Can't make her real.
"Are you ready now, Rainbow?" Twilight asked again, returning to Dashie and starting her magic.
She simply nodded, as she closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable.
It seemed time slowed down as Twilight's horn approached Dashie's forehead. My mind began forcing random memories of us together. I can vividly remember the splashing of the bathtub from her bath times, before she showered herself. I can still taste our many failed attempts at baking and cooking in general. I still smell the outdoors from our times at the park, where she was able to spread her wings. There were so many memories, that I simply had to shut off my brain so that I could keep myself focused on Dashie.
A single tear ran down her left cheek, as I could see her eyes moving under her lids. Her mind was doing the same thing mine was, forcing our fondest memories all at once, for this would be the last time we ever saw one another.
Finally, Twilight's horn touched Dashie's forehead. There was a bright light, and when I could see again they were all gone. But something seemed… different. I looked around, and I realized that I was in my bedroom from my old house, before me and Dashie moved. It looked just like it did soon after my parents died… what happened? Had something more than just them taking Dashie away happened? I looked around and took note that I was in my old pajamas. I haven’t had these for a long time…
I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked just like I had before right before I found Dashie.
“Dashie? Are you there?” I called throughout the house. There were no signs of what she used to own or whatever items I had purchased while she was here…
I ran back into my room and picked up my phone. I speed-dialed number 1 and held the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?” came the old and familiar voice of the old operator.
“Hi, can you tell me the date real quick?” I asked somewhat hurriedly.
“It’s September 18th, why?”
“What’s the year?” I asked again.
“What is this, 20 Questions? It’s 2011, now what do you want?”
I just stood there, my mouth agape. 2011? This is the day after I found Dashie! What happened?
“Hey, buddy, are we done playing 20 Questions so I can get back to my job?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry, thank you for your time.” I hung up the phone.
I kept looking around. If this is the day after I found Dashie, then where am I, or where is she?
I walked outside and breathed in the old familiar air. I headed towards where the old park was. If this is just after I found Dashie, then that part should still be there, right?
Along the way, I decided to take a detour again, see if that box was there. It wasn’t. I continued down the road, eventually reaching the park. Everything was still intact as it was before she got her cutie mark.
I couldn’t think of anywhere she could have been, so I headed home. I guess when Twilight did that spell, it also sent back time… just not removing my memories.
I thought about all the times we had had, like when I helped her get bathed in the shower… wait… that’s not right…
I thought harder. No, I never helped her with the shower… Why is it becoming harder and harder to remember?
As I got back to my house, I kept trying to remember. I helped to take baths first… There was splashing… yeah, yeah, and lots of bubbles… wait, were there bubbles?
Panic started to rise in my chest. Why was it becoming more and more difficult to remember her? Was something happening?
I kept thinking and thinking, but the more I thought, the more confused I got. It started to get to the point where I couldn’t even remember what she looked like. Why couldn’t I remember my own daughter’s face?
Suddenly, it dawned on me. It hit me like a train going top speed down a mountain.
“No, that can’t be right…” I looked around some more to see if there was anything at all that could’ve been left behind. There was nothing. There weren’t even any cooking stains in the kitchen.
My heart started to beat faster and faster. No, it can’t be...
I tried once more to remember what she looked like, but I was drawing a complete blank. Tears started to well up in my eyes...
It… never… happened…
I never had a daughter, it was just a dream… a long, long, cruel dream.
I broke down. All of my love, wasted on a dream. I loved her more than anything, except my own parents, and it all never happened…
“Is this some kind of cruel joke to you?” I yelled at my ceiling. “HUH? IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF HUMOR?”
I just broke down and let the tears flow. None of it ever happened. All of my love went straight down the drain. I could never love anything again as much as I loved her. Why did the world have to be so cruel?
I eventually got up, went back to the bathroom and washed my face. I checked my watch and realized I was going to be late for work. I think… It’s been so long… well, not really, but that dream felt like it was actually 15 years. I don’t remember exactly what my work hours were here, but I think they started in about 30 minutes.
I got dressed in my uniform, went back to that damn shop, watched people come in get what they need, and leave. I had forgotten how dull of a job this was.
When my hours ended, I left, and decided to take that detour again in hopes that I might find another cardboard box with a filly Rainbow Dash. I didn’t.
Life went on like this for a few more weeks, I’d go to work, work, go back home on that detour, find nothing, and then feel so depressed that I’d go to sleep right then. One day fate decided to play a cruel joke.
I found a cardboard box one day, in about the same area that I found Dashie in. I ran over to it, my heart beating faster than it had since it had in that dream when Princess Celestia was standing outside my door. I opened up the box and… there was nothing. My heart sunk. It was too good to be true.
When I got home that evening, I felt so depressed, I thought about ending it. My life fell into the same dull routine once again, after I thought I had gotten out of it. Fate doesn’t want me to be happy, then why should I give it more than it needs?
I thought about it. I ultimately decided I shouldn’t. I’m not going to find another filly Rainbow Dash to take care of for 15 years, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find something else to love.
Life continued as it used to be for another few months, and eventually New Years came around. I pledged to let go of Dashie and to try to find something to enjoy myself with.
When I woke up that morning, the company I work for decided to make me work on New Years Day, so I ended up going in. No one came in that day. On the way home, I decided to just go on that trail one more time, for old time’s sake. Along the way, I was gazing at the sky, remembering for one last time what it looked like when Dashie had done her Sonic Rainboom. Something caught the corner of my eye.
It was a cardboard box.
I walked over to it, expecting to see some kind of trash.
What was in it was priceless.
It was a filly Rainbow Dash.
She was even sleeping like she was when I had found her.
She woke up when I started reaching down to her. She looked up at me with curiosity.
Slowly, I started to reach down towards her.
I was about to touch her, and she closed her eyes and started reaching out towards me.
Then I woke up.
I had my arm outstretched in my bed, trying to touch Dashie for one last time.
I just sat there, in bed for a moment, probably looking like an idiot.
Finally, I got out of bed and headed into the kitchen. I looked for the basement door and found it.
Silently, I headed downstairs and went to my storage closet. In it was a piece of rope.
I grabbed it and headed outside.
I decided to go to the park, because that’s where I had my best memory of Dashie.
When I got there, I looked for the tree we would sit under all the time. After finding it, I walked slowly, holding the rope out in my hand.
I slowly tied it, formed the S shape, tied the the extra rope around, looped the other side through the hole that was made, pulled the rest through until the small hole in between the ropes was gone, and pulled the hole until it was large enough.
I took the other side of the rope, swung it around to give it some momentum and threw it up onto the tree. Once it was wrapped around, I pulled it back down and tied a simple knot around the bench nearby, making sure the other side of the rope was high enough.
I looked back over my town one more time, wanting to remember where she grew up in.
Finally, I climbed up the tree, climbed over to the branch and jumped into the noose.
I immediately started to lose oxygen. I saw my life - my ACTUAL life - flashing before my eyes, my parents, my high school friends, getting the call from the police that my parents were dead, everything. I remembered everything that I could from the show about Rainbow Dash in hopes that I would remember her, wherever I went when I died.
I could feel myself running out of breath, but I didn’t care. Fate had had it’s fun with me, but no more. I didn’t care. I let the rest of my oxygen run out, and the last thing I remember was my whole body going limp.