mare.
“So it IS true! Lyra’s a fillyfooler,” said Lily
“Haha! Won’t Bon Bon have a fit when she finds out.” laughed Roseluck.
“Makes sense she’s never had a stallion friend,” added Daisy.
Lyra stopped jumping her legs in place and froze. The insinuation she was a fillyfooler got her very mad. The temptation to beat down the mares in front of her was calling her.
”I could beat every one of you gossiping busy ponies right now, but...I must have that costume! For Humanity!”
As the look of a scowl on her face grew, the gossiping mares started to back away in fear. Lyra cracked her neck and took a fighting stance. With sweat starting to form on the mares, Lyra growled,
“I’m not a fillyfooler...I LOVE MEN! And soon it will rain with them! And I’ll have my man one day! You’ll see!”
The mare’s looked at each other with confusion before busting out laughing. They couldn’t believe that Lyra was still going on about her Human obsession. Lyra got even more furious, but her anger was replaced with horror as she saw Rarity bring out a sign that said the world in big bold Red letters " CLOSED “.
“NOOO!” shouted Lyra as she galloped at her top speed.
The galloping unicorn pushed the three sisters out of the way, falling on their sides or plots.
Lyra could hear the words “crazy” and “Totally a fillyfooler” but ignored them. She was not either of those things, nor did she care what they thought at the moment. All she wanted was her costume, and nopony would stop her from getting it. As Rarity finished putting the signup, she opened the door and was halfway in before turning around to see the sight of a crazed unicorn lunge at her in midair. Time seemed to slow down as Rarity, as the sign of Lyra, shouted,
“NOOOO!!!”
Rarity’s eyes went wide before being tackled to the floor in the Boutique. Shock and fear took hold of her as Lyra pinned her to the ground, babbling nonsense, none of which she could understand. Frantic in getting Rarity to agree to make her a costume, Lyra shouted,
“OhthankcelestiaIgotyouIneedhelpIneedaspecial-”
“GET OFF ME NOW!”
”Oops! Not a good way to get her help.”
“Sorry, Rarity. Here let me help you up.”
Getting off of Rarity and lifting her with her right foreleg, the owner of the Boutique fumed,
“Now, what in Equestria is your problem, Miss Heartstrings!? I’ll have you know that I’ve had the most dreadful night of my life, and I am NOT in the mood for any more drama!”
“I’m so sorry; it’s just that I need your help! You see, I need a costume commission and-”
The fashionista was taken aback at the request from Lyra and shook her head no.
“I’m afraid I cannot accept any commissions at the moment. I’m tired and want nothing more than to sleep the whole day away.”
Lyra was now sad and disappointed that Rarity would not take her request. The inspiration for her Human zombie Killer costume was simply a great and original idea that she had to have for the celebration. Going back as a mummy this year was simply not an option.
“NO!” said Lyra as she got down on her belly while wrapping her forelegs around Rarity. “Please take my commission! I need this costume so badly for the contest tonight.”
Rarity stuck her snout in the air and simply replied, “Hmph! You should have put a request in at an earlier time, my dear. Now, if you excuse me, I require my beauty sleep.”
”I hope this works; see you later, my special Sapphire.”
As Lyra got up, she immediately pulled out her valuable sapphire and held it in her right forehoof. The light from the still early sun came through the window and hit the gem at the right angle, reflecting and scattering the light around the room. Rarity took notice of the beautiful, spectacular gem before her and was immediately entranced by its beauty.
“I’ll give you this for your troubles. It’s pretty valuable, and umm.....sapphire-ish?”
”Good one, Lyra, make up some goofy words, why don’t you?”
“Sapphire...mmm....aaaagggghh” replied Rarity with a bit of drool coming out the side of her mouth.
Raising an eyebrow in confusion and disgust, Lyra thought,
”Okay, now that’s just weird. Is she going to eat it or something?”
The fashionista attempted to reach for the gem slowly, but Lyra would have none of that, not without her costume.
“Uh, Rarity?”
“Yeessssss?” replied Rarity, entranced by the sapphire still.
“I said it CAN be yours, but I need my costume...umm, Rarity?” asked Lyra.
Rarity was still entranced by the gem and tried to swipe for it as Lyra pulled it away.
“HEY! Rarity, snap out of it!”
Lyra slapped Rarity and immediately noticed that she was coherent once more. The mare shook her head and asked,
“Wha-I...Oh, I’m so sorry, my dear, that gem is simply marvelous! It’s a deal.”
The mares shook their hooves, making the deal final before Lyra jumped victoriously in the air, shouting,
“YEAH! WOOHOO!!!”
“Shhh! My little sister is trying to sleep! Don’t wake her up, darling.”
Lyra blushed and apologized,
“Sorry, I really want this costume.”
“I can tell, but I require immediate payment since this is the last-minute change. I am missing my beauty sleep; after all, a mare must simply be at her peak.”
Rarity adjusted her mane, which appeared very ragged and unkempt, and Lyra swore she could see a small twig in there as well. Lyra could only make a fake smile and nodded in agreement.
”Peak...right. Did she go galloping all over Everfree Forest or something?”
“Yeah...anyway, here’s the gem.”
Rarity happily took the gem as Lyra hoofed it to her and began to speak to it,
“Oh hello, my precious, aren’t we going to be best friends.”
”Okay, she is going crazy, but whatever, as long as she’ll give me my costume, I don’t care.”
“Miss Heartstrings, what costume would you like? I could make you an absolutely wonderful-”
”Oh great, she’s going to ask me if I’d like a princess-ey costume. Bleugh! What am I? A little filly?”
“Fantasy Princess costume that’s very popular-”
”Called it.”
“Actually, I something a bit more unconventional. A unique design of my own.”
Rarity walked to a small jewelry chest nearby, intent on keeping her newfound treasure safe.
“Oh, a pity I would have made you something exceptional that simply would have wowed the stallions.”
“Yeah....” replied Lyra, remembering what Bon Bon said with a blush. “Some other time, maybe for the Gala.”
“Very well, what is it then?” replied Rarity with a smile as she put the gem in the chest. “Is it a Ninja?”
“Nope!”
“Hmmm...a vampire mistress?”
”Went totally in the other direction with that one.”
“Nope, not even close.”
Rarity turned us as she closed the chest with her magic and frowned before saying with a deadpan voice.
“It is a zombie?”
Lyra giggled before saying,
“No, but kinda close, it’s a...”
Using magic to open her saddlebag, Lyra pulled out her expertly done sketch and levitated it over to Rarity. The golden magic hue was drowned out by Rarity’s blue hue, bringing the drawing closer to her. Rarity’s eyes went wide as her jaw dropped while Lyra smiled excitedly. A look of horror began to form on her face as Lyra thought,
”Woah! My idea must be that cool is it’s scaring her like that! I’m so going to win this costume contest for sure!”
“It’s...it’s a...” asked Rarity, who began to shake.
“A HUMAN ZOMBIE KILLER! Oh yeah! So what do you think? Can you do it?”
Suddenly, the sketch fell to the floor as Rarity lost her magical grasp before dramatically fainting. Lyra was left speechless for a few moments as the Boutique filled with awkward silence. Lyra squealed with glee, thinking,
”I’m going to win, I’m going to win! Humans for everypony! Or just me! That works too.”
Waking Rarity up, Lyra asked once more if she could do it. The fashionista didn’t say anything other than,
“Leave. I have work to do. It should be done in three hours.”
Not wanting to get in her way, Lyra happily trotted out the door making her way back home as she ignored the glares of the three sisters still gossiping.
”I’ll show them tonight; my costume will blow all their minds away! And then I’ll talk about humans and perform my song and dance on my hind legs and then...BOOM! Helloooo bits!”
Little did Lyra know that another one up her, blowing the minds of everypony away in both awe and fear.
Pinkie Pie was very depressed as she walked into Sugarcube Corner with her head lowered to the ground. Her attitude was a complete contrast to the Cake Family’s, for there was nothing but smiles and laughter in the shop. Even Pumpkin and Pound Cake were making the cutest giggles, something that would make Pinkie Pie happy anytime. But today was not a good day as guilt and sadness plagued her like an incurable illness.
“Oh, Pinkie dear! Could you help bring the Moon cake out and make some cupcakes for us?”
“Oh...okay, I’ll get right on that now, Mrs. Cake.”
Both Mr. And Mrs. Cake looked at each other with worry on their faces. This was not the Pinkie Pie they know who was always happy and excited for parties and baking cupcakes.
“Uh, Pinkie Pie? Are you alright?”
Looking back at the cakes before walking into the kitchen, Pinkie gave a weak smile.
“Oh, I’m fine, just...well, never mind. I’m going to be in the kitchen for a bit.”
As the doors to the kitchens closed, Mr. And Mrs. Cake were left speechless as none of them had ever witnessed this type of behavior from Pinkie Pie. In the Kitchen, Pinkie Pie began to make a batch of cupcakes by stirring a fresh batch. Even though she hadn’t gotten to talk to and know him, she felt that there was something special about him regardless of his different appearance.
”Good Job, Pinkie Pie, you killed a Human. A good guy who was Apple Bloom and Princess Luna’s friend. He could have been your friend if you weren’t such an evil mare!”
For the next few hours, Pinkie Pie made some of the most exciting cupcakes that fit a more gory theme since it was all she could think about. She called the first batch Blood Cups as the cupcake was red and covered in a unique jelly mix with frosting to mimic the appearance of flesh and blood. Various colored cotton candy was used to simulate a pony’s coat, with cyan-colored cotton candy used on most of them. They truly reflected Pinkie Pie’s attitude as she saw herself as a murderer.
Pinkie Pie finally finished sighing throughout the whole day of mixing, baking, and preparing the treats. Taking all the cupcakes out to the table in the main room, she set the rainbow-colored cupcakes in the center with the cyan ones in the surrounding area. Along with the Moon Cake, it’s the glorious image of Princess Luna’s cutie mark; the deserts of Sugarcube Corner were ready for the town to indulge in later in the night. With no more chores to do and the Cakes getting prepared and putting their costumes on, Pinkie Pie decided to head upstairs to get a small nap before the celebration began a few hours from now.
As she made her way to her bed, a feeling began to creep up on her. With Gummy watching her with his bulbous purple eyes, Pinkie Pie’s tail began to twitch,
“Twitchy tail..”
As her tail twitched, Pinkie Pie’s ears began to flap.
“Flapping ears...”
And with a sudden urge in her legs, Pinkie Pie did a back flip three times in quick succession.
“Backflips...”
Pinkie Pie froze at the implications of her Pinkie Sense. The last time she felt this was yesterday evening before the zombie ponies’ incident. Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened as she gasped before slowly smiling her biggest smile. Her coat was now the bright color it usually was, and her man and tail were now the poofy styles it usually was. Pinkie Pie jumped around the whole room like a bouncy ball, cheering,
“He’s alive! He’s alive! Coming to Ponyville! I’m not a murderer! WEEEEEE!!! WOOHOO!”
Pinkie Pie ran over to Gummy, holding him up to her face as she stared at her blankly.
“Gummy! He’s alive! He’s coming here! Isn’t that exciting?
The pet Alligator stared blankly before blinking his eyes. This response elicited a happy hug from Pinkie Pie before setting him down. Pinkie Pie did a few cartwheels and bounces before realizing something.
“I need a nap,” said Pinkie Pie.
Laying in her bed, Pinkie Pie fell quickly fell asleep with a smile on her face. She knew that when she woke up, it would be only a matter of time before she met the Last Human again.
Discord was now depressed in his stone prison and lay on a couch eating junk food. At first, it was a bag of popcorn; now, it was a tub of ice cream. As he was halfway through the tub, Discord moaned in boredom and pity for himself, wishing the Human was alive once more.
”Oh, look at what I’ve become! I’m like a mare having a self-esteem issue! I used to be the Master of Chaos and Deception! Now I’m a worthless loser! NOM NOM NOM!”
He was so depressed that trolling the King and Queen wasn’t even something that would make him feel better. To do that, he had to be at his best chaotic peak, and the loss of a potential apprentice was something that hit him very hard. Discord stopped moaning in pity, realizing what he was doing.
”I’m mourning for someone...I’ve never done that before. Why am I doing this? It’s like I want a...”
Discord shivered at the word that popped into his mind.
”Friend.”
Disgusted with himself, Discord threw the ice cream on the floor beside his imaginary couch. He looked into an imaginary mirror and saw various ice cream stains with loose popcorn fragments littering his body. He was a disgusting slob who was reduced to pity and failure. Snapping with his paw, the mess and the couch were gone. The Lord of Chaos was pacing around, thinking about the situation’s implications.
”A friend? A FRIEND?! The Lord of Chaos does not want or need friends! He wants power! He wants to troll! He wants the society of boring normies to melt away!”
With a snap of his fingers, Discord stood on a pedestal marked number 1 while the images of ponies wearing dunce hats wandered around like simple herd animals below. Discord shouted,
”I am Chaos, hear me roar! I don’t need friends, and as Hexagon as my witness, I will never act pathetic ever again!”
Confetti rained down as a stallion in a tuxedo hooved Discord, who too was in a Tuxedo of his own, a golden award modeled after him. It was the same laughing pose from when he was first petrified a thousand years ago, a rather good pose, in his opinion. Taking the award with his claw, he bowed and blew kisses to the crowd of idiot ponies hoof stomping below, saying,
”Aww! You really love me! Muwah! Muwah!”
He froze the celebration with a paw snap and listened for something. When he realized it was, a grin came to his face. Another snap later, the crowd, pedestal, and the ponies disappeared, leaving the Lord of Chaos still holding the award in his claw. Realizing that he indeed heard correctly, Discord cheered,
”YES! He’s alive! Back to plan A! Oh yeah! Don’t worry, Woona, your Knight is coming to rescue your heart...and soon crush it after I get a hold of him!”
Knowing how the Night Princess was run by the archaic and old ways, Discord hatched a plan. He would entertain himself by meddling with her love for the human. Discord knew this because Chaos reverberated through the night, and he was always driven to it. He wasn’t a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination, but he could feel a chaotic disturbance. Snapping his paw, the Chaotic Lord laid down on his couch and burst a new tub of ice cream into existence.
”This is the last time I do this.”
And enjoyed the ice cream he did as he waited and listened for the chaotic echoes, hoping to hear the Human once more.
”Mmm! Nom Nom Nom.”
Rainbow Dash woke up from sleeping the entire day off and stretched her back. After getting out of bed, she walked to her mirror to look at her black eye. Sure enough, it was still there, angering the mare.
”Bucking Human! I wish you were alive so I could get even with you! Now I can’t let Scootaloo see me like this! She’ll think I’m uncool and can’t hold my own! Now I’ll lose my biggest fan!”
“Aaauugghh! Humans...what’s so great about them anyway?”
Remembering his weapon from her dream and seeing it real life made her shiver. She remembered seeing them when they found Konrad up close. While she considered it good that he was on their side, she hated that he kicked more plot and was cooler than her. While she remembered her lesson for letting others shine months ago, she didn’t like that Scootaloo paid more attention to Mare-do-Well than her. She considered Scootaloo her little sister despite that not being the case.
Her parents never had any more foals due to health concerns for her mother, but Rainbow Dash wished that she had siblings, colt or filly. Rainbow Dash looked at the mirror and remembered the event leading up to it. She remembered laughing at the Ghost Mare named Ruby for not being able to have foals. She remembered the look of sadness on her face and replaced it with the image of her mother. She remembered seeing her mother cry like that when they learned of the news that she was unable to have any more foals.
”Dang...I really was a huge plothole that night.”
At the time, Dash didn’t understand what her parents and doctor were talking about, only the doctor giving her a lollipop for being a good filly. When they got home, Dash had asked why mommy was crying, but all her father said was, “No cool brother or sister for you.” Now feeling guilty about what she said, Rainbow Dash said to herself,
“I deserved getting hit...but I don’t like him still! And if he does anything...I’ll show him the karate skills I learned from my Japaneighs instructor!”
Looking at the mirror, she realized she had no makeup to cover it up. She hardly ever carried it; seeing how it was not her style, Rainbow Dash decided to wear her Shadow Bolt costume from last year. Scootaloo had gotten one made for herself, making Rainbow Dash smile when she heard that from the filly. They would be an excellent team, scaring the plots off of everypony.
”Wish that Human was here; I would have loved to get back at him with a good prank. Well, it’s almost time, gotta get ready.”
Rainbow Dash took a quick shower and ate some leftovers from yesterday. Once that was done, she put her costume on. Satisfied that she looked good in her outfit, Rainbow Dash walked out the front door and made her way down to Ponyville. She was unaware that a rematch would soon be in her future.
When Princess Luna woke up, she consulted with Doctor Stable more before being released. After ensuring the entire hospital staff understood the meaning of confidentiality, the Princess of the Night stepped into her carriage piloted by her Loyal Night Sentinels. Princess Luna ordered them to the local spa and observed the ponies below preparing decorations for the town. When the ponies spotted her flying overhead, their speed seemed to increase. While she was pleased they no longer fled from her, she was disappointed they still seemed to fear her in some manner.
”I guess it shall be long before I earn the same praise as my sister.”
Sighing, Princess Luna looked at the spa coming into view. Refreshing herself and preparing her image would do her good. It would also give her time to relax before appearing to her subjects later in the night.
”I must get my mind off of Konrad. He may be gone, but I cannot let my sadness hold sway over me. I still have Apple Bloom and young Pipsqueak to see later.”
Remembering her favorite admirers, Princess Luna smiled to herself. She knew the night would be a better one. If she kept her composure, Princess Luna would earn the love and admiration of her pony subjects. However, she required a small indulgence at the local spa. Once the carriage landed, several ponies nearby worked hard to decorate their respective houses and shops. Those that were close enough bowed down with nervous smiles on their faces.
While the town warmed up a bit at the end of last year’s celebration, the memories of Princess Luna’s Royal Canterlot voice and anger remained in their memories. Annoyed at the ponies’ display of fear, Princess Luna remembered some advice her sister had given a few months ago.
”If you are frustrated when they cower, simply smile and wave. You’ll be surprised at how effective it can calm our subjects.”
Following her sister’s advice, Princess Luna smiled and waved to the ponies bowing before her. Noticing their Princess smile, the ponies slowly arose with looks of uncertainty on their faces as Luna observed the decorations behind them. While not yet complete, the decorations were rather impressive, with the construction of the Spider Toss almost complete. Remembering how she enjoyed the game last year, Princess Luna smiled as she praised the ponies.
“Your progress in setting up my favorite game is most pleasing to me! Please continue; I look forward to indulging in the game later tonight.”
After receiving praise from their Princess, the ponies smiled and sighed, relieved that she was not angered. Not wanting to hold up their progress or delay using the spa, Princess Luna waved once before entering the spa leaving the Sentinels to post outside. The spa’s atmosphere was very relaxing as Luna listened to the calming music. Even the smell of the spa was pleasant, with the scent of fresh flowers and something else she could not identify.
Looking over at the counter, Princess Luna noticed a blue mare with a pink mane and tail wearing a sweatband looking at a mail-order catalog of candles.
”My sister said I should indulge myself more often. Perhaps choosing the spa was healthier than a piece of cake.”
“Good Morrow, fair employee of this establishment! We would like to see what services thou provide.”
Despite changing her speech to the modern Equestrian way, old habits were hard to eliminate. She mentally scolded herself for not using the current speaking practice but smiled at the mare who had finally noticed her. The mare’s eyes widened when she identified the customer before her after setting the catalog down. The spa employee pressed a desk bell, summoning another pony. Another mare came around the corner, looking very similar to the mare at the counter, with swapped coat, mane, and tail colors.
Luna suspected the mares might be related as the two stood next to each other. Both mares took a bow before speaking,
“Good morning Princess! I am Aloe, and this is my sister Lotus.”
The mare next to her beamed a smile as Luna before Aloe asked,
“How may we help...you today...”
Both of the Spa Sisters immediately noticed the state of Luna’s appearance. They were dismayed at the sight of dirt on Luna’s coat, singed wings, and her mane and tail having a dull shine. Never in their life had they seen a mare in such a messy appearance, especially Royalty.
“Oh no! What happened to you!?”
“This cannot stand at all!”
Rolling her eyes, Princess Luna replied,
“No, it can’t. That is why we are here. And we would prefer not to speakest of the reason...it is most personal.”
“Don’t worry, your highness! We can assure you’re in capable hooves.” beamed Aloe.
“No doubt, but we would rather be in capable hands...” said Luna thinking of Konrad.
“Pardon?” asked Lotus.
Snapping out of thought with a slight blush, Luna asked,
“Sorry, we think of...never mind. May we ask what services thou provide?”
With enthusiasm, Lotus began to recite all the services of their spa.
“Oh! We provide everything, your highness! We provide a wide variety of services including Baths, Saunas, Massages-”
Luna blushed slightly, remembering Konrad’s hands working her when Aloe mentioned the word massage. The feeling was very pleasurable, and she planned to ask him to do it again. To her, it was heaven, and if he were alive and had chosen her, the thought of a more extended and uninhibited massage would be pure bliss for her.
”No doubt it would have led me to “rewarding” him with something special in return...”
“- We also have a new”
“You had us at bath and massage. We would like to receive these services. In fact...we wish to receive it all.”
“Everything, your highness?” asked Lotus.
”To Tartarus with it! I deserve this; I need this. It’s better to unwind and relax before tonight. I must look my best after all...if only he could see me shine tonight...”
Looking at each other with excitement, the Spa sisters lightly hoof stomped in happiness before directing Princess Luna to a nearby room,
“Right this way, your highness, we’ll get the bath ready for you.”
“Oh, and before we forget, we just received a special type of shampoo. It’s nothing but the best, and it will bring out the sparkles of your mane and tail.”
”Bring out my natural sparkles? Nothing but my happiness can do such a thing...again, if only he were here.”
“We would likest that indeed.”
Hoof stomping with happiness, the Spa Sisters, led Princess Luna to the bathroom, eager to help bring out the beauty of a Princess. When the treatment was over, a glamorous Princess of the Night would be ready to shine bright.
Apple Bloom woke up to the sound of knocking on her bedroom door, with the feeling of depression still holding her soul firm in its grasp. Holding back a few tears, Apple Bloom asked,
“Who is it?”
With a slightly muffled reply, Apple Bloom could hear the voice of her grandmother reply,
“It’s me, deary. We need to talk about this bad jam you’re in.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it!” cried Apple Bloom. “I want my friend back!”
Burying her head back in her pillow, Apple Bloom let out more tears of sorrow with the thought of Konrad vanishing in a flash of light. She knew what the Elements of Harmony were supposed to do, but after hearing how Konrad had perished, she couldn’t help but feel anger.
”Why would they hurt him? Elements of Harmony, my patootie!”
Feeling the hoof of her grandmother on her shoulder, Apple Bloom looked up to see the sight of Granny Smith. The elderly mare gave Apple Bloom a sympathetic before saying,
“I’m sorry about your friend deary. He sounds like he was a good feller.”
Sitting upright on her bed, Apple Bloom wiped away a tear, doing her best not to break down in front of her grandmother.
“Yes, he was. He saved my life and made me feel safe. He...”
Looking at the green bandana, the memory of Konrad giving her the gift made her smile briefly before breaking into tears. As Apple Bloom cried, Granny Smith brought her granddaughter closer and hugged her firmly, rocking her back and forth.
“There there, my youngin’. Everything will be fine.”
“N-no, it won’t! He was going to play games with me and share candy later. Now I can’t do that with him! I want my friend back! It’s all Applejack’s fault.”
“Now listen here, deary; Applejack didn’t mean for any of that to happen. How do you think she feels about all this?”
Sniffing and letting out a few tears, Apple Bloom contemplated her grandmother’s question.
“Not good, I suppose.”
Pointing a hoof towards the door, Granny Smith continued,
“She’s crying her heart out as we speak. Your sister was afraid for you and thought he was the one who hurt you.”
Holding a hoof to Apple Bloom’s mouth, cutting off her impending interruption, Granny Smith continued,
“I know what you’re going to say; he didn’t do that to you, but Applejack didn’t know. What happened was an accident, Apple Bloom. Your sister loves you very much. You have a right to be mad, but please don’t hate her. We’re a family, and we shouldn’t lose each other. Losing your parents was already too much for us, especially Applejack.”
While Apple Bloom was too young to remember her parents, Applejack and Big Macintosh were old enough to remember. Granny Smith closed her eyes, remembering their parents, doing her best to hold back a tear but failing to do so.
“Please forgive your sister; she didn’t mean to hurt your friend. How would you feel if the same thing happened but the other way around?”
Contemplating her question, Apple Bloom nodded and replied,
“I would be sad Applejack wouldn’t love me anymore.”
“Now you understand my youngin?”
Wiping a few tears away from her face, Apple Bloom nodded. Hugging Granny Smith, Apple Bloom got up from her bed and headed towards the doorway.
“I think I’ll talk to Applejack now. I don’t wanna lose anypony else, especially my family.”
As Apple Bloom made her way downstairs with the intent of comforting her sister, Granny Smith looked at the dirty military bandana left on the bed. Picking it up with her hoof, the elderly mare gave it a once over before saying,
“Thank you for saving my granddaughter. My family will always be grateful for you, and...oh dear! This needs a good cleaning.”
Intent on preserving the memory of Apple Bloom’s human savior, Granny Smith threw the dirty cloth on her back and headed downstairs to clean it.
Mayor Mare had a busy day indeed overseeing the preparations for Nightmare Night. The town’s elected leader had just concluded her unexpected meeting with Princess Celestia regarding their visit and the stationing of the Guards around town. While most of them had left earlier in the day, roughly two dozen remained, with one half belonging to Princess Celestia and the other half Princess Luna. The Mayor had received a rather interesting rundown of last night’s events, giving her a severe case of the chills.
While it was comforting to know that the undead threat had been dealt with, the fact that such creatures existed in the first place was unsettling. The Guards’ purpose was to provide security if a surviving Blood Hoof sought revenge upon the town. With the powerful Princesses, the Elements of Harmony bearers, and the Royal Guard in the city, the Mayor sighed in relief. Ponyville would be safe from any threat, and the Mayor could enjoy the night’s celebration. Clearing her desk of the finished paperwork, the mare noticed something on the wall.
It was the contestant registration sheet for the costume contest.
“Ah, just one more thing to copy, file, and prepare for later. I wonder who has signed up...”
Walking over to the sheet, the mare reached for it before the door suddenly opened, revealing a panicking Lyra Heartstrings,
“Did I miss it?! Is it too late to sign up?!”
”Oh dear, Miss Heartstrings, your tardiness never ceases to amaze me.!”
Sighing, Mayor Mare answered,
“I was just about to finalize and close the sign-up sheet Miss Heartstrings. Please add your name; I’d like to leave and prepare my costume.”
Standing on her hindlegs, Lyra clumsily walked over to the sheet with a beaming smile. Mayor Mare looked at the Mint Unicorn with confusion on her face, unable to wonder if she was walking in such a manner.
“What is the name of Equestria are you doing, Miss Heartstrings?”
Balancing herself with her forelegs, Lyra used her magic to lift a quill nearby. After breathing a sigh of relief, Lyra turned to the Mayor and answered,
“Oh, nothing, just getting ready for my act, that’s all.”
”Oh, she will try woo-ing the crowd with something more than her costume to win the contest. Why does everypony think such a thing will work?”
“Miss Heartstrings, this is a costume contest, not a talent show. You can’t use music or anything else to sway the audience to vote for you.”
“But it’s crucial that I do! Everypony won’t understand unless I explain and give them a little something extra!
Rolling her eyes, the Mayor wasn’t surprised by the mint unicorn’s actions. Lyra had a tendency and reputation in town for being a bit obsessive with her creative works of music. Whether it was her music or art, she was eager to show almost everypony how great it was. While some of her works were entertaining and considered attractive, not everypony responded with praise or interest. When Lyra noticed this, she often took it as a personal offense or perceived them as “haters.”
”Some ponies cannot handle criticism, I suppose.”
“Miss Heartstrings, if I allowed such an act, everypony will do the same, and the contest will drag on longer than it should. I would also be accused of giving you an unfair advantage. You are not the only pony that wants the prize money. And if you need such an act to explain your costume, it probably isn’t a good one.”
”What type of costume could it possibly be that she needs an act for it? I have a bad feeling about this.”
The mint unicorn grabbed the Mayor and began to shake her about dramatically, pleading with all her heart.
“PLEASE! It’s going to be EPIC!”
“But-”
“EPIC!”
”She’s a mad mare! I got to get out of here!”
“Fine, just stop shaking me!”
Letting the Mayor free, Lyra beamed happily while jumping up and down, similar to Pinkie Pie going about the town as she usually did. With a rumble from her stomach and a clock nearby chiming for closing time, Mayor Mare took the opportunity to shove the appeased unicorn out of her office.
“Out Miss Heartstrings! Don’t be late! If you are, I will disqualify you!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world! Say, did you know that humans-”
”Oh no, not her latest craze again!”
SLAM!
Closing the door and sighing in relief, the Mayor began to walk over to the registration sheet on the wall while hearing a muffled voice from the other side of the door.
“Hater.”
Rolling her eyes, the Mayor pulled the registration sheet down and finalized the list for the event. Satisfied that there was nothing else left to do, the Mayor took her copy of the list and closed the office for the day. Relieved to be done with work, the Mayor made her way home, eager to eat dinner and put on her favorite costume. The Mayor giggled, thinking about what ridiculous costume Lyra would wear.
”Dressed as a human? I’d like to see her pull that one off.”
The celebration was underway as many ponies enjoyed the festivities of games and candy. Princess Luna walked around the town, ensuring everypony was enjoying themselves. And while many bowed and invited her to play games with them, Princess Luna still felt empty. The loss of Konrad took an emotional toll on her, preventing her from finding fulfillment in the celebration.
”I just don’t feel happy. I wish he was here.”
Walking by the Library and residence of Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna hoped that her sister’s protege’ wouldn’t come out and talk to her. While it was understandable they didn’t wish to harm Konrad, she still couldn’t help resentment toward her and her friends. To her relief, nopony came out, and with further observation, it appeared the Library was empty.
”Good. I do not wish to speak to them. They must already be out and about the town.”
Suddenly, a flash of lightning and a thunderous roar came from a block away. Cries of ponies were heard, causing Princess Luna to avert her attention to the disturbance. Looking at the sky, a small but rogue dark cloud was being scurried away from the crime scene by nopony other than Rainbow Dash. On top of the cloud was another pony Princess Luna could not recognize other than being a filly. Both were wearing the costumes of the Shadow Bolts, a fictional flight team she had created when Nightmare Moon held influence over her.
”So the Element of Loyalty has a small partner in crime this year. One would think she would use a new trick, yet, everypony still falls for it. I’ll deal them a prank of my own later.”
As Princess Luna continued forward, she noticed a few ponies playing the Spider Toss game. Several young and mature ponies failed, making Princess Luna smile.
”I’ll show them how to toss a spider!”
Ponies noticed her presence as she walked up to the stand and bowed. Wanting to put everypony at ease, Princess Luna addressed the herd before her,
“Relax, my dear subjects, we wish to join the festivities! May we have a turn, if you don’t mind?”
A little filly dressed as a ladybug gave Princess Luna a fake spider, eager to see her attempt at the toss. Looking at the goal, Luna could see why so many ponies were missing. It was too far away.
”It would seem that they misjudged the distance in their panic from this morning. No matter, it shouldn’t be too hard to correct.”
“Come close young one, watch how I toss it.”
The cute filly in the ladybug costume obeyed her command and watched as Princess Luna tossed the spider in the air. Arching through the air, the spider met its mark in the center of the artificial web.
“Huzzah! Right on the mark!”
“Woohoo!” cheered the little filly.
“Now you try. Remember how I threw it?”
“Yes, Princess Luna.”
Taking a spider, the filly threw it in the air towards the spider’s nest. Princess Luna’s heart sank as she could tell the filly’s toss would be too short. Using her magic secretly, Princess Luna corrected the spider’s pathway, and with her years of skill and finesse using magic, the spider landed right in the center of the web.
“Yea! I made it! Woohoo!”
Several ponies cheered, and hoof stomped at the scene before them. Smiling at her ponies, Princess Luna couldn’t help but think about the distance of the web.
”This web is too far away. I refuse to let any of my subjects be disappointed any further. Time for a distraction.”
Subtly using her magic again, Princess Luna cast a spell on a nearby shadow of a mare in a mummy costume. The shadow began to rise out of place, formed a set of large, sharp teeth, and grabbed the mare’s costume. The mare took notice of the frightening but harmless illusion before her; she screamed exceptionally loud, catching the attention of everypony around her. The web was enveloped in her blue magic hue and brought closer to where they stood.
Before everypony could cause a riot like last year, Princess Luna cast a simple magic beam at the illusion, dissipating it and returning a normal shadow to the mare in the mummy costume. With everypony still in shock, Princess Luna stomped her hoof on the ground and said,
“Nothing shall ever harm my subjects! EVER!”
Realizing that she yelled, Luna expected everypony to cower in fear or run away from her.
”No! Now they’ll run away...please don’t-”
“WOOHOO!!! YEA!!!!” cheered everypony.
“You saved my mommy! Thank you, Princess Luna! You’re my favorite Princess!”
The little filly dressed as a ladybug gave Princess Luna a hug before running over to her mother, asking her to play the spider toss game. Luna stood there as the ponies went back to playing the game, leaving her deep in thoughts.
”They didn’t flee when I yelled...she thinks I’m her favorite Princess...Oh, this is most wonderful!”
A smile crept on her face as Princess Luna walked away to see the rest of the town celebrating Nightmare Night. With a new feeling of happiness, Luna continued to observe the celebration. Most ponies wore the same costumes from last year, with a few trying different outfits. One pony came up to her dressed as a clown, and Princess Luna immediately recognized who it was.
“Madam Mayor, it is a pleasure to see you again. I take it you love your costume very much.”
”It’s a ridiculous costume. Mother loved clowns, and so did Tia; father and I never could understand why.”
After bowing to Princess Luna, Mayor Mare adjusted her clown wig, looking more ridiculous.
“Why, thank you, your Highness! I very much do! Clowns are so much fun.”
”I highly disagree. Clowns are just plain....odd.”
Forcing a smile, Princess Luna asked,
“Indeed...Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Oh! Pardon me, but there is something you can do! The Cake Family of Sugarcube Corner have baked a magnificent cake in your honor, and they would like you to be the first pony to cut the cake.”
”A cake in my honor? Tia will likely be the first in line, and the others will be there too. I should complete this task with haste.”
“Very well...is there anything else?”
“We would like you to commence the costume contest after that. And when everypony has voted on their favorite costumes, the winner will receive one thousand bits, presented by you.”
Raising an eyebrow, Princess Luna said,
“One thousand bits? That’s quite the prize indeed.”
“Yes, it is, and it would be a perfect spot to end the Celebration.”
“Indeed it would.”
”I wonder how Applebloom is faring? We have a special prank of our own to pull.”
Looking around, Princess Luna could not find Applebloom amongst the ponies. Sighing in disappointment, Princess Luna asked,
“When is the event at Sugarcube Corner going to start?”
“Ummm...”
Pulling out a pocket watch from her costume, the mare’s eyes widened upon looking at the time.
“It’s actually now, Your Highness. They must be waiting for you.”
Forcing a smile, Princess Luna,
“Well, I should not be late. If you’ll excuse me, Madam Mare, I have a cake to cut.”
As Mayor Mare bowed again, Luna began to walk her way over Sugarcube Corner. Knowing the likelihood of seeing her sister and at least one element bearer caused her to lose the smile she had gained earlier.
”Hopefully, this cake isn’t terrible. It’s going to be awkward walking in there. Where could Apple Bloom be?”
Apple Bloom was walking along Ponyville, trying to find some of her friends or Princess Luna. The young filly was still depressed at the death of Konrad. While she made it clear to Applejack that she didn’t hate her and understood his death was unintentional, Apple Bloom still couldn’t bring herself to be around her in the meantime. The rest of the day had been very awkward and depressing around the farm. While being excused from her chores was a relief, it made no difference as she moped and mourned her human friend.
Now that Nightmare Night was here, one of her favorite times of the year, she couldn’t find herself enjoying even a few events. Applejack was still in her scarecrow costume from last year, helping the ponies at the apple bobbing station, but with a slight frown on her face. Applebloom didn’t even bother dressing up in her old costume, as her spirit of the celebration was nowhere to be found. At first, she tried the spider toss but couldn’t even land one on the web.
When that didn’t work, Apple Bloom rode the hay ride pulled by her brother. Big Macintosh wasn’t much of a talker, but even he tried to talk to his younger sister to no avail while pulling her. After the ride, she hugged her brother before walking around town. Knowing there was an event at Sugarcube Corner, Apple Bloom made her way toward the bakery.
Unfortunately, she ran into a pair she didn’t want to see.
“So the blank flank didn’t dress up this year?”
“That’s like SO lame!”
Standing in front of Apple Bloom were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, wearing expensive and elaborate Princess outfits. With Apple Bloom’s head focused on the ground, she failed to notice them ahead of her.
”Oh, brother! So unoriginal.”
“What do y’all want?”
“Oh, nothing, just wanted to see what lame costume you’re wearing.”
“Wait, Diamond Tiara! I know what she is!”
Applebloom’s body tensed up, knowing she was about to be insulted by bullies before her. It was bad enough to lose her human best friend but to be insulted while in mourning was another thing. Applebloom felt useless that she couldn’t do anything for Konrad, but if there was one thing she could do, it was teach her bullies a lesson.
”I don’t care anymore; I’m gonna do what I should have done long ago.”
“Oooh! What is she?”
“A loser blank flank that doesn’t even have a friend with her.”
As the two fillies laughed at Apple Bloom’s expense, she prepared to lunge at the bullies before seeing somepony she recognized behind them. It was none other than Princess Luna who gave her a wink. Apple Bloom immediately knew what to do as she smiled with a nod, relaxed her body, and put on a fake tone of sadness.
“Awww...I’m such a loser...I just knew it all along.”
“See Silver Spoon? Even she admits it!”
“Oh, this is just too good!”
“Eeyup, I’m just a loser...that went into Everfree Forest right after school where I belong.”
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at each other with confusion before turning back to Apple Bloom.
“What? You went into Everfree Forest?” asked Diamond Tiara.
Continuing her fake sob story, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but feel excitement and anticipation for the finale.
”I hope they wet themselves.”
“Eeyup...Everfree Forest, where I made some new friends,” replied Applebloom.
Scoffing at Apple Bloom’s claim, Silver Spoon asked,
“Like who would want to be your friend? Other blank flanks?”
“Not just any blank flanks....special blank flanks...”
Apple Bloom began to give them the best evil smile she could muster, signaling Princess Luna she was ready. Apple Bloom’s eyes glowed a dark red as she slowly began to walk toward them. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started backing up as Apple Bloom’s eyes continued to glow.
“They’re nice ponies...and they’ll take you too, just like they did with me.”
“Stay back! Get away!” cried, Diamond Tiara.
“Let’s get out of here!” cried Silver Spoon.
As both turned around, the sight of a zombie Nightmare Moon was staring them in the face.
“They accepted me too! Come little ones, it won’t hurt to join.”
“Much...” finished Apple Bloom.
Both turned around and saw Applebloom had fully transformed into a zombie pony, with a bloody smile on her face. No longer able to contain their fear, both fillies screamed while holding each other before running away, creating a large dust cloud. When the bully classmates were gone, Apple Bloom and Princess Luna turned back to normal, laughing very hard at their successful prank.
“Ahahaha! I don’t think I’ve ever seen them run away like that in my life!”
“A very successful prank indeed. I’m delighted it went well. Much preferable over violence, I would think.”
A blush formed on Apple Bloom’s face at Princess Luna’s mention of violence. The filly knew she was wrong for preparing to hurt her classmates and Princess Luna calling her out on it was embarrassing indeed.
“I...I wasn’t.”
“Going to hurt them? I think we both know that’s what would happen had I not found you in time. I highly suggest you find an alternate solution next time, young Apple Bloom. I know I wish I had long ago...”
“I’m sorry, Princess Luna...I was so mad at what they said when I had no friends. I couldn’t help but think of him.”
“Him? You mean...”
“Uh-huh...Konrad...he’s not coming back.”
”Cause of the stupid Elements of Harmony! I want him back!”
Feeling hoof on her shoulder, Apple Bloom looked up and saw Princess Luna giving her a look of sympathy.
“So you know what happened? Who told you?”
“My sister. I know she didn’t mean it, but I’m so mad! I don’t even want to be around her! He was a good feller, and now he’s gone! He saved us, and that’s what he got? It’s not fair! Just not fair!”
Pouting, Apple Bloom crossed her forelegs, thinking about the loss of Konrad.
”He’s supposed to be here! I was gonna show him to the whole town, and we’d have fun! I want him now!”
Standing back on all fours, Apple Bloom broke from her thoughts, listening to Princess Luna.
“Apple Bloom, I understand how you feel. I miss him very, very much. And as angry as I am at my sister for her blunder, I cannot blame her. This was a tragic accident that neither of them wished to happen.”
“I know,” said Apple Bloom with her ears down. “I just want him back.”
“I’m sure both our sisters wanted us back too. It’s a shame Konrad kept us safe, only to not be with our family and friends tonight. Do you think he would want us to be mad and unhappy, not enjoying ourselves?”
“Umm...I don’t think so.”
“Do you believe he would wish his friend was sad?
“No...I think he’d want me to be happy.”
“I agree...Applebloom, would you do me the honor of escorting me to Sugarcube Corner? I hear there’s a cake they made in honor of me, but I think I will need help cutting and eating it. And our sisters may be there too. We wouldn’t want them to get the first slice now, would we?
”He’d want me to be happy. I know he would.”
“Nope! No siree!”
As Apple Bloom and Princess Luna began to make their way towards Sugarcube Corner, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but notice a bit lying on the ground. Even though she knew it wouldn’t work, she wanted to do it anyway. Picking up the bit with her teeth, Apple Bloom ran over to a well nearby. She closed her eyes and quickly wished before tossing the bit inside.
Giving a small smile, Apple Bloom said,
“Now, I’m ready to get some cake!”
“Made a good wish, did you?”
“Eeyup!”
BOOM!
The loud thunder could be heard from nearby, eliciting a pair of screams that Applebloom recognized. Laughing, Apple Bloom said,
“I know who those two are.”
“As do I. Rainbow Dash and her sidekick are on a prank streak tonight.”
“Sidekick? Oh, that’s Scootaloo. She told me she would hang out with Rainbow Dash yesterday.”
“One of you’re friends, I assume?”
“Yeah, she doesn’t have her cutie mark too.”
Looking back at the pair above the cloud getting ready to terrorize another group, Princess Luna commented,
“Somepony is going to get back at them soon. They’d best take heed. Now, where is this place, Apple Bloom?”
Pointing at Sugarcube Corner, the pair made their way over to the bakery, ready to eat some sweets, as the crack of another sound of a thunderous blast echoed from behind them, followed by screams.
The breeze was gentle to the human walking along the pathway to Ponyville, giving him some relief against his battered and bruised face. With the unmistakable Halloween-like lights gently glowing ahead in the distance, it wasn’t hard for Konrad to know where he was going. Having seen the show many times over gave him a rough idea of where he was.
”Let’s see, I think Sweet Apple Acres is close to the forest. If I keep walking the pathway, I should come across it. Hopefully, I’m on the right pathway.”
The man was fortunate to see not only the town ahead but was relieved the moon was shining bright, allowing him to see where he was going in the dark outskirts of Ponyville. Limping along the way while holding his left arm, the young man looked up at the full moon. He couldn’t resist thinking of Princess Luna as he watched the moon above, noticing the differences in shape and texture compared to earth’s moon.
”I’m glad she’s safe as well as Apple Bloom. I miss them both.”
Suddenly the man stopped as he realized what he was doing. He was going to Ponyville, the Mecca of bronies and pegasisters.
”I’m going to Ponyville...this...this is really unbelievable! But...can I really live with them? Will I be able to relate to them? There’s so much of earth I’m going to miss, and it’s going to be hard for them to understand me on some level. Did I make the right choice? Should I have gone to heaven with Ruby and Mitta? Can I even-”
The loud but unmistakable howl of a Timberwolf could be heard from the forest, shaking the man out of his contemplative worries.
”Fuck this shit! Ponyville, here I come!”
Picking the pace like a mad man, Konrad made his way down the path with the lights of Ponyville getting closer. As sweat continued pouring down his face, the breeze served as a slight relief for the man in pain of his wounds. Remaining on the path, he worried about how he would be received when he made it to town. Would they panic in fear?
Would they arrest him on the spot? What if he ran into those who didn’t receive him well, such as Rainbow Dash?
”I got to find Applebloom or Princess Luna; they’ll back me up. I’m tired of this stupid “Ah! A human!” shit. Can’t believe the mane six and Celestia hate me. This sucks balls.”
After an eternity, Konrad finally noticed a familiar landmark that made him happy beyond belief.
”Oh my God...I’m safe! So this is what the farm looks like....still cartoony looking but cool anyway.”
Standing at the front entrance, Konrad found himself at an impasse, wondering how to approach the occupants of the farm. If he ran into Applejack or, God forbid, Big Macintosh, he’d be screwed. On top of that, trespassing on personal property was a major no-no for any farm folk. He’d be even more trouble with the mane six should he anger Applejack.
He refused to suffer a repeat of the Elements of Harmony blasting him. As much as he hated sneaking, Konrad needed to find Apple Bloom, considering she was his best chance for immediate and long-term survival. Taking a quick look around the farm, he didn’t see anypony or any other living being in the immediate area. Relaxing by taking a deep breath, Konrad slowly passed the entrance onto Sweet Apple Acres.
The front area didn’t offer any concealment except a field of small crops nearby, which wasn’t particularly compatible with his camouflage pattern. Doing his best to be quiet, the man almost made it to the front door, with a heavy emphasis on “almost.” A small but furious growl came from behind as he was about to check the door. His body was frozen as his face turned pale with fear gripping him. Konrad mentally facepalmed himself for overlooking one small detail about the Apple family member he forgot.
”Winona...GOD DAMMIT! I forgot about their dog!”
Slowly turning around, the man found himself staring at the dog with a look of fury on her doggie face. Never before did Konrad think he could be afraid of a small dog, especially one from a girl’s cartoon. Attempting to sidestep from the door, Winona barked at his sudden movement that she deemed hostile. While confident that even in his wounded condition, he could take her out, the consequences of such action would be severe.
His entire situation was like a tight rope, and one small move could cost him his freedom. And even more at risk was his friendship with Apple Bloom, the filly he never wanted to see cry again.
”Shit! I can’t kill her! She’s just defending her loved ones from some weird smelly human! Apple Bloom will hate me if I hurt her, and the ponies will hate me even more!”
After standing there for a few more nerve-racking seconds, an idea popped into his mind.
”If I present myself as non-threatening and let her sniff me, I could get her to calm down and maybe even help me.”
Seeing no alternative, the man slowly knelt down and extended his hand for the dog to sniff. Noticing his slow but seemingly submissive behavior, Winona approached the man with caution sniffing his hand and thoroughly analyzing the scent she smelled. As the dog continued her scent inspection of the man, Konrad turned his head to his shoulder and took a sniff. For the first time since arriving in Equestria, it was his turn to have his face turn green.
”That’s what I smell like?! Holy shit...I need a bath or shower big time! DAYUM!”
Turning his attention back to the dog, Konrad was worried about what would happen if she rejected his attempt to be friendly. More and more sweat poured down his face as he gave a nervous smile to the canine defender of the farm. After sniffing him thoroughly, Winona began to lick his hand and wagged her tail in happiness. A warm and familiar feeling began to swell inside him as Winona smiled at him, recognizing him as a friendly individual.
”D’awww! Right in the feels! Winona is such a cute dog! Phew, that was close!”
The man sat down with his legs crossed and patted them, beckoning the friendly female canine to come closer. Winona was too eager to grant Konrad’s request, who was rewarded with a nice belly rub from his fingers.
“Who’s a good doggie? You’re a good doggie!”
For Winona, this was pure heaven. Never before had she experienced a belly rub from a human’s fingers before. It was a natural feeling to her, and the strange human was now a friend.
“If you knew where Apple Bloom was, I’d rub your belly much longer.”
Raising her head up, Winona got on all fours and pointed her muzzle in a direction to his right.
”Is she telling me where she is? If so, she just earned a belly rub.”
“Apple Bloom? You know where she is?”
“Woof!”
“She over there?”
“Woof, Woof!”
“She didn’t fall in a well, did she?”
Winona simply just gave a blank stare at Konrad. Whether she picked up on his reference or got tired of him calling her message wrong, he couldn’t tell.
”I think I just offended all canines everywhere. Some don’t have a sense of humor in the animal kingdom.”
“Okay, okay, so that way?”
Pointing his finger in the same direction, Winona barked some more before running off. Taking that as his cue to follow, he limped his way over and found Winona barking next to a clothing line. Despite not needing to wear clothes as much as humans, ponies wore them anyway and were required to clean them. On the line was Granny Smith’s neck scarf, a dress that clearly belonged to Applejack, a pair of overalls of Big Macintosh’s size, and a green head bandana. Winona pointed and barked at the bandana, which confused the man even more.
“Uh, that’s not Apple Bloom, sweetie. That’s just my-oh! I get it now.”
”She must have picked up her scent on my hand. No wonder she brought me to this. Looks like giving Applebloom that scarf saved my ass just now.”
“Woof, Woof!”
“Okay, girl, I got the message, belly rub time.”
Despite not bringing him to Apple Bloom, Konrad felt the canine deserved a treat for at least doing what she thought he wanted. Patting his legs as a signal to come to him, Winona did just that and was rewarded with another belly rub.
“Good girl! You’re the best dog in the world!”
As Winona continued to bask in the comforting feeling of Konrad’s fingers, the man began to form a plan for the setback he encountered. It was apparent nopony was home, seeing how they would have come out by now the dog’s barking, and his time here would be further wasted if he continued to wait. Looking at the scarf hanging on the line, Konrad took it and wrapped it around his neck.
”Fuck, it must be Nightmare Night or something. They mentioned it was coming up. Looks like my “Guardian” Angel dropped me back here the night ahead. Which means...”
“Luna’s in Ponyville! And if I’m correct, Apple Bloom is there!”
As the man began to make his way back to the entrance, Winona began to whine that the human was no longer rubbing her belly.
“I promise I’ll come back. Hell, if your owners will let me, I’ll take you for a walk and even play some fetch. How about that?”
“Woof, Woof!” replied Winona in approval, her tail wagging back and forth in happiness.
“Sounds like a plan! You stay here and hold the fort now, you hear?”
“Woof!”
Making his way back to the entrance, Konrad watched the lights glowing from the town ahead. While disappointed that Apple Bloom wasn’t home, he was glad to have made a new friend. Even though that friend was a dog, it was refreshing to not have to run away from a new face. Walking back through the entrance, Konrad looked and smiled at Winona, sitting not far from the door and watching him leave the farm.
”Good dog indeed! Now I’m off to find Apple Bloom and Princess Luna without getting the town freaked out about me. It shouldn’t be hard....should it? I mean, it’s not like I’m looking for Waldo or any shit like that. Both of them should stick out from the crowd.”
As the human continued his way towards Ponyville, he was unaware of the challenge he had undertaken, akin to finding a needle in the haystack.
”Well, ready or not, here I come.”
Sneaking around, bunkering down, and popping a plot squat.
Sugarcube Corner was full of activity as numerous ponies milled about in their various costumes while the Cakes, busy but cheerful, served them treats. Twilight Sparkle, Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor stood next to a wall to avoid the increasing herd of ponies pouring into the store. Fully rested and cleaned up, Shining Armor slowly ate a cupcake, enjoying the different but tasty treat.
“Mmm! This is probably the best cupcake I’ve ever had! I’ve never had a jelly and cotton candy cupcake before,” said Shining Armor.
Using her magic to hover the treat closer to her, Twilight Sparkle ate the treat carefully, doing her best to prevent the jelly from spilling on her costume’s beard.
“Mmhmm! Pinkie Pie always makes the best cupcakes, but I wish she didn’t have to make eating it a huge risk.”
Princess Cadence laughed while observing Twilight eat the cupcake, earning a look of confusion from the unicorn.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Twilight, just take the beard off. It won’t hurt to be out of character for a few seconds to eat a cupcake.”
“But I can manage it! I didn’t plan on making a new costume this year because I wanted somepony to figure out who I am!”
Finishing his cupcake with satisfaction, Shining Armor answered his sister.
“Oh, I know who you are, Twiley.”
With her eyes widening and an excited smile, Twilight asked, “Really? Who am I?”
“A mare whose beard is going to get stained.”
Twilight pointed a hoof at his sister’s cupcake, noticing a glob of jelly falling from her cupcake and landing on her beard. With her face reddening, Twilight huffed in anger and took the beard off with her magic while stowing it away under her cape. Chuckling, Shining Armor walked over to his sister and put a foreleg over her neck.
“It’s okay, sis; I know who you’re supposed to be.”
Looking at her brother with a skeptic look, Twilight asked,
“Oh really? Then who am I dressed as? I doubt you’d know since you played that silly and nerdy game instead of studying history in school. What was that game called anyway? I swear you had more books about it than your school projects.”
“Ogres and Oubliettes, which is NOT a silly and nerdy game!”
After crossing his forelegs with a slight pout, Cadence planted a small peck on his face, causing him to blush with a smile.
“Oh, it’s okay, honey! Nerds are hot, and you won me, so does it really matter?”
With his face red, the unicorn stallion replied sheepishly, “Heh, I guess not. So nerds are hot?”
Winking at her husband before giving him a nuzzle, she replied, “Well, YOU are.”
“Oh, brother! Why can’t you guys be lovey-dovey elsewhere? And I wish somepony would recognize my costume!”
Rolling her eyes at the romantic scene before her, Twilight Sparkle looked around the shop, asking no pony in particular, “Does anypony know unicorn history? Does anypony know who I’m dressed as!?”
“Star Swirl the Bearded, the same as last year,” answered a new voice.
Everypony took notice of Princess Luna walking into the shop, bowing down. With a simple smile and wave by Princess Luna, everypony quickly went back to their business with a few ponies whispering amongst each other in excitement of the Princess cutting the cake. Beside her was Apple Bloom, looking at the ponies dressed in various costumes. Several of her classmates noticed Apple Bloom’s lack of costume and began to whisper amongst themselves why.
Twilight, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadence exchanged nervous looks as the duo walked up. They knew Princess Luna wasn’t beyond displeased with how they handled the situation with the last human and, as such, didn’t want to associate with them in the night. But to them, such a request was almost impossible due to the town’s size, even more so when she actively approached them.
As Princess Luna and Apple Bloom got closer, Shining Armor whispered to his wife, “I thought she didn’t want us to be near her! Why is she approaching us?”
“I don’t know, but be respectful.”
“I can hear both of you,” spoke Princess Luna.
Looking down at the floor, Twilight’s face went beet red from the awkward situation brewing before her. It was as close as she could to burying her head in the sand in hopes of the scene before her not turning into a potential disaster.
“Oh dear, we forgot Luna was going to cut the cake! This is so awkward!” thought Twilight Sparkle.
With a nervous smile, Shining Armor stumbled out a sentence, hoping to recover from being caught whispering by Princess Luna.
“I uh...Good evening Princess Luna! The celebration is really um...”
Narrowing her eyes at the stallion that fought the last human, Princess Luna asked in a cold tone, “Is what Prince Armor? I’d certainly like to know.”
Looking at his wife and sister for help, only to see none was coming, Shining Armor chuckled nervously at Luna’s cold stare. It didn’t take a genius to see the displeasure coming from her.
“Umm… it’s very… good?”
“Good? Well, I’m very pleased to hear that. More so than hearing your little spar with Konrad. At least he won that little fight.”
Princess Cadence glared at Princess Luna, who returned a glare of her own. While two mares locked into an epic glare contest, Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle looked at each other, silently hoping the other would do something. Everypony else was oblivious to the cold war brewing near them as they were busy talking and eating various Nightmare Night-themed treats. Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes upon hearing the news that Shining Armor fought Konrad, who in return rubbed the back of his neck nervously at the filly’s stare.
“Oh no! This is falling apart real fast! Come on, Twilight! Think of something!”
“So uh, Apple Bloom?” asked Twilight.
“Yes, Twilight?” replied Apple Bloom, still staring at her brother.
“Are you having a good Nightmare Night? I noticed you aren’t wearing a costume.”
Turning her glance towards Twilight, Apple Bloom replied with a surprising remark that would sadden her for the whole night.
“Don’t feel like it. I guess. I’m just not in the mood. It ain’t the same when you don’t have your special friend with you.”
All three could feel the sting coming from Apple Bloom’s subtle jab. Even the young filly was laying the blame on them very thick. Guilt washed over Shining Armor and Twilight, causing both siblings to frown at their previous night’s mistakes. Shining Armor felt that he had somehow committed fratricide by failing to disclose the truth about the rescuer of Luna and Apple Bloom to everypony. Twilight thought that she had failed in the worse way possible by being an accomplice to the death of a friendly and endangered being.
Lowering her head in sadness, Twilight Sparkle thought to herself, “The signs were there, and I failed by coming to the wrong conclusion. And as a result, a friend and the very last of a previously mystical race were killed. So much could have been learned from him. Some “apprentice” in the magic of friendship I am.”
“Apple Bloom, I’m very sorry about your friend. I wish I could take all of it back.”
With a saddened expression, Apple Bloom replied, “I know Twilight. I just miss him.”
Breaking from her glaring contest with Cadence, Luna nuzzled Apple Bloom. Looking at Luna, Apple Bloom rubbed her eyes, hoping to prevent herself from sobbing before everypony.
“It will be alright, Apple Bloom. I promise it will be.”
“Oh, please! Will something happen? I can’t take this anymore! I don’t know what to do!”
As if somepony above heard her call, the Cakes, dressed as Raggedy Mane Dolls, brought out a vast and impressive cake from the kitchen.
“We have the Moon Cake everypony!”
Everypony stomped and cheered as the couple brought the cake to the center of the treat table. Hearing the cake’s arrival call, Princess Luna glanced at the cake before addressing Twilight, Shining Armor, and Cadence.
“Well, it would seem I’m needed over at the table. Apple Bloom, care to join me?”
Turning her attention to Luna, the filly smiled and nodded.
“Yes, I would.”
With Luna and Apple Bloom walking away from them, Princess Cadence narrowed her eyes at the Princess of the Night. Shining Armor noticed this and wrapped a foreleg around his wife.
“It’s okay, honey; she’s just upset.”
“I know. But still, she was rubbing it in that you got hurt by him. I don’t want anypony hurting you! Do you know how worried I was when I heard you were injured?!”
Shining Armor whispered into her ear and nuzzled Cadence, “I can only imagine, but it’s fine. It was all a misunderstanding, so don’t let it get to you. Not the first time somepony’s kicked my plot.”
Cadence winked, kissing Shining Armor before whispering back, “Yeah, well, only I can do anything to your plot.”
“Aaagh! I can’t take it anymore! Princess Luna was right! You two are terrible at whispering!”
Shining Armor and Princess Cadence blushed bright red in embarrassment as Twilight walked away from the couple, hoping to find somepony else to talk to. It didn’t take long as the unicorn ran into Applejack dressed as a scarecrow.
“Hi Applejack! Here to get some cake too?”
With a frown on her face, Applejack nodded silently before noticing Apple Bloom standing next to Princess Luna.
“I mostly came to see Apple Bloom, but she still doesn’t want to be near me. Big Macintosh is watching the apple bobbing tank. I was hoping to just spend some time with her.”
With her ears lowered, Twilight gave Applejack a look of sympathy.
“It’s such a tragedy an innocent was lost, especially one that risked his life to help us.”
“How did she find out?”
Looking at Apple Bloom, Applejack took off her scarecrow hat and sat down on her haunches, with Twilight doing the same. Sighing, Applejack replied, “I told her. I was going to tell her after the celebration, but she kept going about how he would join an’ all. The more and more she kept speaking about him, the only thing I could think of was his face. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I told her.”
A single tear escaped the country mare’s eye before falling to the ground. Wiping her face, Applejack found herself in the embrace of Twilight. As the two embraced, Twilight could tell Applejack was on the verge of breaking down, and there was no way she would allow that. At least not in front of anypony.
“It’s okay, Applejack. At least she’s safe and home. She’ll forgive you eventually.”
Letting go of Twilight, Applejack wiped her eyes once more before replying, “I’m not sure. She said she forgave me and understood it was a mistake, but she still doesn’t want to be around me.”
“She probably just needs time to adjust to what happened. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a friend. I’ve never lost anyone important to me like that before.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Ladies and gentle colts! Are you having a fun night so far?”
Turning to the voice of Luna, both mares turned to see the Princess of the night standing next to a rather sizeable blue-colored cake. Next to Princess Luna was Apple Bloom, wearing an apron belonging to the Cake family. The filly had a smile on her face, which gave Applejack some little comfort knowing her sister was safe and at least had some fun. The shop was filled with cheers from ponies, both young and old.
“Could be worse. At least everypony is receiving Luna much better than last year.”
“Excellent, my little ponies! This was a rather great night for me as well. A much better improvement than last year, wouldn’t you agree?”
Several ponies laughed in remembrance of the last year’s celebration which resulted in a grave misunderstanding that made the whole town feel silly. As the laughter died down, Princess Luna continued.
“Yes, I agree as well. Before we continue further, I wish to thank the Cake family for making this my honor. It looks very delectable!”
Several ponies could be seen staring at the marvelous moon cake with drool nearly forming around their mouths. The cake was giant in width and height, almost the same size as the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. The frosting was the same color as Princess Luna’s coat, with the icing trimmings the same sparkling color as her mane and tail. And with a final touch of detail, Luna’s cutie mark was adorned on the top portion of the cake in perfect detail.
Twilight had no idea how the Cakes managed to pull off such a creation, but she could hear it calling to her just like it had to everypony in the room. Mr. And Mrs. Cake looked at each other with a smile of satisfaction before humbly bowing to Princess Luna, satisfied that their hard work was well received.
“Well, what are we waiting for, my little ponies?! Let’s partake in this wonderful cake!”
Everypony in the room cheered and stomped in approval before lining up to have a piece of the moon cake.
“Well, Applejack, care to have some cake? It seems Apple Bloom is going to help serve it.”
Looking at Apple Bloom with a frown, Applejack nodded, and she fell in line with Twilight. Standing on a stool, Apple Bloom began to cut the cake as Princess Luna served the ponies at the front of the line. As each pony began to receive their piece of cake with a bow, a new voice spoke up behind Twilight and Applejack, surprising both of them.
“Is this where the line starts?”
Turning around, both Applejack and Twilight were greeted with the sight of Princess Celestia, who was no longer wearing her battle armor but dressed in her normal regalia. A pair of Royal Guards were posted inside, near the exit. Twilight and Applejack bowed before the Solar Princess, each receiving a nuzzle.
“I take it you’re not enjoying yourselves?”
With their heads lowered, Applejack and Twilight replied somberly, both still depressed at the unfortunate events of the previous night.
“No, your highness. Apple Bloom knows what happened and doesn’t want me to be around her. It’s mighty hard to enjoy myself, knowin’ that..”
Looking ahead to the front of the line, Princess Celestia saw her sister smiling and laughing with the subjects she desired to be admired. And beside her was Apple Bloom, still cutting the large cake and smiling along with Princess Luna. Frowning, Princess Celestia replied, “I understand. Luna still won’t speak to me as well. It seems this Konrad has made quite the impact on them.”
“He certainly did. Apple Bloom wouldn’t stop speaking about him when we left the hospital. I wish I could make it up to her.”
“As do I, Applejack. All I want is to just be near her. It was already difficult for both of us after we lost our parents to Discord.”
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle gasped upon hearing that the same individual responsible for almost ruining their friendship and Equestria was also responsible for making the Royal Sisters’ parents disappear. Twilight Sparkle couldn’t believe that Discord was capable of such a despicable deed, and her disdain for the Draconequus grew tenfold. All three mares slowly moved forward as the line of ponies continued to receive their slice of cake, inching their way closer to Luna and Apple Bloom.
”Discord murdered their parents?! It’s a good thing he’s sealed away forever. I hope he never tastes freedom ever again!”
“Yes, it’s true. We never found a trace of them.”
“Oh, Princess Celestia, I’m so sorry,” Twilight said while giving a look of sympathy to her mentor and leader. Giving her student a quick nuzzle, Princess Celestia replied.
“It’s fine, my faithful student. It was a long time ago, and I’ve shed tears. I wish the events could have turned out differently than they have.”
“I second that. This stallion-”
“Man,” corrected Twilight.
“Oh, right. This man risked his hide for my sister, and anypony that does that is okay in my books.”
“I agree, Applejack. I agree wholeheartedly.”
As the line continued to move the mares, further along, Twilight couldn’t help but remember the human’s name. Since Twilight had come to accept Pinkie Pie’s seemingly superstitious gift known as the “Pinkie Sense,” she began to have a more open mind about things she once considered impossible. Seeing ghosts, zombies, and a human caused Twilight to believe anything to be possible.
The human was nothing like the illustrations in the various books on the myth, now turned fact, of humanity. She would have loved nothing more than to study and learn from him if the previous night’s events were more pleasant.
“So much history! So much advanced technology he had in his possession! We could have learned so much, and what history it would have been in the making! Now he’s gone and any secrets he had too. Perhaps I could study his...what did Luna call it? A truck?”
“Princess Celestia?”
The Solar Princess did not hear her student’s plea for attention as she was focused on the sight of Princess Luna nearing. Noticing her mentor’s attention was placed elsewhere, Twilight Sparkle stood on her hind legs and waved a hoof, effectively getting Celestia’s attention.
“Umm, Princess Celestia? I have a question.”
“I’m sorry, Twilight. What is your question?”
“Is it possible for me to see or study the human artifacts?”
Shaking her head no, Princess Celestia answered, “I’m sorry, but my sister has forbidden any examination of Konrad’s personal effects.”
Unable to fathom a valid reason for Luna’s restrictions on Konrad’s items, Twilight Sparkle’s face began to contort into a look of frustration. The simple fact of having so much to learn and yet being denied the opportunity to study humanity in any way, shape, or form was akin to denying a foal candy. Seeing her student’s frustration, Princess Celestia put a hoof to Twilight’s muzzle, cutting off the inevitable question.
“It’s a personal matter for my sister, and considering all she’s been through, I cannot deny her request. I’m afraid this is not something she will budge on.”
Twilight Sparkle crossed her forelegs and huffed in dissatisfaction with a pout on her face, earning a slight giggle from her mentor.
“I’m sorry, Twilight. Maybe someday she’ll change her mind.”
“I doubt she will forgive me during my lifetime, or at least for a couple of years.”
After much waiting, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Princess Celestia finally made it to the front of the line. Apple Bloom and Princess Luna were silent as all four mares and one filly stood next. Neither could think of a word to say to one another, leaving all five in awkward silence. After a minute of that silence, Apple Bloom cut a piece of the moon cake and placed it gently on a disposable paper plate. Hoofing it to Applejack, Apple Bloom asked, “Want some cake? I cut you a good slice.”
Looking at her sister, Applejack ran over and embraced Apple Bloom in a tight hug. Returning her older sister’s hug, Apple Bloom whispered into her sister’s ear, “I know you didn’t mean it, Applejack. I just miss him, is all.”
Nuzzling Apple Bloom, a single tear escaped Applejack’s eye, trickling down her muzzle.
“Apple Bloom?”
“Yes, Applejack?”
“Do you wanna spend some time together? Just you and me? We can do whatever you’d like.”
Looking at Princess Luna, Apple Bloom asked, “May I go with my sister?”
Giving a smile, Princess Luna winked at the little filly before the apple sisters left Sugarcube Corner, leaving Twilight, Celestia, and herself with the cake.
“Well, would any of you care for a slice?” asked Luna.
“Actually, dear sister, I prefer your company more than anything.”
Looking at the line of ponies behind her sister, Luna replied, “Only if you help me finish serving the cake.”
Smiling, Celestia said, “Deal.”
“And you can’t have any until all of our subjects have been served first.”
With disbelief, Princess Celestia retorted, “Luna, surely you must be jesting. I have waited patiently for a slice.”
With a devious look, Luna cut a slice using her magic and held it up to her sister’s muzzle, effectively teasing her.
“And I thought you were in line to make peace with me. Oh well, I guess you can have this.”
It didn’t take a genius to see what would happen next as Twilight Sparkle suffered a very similar prank at the hooves of her brother. Twilight watched as her mentor was entranced by the slice of cake floating in Luna’s magic, never taking her eyes away from the treat.
“Oh, where are my manners? You’ll need a plate, dear sister.”
As a paper plate floated towards the cake slice, Princess Celestia licked her lips in anticipation of the treat before her. Noticing Luna giving her a wink, Twilight Sparkle backed away from the looming sisterly prank.
“I knew Celestia loved cakes, but I didn’t think she loved it THIS much. Should I intervene? What will Celestia if I don’t do?”
Before Twilight Sparkle could decide, Luna cast the paper plate upwards at the cake, propelling it towards Celestia. The solar Princess didn’t have time to react before it landed on her face, covering everything. Everypony in the room gasped at seeing their most beloved Princess comically covered in cake. On the other hoof, Princess Luna was giggling like a young school filly and pleased that her sister fell for an easy prank.
Before Twilight could worry about her mentor’s possible adverse reaction, Princess Celestia wiped the cake off with her magic, revealing a not-so-pleased princess. Narrowing her eyes at Princess Luna did nothing to stop her giggling but slowly caused everypony else to laugh in the room. No longer being able to keep a straight face, Princess Celestia herself started to giggle. Soon, Twilight found herself laughing at the scene before her, pleased that the royal sisters were beginning to bond.
After wiping the remaining bits of cake off her face, Princess Celestia joined Princess Luna behind the table, ready to help serve the remaining ponies in line. As the laughter in the room died down, the ponies returned to conversing amongst themselves; Luna asked, “Care to have some cake, Twilight Sparkle?”
Smiling, Twilight accepted a slice with a smile as Princess Celestia spoke.
“Twilight, I’m going to be with Luna for a while. Perhaps you would like to spend some time with your brother in the meantime?”
Looking back at her, Twilight noticed Shining Armor was now romantically sharing a cupcake with Cadence. Twilight cringed and answered, “I think I’ll just go check on the rest of my friends. He seems a bit busy at the moment.”
Noticing the married couple in the back, Celestia giggled before nodding to her apprentice. Taking her cake and leaving the royal sisters, Twilight Sparkle made her way towards an open spot and quietly enjoyed the moon cake, wondering how everypony else was doing now that both sets of sisters were bonding.
“I hope everypony else is doing fine. I wonder how Spike is doing?”
The young drake was not at all having the time of his life. After spending almost the entire day cleaning and reorganizing the library, he couldn’t wait to have fun like everypony else. The night fared no better than the day had, for his plan to woo Rarity with his knight outfit failed. He was sure the inspiration from his daydream of rescuing Rarity from Diamond Dogs would work. It only succeeded in capturing the heart of her sister.
“Oh, my knight! Please save me!”
Face palming with his claws; Spike groaned in agony at his companion’s pleas to be “saved.” She had continued the act, bringing him to his breaking point. He couldn’t even enjoy the candy he got without a request to share it as a couple would.
“Sweetie Belle, for the last time! I said no!”
Sweetie Belle, dressed in a very well-designed and exquisite fantasy-like princess costume, gave Spike a pleading look of sadness.
“Oh great! She’s trying to make me feel guilty. Gah! Where’s Rarity?! I was supposed to spend this with Rarity, not Sweetie Belle!”
“Not gonna work, Sweetie Belle.”
“Aww!”
“Good. Maybe she’ll just give up now.”
“You wanna get some cake at Sugarcube Corner then?”
“No, I’d rather play games and eat my candy, but you won’t go away!”
Realizing he wouldn’t be rid of her, Spike resigned to his fate of being Sweetie Belle’s companion for the night. Despite how annoyed she was, they got an extra amount of candy since everypony else thought they were a cute couple. This made him cringe on the inside, but he could at least enjoy the candy later after tonight. As they began to walk towards Sugarcube Corner, a dark blur moving between a pair of houses caught the attention of the young drake.
“Woah! Did you see that?”
As he pointed a claw in the direction of the blur, Sweetie Belle turned around to see. After seeing nothing, she turned around with a confused look.
“Spike, I don’t see anything. What was it?”
“I’m not sure, but it WAS there. It was this...blur of dark green..”
As Spike moved closer to investigate, Sweetie Belle, followed him to the
“Dark green? Could it have been somepony else? There’s still nopony here.”
“Wasn’t in the shape of a pony. It was something, and I saw it come from here. I don’t know what it could-”
Spike’s eyes widened when he saw it again, moving towards another place quickly.
The Carousel Boutique.
“-be… holy guacamole! It’s there! You see it?!”
And see it, Sweetie Belle did. Both saw a tall, dark green shape move strangely and rapidly between bushes and various buildings. The unknown green blur seemed to avoid the street lanterns and other lights as if they were poison, making it impossible to identify it. His eyes widened in horror at the potential danger Rarity was in. Considering what happened last night, Spike didn’t want to take any chances, and there was no way he would let anything ever happen to the mare of his dreams.
He knew he had to get there and help immediately.
“If I stop it, I’ll be her hero!”
The imagination of Spike barging through the door and vanquishing a green blur with comic teeth and red eyes took hold of him, cutting himself away from reality. Spike defeated the monster using a joust with a very vulnerable Rarity ever so grateful rushing to his side. Just as he imagined himself kissing Rarity, the sight of Sweetie Belle popped into his head, snapping him out of his dream.
“Sweetie Belle? "
With her body shaking in fear, Sweetie Belle replied, “Y-yes?”
“It’s heading to your sister’s house! We need to stop it!”
“No! She’s still in there making somepony else’s costume!”
As Spike and Sweetie Belle began to run towards the Carousel Boutique, Sweetie Belle shouted, “Spike, how will we stop it? Shouldn’t we get somepony else to help, like one of the guards?”
“Over my gem collection. Like I’ll let them take the credit for helping her if there is something there!”
“Don’t worry, I got a few moves, like my fire breath!”
Rolling his eyes, Spike blew out an impressive green flame at a small weed, burning it to a crisp as they ran by, effectively ending the filly’s doubts.
“Oh right, well, let’s go!”
The area near the Carousel Boutique wasn’t particularly well lit, and as such, the strange green blurry shape made its way towards the home of Rarity far ahead before both lost sight of it in the darkness around the shop. This caused both Spike and Sweetie Belle to shout in fear, “Rarity!”
The green blur had beaten them to the shop far ahead, sending both into a panic. This served to help them run faster to make up for the distance the blur had beaten them to. After what seemed like an eternity, both Spike and Sweetie Belle finally made it to the Carousel Boutique.
“I think I saw it go inside,” said Spike.
“But I didn’t see it go through the door. Are you sure it went inside? Maybe it went around and elsewhere.”
“You really want to take that chance?!”
Shaking her head, Sweetie Belle replied, “No! Let’s go in!”
After taking a deep breath, Spike replied, “Okay, just stick close to me. If it is in there, you go get help while I stop it, okay?”
“Oh, you’re so brave, Spike!”
“Oh, brother! Give me a break.”
As Spike rolled his eyes, he slowly reached for the door, only for it to suddenly open. Standing tall was a green shape while standing on two legs, laughing maniacally as lighting and thunder cracked into the night.
“AHAHAHAHAHA! THE DEED IS DONE!”
“NOOOOO!!!!” shouted both Sweetie Belle and Spike.
Spike took a deep breath and blew a sizeable green flame towards the being before them. However, it reacted quickly and ducked down to the ground taking cover. When Spike was done, he smirked, thinking he had defeated the threat to Rarity.
“HA! Take that you… you… Rarity?”
Before them was Rarity with the ends of her mane singed and black spots on her now ruined white coat. Her eye was twitching in horror at the sight of herself in a nearby mirror. Horrified at her image, an angry Rarity immediately screamed.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”
“Woah, that just happened!” said a new voice.
Behind Spike and Rarity was the sight of Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo sitting on a small thunderstorm cloud floating near the ground. After she finished screaming, Rarity turned to Spike with anger plastered over her face.
“Now, Spike! Why in the name of Equestria did you do that!?”
Twisting his claws in nervousness while avoiding her scolding glare like a foal, Spike replied, “Well… I saw this green thing run over here, and I thought you were in trouble. I mean, it laughed and everything at us!”
Pointing her hoof at his feet, Rarity angrily replied, “You mean Miss Heartstrings? She rushed over here not too long ago to receive her costume!”
Confused, the young drake looked where Rarity pointed and noticed a green unicorn holding some sort of green camouflage costume as if her life depended on it.
“Is it safe? Am I safe?” said Lyra as she looked around.
“Oh… oops. Sorry guys, I thought-”
Rarity’s hoof covered Spike’s mouth to prevent him from finishing his sentence as she angrily scolded him even more.
“You thought wrong, Spike. I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but now you’ve ruined my mane and coat! It will take me hours to undo the damage you’ve done!”
Frowning in shame and sadness, Spike made a plea to the mare of his dreams.
“I’m sorry, Rarity… can I make it up to you?”
“Yes, you can. Take Sweetie Belle with you and go elsewhere. I have some beauty sleep I need to catch up on, as I’m thoroughly tired from completing my last commission!”
Spike’s heart sank as Sweetie Belle smiled glee; he would be stuck with her even more as punishment.
“AWWW! I messed up, and now I’m stuck with her!”
“Hey, Sweetie Belle, where are you guys going?” asked Scootaloo.
“We’re going to Sugarcube Corner to get some cake. Wanna come?”
“Umm… I don’t know. Rainbow Dash?”
“Hehe, don’t worry, squirt, we’ll be there after getting a few more pranks in.”
Beaming with happiness, Scootaloo waved her friends goodbye.
“See ya later, Princess Belle and Spike the Knight.”
As Sweetie Belle smiled, Spike frowned and resigned himself to his fate. It would be a while before Rarity would cool down and see him in a better light. Maybe then he could prove himself to her, but for now, it was impossible after his recent blunder. As Spike and Sweetie Belle began to talk away, Lyra got up from the ground, inspecting herself and her costume. Satisfied there was no damage, Lyra gleefully smiled and bounced away a happy mare.
“Thanks, Rarity!”
“You’re welcome,” Rarity replied in an unenthusiastic tone.
“Hahahaha! That was a riot!” laughed Rainbow Dash as she lay on her back, pointing at Rarity.
Sticking her nose up at her friend and looking away, Rarity huffed indignantly.
“Hmph! It was certainly NOT humorous in any way, shape, or form! And may I ask what exactly you are doing over here?”
“Sure…” Rainbow Dash replied while suppressing a laugh. “We were going to prank those two, but they ran away, so we decided to follow them and find out why.”
Adjusting her mane in a vain attempt to fix it, Rarity replied, “Well, now you know why. After what happened last night, everypony has been acting on edge. I’m so disappointed that Spike has been acting out of line recently. He’s usually so well behaved.”
Confused as to what Rarity was referring to, Scootaloo asked, “Huh? What happened last night?”
Both mares realized their mistake, Rarity looking in another direction to avoid Scootaloo’s gaze of confusion while Rainbow Dash took the initiative to prevent any questions about the subject.
“Hehehe, nothing important, Scoots. Don’t worry about it.”
Shrugging her shoulders, Scootaloo dropped the subject, relieving both mares from having to talk about their battle with the blood hooves and the accidental slaying of the last human. Returning to Rarity, Rainbow Dash asked, “So umm… I take it you won’t be joining us later?”
“What?! Did you not hear a word I said? Look at me! Do I look like I’m in a state to join anypony out in public?!”
Looking at Rarity, Rainbow Dash shrugged and said, “Eh, I guess not. Well more cake for us! Let’s get going, Scoots.”
Rarity looked in disbelief at Rainbow Dash upon hearing the word danger, remembering the events a few months ago when she became arrogant for being a hero. Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head, “It sounds cool… don’t judge.”
Narrowing her eyes, Rarity slammed the door causing Rainbow Dash to say, “Dang, so touchy. Alright, let’s bail.”
Leaving the Boutique, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo moved their cloud back towards the center of the town, eager to carry on their pranks. Unbeknownst to everypony, a figure had made its way inside the residence of Rarity, quietly seeking refuge while waiting for its next move.
Sneaking his way into Ponyville was easier said than done, but somehow, by the grace of God, Konrad managed to do it. And he couldn’t believe the sight before him.
“I’m here… I’m actually here. Smack dab in the middle of Ponyville.”
Before, he was exactly as he had seen in the show. Everypony was walking about enjoying Nightmare Night by playing games, getting candy, and enjoying each others’ company. It was strange being in a world based on a cartoon, but despite the weirdness of it all, he knew this place would be great to live in, assuming they would accept him. The sight of ponies before him reminded Konrad of when he was a kid enjoying Halloween. He smiled at the happy thoughts, hoping Apple Bloom was enjoying the same thing.
The lack of lights on the outer portion of the town greatly aided Konrad in sneaking into town. It also helped that certain parts of the town lacked adequate or low-level lights, preventing him from being seen by ponies from afar. He couldn’t precisely recognize where he was, as the show didn’t have a complete layout. Instead, Konrad was stuck to guessing where he was based on the most recognizable building.
“Let’s see. Town hall is in the center, Sugarcube Corner is near it if I remember correctly, and Twilight’s place is… shit, this will be harder than I thought.”
Another fact that would make finding Apple Bloom difficult was the fact that she could be wearing a costume.
Luna won’t be wearing one, but I can’t see any of them! Hell, I hardly recognize these ponies.”
He realized his best bet was to wait and, if need be, move to another spot if neither showed up. Lying prone in the bushes next to a house, Konrad could see a few ponies he recognized. Passing by him a mere few feet away was Cherry Berry dressed as a bee, and if his memory served him correctly, it was the same costume she wore in the show. She was happily trotting along, unaware of what was next to her. Konrad quietly sighed in relief, afraid that he was almost discovered.
Walking not far from her was Meadow Song, dressed as some sort of ninja, and not far from him was what he guessed to be Sea Swirl dressed in a Viking costume. The more ponies he saw, the more they looked precisely like the costumes they wore from the show.
”Woah. Do these ponies ever change their routine? I swear it’s the same shit they wore from last year! Doesn’t matter, really. I don’t see Luna, Apple Bloom, or anypony else that can help me. Might as well move when I can.”
Before Konrad could look for an opportunity, a pair of Royal Guards walked by, with a unicorn casting a simple light beam acting as a flashlight while the other one- a pegasus- walked by with a spear. Konrad’s apprehension took hold of him, realizing that finding Luna and Apple Bloom would be even more difficult. With no weapons to defend himself with and his wounded state, there was no way he could win a fight if he were spotted. He was walking a tightrope with weak feet, and if he weren’t careful, he’d fall very hard.
“Fucking hell! Of course, there would be guards! They just HAD to be here! No doubt on the lookout for me. This is going to be hard as dried horse shit.”
After waiting a few minutes, the pair of guards were out of sight, and the remaining ponies near him weren’t paying attention to his location. It was the best opportunity to move, and the man decided he needed to find a town hall. Carefully moving from the bushes, Konrad could see a very dark alley and quickly but quietly moved into it like a thief in the night. Keeping close the walls for cover in case a pony walked by and decided to look, the man did his best to prevent his outline from showing. Every so often, he would freeze at the sound of movement with sweat pouring down his face in fear.
Most of the time, it was simply the wind blowing loose leaves strayed into town, but some were indeed ponies. Lucky for Konrad, they weren’t guards but simple Ponyville residents in their costumes. As he lay against the wall and made a quick peek around the corner of a house, Konrad could spot town hall from a distance, giving him some bearing. He had no doubt the concentration of ponies would be the largest around there, as it was his best bet to spot Princess Luna or Apple Bloom.
Looking around the corner in both directions, the young man noticed the coast was clear and kept to the shadows along the street as he maintained his stealth.
“Good thing survival training taught me to be sneaky. If there’s one thing valuable I got from the military, it’s this.”
After weaving around various stands and freezing when a pony got too close, Konrad finally found a spot next to a tent with what appeared to be a witch’s cauldron and a stand with vials and tubes that belonged to a mad scientist. Across the street was the apple bobbing tank with what appeared to be some green apples. On the road were a few ponies walking about and having fun.
The first one he was able to recognize as Featherweight with a simple camera strapped around his neck. The young colt had a happy smile, taking pictures of the celebration. The other nearby colt was very easy to recognize from his costume alone. It was none other than Snails dressed as a snail.
“He went as his name describes… a snail. At least he didn’t dress up as a pony; that would be even more redundant.”
Turning his attention to two mares nearby, Konrad was at a loss to figure out who she was. She wasn’t like any character in the show and looked more akin to someone’s OC. Unable to figure out what she was doing, the man gave up on trying to figure her out and chalked it up to a canon difference in this dimension.
“No clue who that is, but whateves, I’d bang her.”
And the mare nest to her was facing away, trying to get the attention of what he assumed to be her friends. The mare was easily recognizable as Roseluck based on her mane. As he looked at the mare further, the costume bore a striking resemblance to a dress one would see in a Disney movie. As he thought about it further, he recognized precisely where it was from and face palmed in the process.
“Belle’s dress from Beauty and the Beast? Ripoff! I’ll bet Rarity made that too.”
Cringing in pain, the young man’s patience for finding Apple Bloom and Luna was starting to dwindle. The faster he could see them, the quicker he could get medical assistance. Looking around, Konrad could spot Sugarcube Corner in the distance and noticed a line of ponies standing outside and leading into the shop. Konrad groaned in his mind, realizing that the chances of Luna or Apple Bloom inside were high.
“Makes sense to me, seeing how I’ve yet to see anything except regular ponies around here. That, and royalty always loves to attract the most attention. Might as fucking well do some more spying.”
Formulating a new plan, Konrad decided that hanging near Sugarcube Corner to see if Apple Bloom or Luna would walk out was likely the best option for now. He’d have to watch from a distance, but if he could find a good spot that covered the entrance, assuming he was correct, he would be able to track either of them. And if he did, he’d wait for the perfect opportunity to surprise them and clear his name to all of Equestria. Looking around and ensuring the coast was clear, Konrad carefully moved through the various stands, doing his best to prevent himself from catching the attention of wandering eyes.
He quickly pressed his back against the wall between two houses, repeating his previous evasive moves. The man thought he had made a clean getaway, but this perception was proven to be a false reality as a voice spoke out.
“Woah! Did you see that?”
For a good reason, Konrad’s heart began to beat rapidly in fear. Somepony saw him.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! I was so close, too! How the fuck did I not see-”
Taking a quick look around the corner very carefully, Konrad could spot not just one individual but two. The one who spotted him was Spike, wearing a costume similar to his daydream from an episode. Next to him was Sweetie Belle wearing a princess costume.
“See Spike and Sweetie Belle… shit, he’s coming this way! There isn’t a place to hide!”
Realizing he was about to be discovered, Konrad bolted down the alley as fast as he could. He could hear both of them run after him, making Konrad curse himself for being so careless. The best he could do was lose them in the darkness as he ran away.
”I need to lose them and stay close to the shadows. The further I get away from the town’s center, the less are likely to follow them.”
Taking quick peeks behind himself now and then, the fugitive man could spot the pursuing pair, but the silver lining was that he was outrunning them. His breathing began to hurt, and his blood burned like acid as he sprinted as fast as possible to avoid detection. Unfortunately, the man was running out of areas to lose the pursuing dragon and pony as the houses ended with an open area lacking any cover. It was then he spotted a landmark all too familiar to him.
”Carousel Boutique. Rarity’s home. I could hide there if I got inside fast enough. I’ll just hide in a closet and then leave. Hide and seek was always something I was good at.”
Seeing no other viable options, Konrad bolted for the home’s back door, mindful of the bell at the front door. As he ran from his cover quickly across the short but open field, he could spot Spike and Sweetie Belle far away but otherwise still pursuing him. Even though it was technically an obvious spot to look for him, the lack of another place made it his only choice. Running in an open field with the moonlight would be an even worse option. Coupled with his tired and wounded state, he wouldn’t make it far.
”Fuck! Get the fuck inside and shut the fuck up!”
After running around the back of the house, Konrad could find the back door, checking to ensure it was unlocked.
“Oh please be open!”
The door was unlocked to his luck, which was increasingly becoming rare. Smiling, he carefully opened it and sneaked inside. The sight of the kitchen greeted him. The lack of adequate lighting, except for the moonlight coming through the window, made it difficult to see where he was going. There was enough light to see the way out of the kitchen, but the man needed a better place to hide. As the man slowly made his way towards the hallway, something he vaguely remembered from the show, voices of two mares could be heard coming from what he assumed to be the front interior of the house.
The first voice was easy to recognize as Rarity, while the second voice eluded him. He couldn’t determine what they were speaking, but it was highly irrelevant at the moment. The only thing that mattered was finding a place to hide.
“Must be a background pony or something. Got to find a closet. Can’t get distracted by a potential bronygasm by being in Rarity’s home.”
There were two ways leading away from the kitchen. The hallway leading to Konrad’s left was what he assumed to be the front interior, the very same direction where voices were coming from. Konrad’s decision to turn right in the hallway was the obvious choice as the man quietly tip-toed across the carpet floor. Pleased that his boots had somehow not dragged any dirt inside, Konrad could spot what appeared to be a closet at the end of the hallway.
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s better than nothing.”
He slowly opened the door and went inside, utterly blind to what was inside. Instead of a closet, it was a guest bathroom with a shower. The only reason he could spot this was a surprise flash of lightning, though he could not notice the bathtub in time as the lightning flash revealed it too late. Konrad tried to stop his fall by grabbing the shower curtain by tripping over the bathtub, only to have his body weight completely rip it off the rails.
As much as Konrad wanted to curse out loud, he couldn’t for fear of being discovered. If he got caught in the bathtub wrapped up like a burrito, it would be the most embarrassing moment of his life and an epic failure on his part.
“Keep quiet, keep my mouth shut, and hope nopony noticed a thing.”
Time seemed to come to a standstill as he laid in the tub, wrapped up comically with the shower curtain. For a brief moment, he was glad not to see the design of the curtain, as he had no doubt it would be feminine to the extreme. Suddenly, a scream so loud that it could be heard through the bathroom door shattered the silence. The man could not cover his ears in time to ease the pain inflicted upon his hearing and suffered until it was over.
For Konrad, it was all too obvious who the scream belonged to.
“Great, she’s done more damage to my ears than jet noise ever has! Damn, that was loud!”
Worried that Spike and Sweetie Belle alerted Rarity to his presence, Konrad resigned to his anticipated doom. He was sure Rarity would be searching the house any minute now to find him and continued lying in the bathtub. Thinking of a witty remark when he would be discovered, time flew by with no Rarity or anypony coming through the door.
“So… if Rarity isn’t coming after me, then what the fuck did she scream for? That was so loud! Might have even given Luna a run for her money.”
Remembering how loud Luna’s Royal Canterlot voice was and how the show didn’t do it justice in real life, Konrad immediately threw the thought away as he slowly climbed out of the bathtub. Taking the shower curtain off wasn’t much of a hassle, despite how loud he thought it might be. Noticing that the curtain was ruined from ripping away from the ring couplers, he gently laid it in the tub and hoped it wouldn’t be discovered until after he left. Carefully opening the door, Konrad could see a tiny amount of light coming from the hallway to the front interior.
Carefully making his way towards the hallway, Konrad could peek around the corner, seeing both Rarity and the central area of the Boutique. Like everything else he had seen, it looked exactly like it had in the show and was a sight indeed. The room was spotless, practically immaculate now that he thought of it. Even the air had a clean scent, eliciting nothing but pleasure from his nose. Rarity, on the other hand, was a mess. Her coat had black marks here and there, while her mane was charred on the ends. She was furiously trying to fix it by brushing it but continuously failed to make any improvements to her predicament.
“Reminds me of Luna’s accident. How the fuck did this-”
Before Konrad could finish his thoughts, Rarity angrily slammed the brush on the ground with her magic. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, he could see a very scalding look on her face. He swore he could have seen steam exit her ears if he wasn’t so tired.
“Spike! I wish you would drop any notions of rescuing me in your silly fantasies! A green blur heading to my house?! How could he have mistaken Lyra for some green blur!? And to attack somepony with his fire breath! Especially me!”
“Well, I guess that’s what happened; he mistook Lyra for me… wait, that other pony was Lyra? Hmm. Not quite what I imagined her voice would be. Spike, you done fucked up. Glad he got her off my ass.”
“I’ll have to book an emergency appointment tomorrow, but I require my beauty sleep for now.”
Konrad watched as Rarity turned the light in the room off, causing him to retreat into the kitchen briefly. Hearing hoof steps on the staircase before going silent, the young man breathed a sigh in relief, knowing the coast was clear. Walking back towards the entrance, Konrad looked around the Boutique using the light from his iPod. Despite not having enough lighting, he marveled at the sight around him. Almost any hardcore brony would kill to get a chance to be here.
“Well, here I am. In Rarity’s home. Pretty interesting. First Sweet Apple Acres, now this place. Never could have seen this coming, but hey, it’s better than being dead. I still miss home, though. I better… oh no.”
Turning his iPod off, Konrad realized a significant problem that needed to be taken care of immediately.
He needed to go to the restroom.
“No! Not here, not now! Dammit! I don’t want to take a shit here! This is Rarity’s place! It’s so clean and… and…”
Unable to think of an alternate solution, combined with the possibility of his pants exploding, Konrad quickly returned to the bathroom. Relief could not even begin to describe the feeling when he was done completing the ever-so-relieving act of committing “number 2”. Cleaning himself up, the man flushed the toilet only to run into another problem.
“Shit… literally shit. The toilet won’t flush.”
Lacking any valuable plumbing knowledge, aside from using a plunger, he began to worry about his mess. The smell was already bad enough, but leaving it here was not something he could do to Rarity.
“Or could I? Can’t do anything; toilet won’t flush.”
Shrugging his shoulders, Konrad said to himself, “Fuck it. Not my problem anymore. I’ll just wash my hands and move on.”
After washing his hands, Konrad quietly went outside the same way he came, leaving Rarity none the wiser of the devious deed committed right under her snout.
“Okay, now where is Sugarcube Corner again? I think it’s this way.”
Pressing onward to Sugarcube Corner, Konrad left nothing except the vile surprise for Rarity to discover, and nopony would never know it was him. Konrad smiled deviously at the thought of Rarity crying in horror, finding the “present” as he rounded a corner of a house, blending in like a shadow of the night.
Pinkie Pie woke up from sleep, taking a longer nap than anticipated. She was happy to have fun tonight by energetically jumping from her bed and bouncing around her room. Pinkie Pie gave Gummy a big hug in her chicken costume last year, showing how much she loved her pet alligator.
"Late night hug! Oh Gummy! I'm going to make a new friend tonight! Isn't that exciting?"
Gently setting him down, the toothless alligator blinked with not a hint of emotion showing. Being careful while walking down the hall not to wake up Pumpkin and Pound Cake, Pinkie Pie could tell that she had overslept when she heard numerous voices from below. As she came downstairs, Pinkie Pie was greeted by the sight of ponies in costumes milling about the main room eating the various treats she helped bake. Several ponies waved to her, and a few more complimented her on the cupcakes she made.
This made Pinkie Pie smile in happiness, knowing she helped brighten the day or, in this case, the night for her friends. Looking around the room, Pinkie Pie could spot Twilight Sparkle in the corner finishing her moon cake slice with a smile on her face. Trotting over to Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie greeted her friend cheerfully,
"Hiya Twilight! Like the cake?"
Twilight smiled as she wiped her muzzle with a napkin as disposed of the trash in a nearby garbage bin.
"It was absolutely delicious! Did you make that all yourself?"
"No, but I did help a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were the masterminds behind it. Did you like the cupcakes I made?"
Giggling before pulling out her costume's beard, Twilight Sparkle nodded as she showed Pinkie Pie the damage.
"I did, but I think my beard became a casualty. It's no big deal; nopony still recognizes my costume."
Pinkie Pie gasped as she saw that Twilight's costume wasn't up to its peak. As a good friend, there was no way for the love of hay she would stand by and let her friend not enjoy her costume to its full potential. If she had lost her costume's chicken beak, then she wouldn't be much of a chicken any more than Twilight Sparkle would be an obscure unicorn from the past. Pinkie Pie pulled out a clean replacement by swiping the beard away and quickly running to the kitchen.
Pinkie Pie ran out of the room in a pink blur while expertly avoiding the other ponies enjoying the party. Neither one noticed the energetic pink mare in a chicken costume blazing by with speed that rivaled Rainbow Dash on her best day. Hoofing the beard back to Twilight, Pinkie Pie smiled,
"Here you go, Twilight! One beard for your Starswirl, the Bearded costume! I'll clean the other one for you tomorrow."
Twilight Sparkle was astonished and unable to comprehend her knowledge of her costume's identity and how Pinkie Pie could produce a replacement piece quickly. Her jaw dropped in amazement as she took the beard, causing Pinkie Pie to smile, happy that she was able to help her friend in need.
"She's so super duper happy! Now ponies will know who she is! If you're going to be an old fart, gotta play the part!"
"Pinkie...how did-"
Before Twilight could finish her question, Pinkie Pie beat her to the punch.
"It's okay, Twilight; I have beards stashed around the shop in case of beard emergencies. It's no biggie! Oh! I almost forgot."
From seemingly nowhere, Pinkie Pie produced a cup full of delicious fruit punch for Twilight, hoofing it to her friend. Shaking her head before giggling, Twilight Sparkle accepted the fruit punch from her friend.
"Pinkie Pie, I don't know how you do it but thank you very much."
"A magician never reveals her secrets! You should know that silly filly."
Giving her friend a bemused look, Twilight Sparkle shook her head before drinking the beverage. Pinkie Pie smiled, knowing that the simple slight hoof trick she learned as a filly always worked on everypony. So far, nopony had figured out that it was nothing more than a trick of speed and skill and not a reality-shattering ability that some ponies believed from time to time. It was great that she had perfected the trick long ago on the bits her parents gave her for allowance before moving on to other small objects.
The baby foals upstairs absolutely loved the trick, and Pinkie Pie was pleased to make them laugh.
"So much cute baby laughing! It's the simple things in life worth living."
As Twilight Sparkle finished her punch, Pinkie Pie took note of the Royal Sisters serving cake, who seemed to be getting along. This made Pinkie Pie smile even more than their wounds were already beginning to heal. Over near a wall were Shining Armor and Princess Cadence nuzzling each other, eliciting a "D'awww" from Pinkie Pie. Twilight Sparkle disagreed on the other hoof as she noticed the pink mare admiring her brother and sister-in-law.
"Believe me, it wasn't pretty earlier, Pinkie."
"Why? Because they were sharing a cupcake romantically?"
Taking a step back in surprise, Twilight Sparkle asked,
"What?! How did you know?"
Truth be told, Pinkie didn't really know that at all. She was nothing more than really good at guessing, and while she wasn't right all the time, she was pretty lucky when it came to guessing the correct answer. Pinkie Pie giggled once more before answering,
"It was just a guess, Twilight; I'm not some dimension-breaking pony that everypony thinks I am."
Giving a look of confusion at Pinkie Pie before shrugging her shoulders, Twilight Sparkle replied,
"Okay, I can accept that. Doesn't explain Pinkie Sense, though...I'd still like to figure that one out." muttered Twilight.
Pinkie Pie jumped in the air, excited that Twilight mentioned her Pinkie Sense.
"Ooh! Twilight! You're not gonna believe it and get super duper excited too!"
With an unamused look on her face, Twilight Sparkle answered,
"Nothing surprises me anymore. Last night showed just how anything can happen."
"Oh really, what if I told you my Pinkie Sense told me about a major doozy!"
A look of surprise lit across Twilight's face as the news of Pinkie receiving another warning from her Pinkie sense. With a little bit of apprehension, Twilight asked,
"What type of doozy? You seem to be very happy about this."
"That's because I am silly! It's the same doozy I had yesterday! The same one before we found the super cool human that saved Apple Bloom and Princess Luna."
Twilight's jaw lowered in shock before she was shaken out of her stupor by Pinkie Pie.
"Wha-what?! Are you serious, Pinkie Pie?"
Smiling with glee, Pinkie jumped up and down in happiness, shouting,
"Yup! He's alive! He's alive, and we're not murderers!"
Several ponies noticed Pinkie Pie's behavior, including Princess Celestia, as she continued to shout,
"We're not murderers! He's alive! The hu-MPH!"
With Twilight covering her mouth with a hoof, she nervously laughed at the herd of ponies staring at them in confusion.
"Read that follow-along horror story I loaned you? That's just great!."
Buying Twilight's excuse of Pinkie Pie referring to a horror story, the ponies in the store continued to mingle and chat amongst themselves. Curious about what Pinkie Pie was cheering, Princess Luna and Celestia made their way over to the mares. Retracting her hoof back, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie quickly bowed before the Princesses, with Luna asking,
"Greetings, Pinkie Pie, thou wouldn't be trying to organize foals into fearing me again?"
Blushing, Pinkie Pie replied,
"No, you're highness, I was just getting excited about my Pinkie Sense! It told me he's alive!"
"Who's alive?" asked a new voice.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadence were joining the group, curious about the commotion Pinkie Pie was causing.
"The human! My Pinkie Sense went off, the same one I had last night!
"Pinkie Sense?" asked Princess Luna.
"It's better that you don't ask. You'll just wind up more confused," answered Twilight Sparkle.
Raising an eyebrow at the lavender mare, Luna turned back to Pinkie Pie and asked,
"You say the human is alive?"
"Yup! My Pinkie Sense went off like this!"
As Pinkie Pie reenacting her Pinkie Sense from earlier, Princess Luna watched the earth mare and was utterly baffled at the scene before her. Princess Celestia couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Pinkie's ridiculous body movements. Shining Armor looked at her in confusion, unable to understand the significance of such an act. When Pinkie Pie had finished her reenactment, she smiled before saying,
"And that's why Konrad is alive. You see, my body spontaneously does stuff when I feel something's going to happen. I call it my Pinkie Sense. It did that last night before we met him. And it did that before I took a nap, which means he's alive!"
"I'll bet Luna will be SOOOOO happy that he's alive! I want to meet him again! Oh, and I'll bake him cupcakes and throw him a totally awesome "We're so sorry for mistaking and hurting your party!". It's gonna be so great!"
Beaming at the thought of a human enjoying one of Pinkie's parties, ponies' reactions were mixed.
While Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, by Twilight's friendship reports, of course, understood how accurate Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense was. Shining Armor, on the other hoof, was utterly confused until Cadence quickly explained it to him by whispering in his ear. She understood it only because Twilight told her about it during the reception party a few months ago. As he nodded and finally understood what the Pinkie Sense meant, Princess Luna, narrowed her eyes at Pinkie Pie.
"Do you think this is funny?"
"What? That's not what she's supposed to say."
"No, you're supposed to be happy, Princess Luna. He's-"
Glaring at Pinkie Pie, Princess Luna continued with anger dripping like a snake's venom from her voice.
"Do you think such an act will help me move on from his death? Is this a pathetic attempt to give me false hope? Have you and your friends done enough damage to my soul!?"
Scared at Princess Luna's glare and scary voice, Pinkie Pie dropped the prop egg she used last year as a small gag. Her idea was to remain in character for her costume, and considering how frightened she was last year, she thought she had pulled it off, making other ponies laugh at the silly sight. The Egg gag didn't work at all in soothing the angry blue alicorn princess, making Pinkie Pie sweat in fear.
"Oh noes! She's mad at me and thinks I'm making a mean prank! That's not what I'm doing! I just want to make her smile and give her good news!"
Seeing the fear on Pinkie Pie's face, Princess Celestia stepped between her and Luna, helping the Element Bearer of Laughter's worry of retaliation from Luna.
"Luna, please, do not lose your temper. They think-"
"What?! That's he's alive based upon some seizure dance of a mare?! Surely thou cannot believe such drivel coming from this young foal!"
Being called a foal hurt her feelings, and for Pinkie Pie, it wasn't the first time she was called such a name. With a frown forming on her face, Celestia nuzzled her and whispered,
"It's okay, Pinkie Pie, you'll have to forgive her. I have faith in your "Sense" as much as everypony in the town does. We'll find him."
With her frown turning upside down, Pinkie Pie immediately felt better as Celestia turned to her sister to defend Pinkie Pie.
"Luna, may I have a word with you in the kitchen?"
Giving Pinkie Pie one last glare, Princess Luna turned her back to the mare and made her way towards the kitchen, with Celestia following close behind. Despite Princess Luna's words, Pinkie Pie had already forgiven her. It was apparent that Luna doubted her rare gift, and losing her human friend was still a fresh wound. Feeling Twilight's hoof on her back, Pinkie Pie said,
"I'm fine, Twilight; she just doesn't believe me, that's all."
"Okay, just wanted to make sure."
"So let me get this straight..." asked Shining Armor. "Your sixth sense or whatever helps tip you off to everything?"
"Kinda like that but not everything. It only happens when something major is about to happen like an accident or event."
"Huh, well, I'll bet that's pretty helpful. Don't you think so, Twiley?"
Giving her bother an unamused look towards her brother, Shining Armor asked,
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
Shaking her head, Twilight responded,
"No, it's fine. I was a major skeptic a while back. I didn't have the best of luck when it came to finally believe in it."
Before Shining Armor could ask any further, Spike and Sweetie Belle walked through the door of Sugarcube Corner wearing their costumes. Spike looked in the direction of the moon cake and groaned in agony.
"Awww! There's no more left!"
The table that held the moon cake was bare as a stallion in a vampire costume happily trotted away for a plate of cake safely held by his teeth. Several ponies waiting in line lowered their heads in disappointment before walking away from the table. Satisfied with the success of the culinary treat, Mr. Cake immediately cleared the table while Mrs. Cake went to work cleaning the remaining crumbs that were strewn about.
"Well, at least there's cupcakes still," added Sweetie Belle.
"Yeah, but everypony said it was awesome. Wish I had a slice..."
Noticing the newcomers, Princess Cadence smiled with glee and greeted the young ones.
"Oh, hi, Spike! Have you been protecting your fair Princess?"
As Cadence gave Spike a wink, Sweetie Belle smiled while the young dragon blushed in embarrassment.
"Yes, he has! He protected me from the monster!" replied Sweetie Belle, cracking her voice at the word monster.
This did not help the young drake, for all he wanted to do was run back to the library and eat his candy.
"Not gonna set any more traps soon, are ya?" asked Shining Armor.
Crossing his arms, Spike pouted at Shining Armor's slight jab causing the stallion to chuckle.
"Hey, c'mon, little buddy, I was just joking! I'm not mad about it at all. Kinda cool how you set the trap, really."
"R-really? You think so?" asked Spike as he looked at Shining Armor with hope.
"Heh, know so. You got skills, bro."
Holding out his hoof, Spike instantly recognized it as a brohoof. He returned it, sealing the gesture of bros.
"Too bad you missed the green thing we were chasing earlier. That would have been amazing."
Looking at each other in confusion, everypony wondered what Sweetie Belle was talking about.
"Green thing? Konrad wore green. Could he mean..."
A huge smile slowly started to form on the mare's face as Twilight asked,
"Green thing? Spike, what are you talking about?"
Taking a deep breath, Spike told them of how both he and Sweetie Belle noticed a strange tall green thing moving around the town. Investigating the strange phenomenon, they both pursued it to Rarity's Boutique, worried that she might have been in trouble. It turned out to be a false alarm, and by a false alarm, it was actually Lyra Heartstrings, the town's resident lyre player. Mistaking her for a monster, due in part to Rainbow Dash's prank, he accidentally singed Rarity's mane.
"And that's why I'm here." finished Spike with his head lowered.
"You mean we?" smiled Sweetie Belle while batting her eyelashes.
Several ponies around him smiled while the young drake rolled his eyes. After hearing Spike's story, Pinkie Pie was convinced that the individual they saw was Konrad himself.
"It's him! It's got to be him!"
"Well, I guess it was nothing then. For a second, the way you described it, I almost thought-"
"Twilight! It's him! It's got to be him! My Pinkie sense and Spike and Sweetie Belle seeing a strange tall green thing!"
Worried about the possibility Pinkie Pie may be right, Shining Armor asked Spike,
"Spike, how tall would you describe this...green blur?"
Scratching his head with a claw, Spike guessed,
"I'm not sure; it was taller than Princess Celestia, maybe slightly more than a minotaur? It was somewhere around there."
Putting a hoof to his chin, Shining Armor pondered the similarities of his encounter with Konrad. The human was roughly the same height, and his suit was the same dark green that Spike had described. Thinking of one more question before he could come to a conclusion, Shining Armor asked,
"Spike, did you hear the noise it made when it ran? Did it make the sound of hooves at all?"
"Umm....no, it didn't." turning his attention to Sweetie Belle, Spike asked, "Did you hear any?"
"Well, it did make a noise like this."
Sweetie Belle stomped her fore hooves in a motion similar to that of a biped like Spike. Pinkie Pie smiled when Shining Armor said,
"Spike, it's a good thing you didn't catch what that was. It definitely was NOT a pony."
Gulping in fear, Spike asked, "W-what was it then?"
Before Shining Armor could answer, Princess Luna angrily stormed past them, leaving Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie frowned that Luna was back to her old angry, and unhappy self, feeling helpless that she couldn't do anything to help her smile.
"He's alive, I know it. My Pinkie Sense is never wrong. I hope we find him so she can be happy again."
Princess Celestia sighed as she rejoined the group.
"Well, it seems she's going to be angry for a while longer and think things are going well."
Not wasting any time, Shining Armor spoke to Princess Celestia, eager to tell her what he learned from Spike and Sweetie Belle.
"Princess Celestia, I must inform you that I believe Konrad may be alive and in Ponyville."
With her eyes ever so slightly widening, Princess Celestia asked,
"I take it you have something besides Miss Pie's sense?"
Nodding, he pointed to Sweetie Belle and Spike, causing the solar Princess to smile at the cute pair.
"Oh, how wonderful! Spike, you're quite the knight, and Princess Belle, how wonderful you look tonight!"
Princess Celestia took a bow to Sweetie Belle, showing a playful sign of respect between royalty, which the filly in the costume returned. Spike blushed in embarrassment at the scene, wishing the night was over. Pinkie Pie was doing her best to not laugh at the scene before her out of respect for Spike. She could tell he was embarrassed beyond belief, and as a good friend, there would be no way she'd make his night worse. She was able to calm down as Princess Celestia asked the duo,
"Tell me, fair Princess, did you see anything that may help us?"
Sweetie Belle nodded as she told Princess Celestia what she and Spike saw, leaving out the part of him burning Rarity. After listening to the filly's testimony, Princess Celestia concluded and shared it with the herd before her.
"It would seem that our human friend may possibly be alive and among us. If he truly is alive, then we must find him before somepony else does. Panic may ensue, and I do not want that to happen. Harm could befall my subjects, and especially Konrad."
As everypony nodded in agreement, Sweetie Belle and Spike looked at each other in confusion.
"What are you guys talking about? Humans aren't real," asked Spike.
Getting super excited, Pinkie Pie gleefully added,
"Yes, they are! Don't you know? Oh, that's right! We didn't tell you about what happened! Spike, last night we saw one, and he had this cool metal and wood stuff that was very loud that went BANG BOOM POP! And-"
"Pinkie Pie?" said Twilight trying to stop the pink mare.
While most ponies were away from hearing range, it was only a matter of time before somepony else could listen to her talking about a new species sneaking around town. However, the mare could not stop as the exciting thought of meeting Konrad and making a new friend grew.
"-he also had this thingy on wheels called a truck with this super duper cool drink inside called Red Bull that tasted SOOO good! And-mphhdumamph!"
"Pinkie Pie!" whispered Twilight, "Don't say it out loud! Somepony could hear and panic!"
"Oops! Don't want ponies to panic and think he's a bad guy when he isn't."
Nodding her head in agreement, Pinkie Pie remained silent about Konrad but couldn't remove the smile on her face. In fact, she had an urge to set aside a few cupcakes for Konrad, wanting to make sure he got to have some. The human deserved to have as much of a happy Nightmare Night as everypony else, and Pinkie Pie wanted to ensure that.
"Woah! Are you serious?" asked Spike.
Face hoofing, Twilight responded,
"Spike, yes, it's true, and don't tell everypony else. In the meantime, stay near well-lit areas and other ponies. If you or Sweetie Belle see anything, find one of us or a Guard. Do NOT go chasing if you see him. Understood?"
Crossing his arms, Spike nodded in disappointment while Sweetie Belle took a step closer to him with a smile on her face. Noticing she was closer to him, Spike turned his attention to the door, ready to make his escape.
"Uh, I think I hear my candy calling me. See you guys later!"
As Spike bolted for the door, Sweetie Belle followed, trying to keep up with him. As the two left, Princess Celestia addressed the group.
"Shining Armor, notify the Guards to be on the lookout for Konrad. He is to be taken to a private area and unharmed. Tell them to be discrete in their search. If he is here, I want to be notified immediately."
Saluting, Shining Armor made his way towards the door, intent on carrying out her orders. Before he could leave Sugarcube Corner, Celestia added,
"Oh! After you've passed on my orders, I almost forgot that please join us for the costume contest. You're still technically on leave if I remember correctly."
Smiling, Shining Armor saluted once more before leaving the store. Walking up to Celestia was Princess Cadence, thankful that her aunt wouldn't separate her from her husband.
"Thank you. I'm happy you didn't send Shining Armor off to find Konrad. I'm still angry about what he did to my husband."
"As is Luna still upset about what we've done to Konrad. She thinks Pinkie Pie's "Sense" is a poor joke and an attempt to raise her spirits. It's best if we leave her be while the Guards search for him. Hopefully, he really is here; I cannot stand to see her suffer emotionally like this."
"What are we going to do now?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Until Konrad is found, assuming he is here, we should continue enjoying ourselves. There's a costume contest starting soon. I suggest we attend and see what everypony has come up with."
"That sounds like so much fun! I wonder what-"
Before Pinkie Pie could finish her sentence, her Pinkie Sense immediately kicked in. With her tail twitching and ears flapping simultaneously, Pinkie Pie immediately knew what it meant as she performed 5 back flips. When the Pinkie Sense warning was over, she smiled in front of everypony before saying,
"He's here! And it's going to be a major doozy!"
Raising an eyebrow, Princess Celestia was at a loss of words for Pinkie Pie's unique ability. Turning to her student, Celestia noticed Twilight giving her a sheepish smile which added,
"It's good enough for me. I believe in it."
With a smile, Princess Celestia added,
"Well, that was quite a sight, Miss Pie. Let's go, my little ponies! I believe we have a contest to attend."
As everypony exited Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie bounced behind everypony before realizing something.
"Oh, I almost forgot! Need to stay in character!"
Ceasing her bouncing, Pinkie Pie began walking like a chicken with her head bobbing back and forth, taking special care to stay in character with a smile. She could only hope Konrad would like her costume and enjoy Nightmare Night instead of sneaking around in fear.
Luna couldn't believe the insinuation that some random body routine of a mare could be an accurate predictor of future events. The thought of it was ridiculous beyond belief and foolish to even hope such an absurd thing could be true, especially considering who is involved. Doing her best to remain calm as she walked, several ponies smiled and waved as she trotted past them. Most were young colts and fillies in various costumes, while some were adults, most of whom were parents.
As Luna continued to make her way towards the stage set at Ponyville's town square, the thoughts of Konrad being alive filled her mind.
"How could he even survive the Elements in the first place?! As far as I know, he doesn't have magic or any protection from it. If they were powerful enough to take down Discord and me long ago when I was corrupted, how could it fail on him? None of this makes sense! He's dead, and that's it. It's got to be some sort of cruel joke."
Spotting the stage ahead, the majority of the town's ponies were gathered in a large herd, eager to see the costumes their friends had made. With a thousand bits on the line for the winning costume, there was no doubt in her mind the number of contestants would be high. This did not please her, for she wished the night was over. Despite the celebration being held in her honor, she could not get over Konrad's death, mainly due to Pinkie Pie's claim that he was alive.
"If he really was here and in hiding, it would make sense considering how he's been unjustly received by my sister and our subjects. It was exactly as I feared what would happen if I did not vouch for him. I wish he was alive; I would not leave his side for a second. I hope this contest will not drag on too long."
Luna continued approaching the herd of ponies in the distance; a noise was heard from an alley nearby. Turning her head to see what the commotion was, Luna slowly approached the alley. Having fully recovered from her accidental self-inflicted injuries last night, Luna was ready to defend herself but doubted she would have to. The Blood Hooves were no more, and anything nefarious enough to attempt to inflict harm upon her was foolish to do so against an alicorn. And if they were stupid enough, her Night Sentinels and her sister Solar Guards were ready to respond at a moment's notice.
"Who goes there? Reveal thyself this instant! I command....thee?"
Luna's voice slowly changed from an authoritative tone to one of confusion. In the poorly lit alleyway was an ambiguous shape that, as far as she could tell from the distance, was as tall as her. Slowly it began to shape into something very familiar, the shape of a human. Moving closer, Luna's eyes widened as the shape of a human wearing a green camouflage became more apparent. He heart beat faster when she heard a low but masculine voice calling her name.
"Luna...it's me."
"Konrad? Is that-"
Without warning, the sight of a clown smiling unexpectedly appeared before her eyes, obscuring her view of the alley.
"Princess Luna! The contest is about to start soon, and your presence is required. We even have special seating arrangements!"
Doing her best to not shout or raise her voice, Luna held a neutral expression while attempting to view the Mayor. No matter how much she tried, Madam Mayor continued to get in the way and maintained eye contact, much to Princess Luna's dismay.
"Curse thee clown of annoyance! We do not nor ever will like your kind! Thou art strange and fools rather than expert jesters! Now move!"
Realizing the Mayor was not going anywhere, Princess Luna gave a small but fake smile.
"Very well, Madam Mayor, please show me the way."
Nodding with a smile that sent chills down Luna's spine, Mayor Mare pointed with a hoof before walking toward Luna's special seat. With the Mayor out of the way, Luna quickly moved towards the alley, hoping to find Konrad.
"Could it really be?! Is it true that silly pink mare's "sense" was indeed an accurate predictor? Oh, Konrad! Please be there."
Before Luna could investigate the alley, two of her sister's Solar Guards, one holding a spear with the other using a simple light spell, beat her to the punch. Luna was disappointed to see it empty and used his horn to illuminate the alleyway. Only a few barrels and boxes were followed by stray candy wrappers blown away in the wind's gentle breeze. With her hopes dashed and feeling foolish, Luna turned toward the Mayor and followed her to her seat.
"How foolish I was to think he really was alive, even for a fleeting second! My mind simply showed me something that was not there and what my soul wished. How foolish I feel! I hope this cursed contest will go by fast! I've had enough of this place!"
Holding back an urge to cry, Luna sat in her seat facing the stage sitting just a bit higher above everypony else. She could spot Apple Bloom eating a cupcake with her sister from a distance. The Element of Honesty had lent her the stetson hat she usually wore, making Apple Bloom look more of the country mare that she was. Luna noted the look of happiness Apple Bloom had spending time with Applejack. It brought back memories of when she and Celestia spent time together, times when things were simple and happier.
"Those times are gone, and I'll never get them back. After everything that has happened, I'm not sure I'll ever feel happy again. I can't bear such a loss anymore."
Looking at the stage, Luna saw Mayor Mare greet the herd of town ponies before addressing them about the contest. Luna smiled and waved to everypony when the Mayor pointed the spotlight upon her. Everypony cheered and hoof stomped in Luna's honor before the mare continued explaining the contest's rules. Everypony would get a vote, and after a final tally, various prizes would be awarded by Luna presenting the Grand Prize money. When the rules were explained, Mayor Mare walked to a podium to the far left and began introducing the contestants.
Relaxing in her chair, Luna sighed as she hoped the costumes would at least be interesting to see. As the first contestant was called, a pony dressed as a Mime walked on stage.
"Another clown...why must I be so cursed!?"
Konrad sighed in relief due to no small part of relieving his bowels just a few moments ago. The man quietly chuckled at the strange and absurd event before continuing to sneak between houses.
"What's the first thing I do when I get to Ponyville? Simple, I take a shit in Rarity's house. I never thought any of this would happen to me. Goddamn, my life is weird!"
Quietly moved about, Konrad began to notice the lack of ponies near him. A few moments ago, numerous ponies were walking around the place with several fillies and colts knocking on doors saying the Nightmare Night chant. The streets were mostly bare, with a few ponies walking by every now and then. Most of the ponies he now saw were Guards carrying on their patrols of the town. He would often have to hide or wait until they moved forward. Like in the show, the Guards that were unicorns were using their horns as flashlights while another Guard that was usually an earth pony would be the one holding a spear.
While hiding from the Guards using dark areas away from the main streets was easy, they sometimes would not move for several minutes. This annoyed Konrad greatly as he wanted to find Apple Bloom or Luna without any more difficulties. Unfortunately, his luck was not changing anytime soon, and the man was forced to use patience, a virtue that was never his favorite. After a pair of Guards moved on, the man slowly moved between two houses, careful to not make a sound. Finally making it to the end of the alley, he was greeted by the sight of an open street.
Before, he was several more ponies compared to the empty streets from earlier, but there was one detail the man couldn't help but notice. They were all moving in one direction.
"Where the hell are they going?"
Everypony appeared to be heading towards the center of the town, making the man curious. Carefully peeking, there was a pair of ponies that had yet to pass him. Once they were clear of him, Konrad could easily make his way across the street and get a better view of his bearings.
"This really isn't easy figuring out where I am, and I've watched the entire show many times, for crying out loud!"
Just as the pair of ponies, a filly and colt dressed a cat and a dog that shouted the word "D'awww" to Konrad, a flash of lightning blinded his eyes. The man's ears were suddenly by the sound of thunder, making him cover his ears as they rang. Opening his eyes, the man could make out the filly and colt crying in fear as they ran away. Both had dropped their candy in the process giving Konrad a pang of sympathy for their loss.
"Oh man! Poor kids, they lost their candy!"
When his senses became clear again, he froze at the sound of hysterical laughter coming from nearby. Not only was this particular pony laughing at the misfortune of the foals enough to get his blood boiling, but the recognition of who the voice belonged made his eyes narrow in anger. There was only one name that came to his mind as the laughter continued,
"Rainbow Dash."
Carefully looking around to make sure he wouldn't be seen, Konrad was able to trace Rainbow Dash's voice to a small thunderstorm cloud above. He instantly recognized it as the same prank she pulled in the show and noticed she wore the same shadow bolt costume. Looking closer, the man could tell a second pony was wearing the same outfit on the cloud. The pony appeared to be a filly and was laughing along with her. Moving behind a box, the man could make out a conversation the two were having as soon as their laughter died out.
"That was so awesome!" said Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, it totally was! They even dropped their candy too!"
The man's heart sank as he realized who the voice belonged.
"Scootaloo...why do you have to follow in her hoof steps? She's a douche! You're supposed to be the Cutie Mark Crusaders of D'awwness! Not douchebaggery!"
"Oh sweet! More for us! Let me get it real quick for ya."
Konrad's blood boiled in anger and he clenched his hands as Rainbow Dash casually flew down, swiping the candy bags away. He hoped to recover the candy and return it to its rightful owners, but the rainbow thief quickly dashed that plan out. Nothing would give him more joy than kicking Rainbow Dash's plot in front of her number one fan, but he knew too well such action would result in disaster. As the Element Bearer of Loyalty flew back up to the cloud and shared the spoils with her accomplice, an idea popped into Konrad's mind.
Realizing he was at the same spot earlier, Konrad noticed the apple bobbing tank was not too far away. Taking one more quick look at his target, he carefully moved to a crate nearby and took a few apples out of the tank, ready to execute his karma plan with a vengeance. Taking aim, the young man threw the apple in the air as hard as he could. Unfortunately, his aim was off as the apple sailed harmlessly over both ponies. Cursing under his breath, the sound of the apple hitting the ground caught the attention of Scootlaoo, raising her head in an alert.
"Rainbow Dash! Did you hear that?"
With her muzzle covered in a chocolate mess, Rainbow Dash replied with not a sense of worry in her voice.
"Nah, now dig in, Scoots! There's a lot of good ones in here!"
Looking around one more time, Scootaloo shrugged her shoulders and continued to partake in the stolen candy. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, the young man concentrated on his aim harder, praying for a better throw. Konrad knew he'd have to be careful this time, or his cover could be blown. As much as he hated it, he knew a fight with Rainbow Dash would result in his ass getting beat due to his condition.
"Sucks I don't even have my bayonet with me. I could still fuck somepony up with it, that's is, IF I had it. I must have dropped it on the ground back in Sunny Town."
Looking at his target once more, Konrad threw the apple in the air and prayed he wouldn't hit Scootaloo, despite her being just as guilty as Rainbow Dash. The apple shined in the air, the moonlight reflected in its skin, allowing the young man to see it sail towards its target. He smiled as the apple got closer and closer before the man was rewarded with efforts of retribution. As if his luck decided to give him a break, Rainbow Dash held up a piece of candy with her hoof to the moonlight, inspecting her new prize. Doing so resulted in her unknowingly making her a bigger target.
Before she could identify the candy, the apple smacked her hard in the good eye.
With a grin, Konrad balled his fist and raised it in the air feeling victorious against his foe.
"YEEEEAAAAAHHH!"
"Rainbow Dash! What happened?! Are you okay?"
Holding a hoof to her now injured head, Rainbow Dash replied,
"I'm fine, Scoots; something hit me."
Before she could ask more questions, Scootaloo noticed a red apple was now in her stolen candy bag. Holding it up with a hoof, Scootaloo gave it to Rainbow Dash, who was nursing one of her eyes.
"Rainbow Dash, look what I found. I think this is what hit you."
Turning around, Rainbow Dash held the apple in the air to get a better look at it. Confused as to why an apple hit her, Rainbow Dash asked nopony in particular,
"Huh? Where did this come from?"
Her question was answered in the form of another apple flying directly toward her face. Too late to react, the apple hit Rainbow Dash in the uninjured eye. She dropped on the cloud and rolled around while holding a hoof to her eye while moaning in pain. Dropping her candy bag, Scootaloo rushed over to her favorite pony.
"Rainbow Dash! Is your eye okay?"
"Oww! No, it hurts..."
Realizing she appeared weak in front of her number one fan, Rainbow Dash immediately got up and tried to appear as if it was nothing more than a bump.
"I'm fine, Scoots; nothing can take me down."
"Liar, I just did! Hope I gave you a black eye."
Looking at the apple in anger, Rainbow Dash picked up the apple and held it high in the air. At the top of her lungs, she shouted,
"WHOEVER THREW THIS, I WILL GET YOU!!"
"No, you won't! Time to get the fuck out of here."
Taking a peek from his hiding spot, Konrad noticed Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo looking around, trying to find her assailant. As he waited for both to turn their attention elsewhere, his patience was rewarded quickly, giving him the perfect opportunity to sneak away. Heading back through the alleyway, Konrad moved in the general direction of the ponies moving to Ponyville's town square. Taking extra care to remain silent in his movements, he saw Sugarcube Corner again and one of the ponies he had been searching for the whole night.
"Oh...my...god...Luna."
From a distance, he could see Princess Luna exiting the gingerbread-decorated bakery and heading in the same direction as the other ponies nearby. But something was wrong as he noted the look of anger on her face. It was the same expression of rage she had when she and Ruby fought over him in her old castle. Having only known Luna for a short time, he knew the Princess was not to be trifled with.
"She's probably pissed about what they did to me. Well, it's time to surprise her."
But the opportunity never came as too many ponies were nearby with their foals. He knew panic would result from his sudden appearance, and even though Luna was nearby, he did not want to burden her with controlling a panicking herd. Cursing under his breath, he slowly retreated to the center of the alley and turned a corner, hoping to catch her at a different spot. The cut on his arm stung, and the soreness bucking to his chest began to take a toll as he ran down the alley.
With opening passed, Konrad would take a peek, keeping track of Luna. Her trotting didn't make things any easier for the man as he struggled to keep up in his exhausted state. Finally spotting her, he ran ahead to the next turn and made a left to the end of the alley. Breathing heavily, Konrad stopped and pressed his back against the wall to prevent himself from making a shape for the ponies passing by. Looking towards the opening, he saw a large herd of ponies standing before a stage that looked exactly like the one in the show.
This made him question what the reason could be for its purpose.
"Is she going to make a speech or some shit like that? Speaking of which, where the fuck is she? There's practically nopony around here. She should be coming by any second now."
No sooner after his thought did Princess Luna come into view with a subtle look of anger on her face. Hoping to change that to a glimpse of happiness, the man tapped his knuckles on the wall, hoping to catch her attention. As the sound of his knuckles tapped on the wall, Princess Luna's ears perked straight up as she stopped and turned in his direction. Carefully moving forward, Luna spoke with the authority of a true monarch.
"Who goes there? Reveal thyself this instant! I command-"
"Yes, my Princess. Your wish is my command."
Taking his back off the wall, Konrad stood between the two buildings, carefully ensuring his silhouette was subtle enough to be seen only by Luna. He couldn't help but smirk when Luna hesitated, taking notice of his shape.
"...thee?"
"She's so attractive with ye old times obsolete speak and OH MY GOD! She's...she's so beautiful!"
The last time Konrad had seen Princess Luna, her appearance was very unkempt, but her looks were a complete one-eighty from the previous night. Her coat shined bright and was devoid of any dirt or grass. Her wings were no longer singed, nor were any twigs stuck in them. The feathers were perfectly uniform and were elegant as they possibly could be, giving her a majestic look. The feature that stuck out to him the most was her mane and tail. The sparkles appeared to shine much brighter and clearer as her mane and tail moved with the gentle breeze.
As she stared at him, he was entranced by her beautiful eyes, making the man think,
"She's....wow! She looks so great, and I look like shit! I wish I was clean right now. Better start talking instead of gawking."
Taking care to not be too loud, the man spoke softly,
"Luna...it's me."
"Konrad? Is that-"
As luck would have it, a mare dressed as a clown appeared between the two, cutting off their reunion prematurely.
"Princess Luna! The contest is about to start soon, and your presence is required. We even have special seating arrangements!"
Hiding behind a nearby barrel, Konrad clenched his teeth in anger at the interruption. Based on the costume alone, he could tell the pony was Mayor Mare, who, along with the majority of ponies, wore the same costume.
"Very well, Madam Mayor, please show me the way."
"AWWW FUCKING HELL! Can't I get a break?! Seriously! Thanks for cock blocking me, Mayor Mare!"
Retaking a look, hoping that Mayor Mare was gone, Konrad saw Princess Luna walking towards the herd of ponies and away from him. The urge to just run out there screaming was very tempting, but the sight of a strange dirty, and bloody human running towards a princess would end up very badly. His options were now minimal as he sat there contemplating his next move.
"Great! Now, what am I going to do?! I need to get her attention, but how do I do it without putting the spotlight on me?"
As he pondered and pondered his next move, it suddenly hit him like a sack of bricks. A costume contest took place, and Princess Luna was going to present the prize on stage. If he could somehow get her attention when the winner was receiving the award, he could lure her backstage and finally be reunited. Not only that, but it would give her the best option of how she wanted to disclose his existence to her kingdom. As far as he knew, his existence was still a state secret, similar to an alien crash landing on earth known only by a few people.
If he was discovered and revealed prematurely, chaos could ensue. There was no way he wanted such a problem on Luna's hooves, and Konrad was determined to not be a burden to her.
"Better make my way over there; I should probably find a good spot to hide backstage. Hell, I'll even get to play where's Waldo with the ponies. Wonder who is dressed as what?"
As Konrad sneaked back into the alleyway like a thief into the night, a unicorn was getting ready for her entry into the costume contest, utterly unaware that the human she was dressing as was right there.
Lyra was so excited to finally have her costume in hoof and couldn't contain her glee any longer as she squealed in her room. Quickly setting out the costume on her bed, the mare ran to her closet and pulled out the necessary props she had made.
"Let's see, put the awesome human weapon thingy right there, then put the gloves, and....oh wait! The boots! I left them in the main closet in the hallway!"
Opening walking to her bedroom door leading to the hallway, Lyra was unexpectedly greeted by the sight of her roommate, who was wearing a candy costume similar to the ones on her cutie mark. Lyra couldn't help but find her costume's irony hilarious, but she didn't laugh.
"She went as herself. Bon Bon dressed as a Bon Bon! That's just like Spike dressing as a dragon! Irony, it's what's for dinner."
"Oh, hi Bon Bon! I just got my costume, and I'm getting ready for this thang!"
"Getting ready!? Lyra, the contest is starting now! What have you been doing all this time?"
Lyra took a step back from her roommate's revelation and turned her attention to the clock on the wall. Sure enough, the time for the costume contest was starting, causing Lyra's pupils to shrink in fear.
"It is?! Oh, sweet Celestia, it is! Buck! I'm so sorry Bon Bon!"
"Lyra! We need that money! And besides, you gave your lucky Sapphire away; you don't want it to go to waste."
"Yeah, I know; it took Rarity all day to make it. She looked tired as buck, but I just got it not too long ago."
Face hoofing, Bon Bon shook her head before saying,
"Well, hurry up and get there! You're lucky Mayor Mare hasn't noticed you're not there yet, and it's a good thing you're going last. And...Woah! What was that?!"
As Bon Bon trotted past Lyra, the unicorn was confused about what her friend saw. Bon Bon opened the window, stuck her head outside, and looked for something.
"What is it, Bon Bon?"
"I thought I saw...never mind, it's not important."
As Lyra shrugged her shoulders, Bon Bon closed the window and locked it for good measure.
"Well, in any event, go ahead and get ready. And when you are ready, just run over there and sneak in the back, you hear?"
Waving a hoof in dismissal, Lyra replied,
"Yeah yeah, I got it, mom. Now would you please give me some privacy? I need to prepare my..."
Holding up her costume and the sketch of the human, Lyra dramatically proclaimed, with sparkles shining in her eyes,
"Perfection!"
Rubbing her hooves together, Lyra smiled at the costume as the thought of ponies joining the human fandom filled her mind. Bon Bon merely shook her head before trotting out. With her roommate out of the way, Lyra put her costume on with one thing in mind.
"Man! Am I going to look good or what? This will scare the pants off them for sure! I wonder what Bon Bon saw anyway. Maybe it was a sexy man...Nah, who am I kidding?! Gotta keep that stuff out of the fandom; it's got no place in it."
Lyra smiled as she remembered the dream of the man she had last night as naughty thoughts suddenly filled her mind. Blushing, Lyra put on the main piece of the costume before saying,
The costume contest was boring to Luna as it slowly dragged on throughout the night. After the first contestant wearing a mime outfit had left, who pretended to go through an imaginary door, Luna sighed as the audience hoof stomped in applause. She couldn’t help but remember the old days when her mother would bring in a jester after a court session to brighten her mood. Both Celestia and herself would sit in on their parents’ court session to learn the first hoof on how to interact with the subjects of Equestria. This learning experience was engaging at first but slowly developed into boredom.
While the royal jesters were hilarious to her mother and sister, neither Luna nor her father was fond of them. The way they wore makeup and outrageous costumes rubbed her the wrong way, making Luna and her father suffer in silence.
”I’ll never think they are funny, not now, later, or ever. The only benefit to this is that my subjects are enjoying themselves. At least it’s going better than last year for them, especially Apple Bloom.”
Looking at Apple Bloom, Luna smiled as the Apple Sisters enjoyed the contest. Despite being a bit distance away, Luna could make out Apple Bloom and Applejack giggling at the sight of the mime’s costume. Luna chuckled, happy that another pony felt the same way as her.
”I wonder who will be next?”
Still standing at the podium was Mayor Mare, who pulled out a small paper card and read it aloud.
“And the next contestant is...the Dread Pirate Pipsqueak!”
As many ponies cheered, Luna’s hoof clapped with a genuine smile. Remembering the young colt from last year, Luna cheered “Hazzah!” as the colt came out on stage. To her, the costume was cute as he wore a mask covering half of his upper head with a black bandana. His costume also consisted of a cape, a loose shirt, pants in black color, and boots. And to top it off, he had a small toy rapier in his mouth. Several ponies went “Aww!” at the site before hoof stomping in applause.
”How wonderful his costume is! I can see he will grow into a handsome stallion one day.”
Clapping her hooves in applause, Pipsqueak waved to Luna before bowing. Shortly after he walked off stage, more contestants were introduced. Several ponies were Ninjas, Mummies of Saddle Arabia, and many fillies were dressed in fantasy-like Princess outfits. Several more ponies came and went on the stage, but as far as she was concerned, Pipsqueak had stolen the show as nopony cheered or hoof stomped as hard for any of the other contests.
”Well, I look forward to presenting him with the prize money. His parents will be proud.”
Princess Luna’s attention was turned back to Mare Mayor as she announced the next contestant.
“Ladies and Gentlecolts, our next and final contest is Miss Lyra Heartstrings. Her costume is...”
Princess Luna watched as Mayor Mare looked at her note card in disbelief. Ponyville’s leader then faced hoofed before announcing the costume to the audience in a deadpan voice.
“Human Zombie Killer.”
While several ponies in the audience either face hoofed or giggled, knowing Lyra’s Human hobbies, others were confused by the announcement. To dress up as a mythical being taught about in schools, one that was bipedal in nature, was something most ponies would never think of doing. Since ponies were four-legged at heart, it would be tough to pull off, considering how hard it was to stand and walk on the rear legs alone. While the audience murmured about the costume that was announced, Luna’s eyes went wide as saucers heard the announcement.
”Human!? Did....did she say human? And Zombie killer? But that’s what Konrad is! This better not be some sort of a sick joke, or I’ll scream at the plebeian fools!”
Waving her foreleg to the side of the stage, Mayor Mare put on a forced smile while everypony laughed when the mare in a human costume did not appear. Seeing nopony on the stage, Mayor Mare narrowed her eyes before quickly trotting to the back. Giggling and laughter could be heard at the public blooper unfolding before them while Luna’s heart beat rapidly. Luna was angered at the thought of some pony who just happened to pick a costume bearing Konrad’s description. There would be no way she would allow such an individual or anypony to insult her memory of him.
Even if, for some strange reason, the mare pulled off a good human costume, she would not present the prize money to her, especially if she looked terrible depicting him. As Luna sat with a dark scowl on her face, ponies continued to chatter as time passed. While there was nopony to be seen on stage, thoughts of Konrad went through her mind. She’d give anything to see him right now, anything really.
”If I have to kiss somepony’s hooves just to get a glimpse of him, I will do it. I’m going to be in mourning for some time. I just want this night to be over with. Oh, Konrad! I need thy presence more than ever! Where art thou, my Knight? I need your hands running through my mane! I need-”
Luna’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a collective gasp from the audience silenced everypony. On stage, the contestant dressed as a Human Zombie Killer stood before everypony with the stage light shining bright. Luna herself gasped at the sight before her and thought,
”OH MY FAUST!!”
Princess Cadance enjoyed the costume contest just as much as her aunt. Like Celestia, Cadance liked clowns and couldn’t help but find them funny. Shining Armor, on the other hoof, couldn’t stand them but would always put up with them if it meant making her smile. When the first contestant appeared, he reacted with disgust, just as she thought he would.
“Gah! Why did it HAVE to be clowns?! And the worst kind of all! MIMES!”
“Oh Shiny, don’t be such a scared colt!” replied Cadance as she lightly punched his foreleg.
Shining Armor shivered as the clown walked off stage before replying to his wife.
“I don’t know why but they just rub me the wrong way. Their faces....it’s so...gah!”
“As as opposed to zombies?”
Turning to his wife, Shining Armor gave her a bemused look and held up her forelegs in a mock defensive posture.
“Okay, I’m sorry, honey, I’m just teasing!”
Nuzzling his Cadance, Shining Armor sighed before turning his head back to the stage.
“I know; it’s just I don’t like clowns. One of them scared me as a colt, and I never got over it. Wish the Mayor didn’t dress as one.”
“It’s just one clown outfit; it’s not going to hurt you.”
Looking at the Mayor’s costume for a bit with a pair of scrutinizing eyes, Shining Armor smiled and nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, you’re right; I’ve been through much worse. Like that Human kicking my plot. Didn’t expect that one last night.”
As the next contestant came on stage, Princess Cadance narrowed her eyes at the thought of the human called Konrad hurting her husband. While it may have been a misunderstanding, she still couldn’t get over the idea that somepony, or somebody, in this case, hurting her husband enough that he’d have to go to the hospital. As the contest continued, Princess Cadance closed her eyes, and thoughts of being trapped in the cave beneath Canterlot resurfaced. She remembered the cold air and the laugh Queen Chrysalis would do every now and then to torment her.
She thought she was going to perish and starve to death in the cold and unloving place, never going to see her friends or true love ever again. The thought of losing him was simply too much for her. A few tears escaped and fell down her cheeks. When she heard of his fight with Konrad and saw him in the hospital, those fears resurfaced again. Cadence grabbed onto her husband and cried into his shoulder, which startled him at the sudden emotional outburst coming from his wife.
“Cadance! What’s wrong?”
As he nuzzled his wife to comfort her, Princess Cadance replied sobbingly,
“Please don’t die! Don’t ever leave me!”
Holding his wife in a hug, Shining Armor whispered to her,
“It’s fine, honey, I’m going to be around for as long as you live, and I’m NOT going to let anything take me away early.”
Kissing his wife and wiping away her tears, Shining Armor pointed at the stage and said,
“Let’s watch the contest, honey. Who knows? Maybe another clown will come out.”
Giggling at his attempt to cheer her up, Princess Cadance kissed her husband once more before turning her attention to the stage.
”I love him so much; he always makes me happy.”
The rest of the costumes were nothing special, but they were good nonetheless. That was until the last costumed was announced. Both Shining Armor and Princess Cadance dropped their jaws at the title.
“Human Zombie Killer? Is...is she serious?” asked Shining Armor.
”I swear if that Konrad happens to show up on stage, I don’t know how I will react. To see the sight of a real and not mention THE human that hurt my husband-.”
Her thoughts were cut off as the contestant appeared on stage. She simply just couldn’t believe what was before her.
”WHAT THE BUCK!?”
Konrad’s frustration of sneaking around started getting to him as he hid from yet another Guard Patrol. This time, however, the guards were Luna’s Night Sentinels. Having a more intimidating appearance compared to Princess Celestia’s Solar Guards, he had a feeling they were a bit more competent. While he didn’t have any evidence to back that assumption up, he was neither in the condition nor the mood to find out. He almost didn’t even notice them; it was simply by pure luck he spotted them flying in the air, looking around.
Luna’s moon turned out to be a blessing for the exhausted man, even if it wasn’t intentional.
”It’s always great to look at, and I can’t wait to see her again. If only I get just to get her damn attention!! I’m tired of all this sneaking. Need food...or sleep...Hell, both would be great.”
When the patrol had passed, he sneaked around another building and spotted a line of ponies wearing costumes. They were all facing one direction, which allowed the young man to move forward without being spotted. Hiding behind a wooden box, the man tried to take another peek at the ponies in line but decided against it. He chose to listen instead and could hear a couple of ponies talking to each other. Most of them simply talked about their costumes, with some compliments, while others spoke about how they made them. The conversation was boring for the most part until the voice of Mayor Mare was heard.
“Alright, everypony! Please get in order, and I’ll call you when it’s your turn to come on stage. When the contest is over, everypony will get to have a vote for the best costume, which means you’re all disbarred from voting for yourselves.”
A couple of “Aww!”s could be heard before the voice of Mayor Mare could be heard speaking from the stage. There was nothing Konrad could do at the moment except waiting. Konrad would take a quick peek at the contestants in line every now and then. It was interesting to see some normal ponies for a change up close. He knew a lot of bronies and pegasisters would love to be in his position, but he couldn’t help but feel homesick.
”I may not have been here that long, but damn am I going to feel out of place for a while. I will miss all sorts of stuff, like beer, America, and Taco Bell.”
Konrad’s stomach made an unexpected noise, making the man hold it in a vain effort to silence it. Fortunately, nopony heard the cries of begging coming from his stomach, allowing him to relax again.
”Maybe I’ll feel better when I get some damn food. Stupid guardian angel! He didn’t give me my cheeseburger...”
Taking another quick peak, the line of ponies had vanished, showing the tall tale sign that the contest was almost over.
”Sweet! This stupid shit is over! Now, how the hell do I get closer...without getting-”
Suddenly, the sight of an angry Mayor Mare with a clown face appeared, looking straight at him.
”Spotted....OH SHIT!”
The man’s options were non-existent, at least one that wouldn’t descend into violence, which was out of the question. The clown leader of the town trotted her way towards his spot near the box, making him panic. If he ran, he’d most likely be spotted by the Sentinels nearby. If he hit her or knocked her out, well, it wouldn’t end well for him. His only option was to play along with whatever she was angry about.
”You’ll be fine, Konrad. You survived fucking Story of the Blanks; you can survive a damn clown.”
“What in Equestria do you think you’re doing?! Everypony is waiting for you! Quit doing...whatever it is you’re doing back there!”
”Huh? Waiting for me? What is she talking about?”
“Ummm...sorry?”
Stomping on the ground with a hoof, Mayor angrily replied,
“Don’t waste your apologies on me! Now stand up and get on stage! You’re driving my patience to an end!”
”Get on stage?... Oh fuck, she thinks I’m a contestant! Which means I’m going to get on stage! In front of the entire population of Ponyville! This can’t end well.”
Standing up from his spot, the man towered above Mayor Mare, making her angry face take a complete reversal. The Mayor backed up a bit from her spot upon seeing the unexpected sight of a human standing so high. A few seconds of awkward silence took place before the mare gave him a look over.
“How...how did you do this?” pointing at his camo suit.
“Umm....”
“And your voice! It sounds so...”
“Manly?” replied a nervous Konrad.
“I was going to say like a stallion, but we’ll go with that. Seriously, how did you do all of this?”
”How did I do what? Oh, she must think I’m a pony dressed as a human. Seriously, who the fuck would dress up like a human? Oh well, I’ll just make up a bullshit excuse.”
“Uh, Magic?”
The Mayor rolled her eyes at his answer but seemed to accept it nonetheless.
“Figures...”, before muttering, “Unicorns”
“What was that?”
“Nothing, now please get on stage. You’ve wasted enough of their time.”
The thought of going on stage just reeked of disaster for the man. He had no clue how the rest of the ponies would react, and most likely, the Elements of Harmony would be there. His mind briefly imagined his identity getting revealed to the herd, which caused panic, making Princess Luna pick up the pieces. Thoughts of Luna shouting at everypony to be still reminded him of the old nightmare night episode, and he certainly didn’t want ponies to fear her anymore.
”This is bad, really bad. I can’t let that happen to her or to the town! It will be chaos! Gotta get out of this shit!”
“Say Mayor, I’m not feeling well. Why don’t you just say I dropped out and-”
With incredible speed, the Mayor ran around Konrad and began pushing him toward the stage. He didn’t have any time to react to the sudden burst of speed from the clown, simultaneously making him surprised and nervous. The Mayor began pushing him forcefully towards the stage, intent on putting him before everypony.
“Oh no, you don’t! You’ve been hounding me all day to get into this contest, and you’ll finish it!”
“But-”
“No! Get your rump on that stage! Stop struggling!”
The young man tried his best to resist getting on the stage, but with fatigue taking hold of him, not to mention the pain coming from his wounds, Konrad simply could do nothing. He tried his best to use his legs as a brake, but the Mayor’s determination was simply too strong for him to overcome.
”No! Not good, NOT GOOD!”
With one final shove, the man stared at him before everypony in the herd. The stage light suddenly shined on him, making him shield his eyes for a split second as everypony gasped at him. At that moment, he swore he could feel literally everypony focusing on him, like being looked at by a kid with a magnifying glass. Putting his hand behind his neck and giving a nervous smile, the man said to everypony,
Standing on the stage with what seemed like a million pairs of eyes, Konrad froze in fear. The silence after the collective gasp of Ponyville’s residents was painfully awkward to the man standing on stage. The wounds on his body seemed to be nothing compared to it. Despite his attempt at emulating Solid Snake, he was caught by a clown rather than a guard.
”I should have dressed as a clown myself because the Guards would be looking for military guys, not clowns. Maybe Peter Griffin was right after all...Fucking hell! Now, what do I do?!”
Giving the pony audience the biggest and most nervous smile in the world, Konrad clapped his hands before saying, “So, how ‘bout that moon, folks? Isn’t it great or what?”
”Doh! Stupid ice breaker!”
Many ponies looked at each other with confusion before turning their focus back to him. Apparently, they couldn’t get over the fact that he was standing with two oddly shaped legs. Even though there were minotaurs in the world, he was completely different in many ways. The fact that he was bleeding too seemed to be a bit shocking for the ordinary pony’s taste. Konrad could spot a mare shielding the eyes of her little filly with a foreleg, who simply swatted it away, eager to see the new and strange being before her. While feeling slightly insulted by the motherly mare in the audience, he realized that his appearance was different and perhaps too dark for the general audience.
”I’ve got to do something, might as well “act the part’. “
“Yup, folks! I’m just a regular Human Zombie Killer! Just got back from taking care of a few around here. I promise you won’t see them ever.” said Konrad while winking to the audience.
Walking around the stage to show off his human walking style, the crowd oohed and awed him. To them, he was Lyra Heartstrings, a local unicorn who had just pulled off an awe-inspiring physical feat and not to mention costume. The details of the human costume were so lifelike and stuck to the lore of human mythology faithfully. Many ponies whispered amongst themselves as to how Lyra could have pulled off such a thing.
Even magic spells weren’t known to do this, as many of the unicorns in the audience began piecing their knowledge of magic in an attempt to figure it out. Either way, the detail of the costume was very intimidating, very authentic looking, and very well executed. Seeing the man walk around and showing off his balancing skills was something the ponies couldn’t get enough of. Regardless of how they thought Lyra did it, a small hoof clap could be heard from a small filly.
Turning his head around, Konrad looked in the direction of the hoof clapping and saw the most adorable filly in the universe. Wearing Applejack’s stetson hat was none other than Apple Bloom, beaming the happiest smile in the world.
”Oh my God! It’s Apple Bloom! So much hhnng!”
Right next to her was Applejack smiling a look of approval at him. She held up her forehooves and began clapping along with her little sister. The action was as contagious as a virus, spreading through the audience like a wildfire. Soon other ponies joined in on the growing frequency of hoof clapping, making the applause pick up in noise gradually. Not long after, some cheering could be heard from the back, making the man look toward the louder sound. Jumping up and down in the distance was Pinkie Pie in a chicken costume, waving two party flags and blowing a kazoo.
The young man smiled at Pinkie Pie’s antics and had expected nothing less from her. While giving a thumbs up to the party mare, Konrad spotted Twilight Sparkle. The student of Princess Celestia sat there with her jaw open wide, apparently unable to comprehend Konrad’s presence.
”Well, it’s obvious they know I’m real. Bet Twilight Sparkle can’t understand how I survived that rainbow ray they shot at me.”
Next to Twilight Sparkle was Princess Celestia, wearing a similar look of surprise. It was the same look when the mane six had accidentally crashed the Grand Galloping Gala. Konrad’s stomach churned when he saw the regal Sun Princess turn to one of her Guards. With her lips moving and a hoof pointed at him, the Guard saluted and galloped off, no doubt carrying out an order Celestia gave him.
”Hopefully, just a precaution of crowd control. She wouldn’t do anything with Luna right there....wait, Luna is here!”
Mentally facepalmed himself for forgetting about Luna, Konrad turned his attention to her as the applause of ponies continued. The young man made eye contact with the Lunar Princess and lost himself again in her beauty. A smile of pure happiness formed on her face before she clapped with the herd. Even though she was a bit distance away, sitting on a raised platform/throne, he could hear her cheer, “Hazzah!”. A smirk formed on his face at the old school praise before bowing to her. After completing his bow, Konrad observed Princess Luna give him a rather suggestive wink.
”Woah, already flirting with me? This is awesome! I guess she really wants me.”
Returning a wink of his own, the man waved to the still clapping audience before Mayor Mare motioned for Konrad to leave the stage. Giving double peace signs with his hands raised, the man walked behind the stage, leaving the audience cheering for him still. For once, Konrad felt great that something in his sudden upside-down turned life was going right. His worries about causing a panic were washed away as he left the stage. Met him backstage, where the rest of Ponyville’s contestants appeared stunned at his costume or jealous.
”Heh, I look badass compared to them.”
“Sup guys!” said Konrad while waving to them.
“How did you do it?” asked a mare dressed as a mummy.
The man had no clue who this particular pony was but assumed she was one of the show’s background ponies. Giving her a grin while crossing his arms, which hurt due to the cut on his left arm, he laughed before saying,
“Magic, I don’t get to explain anything!”
Not realizing there were unicorns in the mini herd before him, two stallions, one unicorn, and an earth pony walked forward with insulted looks on their faces. One of them was Ninja, who pulled his mask off, revealing Meadow Song, while the other was a mime he didn’t recognize. Inwardly cringing at the mime costume, Konrad maintained his composure despite the sharp pain coming from his left arm.
“What do you mean? Magic can and always has been explained! What spell did you use then?”
Realizing that magic was understood here, Konrad had no clue how to answer the unicorn mime. He had to be careful as his cover could still be blown, and he came up with a somewhat “mature” question to rebut the stallion’s question.
“Hey! I thought mimes don’t talk? You’re out of character! Not cool man!”
The unicorn mime’s fast contorted into a look of seething hatred while several other ponies in the herd laughed. Meadow Song, with anger in his voice, asked Konrad,
“What do you mean “Man”? You’re still acting in character?”
”Oh, you have no idea, buddy.”
“Only the best stay in character! You don’t want to be out of character, do you?”
“It’s just a contest! There’s no need!” said Meadow Song, “Whatever, it doesn’t matter; you stink anyway!”
”Not as bad as your butt hurt attitude.”
As the angry stallions walked off, the rest of the ponies complimented Konrad on a job well done. Uncrossing his arms and feeling relief on his left arm, a colt dressed in a costume he didn’t recognize walked up to him.
“Excuse me, but I like your costume.”
Konrad realized that the colt before him was none other than Pipsqueak, a favorite of the young ponies in the show aside from Apple Bloom. Hearing the Tiny Tim-style voice made him mentally “hhnng” before giving the young colt a thumbs up. Pipsqueak looked at the thumb in amazement, as did several other ponies.
“That’s really cool! It’s like a minotaur’s hand but different!”
“Sure is, kid. I worked real hard at it.”
”More like born with it.”
“What are you supposed to be?”
Pipsqueak cutely swung his play sword around his mouth a bit before taking it out and replying,
“I’m the Dread Pirate of Trottingham!”
”Like the dread pirate Roberts...not sure if this is awesome or just plain cute. I think I’ll settle on both.”
“Well, I like it, kid; double thumbs up to you!”
As he gave Pipsqueak two thumbs up, Mayor Mare came backstage and called out to Konrad with a deadpan tone.
“Congratulations, you won the contest. Please come back on stage.”
”She doesn’t seem to be happy with me. Whatever....wait, I won?! Holy Shit! I won! Booyah!”
“See you later kid!”
While the rest of the ponies walked away with their heads lowered in disappointment, Pipsqueak gave him a friendly goodbye wave before trotting off happily. The man’s opinion of Pipsqueak went up after his brief encounter.
”Okay, that kid is just plain cool. Well, let’s get this over with.”
Walking back on stage with Mayor Mare, Konrad was greeted with loud applause, ponies cheering, and hoof clapping. He couldn’t resist smiling and waving to everypony, especially Luna, who appeared to be very happy seeing him again. The same was for Apple Bloom, who shouted a “Yeehaw!” before tossing her sister’s stetson hat in the air. He had no doubt she would hug him again afterward, and that was fine with him as far as he was concerned. Winking at Luna and waving to Apple Bloom, Konrad stood at the center of the stage as Mayor Mare returned to her podium, using an old-school voice speaker to address the herd.
“Ladies and Gentlecolts! Your vote has been cast, and the winner has been chosen!”
”Fuck yeah!”
While standing on the stage, Konrad noticed the arrival of two new ponies, Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash. The Element of Loyalty covered her eye with an ice pack while talking to Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. As Twilight Sparkle pointed a hoof in Konrad’s direction, Rainbow Dash turned her head, and a look of surprise could be seen on her face. The man swore he could feel the anger coming from her like a Sith Lord as her face quickly turned into an angry scowl. Konrad narrowed his eyes at her as his right hand balled into a fist.
”Great, I get to deal with you again sometime. Yeah, I’m sure you know it was me that hit you; I would do it again. Whatever, I won, and you lost.”
The man turned his attention back to Mayor Mare’s announcement, breaking eye contact with Rainbow Dash.
“And for winning the contest, you shall be presented with 1000 Bits from Princess Luna!”
”Winning 1000 bits AND get them presented by Princess Luna? Oh damn! This just got awesome! I think my new life here might be fine after all.”
As the man smiled at Princess Luna, who gave him another suggestive wink before holding up a bag of bits with her magic, the happy moment was brought to a halt as a voice of a mare shouted,
”IT’S A FAAAAAAKE!”
”Or maybe it won’t....fuck! Who’s calling me out?”
Everypony in the herd gasped at the unexpected shout from the back and parted like the Red Sea, revealing a sight Konrad would never forget for the remainder of his life.
”Sweet mother of God....ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!”
”Liar! Cheater! Faker!” shouted the now revealed mare.
Standing on her rear legs, the mare began walking forward, albeit clumsily, with a pair of golden-colored eyes angrily narrowing at Konrad. The man simply could not believe the mare’s sight advancing towards him as she walked through the herd of ponies staring at her. Their faces were similar to when the mane six wore the terrible dresses they had asked Rarity to make and subsequently wore at her fashion show. Konrad’s opinion was stronger than the ponies looking at her, who continued to walk awkwardly on her rear legs.
”I can’t believe what the fuck I’m seeing! A fucking pony dressed like me?! Why, and more importantly WHO would dress like me?!”
After a minute of awkwardly attempting to walk like a human, the mare fell forward on her belly and grunted in anger.
“Oh, just buck it to Tartarus!” shouted the mare in frustration.
Getting on all fours, the mare quickly galloped to the stage and jumped up. Lyra stood on her hind legs without wasting time and began poking him with one of her forehooves covered in loose-fitting gloves.
“Who do you think you are to steal MY costume?! I worked hard on this, and now all my efforts have been wasted because of you! You stole my human costume idea!”
As the crowd of ponies looked at each other in confusion and began whispering amongst themselves, Konrad took a look at the mare confronting him. She wore a camouflage suit which was a near replica of his own but tailored for a pony. Two small pony-sized black boots were on her rear hooves that looked almost comical. To the man, it was a wonder how she even managed to stay up so long with the small but feet purposed boots. He couldn’t see Lyra’s mane due to the hood, with a green scarf covering her face. Only her eyes could be seen, a golden color.
”Wait a minute...this mare seems familiar-”
His thoughts were interrupted as the mare poked him several times more, making his chest suffer in agony from his badly bruised ribs. Letting out a small grunt in pain, the mare shouted, “Well, faker!? Cat got your tongue? Or are you just too embarrassed to have been caught?
”Fuck! That poking hurts! Who the hell is this?”
The man stopped as he noticed a few more details; the first was that she had a prop resembling his AKM rifle. It was clumsily taped together with a hastily carved piece of wood that served as the buttstock, and the body and a few plastic-looking pipes painted black or scribbled with ink, a detail Konrad couldn’t quite tell.
”She’s using a prop to imitate my AK. It looks like a 5-year-old put it together.”
The second was her voice; he recognized it from the Carousel Boutique. The man desperately searched through his mind quickly as he could while guards of both Luna and Celestia surrounded the audience for a potential panic. Remembering where he heard the voice back in Rarity’s boutique, the man noticed another small but important detail.
Her tail was sticking out of the back, giving away her identity as Konrad thought,
”LYRA HEARTSTRINGS?! What the fuck! No way! She’s a Human fangirl in this dimension?! Now I really wish I was in the canon version of Equestria! She dressed like me!! Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck-”
Feeling another poke on his chest, the man shook himself out of his stupor, seeing Lyra continuing to glare at him. Having enough grief from ponies, he decided to go all out and make the best of it. And by making the best of it, Konrad decided to insult her costume.
“Excuse me? But I believe YOU are the faker! Your costume looks like it came from an outhouse! Folks, who looks fake? Me or her?”
Several ponies in the audience looked at each other in confusion, not knowing what to make of the two before them now. After a few moments of silence, ponies began to laugh at Konrad’s statement, making Lyra blush in embarrassment. But the man didn’t stop there; letting his anger get the best of him, he continued to belittle the mare before him.
“Gloves? They don’t fit you at all! I could probably use those with MY hands.”
As he wiggled his fingers, Lyra looked at them as if she were in a trance. Like all the others, she tried to figure out how lifelike Konrad made them, not realizing they were real.
“And your boots! You don’t have any feet, missy; they look goofy on you, but not goofy like your fake weapon.”
Shaking her head, Lyra glared at him and tried her best to defend her costume.
“Hey, bud! Nopony has no clue what it’s supposed to be! It’s a human-”
”Oh no, I’m not about to get lectured about guns, especially from a pony of all beings.”
Interrupting Lyra, Konrad held a finger up in the air, and the mare oddly seemed to understand the gesture and stopped talking. Beginning his lecture, Konrad said, “A human projectile weapon based on explosive cartridges that propels a metal slug over vast distances, causing both wounds and death. Is that what you were going for, sweetie?”
Lyra was silent; if her face wasn’t covered, Konrad would have seen her jaw drop. Turning around to look at the audience, the man noticed Twilight Sparkle taking notes with a quill and paper. Realizing that he should have left that part out, the man cursed to himself, knowing that Twilight would ask him more details later, something he did not want to do. Pinkie Pie was no longer cheering but watching with her mouth wide at the scene before her. Rainbow Dash simply held the ice pack to her eye and glared at him some more. Scootaloo noticed this and did her best to imitate her idol’s angry glare but only succeeded in making the man go “D’aww!” on the inside.
”Now that’s just plain cute.”
Turning his attention back to Lyra, the man smirked as he asked, “Was that what you were going for?”
Unable to comprehend how Konrad came up with her headcanon explanation of human weaponry exactly word for word, Lyra struggled with her response.
“B-but...I...you...”
“Aha!” shouted Konrad while pointing the finger at her. “See, folks! Proof that she copied me!”
Slamming the prop gun on the stage, Lyra poked him one more time before shouting, “But I signed up! I know I did! Mayor Mare, this is me! He’s the impostor!”
The Mayor looked back and forth between the two, not knowing what to do. A devious smile crossed his face before Konrad turned to the audience and said,
“Folks, it seems we’re at an impasse. It’s now a tie-breaker vote!”
Several ponies looked back and forth before deciding to go along with the new vote. The Mayor shrugged her shoulders, giving the man the green light to go forward. Lyra turned her attention to the herd, nervous about casting a vote.
“Okay, folks! Raise your hooves to vote. All in favor for...” Konrad continued, pointing the finger at Lyra,” ‘her,” vote now.”
Very few ponies raised their hooves for Lyra, with Rainbow Dash doing it out of spite and Scootaloo. The other two ponies were Pinkie Pie and Bon Bon, who the man noticed were dressed as a piece of candy. The man mentally facepalmed at the sight of Bon Bon’s costume before saying, “All in favor of me, raise now!”
Practically everypony raised their hooves for Konrad, making the man smile. His biggest supporter was Apple Bloom, who smiled at him and made the man wish he could just jump off the stage and hug her.
”Hooray! Thanks, Apple Bloom!”
What Konrad failed to notice was the look of disappointment and hurt on Lyra’s face as her face cover fell off. It wasn’t long before tears started to form in her eyes, making a very close friend of hers dressed in a candy costume furious.
“That’s all, folks! Now your highness...” said Konrad as he bowed in Luna’s direction. “I’ll gladly take that those-AAAHHHH!”
Without warning, Lyra jumped on top of Konrad and began furiously tugging at his face as best as she could. Feeling his body straining due to his wounds and the tugging of his face, the man grabbed Lyra’s legs and began pushing the mare off him. Several ponies gasped at the comical struggle on stage while several solar and lunar guards made their way towards the altercation. Pinkie Pie’s jaw dropped in horror at seeing what she thought to be the “super-cool-best-awesome-good-human” having his face tugged off while Rainbow Dash laughed. Twilight Sparkle gave her mentor a worried look while Princess Celestia gave her a look of worry herself.
Shining Armor’s eyes were wide as saucers as he wondered how the human that had beaten him in a fight was struggling against a silly unicorn mare. Princess Cadence had a smug look of satisfaction on her face as the human suffered another tug of his face. Apple Bloom’s ears lowered as a look of fear took over seeing her best human friend get hurt, while Applejack watched helplessly and winced at the man’s face getting tugged. Luna watched with her eyes narrowed in disapproval as the mare continued to assault the man of her heart. As more guards walked around the audience backstage, Konrad struggled as Lyra yanked on his face.
”FUCK! Lyra, be cray cray! Get the fuck off of me!”
“WHY WON’T THIS MASK COME OFF?!”
”Because this ain’t a fucking Scooby Doo episode! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
With a final push, Lyra flew off Konrad and landed on her plot hard. Wiping his now sore face, Konrad looked annoyed at the human-crazed unicorn. Shaking herself out of her daze, Lyra looked back at the assumed costume thief and gasped when she realized the truth. His face was natural, and the man swore he could see sparkles gleaming around her face as it bore a look of amazement.
”Uh oh...this isn’t good. Please don’t say that I’m-”
“HE’S REAL!” shouted Lyra.
”-what you just said...I’m so fucked now.”
Turning to the audience, the man saw the eyes of everypony go large as a collective gasp was heard coming from the herd of ponies. All noise ceased in the town of Ponyville as the residents looked onward, shocked to see a mythological being right before their eyes. Nervousness took over the man as he stared at the audience with sweat coming down his forehead.
“Uhhhhh.....”
”C’mon! Think of something! Joke! Anything!”
“Boo?” said Konrad.
It was a decision Konrad would regret immediately, and nothing, not even a facepalm, would suffice for how bad the young man screwed up. First contact was always a fragile situation, and he blew it spectacularly.
Konrad regretted many things in his life, such as not telling his parents he loved them often enough, playing too many video games, and failing to ask his high school crush out on a date. However, saying “Boo” to a herd of panic-prone ponies was new.
“Oh god, I really screwed up…wait! They’re not doing anything!”
Sure enough, everypony stared at him with their jaws wide open, unable to process Konrad’s apparent authenticity as a human.
“Phew! Maybe they won’t panic at all. I guess I’m in the—”
As if Murphy’s Law could hear his thoughts, the residents of Ponyville broke out in a fit of panic. Both young and old ponies ran everywhere while screaming their lungs out.
“-clear…You know what? Screw it; I don’t care anymore. I’m too tired to even try.”
With a look of bemusement on his face, Konrad stared at the sight of chaos before him, not bothering to help alleviate the situation. Parents grabbed their foals and immediately ran towards their homes to avoid being trampled on while others ran in circles screaming. Stands that had bowls of candy and other various treats were knocked over by ponies not paying attention to where they were going, while others ran into each other. Even more ridiculous was the sight of a wagon wheel rolling through the middle of the herd. He looked on as the wheel slowly made its way towards Roseluck, wearing a dress he swore was stolen from a Disney movie. She screamed as if her life was about to end, making the man facepalm.
“Oh god! This is too painful even for me to watch.”
The wheel stopped dead in its tracks and fell just a hair’s length away on its side. Roseluck blushed in embarrassment for overreacting while Konrad shook his head at her. The two made eye contact causing the mare to scream before running away.
“Whatever… You’re just a stupid Beauty and the Beast copycat.”
As the panic continued, Konrad realized that there were two things he had forgotten about; Apple Bloom and Princess Luna. Konrad, now worried, began searching for Apple Bloom; her safety was first and foremost to him. Not having the luxury of Ruby’s special talent at his disposal, he did his best to search for the young country filly, fearing she may have been trampled in the stampede of ponies.
“Where is she?! Where is she?! It’s like trying to find Waldo on crack-oh there she is!”
His attention was now focused on Apple Bloom, who had taken refuge on the wagon her brother had pulled not too long ago. Applejack and Big Macintosh were inside the wagon, surrounding their little sister to protect her from the ponies galloping around. Relieved that Apple Bloom was safe, he turned his attention to Princess Luna, who had a worried look on her face watching her subjects running and screaming. He knew they would stop if the Royal Canterlot Voice were to be used, but the odds of that happening weren’t very high, considering the last time she used it.
“I’ve got to do something! But what?! I’m the cause of all this! They won’t listen to me! Luna, I could really use your help.”
As if she could hear his mind, Luna spread her wings and flew right onto the stage, standing next to him. The Royal Guards, both Solar and Lunar alike, rushed onto the stage with lighting precision so fast that even Konrad was impressed. He had no doubt it was to make sure he wouldn’t do anything to harm her. While it was understandable, seeing how his first encounter with them and Shining Armor nonetheless greatly annoyed him and. Raising a hoof in the air, Princess Luna shouted in her Royal Canterlot voice ever so loud,
“BE STILL!”
Konrad covered his ears to reduce the noise damage now inflicted on his ears. The ringing of her voice could still be heard as the man cringed.
”Damn! It’s so fucking loud! Wait, they stopped!”
Looking at the herd before him, he noticed that everypony had stopped screaming, running, and coming out of hiding. Seeing their Princess on stage with the scary human surrounded by Guards, the residents of Ponyville felt a sense of safety, but more importantly, a sense of curiosity. Many ponies approached the stage, prompting Konrad to notice a few things. The first was that some of their costumes were ruined by running around. One filly, in particular, looked sad that her ladybug costume was destroyed, making the man feel really guilty.
“If I hadn’t said “Boo,” maybe they wouldn’t have panicked, and her costume wouldn’t have been ruined. Now I feel like a dick…”
The second thing he noticed was the parents bringing them out of their homes or from the places they hid. He could see the various colts and fillies hiding behind their parents. Despite being scared, their curiosity would eventually get the better of them. A few foals would take a peek at him every now and then before retreating back behind their parents for safety. He couldn’t help but find their peeking eyes adorable, reminding him of how he once acted as a kid when he saw something scary to hide behind his parents. The last thing he noticed was how silly some of the place ponies chose to hide.
Some hid underneath a cloth draped table while tails stuck out, compromising their cover. A stallion he didn’t recognize stuck his head out from a pile of hay used as decoration near the candy stands. It was incredibly ridiculous that he was sporting a beard made entirely of hay. The last pony he saw was Derpy coming out of the apple bobbing tank. The mare made him laugh on the inside as she stared at him with her eyes cutely crossed and jaw opened in shock.
“Oh, Derpy, I haven’t even met you yet. I like you already!”
As the ponies continued to approach the stage, Princess Luna turned to Konrad, giving him a wink. After struggling through the battle of his life, he knew if there was anypony he could trust, it was her. Not wanting to ruin whatever plan she had, the man stood still, trying his best to look neutral and non-threatening, a task easier said than done.
“Should I smile and wave? Nah, I’ll just screw it up for her.”
“Everypony! Do not fear this being next to me, for he is a friend to ponykind!”
Everypony looked at each other in confusion but nonetheless turned their attention back to Luna, eager to hear what she had to say.
“I present to you, Konrad Ford! The Last Human!”
Several ponies gasped while others quickly conversed about the human before them. While the grateful for Luna’s assistance, hearing her call him “The Last Human” made Konrad sad, but he did his best not to show it. In many ways, he realized it would be difficult for him to relate to the ponies on many levels considering he was neither born as one nor raised among them. They would never be able to understand many jokes unique to humanity, nor would they get any references he may throw at them. There was also a much larger problem, explaining everything about humanity.
“Great, they’re probably going off the assumption that humanity used to live in Equestria long ago. It will blow their minds if I tell them that I’m from a different universe and that they’re a cartoon where I’m from! It will also scare the shit out of them, and I can’t let that happen! I won’t let them experience the meltdown that I went through not long ago.”
“Yes! This is the last human and proof they are not the myth we believed them to be! He is not our enemy, my dear subjects, but rather our friend!”
Konrad inwardly cringed hearing the title again as the ponies continued to whisper and gossip about him. To say he was uncomfortable was the understatement of the year. In what seemed to be 24 hours, he was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted; he felt like he could collapse at any moment. As the man stood on the stage, the Lunar Princess continued her speech.
“I know he may seem intimidating, but I assure everypony that he is no threat. I trust him with my life, as he already has saved me in my time of need. He was introduced to you as a “zombie killer,” a title he has earned.”
Not expecting Luna to admit he was indeed a killer of zombies, the fact that she confirmed their existence scared many ponies and surprised Konrad.
“Okay…what are you getting at Luna?”
Before the ponies could get worked up again, Luna put a hoof in the air, effectively silencing them.
“Do not worry, my dear subjects! Yes, I know it instills fear to hear the existence of Blood Hooves be confirmed. However, due to the valiant and skillful efforts of Konrad and the Royal Guard, they are no more. Equestria is safe, and we owe much to the human you see next to me.”
As she finished her sentence, Princess Luna gave Konrad a wink, making him blush subtly.
“Damn, I feel like I’m losing my military bearing. Hold it in...”
“That’s right! He the bravest friend Ah ever had! He saved my life from those scary things!”
Gasps were heard as a sea of ponies parted from Apple Bloom. Unable to hold it in, Konrad gave the biggest smile in all of Equestria.
“Okay, forget it! Apple Bloom is too damn adorable!”
Many ponies looked at each other in disbelief at what was said by the little filly, prompting Applejack to step in herself.
“You heard her everypony! You all know my family, and we don’t raise liars. She’s telling y’all the truth!”
Everypony gasped again before quickly talking among themselves.
“Humans are real?!”
“He saved her and Princess Luna from zombies?! Wow!”
“His legs are weird.”
“Keep your mouth shut; it will only make you sink faster.”
Standing still, Konrad did his best to keep his bearing on stage as he struggled to hear the comments about him. His body was still sore, the open cut on his arm wasn’t getting any better, and stage fright was now officially a new discomfort for the young man. Turning his attention to Princess Luna, Konrad noticed her appearance closer in detail. Her mane was flowing with sparkles, clean, and a smile of happiness was ever so present. He still couldn’t but help but be entranced by her beauty.
“I got the hots for a pony...my life is weird, but hey, screw it! Got to make the most of what I have.”
Noticing the man was staring at her, Princess Luna smiled and winked at the man. This action didn’t go unnoticed as Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at her sister and the man on stage. Turning her attention back to the residents of Ponyville, Princess Luna continued,
“Applejack speaks the truth, citizens of Ponyville; he has also saved Apple Bloom’s life. What further proof do you need? Please do not fear him as you did to me.”
Several ponies in the crowd frowned in shame as they remembered how last year’s visit with Princess Luna went. Suddenly, a small pair of hooves could be heard clapping, prompting Konrad to find the origin of the sound. As he looked around the herd of ponies before him, Konrad could single out the source as one pony, Apple Bloom. The young country foal was smiling as she clapped and cheered,
“Yee-haw! Welcome to Ponyville Konrad!”
As if the man couldn’t be any happier, he felt his heart grow three sizes larger.
“Gah! I’m suffering an “HNNGH” attack! Too damn adorable!”
As the man suffered an overabundance of cuteness, Apple Bloom’s actions spread like wildfire. At first, it was a few ponies, but within seconds, almost everypony began to cheer and clap for the man on stage. Pinkie Pie could be seen from the back jumping up with confetti and streamers coming seemingly from nowhere. Konrad simply smiled and waved to the party pony in the back, making her night even more special than it already was. Even Konrad could see Twilight Sparkle giggling at her friend’s crazy antics before looking at the human and clapping herself. The man’s fears or worries about coming to Ponyville were now gone.
“Yes! I’m a fucking hero! I’m so glad nothing went wrong! I mean, this is turning out better than I imagined! Nothing can go-”
As if Murphy’s Law was back for seconds, Konrad felt his leg being held by something VERY strong. Snapping out of his euphoric celebration, Konrad looked down to find the source and noticed something he thought was no longer a factor.
“MY HERO!” shouted Lyra Heartstrings.
Feeling his stomach turn, Konrad knew all too well about the fandom version of Lyra as it was apparent she existed in this universe.
“Oh.....Fuck... I’m screwed.”
“Luuunaaa....assistance please?”
Unfortunately for Konrad, her attention was turned elsewhere as she waved to the crowd, oblivious to the scene evolving behind her. The man nervously smiled at the crowd, waving his good arm while trying to wiggle Lyra off his leg. Several of the Solar Guards looked at each other, unsure what to do with the scene before them. The man tried to shake her off several times, but the mint green-colored mare would have none. Looking down at Lyra, Konrad gave her a look of annoyance as he continued in vain to shake her off his leg.
“Hey! Get off me!”
“You saved me!”
Rolling his eyes, the man made eye contact with the mare.
“No, I didn’t, you weren’t there, and I didn’t save you personally. Now please go off my leg!”
“Real! I can’t believe you’re real!”
Upon hearing that, Konrad made it his top priority to get her off his leg. Bending down to grab her forelegs, the man began prying her off, a task that was easier said than done. The pain from his wounded arm was rising to extreme levels as his arm tensed and exerted what little energy he had left.
“Get off me!”
“Human! Real! So real...”
Konrad’s balance was becoming increasingly tricky; with every attempt, he made to pry her off, she doubled down with more strength. Several Ponies ceased clapping, unsure what to make of the scene before them or why Lyra was so intent on hugging his leg. Others assumed her being on the stage was planned entertainment and continued their applause. Konrad wobbled back and forth, struggling to maintain his balance while trying to get rid of the mark on his leg. Realizing he was too exhausted and not willing to use more forceful measures, Konrad realized there was one thing he could do.
Walk off stage with Lyra in tow.
“Well, that’s all, folks!”
“It isn’t but damn, do I wish it was!
Princess Celestia couldn’t believe the sight before her eyes as Konrad, the last human was alive. A mix of emotions flowed through Princess Celestia as she tried to process the view of her sister on stage with him. Relieved that he was alive and that she and the Element Bearers were not responsible for his death. Confused as to how he disappeared along with the other two ponies and the re-appearance. And finally, unnerved as to why he was not petrified at all.
“Could he be somehow immune to the Elements of Harmony? If so, what else could he do?”
“It would seem so, my student...” replied Princess Celestia, seemingly trailing off in thoughts.
Jumping up and down in excitement, Pinkie Pie cheered as the ponies clapped and celebrated Luna’s introduction of Konrad, who stood there sporting a sheepish smile. Confetti and streamers appeared out of nowhere, something that always confused Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia didn’t mind a bit; however, Pinkie Pie did; it was of no concern to her.
“Woohoo! He’s alive! Oh yeah! ♫Gom, Konrad! It’s your birthday! Not really! I don’t knooOOoow! Go, Konrad♫”
Sporting a small smile, Princess Celestia found her antics as amusing as ever.
“Oh Pinkie Pie, you are the true embodiment of Laughter. Never change who you are.”
As the herd of ponies continued to clap and cheer for the man on stage, Princess Celestia knew she had to get answers and wanted them as soon as possible. Had Princess Celestia known he was alive for sure, she would have kept him from the public. Knowing that Equestria’s citizens tended to panic at the unknown, she would have loved to reduce that possibility as much as possible. Now that Konrad was out for all of Ponyville to see, it wouldn’t be long before the entire Kingdom would know too. She could see it already, the court session filled with ponies demanding and begging for information on the human.
“Soon, it won’t be long before the truth of Sunny Town. Not to mention what he may know...”
Thoughts of less than reputable parties taking an interest in him were also concerned for her. If he indeed was the last of his kind, he would need to be looked after. It was, after all, the least she owed him for saving her sister’s life and the life of a foal. Princess Celestia still felt guilty for wanting Konrad to be nothing more than another statue in the garden, right next to Discord of all beings. She would make this up to him and show Konrad that Equestria would be a great place for him to live his life.
“At least they are receiving him well, thanks to Luna. This may turn out well after all. Now I wonder what that winking was all about...”
As the ponies continued to cheer for the man, Princess Celestia noticed the mare known as Lyra Heartstrings suddenly grab his leg. Her stomach sank as she knew what was about to happen.
”No...please don’t. Not when everything has gone so well.”
Pointing to the stage, Twilight Sparkle said,
“Uhh...Princess Celestia, I think something-”
“Is wrong; I know my student.”
“Awww! He’s already making friends! I wanna hug a human!” said Pinkie Pie.
The human on stage looked down and tried multiple times to rid himself of the mark on his leg. Even from this distance, Princess Celestia could see the poor human was wounded, bleeding from an open wound. No matter how hard the human tried, the mare simply would not budge. And to make it worse, the crowd was still giving applause to the scene before them, with Luna being oblivious to it all. Waving a hoof at her sister to get her attention, Princess Celestia then pointed to Konrad, hoping she could assist him. Princess Luna, however, smiled and waved back, happy that Konrad was alive and well, not knowing the scene behind her.
As much as she strived to always carry herself regally, Princess Celestia could not but help face hoof at the situation. Now Princess Celestia could feel the inevitable disaster coming, similar to that of last year’s Grand Galloping Gala. While she did not mind the disaster back then, she most certainly wishes the same would not happen this time. Once again, Twilight Sparkle stood next to her teacher, unsure what to do at the scene before them.
“I-uh, I-um...should we run this time?”
“No, Twilight, we will watch and hope for the best this time.”
“Oh dear...” said Twilight as she lowered her head.
But the disaster of epic proportions never came. Instead, the scene evolved somewhat differently than anypony could have expected. Instead of the human taking a swing at the mare, just like he did to Rainbow Dash, Konrad did something completely unexpected.
He gave a big, seemingly fake smile, waved to the herd of ponies, and comically stepped sidestepped off stage.
“Oh, thank goodness! I thought he was going to hit her! It would seem we will be spared chaos for now.”
As Konrad, along with Lyra, finally disappeared off stage, the ponies suddenly stopped cheering and clapping. Princess Luna, who was still unaware of what happened, raised a hoof while cheering,
“Huzzah!”
Instead of cheering, the ponies returned with silence, confused that the human was no longer on stage. The fact a mare was dragged along with him didn’t help the awkward silence that was now present. Confused that the citizens of Ponyville were not cheering, Princess Luna turned around and noticed that both Lyra and Konrad were now absent from the stage. Worried and not to mention embarrassing about her cheer, Princess Luna blushed before saying,
“I, um...Well, I bid thee farewell! Goodnight, and enjoy the...candy! Yes, that’s it!”
“Oh Luna, just go.”
As if she could hear her sister’s thoughts, Luna quickly galloped backstage, with Royal Guards following her. The entire town was now confused, wondering why the human dragged a mare with him and why she was holding his leg in the first place. The herd of ponies, both young and old, eventually dispersed, chatting about the strange turn of events. Only Apple Bloom, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Princess Cadence, Shining Armor, and herself were now left.
“Well, that certainly didn’t turn out how I expected it would.” said a relieved Princess Celestia.
“Can we go backstage and see what’s going on? My sister would love to see him right now, and I owe him my gratitude,” asked Applejack.
“Most certainly! It’s time to give him our sincere apologies as well.”
“Count us out; Shiny and I will retire for the night. He’s still exhausted from earlier, right honey?”
Looking back at his wife, somewhat confused, Shining Armor replied,
As curious as he was to find out what happened to Konrad, Shining Armor dropped the subject. There was no way he would argue with his wife, and sleeping next to her once more was something he would never pass up. Looking back to the stage, the Shining Armor replied,
“Eh, he’ll be fine. Besides, I’m sure I’ll see him again soon. Later Twiley!”
Waving to her brother and sister-in-law, Twilight Sparkle smiled, happy that everything was going well.
“Bye! See you in the morning! Pinkie Pie, do you want to come with us?”
“No thanks, Twilight, I have to get back to Sugarcube Corner and plan for his party! I can’t wait! Lalalalaaaa!”
Pinkie Pie suddenly turned tail and scurried off just as a chicken would, straight to Sugarcube Corner. Princess Celestia still found Pinkie Pie amusing as the mare finally disappeared from view. Turning to Twilight Sparkle, Apple Bloom, and Applejack, Princess Celestia said,
“Well, I do believe we have a human to meet. Are you ready to see him again, Apple Bloom?”
“Yes, your highness! I can’t wait!” replied Apple Bloom with a slight jump.
Both Applejack and Twilight Sparkle smiled at her reply, happy to see things make a turn for the better. As the four made their way to the stage, Princess Celestia hoped that whatever compelled Lyra to grab onto Konrad was over.
“I hope my sister has sorted out that issue. I wonder how they’re doing right about now.”
“GET OFF ME!” yelled Konrad.
”NOO!”
“Let go of him this instant, you deranged plebeian!”
”FUCK THIS HURTS!”
For the last minute or two, Konrad continued prying the unicorn mare off him. Even with the assistance of Princess Luna’s magic, it was not enough to help Konrad get rid of Lyra. The Guards surrounding the three strugglings had no clue what to do, confused at the bizarre sight before them. Annoyed and tired of the situation, Konrad quickly brainstormed before coming up with the idea that made his stomach churn.
He was going to tickle her.
“I’m going to hate myself for this later, but damn, this has got to stop!”
Looking down at Lyra, Konrad quickly extended his hands and grabbed her sides. Using his fingers, the man tackled her as best as he could. Thoughts of fanfics and fan art of ponies being tickled surged through his mind, making his stomach churn. He never understood tickling and considered it on par with a fetish. No matter how it was portrayed, it was something that always creeped him out. And here was doing that very same thing on the fandom’s designated human-loving mare, Lyra.
Lyra’s eyes instantly lit up as she felt his fingers touching her sides. An involuntary grin was plastered on her face before the mare started laughing hysterically. Upon witnessing the tickling, Princess Luna ceased tugging on Lyra’s tail with her magic. Luna’s jaw dropped as she was shocked at the sight before her.
“Oh God! Now she’s going to take this the wrong way! Please don’t be a tickle freak!”
“Ahahaha! Stop that! It tickles!” shouted Lyra as she let go of his leg.
“That’s the plan. Wait! HOT DAMN I’M FREE!”
Seeing that he was now free, Konrad immediately ran as far as he could away from Lyra. Seeing that the human was no longer in her grasp, the unicorn immediately got up and tried to run to him. Two Guards immediately intercepted her before she could get to the human, who was now standing behind Princess Luna.
“Wait! There’s so much I want to ask you!” cried Lyra as the Guards restrained her.
“Yeah, sure, like can you take my leg to go? Oh, and thanks for finally doing something, guys,” replied Konrad.
Several of the Guards gave Konrad the stink eye, ignoring it in return. On the other hand, Luna was furious at Lyra and wanted to know why the mare was crazed toward him in the first place.
“What in the wide world of Equus made you think you could just grab him like that. He is not a foal’s toy!” shouted Luna as she stomped the ground with a hoof.
“He’s a human! He’s real! I made my costume based off of him!”
“Oh God, please don’t tell me she just happened to have a dream of me!”
“Based off of him? How could you have done that!? Nopony has seen him until now!” asked Luna.
“I had a dream of him!”
”NOPE! NOPE LEVELS TO THE MAX!”
“And he’s just like everything I’ve ever dreamed off! It’s all real! Take that haters!” said Lyra while raising a hoof in defiance.
“Haters? The only one who is going to hate you shall be me! Guards, release her, and let me deal with this myself!”
As Princess Luna’s right eye began twitching and magic powered up on her horn, Konrad knew soon what would happen next. The Guards obeyed as they were told, leaving a now scared Lyra’s Heartstrings. As creeped out as he was the human next to a human-loving Lyra, Konrad felt she didn’t deserve the wrath of Princess Luna. Taking a deep breath, Konrad stepped between the two mares, holding his hands up.
“Stop! Calm down, both of you! Luna, as strange as it is, her dreaming of me...”
Looking back at Lyra, Konrad received a bright smile from the mare still dressed in a costume similar to his camouflage. Returning a nervous smile of his own before looking back at Luna, Konrad continued,
“...was her dream. She couldn’t have known I existed, and it’s understandable why she would be very excited to see somebody from her dream.”
“Somebody?! I knew it! Humans DO use that term! This is SO cool!”
Luna’s eyes narrowed at her before Konrad continued,
“And I did sorta jump in on the contest on accident and took her place like a jerk.”
“But they voted for you...not a fake like me.”
Konrad turned and saw Lyra with her head lowered to the ground and felt a wave of guilt. As great as it would be to keep the money, he knew he’d be fine without it.
“I probably shouldn’t act like a dick and keep it in the first place. I’d rather not make myself look bad since I’m here for life.”
Taking the bag of bits from his pocket, Konrad walked over to Lyra while Luna watched with caution. Noticing Konrad was next to her too, Lyra looked up and saw the bag of bits in his hand.
“Maybe, but you have good taste and pulled it off well, in my opinion. Besides, I’m the real human, and I say you win.”
Looking at Konrad and then the bag of bits, Lyra stood on her hind legs and hugged the man. Luna’s eyes lit up again, and the look of rage was plastered on her face. A few of the Royal Guards stood back away from her, not wanting to be in the way should she release her wrath upon the unicorn mare. With a look of nervousness on his face, besides being red, the man tapped the mare’s shoulder. Lyra looked at him with a smile as Konrad made eye contact. Her golden eyes reminded him too much of Ruby’s eyes and her genuine love for him.
As memories of Ruby surged through his mind once more, Konrad couldn’t help but feel the heartache associated with her. It was something he didn’t want to experience again.
“And Lyra was it?”
“Yup! That’s my name! Lyra Heartstrings!”
As the mare squealed to Konrad, Princess Luna continued to watch the both of them holding each other. With each passing second, Konrad swore he could feel the anger emanating from her as if he was a Sith from Star Wars and knew he had to set boundaries with her right now.
“Awesome name. Now could you please keep your hooves to yourself from now on? Starting by letting me go?”
The mare frowned in sadness hearing this from Konrad but let him go anyway. Still angry at Lyra, Princess Luna calmed down seeing her let go of Konrad and walked up to his side. Feeling silly about her actions, Lyra blushed before apologizing.
“Heh, sorry about that. I just never expected any of this to happen at all. It’s all so crazy!”
“You have no idea...” replied Konrad with a tired frown.
Realizing this was an opportunity to get to know him more, Lyra asked,
“Really? Where did you come from! Tell me! Please! I want to know how much of my headcanon is correct about humans.”
Princess Luna turned away and muttered under her breath,
“If it were up to me, your head would be in a cannon...”
Konrad cringed at the tension coming from Luna and wanted nothing more for it to end. Lyra did not hear Luna’s comment, and it was clear to him that he was the only thing that existed in the mare’s world. Seeing how he was tired and that continuous interaction with her would only continue to be more awkward with Luna around, the man waved a finger and said,
“Nope. Some other time maybe. I really need to hit the hay.”
“Ohh! Humans slept on hay! I knew it!”
As much as Konrad wanted to facepalm, ending this conversation was now his top priority.
“Yes...We slept on hay. All day, every day...See you later, Lyra!”
“Bye, Konrad! Thanks for making my dreams come true! And the bits!” waved Lyra as she left.
With a happy trot and the bag of money levitating with her magic, Lyra was finally out of sight. Princess Luna glared at the mare the entire time as she left and was relieved Lyra was gone. Konrad was even more relieved that the awkward moment was over and happy being reunited with Princess Luna.
“So um....some Nightmare Night, huh? That is what you told me the name was, right?”
Turning to Konrad, the Lunar Princess made eye contact with the man with a look of happiness on her face.
“You’re alive.”
Blushing slightly with a small smile, Konrad replied,
“Yeah...sorry about that. Had a minor disagreement with your sister, but I’m alright. You look much...better than I saw you last.”
Luna giggled before looking at Konrad in detail up and down.
“You look terrible, Konrad as if you went to Tartarus and back.”
“Sunny Town, actually. I never thought I’d see a place like that in my life. Be glad you didn’t go there, Luna.”
Frowning at the memories of Ruby and Mitta and the fight, Konrad lowered his head and stared at the ground. Seeing his inner turmoil, Luna lifted his chin with a hoof and raised it back to her level.
“Chin up, Konrad; you’re alive and well. Last night was terrible, but you made it.”
Luna smiled as she briefly looked behind Konrad, causing the man to wonder what was happening.
“Correction, WE made it.”
Konrad turned around and saw four new ponies pointing a hoof toward him. Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and more importantly, Apple Bloom. The man and the filly instantly smiled as they saw each other as if they were lost siblings. Before either of them could say anything, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack immediately began apologizing.
“I’m so sorry about what happened, Konrad! We didn’t know the whole story and jumped to conclusions!”
“I have to apologize to you, mister Ford and a mighty big thanks! You saved my little sister, and I’ll always be thankful.”
Before Konrad could reply, Princess Celestia lowered her head and apologized.
“I, too, owe you an apology, Konrad Ford. You saved my sister’s life and assisted in removing a large threat to our Kingdom. For that, I’m eternally grateful.”
“Is there anything we can do for you?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
“Same here. I’m willing to make amends for my wrongdoing,” said Applejack taking her hat off.
“Just tell us what you need. It’s the least we can do for you.” said Twilight Sparkle.
Konrad stood there and contemplated what he wanted and couldn’t but find the situation amusing.
“They realized they fucked up badly towards me...should I milk this?”
“Please, Konrad, they just wanna make it up to you. They’re really sorry!” pleaded Apple Bloom.
Looking at Apple Bloom, the man noticed she had nearly the same look of sadness from when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon made fun of her blank flank. When he saw that episode long ago in his Raccoon City apartment, it hit him in the feels big time. And seeing it in front of him was an overload of cuteness, something he simply could not stand to see. Looking back at Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack, Konrad held a finger in the air, saying,
“I’ll forgive only on one condition, and it will require someplace out of the public eye.”
“We could go to the Golden Oaks Library; it’s a nice place, I assure you,” said Twilight Sparkle.
“Okay, but still only on one condition.”
“Yes?” said all three.
“And I mean, it’s really a major condition, something REALLY big,” said Konrad with a smile.
“Yes?!” asked all three once more.
Turning to Princess Luna, Konrad winked, which in turn caused her to giggle with a hoof covering her mouth.
“She knows where I’m going with this.”
Turning back to Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack, Konrad grinned before saying,
The atmosphere inside the Golden Oaks library was joy and relief as Apple Bloom and Konrad embraced in a compassionate hug. The remaining mares wiped their tears of joy away, happy that the two were finally reunited after such a nightmarish night. It was an extraordinary relief for Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, knowing that the human had not perished by their own hooves. And it was exhilarating to Twilight that the prospect of learning not only about Konrad but humanity as a whole could further her studies in the Magic of Friendship.
”This is great! So exciting! He’s literally a possible treasure trove of information! Hopefully, tomorrow Spike can clear my schedule-Wait; what’s wrong with him?”
As Twilight observed Konrad, she noticed that while he seemed happy, the man appeared to be wincing in pain. Despite seeing only one human, his facial expressions weren’t complex to decipher any more than an average pony’s expressions. Another thing that didn’t escape her observation was that he appeared to have an open wound on his left arm.
“Konrad, are you okay? What’s wrong with your arm?”
Letting go of Apple Bloom, the man stood up sluggishly with a slight groan of pain and clutched his left arm as he spoke in a surprised yet monotone voice.
“Oh...kinda forgot I got bit there. Hurts now that I noticed it.”
Sure enough, it was the sign of a nasty bite mark and, from the looks of it, vulnerable to infection if not treated. Nopony, especially Apple Bloom and Princess Luna, were happy about it.
“How bad is it? We need to get you treated immediately!” said Luna.
Apple Bloom immediately hugged Konrad’s leg, seemingly worried she’d lose him if she were to let go.
“Are you okay? Those mean zombies didn’t hurt you too badly, did they?!”
Konrad, for his part, did the best he could to reassure her despite his appearance.
“Nah, not really; they got a couple lucky hits on me, but I’m still in one piece, and I’m not going anywhere.”
While this did ease Apple Bloom, Luna’s facial expression displayed anything but ease.
”And who could blame her? He looks like he’s been dragged through Tartarus and back like Cerberus’s chew toy!”.
As Twilight noted his physical appearance, his clothes were utterly damp and dirty, he had several bruises to the head with a nasty one on the side, and last but not least, an open bleeding wound on one of his arms. In short, he looked like a disaster, and everypony knew it. Princess Luna and Celestia eyed one another, seemingly trying to decide what next step they should take. For Twilight, the solution was obvious, he needed medical assistance and possibly a bath as the slight stench of rotten flesh could be detected if one pony were close enough.
“Excuse me, Konrad, but you need to get that wound taken care of...And a bath.”
The man, in response, raised an eyebrow before smelling himself. Grimacing at his own stench, the man blushed and coyly acknowledged his stench,
“Well, maybe I need to take a bath, but there’s a bigger concern.”
Everypony, confused by his statement, looked at him, wondering what he meant by that. Seeing that, nopony asked him what it was and continued to wait for him to elaborate on the concern. Face palming himself, Konrad continued,
“I need food and sleep. Hey! Why not both? I’m kinda done with everything for tonight.”
All the mares giggled a bit before Luna chimed in and reassured him,
“Relax, Konrad, a quick and discrete medical checkup will serve you well. Then you can partake in your well-deserved respite.”
Looking at his arm again, the man replied, “Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t hurt...fucking zombies.”
“What was that?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
“Nothing.”, replied Konrad before he asked, “Also, where’s my truck? And my stuff? I don’t want anybody messin’ with it.”
“Rest assured, nopony has disturbed your personal effects. They have been moved to a secure area away from the public’s eyes. You should thank Luna for that.”, answered Celestia.
As Luna winked toward Konrad, Twilight Sparkle wasn’t happy hearing that. Her scientific curiosity was just screaming to find out more about him, and his items, including his transportation device, to her, were another piece in the puzzle about humanity. She wanted to know as much as possible about him and his people, which almost bordered on what she liked to call “Sudden Academic Drive.” While friendship had been the main focus of her studies, she would acquire a side interest every now and then. Sometimes it could even border on obsession if it screamed new discoveries in her mind.
”This is SO exciting! I know he’s got to have so many interesting things to tell me! I just have to learn!”
“Thank you, Princess; I appreciate that.” Giving Luna a slight bow, the Night Princess blushed slightly while accepting his thanks.
Apple Bloom and Applejack giggled slightly before the country farmer asked, “Konrad, you’ve helped save my little sister, and for that, my family and I will always be grateful. I’d like you to stay at our farm as a guest.”
He put a finger to his chin and playfully hummed as if pondering the offer.
Apple Bloom, who used the same puppy eyes routine when Twilight came to Apple Family Farm for the first time, asked Konrad, “Don’t ya wanna stay with us?”k.
Shrugging his shoulders, he replied coyly once more, “Well.....oh c’mon, of course, I will!”
Apple Bloom hugged Konrad again, happy that he would come and stay at her home. The little filly slowly pulled away from him, noticing his unsatisfactory scent.
“Uhh...sorry.”, said an embarrassed Apple Bloom as she backed away.
Konrad, for his part, wasn’t particularly upset about it and was almost proud of it in a weird way.
“No big deal Apple Bloom. I’d say it happens, but it’s not quite fitting, even though it did happen.”, said Konrad as he looked himself over.
“I’m gonna need a change of clothes. I got some in my truck; it would be mighty handy if I could get to it.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem.” said Princess Celestia, “We can arrange for them to be delivered to you. In the meantime, we’d rather see you by the doctor first.”
With disappointment and fatigue, Konrad asked, “Do I really have to go to the Hospital? Can’t he make a house call? I doubt I’ll get sepsis or gangrene overnight.”
Flaring her wings up, Luna sternly approached Konrad and reprimanded him. “After everything you’ve been through, I’d rather not have a silent, but eventually painful infection makes life miserable for you. Don’t make me take you myself.”
Raising an eyebrow, Konrad stared directly at Princess Luna, who kept her stern look, asserting her authority.
A small smile appeared, and the man held up his hands in mock defeat, “Okay, your highness! I surrender. Just really want some food and sleep. Plus, Hospitals weird me out for some reason.”
Confused at his statement, Twilight asked, “As opposed to everything that’s happened?”
Konrad raised a finger as if to address her but quickly put it down and shook his head, “Not gonna argue on that, though I don’t know what’s the norm around here...Or what’s going to be the norm for me now.”
Picking up on his uncertain and worried tone, Princess Luna put a wing on his shoulder, reassuring him.
“Do not worry, Konrad, we will solve such a question later. For now, let’s press on to the local Hospital. Most of Ponyville’s citizens have returned home by now, which should not be an issue.”
Holding a fist, Konrad asked, “Ready to go home, Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom’s hoof made contact with his fist as she replied, “Boom! That’s what I’m talking about!”.
In an instant, Apple Bloom was picked up and hoisted onto his shoulders, with her front legs holding onto his forehead for support. While it was a pretty sight to be seen for Twilight and everypony else in the room, she couldn’t help but ask before the duo walked out the door, “Wait! Who is going to get your clothes from the carriage-”
“Truck,” corrected Konrad.
“-I mean, truck? Could I get it for you?”
”This is it! A first look and examination of real human artifacts!”.
Her hopes were dashed as he replied while opening the door, “Nope. I’ll get it myself after the Hospital.”
Twilight Sparkle sighed in defeat, lowering her head, “Okay...sorry I asked.”
In her defense, Princess Celestia chimed in with a pleading question, “I don’t suppose sometime after you’ve rested, you would kindly answer a few questions. Many of us are curious and quite frankly surprised your kind even exists. We have a lot to learn from you, Konrad.”
Konrad carefully turned around to the group before him, stopping before he could get through the door with Apple Bloom. It was clear to everypony that talking about his species was something he would instead not do. If Twilight remembered Luna’s explanation at the Hospital, and she did, then it would be a rather touchy and uncomfortable subject for him.
”It’s got to be tough living normally, and suddenly, you’re in the future and the only one left. I just hope he’ll be open and tell me what he can. I want to learn much but don’t want to alienate him.”
Sighing, the man replied, “Yes. I suppose that subject was going to come up at some point. Sure, why not?”
Giving Twilight Sparkle a wink to her student, Princess Celestia continued, “Then it’s settled; Luna and I will be staying at the local Inn for a few days before we must return to Canterlot. No doubt word of this incident will spread across the Kingdom.” Luna asked, “Surely he will come with us? I do not want a wild public and possible unsavory characters to bother him nor the Apple Family.” “Unless Konrad has a major objection, I do not see a reason why he can’t and many more why he should.”, continued Celestia. “Oh goodie, a debriefing session. I’m really looking forward to that. I take it you’re coming too?” said Konrad, whose sarcasm was not lost on anypony, especially Twilight
“You can bet on it! Looking forward to learning from you!” said Twilight with a slight squeal.
“I’ll bet you are....” Konrad stared at Twilight, who had an exciting smile that almost rivaled Pinky Pie in many aspects.
“Okay, I’m done. Let’s get this doc visit over with,” said Konrad as he carefully made his way outside, still holding Apple Bloom.
As everypony left the Golden Oaks Library minus Twilight, she immediately ran over to the quill and inkstand, hastily planning an outline of topics and questions she wanted to ask him. Even though it would be a few days before they left for Canterlot, she looked forward to interviewing the first and only live, formally mythical being in existence. She also wanted to visit her parents while there, though explaining the events that unfolded without causing them a heart attack would be a challenge too.
”I just realized! Shining Armor and Princess Cadence will be there too! That’s also a good opportunity to heal the animosity between them! The magic of friendship is such a wonderful field of study!”
As the Element of Magic finished the final touches of her planned outline, she carefully put it away beside her checklist for tomorrow.
There are still a few things to be taken care of before we depart to Canterlot. Spike is going to be busy tomorrow for sure. Oh well, time for a good night’s sleep!”
The upcoming days, while exciting, would still be more than she could ever bargain for.
Konrad’s visit to the Hospital was relatively quick and straightforward, despite his presence making the staff a bit nervous. The nurses were uncomfortable around him, while Doctor Stable was fascinated by him. So much so that he wanted an immediate follow-up within the week to check his progress and build a medical record. While Konrad knew it would be necessary, he still wasn’t comfortable about it as he viewed himself as an alien among the natives in many ways. It also didn’t help that he would have to give the pony his personal health history.
After Princess Luna made it quite clear the staff wasn’t allowed to talk about Konrad’s visit in any way, shape, or form, the ponies assured him personally that he could have complete confidence in their excellent staff. Once his wounds were cleaned and patched up, he was given some pain relievers that looked similar to ones back on earth, albeit slightly bigger.
”I’ve been given horse pills by a pony. How fucking ironic...still gonna use them, though.”
After leaving Ponyville General Hospital, Konrad offered to pick Apple Bloom back on his shoulders; she graciously accepted it. The man and filly felt better as both Princesses followed suit, with Applejack leading back to Sweet Apple Acres. Nopony could be found on the streets minus the guards everywhere patrolling. Several of them gave him stares, some hostile, some curious, and some surprised to see him walk with the Princesses and filly on his shoulders, let alone exist.
Even though he only saw the Solar Guards, he was certain Luna’s Sentinels were nearby, watching his every move. To him, walking out in the open and no longer sneaking around to avoid detection was a pleasant change.
”I merely go out on a shooting trip, only find out I’m in a fucked up version of My Little Pony, then realize I’m not going back. Even if I did, that angel said Raccoon City is gone. Silent Hill too; I guess that weird vibe from that place did mean something...”
“Something wrong, Konrad?”
The man was interrupted from his thoughts hearing Luna’s question, and turned to face her. Her blue eyes conveyed a clear message; she was worried.
“Just thinking about everything that leads up to now. It’s a complete reality twist, and know that our crazy survival situation is over, I have no idea what to do. I’m essentially homeless in more ways than one.”
Feeling a hug from Apple Bloom, whom he was still carrying on his shoulders, a slight feeling of comfort washed over him.
“I’m sorry you lost your home. I hope you’ll feel better at ours!”
Smiling, Konrad put his hand over her mane and patted it, acknowledging her support.
”Better to count my blessing, I suppose. Can’t go wrong having Apple Bloom with me.
“Thanks, Apple Bloom, I mean it.”
Feeling a wing against his back, he noticed Luna had extended it with a sympathetic look. Even though he’d been around ponies for a while, he still couldn’t believe they were real and staring right at him. It was strange being in a world of cartoon characters and seeing their facial features up close. They still looked like they did in the show, but with a touch of reality added.
“Do you like what you see, Konrad?”
It was then he realized he was lost in thought, and he was staring at Luna. With a blush on his face and turning his head forward, he replied,
“Sorry. I was thinking.”
Luna sighed playfully and replied, “You were supposed to say a simple, “Yes.”, but disappointed me instead.”
Smirking and turning to her, Konrad said, “Oh, you’re highness! Thou art certainly brighter and more beautiful than the moon itself! As a matter of fact, its theme is based on you!”
Princess Luna rolled her eyes with a smile while Applejack and Apple Bloom giggled at the cheesy statement. Princess Celestia didn’t respond and maintained her stoic demeanor, making him wonder if he said or did something wrong. No more than a few hours ago did he witness a side of Celestia not seen in the show. She was ready to destroy him due to a misunderstanding that he had harmed Luna and now was eager to mend things with him. Like a sun, he realized she could flare up at the slightest sign of trouble regarding her sibling.
”I guess she’s tired of losing her sister. Who knows how she’ll react, especially if she finds out Luna and I have a thing going. Better be careful.”
“And here we are! Sweet Apple Acres, home sweet home.”, said Applejack.
Breaking from his thoughts, Konrad noticed that he was once again at Sweet Apple Acres. It looked just as calm and peaceful the first time he saw it, and it was a welcoming sight to him.
As Konrad let Apple Bloom down, he turned to the Princesses and sighed, “Well, it’s been one crazy night....again. I guess I’ll see you all later.”
Princess gave him a wink and replied, “Please rest well, Konrad. You’ve earned it.”
Letting out a yawn, he replied,” I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”
Giving a slight head bow to Luna, Konrad turned and began walking to the home with Apple Bloom right next to him. Applejack turned to the Princesses and said,
“He’ll be looked after well. We don’t have any work for tomorrow, so we can keep an eye on him and get to know him better. Apple Bloom sure is happy he’s here.”
Luna watched as Konrad and Apple Bloom went inside the home, happy knowing he was safe and sound.
“Please do; I think he’ll need a home more than ever. I bid you adieu fair Applejack.”
Giving the Princesses a small bow, Applejack trotted back to her home and closed the door. It pained Luna that she would have to wait to see him again, but she could definitely be patient for their subsequent encounter. Felling a wing to touch her back, she turned to her sister and smiled at her sibling’s comforting gesture.
“Don’t worry, Luna, he’s going to be fine. Let’s retire and prepare for tomorrow.”
Looking back at the Sweet Apple Acre’s house, a small smile formed before the pair of Princesses headed back to the local Ponyville Inn. [
I]”Sleep well, my knight. We will meet again soon.”
Konrad was relieved to enter the home of the Apple Family and happy at the prospect of getting sleep. Walking in behind the family members, he took in the sights of the country-styled home, holding the green military bag that had his clean clothes and shoes. The house reminded him of what it looked like in the show but with a hint of realism. The smell of the home was pleasant, almost like that of an apple cinnamon candle. The walls were adorned with a country feel, similar to a Cracker Barrel Restaurant, minus the overboard commercialism.
i] "Mmm…Cracker Barrel…I wonder if they similarly cook their food…"
On the wall to his left were numerous photos, some of which he had never seen in the show. Some were obviously Applejack and Apple Bloom at different ages, organized in no particular order. Big Macintosh was right next to their pictures, in the same manner as the others. He couldn't help but smirk at the pictures, taking in every detail of what the ponies looked like. Even pictures of a younger Granny Smith could be seen, though the quality was similar to that of a late 19th century stylized picture regarding her younger photos.
Despite numerous pictures on the all, Konrad could not see any of their parents.
"Pity would have been cool to see what they look like. Wonder why they aren't on the wall?"
Applejack was the first to turn around and notice that he was looking at their family portraits. Blushing a bit, the country mare took off her stetson and greeted him.
"Welcome to our home, Mr. Ford. Glad you like our family photos."
Looking back at Applejack, the man set his green bag gently on the ground and stretched his back. Apple Bloom giggled, seeing Applejack blushing, while Granny Smith and Big Macintosh smiled.
"I do, actually. It's where I'll bet your family's heart is."
"Eeyup!"
Stomping on the floor in approval, Granny Smith eagerly added her two bits.
"You got that right, mister! This farm has been in our family for as long as I can remember."
Without warning, Granny Smith got up to his ear, standing on her hind legs, and held a hoof up as if to whisper a secret.
"And that's a very long time, I tell ya what."
Konrad chuckled and replied,
"Yes, ma'am."
"Woof!"
Turning around, Konrad found the canine pet of the apple family behind him. Winona was eager to see him again and enjoyed the ear scratches he gave without missing a beat.
"Hey there, Winona! Yeah, I remember my promise from earlier. Who's a good girl?"
While Winona continued to enjoy the ear scratches, the Apple family behind him exchanged confused looks with each other.
"Pardon me, Mr. Ford-"
"Konrad, just call me Konrad," replied Konrad with his back still turned towards them.
"-I mean Konrad. How do you know our dog's name? And why does she seem to know ya already?"
It was a good thing Applejack didn't see Konrad's reaction or the rest of the Apple family, for that matter. They would have seen a brief look of panic on his face.
"Crap! They don't know I trespassed, and I also know her name from the show! I got to spin a lie, but she's gonna know!"
Luckily for the man, he spotted her name tag on her collar, so he was safe from a possible dimensional continuity screw-up. He decided it was better to come clean with the rest of the truth and hope they wouldn't get mad. Ceasing his scratching of Winona's ears, he stood back up and turned around to reply to her question. Rubbing the back of his head nervously,
"Well…I kinda walked on your property earlier trying to find Apple Bloom. I ran into this loyal canine of yours, who, I might add, was ready to defend your home, thinking I was a bad person up to no good."
Apple Bloom went over, started petting Winona's back, and showered her with praise.
"That's our Winona! She's the best dog in all of Equestria!"
Smiling at the cute display, Konrad continued,
"She certainly is Apple Bloom, but luckily I was able to convince her I wasn't bad. She even helped point me in the right direction with this."
Konrad pulled out the military green bandana he let Apple Bloom wear during their struggle for survival. Winona took another sniff of it and immediately pointed at Apple Bloom.
"See? She pointed towards Ponyville, so that's how I knew where to look. Since you and your friends didn't believe me earlier, I was trying to lay low and find Apple Bloom as I knew she would vouch for me. Sorry I came onto your property without permission."
While seemingly convinced of his explanation, Applejack appeared uneasy with his confession.
"I guess the country attitude of property is sacred is a thing here too. They can't be that put off by me walking onto the property."
"Well, I guess it's fine and all, but-"
Surprisingly, Big Mac was the one to speak up out of the family and interrupted Applejack,
"AJ, it ain't no harm and certainly no foul. He saved our sister and risked his own life. Even if we didn't know about him earlier, Apple Bloom knew him, and he ain't a stranger."
"Darn tooting Big Macintosh! Well said, if I might say so myself!"
Granny Smith's approval put Konrad at ease, allowing him to relax with Apple Bloom hugging his right leg with a smile.
"Well, I guess so, but you didn't answer how I knew Winona's name. And how did you know this was our farm?"
Pointing at Winona's nametag, who in return started licking his fingers with affection, Konrad replied,
"That. And this is your family's farm. Apple Bloom told me about it earlier, and the whole place was a dead giveaway. If I tried, I can't honestly mistake it for anyone else's property."
"Ah…well, shoot, sorry about that. I hope you understand why I asked and all."
Shrugging his shoulders, Konrad replied,
"Eh, no big deal, it's your home and all. I'd probably feel the same if I had someone come onto my large property…Well, if I had one. I only had an apartment in a city before I wound up here…."
Konrad frowned before saying,
"…in the future."
"Another fucking dimension…fucking zombies and angels. My life is weird. I feel like I'm in the city of Austin in Texas right now! I just don't belong!"
Feeling Apple Bloom hug his right leg tighter, Konrad smiled and rustled her mane as she giggled.
"Sorry, I guess I got a little annoyed over nothing. Anyway, it's getting late, and I'm sure you'll want to hit the hay. Our guest room is upstairs and to the left. We usually get up early to do chores, but it's pretty late and all. You can feel free to sleep in if you want."
"Think all of us are gonna do that. We ain't got no chores tomorrow since we got them done early. Now let's get to bed! It's callin' my name right now! And we're gonna have brunch when we all wake up!"
"Heh, Granny Smith is so damn funny in person. She's still feisty regardless of her age. And brunch is the shit!"
"Alright, everypony, see ya tomorrow! Hope ya get good sleep!"
Every Apple family member began walking upstairs with Konrad picking up his green bag, following behind. Winona elected to fall asleep on the carpet in the living room, happy as a dog could be. After giving Apple Bloom another hug and saying goodnight, he walked into the guest bedroom set aside for him. The room was simple as it contained only a bed, a dresser, a small closet, and a mirror. The view of the property entrance was as clear as the moon, which also was visible.
Setting his bag down and sitting on the bed, which was surprisingly big enough for him, Konrad took off his boots and socks. The feeling of his toes exposed to the air felt great and was a welcomed relief. Electing to wear only a clean shirt and underwear, Konrad eased into the bed and was happy to discover that it was more comfortable than it appeared.
"Damn…I never thought I'd get to relax in a nice bed again. I guess this is the first night of my new life. Not a bad way to start."
It didn't take long for sleep to come to Konrad. He had never had a more relaxing night of sleep in a long time.
"This is insane! I try my best to wean Lyra off her obsessive human hobby, finally get her to agree to a deal to stop it, and what happens? A bucking human appears! WHY?! Now she's never going to stop!"
Bon Bon was furious as she walked into the shared house she and Lyra were renting. Still dressed in her candy costume, Bon Bon made her way around the living room furniture, doing her best not to knock anything down. She was followed by Lyra, sporting a massive grin as wide as all of Equestria. Her face was red with anger and frustration as she took off her candy costume, while Lyra elected to keep hers on.
"So Bon Bon…how about that-"
Turning around fast, Bon Bon raised a hoof and pointed at Lyra,
"Don't say it."
"Hu-"
"Don't you dare say it!"
As if her grin couldn't get any wider, Lyra stared directly at Bon Bon, ready to cross her friend's red line.
"-maaaaaan!"
Bon Bon lost it and unloaded her frustration on Lyra,
"DANGIT, LYRA! Don't you get it!? I'm the one who's keeping us afloat in this house! I'm the one working all the week with little free time while you get to play fantasy human…whatever it is you do!"
Lyra's grin dropped to a surprising look of sadness and guilt. Before Lyra could say anything, Bon Bon continued,
"You don't play your Lyre anymore! You're a shut-in most of the time. We discussed this earlier, and I'm worried about your lifestyle."
Setting her costume aside, Bon Bon took a deep breath and sat down on the couch on her haunches. Lyra did the same and continued to listen to her friend.
"I'm trying to say I can't keep enabling you anymore. In my opinion, I don't think it's healthy long term, nor is it something I want ponies to tease you about."
"But we had a bet. You agreed to it! I win, which means you have to try my hobby!"
Sighing once more, Bon Bon looked at her friend after rubbing her temples,
"You didn't even win the contest, Lyra. He did. And out of all strangest, biggest coincidences, a human dressed up EXACTLY like your costume just appears out of nowhere and steals the show! I saw the look on your face when they said he won. I can't bear seeing you like that. You're like a sister to me. This was your moment, and he took it from you. He doesn't even like you after you tried pulling his face off. And you gave away something dear to you to get the costume, your own lucky sapphire."
Lyra stared down at the floor, frowning, appearing to think what Bon Bon said over the human. After a few minutes, Lyra hugged her best friend. The two shared their sisterly hug, with Lyra being a little tearful. Wiping her tears away, Lyra smiled while looking down and said,
"I'm sorry Bon Bon. I didn't know my hobby was such a stressor on you. I have been spending too much time slacking on the bit-making business. I should probably give my creative hobby a break."
"Finally! She's coming around!"
"But…"
Bon Bon's mind started to turn from elation to that dread the moment she heard the word "but." All the time she knew Lyra, which spanned to pre-school back in Canterlot, that word usually meant a tangent. And when Lyra went into tangents, they tended to go into the great beyond. Apprehensively, Bon Bon replied,
"Y-yes?"
Slowly raising her head back up, her grin of Lyra slowly came back and came into full fruition when she made eye contact. This sent shivers down Bon Bon's back, and the mare did her best to prepare herself for her best friend's following words.
"I got the money."
Bon Bon was taken aback as it was not what she expected.
"What?!"
Lyra's horn enveloped itself in a golden hue, pulling out a large bag of bits from a side pocket of her costume. Dangling the giant bag of bits before Bon Bon's face, and laughed. Her mouth was fully agape as Bon Bon couldn't process the sight before her.
"H-how! But you didn't-"
"Win? Well, technically yes, and technically no. Hehehe!"
Setting the bag of bits on the table next to the couch, Lyra opened it and poured numerous golden bits out. Many scattered across the table, with the light in the room reflecting the Equestrian currency. Before Bon Bon could ask, Lyra explained further,
"You see, Bon Bon, backstage, I grabbed him. Yes, yes, don't interrupt! I was locked onto his leg in awe of his marvelous existence. For some reason, Princess Luna didn't like it; I think she wanted him to herself-"
Annoyed at the tangent, Bon Bon shouted,
"Lyra! Get to the point, please!"
Sheepishly smiling, Lyra continued,
"Whoops! Sorry! Anyway, after they pulled me off of him, I told him that I based my costume off of him and that I was sorry, and I really was just happy to see him since I had a dream about him and all. He thought that was cool and felt bad for taking my spot in the contest, so he gave me the bits. Every single one of the sum of the one thousand bucking bits! Can you believe it?!"
"H-he did what?!"
Squealing with joy, Lyra clapped her front hooves and continued.
"I know! He gave them to me, said I had good taste, and said I could hang with him later! *squee!* Don't you get it, Bon Bon! My hobby is what got us this money! It's enough to last us 6 months' rent WITH groceries added to the lot! Now-"
Pointing a hoof at Bon Bon, Lyra continued,
"-you can take time off! Vent, destress! The whole 9 yards and whatnot! And it's all because of my hobby! Oh, and the hot human too."
Unable to hear Lyra, Bon Bon asked,
"What was that?"
Feigning ignorance and looking away as if she were an innocent filly, Lyra replied,
"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!"
Backing up on the couch, Bon Bon thought to herself,
"I have no clue what's she thinking, but I really hope it's not perverted… don't think she's gone THAT far into her fantasy."
"Ummm, okay…well…."
Looking at the bits on the table forces Bon Bon to reconsider what had transpired during this strange Nightmare Night Celebration. A human appeared, an actual genuine human appeared before everypony, and he really was something to behold. And not just any human, a human that Lyra had fantasized about in her mind for the longest of time, according to Bon Bon's opinion at least. In the end, he gave her the prize money, doing the right thing and representing her happiness.
Bon Bon knew her friend, and a few things that made her happy: food, playing the Lyre, and humans. And here was one of them, making her happy and helping her living expenses even if it wasn't his primary goal. Reassessing whether her fandom of humanity was harmful, Bon Bon now started to see it from her best friend's point of view. Smiling, Bon Bon thought,
"Well, he did help. He didn't hurt Lyra, aside from smack-talking her costume of him. I guess that can be overlooked. And he did make it up in the end and make her happy. I guess this whole human thing isn't so bad after all. Meh, I'll give it a try."
"Okay, Lyra. You win. A bet is a bet, and taking some free time is just what I need, now that I can afford it. I just…hope you'll be cautious. He may be real, but not everything in real life is a fantasy or ever turns out that way."
Rolling her eyes and giggling, Lyra replied,
"Umm…hello?! Human? I think my point speaks for itself."
Scrunching her face, Bon Bon took the bits and put them back in the bag.
"Fine. I'm taking these to go pay bills and rent. Whatever is left over, we split."
Shrugging he shoulders, Lyra said,
"Sure. Whatever Bonnie! I am going to hit the hay and get ready to see him. Hopefully, I'll see him tomorrow or the next day. Don't know where he is, but he's here!"
Giving Bon Bon a hug, Lyra bounced her way to her bedroom and closed the door. Bon Bon, in return, looked at the bits and shook her head.
"Somehow, I don't think this is the last time I'm going to hear about humans. Actually, I'm never going to hear the end of it. I hope he's as decent of a guy as she says he is. Wonder what the human fandom is all about…"
Setting the bits in a safe place, Bon Bon took her costume and put it in the closet. Going to bed was now on her top priority list, and as she lay down in her own bed, she couldn't help but wonder,
Sleep overtook Bon Bon, and she eventually dreamed of a pair of smooth, light bread buns. It never made sense to her, and she rationalized it as "nothing at all."
Princess Luna entered the Ponyville Inn double suite and thought it was quaint. She elected to take the bed next to the window. She wanted to see the moon and enjoy its luminescent beam shining over the comfortable twin-sized bed. Granted, it was nothing compared to her luxurious bed fit for a Royal member. Still, she doubted it would be anything short of relaxing. The room, while very rustic, had a relaxing effect and fit for the charm of Ponyville.
Taking her Lunar Regalia off and setting it on the small dresser nearby, Princess Celestia followed into the room after her and did the same. This was the first time in many years they shared a bedroom together, not since the days when they were fillies. Luna smiled, remembering the old days when they lived in Old Castile, now sitting in ruins away in the dark Everfree Forest. While it had been a tradition for every offspring of Royalty to have their own chambers, their parents had seen it fit for them to share a smaller room.
It wasn’t easy for both Luna or Celestia. Their parents thought it would be a good idea to learn how to share and come to agreements whenever they had fights. For the most part, it worked, and eventually, they earned their own rooms, but it was not without pain. Remembering the small silly fights and pranks they would pull on each other, Luna smiled at the memories before being noticed by her sister.
“Is there something amusing dear sister?”
Taking off her shoes, Luna turned and replied,
“Oh, nothing more than the memories this room brings of me.”
Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Luna further clarified,
“The time that mother and father made us share that small room together.”
As bright as the sun, Celestia beamed a smile remembering the memories of that time.
“Ah yes, they really took everything from us, did they. We used pranks to pull on each other when all we had to do was share.”
Looking outside, Luna replied,
“I miss them, Tia.”
Taking off her Solar Regalia, Celestia closed her eyes and replied,
“I do too, Lulu. Not a day goes by. I wonder what it would be like if they were here.”
“What do you suppose they would think of him?”
Confused, Celestia turned to her sister, who was still looking toward the moon.
“I imagine not too fondly. Our parents were from a different time, after all. Griffons, Minotaurs, and virtually every other race were our enemies. Surely you must agree.”
“Of course, they would. A much nastier time it was back then when the “herd” meant everything. Konrad is still a good man, though.”
Looking down and sighing, Luna nodded,
“Yes, sadly, I must. But I’m certain our parents would appreciate that he saved the lives of our ponies and mine.”
Hearing the hoof steps getting closer, Luna turned to see her sister next to her. She felt a soft sisterly nuzzling; Luna turned to see her sister express concern on her face.
“What’s bothering you, Luna? We’re here together, and Konrad’s alive. Is this not a good time to be happy?”
“I want him, Tia; surely you can see the obvious!”
“Yes, but...I...I hope I can make him happy, Tia. He literally has nothing, you know. No other humans exist, and he’s alone. Just like I felt many times.”
Instead of another nuzzle, Luna was embraced by Celestia, feeling the warmth and sisterly care she was known for.
“We will do everything we can to help him have a happy life, Luna; I promise that. Are you worried he won’t have such a life?”
“More worried about what they may see him as...or us together.”
“Yes, he’s been through a lot, dear sister. I worry about how the rest of Equus may see him or treat him. In some of the other countries, they may see him as a prize.”
Pointing her horn at the window, Luna used a minor projection spell. A griffon-shaped image appeared in a line on the glass pane colored in a light blue hue. The projected griffon held a spear pointing at a newly formed Human whose hands were bound.
“Griffons with their penchant for bits might steal him away for the highest bidder.”
The human image representing Konrad was escorted away by another armed griffon, who gave a large bag of bits to the first griffon. The griffon disappeared, and a picture of a free Konrad was now running in place, seemingly chased by a new predator.
“Or the Minotaurs with their penchant for hunting rare game.”
The Minotaur fired a crossbow bolt, and the human image fell to the ground clutching the fatal wound as the Minotaur raised its arms in victory. Luna winced at the thought of Konrad dying a violent death. Before Celestia could ease her worries, the image of the human was surrounded by ponies. The human tried to walk away but was surrounded by more and more ponies pointing and laughing at him. Some with scornful looks on their faces. The ponies began to pelt him with fruit as if it were a sport.
Turning to Celestia, Luna extended her forelegs and shook her sister in hysteria,
“What if they reject him?! What if he’s seen as a freak of nature!? What if they think he’s a monster!? What if-”
Using her magic, Celestia pushed her sister’s forelegs off and adjusted her ruffled mane. Making eye contact, Celestia could see the look of fear in her eyes. A smile formed on her face before saying,
“Luna, I understand. You’re afraid they will fear him, and you’re afraid you’ll lose a friend.”
“Yes, just as a “friend,” dear sister. Surely you must see how I feel for him.”
“I promise you, we will not allow such a thing to happen. News of his arrival will take some time to travel to the rest of the kingdom, so we have time to prepare for the ponies that will no doubt flood our courts for answers. And he will be protected as well. I trust you directed your Sentinels to watch over Sweet Apple Acres for his safety.”
After Luna nodded in confirmation, Celestia continued,
“We both know he is incapable of hooves, my dear sister. I, too, have assigned a small contingent of my trusted Solar Guards to keep a distance from any unwanted pony or being otherwise away from him. I assure you nothing is going to harm him. He’s going to enjoy the company of the Apple Family, and he, along with Twilight and Spike, will join us in Canterlot for the time being.”
Looking towards the Castle, which was barely visible and only because the high tower was lit, Celestia continued,
“He will be safe there with us until his living arrangements are finalized. Together we will help him fit in and make sure he has a happy life. Outside of that, his life will be up to him. And who knows what we will learn of him and humanity, my dear sister.”
“Ah yes, the knowledge of humanity. How they were just a tale for foals spun by motherly mares is now a fact. It’s why I’m afraid of how ponies will receive him.”
Extending a wing to Luna’s back,
“And that’s why we are going to learn about him, so we can show that he’s just a living being like us, with hopes and dreams just the same as us.”
Looking toward the sight of Ponyville, Luna sighed,
“I guess so...I hope all shall be right. I could not bear the thought of any emotional or physical harm coming upon Konrad.”
Giggling, Celestia quipped,
“Well, maybe a light slap from our niece Princess Cadence. She’s not too happy about Konrad fighting Shining Armor.”
Stomping on her floor rather loudly and staring at her sister angrily, Luna rebuked,
“If she knows better, then she will not do such a thing! I shall not permit it! It was a misunderstanding, and both fought bravely, as any stallion would. I doubt Shining Armor himself is even upset about it anymore!”
Shaking her head, Celestia replied,
“Luna, I was jesting. Besides, you cannot blame a wife for having slight misgivings towards one that brought harm to the one she loves.”
“I guess that’s something we can agree on!”
Looking back towards the town, with the best poker face she could muster, Luna replied,
“I suppose I cannot. As I have said before, I shall not allow it. Cadence may deal with me personally if that is how she truly feels. I shall set her straight if she cannot see reason otherwise.”
Looking at Luna, Celestia raised an eyebrow before looking away, pondering to herself. Luna, worried about giving away her feelings, quickly changed the subject.
“I believe we should retire for the night.”
Nodding, Celestia walked towards her bed and made herself comfortable as Luna quickly did the same. After adjusting herself, Luna turned toward her sister and said,
“Goodnight, dear sister. We will enjoy a nice breakfast tomorrow.”
“That is a splendid idea. Please rest well; we have a big day tomorrow. And if it means anything, I’m sure he would rest well knowing you looking out for him.”
“Indeed we do...and I believe I should check up on him.”
Looking back at the window, Luna could see the night sky with the moon as bright as ever. Despite it being a comforting sight, Luna’s mind raced with thoughts of the future, all negative and positive. Deciding that she was overthinking, Luna took a deep breath and sighed. Her eyes closed, and the surrounding ambiance noise was replaced with the indistinguishable noise of Konrad’s truck. Multiple dirt mounds in the middle of a grass field lay before her, with Konrad driving over them carelessly in the air and shouting colorful obscenities loudly.
“It would seem my knight is a bit of a risky ruffian...perhaps I should join him.”
After Luna shot a blue light in the sky from her horn to attract his attention, the truck came to a stop after safely landing. Konrad left the vehicle, looking confused at the blue light source. He grinned when he saw Luna as she stood before him with a smirk. Bowing slightly before motioning toward the truck with his head, Konrad winked at the Lunar Princess.
“Oh yes, I’m DEFINITELY going to enjoy this no matter what!”
After being helped into the truck’s passenger side, Luna buckled herself in, remembering how the safety strap worked from the previous night. It wasn’t until after clearing the first and rather large dirt mound Luna would come to regret her decision while the truck was still in free fall.
”Oh damn...”
“AMERICA!!!!!” shouted Konrad before the truck landed violently.
The sun rose slowly over the visible horizon, soft golden rays gently covering Sweet Apple Acres. The animals on the farm and near began their routine as they always had for many years. The birds awoke and left their nests, cheering happily while seeking worms for their young chicks. The rooster that inhabited the farm began his morning ritual of alerting all nearby that morning had arrived.
For Apple Bloom, the morning was a welcome greeting, which meant the chance to enjoy spending the day with her best human friend. She needed no prompting from her sister or brother or, as Celestia forbid, her grandmother to wake her up. After making her bed with a smile, Apple Bloom excitedly knocked on Konrad’s door while shouting,
“Wake up! We got a whole day to spend! It’s mornin’ Konrad!”
No answer came from the other side of the door.
“Didn’t you hear?! It’s mornin’ and-”
Her sister’s hoof pulled her own away, preventing Apple Bloom from knocking any further.
“Let him stay in Apple Bloom. He was mighty plum tuckered last night.”
Not happy about it, Apple Bloom pleaded,
“But-”
“No buts, Apple Bloom! Let him rest some more and meet us downstairs. It’s breakfast time, and I reckon he’ll change his tune when he smells pancakes.”
While pancakes were Apple Bloom’s favorite, she wanted to enjoy them with Konrad.
“I want to spend time with him! Is that too much to ask?”
A slight gurgling sound could be heard from her stomach, causing her to blush. Grinning, Applejack followed up,
“C’mon, you whippersnapper! You can help me make them.”
Smiling, the two sisters walked into the kitchen to cook breakfast. After about a few minutes of preparation, Big Macintosh slowly walked into the kitchen, yawning and struggling to open his eyes while having a bad case of a messy mane. While being a strong and reliable stallion, Big Macintosh often suffered from “slow starting,” as Applejack put it.
“Morning, Big Macintosh! Did you sleep well enough?”
Weakly replying,
“Eeeyup...”
Taking that queue from her brother, Applejack quickly heated water in preparation for coffee. Like any able-bodied stallion, Big Macintosh needed coffee to get a good start in the morning, and a day off was no exception to this personal rule. After the water was ready, Applejack took out the old Prench presser, and delicious coffee for her brother was ready. Taking a sip of the miracle cup, Big Macintosh’s attitude and groggy was replaced with his signature smile and relaxed demeanor.
Apple Bloom giggled at her brother’s grogginess and continued to mix the pancake batter. Somehow, it reminded her of Pinkie Pie whenever she was sad and happy. In some ways, it was almost as if he was a different pony whenever he had coffee, similar to Pinkie Pie when she took sugar. After finishing the pancake batter, Apple Bloom set it aside, cleaned up her kitchen area, and prepared the table.
“Well, I’ll be! You youngins whipped this table up real fast! Now, where’s that human stallion?”
Apple Bloom walked over, hugged Granny Smith, and pulled the chair out so she could sit down.
“And while you’re at it, please pour me a cup of miracle.”
Nodding, Applejack quickly poured her grandma a cup of coffee, who happily took it.
“Pancakes are almost done. And Konrad’s still asleep,” said Applejack as she continued to flip the pancakes while heating a small cup of syrup.
“Yeah, he won’t wake up! I knocked on his door, but he didn’t answer!”
“Eeyup, your knocking woke me up just fine. I reckon he’s just that tired.”
“But I wanna spend time with him! I wanna show him the barn and the clubhouse! It’s not fair! Just not fair!”
Taking a few sips of her coffee, Granny Smith closed her eyes and pondered, making everypony in the room wonder what was going through her mind.
“I wonder what she’s thinking.”
Opening her eyes with a sly grin, Granny Smith turned towards Applejack and said,
“Applejack...make the Morning Apple Stack.”
Everypony else in the room stopped what they were doing, unsure of what Granny Smith had just said.
“Granny Smith, did you just say make the-”
“Morning Stack? Yes, I did.”
“THE Morning Stack? I wanna be sure.”
With a grin, Granny Smith replied,
“Yes! It’s what I said! Unless you forgot how to make it, that is.”
Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh looked at Applejack, who in return merely narrowed her eyes and replied,
“Challenge accepted.”
Within seconds, Applejack quickly moved her forelegs in a furious flurry of pouring batter, mixing a particular type of sweet butter and a secret pancake syrup mix forbidden to be shared outside the family. The special breakfast recipe was reserved for special occasions and was not something indulged in often. It had been a tradition of the Apple family to create and serve the stack to a family or close friend, a heartfelt appreciation of having the best breakfast the family could ever give.
If there was ever anypony who deserved it, it was Konrad for saving Apple Bloom.
“No way! He’s getting the Morning Apple Stack!? I hope he wakes up now! He’s just gotta!”
Before two minutes had barely passed, a massive and impressively finished stack of pancakes sat on the table. Everypony in the room stared at the perfection of a country breakfast in awe. Crossing her forelegs in satisfaction, Applejack smiled and said,
“I reckon that’s a new record.”
Apple Bloom sat in her chair, hoping Konrad would come down the stairs and into the kitchen. Everypony else sat down and took their servings of pancakes. Before anypony could indulge, thudding steps could be heard from the stairs. Apple Bloom smiled when she saw a groggy human rubbing his eyes. He looked much like her brother, who needed coffee in the morning with less of a messy mane.
“I sensed a presence I have not felt since…well, forever ago.”
His eyes focused with precision on the stack of pancakes before him and said,
“I knew it…I can always sense pancakes.”
Apple Bloom asked cheerfully,
“Oh, cool! Is that like a sixth sense of humans?”
Smiling while still focused on the pancakes,
“No Apple Bloom. It’s just my thing.”
Applejack and Granny Smith giggled while Big Macintosh smirked before taking another sip of his precious coffee.
“Well, don’t just stand there like a tree! Come and join us! This stack is here for you, mister.”
Before anypony could react, the seat was filled with a man, armed with a fork and knife in his hands and ready to combat the pancakes before him. The fork stopped just an inch away as the man noticed everypony was staring at him, eager to see his reaction to the perfection of pancakes before him. Taking a rather large bite, Konrad slowly chewed the pancake and savored every second of it. His eyes opened wide as his brain processed the sheer perfection of the breakfast masterpiece.
“Well? Whatcha think?” asked Apple Bloom.
After swallowing the first bite, the man had a neutral expression, worrying the Apple Family. Slowly, a smile formed on his face before replying,
“It’s sheer perfection. The best I’ve ever had. Nothing I’ve ever had has come close.”
The dining table broke out in cheers of “yeehaw!” from the ponies while the man still held his fork and knife, ready to eat the rest of his breakfast. Granny Smith added,
“Well, no need to wait for us! Go right on ahead and-”
The elderly country mare had no time to finish her sentence as Konrad immediately began devouring the breakfast. The speed at which he consumed his food almost rivaled that of Pinkie Pie eating sweets without food splattering everywhere. In no time, the plate was spotless; not even a spot of syrup remained. Setting the utensils down and whipping his lips clean with a napkin, Konrad noticed the stares upon him.
“Yes?” he innocently asked.
Applejack answered in astonishment,
“You…you completely just…ate the darn thing!”
Confused, he asked,
“Yes? Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, nothing; you only beat Applejack’s eating record like a stallion. I haven’t seen it done before.”
As Granny Smith and Apple Bloom giggled while Applejack blushed, beat red and replied,
“Granny!”
“It’s true, though! You do eat faster than all of us!” said Apple Bloom.
Applejack held her head high with a slight blush while Big Macintosh watched in amusement. Konrad asked in confusion,
“I’m…sorry?”
“Don’t be! You’re a young stallion. Ain’t anything wrong with that, and have some more if you want.”
“Yeah! Have some more Konrad! We don’t like to keep leftovers.” added Apple Bloom.
Shrugging his shoulders, the man replied with an appreciative smile,
“Okay. Thanks! This was really overdue for me, honestly. I haven’t had a good breakfast in a long time. It’s usually just coffee and some boring toast before I head to work, and I feel terrible later before lunch. Such is city life and all that it comes with.”
As everypony else continued to eat their breakfast, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but take the opportunity to learn more about him.
“You lived in a city? What was it like? Was it like Manehatten?” asked Applebloom as she took a bite of pancakes.
Konrad laughed, causing confusion at the table. Before Apple Bloom could ask, the man apologized before answering,
“Sorry about that, Apple Bloom. The name got me for a second.”
As curious as a filly could be, she asked,
“Why? What’s so funny about the name?”
Signing, the man replied,
“We had a big city called “Manhattan” during my time. Well…it was a name of a borough inside a bigger city called New York City. Very flashy, and only the tough city folk can make it there. It had lots of big buildings and such, along with the best pizza in the world.”
Konrad frowned before adding,
“Or…it did, I should say.”
“Aw! He misses home!”
“I’m sorry, is that where you’re from?”
Taking a sip of coffee, the man replied,
“Nah, I lived in a smaller but still huge city called Raccoon City.”
“Raccoon City? Did they have raccoons there?”
“Heh, not really; they lived in the forests north of the city near the Arklay Mountains. But for the most part, it’s just a name the founders chose because they were lazy. Cool place to go hiking before it got kinda dangerous.”
Before Apple Bloom could ask, Konrad merely held up a finger and said,
“But that’s for another time.”
“Now, why does he not want to talk about it? What was dangerous about it? Was it like Everfree Forrest or something?”
“Um…okay.”
Seeing her younger sister frown, Applejack jumped into the conversation,
“Aww, cheer up, Apple Bloom. I’m sure he has his reasons. Besides, ain’t you excited about today?”
Her mood completely changed, and she once again was excited.
“Oh! I’m going to show you around the farm! And I can’t wait to show you our clubhouse!”
Grinning, Konrad asked,
“Oh, you have a clubhouse, huh? Sounds awesome. What’s it like?”
“It’s where my friends and I hang out! It’s the headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! YEA!”
“No shouting Apple Bloom.” chided Applejack.
“Sorry!” smiled Apple Bloom with a slight blush. “I really can’t wait to show you! It’s where we hang out and try to find ways to get our cutie marks!”
Taking a sip of coffee, Konrad asked,
“Please, tell me more.”
Breakfast was a success in the eyes of the Apple family. Apple Bloom spent the remainder of the time telling Konrad everything about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, from stories about her friends to their attempts to earn their cutie marks. It was a welcome change for Applejack to see Apple Bloom happy and not emotionally scarred from the terrible event two nights ago. Having Konrad around Apple Bloom made her happy, and the family would forever be indebted to him for saving her life.
When nothing remained of breakfast, Konrad tried to help clean the dishes. Despite him trying to be a gentlecolt, Granny Smith would have none of it and demanded that the honored guest leave the cleaning to her. After everypony else cleaned up and brushed their teeth for the day, Konrad stood outside the front door, taking in the sight of the farm. As Applejack walked outside, he turned around, taking notice of her.
“Hey, thanks again for breakfast. I appreciate it.”
Smiling, Applejack replied,
“No problem Konrad. Glad you liked it. How you holding up all things considered?”
Looking around, he took a sigh before replying,
“I’m still…adjusting. Still feel out of place being here but all things considered, I’m lucky as it could be worse.”
Applejack felt a pang of sympathy for the man, remembering he would never be able to go back in time.
“I understand you just fine. I used to live in Manehattan with my aunt and uncle. As a country filly at the time, I felt out of place. I can’t imagine living away from home for too long and would be homesick if I did it again. But you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.”
Turning around to Applejack, Konrad smiled and replied,
“Thanks. I really do appreciate it. Don’t think I’ll stay here long, though. The Princesses want me to go to Canterlot, and it looks like I might be there for a while. But I promise I’ll come back and maybe help if you need it. I’m certain Apple Bloom would love it.”
Smiling, Applejack replied,
“That would be mighty fine. We certainly won’t say no to free help, and Apple Bloom would love it, as all of us would.”
In the distance, a Solar Guard could be seen down the small dirt road outside the Apple Family Orchard. Konrad and Applejack took notice of the Guard and spotted a few more around the farm several hundred yards away.
“Yeah…hopefully, things will die down a bit. I kinda feel bad they’re here on account of me.”
Frowning a bit, Applejack replied,
“Can’t say I like it, but I understand why and don’t feel bad on your account you hear? Now just where in tarnation is Apple Bloom?”
As if on cue, the door swung wide open, revealing an eager Apple Bloom.
“You wanna see the clubhouse!?”
Chuckling, Konrad replied,
“You know it!”
Before Apple Bloom could lead the way, Konrad picked her up and held her on his shoulders.
“Lead the way, Apple Bloom!”
“YEEHAW!” cheered Apple Bloom.
As the pair walked off towards the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse, Applejack smiled at the duo, happy as she could ever be at the adorable sight before her.
The walk to the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse wasn’t very far from the Apple Family House. If Konrad had to estimate the distance, he would have to guess about 150 yards give or take. Apple Bloom was as happy as she could be, telling Konrad about her adventures and attempts at earning a Cutie Mark with her friends. Even he was surprised to learn about events that weren’t even portrayed on the show. Konrad wasn’t sure whether this was due to being in an alt-verse or simply not enough time to show all the attempts.
”What am I thinking? Of course, this isn’t the canon Equestria! My presence alone, along with Sunny Town, disproves it as canon. But...”
“There it is, Konrad! Our clubhouse!”
Coming to a stop just a few feet from the ramp, he looked at the treehouse. It appeared exactly as he remembered it, innocent yet full of fun. And here he stood, ready to hang out with Apple Bloom.
”...this is damn close for me.”
“Well, what do you think? Ain’t it look nice? My friends and I put it together.”
The man smiled before replying,
“It looks cool, Apple Bloom; I wish I had one like it when I was a kid. Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
Gently setting Apple Bloom down on the ground, Konrad began walking up the ramp after the filly went before him. Despite his larger size and weight, the treehouse ramp stood firm. The sounds of his footsteps reverberated through the treehouse once he made his way inside. He barely had to lower his head before entering the clubhouse and was taken aback at the interior.
The room was larger than he expected, with plenty of space for him to stand up. It was mostly empty except for the podium, a lamp, country-style curtains, a Cutie Mark Crusader bandana on the wall, and a single flyer depicting Rainbow Dash as a Wonderbolt. The poster was likely made or paid for by Scootaloo. It fit the bill that either Scootaloo or Rainbow Dash would have made fan merch for her fans. Konrad narrowed his eyes at the poster, remembering his first encounter with her.
” It was a messed up thing Rainbow Dash said to Ruby; you’re definitely not the canon Rainbow Dash.”
“Something wrong? Is our clubhouse not cool?”
Shaking his thoughts, Konrad turned to Apple Bloom and smiled,
“Everything is fine, Apple Bloom; I just remembered something about that night.”
Apple Bloom lowered her ears in sadness and frowned. Konrad felt guilty mentioning the nightmare they experienced together and set about to comfort the filly.
“Oh, Apple Bloom, it’s okay, I promise. The clubhouse is really cool, and I’m happy I get to be here with you.”
Apple Bloom looked into his eyes with the sadness still present.
“I wish Ruby was here too. All of that happened to her just because she got a cutie mark. I’m...I’m not sure I should even get a cutie mark.”
The man got down on his knees and held up a finger, continuing to look into her eyes.
“Apple Bloom, please...Don’t ever say that again. What happened at Sunny Town was a terrible crime; Ruby didn’t deserve what happened to her. That was caused by evil, not a cutie mark. If she was here with us, do you think she’d want you to stop trying to figure out your special talent?”
Wiping a tear, Apple Bloom replied,
“No, I guess not. She’d want me to be happy and keep trying.”
Patting her on the head, he continued,
“That’s right, and we owe it to her to live our lives to the fullest.”
Putting a hoof to her chin, Apple Bloom asked,
“But if they were Ruby’s friends, and they did that to her, does that mean my friends could do that to me?”
Konrad sighed and pondered his next response to the seemingly endless but heavy questions.
”Oh, Apple Bloom, you’re not making this easy at all.”
“I’m not going to lie to you; anything is possible. I mean, look at me!”
Konrad pointed to himself to drive his statement home.
“I never expected I would be here, let alone fight zombies, see a ghost, or heck, anything aside from other humans. I never expected any of those would be talking ponies for crying out loud!”
She gave Konrad a confused look before he answered,
“Ponies didn’t talk when humans were around Apple Bloom. Humans were the only talking species....”
”I hate lying and making up lore on the fly. I almost wished this was the future; it would make my life easier. Looks like I need to pull a Javik.”
“...around during my time. The ponies looked radically different too.”
Konrad made a halting gesture with his hand, knowing Apple Bloom would ask questions about his revelation about ponies.
“What I just said was a huge can of worms, and I’m sorry to have sprung that on you. For now, just please set that aside...and don’t tell anypony else for now.”
Apple Bloom nodded her head as Konrad continued.
”I really need to watch what I say. This is harder than I thought.”
“Anyway, my point is anything can happen. However, I don’t think that will ever happen. I’ve seen differences between the ponies here and those from Sunny Town. They understand the power of friendship, they understand cutie marks, and they’re not under the influence of evil.”
Konrad sat down, crossed his legs, and motioned for Apple Bloom to sit down.
“Your family and friends love you, Apple Bloom. You have a good home here too. And as far as I can tell, there’s no evil influence moving about, telling them lies and convincing them bad things are good and necessary.”
Apple Bloom listened intently to Konrad; he could see she was scared at the word “evil.” Before she could ask, he elaborated,
“I think a demon influenced Gray Hoof and took advantage of their fear and ignorance of the unknown. Once it convinced them to commit that horrible crime against Ruby, it took control of their lives. That curse simply didn’t come out of thin air; it was evil magic Apple Bloom. There are forces of good and evil around us, always battling for our souls. You saw the result of evil; don’t forget to recognize it and always remember Ruby and Mitta.”
Apple Bloom looked down at the ground and said,
“Or else it could repeat...just like a lesson to be learned.”
Snapping his finger, Konrad continued,
“Exactly, Apple Bloom; never forget about Sunny Town. And speaking about remembering Ruby and Mitta, I will talk to Princess Luna about an idea. It’s about something I think we could do for them.”
Apple Bloom’s face lit up in a hopeful expression, and she asked,
“Oh! What is it? Can I help?”
”Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. Equestria needs to know what happened. I’m certain Princess Luna would be on board with it.”
“Let me talk to Princess Luna first, but yes, you can help. I have to warn you, the feels will hit you hard once we get approval.”
Apple Bloom looked confused at the human expression.
“The feels?”
Chuckling at her response, Konrad continued,
“It’s human slang; it means feelings, along with ol’ poor Wojak. I’ll explain it later, but for now...”
Konrad stood up and stretched his back before continuing,
“Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you down, don’t let it control you. Live your life to the fullest, Apple Bloom, and don’t stop trying to earn your cutie mark. Help others find theirs too! We only have one shot at life, and we need to make the most of it, so make it a good one.”
”Kinda had to steal from Doc Brown there, but hey, that line still holds up.”
Apple Bloom pondered his words for a few seconds before nodding and smiling at Konrad. Her innocent smile still proved effective at melting his heart. She did not make it easy for him to keep his composure. Pointing a finger to the door,
“I want to see the rest of the farm. Let’s enjoy the day, Apple Bloom! I don’t really know when I’m going to Canterlot. The Princesses didn’t exactly say when I would be leaving, so let’s go do something!”
Apple Bloom jumped up on all of her legs and cheered,
“Alright! Let’s try apple-bucking!”
”Apple bucking? Cool! How hard could it be?”
Before Konrad could leave the treehouse, he felt a tug on his leg. Turning his attention back to Apple Bloom, he was greeted with the sight of her hugging his leg. Getting to his knees, he returned the hug. Once the hug was over, much to Konrad’s disappointment, Apple Bloom had once again surprised him. He couldn’t believe what he was witnessing as his jaw dropped.
In her hoof extended to him was her own Cutie Mark Crusader bandana.
“Are you...giving me your bandana?”
Apple Bloom smiled,
“Eeyup! I’m making you a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! I know you’re gonna be busy, and you might not be around all the time, but you gave me yours. I feel it’s only fair I give you mine. Plus, you made me realize I shouldn’t stop trying to earn my cutie mark, and you saved my life too! So here ya go!”
Apple Bloom held it out once more for Konrad to grab. He swore he could see sparkles shining from Apple Bloom’s Crusader Bandana as if it was a critical item in a roleplaying game. He felt his heart pang with the feels, but the good kind. He did his best to not tear up and cry as he reached out and grabbed it.
”Holy hell...She’s giving me her crusader bandana...damn the feels. I’m a crusader now.”
Holding it in his hand, the weight of Apple Bloom’s trust hit him like a train. She considered him not just a friend but a close one, maybe even family. He elected to put it on his head pirate style, and when he made the final knot, Apple Bloom shouted,
“Boom! That’s what I’m talking about!”
Apple Bloom held out her hoof for a hoof bump, which Konrad gladly returned.
”There’s so much dust in here! And damn, the feels...the good feels, man.”
Konrad let Apple Bloom out of the clubhouse first and followed close behind her. He swiped away a tiny tear of joy, happy to be with the best filly in the world. One thing weighed on his mind before he exited the treehouse.
”If the multiverse is real, then does that mean Wojak is real? If so, I hope he feelin’ the good feels like I am now.”
For the past 15 minutes, Konrad had been trying to buck an apple tree near the Apple Family house. He failed at every attempt as the tree moved and clearly took every forceful hit. The fruit simply would not fall no matter how hard he tried. This frustrated the man, while the apple family got a few chuckles at his attempts. Applejack laughed, Apple Bloom cutely giggled, and even Big Macintosh gave a deep, hearty laugh.
“Okay, does this thing have God mode on? Why are the apples not falling down?”
Applejack adjusted her stetson hat and walked over to the tree, intent on giving a proper demonstration.
“I don’t know what you mean by that, but power ain’t everything; you gotta have the proper aim and instinct to know where to hit it. Just watch.”
The tree reverberated from the country mare’s buck, causing the apples to fall down. Smiling in satisfaction, Applejack picked up an apple and enjoyed the fruit while Apple Bloom collected the remaining ones, putting them in a spare cart nearby.
“See? Now try again.”
Picking a nearby tree, Konrad locked his eyes and focused his instinct. Deciding on an attack plan, he pointed his finger at the apple tree and comically and dramatically said,
“So, you have chosen death.”
He ran to the tree and made an impressive roundhouse kick, hitting the tree rightly.
“Yeah! Take that apple tree-AH!”
Despite successfully kicking the tree, it had the last laugh. As they fell, several apples hit Konrad on the head, frustrating the man. The Apple Family once again laughed and giggled while Konrad grunted in embarrassment.
“Well, how do you avoid the apples hitting your head?”
After the laughing stopped, Applejack replied,
“Well, it helps where you stand too. I always look before I start bucking the trees. It also helps I’ve been doing this all my life.”
Turning his head back to the tree, he narrowed his eyes, pointed a finger, and said,
“I’ll be seeing you again...someday.”
The Apple Family laughed at Konrad’s silly antics before he turned back to them and asked,
“So, what’s next on the-”
Before finishing his question, a Solar Royal Guard walked up to the group. Pointing his eyes to Konrad, the stallion Guard delivered a message.
“Apologies for the interruption, but you’ve been summoned to the Golden Oaks Library by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I’ve been instructed to escort you. Please gather your belongings if you have any.”
” Seriously?! I didn’t get one fucking day with Apple Bloom?”
“Aww! But we didn’t even get to try other stuff! I wanted to spend the whole day and have you meet my friends!”
Hearing the filly’s distressed statement, the Royal Guard assuaged her fears.
“If it means anything, we have not received redeployment orders back to Canterlot. The Princesses simply wish to speak to him if I were to guess.”
Apple Bloom’s ears perked, hopeful that Konrad’s presence in Ponyville wouldn’t be ending prematurely. Applejack stepped forward and asked the Guard a question while Big Macintosh picked up the remaining apples on the ground.
“I don’t suppose you mind us accompanying him? My little sister would appreciate it if she joined him.”
The Guard put a hoof to his chin and pondered for a few seconds. He shrugged and said,
“The Princesses did not give any restrictions. I see no reason to deny your request.”
Apple Bloom gave a small cheer as Applejack looked back at her brother.
“We’re going to town for a little while. Tell Granny Smith we’ll be back now, you hear?”
Before Big Macintosh could reply, Konrad interrupted,
“Actually, Applejack, I’ll just tell her myself. She should still be in the kitchen. I’m going to grab my backpack and be out real quick.
Big Macintosh replied with an “Eeyup” and nodded as he pushed the cart of apples into the barn. Even though it was a day off, there was still no reason to sort the apples for tomorrow’s work. Konrad ran back into the house to gather his remaining clothes and toiletries. He also gave Granny Smith a final thanks and goodbye, telling her where he and her grand foals were going into town.
Granny Smith wouldn’t let him leave without a hug, another moment of the “good feels.” Once he was ready, he walked outside and slung his backpack, wearing the Cutie Mark Crusader bandana proudly. Knowing what Apple Bloom wanted, Konrad kneeled down and let her jump on his shoulders.
Looking up at Apple Bloom, Konrad asked,
“You ready, Apple Bloom?”
“You know it! I can’t wait to show you Ponyville and my friends too!”
The Guard huffed in annoyance at the delays; Applejack started walking ahead, leading the way.
“Well, we’d best not keep the Princesses waiting, so let’s get going y’all.”
Konrad started walking after Applejack, with the Guard following behind. Two more Guards were waiting for them at the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, with another 10 on the other side of the road. They came from behind a small set of trees on the opposite side of the road, surprising Konrad. He knew Guards were hanging around but underestimated how many were nearby until they started milling out.
While he was glad they helped destroy the Blanks and the Blood Hooves, he remembered that he fought Guards. He also remembered he fought Shining Armor which he was sure they had not forgotten. Even though Konrad wasn’t making eye contact with them, he was sure they were glaring at them. As they continued moving towards Ponyville, which was coming into view, Konrad’s curiosity got the better of him.
Deciding to ask a question against his better judgment, Konrad turned his head to the same Guard who summoned him on the Princesses’ behalf.
”They probably aren’t the same unit; I doubt they’ll remember or have ill feelings. I’m gonna ask anyway.”
“Hey, what’s your name and rank? Just a bit curious.”
The stallion Guard raised an eyebrow before replying,
“Sgt. Headstrong. Why are you asking?”
Konrad nervously smiled,
“I’m something of a military guy myself. I was the human military...so to speak. I was just curious what your unit’s name was.”
While they continued walking, the Guard narrowed his eyes at Konrad before answering with a subtle tone of dislike.
“Spartrota. The best unit of all Equestria. But I’m sure you knew that....”
”Well, shit, they do remember. I guess they’re butthurt at being made second best by me.”
“Yeah, you guys are decent. Same with your Captain Shining Armor. Seemed like a cool dude.”
Taking a quick glance at the rest of the Guards, they all were focused on him with laser-like precision eyes. Turning his head back to Ponyville, Apple Bloom was utterly ignorant of the tension while Applejack laughed in nervousness. She attempted to change the conversation, hoping to keep the tension between Konrad and the Guards down.
“So uh, what did you think of Ponyville last night?”
“Yeah! Did you like it? You missed the moon cake at Sugarcube Corner! You should have had a piece.”
”Cake?! They had moon cake?! It wasn’t a lie! GAAAH!”
“Well, Apple Bloom, I focused more on trying to find you and Princess Luna. I didn’t get to admire it that much; I was busy playing hide and seek with our friends here. A game which I won, by the way.”
Konrad smirked at pushing the buttons of the Royal Guard, who were very patient and well trained in their military bearing. Applejack gave a cough at Konrad, signaling him to stop goading their escorts.
“But you ponies do have good style in decorations. It looked like a lot of fun.”
Apple Bloom beamed happiness at the compliment as well Applejack. The Guards either rolled their eyes or huffed in annoyance before returning their focus to the mission. Konrad and the Apple sisters talked about life in Ponyville and things they liked doing in town. Some of the details were unknown to Konrad, as he could not remember any of them from the show. Canon or non-canon, the new information about the Apple sisters and Ponyville he was learning made no difference. Konrad loved every second of the conversation and told them small tidbits about himself and Raccoon City, wowing them as well.
It didn’t take long to enter the city limits of Ponyville, making Konrad excited at the beginnings of his new life in Equestria. The only thing he was experiencing now could be summed up in one phrase.
”The feels, man...the feels.”
Rarity woke up from her beauty sleep, something that was terribly overdue. The unicorn fashionista gave a lady-like yawn as she took her sleeping mask off. Once her vision was free again, she was greeted by her cat, Opal. The female feline was lying on the end of her bed, still soundly asleep.
“Good morning, Opal! Isn’t this a much better morning than yesterday?”
The cat opened one of her eyelids slightly before grumbling with tiredness. Opal tried to return to sleep, but Rarity would have none of it.
“No, it’s time to get up, Opal. Go downstairs this instant! It’s time for your breakfast.”
While Opal did not want to get up, she knew breakfast would be denied if Rarity’s wishes were ignored. Opal stretched herself before jumping off the bed. Once Opal vacated the bed, Rarity gently set her mask down. The mask was enveloped in a light blue magic hue and set on the nightstand beside her bed. She did the same to her silky Japaneighs nightgown, something that was expensive and hard to come by. Once she was as naturally bare as a pony could be, she took a quick shower and prepared her mane and tail the usual way. Her mane still needed to be professionally groomed, but she made it work despite Spike's accident from last night.
Rarity felt terrific as the sleep rejuvenated her mind and focus with clarity. Her brain swirled with new concepts for Heart’s Warming Eve Holiday, which was right around the corner. Rarity felt her creativity ready to be shown in the form of fashion and today was the chance to show it by drafting designs. Last night’s dreams were filled with nothing but beautiful images of ponies wearing expertly and tastefully created holiday clothes. It was a miracle that she did not get any nightmares despite the horrible incident two days ago. The images of those zombies and that rogue human and ghost weren’t enough to bring Rarity down in her dreams.
The unicorn made her way downstairs to organize for the day. When she arrived at the bottom of the stairs, she noticed several things were amiss. Opal wasn’t near her food and water bowl, something she was always punctual when it came to her pet. Meals were something the feline refused to miss.
“Opal? Where are you, darling? Don’t you want your breakfast? I have your favorite food.”
With Opal still not arriving at her food bowl, Rarity began to search around the main room. She wasn’t near her dressing station or behind the dressing curtains. Rarity was slightly worried as this behavior was abnormal for Opal, who at times was difficult but otherwise a good cat. The second thing amiss was the air, or rather how it smelled. The room usually smelled of fresh lavender or the random assortment of flowers she would purchase from the Flower Sisters. But her nostrils told her otherwise as a subtle but foul stench began to emanate from the first-floor hallway.
As she walked down the Hallway, she noticed two things. One of them was Opal, who was outside staring at the first-floor bathroom. While this relieved Rarity that her cat was no longer missing, another worry stepped into her mind. The second thing she noticed was that her bathroom door was cracked open. For various reasons, the door was always to remain closed as any possible unpleasant smells tended to distract and distress customers. It was necessary as some ponies were often nervous at trying new clothes out of their element.
Horrid smells could mean a loss of business, not to mention signs of unladylike hygiene. Gossip was prone to spreading like wildfire in Ponyville, and Rarity knew that fact well. Rarity was strict about her image for her peace of mind and the avoidance of negative perceptions from other ponies. As she approached Opal, the cat noticed her master and hissed. Though Opal was not hissing at Rarity, she was hissing at the door.
“What’s wrong, Opal? Is something in there?”
Opal continued to hiss and stare at the door, making Rarity charge her horn up for possibly throwing an intruder that may lurk inside.
“Stand back, darling, let mother handle this.”
With a determination of a confident lady, she opened the door and was greeted by the sight of the shower curtain. It had been ripped from the rail and laid on the floor folded and stepped upon. There were no signs of what individual could have done this.
Rarity also noticed that the window to the bathroom had been opened. This was puzzling since it was too small for anypony to get through. None of these explained why the smell of the restroom was horrible. Nopony should have been in the restroom, for that matter, as a plumber had yet to be available for her broken toilet. Then the reason hit her like a ton of bricks, which was not pleasant.
”Oh no...please don’t let it be true! The only reason to open that small window is if...”
To confirm her worst fears, she used her telekinesis spell to lift up the toilet seat. The toilet lid shined in magic and slowly was opened. The sight before her was a rather large “dropping,” the likes of which she’d never seen before. Rarity’s eyes and nostrils twitched in distress before she screamed out loud for all of Ponyville to hear.
Konrad, Apple Bloom, Applejack, and their Royal Guard escorts hadn’t made it 50 yards past the Carousel Boutique before a scream was heard. Everyone stopped and turned to Boutique, causing all but Konrad to be alarmed. Not wasting any time, Sgt. Headstrong ordered 6 Guards to enter the home and search for the mare in distress.
“Land Sakes! That’s Rarity! She’s in trouble! Wait here y’all; I’m going to check it out.”
Applejack ran in after the Royal Guards, while Apple Bloom was calmed by Konrad.
“Apple Bloom, if I was a betting man, and I’m usually not, I’d bet she’s fine. I do admit, I don’t know her at all, but I get the feeling she’s that type of gal that makes a big deal out of nothing.”
Konrad had to try his best not to laugh and lose his composure as he knew he was lying through his teeth. Apple Bloom was innocent as always, and she bought his lie hook, line, and sinker.
“Okay, and you’re kinda right. She’s a really generous mare, but she does get upset over small things. I’ve seen it enough, and so has my sister. Her sister Sweetie Belle has told me some other stories too. And she’s one of the friends I want you to meet! She’s a crusader too! But I hope Rarity is okay, though.”
“Sounds awesome, Apple Bloom. Good to know.”
While he listened to Apple Bloom, Konrad was fighting a grin; one that would make the Grinch run for his money. Deep down in his gut, he knew what Rarity’s scream was about. Konrad was confident because that “thing” came from his gut the night before. His previous deployments to the Middle East made him realize that if a toilet had water, the smell wouldn’t be as bad if it could not be flushed. But there was one thing wrong with Rarity’s restroom; her toilet had no water.
The time passed from dropping the “present” in the dry toilet should have been enough. The smell was undoubtedly baked in; a severe cleaning and scent spray to remove it would be required. Konrad didn’t want to imagine how bad it smelled but hoped Rarity fainted in shock. He didn’t even hate Rarity; he liked her and her generosity. After having come to terms with finding pony mares attractive, Konrad knew why Spike simped for the fashionista. She was hot and carried herself confidently; no one could blame Spike except for his virgin approach to her.
But the temptation to get a reaction was just too great for Konrad. In many ways, he blamed Xbox Live for giving him the bad trolling habit. He only hoped messing around wouldn’t bite him later on. He did reconcile himself with the fact that he had no choice but to use Rarity’s restroom. After 30 seconds passing, which seemed like an eternity, Applejack and a Guard came outside and made their way back. Konrad had to give the Royal Guards some credit; their military bearing was impressive.
Not a single sign to the untrained eye would give away the Guard’s true feelings of what they discovered. But Konrad wasn’t an untrained individual; he could tell the Guard was using all of his power to not bust out laughing. Applejack, however, was red-faced like the apples on their farm. She didn’t want to say it, but he knew the reason.
“You two might want to go ahead on to the Library. Rarity...needs my help with something. She’s fine, so don’t worry about her, you hear?”
”Yes! I knew it! Ahahaha! Let’s see how far I can push this! It’s too hilarious!”
Konrad was fighting hard to stop laughing as he turned to the Guard next to Applejack.
“Hey man, like I said, I was in the military too. We got a lot in common. I like the fact you answered the call of duty.”
The Guard still maintained his bearing, but he clearly was on edge. Konrad knew the Guard understood the meaning but chose to hold it in.
“Sometimes it’s hard to get in life; we sometimes have to settle for number 2. It may stink, but we got to make sacrifices. It’s in our guts, you know?”
The stallion’s face started turning red like Applejack, as his limits were almost met.
”I’m going to break this dude! C’mon, man! Gimme the lulz!”.
“But I’ll leave you with this. You Spartrota guys are tough. I know we had our differences, but at the end of the day, you and I are both military turds.”
The Guard lost it and busted out laughing, as the absurdity of the situation was too much. Sgt. Headstrong chided the likely Private for breaking his composure but ultimately punished him by making him go help clean the mess up. Applejack’s face was beet red, and she lowered her hat to hide her embarrassment. Sgt. Headstrong turned back to Konrad and narrowed his eyes.
“Look, the Royal Guard must maintain proper discipline and military bearing in the public eye at all times. You just caused one of my best troops to fail that important duty! Stop wasting time and get to the Princesses already! I can’t wait to be rid of you!”
”Bite me fuckboy!”
Faking his innocence, Konrad asked,
“What? I just wanted to give respect to you guys! Geez, c’mon, Apple Bloom! Let’s go see Princess Luna!
A grunt of annoyed disapproval came from Sgt. Headstrong,
“And her majesty, Princess Celestia.”
Konrad rolled his eyes, waved a dismissing hand, and continued,
“Yeah, her too. Onward bound!”
Konrad, Apple Bloom, Sgt. Headstrong and the remaining Guards continued their way towards the Golden Oaks Library. Applejack, the laughing Private, and the rest of the other Guards still in Rarity’s home began the task of helping Rarity clean up her restroom. Had she not been an Element of Harmony and already Hero of Equestria, it wouldn’t have been an issue for the Royal Guards to deal with. With that out of the way, Konrad gave his best Grinch grin as Apple Bloom enjoyed the shoulder ride.
”First the Good Feels, and now the lulz feels...damn the feels today! This is for you, Wojak!”
It didn’t take long for them to reach the Library. An eager human and country filly was ready to be reunited with the Lunar Princess of the Night once more...
The walk to the Library after the Carousel Boutique "Incident" went without further issues. Apple Bloom kept talking about her friends, fun facts about Ponyville that Konrad didn't know, all the while she sat on his shoulders. The Solar Guards assigned to him kept an eye on him; most were still resentful of the lost pride that Konrad had taken away two nights ago. The man could still feel their disapproving gaze, but he didn't care. He was alive, and the sun was bright for the fall tone that Ponyville currently had.
He wished it was an early summer instead of autumn time for Equestria. Konrad could only imagine what the sight of seeing Equestria in the summertime would be like, but he was grateful for being alive after everything that had happened. The residents of Ponyville were already out and about doing their daily routines when they walked into the town square. The decorations from Nightmare Night were already gone and replaced with generic thanksgiving-like decorations.
Everypony immediately stopped what they were doing to watch the new visitor from last night. The only known single and mythical being known as a human walked into their town with a familiar filly on his shoulders. It was even more of a highlight that the Royal Guards were escorting him.
Konrad smirked, watching their faces of bewilderment and surprise as he walked by them with an almost chad-like swagger. Even in real life, the ponies had animated expressions, just as they had in the show, and it amused Konrad. Keeping his eyes forward with a small smile, he asked Apple Bloom,
"So, Apple Bloom, should we wave hello to them? It would be a good idea to break the ice."
Even though he couldn't see Apple Bloom's face, he knew she smiled when she replied, "Darn right, it's a good idea!".
The man and the filly started waving to everypony they saw, and Apple Bloom even called a few by their names. She said hello to a few ponies he had recognized and a few he didn't. Konrad figured some were other filler background ponies without exposure. If life was nice enough, he might get to know as few of them and learn more about Equestria as a whole, especially Ponyville itself. The situation was still strange to Konrad in many ways.
Aside from the fact he was in another world, it was strange to see buildings and homes that one would see in a sizeable mega-corporate amusement park that shall not be named. And they were in front of him with all their girl-looking yet very realistic appearance.
"It's as if someone took old European-styled homes and said, "Yeah, this is a good idea to girl the shit out of it!" Man, my life is really weird."
Both Konrad and Apple Bloom waved to the ponies while some of them waved back and smiled. Some were still staring at him and waved almost absent-mindedly, still in disbelief that a human existed. He spotted the Flower Sisters setting up a stand and remembered the mares portrayed as being dramatic over small things. He smirked and winked at Roseluck, giving her a flirting look. The mare looked away and blushed before giving him a small smile and waving back to him. The other mares, Daisy and Lily, instantly noticed what had happened and tried to get Konrad's flirting attention.
It was too late as he had turned away, ignoring them on purpose. He could hear them getting jealous as Lily asked Roseluck, "Why did he do that to you and not me?!" Roseluck shrugged before looking back at Konrad as Daisy complained, "Not fair. I'm pretty too! Hmpf! Come on, Daisy, let's get the flower stand ready."
"Ha! Mares are like women. They love attention and validation. It's good to act like a chad!"
As the flower girls returned to their business, Konrad, Apple Bloom, and the Guards continued walking away. Apple Bloom asked him, "Now, what the hay was up with them? Why were they acting like that?"
Konrad chuckled and replied, "Not sure, Apple Bloom. Don't worry about it."
Sgt. Headstrong then rolled his eyes, sarcastically adding, "Yeah, it's a mystery. We will never know, will we?"
"Ha! Don't be a jealous beta, dude!"
Konrad ignored him before asking Apple Bloom, "So, Apple Bloom, are we almost there yet?"
Apple Bloom replied, "Eeyup! Just keep going that way. It's around the Bowling Alley."
Konrad noticed the Ponyville Bowling Alley and was almost tempted to take a detour to check it out. He was reminded of the Guards' presence as two of them walked ahead of him. He figured they likely were securing the route as they mainly had walked an open and forward pathway. He doubted the Guards would allow him to wander off, even if Princess Luna wasn't waiting for him.
And the mere thought of Princess Luna snapped Konrad back to reality. He would be reunited with her once more, and his heart picked up its pace as he thought of her. Despite having been in a life-threatening situation two nights ago, Konrad still felt anxious to see her, albeit in a good way. He felt like he was about to get on a cool rollercoaster; he couldn't wait to get in the seat.
As Konrad and Apple Bloom turned around the corner, the sight of the Golden Oaks Library was now in front of them. It looked almost as cartoony as it had in the show. Despite that, the treehouse was very accurate in its depiction on the show. Even if he pinched his arm, Konrad doubted he would wake up. His meeting with Princess Luna and Celestia also worried him about behaving before the Princesses.
For his short time in Equestria, he had spewed swear words like a sailor, been rowdy, and thrown punches at Rainbow Dash. While Konrad knew she deserved it, he was no longer in America. He was the only human, Equestria was now a reality, and he had no money nor family to retreat to. The consequences of failing to integrate are real, and the reality of being the lone human in Equestria was sinking in. Konrad knew he'd have to learn to control his temper, especially with Rainbow Dash and Princess Celestia.
"At least Celestia seemed sorry. I can't say the same for Rainbow Dash. I got a feeling she and I might come to blows again. I'll be nice to Celestia, for Luna's sake. Hopefully, things will get a bit better."
After walking a few more feet, Konrad and Apple Bloom finally reached the entrance of the Golden Oaks Library. Konrad looked at Apple Bloom with his eyes and said, "End of the line Apple Bloom. I got to let you down."
The country filly went, "Aww!" but she didn't complain as he kneeled and let her jump off. Konrad looked at the door and noticed it was, as expected, pony-sized. He would have to lower his head to enter it, and Konrad hoped he wouldn't make a fool of himself. Before he could knock, Sgt. Headstrong sternly warned him, "Do not disrespect the Princesses; make sure you bow and speak when addressed."
Konrad stared at the Guard with the best poker face he could muster and did his best to suppress a back talk to the NCO. His previous experiences dealing with higher-ranking military members kicked back in, and Konrad gave the Guard a nod before replying, "Understood, Sgt."
Satisfied that Konrad got the message, Sgt. Headstrong knocked on the library door. After a few seconds, it opened and revealed Twilight Sparkle. The main character and unicorn looked up and noticed Konrad and smiled. She quickly turned to Sgt. Headstrong said, "Thank you for escorting him, sir."
The NCO merely nodded and gave Konrad the stink eye before walking back to the security perimeter his troops set up around the Library. Twilight quickly took notice of Apple Bloom and greeted her.
"Hello, Apple Bloom! I didn't expect to see you too. I take it your family enjoyed Konrad's company?"
Apple Bloom smiled back and cheerfully replied, "Eeyup! I showed him the Crusader Clubhouse, and we did apple-bucking too!"
Before Twilight could ask, Konrad quickly jumped in, "Yeah...I could have done better. It's harder than it looks, but I got a good hit. The Apples make a mean breakfast; it's been a while since I had a good one."
Twilight beamed happily before continuing, "I'm glad you had a good time, Konrad. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia are waiting for you inside."
Twilight Sparkle stepped aside and motioned for him to enter. But Konrad wouldn't forget his manners and motioned Apple Bloom to enter and said, "Ladies first."
Apple Bloom giggled before walking and followed by Konrad. Carefully entering through the door, Konrad was greeted by the familiar sight of the Library's main interior room. The view and smells were more apparent to him this time; the smell of pleasant timber, accompanied by the usual smell of books, met his senses. The Library had a nice homely feel to it, and Konrad did have to admit it would be an excellent place to read a book. As he finished taking the sight, he turned his attention to Princess Luna.
She was standing next to her sister, Princess Celestia, with both of them turning their attention to the newly arrived man. Princess Celestia gave that warm motherly smile she was known for, which put him at ease if only a little bit. But his full attention quickly refocused solely on Princess Luna. Just as she looked from the night before, the sparkles in her mane and tail were bright. He could see the affection she had for him in her eyes.
Konrad's heart started beating faster, and he did his best to keep his composure. He walked toward Princess Luna and respectfully bowed to her. Even though his inner American was screaming at him not to bow down to Royalty, if anyone deserved it, it was Princess Luna.
"Good morning, Princess Luna. It's great to see you again."
Princess Luna smiled and returned the bow of her own. Not wanting to be a dick, Konrad turned to Princess Celestia.
"And a good morning to you too, Princess Celestia."
Konrad did bow, though not as low and enthusiastic. If Princess Celestia noticed, she didn't complain or make it known, at least as far as he could tell. Apple Bloom herself bowed and caught the attention of Princess Luna.
"Ah! Good morning to you, too, fair Apple Bloom!"
Apple Bloom smiled before returning Luna's greeting, "Morning, Princess Luna!
Princess Luna hugged Apple Bloom before returning to her spot. The Lunar Princess noticed the bandana on Konrad and asked, "I see a fair trade has been made. I have to admit; I like the look very much."
Konrad smiled and added, "Thanks. Apple Bloom made me an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader."
Konrad gave Apple Bloom a quick hoof bump before Princess Celestia interjected, "I hate to interrupt, but we have some business to discuss."
Princess Luna quickly looked at her sister and gave her a raised eyebrow before returning her attention to Konrad.
"Yes, we have a lot of matters at hoof. Most notably, where you will be staying for the foreseeable future. We also have questions that need answers."
Before Konrad could ask questions, Twilight Sparkle hovered over a scroll with her magic. Even though he had seen magic before, it still was strange to see it in person. Konrad took the scroll and briefly felt the magic with his finger. It felt like a subtle tingling sensation, almost like a limb falling asleep without the uncomfortable aspect.
"Strange feeling but not bad. It even sounds like magic from the show. Now, what's on this list?"
Before Konrad could read it, Twilight Sparkle proudly talked about her checklist.
"As you can see, several topics need to be discussed and explored. I've compiled a checklist and an outline of the various questions your arrival has made. Starting from-"
"Ha! What a nerd! Cute nerd, but still, a nerd."
Konrad interrupted her by reading the first question on the list.
"How did you arrive? Well, I hope Luna gave a brief explanation about that one."
Princess Luna lowered her head and looked away for a little bit before admitting to Konrad.
"I haven't told anypony specific details from that night. I was upset at the hospital when I received the news of what happened to you at Sunny Town."
It was Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle's turn to lower their heads in shame. Princess Celestia apologized again, "And again, we are sorry for our actions. We rushed to judgment in error. I promise to give you the support you need to integrate into the Equestrian Society."
"We promise we'll help you feel welcome here! Just give us a chance to make it up to you."
Konrad set the list by his waist and put a finger to his chin as if he were contemplating. He gave a faux expression of sternness before smiling again.
"Well...of course, I'll give you guys a chance! Clean slate and all. Let’s just move forward from here on out, okay?"
The mares nodded before Konrad continued, "But yeah, I will explain how I got here as best as possible. It's a bit strange, and I don't fully understand it. So some empty spots might have to be filled in a bit. And the day leading up to my arrival in Equestria was no better than the night I had to fight those freaks in the forest."
The mares and the lone filly looked at each other, not fully understanding what he was getting at. As far as they knew, the Bloody Hooves and the Blanks of Sunny Town were the only undead beings to have ever existed. Konrad picked up on this and reassured them he would explain.
"Not the first time I've dealt with the undead. I'll explain it later."
He returned his attention to the list and discovered more questions than expected. And by more, there were a LOT of questions. There had to be at least one hundred questions on the sheet alone, and some of them ranged from frivolous curiosity to heavy-hitting questions. While Konrad considered himself a well-educated person, he was not a scholar nor a walking history book. Before he could continue, Konrad asked, "Is this all of it?"
Just as he turned to Twilight Sparkle, he watched her shake her head and pull out more scrolls. Many more scrolls hovered in the air before being set down on a table. Konrad looked at the scrolls with a surprised expression. Twilight didn't take long to realize the number of questions that would be asked and apologized with a light blush with her ears lowered as any pony would.
"Oh, sorry. I know it's a lot, but your presence is the scientific discovery of the century! There's so much to learn!"
He turned his attention back to the scrolls on the table, dreading what the other questions might be and their reactions to his answers. Sensing Konrad's unease, Princess Luna added, "Of course, they don't have to be answered all at once. For now, it's best to focus our efforts on immediate topics such as where you will be residing."
Konrad turned his attention to Princess Luna and asked, "Which is where exactly?"
Princess Luna gave him a warm smile and put him at ease. He answered, "After a discussion with my sister, we decided that you'll be a guest at the Canterlot Castle for the short term. The news of your presence has undoubtedly traveled or will travel throughout Equestria and beyond."
Princess Celestia added, "Reporters will flock to this lovely town and will likely not give you or the residents peace. We also have concerns about how other nations might react to your presence. For these reasons, you will be staying as a guest at our castle; this is the best course of action, for now. It will be that way until things settle down and a better plan is made for your integration into our society."
Konrad put a finger up as if he was about to argue, but he stopped himself. As much as he'd like to be independent and do his own thing, Konrad had to concede they had a point. If a mythical being popped up in America or on earth, that being would not get any privacy, nor would they be safe.
"I should be grateful that I am alive and on the good side of a nation's leader. I need to be on my best behavior. Besides, Ponyville will still be here, and I can unwind at the castle in style. All they want in return is for me to answer questions. I'll keep them as honest as possible without breaking their minds. Plus, I'll get to be near Luna. I'll miss being around Apple Bloom, though."
Konrad put his finger back down and said, "I see your point. I can't find any fault in that."
Apple Bloom frowned and lowered her head and ears in disappointment.
"Awww! I wanted to spend more time with you! I wanted you to meet my friends too!"
"Wow, I'm really important to her. This sucks seeing her sad."
Konrad knelt and lifted her chin, putting her back to eye level with him.
"Apple Bloom, don't worry about it. It's only temporary, and I promise I'll be back."
"Promise you'll come back?"
Konrad smiled, "I already did once; I can do it again."
Apple Bloom hugged him again, and the mares smiled at the wholesome image. As they broke their hug, Konrad got back up to his feet and asked, "So, that's the plan for now. When do we leave? And what about my truck and stuff?"
Princess Luna smiled and answered, "Your personal effects are secured in a nearby storage building close to the train station. They will be loaded on our private train coming in late tonight. From what my dear sister has told me, the truck was most challenging to bring here."
Princess Celestia added, "Indeed it was. In addition to being towed by several stallions, it required five spell casters to help push it. An object of that size and weight usually only requires two competent mages. You wouldn't know why that would be, would you?"
Konrad genuinely had no clue, but he could take a few guesses.
"I might have some magic resistance because I'm not from Equestria. If so, does that apply to any human-made item from earth? But I've told them I'm from the past, though. I need to figure out how to change my explanation of another world from the past. I can't let them know they are a cartoon from my dimension. They'd have a meltdown!"
"I don't know. There's a lot I need help understanding about the past few days. My life has been flipped upside down and shaken about. But I can start the truck and help drive in on a flatbed car. I assume those exist for trains here, correct?"
Princess Celestia nodded in affirmation before adding, "That would be very helpful. Now onto the subject concerning your weapons."
Konrad immediately put his guard up and dreaded hearing what he might hear from the Solar Princess. In no uncertain but polite terms, Konrad would tell Princes Celestia that he would not give up his weapons. The inner American couldn't allow such a sin to take place, Equestria's "safety" be damned.
"Okay," said Konrad in a guarded tone. "What about them?"
"From what my sister has told me and from what I have witnessed, I am uncomfortable with them being unsecured, and I'd rather have their presence remain unknown to the public as much as possible. For this reason-"
Konrad held up a hand and stopped Princess Celestia from talking.
"If you're talking about confiscating my weapons from me, you're out of your mind. Those weapons are not only invaluable to me, but they're my personal property! I've spent a lot of hard-earned dollars on those, and I would be dead without them! So if you think I'm going to"
Sensing Konrad's anger was rising, Princess Luna jumped in and said, "Konrad, I know what your concern is, but please, don't rush to conclusions in error like my dear sister did the other night. I promise you I would never allow an unjust deprivation of property, especially against you. I assure you, that's not what this is."
Princess Luna walked forward and stood on her hind legs, putting a hoof on his shoulder. She gently spoke to him, "Trust me, Konrad."
He stared into her blue eyes, and his worries melted away like butter. He could smell a faint scent of sweet lavender from her ethereal mane as if its purpose was to put him at ease. Konrad calmed down and replied, "I'll always trust you, Luna."
The man and the Lunar Princess smiled as Princess Celestia watched on. She raised one of her eyebrows as she watched the two stare at each other. Twilight Sparkle and Apple Bloom could only nervously watch on before Konrad broke eye contact with Princess Luna as she retreated her hoof back. Princess Luna suppressed a blush before nodding back to her sister to continue.
"As I was saying, they must remain secured at our castle for now. If the news of your weapons' capabilities is spread, other nations or other unscrupulous actors might attempt to commit theft of them for their purposes. I'd rather not have an unnecessary arms race ensue, and I'm sure you'd be unhappy if they were stolen. As a fair compromise, only you will have access to them."
Konrad hated being told he couldn't carry firearms where he saw fit, but Princess Celestia had valid points. He had no proper place to store his guns, nor did he care to lay an ass whopping on anypony who dared to steal them. Having sole access to the guns would be a good compromise, and he felt better knowing he could get to them if a situation called for it. Plus, he had Princess Luna to back him up.
"Okay, Princess Celestia. I understand your concerns, but I want a range to practice from time to time. And since you're letting me stay as a guest, I'll give a little too. Luna can have access to them if the need arises. She's the one I trust."
For a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, Princess Celestia stared at Konrad. Konrad could feel Princess Celestia analyzing him despite her having the best poker face he had ever seen, human or cartoon pony. It was possible, too, that she was unused to non-royals pushing back or making counterdemands of their own. Konrad knew that if he hadn't saved Princess Luna, and they hadn't wronged him, he'd likely not have gotten away with pushing back. In any case, Princess Celestia serenely smiled and nodded in agreeance with Konrad.
"A fair compromise indeed. With that matter settled-"
Konrad raised a finger, stopping her from talking.
"Sorry to interrupt again, but if the weapons need to be truly secured, I need to inspect them as soon as possible and take inventory. I have weapon cases in my truck they can be locked in."
Princess Celestia was happy to hear that, and Twilight Sparkle, who was no longer nervous, excitedly asked, "Oh! May I come to see your truck and human artifacts to take notes?! Please?!"
He turned to Twilight Sparkle and swore he could see cartoony sparkles in her eyes.
"I wonder if I'll ever get used to the cartoony-ness of this world. It's cute but strange. I guess it wouldn't hurt to let her tag along."
"I guess I could show you a thing or two-"
He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Twilight Sparkle jumped up several times like an excited little girl.
"YEA!!! YES, YES, YES!"
Apple Bloom giggled while Princess Celestia smiled. Princess Luna raised an eye-brown at Twilight Sparkle's enthusiastic antics while Konrad shrugged his shoulders. Apple Bloom pointed out, "Acting like a silly filly, ain't ya, Twilight?"
The unicorn stopped and blushed before apologizing, "So sorry, everypony; I'm just excited to learn!"
"No problem, we all have our things we get excited over.", said Konrad.
As Twilight calmed down, she hovered over a scroll and began writing what Konrad assumed were notes. Konrad turned his attention to the Princess and asked, "So, is that all for now?"
Princess Luna and Celestia looked at each once more before returning their attention to Konrad. Princess Celestia was the first to speak.
"That is all for now. The train will arrive an hour before midnight. Please meet us there with all of your belongings. Until then, you are free to explore Ponyville."
Konrad clapped his hands and smiled, "Awesome sauce! I'll put my backpack in the truck when I get there. So, who's going with me other than Twilight?"
Princess Luna frowned, and Konrad knew why. She wasn't going to walk with him to his truck, which meant he'd have to meet up with her later. The man wished he could spend some alone time with Luna to catch up and relax. He got his confirmation when she spoke to him, "My apologies Konrad, my sister and I still have other matters to discuss. However, we will be having lunch at the local restaurant at noon. My treat, of course."
"Lunch with the best Princess? Hell yeah!"
Konrad gave a thumbs up and said, "Can't wait to see you there! Now, where is the storage building?"
"I think I can show you the way, Konrad."
The man turned his attention to the newcomer and noticed it was none other than Shining Armor himself. He seemed pretty chill and physically okay from their fight. For some strange reason, he didn't harbor any resentment toward Shining Armor. While he, too, made the same mistake as the other ponies, Shining Armor apologized and seemed to mean it.
"Eh, I'll let it go. Who knows? Maybe he's a cool bro."
Konrad casually waved to Shining Armor and asked, "Hey, dude, what's up? You feeling better from the other night?"
Shining Armor walked out from the hallway, which Konrad assumed led to another room not shown in the show. The stallion walked out and made his way over to the man. He held out a hoof which Konrad responded by bumping with his fist. His fist met the hoof and made a solid bro contact, sealing the greeting of bros.
"Yeah, we'll get along just fine."
"Much better, thanks. My horn was sore from using too much magic to keep my signature shield up. That weapon of yours was no joke."
Konrad chucked and replied, "Yeah, well, you got me good in the chest with that buck. I'm still sore and got some bruising, but I'll be fine."
"Heh, good to hear that, bro. We should do some sparing some time."
Konrad smiled before replying, "I'm down for that; we gotta keep our fighting skills sharp."
Before Konrad and Shining Armor could continue, the mares and the lone filly were perplexed. None of the females could understand why the males before them were joking and being chill, considering they had fought the other night in combat. Even Princess Celestia herself found it perplexing and shared a look of confusion with her sister and student. Apple Bloom looked at Konrad with a confused but adorable expression. Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle were the ones to question the spontaneous friendliness between the two males.
"I don't understand; both of you fought each other the other night, and now you're acting like best friends?"
"I agree, Twilight Sparkle; it is most strange. I do not understand it myself, either. I'm not complaining about the lack of animosity between you two; it is simply...confusing."
Konrad shrugged his shoulder and merely replied, "It's a bro thing, Luna."
Shining Armor nodded, "Pretty much this. You wouldn't understand it, Twiley."
Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle were incredulous at Konrad and Shining Armor's statement. Neither could believe what they heard while Princess Celestia giggled at the amusing sight before her. Apple Bloom chose not to question it and let it go. Princess Luna rolled her eyes while Twilight Sparkle was almost on the verge of a meltdown. The unicorn tried her best to understand but couldn't.
It was amusing to Konrad seeing Twilight going through the motions of being confused. He saw an expression of confusion, followed by anger, then "WTF?!". It was the same way she reacted to Pinkie Pie's "Pinkie Sense." The unicorn mare dropped it with a slightly creepy smile and said, "Haha! Okaaayy then! Let's go see that truck."
Konrad turned to Princess Luna and said, "See you later, Luna." He slightly bowed to both Princesses before walking out the front door. Apple Bloom bowed to the Princesses and followed Konrad out the door with Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Twilight used her magic and floated out a saddle bag, quills, scrolls, and an ink pad.
"I'll compile an inventory list and observation notes. Bye!" said Twilight Sparkle.
The door closed, leaving the Princesses alone. Princess Luna frowned for a split second before turning back to her sister. She asked Celestia, "Well, what is your opinion of him, dear sister?"
Princess Celestia was quiet for a few seconds, and if Princess Luna knew her sister well, it was her trying to form an honest and fair opinion.
"He has the spirit of a fighter; that much is certain. He not only has a high opinion of you but also trusts you, seeing how he openly said it himself. And I can see why; both of you went through a terrifying and extraordinary event that nopony has ever experienced, much less survived. He also is still distrusting of me."
Princess Celestia took a sigh and used her telekinesis spell on her crown. The magical, solar-colored aura covered her Royal Crown in her and was set gently on an end table near her. She ran a hoof through her mane before continuing, "And that's perfectly understandable. I made a serious error in judgment, and I haven't made such a mistake not since the first few years after I lost you to Nightmare Moon."
Princess Luna walked over and hugged her, doing her best to let her know she loved her.
"It was a horrible time, but I'm glad it's over, and we can all start anew. Is there anything else about him you think of?"
Letting her sister go from the hug, Princess Celestia continued, "I'm...not sure. I'm certainly not used to anypony, or in this case, any human pushing back on me. It's been quite a long time since any creature has done so. It is refreshing and stimulating; I hope it doesn't happen too much. It's possible Konrad is not used to interacting with any Royalty. It's also possible such leaders did not rule his home."
Princess Luna smirked slightly, "Strange, he bowed and gave me due respect upon our first meeting. Perhaps he recognizes a superior ruler when he sees one."
Princess Celestia stuck out her tongue and used her wing to swat Princess Luna playfully. Both giggled from the playful banter before Celestia continued, "Good one, dear sister. In any event, I'm curious to learn more about him and his people. I do have a request for you, though, dear sister."
Luna now focused on her sister with a serious expression as Celestia put a wing on her.
"After speaking with him, I believe the concerns you shared last night are valid. He cares for our subjects; that is certain, and I'm happy about that. However, he is isolated from his people; we know little about them and their history. The small differences between our species and culture might stress him. In addition, our subjects easily get the wrong impression upon seeing anything new, as you are aware."
Luna immediately remembered the first Nightmare Night celebration upon her return. She knew precisely was Celestia was getting at. Celestia continued, "Please watch out for him in the coming days. He will need you just as much as you needed him the other night."
Luna nodded as Celestia retreated her wing.
"I understand...well, I should attend to other important matters.
Celestia smiled, "Ah, such as making a reservation for lunch, I see."
Princess Luna smiled, "Of course, dear sister! We can't make important decisions on an empty stomach. And I wish to spend the day with him too. I will see you later, dear sister."
As Princess Luna walked out the door, a pair of her Lunar Night Sentinels joined her to escort their Princess to her next stop. Princess Celestia smiled as she used her magic to put her crown back on her head. She turned her attention toward the hallway to the guest room and said, "You can come out Cadence."
Princess Cadence emerged from the guest room and out of the hallway. After joining her aunt in the main room, Princess Cadence asked, "How did you know I was listening?"
Princess Celestia smiled, "Since Shining Armor introduced himself. I highly doubt he woke up before you if his explanation of his meeting with Konrad was any indication. Magical exhaustion, especially the type of spell he used, requires a few days of recovery. I am glad their reunion went well if a bit confusing and amusing. Stallions will be stallions, after all."
Princess Cadence smiled and added, "That is true, dear aunt. Even Shining Armor throws me for a loop every now and then. Since there's no ill will between the two, I'm no longer concerned. I will keep an eye on Konrad, but not for the reasons I initially thought I would."
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow again, though she suspected he already knew the real reason. With a small, serene smile, she asked Cadence, "Oh? No longer concerned for Shining Armor's safety, I see. If not, then what is the reason?"
Princess Cadence gave a cheesy smile before saying. "Must I spell it out, dear aunt? Okay, you win. There's love between Konrad and Luna, at least in the early stages. Anypony could see the attraction between the two if they looked hard enough. I would never have suspected Luna would be affectionate toward a non-pony, much less a mythical human being. But there's only one question, though..."
Princess Celestia was curious about what Princess Cadence's following statement would be. Celestia herself certainly didn't expect Luna to be attracted to a non-pony herself, either. However, she had been alive long enough to know life would always find a way to spring a surprise. Princess Celestia asked, "And what that might be, my dear niece?"
Princess Cadence stared at the door as if she was looking at Konrad and Princess Luna right before her. "Will it grow into something greater than mere attraction?"
It was now Princess Celestia's turn to stare at the door. The Solar Princess then added, "We will see, dear Cadence. We will see in time. I have no objections as long as Luna is safe and happy. If Konrad does wish to court her officially, he will need to be informed of what that entails: boundaries, public perception concerns, etiquette, and anything else I may have missed. I trust you'll inform him if the need arises and guide him as required?"
It was now Princess Cadence's turn to have starry sparkles in her eyes. The thought of having to guide someone with her knowledge of love was an exciting prospect.
"Of course, dear aunt! Finally, my time to shine! He'll have his hooves full in more ways than he can imagine. But with my guidance, Konrad will do just fine. Or is it hands in this case?"
Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia giggled before they were interrupted by Spike waking up.
"Oh no! Twilight! I'm sorry I overslept!"
The young drake ran down, hoping not to meet an annoyed Twilight Sparkle. He was surprised to see Princess Celestia and Cadence. He quickly bowed and worriedly asked, "Good morning, your highnesses. Is Twilight around?"
Princess Cadence was the first to speak, "Twilight left not too long ago with Konrad. They'll be gone for a bit. Your friend Apple Bloom and Shining Armor joined them. They left for a little "science" expedition."
"And she didn't take me?! Darn, she must still be mad about last night. Wait, the human dude was here?! And I missed him!? Where did they go?"
Princess Cadence winked at Princess Celestia before reassuring Spike. "Don't worry about it, Spike; Twilight will be fine. Speaking of which, have you had breakfast, dear aunt?"
Princess Celestia knew where Princess Cadence was going. It wasn't known to the public, but Princess Celestia knew how to make pancakes fit for Royalty. Celestia made her way to the kitchen and began to start breakfast.
"Breakfast shall be made shortly. Do you want gems on your pancake, Spike?"
Spike immediately nodded and looked back at the library door. He waved his hand dismissively toward the perceived direction of Twilight Sparkle and said, "Eh, Twilight will be fine. She's got this."
Princess Cadence giggled and looked at the door herself before saying, "I'm sure she will. I'm sure they all will be fine."
Spike and Princess Cadence hadn't experienced a great breakfast in such a long time. The day was off to a good start, and it couldn't get any better.
Konrad was relieved the meeting with the Princesses went better than expected and was happy he’d get to stay at the Canterlot Castle with Princess Luna. He was disappointed he had to leave Ponyville, but was grateful to still have some time to spend with Apple Bloom. The little filly asked, “Are you okay, Konrad? Is something bothering you?”
The man turned to the filly as Shining Armor, and Twilight Sparkle walked ahead of them. Konrad replied, “Just a bit disappointed I have to go away for a bit, but I’ll come back to visit. And that’s a promise I’ll be keeping.”
Apple Bloom smiled as Shining Armor added, “It will be fine, Konrad. This is temporary, and we’re just trying to watch your back. We really have no clue how the other nations will react. Equis has been peaceful for centuries but wasn’t always like that.”
Konrad sported a puzzled expression and asked Shining Armor, “Equis? I’m confused. I thought this was Equestria; that’s what Princess Luna told me anyway.”
The unicorn stallion answered, “Equis is the planet; Equestria is our country.”
“Oh.” said Konrad, “That makes sense, my country was called the United States of America, and we simply called the planet Earth.”
Twilight Sparkle’s face beamed excitedly as she used her magic and wrote down all the information Konrad spoke on a parchment paper. Twilight Sparkle said, “Please, keep talking; this is just pure gold.”
Konrad teased, “Nerd alert.”
Apple Bloom and Shining Armor laughed as Twilight Sparkle’s face reddened before she said, “Hey! I’m not a nerd.”
Her brother shook his head and said, “Yes, you are Twiley. Just own up to it; there’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.”
”Wow, they really are brother and sister. This is really interesting to watch.” thought Konrad.
Twilight Sparkle looked and pointed at her brother accusingly before saying, “Pot calling the kettle black. Case in point: O&O.”
Shining Armor glared daggers at his sister while she smiled proudly at her claim. Shining Armor defended himself by saying, “That doesn’t count; it’s a legitimate game anypony can play.”
”Don’t tell me it’s Dungeons and Dragons. If it is...then that’s freaking awesome!”
As his curiosity increased, Konrad asked, “O&O? What’s that?”
Before Shining Armor could explain, Twilight Sparkle beat him to the punch. “O&O is called Ogres and Oubliettes. It’s a game where you have a character sheet with stats and use your imagination to command your player. You can use a board or action figurines to represent your character or use chips on a board to measure where your character is. Any action taken by the player is determined by the dice you cast, and you can use many kinds of dice. The dice sets used to come with several polygonal shapes for different situations-”
”Called it!
As Twilight Sparkle continued her explanation, Konrad whispered to Apple Bloom and said, “They’re nerds, aren’t they, Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom giggled and whispered, “Eeyup, they sure are.”
Neither Shining Armor nor Twilight Sparkle noticed their sidebar conversation as the mare finished by saying, “-and that’s how the game is played, and why my brother is just as nerdy as me. Ah-ha! See, I told you so!”
Shining Armor huffed in annoyance before Konrad, and Apple Bloom pointed at the siblings and said, “NERDS!”
“HEY!” shouted Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle, “We’re not nerds!”
Apple Bloom and Konrad laughed before the man said, “It’s fine, guys, nothing wrong with being a little nerdy. Besides, we humans had a game called “Dungeons and Dragons.” It’s the same thing, and I’ve played it many times as a young teen.”
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle looked at each and grinned. Before Konrad could react, the two unicorns pointed at him and said, “NERD!”
Apple Bloom laughed while Konrad sighed and said. “Yup, I admit it. Guilty as charged.”
Apple Bloom said, “Wow, Konrad, Ah didn’t think you were a nerd at all.”
The man shrugged and said, “Eh, whatever, it is what it is. Better to be honest and enjoy the things you like regardless of whatever label gets thrown your way. Besides, you’d have fun playing the game too.”
“Really?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Really, really. I’ll show you how to play it sometime. Trust me, it’s a lot of fun.”
Apple Bloom smiled before bringing a hoof to her chin and pondered for a split second. She asked, “If Ah play the game, does that mean Ah’ll be a nerd too?”
“Yes, Apple Bloom, yes it does. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all.”
Apple Bloom jumped and smiled while cheering, “Cool! If you show me how to play the game, Ah can show mah friends, and we might be able to earn our cutie marks!”
Konrad smiled, ruffled her mane, and said, “You very well could, Apple Bloom.”
Shining Armor and Twilight nodded in agreement before the unicorn mare wrote the information down on the parchment paper. Twilight Sparkle asked, “That’s interesting; you have a game exactly like ours. It’s a bit...strange. That's one hay of a coincidence, just like the language we're speaking.”
”Oh no, she might be wondering about Earth. I can’t let them know they’re a TV show in my world. I told them I’m from the past, so how will I spin that back?”
“Yeah.” said Konrad, “It is, isn’t it? Anyway, why overthink it? That’s just one thing my people have with your ponies. We both have good taste, am I right?”
Twilight pondered the information with suspicion but shook her head as she disregarded it for now. Shining Armor said, “I’ll say, you gotta join my O&O group when we get to Canterlot. I have some spare dice I can lend you.”
”Play Dungeons and Dragons with Ponies?! My life is weird but hot damn, that sounds like fun!”
The man pointed at the stallion and said, “You have a deal, bro.”
The man and the stallion bump their fist and hoof together, signifying the deal. Apple Bloom and Twilight Sparkle smiled before the four walked toward the warehouse where Konrad’s truck was stored. Twilight Sparkle asked him several questions along the way, mostly minor things.
The man answered all the questions without hesitation and was grateful Twilight Sparkle avoided the heavy-hitting questions. He especially liked the shocked look on all three of the ponies’ faces when he was asked, “How many people inhabited he planted during your time?”
When Konrad admitted the honest answer of eight billion people, their jaws dropped in disbelief. Twilight jotted down the answer on her paper and stopped asking about humans for a little bit. They eventually made it to the warehouse, which was just a short distance from the Ponyville Train Station. A couple of ponies stared at Konrad as they walked by, and the man admitted he enjoyed the attention of the ponies in disbelief. The warehouse was not too big and appeared to be owned by the railroad based on the cartoonish train symbol on the doors.
Six Solar Guards were guarding the warehouse, with two guarding the entrance. They saluted Shining Armor before letting the four of them inside. Konrad was relieved seeing his truck in the center of the warehouse and hoped his guns were messed with too much. He remembered his smartphone was left in the glove compartment and was loaded with safe photos and videos for the Equestrians to see. He grinned at showing them videos about Earth and his personal life, knowing the ponies would eat it up in excitement.
“Finally, we meet again, my...my...truck.”
Apple Bloom, Twilight Sparkle, and Shining Armor looked at Konrad and felt sorry for the man. He was obviously sad as he walked up to the truck. The blue Ford Bronco was full of mud on the outside, with many sticks and leaves anywhere and everywhere. In addition, the windshield had bullet holes which caused the glass to further crack. If Konrad were to drive the vehicle on the street, he was worried it might break even further. In addition, one of the locks on the doors was busted open, as if somepony forced their way in.
Before any of the ponies could say anything, the man walked over to the driver’s side door and opened it. The door latch was still functional, but the lock itself was destroyed. His spare clothes, weapon cases, and other supplies were strewn about. The glove compartment was also opened, and his various car papers were soaked in water on the floorboard. The man’s face bored an angered look as they quickly went through his vehicle. Konrad tried his best to find the cell phone and was relieved it had been lodged in the passenger seat cushion.
”Well, at least I didn’t lose this. I’d be pissed if I couldn’t see my family photos again.”
Twilight Sparkle asked, “Konrad, is everything okay?”
The man quickly popped out of the truck after unlocking the backdoor. He sarcastically replied, “Other than having the lock on the door be busted open, the vehicle being waterlogged and at risk of mold growth, and all my belongings having been thrown all over the place, just fine.”
All three ponies got the message that Konrad was angry, with neither saying a word further. The three ponies walked toward the back of the truck to see what Konrad was doing. Konrad sighed in relief as he found his weapons in the back. Apple Bloom and Shining Armor recognized the long gun he had used repeatedly. The man took one of the magazines from the long arm and began removing the rounds. Shining Armor asked, “What are those?”
Konrad replied, “It’s the cartridges the weapon uses. This weapon is called a “Dragunov,” named after the weapon’s designer. It’s a sniper rifle with quick follow-up shots and can carry ten of these at a time. It fires the bullet seated in the cartridge through the gun’s barrel and out of the muzzle end, with the spent case ejected. Think of these weapons as cannons because that’s essentially what they are.”
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle looked at each other, hearing Konrad’s revelation. The man had a front-row seat to the sibling ponies as they conversed with each other. Shining Armor said, “Cannons?! Of course! It’s so simple!”
Twilight wrote down notes on the paper quickly and enthusiastically before adding, “Exactly! It’s ingenious, and we can downscale Equestria’s cannons by making prototypes!”
Konrad stopped what he was doing and said, “Wait, I’m certain Princess Celestia said she DIDN’T want these known to the public. So I’m certain she wouldn’t want MORE of the being made, especially the weapons data.”
The man was ignored as Twilight Sparkle continued, “We’ll have to analyze his weapons and take more notes. If we can’t reverse engineer them, we can make simpler versions from what information we have. That will require manufacturing and testing, and we’ll have to use trusted ponies for the program.”
“And arm all of the Royal Guards in Equestria with them. Crossbows will be replaced, and we’ll hold an edge over any enemy, especially with zombies or any creature that attacks Equestria. Quick Twiley, write all this down!”
Twilight Sparkle looked at the quill writing down her notes as it hovered in the air in her magical aura. The mare smiled and said, “Already on it, BBBFF!!”
Konrad turned to Apple Bloom and said worriedly, “Apple Bloom, what the heck did I just do?”
Apple Bloom looked at the two sibling ponies and said, “Welp, looks like ya spilled a secret if Ah were to guess. Ah promise to keep this quiet since the Princesses wanted this to not spill out. Ah also don’t really understand half this science whatnot talk anyway.”
The man smiled at Apple Bloom as he said, “You’re a good little filly, you know that?”
Apple Bloom beamed an innocent smile before Konrad turned to Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle as he snapped his fingers. This caught their attention before he reminded them, “You two can write the notes down all you want, but Princess Celestia made it clear to keep this under wraps. Don’t make me narc on you too.”
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s eye pupils shrunk for a split second as they remembered Princess Celestia’s explicit wishes of “preventing an arms race,” which made Twilight Sparkle say, “O-of course! We promise we won’t carry out an unauthorized weapons program. We’re just taking notes in case one were to be made.”
Shining Armor nodded and said, “Yup, what she said.”
Konrad narrowed his eyes at the two and said, “Oh, you mean in case you were to violate her orders? That’s nice; I’ll be sure to let her know.”
“WAIT!” said Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle.
“That’s not what we meant.” said Twilight, “What we mean is, if a weapons program were to be authorized, these notes would be really helpful. Equestria can and has been attacked several times in our history.”
Shining Armor stepped in to help his sister by saying, “You have to admit, your weapons made a huge impact from two nights ago. You demonstrated that when armed with a competent fighter, these weapons can make one heck of a plot whopping on an adversary. We were invaded not too long before your arrival, and while it worked out in the end, these weapons of yours would have been helpful. Even more so than two nights ago! My Spartrota Unit did take casualties, and it’s a miracle none perished. We would have lost good ponies if that had been a standard unit. That fight will have been over much sooner if we have weapons like these of our own.”
”Yeah, firearms are cool but still, I can’t let these spread in the world, not yet, at least.”
Konrad sighed and said, “That’s true, but until Princess Celestia and Princess Luna decide when that’s appropriate, we should keep this under wraps. If the time comes, I’ll volunteer to be an advisor and answer any question regarding my firearms to the best of my ability.”
“Firearms, another name for Konrad’s personal weapons,” said Twilight Sparkle. The quill wrote down the note on the paper as she finished her statement, which made the man shrug his shoulders. Konrad added, “Okay, now that we got that out of the way, I’ll finish up so we can get out of here.”
Konrad held up the Dragunov and quickly gave it an inspection. He also found a spent cartridge case and compared it with a loaded cartridge. Twilight Sparkle promptly wrote down all of the details he described. The man was too irritated to care about keeping the inner workings of a firearm a secret as he continued, “All of my weapons work the same way, and I have a lot left over for a lifetime, assuming I conserve them.”
“How many of these “cartridges” do you have?” asked Shining Armor.
”Hmm, I think I have a decent amount. I doubt I’ll blow through all over them. I might have to invest in archery soon unless the princesses approve of making ammo for me. If not, my guns will likely be museum pieces when I’m gone or be Area 51’d.”
Konrad took a quick visual scan of the ammo cases and replied, “Not exactly sure; I’d have to take a complete head count but rough estimate? Probably 2000 or so leftover of the Dragunov ammo, or 7.62 x 54r as it’s called. That’s not counting the other types of rounds I have. I got about 7,000 rounds into the truck before I ran out of time.”
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened at the number, while Apple Bloom said, “Darn, that’s a lot!”. Konrad shrugged before continuing, “And that’s a low number for the average person’s stockpile. There are people with more money than I have in my bank account, or “had,” I should say. Certain collectors had many times the amount of ammunition I own. Heck, these aren’t even all the weapons I used to own. I left eight of them at my apartment when I bugged out in a hurry. This was literally all I could grab at the time before I had to leave.”
Twilight Sparkle asked, “Is it okay for me to ask why you had to leave your home? You make it sound like something terrible happened.”
Shining Armor added another question before Konrad could answer, “And why would you flee in the first place? Was your home attacked? If so, why didn’t you stay to fight? After everything you did the other night, I can’t imagine you running away.”
Konrad looked at the two pony siblings and sighed while looking at the ground. The memories of Raccoon City were just as fresh in his mind as Sunny Town. Konrad tried his best to carefully give a succinct answer why saying, “Remember when I said Sunny Town wasn’t the first time I dealt with the undead? Let’s just say something similar happened, and the odds were not in my favor, even more so than back in Sunny Town. I don’t want to talk about it now; maybe later.”
“But-” said Twilight Sparkle before being interrupted by Konrad, “I said, I don’t want to talk about it.”
The mare looked at her brother, who shook his head at his sister. She got the message and dropped the subject without noting Konrad’s revelation. Neither of the ponies was sure what to say with the information the man had revealed. Twilight Sparkle’s quill wrote down Konrad’s statements automatically word for word. Her auto-record spell was helpful in long-term writing, and the information the man was revealing was extensive.
She was sure Spike would have complained at the many details Konrad talked about and was grateful he wasn’t here. Konrad eventually removed all the cartridges from the Makarov and Kalashnikov magazines and adequately stored the ammunition and weapons in their respective cases. He wanted to clean the guns but didn’t have the spare time.
After organizing the truck, Shining Armor offered his condolences, “Sorry about your truck and stuff, Konrad. From what I was told, they couldn’t get in to store your weapons. The door was locked, and it was impossible to unlock it with magic. They had to force it open with tools. I’m certain we can fix it later if you’d like.”
Konrad sighed before saying, “Thanks, bro, it’s just irritating, but I understand. And Twilight, I know you have many questions, but it’s best if you write some down for later. We’ll be here all day if I try to answer all the technical questions, and I’m not in the mood right now. That includes how the truck works.”
“Okay, sorry...” said Twilight Sparkle. Her ears lowered in disappointment as he used her magic to store the notes in a saddle bag. Konrad took the keys out of his pocket and said, “Now, let’s see if the truck will turn over. It’s going to be hard to take this to Canterlot if I can’t drive it out of here.”
All three ponies smiled and were excited to see the truck roar to life. The man walked to the driver’s side with the door open and sat in the seat. The ponies walked over and watched Konrad as he put his foot on the clutch and turned the key in the ignition. The Bronco made several whining noises and struggled to turn over before the engine eventually turned over. Konrad shouted, “YES! THANK YOU, GOD!” before revving the engine with gas. The noise in the warehouse amplified the engine’s noise, making the ponies cover their ears with their hooves.
Konrad laughed maniacally before Twilight shouted, “DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!”
“SORRY! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!” shouted Konrad as he revved the engine again.
Twilight narrowed her eyes at Konrad as Apple Bloom shouted, “KONRAD! IT’S TOO LOUD!”
The man felt guilty, turned the truck off, and said, “Sorry folks, I got carried away. It runs just fine, and by the way, the brakes were left in the park. Probably why it took forever to get here.”
Twilight Sparkle groaned in annoyance before saying, “That doesn’t explain why magic wouldn’t unlock the door. A simple unlocking spell rarely fails. Are we done here? I didn’t get as many notes as I hoped.”
Konrad rolled his eyes as he got out of the truck and closed the vehicle door. The man pulled out his phone and turned it on. Sure enough, there was plenty of power left on the phone, full of photos and videos he had saved. Nothing on the phone was unsafe for the ponies or any other creature on Equis to view. Konrad grinned and said, “Oh, I’m not so sure about that. I have this!”
He held it up with a grin, and the ponies were confused. Konrad noticed this and mentally chided himself as he thought, ”Oh yeah, they don’t know what smartphones are. Stupid me.”
“What is that, Konrad?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Follow me; I’ll show you outside and Twilight; this should make up for the notes you wanted to take about my stuff.”
Twilight Sparkle smiled and eagerly said, “Well, show us! Don’t make us wait.”
The man and the ponies walked out of the warehouse with the Solar Guards closing their doors. After walking away from the warehouse, Konrad explained, “This is my smartphone, also known as a cellphone. It’s a communication device to talk to people from near and far. It doesn’t work since there’s no network and towers to carry the signal. And before you ask, I’m not going to explain the technical details right now. But it can have a calculator, storing documents, and...”
He turned on the phone’s camera and took a quick picture of the ponies. Neither of the ponies in the photo was prepared and sported quizzed looks, not unlike awkward family photos. Konrad had to admit, it would be hilarious if he had posted the picture back on Earth on the internet. The number of reactions from 4Chan alone would have been hilarious, which made Konrad chuckle at the thought.
”As far as I’m aware, I’m the first human in Equestria to take photos...well, multi-verse is a thing, so probably no. Still cool, though.”
He walked over and showed them the photo. Their faces were shocked to see such a quick and clear photo. Apple Bloom said, “Woah! That’s cool!”
Shining Armor nodded his head and said, “Now that’s nifty. I wish you had given us a heads up; it’s not the most flattering photo.”
Konrad replied, “Eh, sorry about that. I was just trying to show off the phone. What do you think, Twilight?”
The unicorn mare was in awe at the device and, without warning, swiped it from Konrad. He didn’t even have time to blink before she began inspecting the phone and asked many questions. Twilight blurted out, “This is amazing! How does it work? What other applications can this device make? Is it magic-powered? This is truly revolutionary! How do you use it?”
Konrad rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, you can use it, Twilight. Thanks for asking me.”
Twilight Sparkle blew a raspberry at Konrad and said, “Oh, come on! You can’t just dangle a valuable artifact in my face and not let me study this! It’s not fair, and I’ve been very patient. You promised you to know?”
Apple Bloom said, “You made a promise, Konrad. Granny Smith told me we gotta keep our promises.”
”Dammit, Apple Bloom! Why do you gotta take her side and use Granny Smith’s logic on me!”
Konrad shook his head and said, “Yes, I did promise but still, not cool to just swipe property.”
Twilight Sparkle kept tapping the screen with her hoof to explore the phone’s functionality. All she managed to do was move the photo around with jitters and open up random applications, slowing the phone down. She huffed in annoyance, “Seriously, how does this work? How can I take more pictures with this thing?”
The man sported a smirk and said, “Well, I could show you how to use it, but...I want an apology first.”
Twilight Sparkle looked at Konrad with an annoyed pout and said, “What?! Why? Just show me how to use this! It’s for science!”
Shining Armor sighed, took the phone away with his magic, and hovered it back to Konrad. The stallion unicorn sighed and said, “Twilly, you can’t just take things without permission. Promise or not, it’s not how mom and dad raised us.”
Twilight groaned in annoyance once more and still sported her pouting. Konrad had to admit, it was cute and adorable, but he knew the main character, the mare was not worth having as an enemy. She replied, “Fine. I’m sorry, Konrad. I really just want to learn about humans and what your life was like.”
The man smiled and said, “Apology accepted.”
The man knelt down, and the ponies came up close as he motioned them to watch him use the phone. Using his pointer finger, Konrad said, “It’s a touchscreen. It’s meant for fingers, but it can be manipulated with hooves, so long as you’re careful. Just watch.”
The man closed the phone app and cycled through the main menu and the background apps. All three ponies went “Oooh” and “aah” as he showed them the essential functions. He explained what apps were, how they were updated and downloaded and showed them how to take pictures. He gave it to Twilight Sparkle, who successfully took a photo of him and Apple Bloom making goofy faces. She even took a picture of Shining Armor, which came out decent. Konrad was sure Princess Cadence would appreciate the photo herself. Twilight Sparkle even took a selfie, which was somewhat awkward as her aim with the camera wasn’t great.
”I should have shown her the selfie mode. Oh well.”
He even showed them how to record a video, which made the ponies flip out in amazement. The look on their faces was awe that a single mobile device could take better videos than Equestria’s heavy recording cameras. He recorded Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor saying hello and waving to their parents before panning the camera to Apple Bloom. The filly said hello to all of her immediate family members, which Konrad had always intended to show them before leaving for Canterlot.
After a whole hour of playing with the phone and answering more questions, Twilight Sparkle offered to give Konrad a town tour. The man gladly accepted and followed her, with Shining Armor and Apple Bloom by his side. He got to see not only the significant landmarks of Ponyville but other places he wasn’t aware of from the show.
In addition, more ponies were walking about, including other pegasi ponies flying in the sky. Every single pony within eyesight stared at Konrad, still shocked to see a real-life human walking in their presence. Even Ditzy (Derpy) Hooves flew by and stared at him before adorably flying into a house wall and harmlessly bumping her head. The cross-eyed mare rubbed her head and blushed with a sheepish smile before flying off.
Konrad chuckled as Twilight Sparkle face hooved at the accident-prone mare. The man continued to enjoy the attention as they walked through Ponyville. And to top it off, he had Apple Bloom, the best member of the CMC, next to his side. For Konrad, the day was only getting better and better, but his instincts made him feel a bit on edge.
Shining Armor noticed this and asked, “You okay, Konrad? You look like you’re on alert.”
To the best of his ability, the man looked around and saw nothing out of place. Looked at Shining Armor and replied, “Dunno, bro. I just had a strange feeling that I was being watched, not in a good way. I think I might have a little bit of PTSD or something from the other night.”
Shining Armor nodded and said, “Gotcha. I don’t blame you for feeling that way. But I have guards stationed around Ponyville, and Twilight and I are no slouches in the magic defense department. Anything that messes with you will have to answer to us.”
Apple Bloom added, “And me! Hiya!”
Apple Bloom executed a few karate moves before losing balance and falling down. The filly added, “Ah’m okay.”
Konrad laughed before helping her back up. After helping Apple Bloom get back on her hooves, Konrad asked, “So, where are we going?”
Twilight answered, “Well, the park is nearby, and it’s a bright day. Would you like to go for a walk in the park? It should be relaxing for you, and there’s bound to be many ponies who’d like to meet you. Oh! I just remembered that Princess Luna is arranging lunch for you at the Ponyville Café and that Pinkie Pie has a surprise for you at Sugarcube Corner! And before you ask, it’s a bakery and a great place to get a treat. I’m certain she’s made a cupcake for you.”
Konrad smiled but not without reason. Like anybody who watched the show, he knew damn well Pinkie Pie would throw him a surprise party. And he couldn’t wait for it.
”Seriously?! A freaking party thrown by Pinkie Pie? If anyone has earned it, it’s me. And I get lunch with Princess Luna! Looks like life is getting better by the minute.”
“Awesome! Sounds awesome all around. Lead the way to the park, and we can take more photos and videos.”
Apple Bloom, Twilight Sparkle, and Shining Armor were excited as the four of them walked toward the park. Konrad was happy and relaxed about having two planned events ahead of him. Unknown to all four, a single cloud carefully floated and followed them in the sky.
