> Doing The Nasty > by Normal > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Not Chapter One > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's a damn shame." Twilight's head shot up, propelled with the combustible fluid known as surprise, though also known in some locales as confusion, startlement, or occasionally as simply Pinkie. That last place existed only in the realm of the enlightened whom were soon placed in the care of a secure mental facility. “Pinkie! Language! What if a foal heard you?” Twilight’s reprimand changed not a thing in Pinkie’s demeanor and she, the very party party pony of Ponyville, found the need to continue. “It’s a celestial damned shame,” Emphasis was put on the very swear itself this time before she continued, “Anyways, Twilight, it doesn’t look like anyone is watching. Much less any foals.” “Mith Twilight, I thought only bad ponieth thaid thothe wordth. Mith Pinkie ithn’t a bad pony, ith thhe?” Twilight tried her best to maintain her composure in front of the library full of impressionable young minds. A princess must maintain a calm like manner in even the most difficult moments. No matter how testing they were. “Sometimes, under extreme conditions, a grown up pony will find themselves saying things in frustration that they don’t mean. Now if you excuse me, I think myself and Miss Pie have something to discuss in the next room.” “Nopey mopey! I’m fine right here.” “Pinkie…” Twilight’s voice tapered off to a husky growl. In another setting perhaps it could have been considered sultry, quite sultry indeed. Perhaps the alternate setting was a broom closet or a even an attic. An attic filled with dust and cobwebs, like the basement entrance to the princess. That place was generally not, in the mind of most sane individuals, in front of youthful, not to mention impressionable, fillies and colts. Not unless they wanted three hot meals a day and entertainment to boot for seventy-five long years. Now thats some gang banging good times right there. Breathe in and breathe out, you do not want to end up on a list again, Twilight. Wan it, need it, and don't drop the soap. "Pinkie, I do believe that you misunderstand. That was not a question. Nor was it a suggestion. It was a-" "But the question mark?" "-An order. Bed room. Now." "Mith Twilight?" And suddenly a reality formed by Twilight's anger was shattered by what actually happened to be reality. The real reality. The one that could rediscover Twilight's entrances in one fell swoop. "OUT, OUT OUT!" Twilight pranced in place, nervousness emitting from behind. "But, Twilight,' Scootaloo, spunky lil' chicken winged filly that she was, would have nothing of it, "You promised was Twilight time. This is our time! Spend time with your marefriend later!" "Pinkie Pie is not my marefirend! She's just a friend!" "Oh, Twilight, that's not what you were saying last nig-" "Pinkie Pie, shut it before I shut it for you," Remember to breathe, Twilight, "Now, Scootaloo, sometime...sometimes...Sometimes promises get conflicted. sometimes a grown up pony finds themselves needing to reschedule certain aspects of their lives. This can be inconvenient for some and for that I am sorry. Perhaps-" "But you promised! we were here first! You can't just prance off right now! It's not fair!" Twilight practically jumped out of her skin as she felt something brush across her back almost tenderly. "Twi-Twi, somepony is quite...tense." Pinkie Pie paused, the tip of her tongue grasped between the her huge equine teeth, "I'm talking about you, of course!" "Pinkie Pie! Not now! None of this! Stop all of this, all of you!" "Mith Twilight? Ith your eye thuppothed to do that?" "Miss Twilight, I think you need to calm down...I don't think you're supposed to turn that color." Apple Bloom added. "I've seen my sister turned that color! She was so happy that I was helping her out! Miss Twilight must be really excited!" "Oh, Sweetie, if only you knew." Pinkie's hoof meandered aimlessly further across Twilight's back, the map long lost and long forgotten. "Twilight is soaked with excitement." "Oh, Pinkie, you are so raindom!" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle chorused. Only Apple Bloom started to look uncertain. And nothing grew like uncertainty under the conditions of Pink. "Guys...I'm not so sure...Maybe we should leave Pinkie Pie and Twilight alone. I'm sure we can find something to do back at the clubhouse..." "Yes!" No!" It was a showdown of the ages as Scootaloo's amd Twilight Sparkle's gazes met across the battlefield. both were more or less prepared for the battle upcoming but one was less prepared than other. Little was more dangerous in this world than a stubborn filly. "We. Are. Staying." "Scootaloo, I am an adult. You have to listen to me, or else." "What, you'll tell my parents? I'd like to see you try." "Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, I mean Sweetie Belle...leave. Now. I think I have asked enough times. You too Pinkie." "Mith-" "You too Twist! You more than anything!" "Twilight, I think you could use my help..." "No, Pinkie! No, no, no! Don't understand that?! Let me try again No! Nein! Nai! Non! Ne! Go help somepony else! I just need... some peace and quiet...that's right...all of this is..." Twilight's voice trailed off as a spring of hair bounced up, "Just, Pinkie, why don't you go see if any of our other friend's need help. This has been a stressful even- afternoon for me. Maybe you can take the crusaders home and check in on applejack?"