> An Equestrian Princess in New York
>  by Tallinu
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 1: A Trip to Uncanny Valley
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	1: A Trip to Uncanny Valley

The main thing you’ve got to understand is this: It wasn’t like she had just popped straight out of the cartoon, exactly as drawn. I would’ve been even more incredulous if she  had. The style they’d used for Celestia was a lot closer to what I was looking at. I’m sure even she would have looked quite different ‘in the flesh’, if it had been her instead, but this…!
This bordered on uncanny valley territory — where something looks almost right, but not quite. Where cute turns into creepy. That line varies somewhat for different people. For example, some are freaked out by anime eyes or certain kinds of dolls, while others can’t get enough of them.
Someone who had never spent a lot of time around horses or didn’t understand how they were put together might not have noticed all the differences I did. Hell, I probably couldn’t catalog all of them myself, despite the couple of years I’d spent working part time at a stable after high school. I’m not even talking about the existence of her horn and wings, either, although the latter were certainly much more complex in real life. To begin with, they had a visible, realistic structure, bone and muscle and skin and individual feathers, which the cartoon completely glossed over. Her legs were the same way. Well-defined muscles, joints, and hooves rather than simplified, featureless, tubular appendages.
But a lot of those muscles and joints were wrong. At least for any equine native to Earth. Sure, they looked similar enough at first glance, and from what I’d seen they could undoubtedly do everything a real horse or pony could do, but I had a feeling they’d have a lot greater range of motion. How much greater remained to be seen.
Her head was nothing like the huge round skull with a tiny muzzle in the cartoon, but comparing it to a real pony’s, it did tend vaguely in that direction. There was clearly room for a larger brain under her horn, making her mouth seem smaller, daintier, by contrast. That mouth looked fairly normal, but the way it moved while she spoke told of differences that couldn’t be easily seen. And no, she doesn’t sound just like the voice actor from the cartoon. There was some similarity, but it was hard to imagine her voice coming from a human at all.
Then there were her eyes. They weren’t the cartoon’s giant painted-on circles, of course, but they were larger than any equine’s I’d ever seen, and set in larger, unusually shaped sockets. It was obvious she had binocular vision, as she was using it to peer at the strange creatures surrounding her — but sometimes she would turn her eyes out to both sides, like our own equines, taking in her entire surroundings at once.
Like I said: Creepy.
Maybe I should back up. The best place to start a story really is at the beginning.


*****


My name is Casey Miller. I live in a comfortable but somewhat pricey one bedroom apartment in New York City, not far from Times Square. I liked the location, and it wasn’t like I had much else to spend my money on. I moved here a few years back to take a job as a technical writer for a PC magazine. Not a life where you saw a lot of excitement. That changed suddenly one day in early June.
I was walking down the streets of the Big Apple, on my way home from the office, minding my own business. Suddenly, over the usual hustle and bustle of the city, I heard a scream. And then a few more, and some confused shouting. The commotion was coming from just around the corner I was approaching, and I took a cautious peek, wondering if someone was hurt and hoping it didn’t involve violence. A brown belt in karate was useful, but knives and guns could kill you all the same. I hadn’t heard any shots, but that didn’t mean somebody wasn’t getting mugged or assaulted.
The reason for people’s alarm was not immediately obvious, but the crowd was parting, a space opening up around the source. I caught fleeting, confused glimpses of lavender, and at first I thought it was someone in a weird costume. Then I thought someone had dyed a horse as a joke. They’d even done the mane and tail patterns to match a certain cartoon character. Then I saw the wings, the horn, and the small tiara with the six-pointed gem, sparkling as its wearer moved. I barely even noticed the saddlebags tucked under the wings, I was too focused on the amazing detail work in the ‘cutie mark’.
“Mom! It’s Twilight Sparkle!” some girl near me cried out, and slipped from her parent’s grasp to rush forward.
I’ll give her this much, Twilight held her ground, unperturbed. I think she even tried to make herself look non-threatening, and let the wide-eyed girl run her hands over her nose and her side without complaint. But Mom wasn’t having any of it, and ran up to yank her child away.
The strange near-equine said something — yes, it was definitely speaking — in what seemed like a reassuring tone, but it was too quiet for me to understand at a distance over the chatter and the usual noise of the city. After a moment she cleared her throat and drew herself up, poised proudly like she was making an announcement. This time her voice was loud and clear, but I quickly realized that it didn’t matter one bit.
She was definitely not speaking English, and I had a feeling the language wasn’t something you’d find anywhere on Earth.
“Wow, is that some kind of robot?” a younger guy to my right asked his buddy. “Something from Japan? You know how complex the stuff they’re turning out now is.” He stepped forward, peering at the pony like he was trying to find seams in the hide.
His buddy followed slowly. “Nah, that didn’t sound like Japanese. Gotta be a movie prop, animatronics and stuff. There’s somebody controlling it remotely. Don’t bother, you’ll never find any sign of it. Special effects now-days, they can make anything look real! Probably a publicity stunt.”
Their approach was like a signal. More people came forward, mostly alone, some in twos or threes, closing in around the strange pony. She spoke again, briefly this time, and I heard other people commenting about the strange language. A lot of people stayed back, and some of those who approached kept their hands to themselves, but many weren’t so polite. Someone grabbed her tail and was examining the different colors in it, until she whipped it out of his hands. Others were reaching out, just trying to touch her or run their hands over her like the girl had. Mr. Robot Theory was messing with her wing’s feathers. The mare shook the wing, shying away from him and bumping into people on her other side as she turned her head to voice an obvious complaint in his direction.
I had been dubious as to whether or not this was really Twilight Sparkle, assuming ‘real’ had any meaning in this situation, but I’d also come to the conclusion that it didn’t matter. Whoever or whatever she was, too many of the people on the sidewalk saw her as a spectacle, a toy, a puzzle to explore, and not as a living creature with feelings. The signs were obvious to me, with my experience around horses, but there seemed to be enough ‘human’ in her mannerisms that I had trouble believing nobody else could see them.
Twilight had gone from confident to nervous in seconds as the crowd pressed in around her, and I was afraid that if this kept up someone would get hurt. I shouted and started trying to drag people away from her, but my voice was lost in the babble.
Then I saw someone grab the small tiara and try to take it off her head. She shouted an objection and the hand was forcibly removed, apparently by a shimmering purple aura just like the one her horn was emitting. She shouted again, a few more words (or at least syllables), and when nothing changed, that horn lit up like a purple light bulb and everyone close to her was pushed steadily away. It was gentle at first, but it looked like anyone who resisted experienced an increasing amount of force. A few people, more stubborn about retreating, finally stumbled or fell back instead.
As soon as the area was clear, a purple dome formed around the pony, just visible enough that you could easily tell it was there but could still clearly see through it. Then, as her horn’s bright aura winked out, the irritated alicorn began berating the onlookers — at great length and high volume. It still sounded like gibberish, but her intent was clear as she circled inside her small sanctuary, turning a frustrated frown on each of those who’d been poking and prodding at her.
I looked around and realized at least half the people who’d been standing back had pulled out smartphones or cameras and were busily recording everything. Seeing that reminded me of something. I wasn’t sure if it was unimportant or if it was the most vital detail of all. I pulled out my own phone and hastily queued up an episode of a certain cartoon series, one I’d watched on my phone a while back and hadn’t yet removed.
Most of the crowd were now leaving a half dozen feet or so of space around the perimeter of her dome, which effectively blocked most of the sidewalk. The pony was looking away from me as I pushed through the crowd, and still lecturing, although she kept glancing past the parked cars along the sidewalk to where traffic was whizzing by. The light had been red when she appeared, and this must have been the first chance she’d had to get a relatively clear view of moving vehicles. I reached out hesitantly and touched the dome, pulling my finger away quickly just in case, but I was unharmed. It felt a bit like soft plastic, with no noticeable temperature. So I knocked on it. Thud, thud, thud.
The dome’s occupant glanced in my direction, interrupting herself to say a few words to me. Then she did a double take and turned to my side of the dome. Her eyes locked onto the phone I was holding up to her, playing the intro of the cartoon. Suddenly it felt like my phone was slipping out of my grasp. I instinctively tried to catch it before it could fall, but instead it just hung in the air, shimmering and making me look stupid with my hands cupped under it. And then my phone disappeared in a puff of purple ‘smoke’ that faded into nothingness. A similar puff simultaneously occurred inside the shield, drawing my attention. My phone hovered in front of her, and she watched intently, her eyes widening. I wasn’t sure if it was because she’d never seen a device like this, or if it was the particular images on the screen.
She muttered something, and as I heard the last words of the music, she spun the phone around to show the ’photograph’ fading from the screen. She asked me a very deliberate question, to which I could only shrug.
“I’m sorry, but none of us can understand you.”
She apparently got the idea well enough, judging by the frustrated expression and growl. Her horn flashed brightly, and I became very disoriented for a moment. I stumbled and had to lean against the dome to catch my balance. It seemed like I’d gotten turned around somehow. Then I realized that the dome was curved the wrong way. I was no longer outside it. That meant...
Yes, I was trapped in a small space with a frustrated and very powerful winged unicorn princess from an entirely different world whom I had just shown a cartoonish depiction of herself and presumably her best friends, and I couldn’t even explain that nobody, so far as I knew, had actually been spying on their lives. I was so screwed.
> 2: Locked in Here with Me
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	2: Locked in Here with Me

Twilight did not murder me. I wouldn’t have blamed her, not really, but she just isn’t that kind of person. Pony. Whatever. Still, what she did scared the crap out of me at first. It still gives me a shiver if I think too much about the circumstances.
The purple pony princess sat in front of me and reached up to pull gently on my wrist with her hoof. Before I forget, there are two things I have to say about that statement. First, that bone and muscle structure I mentioned. Definitely not like our equines. And no, her horn wasn’t glowing. Her hooves could apparently latch onto things as if they were electromagnets and everything was ferrous. That explained a lot about the show, if you thought about it, assuming all pony types could do it.
She pulled until I was forced down on one knee, which put us approximately eye to eye. She said a few words in a tone that told me she was trying to reassure me. The fact that her horn started glowing brightly, and was looming ever closer, really spoiled the intended effect. All I could think of was that scene in that movie where the boss bug sucks the brains out of that dude. And while I didn’t really believe I’d share his fate, I was dead certain that this alien alicorn wanted answers badly enough that she’d dig through my mind in unpleasant, maybe painful ways to get them.
I tried to pull away, but I couldn’t move a muscle. She’d completely paralyzed me somehow. Then her horn tapped my forehead. A strange tingle washed over me, and there was a buzzing sensation in my head. Moments later, I discovered I could move again by startling even myself with a scream, one I’d apparently been trying to let out the whole time.
“Calm down, you big baby! I told you it wouldn’t hurt a bit.”
I lurched backward, bumping my head on the dome. Fortunately it yielded just enough to avoid any damage, but it still hurt. The pain made me realize she was right. Whatever she’d done hadn’t even been uncomfortable, but it was still incredibly disturbing. “I just got mind-raped by a cartoon character! Tell me why I should not be freaking out right now!”
“Oh, hell no!” she shot back, wide-eyed shock transforming into barely restrained anger. “I’m not some… monster! Don’t you dare accuse me of such violation.” She punctuated that sentence with a disgusted snort.
Cowed, I rubbed the back of my head and tried to make myself look small, with limited success. “Then how do you know English all of a sudden!? And why couldn’t I move?”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t! I can’t speak or understand your language. That’s why I had to use a translation spell! And I could hardly risk letting you hurt yourself, or me, before I had a way to explain anything.”
“Holy shit.” Mind. Blown.
Some kind of Universal Translator? How was that even possible? My head was spinning as I struggled to find an explanation I could accept, and I was barely paying attention as she continued speaking.
“I’d love to learn it, of course, as soon as I have the time, but first I have much more important matters to attend to, and it looks like I’ll need help… Hello? Are you okay?” She started poking at me with her hoof. “Hmm, there shouldn’t be any strange side-effects. I wonder if this one has some kind of health condition?”
There wasn’t a lot of room in the dome, and the pony took up a fair amount of it. That meant that she was uncomfortably close as she peered around me, looking for head injuries and trying to figure out why I wasn’t answering her. I shook off my daze and figured I’d better do so before she started examining me with more than her eyes and a hoof.
“I’m fine! Just dandy. Magical pony princesses appear on the streets of New York every day. Nothing unusual at all, no reason to panic.”
“Okay, enough with the sarcasm,” she replied with a grimace. “I’m sorry, can we just start over now? My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m —”
“It really is?” I interrupted, surprised. “That’s not just something silly they made up for the show?”
“Um, what? Silly? Yes, that’s really my name. Is there something wrong with it?”
Great, now I’d made her defensive. “No, no! Sorry, that’s not what I meant. It’s just that there’s obviously a lot of differences between fiction and reality, assuming this is real, and… Look, this is not a good place to have this discussion. Everyone’s watching, recording us, someone’s probably called the police, you need to get somewhere safe and —”
“Authorities? That’s excellent! I can tell them why I’m here and go straight to the people in charge... I’ll be home in time for supper!”
“No! No no no! That is a very bad idea. You try to do that translation spell on the cops and they’ll probably shoot you!”
“What? Why would anyone want to hurt me?”
I gave her an incredulous stare. “You do remember how I reacted, don’t you? And I was trying to communicate!”
She paled and considered what I’d said. “Are you people all so easily frightened?”
“What, you mean by things that don’t really exist, can’t possibly exist, in our world? Things we have no understanding of whatsoever? Damn right we are! Look, Princess, a crowded public street like this really is no place to be having this conversation.”
She gave a long-suffering sigh. “Please, just call me Twilight. What about you?”
“What? Oh, right. Name’s Casey Miller.”
“Alright, Casey Miller, where would you recommend we go?”
“Ugh, just Casey, it’s weird if you say the whole thing like that…”
“Fine. Casey. But you haven’t answered my question.”
“I’m thinking! Sorry. I never…”
The sound of sirens caught my attention, and I cursed under my breath. I looked around but couldn’t see the flashing lights yet.
“We have to move. Anywhere! Can you teleport us?”
“I... Yes, I... But…” A bit rattled by my urgency, she looked around, into and through the crowd, and then nodded decisively. “Get in close!” She pulled me toward her with a foreleg as if to hug me, and spread her wings. I tucked an arm over her neck. Her horn flashed, and I squeezed my eyes shut. There was the same disorientation I’d felt before. That explained how I’d gotten inside the shield. Then I screamed. The pavement was gone. There was no floor, no ground. And we were falling!
“It’s okay, just hold on!”
I clung to her warm neck and looked down. The city was spread out below us, skyscrapers rising up all around. But the ground wasn’t rushing up to meet us. We weren’t falling anymore. Her wings flapped unhurriedly, and she had one foreleg under my thighs and the other around my waist, supporting most of my weight. I still clung to her neck, but managed to relax my death-grip slightly as I caught my breath.
“There, see? Nothing to worry about! Now, where should we go?”
“Well... My apartment probably has enough room. I could show you a map, let me... Shit! My phone!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I forgot it! Those things aren’t cheap, and someone could run up my bills, or the police could find out who it belongs to and —”
“Relax! I have it right here.”
She looked back with one eye (the other wandered a little, still pointing in the general direction we were facing... did I mention creepy?) and her saddlebag opened itself, my phone floating out of it.
“Oh, thank you so much!” I grabbed for it, but couldn’t get a good grip at first. When the glow vanished, I nearly dropped it. Using it with one hand was awkward, as always, but I wasn’t about to let go of her neck no matter how securely she might be holding me. I was hundreds of feet in the air, if not more! Thinking about it, there should be wind whipping past us even if we were just hovering in place, and we definitely weren’t hovering. But all I could feel was a gentle breeze. I made a mental note to ask later. Wings that size simply couldn’t support her on their own, much less me as well, without something else going on. I’m just glad I’m not agoraphobic.
The video player had paused when the phone was put in standby... someone, or somepony, must have pushed the button, or it would have just kept playing. I didn’t remember that happening, but it didn’t matter. I switched from that to the GPS software I used and poked the ’go home’ icon. I knew where the major landmarks were, of course, but I’d never tried to spot my apartment from the air before.
“Okay, turn left... it should be... that way. Right about there.”
“Got it. That looks like a very useful gadget.”
“Yeah, they’re great... Look, Twilight, there are probably still eyes on us. And cameras. We’re not exactly hidden up here. I don’t suppose you can make us completely invisible?”
“That’s... not something I have much experience with. Being invisible generally isn’t as useful as it sounds. Why is hiding so important?”
“Because if they know where we’ve gone, we’ll have people knocking on my door, or breaking it down, in no time. It’s still possible they’ll track me down. There were certainly enough people taking video back there, and someone might recognize me. But we’ll have a lot more time to work with if we can get there unobserved.”
She nodded. “Okay, how about an illusion? Something nobody would look twice at. Any ideas?”
“Sure, but would it fool cameras? Or is it just some kind of Jedi mind trick?”
“If your cameras work the same way ours do, it should, as long as they aren’t equipped with True Sight, magic-detection filters, and the like.”
“Hah, I doubt it! Okay, how about a flock of pigeons? Wait! If someone sees us suddenly change like that…”
“Right! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
Moments later we were surrounded in a large purple sphere, which quickly became completely opaque, only its faint glow and that of the unicorn’s horn (and my phone) illuminating the space inside. She was still flapping, lazily, but her eyes were now closed in concentration. Her horn flared, and after another brief, mild disorientation (perhaps I was getting used to it?) we were back in open sky. I looked around and spotted the sphere a few hundred feet away and above us. An instant later it burst into a cloud of smoke which began to dissipate in the wind.
“Think that was enough of a distraction?” she asked, grinning.
“Yeah, that should do the job. I don’t see any pigeons, though…”
“You won’t, we’re inside it. It’s only visible from the outside. Wouldn’t be able to hide us otherwise. A flock was a great idea, it’ll disguise any distortions of the background needed to keep us from showing through between the birds. And I had them converge on the location from a roof below us before we teleported.”
“Cool. Good thinking. Alright, if we land on the roof of my building, we should be able to get in through the stairwell, unless you can teleport into places you haven’t been before…”
“That’s probably not a good idea in this case, although it’s not really that dangerous with me. You can miss your target and end up in the wrong place, so we could pop up in someone else’s home… Line of sight is best, although very familiar locations or special beacons also work quite well.”
I nodded and referred to my phone again, then looked below us. “There, we’re close... That one.”
I could only imagine what the whole flock of pigeons landing on that roof would have looked like to an observer. To me, it was the second most frightening moment of the flight, and as the surface swept up to meet us, I turned away and hid my face against Twilight’s neck. I will neither confirm nor deny any whimpering.
There was a thump, and Twilight was no longer holding me up. At least not with her forelegs. Only my death grip on my phone kept it from falling as I clutched at her, but suddenly my heels were kicking at the roof.
“Careful! Don’t hurt yourself. We’re down now, you can let go of me.” She chuckled and I blushed, getting my feet under me and standing up shakily.
“Whew... Sorry. Next time I’m riding on your back!”
“Next time?” She raised an eyebrow at me, and I blushed even more.
“Uh, that is, if you ever, I don’t mean to presume, I’m sorry!”
She laughed. “Relax, I was just teasing. I know what you meant.”
I sighed heavily and pocketed my phone so I could rub my temples. “Alright. Let’s get out of sight…”

> 3: The Pigeons Come Home to Roost
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	3: The Pigeons Come Home to Roost

The roof access was locked of course, but my keycard opened it. The stairwell was steeper than Twilight would have liked, and tricky for her to navigate, but we made it down to my floor without incident.
“Okay, let me make sure there’s nobody in the halls... Be right back.”
I peeked out cautiously and slipped through the door, letting it close behind me. I went to the intersection where the elevator was located, checked that nobody was waiting or about to come out, and turned to go fetch Twilight, only to find her watching me through the stairwell door. I grimaced and rolled my eyes, then beckoned to her, moving past the elevator to my door. Number 715, home sweet home. The sound of hooves was at least dampened by the carpeting in the hall, and I doubted anyone on the next floor down would think there was actually a pony walking around up here, but I was still nervous.
The lock clicked and I pocketed my card as I pushed the door open. Twilight tucked her wings in tight, but there was plenty of clearance. I was still amazed by how large she actually was, and wondered if she always had been or if it had something to do with becoming a princess. Of course, that was assuming anything I’d seen in the show was remotely accurate, and I was beginning to wonder about that.
I shut the door and locked it, then turned to give the Princess the dollar tour. She had passed the kitchen, on our left, and was looking around my living room curiously. She ran her hoof along my genuine leather sofa on the right, against the wall shared with the bedroom. I winced, hoping I wouldn’t have to explain the material.
“Welcome to my humble abode. Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom…” I pointed down the short hall to my right. “I’m not sure if you’d be able to use it, honestly... but we can probably figure something out, same goes for food. I, uh... I hope this doesn’t bother you, but I’m just going to come right out and say it. Humans are omnivores... So some of the things in the fridge have meat in them.”
“I thought you might be. Your front teeth,” she explained, when she saw my dumbfounded expression. Then she tapped on the couch. “The processed animal hide was another clue, of course. There are so many materials I don’t recognize, just in this room. But even this couch, the quality is amazing. You didn’t tell me you were wealthy, Casey!”
“Hah! I’m hardly rich, I have to work every day just like most people. And we didn’t really have much time to get to know each other back there. The whole ’dead animals’ thing doesn’t bother you?”
“It’s nothing new. Griffins are predators, after all. So are dragons, mostly, and even we are technically omnivores, despite our teeth. We typically stick to milk and eggs, but smoked jerky makes a good portable supplement for travel rations, and... Are you alright?”
I was probably making a very strange face as I tried not to picture a pony ordering up a juicy steak, and I nodded. “Yeah, fine. That’s just not what I expected to hear.”
“Well, it does make more economic sense to eat a vegetarian diet than to use many times the calories raising an animal only to eat that instead. Not to mention avoiding the moral questions involved in that kind of farming... But that’s not why we’re here, is it.”
“If only.” I flopped into the recliner next to the back window, with the couch on the wall to my left. I gestured to it. “Make yourself comfortable, as long as you’re careful with the hooves... You don’t look too much heavier than me, and it’s fairly sturdy.”
“Thanks, I will. But you shouldn’t joke about a woman’s weight.” Her grin let me know she was kidding again, but I still blushed as she scooted onto the couch facing me and folded her legs.
“Don’t you mean a mare’s?” I wondered aloud.
“Hmm, the translation spell can be a little quirky... I assume you aren’t trying to call me an animal?”
“No! Not an animal, no - but you sure aren’t human. You bear a very strong resemblance to our horses and ponies, but you’re clearly an intelligent person.” I scratched my head, frowning thoughtfully. “Speaking of that spell, though... How does that work?”
Her eyes lit up (figuratively) and she took a deep breath - and then she paused, mouth half-open, and let out a huff. “Nutshell version, right?”
I chuckled and nodded. “If you don’t mind. I’m sure I wouldn’t understand the long and technical version, even if I had the first clue how magic worked.”
She gazed at me thoughtfully for a couple seconds and then nodded. “Basically, it forms a persistent conduit linking two minds, takes the concepts one is trying to convey through speech and sends them to the other, matching them to the best equivalents... It can reconstruct concepts into compound forms if needed, but it works best when both parties have the words needed to explain the concepts in question.”
“What’s the range? If I was on the other side of the planet, but called you up on my phone so we could hear each other’s voices, would it still work?”
She thought for a moment and then nodded. “I believe so. It’s a point to point mental link, it shouldn’t be affected by distance.”
I grinned as I pondered the implications, and arched an eyebrow at her. So do I even have to speak out loud?
“No, technically — Oh!” She grinned back and chuckled. “Very impressive! Most people I know can’t do that without practice.”
“Interesting. So it’s effectively a long range telepathy spell with training wheels, mostly bypassing language.”
“That’s... an excellent summary, yes.”
“And it doesn’t help you understand anyone you haven’t cast it on, does it.”
“Nnnope.” She winced slightly.
“So if you wanted to talk to a lot of people at once, you’d need someone to translate for you, huh.”
“Eeeyup.” The wince was more noticeable this time.
That led to an awkward pause. I’d effectively elected myself to that position without even realizing it. I think she knew I’d just realized that, and was waiting for me to demand that she find someone else at earliest opportunity. But there was no way in hell I was going to abandon her, even if she would accept such a decision gracefully. That didn’t mean I liked the idea any better, but there was no need to make hasty decisions about the future.
“So, can I get you anything to drink?”
“Yes, please,” she replied, a little too quickly to disguise her relief at the change of subject.
I hopped up and headed back to the kitchen, looking over the counter as I went to the fridge. “Water, milk, fruit punch, soda, actually I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Can you burp? Our horses can’t burp...”
“Um, yes? Why do you ask?”
“Because the soda is carbonated, it has a lot of gas dissolved in it and it bubbles out when you drink it.”
“Sounds disgusting. May I?” So apparently ponies have a word that means both ‘disgust’ and ‘fascination’ because I’m pretty sure that’s what she used.
I looked at her and blinked a couple times. “Ooookay then. One Sprite coming up.” I grabbed one for myself as well, and thought better of tossing the can to her. I wasn’t sure if she’d catch it without shaking it up, and I didn’t want it to fountain all over her, as hilarious as that mental image was.
I heard a loud snort and turned to see her trying not to laugh. “What did I say?”
“Sorry! You’re... heheh! You really are very good at that. Would it actually make that much of a mess?”
“Yeah. Well, maybe. And I didn’t mean to share that. Are you sure this thing isn’t sending you every damn thing I think about?”
“Pretty sure, yeah.” She either ignored my suspicious tone or didn’t notice it. “If it was, I’d have trouble thinking clearly, myself. Not to mention it would be unethical to do that on purpose, like I said earlier. It’s possible it’s more sensitive than it should be in your case. I can try raising the threshold slightly, if you’re concerned.”
Okay, she wasn’t ignoring it, she was just handling it in a calm and professional manner. I could work with that. Besides, if you couldn’t trust Princess Twilight Freaking Sparkle, who could you trust? She didn’t seem like an alternate ’dark mirror’ Twilight, like in some of the nastier fanfics out there, and as far as I could tell she’d been straight with me so far. “Hmm. Maybe later, if it gets... bothersome. And I’m… sorry about overreacting earlier. Here.” I handed her the cold soda, and she inspected the can curiously, holding it with a hoof. I reminded myself once more to ask about that.
“I probably could’ve handled that whole situation better, too. So this piece here…?”
“Yeah, like this.” I set mine on the coffee table and showed her how to open it, then watched as she did the same with her magic.
“Interesting.” She listened to the hiss of popping bubbles for a few seconds, then sipped from the can, copying me. Her eyes bugged out and I think she nearly spat it all over the table.
“Careful, don’t drink it too fast at first. And inhaling a lot of the gas at once is a little unpleasant, but harmless.”
“Feels like it’s biting me! But it’s so sweet.”
“Yeah. Swish it around a bit and it’s more of a tickle. Should I get you some water instead?”
“No, it’s fine. Let’s talk.”
She sipped again, and I settled back into the chair, nodding.
“Yeah. So, maybe the most important thing is why you’re here. Was there an accident? Is someone else stuck here? Some artifact from your world ended up here?”
She stared at me in confusion. “No, none of us are stranded anywhere, and I don’t know of anyone or anything arriving here except for myself, via the portal I set up. Those seemed like oddly specific questions, though. And then there’s what you showed me just after I arrived. I got the impression you had some kind of foreknowledge… Is there something from our world that you do know about?”
“In a manner of speaking. I guess I should start with that instead. Then you can fill me in on anything that’s incorrect or missing.”
And so it was that I told Twilight Sparkle the story of the creation of Twilight Sparkle.
You know what I mean. Get your minds out of the gutter. Toy company. Talented writer. Family entertainment. Cast of characters. The story so far, or at least a summary thereof. I used the big flatscreen opposite the couch to play brief clips from relevant episodes. Yes, I had the whole series recorded, along with things like Dr. Who and Battlestar Galactica, but I had yet to run out of disk space. And no, I am not the kind of raging fanatic ‘brony’ who wears pony-themed clothes and talks about them all the time. I just liked the stories, especially the fan-made stories. The whole thing clearly fascinated her.
Speaking of which, Twilight burping is adorable. She’s so polite about it, too, covering her muzzle and apologizing for the interruption (until I finally convinced her that wasn’t necessary with me).
> 4: And That's How Equestria Was Made (Revised Oct 1, 2014)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	4: And That's How Equestria Was Made

My guest was mostly quiet throughout the story, as if listening to a lecture and taking mental notes. I suppose she’d be good at that, unless we’d gotten a whole lot of things wrong about her.
Finally I was done, and Princess Twilight Sparkle, sprawled cozily on the leather sofa in my living room (still couldn’t quite get over that), shook her head in wonder. “So many things wrong with all that, and yet, so much of it is a close match. Astonishing.”
I sat back and drained the last of my soda. “I’m not surprised there are inaccuracies... It was a children’s show. Some of the fanfiction has been pretty deep or adult-oriented, though. But I think now you can maybe understand why I’m so amazed to have you lounging in my living room.”
“Oh, yes. It’s as if Daring Do suddenly popped out of a book and needed help saving the world!” She laughed, and I grinned at her. I hadn’t mentioned the episode where that basically happened, and I pictured some scenes from it. I’d been taking more and more advantage of that aspect of her telepathic translation spell as I told the story... As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. The recordings were better quality, but my own memories were much faster to access.
“Wait, seriously? And Dash helps her do it?” It was her turn to have her mind boggled, and mine to laugh.
“Well, it is all just fiction, right?” I grinned and winked at her.
“We would never hear the end of it,” she groaned, then chuckled wryly. “Okay, here’s the score as I see it. Based on the limited information available, of course. Characterization... around eight out of ten. Setting… four or five. Historical accuracy... maybe a two, if I’m generous.”
“The Elements of Harmony as a mystical super-weapon? No. More of a parable on the virtues that underlie good relationships and the value of working together. Nightmare Moon is a sort of alter-ego that Princess Luna brings out on Nightmare Night… mostly. She once became pretty upset with what seemed like her ’lesser’ station, among other things, but she and Princess Celestia worked it out after a while. That’s a vast simplification, of course. And actually, that’s when Nightmare Night got started. It was Princess Luna’s idea in the aftermath of that reconciliation, and they set it up together. The Summer Sun Celebration is also real enough. But the whole ’moving the sun and moon’ thing is somewhere between a joke about pompous unicorns who think they can control everything and a reference to how much people look up to the Diarchy. Our planet turns and orbits much like yours, and the Mare in the Moon is just a pattern of dark craters.”
“Discord? Very old legend, a god responsible for conflict and the unpredictable nature of the world, usually when people want something to blame. There’s a famous statue in Canterlot, it looks exactly like that, but referring to the time before the Princesses took the throne as ‘Discord’s reign’ is figurative, not literal.”
“Changelings? Real, but nothing like that. Some are nice. Some aren’t. And some are the worst pranksters ever, with their shape-shifting. But they aren’t naturally bug-like. No emotion-stealing. No invasion.”
“My brother’s wedding was wonderful, and although I didn’t find out about their engagement right away, since both of us are often very busy, I did know they were together. Princess Cadenza’s magic can’t create love where none exists, or change its type, only inspire, encourage, and remind us of it. The Crystal City never vanished, although contact was often limited by the harsh weather. Long ago it was indeed ruled by a unicorn tyrant-king, but he was eventually deposed by Cadenza’s ancestors. She lived much of her teenage years in Canterlot as part of an exchange, reaffirming the empire’s loyalty to the Diarchy and taking advantage of our wonderful universities. She returned there with Shining Armor to take over when her father’s age finally made him too easily exhausted by the demands of the throne, though he’s still alive and kicking.”
“As for my wings, I was born with them, just like the others. I spent a lot of my life with them hidden by an enchantment so I wouldn’t be as much of a target... And so I could have a more normal childhood. There was a bit of local unrest during the years around my birth, and we simply never abandoned the arrangement. But after my coronation, there was no longer any point in hiding, and by that time I was strong and skilled enough that I had nothing to fear. My best friends had already known the truth for many years.”
I took advantage of a brief pause to put in a related question. “What’s with all princesses being alicorns, winged unicorns, or whatever you want to call them?”
“Oh, that’s not really accurate. It’s just that most have been born to the noble families descended from Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, or their grandparents. Of course, after so many generations, those families have descendants all over Equestria by now, so it might be harder to find someone who’s entirely unrelated. Some combination of magic and genetic triggers makes us express the traits of all three phenotypes at once. It hasn’t ever occurred in males, so far as we know. The Sisters are the oldest, and they haven’t shown any signs of aging. Others have had normal lifespans, or somewhere in between, although there have been a few accidents… and non-accidents.”
She cleared a momentary glower from her features and went on. “People back then thought The Sisters were a ‘sign’ and pushed them to take power at a young age. Maybe some thought they could use them as puppet figureheads, but they turned into excellent leaders. Although there were some rocky periods, the centuries since then have been a true golden age.”
“You mentioned the three phenotypes… What sorts of abilities do they really have? How do they work? In layman’s terms, at least,” I added with a smile.
Twilight chuckled, clearly pleased to expound on the subject despite my caveat. “Well, A unicorn’s horn acts as a concentrator and focus for our magic, and we can consciously direct it to perform our will at a distance with far more finesse than would otherwise be possible. A thorough list of known capabilities requires a small volume of its own, but by far the most common use, and one that all unicorns are capable of to some degree, is levitation and manipulation of objects. This involves projecting a field into the space occupied by an object and tuning it to interact with physical properties like inertia and momentum.”
“Pegasus flight requires magic fields that surround them to control inertia and air flow, and those fields can be adjusted to disperse or condense water vapor and other atmospheric components. Wings are generally used for stability and propulsion more than simply lift, except in distance-flying, and some pegasi can even hover or glide without using them. Contrary to certain misconceptions, their wings don’t have any particular significance to their flight fields, although their feathers do have certain magical properties, mostly related to strength, aerodynamics, and ice-resistance. Pegasi with exceptional field strength and control can manage pretty amazing feats, like the ‘sonic rainboom’ that Rainbow Dash is famous for. It’s partly a misnomer — she really can travel faster than the speed of sound, she just carries a pocket of much slower-moving air with her to do it. But the ‘rainboom’ actually happens when she slows down suddenly and channels all that energy into a shockwave, cramming it full of as much magic as she can.”
My eyes widened. “Amazing. Oh, and that explains why the wind was so gentle while we were flying, right?”
She gave me an encouraging nod. “That’s right, it’s not always a high-speed thing. I’m nowhere near Rainbow’s skill, of course, especially since I spent so many years grounded, but between instinct, books, and a great trainer like her, I’ve gotten well beyond the basics.”
“I think you vaguely mentioned weather manipulation, too…?”
“Ah, yes. Pegasi are exceptional at manipulating weather and clouds, and they can, under the right circumstances, trigger or direct lightning. Large enough groups can disperse or redirect storms, or even create them if there’s enough humidity. But even magic-infused clouds are still just water vapor, and can’t be used to build anything permanent. For example, Cloudsdale is actually a city upon a tall mountain, just above normal cloud level. It’s an old volcanic caldera, with a lake and some great hot springs. It’s possible for a pegasus to compress clouds or fog into a smaller space, which makes it easier to interact with and gives them more control over it. But it will dissipate over time, and quite rapidly if it’s abandoned. Most of them really can take a nap on one without it dissipating much, though. It’s an unconscious use of their abilities, probably a safety adaptation. And they are very comfortable!”
“Probably a lot softer than a waterbed, too!”
She cocked her head curiously. “A bed of water? How…”
I responded with a mental image. “It’s like a tough, flat balloon with a warming pad below and blankets on top. Unlike an air mattress, they aren’t pressurized, so they have a lot more give. Some people really like them.”
“Interesting. I wonder if that could work for unicorn and earth ponies. Speaking of which… Earth ponies are indeed excellent farmers, but also miners and craftsmen, with an intuitive sense for living things, soil, rock, materials, and how they can all be manipulated. They’re very good at drawing ambient magic from the land to nurture crops, or even to speed the formation of the gems and crystals we have so many uses for. ‘Rock farming’ is a mildly derisive term for the latter, although it’s generally acceptable if it isn’t meant as an insult. Pinkie Pie never calls it by its proper name, for instance, even though she was raised on one — but then again, Pinkie offering deliberate insult is practically inconceivable.”
Twilight chuckled and resumed her description. “Their magic typically bolsters their physical strength, endurance, healing, and even disease-resistance more noticeably than for the others. A common exception is resistance to cold, where pegasi often surpass them. High altitudes can be extremely cold.”
“Oh, and hoof-grip is another field effect, a localized one which we can all use. It’s a less refined, very short-range form of a unicorn’s telekinetic abilities.” She held up the soda can and caused it to rotate slowly around its vertical axis like a top, without moving her hoof at all. “It can be surprisingly dexterous, with enough practice. I’ve seen some people who could do unbelievable sleight-of-hoof tricks.”
“Earth ponies can sometimes extend that ability to other parts of their body, such as their mane, tail, or back, as well. Pinkie really has been known to carry random small objects in her poofy mane, and Applejack’s hat doesn’t fall off unless she wants it to. Her tail scrunchie isn’t just to help keep it clean, either. I’ve seen her open and close gates and swing a rope with it like it was practically another hoof, although she can’t support much weight with it.”
I was having my world rocked so hard, and it was amazing. There was one more thing I just had to know, however. “Okay, and what about ‘cutie marks’?” I gestured to the place on her thigh where the familiar six-pointed star was visible, when the wingtip didn’t obscure it. “Do they really just appear on their own when you discover your special talent?”
“That’s… actually a difficult question. Partly because even we don’t have a firm consensus on how it works. They certainly appear spontaneously through magical means, and not some deliberate act of artistic decoration. And they do tend to have some symbolic connection to one’s talents, goals, actions, or personality. What you may not be aware of is that they sometimes change. And on rare occasions, change dramatically. There are also plenty of people who never receive one, even some with wonderful skills or love for their work. And the ages at which they do appear tend to follow something like a bell curve, but with a bias toward youth.”
“What if you figure in those who don’t receive one?” I suggested. “Would their numbers account for the bias, fill out the curve, if you assumed they got one at some point in the future, or might have if they’d lived longer?”
Twilight grinned. “That’s a popular theory, but it’s not enough to make the data fit with any reasonable assumptions. It’s equally possible that more marks would increase the bias instead. It’s hard to say, without knowing what causes them. Whether it’s your own nature or expectations that give it form, something innate in how we interact with our magic, or some external force that acts upon us, it’s been happening for all of recorded history. All we really have is a description of the phenomenon and a few rare cases where it was caught in action. It’s very hard to study a process that occurs unpredictably and, on average, less than once per individual!”
“Fascinating. And frustrating, I imagine.” I was a little disappointed with that information, and it was clear Twilight shared my sentiments. “Is it just ponies?”
“Yes. Zebras have a widespread tradition of wearing markings, mostly in the same place, and mostly representing a clan affiliation, but that’s just dye and bleach. Most experts believe it got started through their interactions with pony explorers and traders, and spread throughout their culture, developing in various ways across time and distance.”
I took a minute to review the conversation thus far in my head as we both drank from our dwindling cans. “So, for the most part, the show is a lot of fanciful stories based on some sort of visions of characters and scenes?”
“That could be. Our worlds have been converging for decades, and it’s possible some of our magic seeping through carried information with it. As we approach, more might make it across the veil.”
Converging? “Does that have anything to do with why you’re here?”
“In fact, it’s exactly why I’m here. We’ve determined that the risk of attempting a crossing had finally become negligible, and I’m the best there is at spatial manipulation... so I came to have a look and see what sort of threats — or opportunities — we might encounter in the near future.”
“That sounds like you’re expecting things to cross over... spontaneously? Perhaps in both directions?”
She nodded seriously. “It’s entirely possible. I’m not aware of any transference between our worlds in the recent past, like I said earlier. But in the future…”
“I wonder if that might explain things like the legends we have of magic and fantastic creatures, or even the Bermuda Triangle...” She gave me a curious look, and I shook my head. “Tales of boats or aircraft vanishing into thin air in a certain region, no wreckage ever found, even with modern equipment. Most rational people just blamed it on severe weather and unusual ocean currents, crackpots blamed everything from space aliens to time travel, but...”
She shrugged her wings. “Who knows? I don’t have an answer for you, except that it’s possible. And it will be increasingly likely, in coming years, for strange things to happen. Potentially including, but not limited to, unusual magical effects, spontaneous gateways, or localized environmental alterations. We’ve seen a number of events like this before, back through records thousands of years old. But we can’t stop these convergences, only predict them... and prepare for them.”
“So, when you came through your portal, did you have any idea what to expect on our side of it?”
“None. The spell was designed to make sure I’d land in a ‘safe’ place, one where I wouldn’t be in immediate danger from environmental conditions. Solid footing, breathable air, reasonable temperature, and so on… But I couldn’t predict what I’d find on the other side well enough to be more specific than that. Too many assumptions and failsafe conditions can simply prevent a portal from opening at all. You have no idea how thrilled I was when I found myself in the middle of such a grand city!”
“And then the inhabitants had to go and give you such a wonderful first impression of humanity,” I deadpanned.
She responded with a grin. “You’re doing a good job of making up for that. Thanks, Casey.”
“Hey, no problem. Never thought doing my bit for my world would involve interviewing extradimensional royalty, but hey, you live the life you’re given.”
“So. How should I go about it? Informing your world of what’s happening, that is... the good and the bad.”
“There’s a good part?”
“Well, of course! I’m here, aren’t I? And I did say ‘opportunities’. The next decade or two could be amazing for trade and scientific advancement! You’re an imaginative bunch, and you clearly have a higher level of mechanical technology than us. But from what you’ve told me, you have no access to magic... Just imagine what we could learn from each other!”
Cue mind blow number two.
> 5: When Opportunity Knocks Your House Down
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	5: When Opportunity Knocks Your House Down

“So you want to not only inform our world of the potential for anything from magical monsters to lost foals and misplaced terrain dropping into our laps unexpectedly for the foreseeable future, you also want to open up interdimensional trade of technology and magic, combine the research efforts of both worlds, and basically turn much of what we know about the cosmos on its head.” I had recovered from my latest shock, and summarized the cause of it to make sure I understood it clearly.
Twilight Sparkle nodded. “Isn’t it exciting?” She was still wearing that eager smile, and I groaned.
“Hooo, boy. Yeah, the government is not going to be happy about this. Heck, plenty of scientists won’t be, not to mention the average Joe.”
“Scientists? But this is the opportunity of a lifetime!”
“Yeah, and I bet it’s going to upset quite a few where you’re from, too. Or are you telling me you’ve never run into the sort who cares more for his own pet theories and ‘proving’ that the world works the way he thinks it should than for discovering actual truth, even if it means he’s wrong?”
The lavender princess grimaced as I went on.
“And the governments here, a lot of the bureaucrats and politicians are the same way. They have their agendas, they have the niches they’ve carved out for themselves, and they don’t want anything to upset the status quo. They’d rather you quietly disappear than shake things up, not that they’d admit it. Finding one who’d help you out would be like a needle in a haystack, unless we could get help from someone who knows the current politics. Maybe some reporters could get us that kind of info. Actually...”
I got up and went to the window, frowning at the city thoughtfully. “I’m thinking your best chance of not having your presence here covered up or passed off as a hoax might be to go straight to the press. Get as much publicity as possible, demonstrate what you can do, and convince as many people as you can that you’re for real. Then it’s just a question of getting them to trust you, to believe what you say... It might take a bit of a dog and pony show — er, no offense intended...”
Twilight laughed at the expression’s literal meaning, though. “None taken. I’m not unfamiliar with fancy ceremony, and while I don’t like showing off for no reason, I can make an exception for a good cause.”
“It might take a lot of effort from your side, to be honest. Demonstrations of goodwill, visits to your world… Getting some human camera crews documenting life in the ‘Real Equestria’ might be the best publicity you could ask for.”
“But whatever you do…” I turned to her and knelt down in front of the couch, taking a hoof in my hands. “Do not suggest changing humans into ponies, or anything else. Even if it would save lives. Even if it was reversible. If anyone asks if you will, or requests that you do, deny it. Possible or not.”
She was utterly baffled, but my forceful insistence had her speechless for a few seconds, and she finally nodded. “I hadn’t considered such a thing at all… But why? If it could be done, what would be the problem, whether someone was dying or just curious?”
I grimaced, not liking this necessity either. “There’s a fairly well-known story setting in fanfiction. Equestria gains access to Earth, and a xenophobic Celestia — I know, just listen.” I’d raised a hand to forestall the beginning of a protest. “Seeing humanity’s warlike, ‘disharmonious’ nature, she begins offering a miracle cure to the crippled, diseased, dying, and dissatisfied. It transforms them into healthy ponies in their prime, but those who take it are changed more than just physically. They begin to abandon their old lives and loved ones and flock to Equestria’s banner, doing all they can to convince others to ‘convert’. Eventually the altruistic mask comes off, and the Equestrians start converting humans by force. The converts are eventually used as cannon-fodder in what is effectively a war of annihilation.”
Twilight was horrified. “That’s… insane! Why would anyone contemplate something so terrible, even in fiction?”
“Perhaps because we’ve had… similar atrocities in reality.” I grimaced and cleared my throat. It was hard enough for parents to discuss the second world war with their children. I really was not looking forward to having a chat about the Holocaust with Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, and it would be hard enough even if I wasn’t choking on the words.


*****


I’m going to skip that conversation and its aftermath, because I’m really not comfortable talking about how I made Twilight Sparkle cry, nor do I wish to describe that event in any kind of detail. Suffice it to say that near the end, hugs were involved, and milk and cookies were brought out. (Chocolate chip and sugar cookies.) Well, I’ll also say that Wikipedia was a great help, even if I did have to read everything off my laptop’s screen so it would get translated for her.
We needed to get down to some serious planning, though. I was impressed by how quickly she set aside the emotional reaction to the previous topic once we agreed on that necessity. ‘Serious Twilight’ with a milk moustache and cookie crumbs is not a picture I’ll easily forget. I tried to hide my amusement, but she caught on and chuckled with me before licking her lips clean.
I was still thinking about how much she stood out and was trying to come up with a way to get us from place to place without attracting attention. My apartment wasn’t guaranteed to be safe, and the longer we waited before relocating, the worse the risk would be.
“So, would it be possible for you to use some kind of illusion to make yourself look human?”
“That could be problematic. I’d still be an alicorn. People would bump into parts of me, and I wouldn’t fit into smaller spaces the way you can. But I can do one better than that! I’ve used a number of temporary transformation spells before, and I should be able to adapt one of them to give me a human form. I’ll need to see a few good examples though, and it could take some time to work out the details…”
“Time is something we don’t have in great supply, unfortunately.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m not sure how I can speed it up though.”
“What about a combination of approaches? You don’t have to be a perfect match for a human if you cover up any differences with an illusion. And I’m guessing an illusion would be a lot easier to make changes to?”
“Oh, yes! That would work splendidly. You’re right, decent illusions are much easier to adjust on the fly, like I was doing with the birds.” She giggled for a few moments at her unintended pun. It was an endearing sight. Twilight wasn’t a fake at all. I mean, what she showed the world really seemed to be her true self, not some kind of mask. I just hoped that wouldn’t get her into trouble here.
“If I concentrate on achieving the correct proportions and ignore cosmetic details I should be able to adapt a spell much more quickly and then use a glamour to make me look like a regular human female… I’ll still need a few good images to work from, both with and without the clothing you’ve all been wearing, but I’d estimate it should take no more than an hour to… Why are you blushing like that?”
“Erm. Because the best source for good images of unclothed women is…” Yeah, you guessed it. It’s what ‘the internet is for’. Twilight laughed at the silly notions I explained to her, like ‘nudity taboos’ and movie ratings that ranked violence as more acceptable than ‘adult content’. She was a little disturbed, but relieved to know that children weren’t allowed to watch more violent content without a parent. I decided not to say anything about bad parents or clever kids.
I did manage to get over my embarrassment enough to help her use my laptop to find useful pictures. She needed a good look from quite a few angles, and fortunately she had a very professional, even clinical, attitude about it. Beachwear photos were quite helpful too, and easier on my sensibilities. I also looked up a range of clothing options, from casual outfits to formal gowns and business attire.
Once she was satisfied I left her pondering her spell in my bedroom, where I wouldn’t distract her, and took my phone to make a few calls. I had contacts related to my work for the magazine, and I hoped I could network my way to people who could help get us out of this mess. Twilight and I needed a place to stay, and whenever someone got around to figuring out who I was, any transactions I made, or had made, could give away our location. I needed to take out a fair amount of cash. I just hoped we wouldn’t have to hide for long.
I poked my head in, and watched the Princess concentrating on doing who knows what with her magic — nothing I could see, at least, but her horn was glowing and she was staring into space.
“Twilight?” I spoke softly, trying not to startle her.
“Hmmm…?” She didn’t stop what she was doing or look at me.
“I need to run a quick errand. I should be back in half an hour or so.”
“Okay.” At least she sounded like she’d understood me.
“When I get back I’ll let you know it’s me as soon as I’m in the door. If anyone else gets in, you might want to… I don’t know, if you have a way to disable someone or put them to sleep, that would be great.”
“Got it.” I turned away, leaving her to her work, but she called after me. “What’s the errand?”
“We’ll probably need money, and most of mine is in the bank. I’m going to get a lot of it out as cash so nobody can trace us when I pay for things. Oh, is there anything you need? I could stop at a grocery.”
“Big veggie sandwich?”
“Hmm. Well, if you can get that disguise working while I’m gone, I could take you out to eat. There’s a great sandwich place not far away. And you’re welcome to raid the fridge and the cupboards for snacks. I have some granola bars, at least, and the other drinks I mentioned. There’s yogurt, too.”
“Alright, I’ll do that, and see what you have in the way of nonperishables to bring along… I should be done with this soon, it’s turning out to be easier than I expected to reconfigure one of these spells.”
“That’s good news. Alright, see you soon.”
> 6: Twilightlicious
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	6: Twilightlicious

The ATM I tended to use for pocket money would have been closer than the bank I had to visit, but it wouldn’t have let me withdraw as much as I’d planned to. I was nervous the whole way, and had to restrain myself from looking over my shoulder every twenty feet. Suspicious behavior would not have helped me stay off the radar. Fortunately, my anxiety proved unnecessary. I made it home without anyone so much as looking at me funny.
As I rode the elevator up to the seventh floor, my phone rang. It was an unknown number, and I let it go to voicemail. But no sooner had it stopped than it started ringing again. I cursed and set it to ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode, sending all calls directly to voicemail except for my usual (very short) whitelist. There was no way I was going to talk directly to anyone who might be calling me right now unless I already knew them. There would be a time for that soon, I was sure, but not until Twilight and I were out of my apartment and somewhere sufficiently safe from unwanted company.
I opened my door and pocketed my keycard, calling out to my guest as I slipped inside. “I’m back! Don’t worry, it’s just me…” I didn’t want to get a taste of that paralysis spell again, or some kind of stun-blast. But what I got when I turned around after closing the door stunned me all the same.
Twilight walked out of the hall from the bedroom or bathroom, grinning smugly. I did a double take as she approached. I don’t recall her exact words, but I think she was asking my opinion and telling me something, and she turned in a circle so I could see everything.
She stood on two large hooves. She was still covered in a lavender coat. While her head was much more humanoid, rounder, with a flatter face and short muzzle, it was still very clearly equine. And while they were much smaller, she still had wings, barely visible behind her shoulders, and a slightly reduced horn as well. Her mane style had been adapted to human hair, but in the same colors, and her tail reached only mid-calf. But the rest of her…! Her arms and legs were toned and her body nearly as sculpted as some of the swimsuit models I’d shown her. She even had hands, with a full five digits and dark fingernails. But I’d be lying if I claimed any of those features were what my eyes finally came to rest upon, because she was still naked. And rather shapely.
I’ve never had a thing for furry art. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against it, but it just doesn’t do anything for me. I like my women to be normal human women. And I’d gravitated away from most shipping, although I had nothing against romantic elements in stories as long as they were more than just romance. I wasn’t attracted to cartoon ponies any more than I was to other non-humans. And even though I was quickly becoming accustomed to her, Twilight still displayed a number of behavioral quirks and physical attributes that just screamed ‘not human’.
But despite her obvious differences from a human woman, there was something about the way Twilight had changed herself… Something that had her appearance brushing against the fringes of that category, and she was quite unexpectedly pushing my libido’s buttons. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t just some drawing. She was alive, a warm body standing right in front of me, very real and very beautiful, even in a purely aesthetic sense. I was getting mixed signals, to be sure, but the ones leading to my pants were definitely present, and it confused me to no end. I really did not need that kind of confusion.
All of that reflection came later, of course. My initial reaction was to stare in dumbfounded shock, like I might if my pretty neighbor from down the hall had let herself into my apartment while I was out and greeted me in her birthday suit on my return. If I’d been carrying a bag of groceries, they’d have undoubtedly hit the floor and broken the tableau, but no such interruption came to rescue me. I was sure I was bright red by the time I managed to tear my eyes away and awkwardly clear my throat.
“Uh, Twilight, could you maybe…” But I remembered that she didn’t have any clothes to put on, and I was too befuddled to think of other solutions. If Twilight kept blowing my mind like this, I’d be lucky not to have an aneurysm.
“What’s wrong? Oh, I know I haven’t gotten the human illusion done yet, but that’s because it’ll be easy and I’ve been working on this part, since I kept finding little ways to improve it and I needed to get used to walking on two legs like this anyway. I tried keeping all four hooves, but picking things up didn’t look right at all with an illusion of hands, so I had to spend a little more time on proper hands. I’m still pretty clumsy with them, but I can make up for it with hoof-grip — or is that hand-grip now? Anyway, what do you think? Is there anything I need to fix?”
“No, it’s fine. I’m impressed… A lot more impressed than I expected to be. You look great. And that’s…” I didn’t want to say it was a problem, but it was certainly giving me a problem.
“What? Do I look too good?” She blinked in confusion, then thought about what she’d said and chuckled. “Oh, I see. You’re blushing! Are you attracted to me?”
“Hoo, boy. That’s a loaded question.” I rubbed my face with one hand and tried to make eye contact without paying attention to anything below that, especially not the pair of things my eyes wanted to focus on. “And I would never in my life have expected the answer to be yes, even with all the caveats I’m compelled to add to that answer.”
She laughed, bouncing a little, which made it even harder for me to keep my eyes off her bodies. Body! I turned into the kitchen for a distraction. I needed a drink of water anyway. Or a cold shower.
“Is it the nudity taboo?” I heard her hoofsteps following behind me. “I look human enough now that you’re embarrassed by it?”
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s also considered rude to stare at a woman’s… body, and you were making it hard not to.” I filled a glass as I spoke, and then downed half of it as she replied.
“So your people have all sorts of pictures of nude or barely dressed women to look at, but if you look at her instead of at pictures of her, it’s rude? I’m not criticizing, just confused.”
I frowned at the glass, considering how to explain. “Well, the picture is not the woman. And a picture of one person is rarely involuntary. Some places are willing to pay well to have attractive ladies model or act in… all the things I showed you, and plenty that I’d rather not. Even so, if you went up to someone you’d seen in a picture and started staring at them, like they were just some object? Yeah, it would be offensive.”
“I see… That makes sense. Okay, how’s this look?”
I glanced over my shoulder, then relaxed as I turned for a better look. Twilight had apparently conjured up a grey long-sleeved sweatshirt and matching pants. They must have been illusions, and they covered a lot more than really necessary, but I wasn’t going to complain. No longer at risk of death by embarrassment, I smiled and nodded. “Much better, thanks.”
“Rarity would have a fit if she saw me in something so drab and simple, but I can always change it later. It’s a lot easier to make a tighter outfit move correctly than something loose like a dress, and this was faster to whip up than something with more detail…”
“They’re fine. I appreciate it.” I went to pat her shoulder, hesitated, then did it anyway. Yep, definitely an illusion. It didn’t vanish or anything silly like that, and it hugged her skin… hide… coat… pretty closely there, but I definitely felt that instead of fabric. It hugged her in other areas too, although she wasn’t really all that voluptuous now that I could think about it with a clearer head. Still, she had enough to make the illusory fabric pull away from her torso in the usual places, and it did so in a surprisingly realistic fashion.
“Excellent!” She smiled, apparently dismissing my hesitation and lingering blush. “I think I’m done adjusting the physical transformation. Now I just need to pick an appropriate human disguise. Maybe you could help with that?”
It struck me suddenly that I was almost exactly eye to eye with Twilight now. I’m a pretty average height, about five feet ten inches, so it wasn’t too rare. But that put her on the tall side for a woman. I didn’t see a way for it to cause problems, though, so I didn’t feel it worth mentioning.
“Yeah, let’s use the couch.”
We sat down, side by side this time, and I brought my laptop out of standby. A bit of Googling later, Twilight had picked out features she liked from an assortment of images. We didn’t want anything too obvious, like a knockoff of the ways ‘human-Twilight’ had been drawn by various artists, or something that would look out of place in my company.
Finally she spent about a minute concentrating. I guess she was taking the time to make it as perfect as possible, unlike previous illusions she hadn’t planned to reuse. And it was undoubtedly a lot more complex a task than a flock of pigeons. This one would need to move exactly as she did while significantly altering her appearance. She might have said it would be easy, but I found it hard to believe.
“Okay, that’s got it! I’ll be able to recall this at will now.”
“Recall what? You haven’t done anything yet.”
“I’ve been… sculpting, I suppose you could call it, and painting, and altering an illusion spell to work with this shape.” She grinned and stood up. “And committing it all to memory, so I won’t end up a little different each time.”
“Ah, that would be important, yes…”
Twilight chuckled at my dry tone and rose from the couch. She swished her tail so it wrapped around her leg, and her horn flared to life for about a second. Then it vanished, along with her wings (which had been sticking through the shirt), temporarily leaving a glowing patch on her forehead like a ‘third eye’. Her image blurred, and then it was done.
Before me stood a lovely lady with lightly tanned skin, a round face with slight dimples from her smile, brown eyes, and wavy brunette hair that fell just past her shoulders. She had the same build as Twilight’s altered body, and was just as tall. Her feet were clad in high heeled sandals, and I realized that her hooves made that a more natural posture, helping to explain away several inches of her height. The grey outfit remained, for the moment.
“Wow.”
“You like it?” Her dimples became even more pronounced as she broke into a wide grin.
“It’s… outstanding. Fantastic. If I hadn’t seen it…”
I got up and reached out for her hand. “May I?” She didn’t understand what I wanted at first, but nodded assent, so I took it in mine and examined it gently. I could feel minor differences, and like the clothing, this illusion didn’t make the short hair on her arm feel like humans’ nearly-bare skin. I felt around her shoulder blade and found her feathery wing, making her twitch and pull away slightly. “Careful…”
“Sorry. Maybe we should try to get you some actual clothes. Would the wings fit under something, or would a low back or some holes be required? And what about your tail?”
“The tail’s easy enough to keep out of the way, I could probably wear regular pants or a skirt without any problems. I can work on the transformation some more later, and get rid of the wings. That won’t be a bother, since I’m used to it already. For the moment, I could probably use one of those sleeveless shirts with the narrow straps over the shoulder that I saw in some pictures, if that’s not too… provocative?”
I laughed. “No, that would be fine. You’d look good in one.”
“Not too good, I hope?” She arched an amused eyebrow at me.
“No, I was overreacting earlier, out of surprise mainly. I really hadn’t expected to see you like that, or to… um… have the kind of reaction I did.”
She chuckled softly and patted my shoulder the way I’d done earlier. “Well, I’ll do my best not to provoke more of the same, if it makes you so uncomfortable. Now, before I start getting too hungry from all that spellwork, I remember you wanted to pack some things before we left?”
“Yeah, definitely bringing my laptop and at least an overnight bag with some clothes. And you’d mentioned nonperishable food. While I’m doing that, why don’t you have a look in the kitchen and see if there’s anything that looks good. I’ll check it over before we go, since a lot of it might be unfamiliar.”
“Okay, I’ll get started on that.”
I was pleased to note that she was using her hands, though she clearly did need the practice. It was mostly little things, like pulling a cupboard open without curling her fingers around the handle, or holding a bottle without wrapping her thumb far enough around the other side, and whenever I noticed a mistake in passing I mentioned it so she could try to correct it. But I was busy enough with my own task, and shortly I was off to the bedroom to continue packing.
> 7: Alias
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	7: Alias

With my laptop and accessories in its travel bag tucked under one arm, the strap over my opposite shoulder, and the packed overnight bag in hand, I stepped back out into the rest of my apartment. I had all the things I’d need for a week or two away from home, but we’d have to pick up any feminine necessities Twilight needed. Come to think of it, I had no idea what sort of ‘necessities’ a pony princess would require. I hoped there wouldn’t be anything too out of the ordinary, but I decided I’d better just ask her instead of letting my imagination run away with me. As it turns out, I saved myself a lot of worry by doing so.
“Oh, don’t worry about anything like that. I’m perfectly capable of ‘roughing it’ for a while. And I did bring a few things along in my saddlebags, like a good brush for my mane, a comb, toothbrush, hoof-trimmer, and wing-care supplies. Hmm, I suppose if I get too dirty I’ll need some shampoo for a bath. I doubt the solid soap I saw in your bathroom would work very well on my coat, and that foamy shampoo in there doesn’t seem suitable at all.”
“Foamy… shampoo? From the black bottle, comes out when you press on the spout?” She nodded, and I smirked. “That was shaving cream, Twilight. For my face.”
Her eyes widened, and she put down the cup of yogurt she’d been eating from before I interrupted to come have a closer look at me. She was using a spoon, and not spilling any despite using no magic that I could see, which was impressive for never having hands before.
“You shave all the fur off your faces? What — No, you have eyebrows, and I saw some with hairy…”
I laughed and rubbed the area where my beard and mustache grew, moving closer so she could get a good look. “Just this part. Males tend to have a lot of it, but it can get in the way and a lot of us prefer to remove it. It’s easier to keep clean and is often seen as a more professional appearance.”
“Oh, I see! I wonder if there’d be demand for something like a hair growth suppression spell…”
“You can…? Okay, forget I even started to ask that question. So you were checking out the bathroom?”
“Yes, I… figured out how to use the plumbing system. You were right, it would have been pretty awkward before. But I was curious how it worked, too, so I looked inside the tank. It’s a remarkably similar system to some of ours, for all that it’s shaped differently. And I was glad to see the soap by the sink.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t use the solid kind?”
“Oh, I didn’t. But it means your people have an understanding of how diseases spread and have taken steps to reduce the risk.”
I looked at her yogurt, which she had resumed eating. With a spoon. Both of which were held in hands that she claimed she hadn’t washed, right before talking about how important it was to do so. I was quite perplexed.
Twilight paused when she noticed me staring, and a few seconds later she grimaced in disgust. “Ew! Casey… No!” Her eyes glowed with a purple shimmer, and the yogurt and spoon did likewise, floating out of her hands. “I didn’t need to. I have a big advantage over you in that respect, remember?”
I winced and smacked my forehead. “Sorry, I’m an idiot. I guess your disguise is fooling even me!”
She laughed at that and went back to eating.
“But that reminds me,” I added as I pulled a slice of leftover ham and pineapple pizza out of the fridge and prepared to start munching on it. “I can’t go around calling you Twilight, much less Princess, or that disguise won’t be worth beans.”
“Hmm, that’s a good point. How about Evening Shine?” I shook my head. “Dawn Flash? Morning Star?”
“You can’t come up with an alias that’s unrelated to your real name?” I wasn’t even going to touch the last one she’d suggested.
“Sure, but where’s the fun in that?”
I snorted and rolled my eyes, both of us chuckling. “Anyway, those are lovely and all, but in this country we don’t generally use English words or phrases as names. At least not first n— Wait…” I grimaced. I was being an idiot again, and Twilight gave me a smug look. “Okay, how can I figure out what you’re actually saying instead of what it means?”
“Just focus on what your ears are actually hearing. Like, when I say Casey Miller, it should match up, but everything else won’t if you pay attention. The translator mildly suppresses the processing of my voice so that your mind can distinguish more easily between the unrecognized noises and the concepts it supplies, and so you won’t be confused by sounds that coincidentally form words you do recognize. But you should be able to easily override that effect.”
I’d begun to catch on right after she said my name. “Okay, I think I get it. I can see why you have it doing that, it is a little distracting, but… Try again, say some names.”
“Twilight Sparkle… Evening Shine…”
I held up a hand. “Okay, that sounds promising… ‘ti-sha-ne-loose’?”
“Ishanna Leuss”, Evening Shine, she repeated, the meanings starting to gather around the appropriate groups of sounds in my head. Magic like this could be an amazing tool for learning languages, I suspected.
“Ee-shahn-uh… Lu… Leuss…” The last bit reminded me of Doctor Seuss (the anglicized pronunciation, not the German). I pictured writing the name down. Ishanna Leuss. It would work. And a somewhat foreign-sounding name would go along with the inability to speak English.
“Alright, Ishanna it is!”
Twilight’s disguise dimpled adorably as she grinned. “Congratulations, you’re learning Equestrian!”
“Heh, thanks… I suppose it does qualify as ‘learning’, even if it is just two words.”
“You always have to start somewhere.”
We finished our snacks and I made a quick pit stop, then we took one last look around before gathering our bags and heading out the door. Twilight had reshaped her saddlebags into a purse — at least on the outside. It was bigger on the inside, with all the items she’d mentioned and a few she hadn’t, plus room to spare. At first it wouldn’t open for me, when I tried closing it and reopening it again, but then she gave my hand a tap. After that it opened easily. I didn’t ask, assuming it was some kind of magic lock and she’d given me a ‘key’.
Now we just had to dodge any reporters who might have figured out where I lived. We’d need the press soon enough, but we needed those who would give Twilight favorable publicity first, not just any schmuck with a camera chasing the next internet fad. So we took the elevator down to the ground floor and Twilight took the lead through the small lobby, watching for anyone who seemed more interested in who was coming and going from the building than they should be.
Looks clear to me, she sent back. Nobody standing around or looking this way, at least.
I followed, and was nearly to the door when I spotted a news van cruising past through the barred glass. I quickly ducked to one side, out of sight. “Great. Somebody’s quick on the uptake.”
“What now? I could try to disguise you temporarily…”
“Hmm. I’d rather not risk blowing your cover by having you spotted with me. I guess we’ll have to try that.”
“Right, give me just a moment.”
As she worked her magic, I kept an eye out for anyone coming into or out of the building. Our luck held, and she finished seconds before the door beeped and opened to admit a resident. I caught the door behind him and Twilight and I stepped out.
“Here goes nothing…”
“We’ll be fine.”
Says the one who’s been in this world a matter of hours, I silently replied.
“I trust you. Between my magic and your expertise, we can put our heads together and get the help we need to make sure everything works out.”
I wasn’t sure what kind of expertise she thought I had that would be useful in this situation. I was feeling rather out of my depth. “Thanks. I just hope I’m not really messing things up.”
The news van hadn’t found a place to park, but had paused to let two people out. They were headed toward the entrance, and we didn’t want to linger. Especially since they wouldn’t be able to get inside, and might try questioning us without even knowing who we were, just because we’d come out of the building. I tried to look disinterested as we turned away from them and headed off down the sidewalk. We’d turn the corner and then swing around the next block to head for the nearby subway entrance (one of the reasons I’d chosen this apartment).
I figured the best disguise we could hope for would be to look like your typical ‘stupid tourists’, and in Twilight’s case, that was at least half-true. She’d probably be entranced by the wonders of the big city enough for the both of us, and there were things we’d have to shop for anyway. We needed some kind of real clothes that would fit her, we needed to eat something more than the snacks we’d had at home and were carrying with us, and we needed a cheap but safe place to spend the night.
I was pondering whether dinner or clothes should come first when I realized I had not taken into account several important factors. We would be shopping for women’s clothes, not men’s. We were shopping for a female of a completely different species. And she had never worn human-style clothes in her life. I had no idea how long it would take for her to pick out appropriate garments in a size that fit her and that she could put on and take off without assistance (although with her magic I probably didn’t have to worry too much about that part). Food would definitely need to come first.
“That sandwich shop I mentioned is just a bit past the subway station. We can eat, then take a ride and find a clothing store… That reminds me. People around here are particularly sensitive to being stared at. And don’t look anyone in the eye.”
“Here, more than elsewhere?”
“Yeah. This city can get pretty crowded, especially on the subway, so folks are really attached to whatever scraps of privacy they can hold on to. That’s the way I see it, at least.”
“Interesting. I’ll do my best not to upset anyone.”
“Also, there are people who can be very dangerous… not a great many, fortunately, and I’ve lived here for years and never been mugged or anything… but it’s best to be cautious.”
Twilight nodded slowly. “Life is not always friendship and rainbows back home, either. We do our best to look out for everyone, but there are still some who manage to fall through the cracks, or have problems due to making poor decisions… It’s become a growing issue, as our population has increased more in recent decades than in most of our past.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, and we walked in silence for a while.
> 8: Food for Thought
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	8: Food for Thought

As we neared our destination, I took a few minutes to describe some of the sandwich choices I remembered, so we wouldn’t have to talk too much about them once we arrived. Repeating everything someone said to her in the same language they said it in would come across very strange. I’d have to try to use the telepathy feature to pass on anything she actually needed to answer, and then hope she could make do with pointing, nodding, shaking her head, or brief replies which I could translate without too much suspicion.
The shop wasn’t very busy when we arrived, for which I was grateful. The difficulties I’d foreseen with ordering were handled with relative ease. I made sure ‘Ishanna’ didn’t accidentally pick any meat products, and she ended up with a large sub sandwich with all the vegetables they had, plus several kinds of cheese, mustard, and mayonnaise. I had a smaller ham and turkey sandwich, much less stuffed compared to her sub, and some vegetable beef soup. I hoped her sub wouldn’t be too much of a challenge to eat. That thing was practically bursting. At least I’d gotten them to cut it into three sections instead of two.
We’d picked a table in the furthest corner, and Twilight had made herself comfortable on the bench against the wall, opposite my chair. I had just taken my first bite, and now she was distracted from unwrapping her sub, looking at the layers of my sandwich.
“That… is meat?”
She seemed curious, perhaps confused. I looked at it, blinked, and nodded as I chewed. Ham and turkey, from pigs and a kind of bird…
“I can hardly tell it apart from the cheese.”
I swallowed and grinned. “Well, it’s cooked, and probably processed a bit first… What did you expect? A hunk of flesh so rare it bleeds?”
Twilight winced and made a face, one which I mirrored almost immediately. “Ugh. No, but…”
“Sorry. Poor choice of words.”
“It’s fine.”
“I really should learn to think before I speak.”
She gave me a wry smile in response, and carefully scooped up a section of her sandwich, which required a few tries until it wasn’t threatening to spill its contents everywhere. I watched carefully, wondering how her illusion would handle eating. As far as I could tell, she was exactly what she appeared, even as she bit into the sub, chewed, and swallowed, then did it all again.
What? Am I doing something wrong? Twilight was looking back at me, having paused in the middle of taking her third bite to send that silent query.
“Sorry! Didn’t mean to stare.” I blushed and continued without speaking, busying myself with my own food. I was trying to figure out how your illusion handles eating and things like that. Where differences between your body and the image would be an issue, like eating.
She chuckled and resumed doing so. Well, a glamour is a very specialized kind of illusion. It’s designed to handle all sorts of problems like that. For instance, do you see me leaning my head forward as I take a bite?
I almost nodded, and then realized that might look strange if anyone was watching. What could I be responding to? She hadn’t spoken aloud, after all. Yeah, is that important?
I’m not actually doing as much of that as it looks like. It helps to make the illusion line up with my real teeth. The glamour is designed to adapt the image to points of contact between myself and other objects as they approach. There’s a bit of prioritization involved, and it has limits, but it should be able to handle most situations.
I had thought it was impressive before, but this was something else entirely. Sounds even more complex than I thought.
A glamour really has to be, she responded, if you want it to hold up under any real scrutiny. The pigeons were child’s play in comparison.
As I ate, I thought about Twilight’s surprise at the appearance of the meat in my sandwich. Then I had a disturbing thought. In the show, one of your friends can talk to animals… like they actually understand her.
“Fluttershy?” She grinned and nodded. I tried to catch what the name actually sounded like, but I hadn’t been concentrating on that and missed it. “She has a real way with them, but it’s not like they’re actually smart. They’re just animals, nothing like the various sapient species.”
My look of relief was probably enough to clue her in all by itself, even if her own intellect hadn’t easily made the association with the previous topic, and her eyes widened. “Oh. Wow, I see what you mean. If every predator’s meal was like a tiny little murder, that would be pretty disturbing…” Twilight shuddered. “Especially since griffins and dragons are mainly predators, even if they can eat other things. Griffins are fond of fruit as well, and their fancier cuisine often includes dairy, some kinds of pasta, legumes, and mushrooms. And dragons eat plenty of gems for the concentrated magic and minerals, as well as being technically omnivores like us. Except most of them tend to swing to the other side of that continuum, like I said.”
“Interesting. So Spike can really get by on your diet?”
“Well, if he didn’t mind lots of eggs he theoretically could, as long as he had enough gems to make up the lower energy content. But he hunts sometimes, especially when Gilda stops by…”
“Gilda? Dash’s griffin friend?” Twilight nodded in reply. “You say she’s a regular visitor? She only showed up in one episode, where they had a fight because she was being a jerk.”
“Well, she can be a bit abrasive at times. What was the episode about?”
“Her first visit, probably? Pinkie’s welcome party?”
She gasped. “Oh my gosh, I had almost forgotten about all that! Yeah, I remember it. So Rainbow Dash is trying to make up for lost time with her old friend, right? And she set up all kinds of pranks, planning to have a good laugh with her, but somehow Gilda ends up getting caught by a bunch of them. She thinks they were all Pinkie’s fault, like the whole party was just a set-up to make fun of her.”
“It didn’t help that the town never got all that many griffins, so a lot of people were wary of her, and she didn’t get along very well with some of our other friends either. She tolerates Fluttershy, mostly since Dash is so protective of her, and she can’t stand Rarity. But she gets along alright with Applejack, since they’re all pretty competitive, and she makes an effort for Pinkie now that they’ve worked out their differences…”
Twilight shrugged and continued. “Anyway, she had a big fit, Dash told her off and defended us, and Gilda flew off in a huff… But Pinkie told Dash to go after her. I swear, that woman would try to make her worst enemy happy!”
Something about that thought struck me as incredibly funny. “Could Pinkie even have enemies?”
The disguised princess giggled and shrugged. “Well, technically. But they’d have to be pretty determined to stay that way! Fortunately, she wasn’t.”
This was one divergence from the show that I was pleased to hear about. “You think she knew they could work things out?”
“Or hoped. We could all tell Dash wasn’t happy that Gilda took off, but I think Pinkie knew it was more than that. I’m not sure Gilda would’ve come back on her own. She’s got a lot of pride and it was badly bruised by that rejection. Dash was afraid to go at first, she didn’t want us to think her defense of us was anything less than a hundred percent. But Pinkie was pretty insistent. ‘She’s your friend, and she needs you a lot more than we do right now,’ I think is what she said. At any rate, Dash just smiled and took off like a rocket.”
Twilight paused to take a bite, and I was in the middle of chewing one myself. But I already had a decent idea of how things turned out, from the things Twilight had already said, and I grinned. It sounded like Pinkie had managed to make even the grumpy griffin smile in the end.
“I don’t know the details of what happened next. I didn’t see them for the rest of the day, but Pinkie spotted them landing at Rainbow’s house that evening. The next morning they were practically inseparable, and Gilda awkwardly apologized the next time she met each of us. Since then she’s been a regular visitor. She usually flies out two or three weekends a month to hang out, and for special occasions too.”
“That’s good to hear, I know I’m not the only one who was a little disappointed with that episode. I’m surprised how well that one matches up with what you just told me, though.”
“Really?” Twilight gave me a bemused look. “It still feels weird that you people know so much about our lives, and have made up such fanciful stories about us. Oh, don’t look like that, I know it’s not your fault.”
I nodded and let that subject drop again. “You were saying something about her and Spike?”
“That’s right! She ended up giving him hunting lessons, because he wasn’t doing that well at it when he started trying on his own. His appetite was getting harder to cope with as he grew, especially once his wings got big enough to fly, and none of us were qualified to give him hunting lessons. Not even Rainbow, as much as she thought otherwise to begin with!”
I chuckled about that. “So no butcher’s shop or the like in Ponyville, huh?”
“No, like I said, we don’t get a lot of meat-eaters there. Canterlot is different, as are a lot of the big cities. And areas along the borders with the griffin territories are different too.”
She looked at my half-devoured sandwich with an odd expression. “So despite what I said earlier, I’ve never actually had any before.”
“Oh. Erm… Are you asking for a taste?”
“No, I just… Well… Maybe?” She didn’t seem very certain, either, not like she was trying to hide eagerness behind something else. Interest, sure, but it was very mixed.
“Well, if you decide you do…” I tore a small strip of each kind of meat off the untouched side of my sandwich and set them aside. “Don’t ruin your dinner, though.”
“Right. I am quite hungry, and this sandwich is delicious!”
Twilight was making quick work of her meal, and licked some wayward mustard from her fingers once the first portion of the sandwich had vanished. I noticed her eyeing the strips of meat I’d set aside. I didn’t say anything, but she must have seen me looking and blushed.
“Well, it’s not like it’ll do me any harm… And I am curious… Purely in a scientific sense, of course… And it’s not like I have some noble image to live up to that would be ruined forever if I was seen doing something so ‘abnormal’ for a pony as snacking on cooked animal flesh…!”
“Ishanna.” I was afraid Twilight was getting a little worked up, and if it got much worse she might attract attention. Even if nobody could understand her, that wouldn’t do our cover any good at all. And, of course, I didn’t like to see her stressing out the way she seemed to be. Fortunately, she paused in her anxious rambling.
“If you want to try it, then try it. Nobody’s judging you here, least of all me.” I smiled and pushed the napkin I’d set them on toward her. “Just relax, okay?”
She blushed more, but took a deep breath and gave me a chagrined smile. “I guess I was being a little silly, wasn’t I? Thanks.”
I chuckled. “No problem.”
Twilight picked up the strip of ham, sniffed at it (there was that leaning forward effect she’d mentioned), and gave it a tentative lick. She nibbled on one end of it, and finally the whole piece went in her mouth. “It’s very salty…”
“That’s typical of ham. Try the turkey.”
She repeated the same series of steps, most likely so she could compare her observations, though she was far less hesitant about it the second time around. “Interesting texture. Somewhat fibrous, but not nearly as stringy as some plants, and easy to chew. The taste, though… It’s not unpleasant, but it’s certainly unlike anything I’ve tried before.”
“Yeah. When it’s cooked properly, meat can be very tender and flavorful.”
She picked up the middle portion of her sandwich and glanced thoughtfully at mine, then shrugged. “I suppose I’ll have plenty of time to experiment while I’m here. Wouldn’t want to upset my digestion with too much of an unfamiliar diet.”
“Wise of you. Even we can have that sort of trouble. Oh, and there are plenty of meat substitutes available, like veggie burgers… I tried one a few years back, it was different, but not bad.”
“Do you know if they have those here?”
“Probably not, this is more of a sandwich place. Something to keep in mind for later.”
“I’ll add it to the list,” she replied. Her eyes shimmered faintly and she spoke as if dictating. “Thirty-seven… Investigate meat-substitute options.”
I really should not have been surprised that Twilight Sparkle had a to-do-list spell.
> 9: Families, Feels, and Failings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	9: Families, Feels, and Failings

We had finished eating and had gathered our bags and gotten up to leave when my phone rang. It was a special ringtone, which explained why the filter hadn’t directed it to voicemail. That ringtone, a clip from ‘Mercy’ by a Welsh singer called Duffy, was reserved for one person: My big sister, Mercedes. I pulled my phone out and shouldered the door open as I answered.
“Hey, Mercy. What’s up?”
“I should be asking you that! Have you seen your Facebook page?”
I only really used it to follow what friends and family who did were up to, and checking for new photos of Mercy’s twins had been the last thing on my mind after Twilight appeared.
“No, is there a problem?”
Adjusting my bags, I glanced at Twilight, who was listening curiously. I led her a short ways down the sidewalk and put my back to the building so we wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. I let the overnight bag’s shoulder strap slide off my arm and set it down next to me, but the smaller laptop tote stayed securely at my side.
“Case, there’s a ton of people posting comments to you, and tagging you in pictures… Really crazy pictures! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Mercy, I’m fine. It’s, uh, nothing to worry about.”
“Don’t give me that! There are videos all over the place. In few of them you can hear your name. And then you and whatever that thing is just vanish!”
“Look, I’m fine, but I’m a little busy right now, and trying to avoid attention…”
I could hear her sigh. “Casey… I’m worried. Do you have any idea how many views these things are getting?! Apparently people linked some of these on a fansite for some cartoon and they’re treating it like the second coming of Christ. The comments sections are flooded with them!”
“Ugh, I can imagine.”
“I doubt your Facebook page is the only thing they’ve found. I want to know what’s going on. I want to help.”
“What’s going on is a bit hard to explain… hard to believe, really.”
“I’m your sister! Since when do I not trust you?”
“Would you believe it if I told you first contact with real aliens involved fictional characters right out of your favorite Star Trek episode? And this is worse.”
“Because it’s some cartoon pony? You’re not joking, are you?”
“Magic cartoon pony. Except not so cartoony. Do I sound like I’m joking?”
“No… you sound pretty stressed. What happened to it? Where are you now? I hear traffic…”
“Well, I figured my apartment would get… visitors… of various sorts, so we went out to get something to eat, get her some clothes, and find a place to lie low while —”
“Wait, ‘we’? As in, you and the purple horse? In public?”
I winced. “Not exactly. Remember when I said ‘hard to believe’ and ‘magic’?”
“…And you said ‘clothes’, too. You realize you’re making no sense at all, right? This is not a pair of Vulcan ears you can cover with a cap or a headband! Wait, is it some kind of shapeshifter? Did it pick a cartoon character so it would seem less threatening? Case, what if it’s tricking you?! Do you have any idea what this thing really wants?”
I rolled my eyes. “Have you considered that ‘it’ might be able to hear what you’re saying, Mercy?” Twilight couldn’t understand my sister’s half of the conversation directly, even if she could hear it clearly, but I’d been mentally passing along the gist of it. Twilight was wearing an odd expression mixing concern with amusement, and covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying here…”
Mercy cursed under her breath. “Umm, let me talk to… her?”
“That wouldn’t work very well, she doesn’t speak English.”
“You’re confusing me on purpose, aren’t you.”
I chuckled. “Sorry. Imagine a ‘Universal Translator’ that requires a touch-range spell to function.”
“So, I guess that explains part of what happened in those videos, am I right? Suddenly acting like you were having a conversation?”
“You got it.”
“Okay, look, Casey… Can you put your phone on video call? I’d feel a lot better if I could see that you’re alright.”
I glanced at Twilight and gave her a quick, silent explanation. “That okay with you?”
She nodded. “I don’t mind, if you don’t think it’s a problem.” She had set her bags down on the sidewalk as well, I noticed, except for the magic purse that had been her saddlebags.
“Okay, Mercy, just a moment.” After looking around to make sure there was still nobody close enough to overhear, I switched to speaker-phone mode and enabled video, holding the phone out a little so we’d both be visible. Mercy’s green eyes, long red hair, and freckled features popped up on the screen a moment later, her bedroom visible behind her. She looked surprised, staring at my face.
“Please tell me that’s just make-up.”
“Oh, right. It’s an illusion. We both needed a disguise, I might’ve been recognized too.”
Twilight was peering curiously at the screen, and raised her hand for a cautious little wave. “Hello?”
“That was ‘hello’,” I repeated in English. “I guess introductions are in order. Ishanna, this is my sister, Mercedes Williams. Mercy, you can call her ‘Ishanna Leuss’ for now. I’ll give you the details later, I can’t really be sure we won’t be overheard out here.”
“Come to my house,” Mercy told me.
“What? You’re almost an hour away. And what about the girls and Steve?”
“What about them? You keep telling me she isn’t a danger to you, right? If you wouldn’t trust her around my family, how can I believe that?”
“It’s not her I’m worried about! You said it yourself, people are looking for me. I don’t want to risk leading them to you.”
“Maybe so, but they’re not looking for us.”
“You can’t be sure they won’t connect me to you, Mercy!”
“If someone does decide to look here, they’ll come whether you’re actually here or not. And you can use your ‘mad kung-fu skills’ to protect us,” she added with an infuriating smirk. I didn’t bother reminding her that it wasn’t kung-fu as she was still talking, and thankfully in a more serious tone. “Casey, you need a place to stay, right? What were you planning, rent some dirty motel room and live on Chinese take-out for who knows how long?”
I opened my mouth and promptly shut it again. Exaggeration aside, that was not far from the truth.
“That’s what I thought. Your, uh… guest, can have the guest room, and you can take a couch or pull out an air mattress.”
I frowned as I contemplated other issues. “What about the girls? She can’t keep the disguise going all the time, and I really don’t think it would be wise to let them know about the…” I looked around quickly and decided, based on the proximity of other pedestrians, to avoid ‘the real, live magical talking pony princess’ and instead opted for “well, you’ve seen the videos.”
“Let me worry about the girls. And you don’t have to stay permanently if you can come up with a better solution, you know.”
Tricky woman! It would be a lot harder to leave if we’d already agreed to stay. But she made a good point. Several of them, really. I glanced at Twilight, wishing she could’ve been more involved in the conversation.
“Mercy, we need to discuss this. And we have at least one stop to make while the stores are still open. So, how about I call you back in a couple of hours?”
She sighed and studied Twilight. “Fine. But speaking of clothes, you better find her something that looks decent. Those sweats are awful. Where did you even get such ugly women’s clothing? Do you have a girlfriend you haven’t told me about? One with absolutely no taste?”
I blushed a little. I really did not want to tell my sister that my companion was actually standing there in the nude, with nothing but an illusion between her and the world. At least it wasn’t too cold out this evening, and she did have that fur coat, as short as it was. I certainly didn’t intend to relay my sister’s opinion of her ‘outfit’, but Twilight seemed to have caught on from her tone and the direction of her gaze and was blushing slightly. Great.
“No, Mercy. Ah, I guess it came with the disguise? I don’t know how this stuff works, sorry. We’ll definitely get Ishanna at least a couple decent outfits. Gotta look the part of a tourist for now, anyway.”
“Hmph. Knowing you, I’ll have to take her shopping myself before she has anything even halfway decent.”
“Hey!”
She smirked at me. “Love ya, Case.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Back at’cha. Later, Mercy.”
Twilight burst into a giggle fit as soon as I shut the phone off. She’d apparently been holding it in all through the conversation about her clothes. She received a glare for her trouble, but it only made her laughter worse. “Oh, your… your face! That was so awkward.”
“You’re not upset about the ‘ugly’ comment?”
“Of course not, she’s absolutely right. I said as much when I created it, didn’t I? Rarity would never be so rude as to suggest that I’m lacking in taste, but I am even less familiar with what looks good on a human form than an equine. And that’s saying something. There’s a reason I was never big on clothes.”
“It’s not that bad. I figured you were just being humble. Mercy can be a bit….”
“Headstrong? Forceful? Opinionated?” Twilight grinned. “You two remind me of myself and my big brother.”
“Really? That’s… I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or…”
She chuckled. “Just the way you talk to each other. It sounds like she cares a lot about you.”
“Yeah, well, we had to look out for each other as kids, after Mom died…”
Her smile did an immediate flip. “Oh, no… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s just one of those things.”
“Is it alright to ask what happened?”
“Yeah… Cancer. She’d had it when she was in college, but the doctors thought it was all gone. Until a few years after I was born, when it came back. They struggled with it for a few years, but in the end it just kept coming back, worse each time, no matter what they did. I was eight…” I suddenly found that I couldn’t make my voice work.
Twilight hugged me, and without thinking about it I put my arms around her. The unexpected feel of warm fur made me blush vividly. But it was just a hug, and I’d be damned if I rejected her innocent compassion out of mere embarrassment. The tips of her little invisible wings were brushing against one of my arms, and I tried to focus on that instead. I finally managed to swallow the lump in my throat and went on.
“Anyway, Dad worked pretty hard to take care of us, so we often had to look out for ourselves until he got home at night. Mercy’s four years older than me, and she kinda stepped into Mom’s role for a while.”
Twilight was still quietly embracing me, and showed no signs of letting up. After a few increasingly awkward seconds I cleared my throat. “We should probably get moving again…”
She gave me a squeeze and then let go, much to my relief. Not that it was unpleasant, but it was hard to keep my cool while being reminded yet again that the pretty lady (even if some of that was illusory) who was pressed against me was actually naked. And the last thing Twilight needed right now was to find herself on the receiving end of awkward inter-species ‘romantic’ advances, or anything that could be mistaken for them. She kept a hand on my shoulder, though. I suppose it was meant to be reassuring.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I was just… It sounds like such a terrifying disease. To never know if it’s really gone, or if it might just come back even worse next month or next year…”
I took a better look at her, and noticed that she actually had tears in her eyes. Maybe she was the one looking for reassurance?
“You’re… not familiar with it? Or did it not get translated properly?”
“No, I think it did. Uncontrolled cell growth, spreading to and damaging healthy tissue?” I nodded, and she shook her head. “That doesn’t… well, I’ve never heard or read of that happening to us. And I’ve studied a fair amount of medical literature. Not nearly as much as a specialized healer, but enough that I can help with the most common injuries and a number of illnesses where quick treatment is important.”
“Well, that’s good. I know some basic first aid too. I just hope I never have to find out if it works the same on ponies.” I shivered, and she squeezed my arm, chuckling softly.
“Well, anything that basic should be equally applicable. We’re surprisingly similar, physically speaking.”
Twilight bent to retrieve her bags and I did the same.
“What makes you think that?” I asked her, and began walking.
She hesitated. “I did a little research… You know, with your folding computer, and that encyclopedia in your world network.”
I glanced at her with a frown. “Tw— Ishanna, you can’t read English. And the only time I left you alone with it was while you were busy working on your… project, anyway.” There were people passing us on the sidewalk, so I couldn’t just say ‘transformation spell’.
“Er… right. Well, I… Okay, I may have… harmlessly… scanned your body while we were looking up those pictures. Just a little bit.”
If it was so harmless and little, why would she need to lie about it? I pressed my lips together to avoid barking out several choice curses, but my anger must have leaked through. Twilight suddenly broke contact and shrank away as if I’d screamed at her, and the worst part was that she looked like she was actually frightened.
> 10: Friendship Reports from Earth
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I’d just found out that Twilight had not only used more magic on me without even the courtesy of informing me after the fact, but had also preferred to lie about it than admit it to me. Twilight was not a good liar.
No matter how harmless any particular instance was, I really didn’t want her to think she could just do whatever she pleased to me without my knowledge, much less permission. Unless circumstances precluded any possibility of discussion beforehand, like saving me from a runaway truck. To be fair, I trusted her abilities and her good intentions. It was her judgement I had concerns about.
But the lie was what really lit my fuse. It was a shock, and I was angry — and, though I hated to admit it, a little scared. I wasn’t showing it openly like she was though. Maybe she was right about needing to turn down the sensitivity on the translation spell, or maybe she just realized how stupid a blunder she’d made a moment ago. She quickly disabused me of that hope.
“I’m sorry! I should have asked. I just… didn’t want you to be afraid again, or too embarrassed because of your taboos. I thought you’d refuse and then I couldn’t have done nearly as well with the transformation and it would’ve taken longer and you were so worried that we didn’t have time…” She had to pause for breath, and I turned and gently put my hand on her arm. I’m not sure if she flinched, or if it was just my imagination.
“Stop. I appreciate that, but you’re losing sight of a larger issue.” I drew a few slow, deep breaths while taking advantage of the translation spell’s mindlink to continue privately.
The magic isn’t the big problem. That first time, I was trapped, confused, and afraid I might have made a horrible mistake. You proved me wrong, and I’m over it. You’ve used plenty of magic on me, from this translator to teleportation and illusions… I hardly think a bit of magic x-ray vision is worth being upset about at this point, especially since you had a perfectly good reason. We both agreed that you needed a disguise, and I was willing to help with that. You were working under pressure in an unfamiliar environment and needed all the help you could get.
Yeah, I would’ve been embarrassed probably, but I’d still have let you go ahead, for all the reasons I just mentioned. I know you don’t really understand the nudity taboo, but you should still respect it and get permission. And it’s not an inflexible rule. Doctors see us naked, you’ve seen how skimpy swimwear can be, and there are even people who prefer to go without clothes whenever possible. I do understand your reason for not asking, but in the future, if you’re going to use magic on me I want you to ask first, or if that’s impossible, then tell me as soon as you can afterward. If you’ll promise me that, then you can consider that part forgiven.
My expression hardened. But here’s what I’m really upset about. I’m putting a lot at risk here to help you. My savings, my job, who knows, maybe my life — even my sister’s family could get in trouble, especially if we stay there. If I’m going to keep doing that, I need to know I can trust you. If you’re this willing to start lying to me, just because you think I might not like the truth… how can I know that you’re being honest about really important stuff? And can you be certain you’ll know what really is important and what isn’t, here on an alien world? A ‘white lie’ about something you think doesn’t matter might just get us into huge trouble!
Twilight’s glamoured brown eyes, wide with fresh understanding, fell to the sidewalk under the weight of enough regret to dampen even Pinkie Pie’s cheer. Her reply was contrite and punctuated with slow nods. “I’m sorry, Casey, you’re absolutely correct. I should have known better. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
I considered her for a moment and then let my tension dissipate with a sigh, rubbing her arm (fuzzy, despite the appearance of cloth and skin) in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. “Alright… I’ll accept that. I know you meant well, but… we have a saying here: ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ Anyway, let’s get going. — Come on, chin up, you look like a whipped puppy.”
I faced forward to resume our trip, slipping my arm around her back to comfort her. I made sure to keep it above her hips, just for my own peace of mind.
Twilight looked up at me in confusion. Actually, it only seemed like she was looking ‘up’ because of how she was slouching just then. It made her just a few hairs shorter than me.
“You use such disturbing expressions sometimes, and so casually,” she stated after a brief interlude.
“Hah. Yeah, sorry, our languages can be a bit… strange like that. I hope it doesn’t bother you too much.”
“It’s just strange, as you say. Cultural differences, I suppose.” She seemed to be putting the argument behind her, not dwelling on it or letting it keep dragging her mood down, and I took a deep, relieved breath.
“Well, so far you don’t seem to be taking the culture shock too hard. But I suppose I should really wait to say that until you’ve been here longer than half a day.” I grinned at her. “Hey, at least you’ve already got your first friendship report from another world.”
Bemused, she pondered that, trying to puzzle out my meaning. Then she laughed. “Oh, right! The morals from the animated stories.”
“Dear Princess Celestia…” I intoned, ignoring a raised eyebrow from a passing woman.
Twilight surprised me by continuing in the same playful manner. “Today I learned that what might seem like a little white lie to you might be something far different to a friend, especially a new friend whose trust you’ve not yet earned. No matter what world you’re in, honesty really is the best policy, even when it leads to uncomfortable moments. Working through them together can bring you closer and build a stronger foundation for that trust. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at Twilight, and her grin faltered.
“What? Did I mess it up?”
“Nnnnno…” I responded slowly. “That was perfect. Are you pulling my leg?”
The disguised alicorn shook her head. “Pulling your… Oh, you don’t have tails. Why would you think I’m joking?”
“You’ve never done those before, and you’re telling me you came up with all of that on the spot?”
“Written ‘friendship reports’ to the Princess?” She chuckled and shook her head again. “Not like that, no. But I hate to waste good ink and paper, so I have become proficient at planning out and organizing what I want to write. Sunny and I are very close, and we correspond frequently even when we can’t speak face to face. And of course, I do have friends, with whom I sometimes experience disagreements or other problems. Just talking about them often helps, and if I need more than that, she’s a very good source of advice, to the point that Mother sometimes gets jealous.”
She glanced at me and smirked. “Also, you did show me all those animated stories and memories earlier, and the format was not difficult to replicate.” I laughed. She chuckled with me and then continued.
“I generally address her by name in personal correspondence, though. ‘Her Royal Majesty Sunny Skies, Princess Celestial Reach, Lady of the Eternal Sun, Champion of Harmony, yadda yadda yadda’ would get very tiresome, especially since it would mean I’d have to sign with my own full title as well!”
“What would yours be?”
She sighed. “‘Her Royal Highness Twilight Sparkle, Princess Everfree’ is pretty much all there is to it at the moment, although I can tack on my degrees and such if I actually want to sound more pretentious or think it might have a chance of making someone realize I know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m glad they’re only required for official documents. And that she was able to get everyone to just call her ‘Princess Celestia’ most of the time.”
“Okay, I’m getting a little confused. You’ve called her several different things now. Princess Celestia, Princess Celestial Reach, and... did you say Sunny Skies?”
She gave me an odd look. “That’s right. Did they get some of that wrong?”
“I’ve only seen ‘Sunny Skies’ used in a handful of fanfictions, as an alias while she was disguised as a regular pony…”
“Curious. So what name does the show give her, then?”
“Celestia.”
Twilight waited for more, and when I shrugged, she arched an eyebrow at me, looking a bit disgruntled. “Her Royal Majesty Celestia, Princess Celestia?” It did sound rather awkward when she said it like that. “Your world’s usage of such titles must be somewhat different than ours to make a mistake like that.”
“Well, feudal systems of government and land rights and noble titles are mostly a thing you read about in history books, here. There are a handful of countries where remnants of them can still be found, but this one never had any of that. It’s also possible the writers were trying to keep things simple for the young audience…”
“Hmph. I suppose that makes sense.”
I couldn’t help grinning at her, and she gave me an annoyed glance.
“What?”
“You’re just — you seem so protective of her.”
Twilight blushed slightly. “Well, I guess it’s a bit silly to complain about how she’s portrayed by people who think they invented her as a character in a story. But she’s my friend! I can’t help it.”
“I get the impression ‘friend’ isn’t even the half of it, if your mother is jealous of your relationship.”
“Okay, that part may have been a slight exaggeration for dramatic effect.”
“But am I wrong?”
Her gaze locked onto mine, and she spoke quietly, passionately. “She’s my mentor, the wisest person I know, one of the two best leaders Equestria has ever had, and I love her like I love my own family. I’d do absolutely anything for her.”
It seemed like I could see Twilight’s heart laid bare before me, like her eyes really were windows into her soul. I felt like I was seeing something private and personal, something I shouldn’t see, like I’d opened a diary and read something embarrassing by mistake. Then I remembered the spell — it was two-way, after all — and I wondered just how much more than words it could convey, wondered if I really had ‘seen’ into her heart, and wondered if she’d meant for it to happen or just got carried away.
All that wondering left plenty of time for an awkward silence to develop, except somehow it didn’t. Instead she gave me a gentle smile, and finally added, “Does that answer your question?”
Whatever had occurred just then had been no mistake, and my throat wouldn’t work until I cleared it. “Yeah. Yes, it does.” I tore my eyes from her and made myself look where I was walking, so I could… you know, get back to walking. And I pounced upon the first bit of conversation I could come up with. “So, you… didn’t mention her name until now. Was there a reason for that?”
“Well, before, I was just… giving you a general overview, you know? I wasn’t talking about my personal relationship with her.”
“That makes sense. Um, how about Princess Luna? Are you friends too?”
“Oh, yes! Not to the same extent as Sunny, but I have a lot of respect for her, she’s always been willing to help me with my magic studies and history, and we share a number of interests, like astronomy. Plus I know it’s hard for the Princesses to make real friends, so I’ve tried to be there for them as much as I can. I know it’s not much, especially with so much of my time spent in Ponyville in recent years, but… Moonshine can seem harder to approach, especially since she likes to use an older dialect. I think it’s because of how she’s lived through so much. Maybe she feels like it helps keep all those memories from slipping away.”
I almost choked, trying not to laugh at the name when she said it. Applejack was one thing, but a princess who also shared a name with an alcoholic beverage seemed almost scandalous.
“So her name is Moonshine?”
“Her Royal Majesty Moonshine, Princess Crescent Lake, Lady of the Eternal Night, Champion of Harmony, etcetera…”
That was another surprise. Two of them, in fact, although I could see how a title like ‘Lady of the Eternal Night’ made sense if you didn’t twist it like the cartoon and its fans had. Half the planet would always be in darkness, after all, save for the stars and moon.
“Princess Crescent Lake?”
“Officially, yes. Crescent Lake is a small lumber and mining town. It’s on the opposite shore of a long lake tucked up against the east slope of the Celestial Reaches, in a valley between them and some hills farther east, all of it covered with great forests. The locals call the lake itself Lake Luna, after its shape — and the way the moon seems to perch atop the tallest peak before setting at certain times of year. Its reflection in the lake makes it look like it’s sinking into the calm water. It’s a beautiful place. And she likes ‘Luna’ a lot better than ‘Crescent’. It’s more musical.”
“So Celestia gets a whole mountain range, and Luna just gets a lake… and a title that fits her name better?”
Twilight seemed to be on the verge of pouting at me. “And the lands surrounding the lake. It’s not a small valley. Just remember, all of Equestria answers to them, not just those two territories. Beyond the hills and mountains in every direction are a large number of territories held by various dukes, barons, and so on. Some of the land on the west side of the Celestial Reaches belongs to Celestia as well, including a certain small town near the Everfree border.”
“Ponyville, right?”
“Except it’s called Ponyville, not Ponyville.”
I blinked at her a few times. “As far as I can tell, you just said ‘Ponyville’ twice.”
She grimaced. “Oh. Well, that’s… great. Splendid. Wonderful! No matter how I say it, I end up the ambassador from talking animal town.”
“Whoa, don’t get upset! It’s just a translation glitch. You know I don’t think of you like that, right?”
She rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. It’s just irritating — it’s working so well, and then it fails so spectacularly on a place that’s so important to me…”
“Well, what does the name mean to you? Maybe a definition would help, or knowing about the background, the etymology of it…?”
Twilight’s expression turned thoughtful. It was a puzzle now, a challenge, and she was looking for a solution instead of griping about the existence of the problem. She started talking, and after definitions proved unhelpful, she quickly got into the town’s background. The generation of earth ponies who founded the town, the Apple family among the first to till the land and plant their crops and orchards. The hard work, the sweat, the blood, and the tears that came with living somewhere that could hardly even be called a town yet, just a series of homesteads. The ponies who came after, whether to join their kin, to escape them, or simply looking for a quiet, simple life away from Canterlot’s politics or the crowds in other big cities. The first local weather team, paid for by the farmers themselves, not some subsidy from the crown. The tradition of Winter Wrap-up, with the farmers carefully clearing leftover snow from fallow fields while the pegasi worked with their planting schedules to help ensure the spring rainwater went where it was most needed, when it was needed. And even as unicorns moved in or were born among the gradually mixing population, the traditions held, and nobody could find fault with the pride those founding families took in their town’s success.
“It’s not Ponyville…” I finally said. “It’s Earth-Pony-ville.”
“Yes! That’s it! Except that you don’t need both words, we generally leave the first part off because they always go together, and when you see the second it’s just assumed… and for you there’s no such inherent association. Of course.” She facepalmed, her bag swinging from her elbow, and I chuckled.
“Were you shortening it while talking about earth ponies? Because I was hearing both parts.”
“I was. Yes, that explains the problem. I should’ve guessed when you weren’t dropping ‘soil’ from the name, despite using the short forms for unicorn and pegasus, but I assumed it was just the translator being thorough.”
“Soil? Not earth?”
She gave me a confused frown. “Be careful not to call someone a dirt person…”
“Let me guess. Old insult a pegasus or unicorn might use? I think we’re starting to figure out some of your translator’s limitations.”
Twilight nodded. “Too close to one, at least. You’re right. Taking words on their own when they have a lot of variations or different meanings, and then trying to put them together without context, would be a good way to confuse it. But it’s fascinating to see that in action!” She had clearly leapt back into eager sholar mode. “It’s hard to find a language this different from ours back home. Even the griffins have experienced some degree of cultural cross-pollination, to say nothing of the zebras, although the more isolationist tribes have always tried to keep their languages uncontaminated. But here, there are dozens of new languages that have never been influenced by Equestrian culture! I can’t wait for a good chance to study them and start making comparisons…”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “I have to keep reminding myself that you’re not the same,” not the cartoon character I’m familiar with, “but the way you act, some of the things you say and do, make it hard to remember that.”
She laughed and leaned against me as we walked, giving my waist a light squeeze. “That’s pretty impressive, actually, when you get past how creep—” She stumbled badly, letting out a startled cry. I reflexively tightened my arm around her as she did the same. She managed to avoid falling and quickly regained her balance.
“Whoah… You okay?” Despite the save, I started to wonder if I shouldn’t have had my arm around her. Maybe I’d thrown off her stride or distracted her. On the other hand, it fit our ‘tourist couple’ disguise, and I’d seen no sign that she was uncomfortable with it. She’d initiated a lot more physical contact than I had, too.
Twilight nodded and shot me a relieved smile. “Thanks for catching me.” My hooves are a lot closer together than usual. It’s surprisingly easy to trip myself if I’m not careful.
That put my doubts to rest. “I’m glad I’m not expected to learn to walk in high heels,” I muttered with a smirk. “I’d probably break something, falling all over the place. The subway station is just around the next corner. Hopefully we won’t have to stand in the car, it should be far enough past the evening rush. But either way, we’ll have a break from walking. Hmm, I should probably make sure the stores I’m thinking of will still be open…”
“How will you do that?”
“Look it up on my phone while we wait.”
“That really is a useful gadget.”
I patted my laptop tote bag under my arm. “They can do practically anything their larger cousins can do, if you can work it into the small, clumsy interface.”
“Really? Your computer and phone are that similar?”
“It’s just a matter of scale. The size of the package limits the complexity of the hardware, not to mention things like battery life. But every year we’ve managed to pack more into less. A few decades ago, a machine the size of a room couldn’t do what I can carry in my pocket today.”
“Hmm. I wonder how small we could make a crystal array… Perhaps if energy was supplied externally…”
“What’s a crystal array?”
“They’re used for storing permanent spells or groups of them, especially spells of greater complexity, and for making ‘enchanted’ objects. Though, technically, any imbued crystal qualifies as enchanted.” Seeing my curious look, she grinned and expanded on her summary.
“Certain crystalline structures are very good at storing intricate patterns of magic or large amounts of energy. Some high quality gems are prized for their ability to do both, though if you just need one or the other, there are better, and less expensive, choices. The range of applications is practically limitless. Energy requirements and safe dissipation of entropy are the main limiting factors, although the resilience of the crystals used is another important factor. Try to push too much energy through a flawed or weaker type of crystal and it can crack or shatter.” In a more subdued tone she added, “Sometimes rather violently.”
I noted a fleeting grimace, and made a guess as to the reason. “You’ve had that happen?”
Twilight sighed. “Way too many times. And not just when I was younger and my control wasn’t as good. Some of my recent work has involved power ranges that most unicorns simply can’t achieve, which is one reason there’s so much left to explore there. It comes with the territory, I suppose. You can’t advance knowledge in meaningful ways if you’re unwilling to accept the slightest amount of risk.”
“Hey, even life is never free of risk!” I put in, and she nodded enthusiastically.
“Exactly! And it would be so boring if it was. ‘The risk-free path leads only to stagnation.’”
“Well, there’s an old Chinese curse: ‘May you live in interesting times.’ I guess some people just prefer boring lives.”
We shared a laugh as I motioned toward the stairs leading down into the subway station. I was glad that I had kept my arm around her during our walk, and it wasn’t just because I was enjoying her company so much. I swear no romantic notions were involved. I just didn’t want her tumbling all the way down the steps if she tripped again. I made sure she was next to a handrail, too, just in case she needed to grab for it, but the descent was uneventful.