3 days to go until the royal Canterlot wedding, everything is ready to go for the big day; the hall is decorated, the caterers are at the ready and the public wait in anticipation. However, one thing is missing... The Groom!
Wedding bells ring for the royal marriage between princess Cadance and her husband-to-be Shining Armour. Though even in Equestria, the groom has to enjoy a night out with his friends before the big day, this was certainly no exception in Shining's case. Him and his crew take to the streets of Canterlot for a night they'll never forget. Though through a sudden turn of events, the stallions find themselves in strange lands, with no idea how they got there. This is the story set in an alternate reality before the finale of season 2. A possible canon (unlikely though) to the series shows a night to remember turn into a day they'll want to forget.
In the distant horizon, the sun protruded a thin golden arch over the peaks of the mountains. The more the sun rose, the more of the land that became illuminated. The landscape was cold and empty, nothing but occasional waves of sand animated the surroundings, as well as reducing the sense of dead silence. The rising sun promised the chillingly cold air would soon become a sweltering heat wave, punishing any living soul that was not adequately prepared for it. Though the land bore no distinguishing features which could help identify its exact location; one thing was for sure, this was not Canterlot. At first glances, one would think this place would be void of life of any kind and normally, this would be the case, but not today. Three figures lay dormant, half buried under the merciless sand, as if it had tried to engulf them.
Another hour passed, nothing had changed in the scenery but the position of the sun in the sky, though not very noticeably. As the sun rose fully over the horizon, a strong burst of wind swept through the sand, creating a wave that closely resembled the ocean shore. As the gust blew over the figures, the sand that was covering them was hastily wafted away, leaving them now completely exposed to the elements, namely the sun's heavy rays and blinding brightness. This change seemed ineffective on the ponies current state as they still laid motionless on the ground, until eventually, there was a twitch, followed by slightly broader movement, leading to incomprehensible mumbling, then finally the pony shot bolt upright, screaming in shock. This was an orange/cream pegasus with a blue mane, featuring a blue shield and lightning bolt cutiemark that adjourned his flank. The pony sat still, not fully conscious yet and trying to focus his vision into something that resembled something other that a blur. His pulse beat heavy in his chest, but beside this, only other thing he could feel was a sharp pain that enveloped the right side of his back. Once he could fully realise that he did in fact exist, his attention now turned to his current location, where was he? The vague void he currently resided would baffle even the most adept geographers, so for the likes of Flash Sentry here, it might as well have been another universe. Lost and seemingly alone, naturally the feeling of panic began to set in. Hyperventilating heavily, he span in place desperately searching for some signs of other life, to no avail. He rose to all four hooves, sprinting around the immediate area until a solution just fell right in front of him. Several minutes passed and all hope began to disintegrate; tears filling his eyes. Just as he reached the last of his energy, a large red lump appeared at his feet, causing him to be launched forward until he came to a crash landing, on his face
Flash dug his head out of the sand to try and identify the red lump, though it now actually seemed to be moving slightly as it rose out of the sand. A wide grin edged it's way across Flash's face, it was another pony! A red pony with a dirty orange mane and a cutiemark of a large apple.
"Excuse me! Are you alright?", Flash attempted to apologise for essentially kicking him, however when he met the pony's gaze, a feeling of dread sat deep in his stomach.
"Nope!" The red pony grunted before lunging itself at Flash, clearly much larger and stronger than him.
Flash's dread was now full blown terror as he desperately tried to free himself from the other stallion's grasp, "what are you doing?" He cried out.
"You think you can attack me when I'm out cold? You thought wrong boy!" His grip tightening around Flash to a lethal degree. As his life faded away, Flash managed to gurgle out his appeal,
"I didn't attack you! I'm l-lost just l-like you, and if you k-kill me, you'll be o-out here alone!" The stallion released his grip on Flash, who promptly gasped for air.
Flash was the one to break the now lingering awkward silence between the two, "so, do you have any idea why we might be out here? Mr...",
"the names Big Macintosh, you can call me Mac for short".
Flash was somewhat relieved to hear the name of the stallion who nearly ended his life, "so Mac, Do you remember anything from last night?",
Mac bluntly responded "nope",
Flash thought hard about a follow up question, "well, do you remember anything from the night before?",
Mac responded in the same tone of voice "only that I joined a group of stallions at a bar to let the groom know about his menu options for his wedding. I decided to buy a drink while I was there, took a sip, then woke up here".
This was new to Flash, but seemed to unlock a series of previous memories of his own, "wait! Shining Armour's party? I was there! We were there for his pre wedding party! Strange, my memories of this also end when I took a sip from a drink from the bar!". Big Mac, only half listening to Flash, scanned the proximity around him, then spotted a strange pink strap sticking out of the ground. He approached the strap, bit down on it and effortlessly pulled it out of the sand to reveal a fluffy orange bag designed for mares. After little examination, Mac turned back to Flash,
"err Flash, I think I've found your bag",
Flash hastily attempted to disprove ownership of the bag,"what? No! That's not mine!", Mac just glared at Flash as he turned the bag around to display Flash's cutiemark boasted across the strap,
"pfft, lots of soldiers have a cutiemark like that! Doesn't prove that it's mine!",
Mac's glare deepened, opening the outside flap to show the bold, labelled text on the inside which read 'if lost, please return to Mummy's little soldier a.k.a Flash 'Flashykins' Sentry'.
Flash surrendered his efforts, "fine! It's my bag! Don't judge me!",
Mac stifled his laughter as he tried to reassure the pegasus, "actually Flashykins, I was going to see if what's inside could help shed some light on our situation!". The two gather around the bag as it was stripped of all its contents, which were as follows: 16 empty bottles of Applejack Daniels, 1 pair of broken hoofcuffs, one green and one pink fluffy neck scarf, one torn cowboy hat, one cross country train ticket, one fight club medal with and address scribbled on it, but most noticeably, a photograph of the two of them, along with Shining Armour who seemed to be getting chased by some ponies.
Big Mac, stared down at the scattered items, but was drawn to the torn hat, "this looks like my sister's, was Applejack with us last night? What happened to her?",
It was Flash's turn to disregard Mac as he stared at the picture, "Shining Armour was with us last night! Where is he now? Do you think he's around here somewhere?",
Mac just stared at something over Flash's shoulder, "Eeyup!".
Flash quickly swivelled around to spot a pony staggering towards them. "ZOMBIE!", Flash made an attempt to run, but Mac just back-hoofed him in the head, aiding him to realise this was in fact Shining Armour here with them.
Both ponies rushed towards their new companion, before bombarding him with various questions;
"how did we get here?" "What happened last night?" "Is my sister here?" "Are we lost?".
Shining just kept his head held low, in clear signals of a hangover "lost? You could say that. You want to know where we are?". The other two were silenced immediately as their gaze was met by Shining's, "I'm getting married in three days, and we're in Saddle, Bucking, Arabia!"
"Listen up soldiers, here are your orders!" Shining Armour barking commands at the small group of soldiers that stood before him, each one attentive to his presence and hanging off his every word. Shining himself was dressed proudly in a well pressed, fine silk officer's uniform that was laced with gold patterning that centred around his glowing chest piece, depicting his cutiemark. They were located in the Canterlot barracks, on a slightly chilly evening with the sun in its final stretch as it descends past the horizon. Shining knew he had to be crystal clear with the troops in order to truly prepare them for what was to come. He strolled down the line of the 6 other soldiers, sternly locking eye contact with each one of them; once he was satisfied they were at maximum attentiveness, he continued with his commands. "Now this is going to be a tough mission, and I'm afraid I can't promise you're all going to come home in one piece! Nevertheless, I have to lay down a few rules that you MUST follow: firstly, we stick together at ALL times, no separation! Secondly, we are a team, I expect you all to help each other out if the need arises! Thirdly, all food and drink must be rationed evenly! Finally, and most importantly... LET'S GET ROYALLY BUCKED UP! This is my big night and I'm gonna make sure we all enjoy it!"
The soldiers erupted into a roar of cheers and applause, watching on as Shining swooned them all out the castle gates for a 'memorable' night. But first, there was a certain orange pegasus they had to pick up.
------------------
Flash was blooming with excitement, this was his first night out with the troops and he had no idea what the night would entail. He sat at his bedside, his pink and orange saddle bag lay central with its main flap wide open and was surrounded by a number of various items that may or may not be brought with him on what he was certain would be a memorable night. His mother was downstairs preparing his outfit and Flash could hear her disputing with his father from muffled words through the flooring, most likely about whether or not they should allow him to go. They were very protective, his parents, even the fact they permitted him to become a guardspony was a blessing in his books. The items sprawled out on his bed were not those which one would expect to have on a stallions night out, in fact they were not even there by his own accord, most the items here were things that his mother insisted he bring for his own 'protection', such as a list of adresses to mail incase of an emergency, or a second layer incase it got too cold. He knew the time his friends were arriving was fast approaching, so he just stuffed the objects into his bag and moved himself to his mirror to begin combing his stiff blue mane.
The muffled arguments downstairs ceased and was replaced by the sound of hoofsteps heading up towards his room. At the sound of this, Flash hurriedly ended his mane styling session and dived to his seat, slumping his posture to give off the impression he had been waiting there for ages.
"Flashykins! Mummy has finished your big outfit for the night, but... are you sure this is the theme the other soldiers are wearing too?" His mum inquired suspiciously
"Sure, Shining told me himself that this was the theme!" Flash responded, with a hint of self doubt in his voice
His mum's face gave off a 'whatever you say' expression, "well anyway, did you pack all the things I gave you?"
"Yes mum, yes I did."
His protective mother persisted, "are you sure you have that list of adresses I gave you?"
"Gosh muuuum! Yes I do! Please!" Flash clearly growing impatient at the interrogation type atmosphere in the room. A large sounding chariot could be heard pulling up outside the house.
A now more empathetic expression was worn on his mother's face, "I'm sorry Flashykins, it's not that I don't trust you, if anything, it's more that I don't trust your friends, please don't let them get you into trouble tonight"
A feeling of blatant shock could be seen on Flash's person at what she had just said, "Mum please! These are MY friends no less! Not only that, these are royal Canterlot guards, hoof picked by princess Celestia herself! I think it's fair to say that these stallions know how to compose themselves in public!
"Calling sergeant faggot! SERGEANT FAGGOT!" a burst of group laughter was clearly audible outside the open bedroom window from the Captain of the royal guard's remark here.
"I guess YOUR friends are here then..." she uttered coldly to her son, who was now awkwardly shifting around in place, failing to make eye contact with her,
"Don't worry mum, I promise I'll keep them under control"
The older mare was already halfway out the room, holding no merit to Flash's words, "I hope so Flashykins, I hope so"
Once he was sure his mother had truly vacated the area, he donned his newly ironed outfit and made for the door himself; however upon reaching it, something caught his peripheral vision and he immediately halted. A photograph, a certain purple unicorn he'd seen about a year ago. He appraoached it with a concerned look, "everything I do tonight, I do it for you my love.". He then swiftly exited the room.
When Flash grouped with the others, he was met with the welcome he'd become accustomed to... mocking laughter at his expense, though the reason here was quite obvious; apparently the theme for outfits of the night was not to dress up as the opposite gender, he thought to himself as he stood there in a fine mare's frock, hair styled extravagantly and make up that was so finely applied that it would put Rarity to shame. Strangely though, the other stallions didn't seem exploit this mistake for too long, as there were more important things afoot.
"Here, drink this" Shining bluntly splurted out, forcing a bottle into Flash's hoof
Flash cautiously took a filly sized sip from it, before quickly spitting it back out in disgust at the drink's strength, "eeuurgh! What the absolute Buck is this?"
"This is one of 16 bottles of pure 65% alcohol Applejack Daniels! And you know what? You're gonna carry them in that gay little hoofbag you have there!
"16 bottles?" Flash asked, seeming somewhat unsurprised, "can I just ask you Captain, how drunk are you?"
"...Yes..." Shining replied, after a fair amount of thought. He then turned his attention to their chariot's hired driver, (who already looked like he wanted to kill himself), "oh Fondlesworth, do be a deary and take us to the bar, 'forgotten nights', please", he delivered in an overly posh accent.
"My name is NOT Fondlesworth!" The driver gritted as he reluctantly headed to the city centre.
Shining's attention was now fully back with the group, "gentleponies, and of course ..gentlemares (to Flash), now that we are all here, I would like to make a toast". The whole group gathered round the pony of honour and raised their drinks, except for Flash. "Whatever happens tonight, lets just make sure it's one we can talk about for a long time. What happens in Canterlot, stays in Canterlot...that means don't tell Cadance!". The stallions all shared a laugh together as they headed to their destination.
-----------Earlier-----------
"Are ya sure you know where you're going? Canterlot is a mighty big place!" Applejack asked Big Mac as they stood toether at the Ponyville train station. The station itself was scarce of ponies, most likely due to the fact the sun was on its descent to make way for Luna's rising moon, most ponies were likely at home at this time. Big Mac stood slumped, his eyelids hung low and there was an impatient tapping from his right forehoof, everything about his body language symbolised how very little he wanted to do what he was doing. Applejack was aware of this but she also knew that it was important that the Groom personally chooses what is on offer at the wedding in terms of food, as the caterers for the event, that meant this responsibility fell to them. "Are you sure ya don't want me to come with ya?"
"Nope, the type of night these stallions will be on today is absolutely no place for a mare!" He plainly replied. Applejack was about to object, but she dread to think about what sort of things stallions get up to for these sorts of things.
Several minutes passed of fairly light small talk between them, mainly about either the farm or what type of shenanigans Applejack and her friends have been up to in the last year. A sense of growing impatience and boredom was mutual between the siblings and there was an instance of relief when they saw the train arriving in the distance, though they tried to hide it from each other. As the train pulled into the stop, there were a noticeably larger amount of guards within the carriages of the train, ushering every pony out to make way for the departures. This didn't sit right with Applejack, she'd assumed it was just extra security for the wedding, but even for that, this was a bit excessive. The growing feeling of anxiety for Applejack just made her feel helpless to the situation; she wanted to aid her brother, but he wouldn't let her.
"Are ya 100% sure that ya don't want me to tag along?" She asked again,
"Nope, ah told ya, I'll be fine!" The tone in Mac's voice beginning to increase,
"Sorry brother, I'm just worried is all..."
Mac shot her an understanding and reassuring grin, "listen AJ, this is a quick and simple job, I go up to Canterlot, ask his 'highness' what he wants to eat, then I'm back here before you know it... I promise".
Applejack watched on as her brother boarded the train, which made no attempt to wait for any late-comers, and pulled of with a large cloud of steam in its trail.
The train came to a grinding halt at the Canterlot station, Mac noticed the platform's residents recoil at what must have been the horrifying shreik this action must have produced. It had been a quiet, yet uncomfortable journey for the red stallion, mostly spent gazing out into the country scenery and contemplating the possible eventualities of what lay ahead. Canterlot was a vibrant, bustling city, so for a simple farm pony who'd spent most of his life out in rural surroundings, the prospect of this highly urban experience made him slightly on edge. The carriage he was in was mostly occupied by guards, which he noticed every once in a while were staring him down suspiciously, though he knew the best response to this was to not respond at all, the last thing he wanted to do tonight was to get into trouble, as this would only extend his stay here. The carriage doors opened implying that it was time to get off; as he attempted to get up, there was some minimal resistance due to the fact his muscles were stiff from maintaining the same pose for the duration of his one and a half hour train ride up here. Just before leaving, he double and triple checked that he had the list of menu choices on him before disembarking the train. Upon setting foot onto the platform's floor, he was immediately struck by the intensity of the city's colours and lighting, made even more imposing by the contrast of the dark night sky. Mac became almost light headed by this sight, it was certainly a change to the rows of apple trees as far as the eye could see. He gathered his thoughts by focusing solely on his main objective, then after several deep breaths to steady his frayed nerves, he willfully pressed forward to find the stallion of the night,
"Ok, let's just get this over with!"
----------------------------------------
"Err, guys? Are you sure about this?", Flash questioned while sat perched in a makeshift sled, tied by rope to the carriage which itself was positioned atop a fairly steep hill.
"Gosh Flash, stop being such a filly! I literally cannot even f-fath-fathom what could possibly go wrong with this!", claimed the rather intoxicated Shining Armour, "the rest of us all did it before we picked you up!" This was followed by quiet sniggering from the rest of the troops.
"Well, if you say so. But still, can't somepony else just go again before me so I have time to consider it?" Pleaded Flash.
"Ok sure, that sounds perfectly reasonabl... NOW FONDLESWORTH!"
The driver sighed to himself, then set the chariot forward slightly before letting gravity do the rest.
Flash's coltish screams just further fueled the stallions' laughter, watching on while Flash flapped his wings with futility as an attempt to slow their increasing speed. Fast approaching the base of the hill, the driver prepared to hit the brakes...and did. While the chariot itself came to a reasonably safe halt, the same could not be said for Flash, who was launched over the chariot at a speed too fast to be able to stabalise himself with his wings, though he did try. CRASH!
Howls of pain were what allowed the group to locate Flash who then gathered in a semi circle around the mangled pegasus.
"Yo Flash, you alright?"
The orange pegasus, now wishing he'd stayed at home, slowly sat up, the pain in his back almost unbearable, "ack! I think I've sprained my wing! Somepony help me!
Shining Armour pushed his way through the group to see Flash, with a genuine look of concern on his face,
"Oh my God Flash!... you best not have crushed the whiskey bottles when you landed there!"
Flash couldn't believe what he'd just heard... then again, he sort of could. "Forget the bucking bottles! Help me!"
Shining was already directing the troops back to the chariot, barely giving the injured Flash the time of day, "Sure, sure, I'll have Fondlesworth bandage that hoof of yours up or whatever. Now get your Flank back to the chariot, you've already held us up enough when you came up with the idea to sled down the hill!"
"WHAT?"
"Besides, when we get there, some alcohol should help dull the pain!"
Flash was slightly flattered that Shining actually made an effort to help him here, "thanks, but it's not an open wound, I don't think pouring alcohol on it will stop the pain though"
Shining was now practically dragging Flash back to the group, "who said anything about pouring it on yourself? That'd be a waste!"
---------------------------------------------
Wandering through the busy streets had almost made Big Macintosh forget why he was there in the first place. As far as he could see there were rows upon rows of fancy restaurants and high end clothes shops, not to mention the condescending looks from the general populous towards this country, Ponyville stallion. Everytime he asked for directions to the bar, the answer was usually capped of with 'you must be new around here' or 'I can see how all this would be confusing to somepony like you', which only infuriated Big Mac further; true, he wasn't the brightest tool in the shed, but surely even the most intelligent ponies must get lost in a new city for them. Though he was aware that not bringing Applejack was the right thing to do, there was still some element of regret in it.
Minutes turned into hours, but eventually Mac found himself infront of the place he was looking for. He looked up at the bold neon sign that announced the name of the place, 'forgotten nights'. This building was clearly aimed at the young stallions and mares generation, with architecture so modern, it made the surrounding buildings look like sweet apple acres by comparison. Judging by the noise that was coming from inside, it was evident that the place was packed, and Mac mentally built himself up for what would surely be a long and arduous search through dense crowds to find the stallion he was after... this was not the case.
"Woooooooooooooooo! I wanna see some plots tonight!" As a stroke of fortune for Mac, he was immediately exposed to Shining Armour atop the club's DJ table, screaming at the top of his lungs and resisting the blue maned, sunglasses wearing unicorn as she desperately tried to remove him from her work station. Mac sighed to himself and made his way towards the front, using his advanced strength to push ponies aside with ease. ---------------- "Oh come on baby, just gimme one kiss at least!" A random party stallion was making his advances on Flash, who once again largely regretted the decision to dress like a mare tonight,
"No! I'm flattered that you're interested in me, but I have to tell you, I'm a stallion, not a mare!"
"Oh don't worry, I know" the romantic bluntly replied.
Flash just stood there, mouth agape before slowly backing away, "I'm sorry, but there is no way I will ever get with another stallion, under ANY circumstances!". He then turned around and tried to disappear into the crowd. ----------------- "Are you Shining Armour?" Mac asked impatiently, a question which was barely even acknowledged by its recipient. Mac was at breaking point with snobbish ponies who thought they were too good for him, so with one hoof he grabbed Shining round the neck and dragged him to the bar, where the music wasn't quite so audibly destructive.
"Look bro, I appreciate the offer and all, but I don't swing that way!" Shining insisted once he was released by Mac
"You listen to me you bucking basket case! I have gone through hell to get to you tonight, now you better listen to me or else your wedding reception is gonna be in the intensive care unit!" Mac's words here were almost sobering to Shining... almost.
"Ok look, I'm just trying to have a good time, I'm getting married within the week, so... this might be my last chance. Do you maybe want a drink?" There was some self pity in Shining's tone here, which certainly took effect on Mac, who felt slight sympathy towards him and began to compose himself,
"No, it's alright, I don't really want to drink tonight, the only reason I came here tonight was to ask you what you wanted to be served at your wedding, I'm part of the catering department"
Shining didn't pause to think for long before giving his answer, "I don't really mind, we'll just have whatever".
All sympathy from Big Mac dissolved as quickly as his will not to destroy the pony he was talking to, every fibre of his being wanted to openly end the life of Shining, before returning to Ponyville and doing the same for Applejack. However this again would only extend his stay here, and that was a fate worse than death, so in the end, he chose the next best thing,
"You know what? I think I'll have that drink now" Mac stated, holding back the fire in his chest.
"Great! I knew you'd come around big guy!" Shining Noticed Flash emerge from the crowd out the corner of his eye, "Flash, go get a couple of drinks for me and my friend here, and get yourself one while you're at it!"
Flash seemed surprisingly on board for this request, "oh yeah, great idea! But first, do you know where my bag is? I need to get something from it."
Shining's look of disgust made it seem that Flash's act of selfishness was on par with a murder, "fine! I think it's in the chariot somewhere, but hurry up with the drinks, I haven't drank in over 5 minutes!"
Flash made himself scarce to hunt for his bag, and for the second time this evening, Mac found himself engaged in awkward small talk with another pony. Shining and Mac's conversation topic mostly just revolved around the weather or family life, which made Shining want that drink more and more. When they approached the far end of the bar, they saw Flash hunched over three half filled glasses, with a quizzical look on his face. Shining barely even thanked him before grabbing two of the glasses for himself and Mac.
"Wait! I can't remember who's drink is who's!" Flash protested
"Well they're all the same right?" Mac questioned, he was usually very precarious when it came to alcohol
"Yeah..."
Shining interrupted the conversation to make his own, "looks like it's just the three of us then, with everypony else disappearing despite my whole 'stick together speech, so I guess this toast will just be between us then, now grab a drink!"
Mac and Flash took a glass each and raised them in the air, waiting for Shining to make the call.
"To friendship, and beautiful memories... cheers" "Cheers" "Cheers"
The three slapped their drinks together, sending some of the contained liquid from one's glass into the others', then downed them in one. Their last memory of the night.
"You had ONE BUCKING JOB, Flash!" Shining was practically on top of Flash as he scolded the trembling pegasus for the costly incompetence that had lead them to nearly the other side of the planet. "Just buy the three of us a round of drinks! Actually you know what, this is all my fault! I was the one who asked somepony as useless as you to actually do something!"
"I'm sorry! I looked away for like five seconds, I didn't know somepony would try and drug us! I mean, it's a mistake anypony could make right?" It was a meaningless response from Flash, but it was worth a try, at least to suspend his imminent death a few moments longer.
"No Flash, only you! Only you could go from buying some drinks, to winding up in another country with aboslutely no memory of the last day and two nights! Oh and to add to it all, you sucked me and Mac into your orbit of disaster! I mean the poor guy was only there to ask what I wanted to eat for bucks sake... and you let him get drugged... you're one sick bucker! Isn't he Mac?"
Shining at last turned his menacing glare away from Flash, shifting his head towards a more distant and unresponsive Big Macintosh, who was motionless, still staring down at the hat they found in Flash's bag. He knew that Applejack wasn't with him while he was in Canterlot, but then again there was a large portion of time which is a blank to him, who's to say that she didn't join him within this time? After all, this certainly looked like her hat. Only after some time did he realise the other two were both staring at him, as if they were expecting something from him. Unsure of what to do, he gave his default answer when faced with uncertainty, "Oh, uhm... eeyup".
Satisfied enough, Shining continued his onslaught of Flash, "There, you see Flash? We're here because of you, this is all from your mistake! What have you got to say for yourself?"
Flash looked around himself rapidly, trying to find some sort of inspiration that could help him formulate a response, then noticed the whiskey bottles scattered out on the sand, "well it could have happened to any of us, we were all pretty drunk right? I know I was really knocking them back that night!"
"Knocking them back? You drank nothing but apple juice all night!"
"Ok look, I messed up, I'm sorry! But I've learnt something that might help us to get out of this situation!"
Shining was generally taken by Flash's words here, he hated him more than anything right now but he was more than willing to give the pegasus a chance, so long as it would provide a way to get back home. Interested, he took his weight off Flash and sat back attentively, trying to hide the excitement he felt rising from inside him. "Ok Flash, I'll give you one chance, tell me how we're gonna get back home"
Flash had just regained his composure and sat up to meet Shining's level, his posture was firm and there was a noticable tone of self pride in his voice. "We find ourselves in a pretty bad situation now right? But I know that what we have to do is to love and tolerate each other, and most importantly we have to use the magic of friendship together, then I'm certain that everything will work out in the end" ...
"I'LL BUCKING KILL YOU!" The infuriated Shining Armour launched himself back onto the pegasus and pressed as hard as he could on his neck; so for the second time this morning, Flash found himself being choked to death, his whole 'magic of friendship' solution clearly not going down well with the grown stallion. As Shining strangled Flash, he felt a solid and tough hoof press into his back, before he was cast off the wimpering pegasus and sent flying back several feet. When he looked back to see what caused this, he saw Mac, now positioned between him and his victim.
Mac shot a look at Flash, then at Shining, the sort of look that would turn Medusa herself to stone. "Alright, I've had enough of this horse crap! What are we going to gain here by killing each other? Absolutely nothing! Now I suggest that you stop fighting and calm down so we can work out what to do!"
Shining acknowledged Mac but was still staring daggers at Flash, "Fine!". Flash stayed grateful for his life but knew it was best to stay quiet for a while. Shining placed himself next to the emptied bag and the others gathered around. After some inspection, he then ordered the items in a way for each of them to see. "Ok, let's think about what we know so far; all our memories of that night end when we had that drink from the bar, correct?"
"Right" "Eeyup"
Shining continued, "I see, so from what we remember before that drink, and from looking at these items, we now know where the empty bottles came from. We also know why Flash's face has some traces of make up on it and why his right wing is bandaged up. Now this leads me to believe that the rest of the items from the bag may hold some clue as to what actually happened and why we are here. If we want answers, we have to find out exactly where and how we found each of these things".
Mac and Flash stared at each other stunned, they would have thought their main aim here was far more obvious. Flash eventually worked up the confidence to communicate with Shining again, "err Shining, don't you think we have more pressing matters than treasure hunting? Like getting home?
Shining was preparing to jump at Flash again, but noticed that Mac was moving in, seeming like he actually agreed with Flash. He relaxed his body language to something less confrontational and explained the problem thought baited breath. "You guys don't get it do you? You don't fully comprehend the gravity of this situation. We have no idea how much chaos we've caused since getting drugged, and judging by the hoofcuffs here, I'm guessing that it was pretty bad! You seem to forget that I'm going to be a prince in three days! It's not going to look good for the public if one of their new rulers is an ex convict! Do you understand now?"
Shining's audience here seemed somewhat unwilling to sympathise with his needs, he knew he had to up his game here to win them over. "Oh and this doesn't just affect me, you two are in on this as well! I'm pretty sure you don't want you mother finding out about this do you ... Flashykins?"
"No, I guess not".
"And Mac, from what I can see, you want to find out if a certain somepony was with us, your sister was it?"
"Eeyup"
Shining relaxed slightly, he knew he had won here but was aware of the large task that now lay infront of them, "then it's settled, we need to find out exactly what happened and get it covered up before the wedding in three days! We can't go home until we do!"
The three shared an understanding nod amongst themselves, but needed now to create a more immediate objective. Mac looked at the surrounding landscape, mostly comprised of sandy dunes and large mountains on the horizon, "hey Shining, you seemed to know what country we're in when we woke up earlier right?"
"Yeah?"
Do you happen to know what direction from here a town or city is?"
"Yeah, I think I'd be able to find one using the mountains as a guide"
"Good because we really need to get out of this sun as soon as possible. And honestly, I'm hungry as a horse.
----------------------------------------
Evidently, princess Celestia spared no effort with her royal duty today as the alimighty sun beat down hard on the three stallions this morning, its rays almost roasting their flesh to a medium-rare consistency. The trio marched on in single file, with Shining leading the group followed by Big Mac then, lagging behind, was Flash, his orange and pink bag hanging lazily off his left side to avoid contact with his injured right wing. All three had their heads drooped low with their ears laying flat, showing obvious signs of dehydration and hunger, not to mention the depression they were experiencing from their current situation. Every once in a while, Shining would stare up at the distant mountains infront of them; he'd nearly convinced himself that this was aiding in locating some form of accommodation to take shelter or an eating establishment for nourishment, but deep down he knew that this was just to make it seem to the others that he knew where he was going and he'd hope to find a settlement out of luck.
There was only one thing on Mac's mind, despite the famishing hunger crippling his stomach and the roaring sun causing his skin to become as red as his coat, he couldn't stop thinking about the welfare of his sister. He wanted to believe this was just a copy of the hat, that he must have got it mixed up somewhere at some point the day before, but he couldn't, that nagging instinct that ran in the family forced him to assume the worst. It wasn't that he thought that Applejack couldn't handle herself in a mess, it's just that it's his role as her older brother to concern himself with her safety at all times, and destroy anything or anyone that could damage this. As he watched Shining, it became more and more obvious, this embarrassment of a unicorn had no idea where he was going and would happily walk them until death if it meant protecting his pride, but Mac refused to call him up on it, because if there was any chance he could help Mac to find Applejack, the farm pony had to give him some exception for mistake.
Flash traped several paces behind the others. He could feel a dull burst of pain in his wing every time his heart beat, but this was superceded by the stinging of the sand particles shooting into his eyes and the molten feeling surface they walked on. As the youngest of the stallions, he was the only one who hadn't grown solid hooves yet, therefore the fiery touch of the sand was most noticeable for him. He let his mind wander, mostly contemplating the various different ways he could die out in the wilderness and weighing up the severity of each one, then concluding that none of them were as bad as what his mother would do to him when he got home, making it that much more important to stay with the other two to cover this whole mess up.
What was actually an hour felt like they had been walking for days, but something caught Shining's eye. His eyes shot open and he stopped suddenly, causing the following ponies to come crashing into his hind quarter, "There! I told you I'd find one!". When Flash and Mac shakily rose back up, they were greeted by a grinning Shining Armour, posing as if giving a presentation and gesturing towards something in the distance. After rubbing the irritating sand out of their eyes, they could now realise what it was that Shining intended them to see; on old worn down but populated looking desert town in the distance. Shining blocked their view the the town, wearing a smirk of self pride, "my friends, breakfast is served!".
As they made their way down, the question of whether the town was inhabited was answered, but not in the best way. They noticed, from the dusty windows of each house, a set of eyes staring back down at them, never deterring from their point of focus which did not seem to be all three of them, but only the red farm pony. Flash who was stiff with anxiety, sheepishly leaned over to Mac, "they seem to be looking at you, do you have any idea what you did to these people?"
"Nope" replied Mac, mentally preparing himself for what could be a large scale fight here.
Shining carefully edged the door open, peeking around it to see a desk and chair, mostly concealed by dark shadows. He tip-toed inside, eventually followed by the other two and neared the desk. "Hello, is somepony there?"
"Ah, my people were wondering when you three would return...", a gruff and sinister sounding voice spoke up from behind the chair. Once he'd swiveled himself around, he was now visible to the trio. He was an older looking stallion with a more stocky build. He wore a grey patterned piece of cloth around his neck and his coat was of a cream texture. "It seems we have a lot to discuss...", he said directly to Big Mac.
Mac thought it was best to prevent any further trouble before it started so made his way up to the desk, "look, I don't want any trouble. I was in a bad shape yesterday and I can't remember anything! So for whatever I did here, I am sorry".
"You're sorry..." the stallion rose from his seat and confronted Mac, getting close enough that they were almost touching muzzles. "You're sorry? Why would you be sorry? You are the hero who fought off that plague of the Arabian mafia single-hoofed! This town and all of it's ponies are forever in debt to you, Sir Big of Macintosh!" Then proceeded to embrace Mac into a strong hug.
Shining and Flash just watched on at Mac, who stood frozen and unable to take in what had just happened. Once he'd got his head around the situation, he wormed his way out of the hug and made eye contact with the stallion. "Soooo, you're in my debt are you?"
"Yes of course sir! Just ask, and it's yours!"
Mac turned back to his stunned companions and gave an assuring nod before facing the stallion once again, "well... I guess I wouldn't mind something to eat".
Sat at the head of the banquet filled table, Mac filled his face with the large assortment of delicacies put in front of him, his hunger eliminating any wish of table courtesy as he ploughed through his meal. Numerous villagers accumulated around Mac as he ate, watching and admiring his every move, it was fair to say he'd made quite a name for himself in this town. Despite the many staring eyes on him, Mac's attention was still exclusively locked on his meal, almost to the point where he forgot why he was there in the first place. While he would have preferred an apple based meal, Mac was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth so feasted until his heart's content. This was not a luxury that was bestowed on his companions, who sat at the opposite end of the table, cautiously looking down at the bowl of gruel acting as their breakfast. To add to the pain of seeing Mac's lavish food compared to their own, Flash and Shining had to endure the excruciating awkwardness that resided between them due to their earlier confrontation.
"So errr... Shining... nice weather out here isn't it?" Spoke Flash, hoping to ease some tension between them.
Shining just shot an empty glare back at him, "why is it that every time you speak, I want to throw up?"
Flash thought it over, "well... maybe it's because you're overcome with happiness when I'm with you? Or maybe because that food is giving you an upset belly?"
Shining sighed while looking around for something to use as a weapon, "Flash... shit bricks like you are the reason the fate of Equestria is left down to six pieces of magical jewellery rather than the actual army!"
Meanwhile at the other end of the table, the conversation was far more light hearted, mostly comprised of the townsfolk stating how amazing Mac was while fighting off the mafia, then Mac trying to respond as modestly as possible through mouthfuls of food and also having no idea what actually happened. Though ideally Mac would be back at the farm right now going about his every day life, he had to admit that being showered with the admiration of a whole town of ponies was a decent alternative, especially after the horrendous experiences he'd suffered upon waking up that morning. The red stallion's head was processing such high levels of information that he barely noticed Shining and Flash at the far end of the table, both wearing looks that suggested an expectation for Mac to have shared some of the culinary bounty with them, but this was not to be.
After finishing his meal and licking the plate clean, obliterating any chance for the other two stallions to receive any leftover scraps, Mac observed various details in the room, or to put it literally, the LACK of detail around the room, it looked like it had been completely ransacked. At first thoughts, Mac mentally proposed that the damage here may have been caused by the three of them when they first arrived there the day before in some form of drunken rage, but quickly wrote off this prospect, surely due to the fact that the townsfolk wouldn't throw him a celebratory meal and thank him for SAVING the town if this was the case.
The town mayor stomped his hooves, prompting two ponies to remove Mac's empty dishes from the table, then rose from his seat to approach Big Mac, "I do hope the meal was to your satisfaction?"
Mac grinned, "Eeyup! My friends and I are most grateful for your high generosity, right guys?", finally acknowledging his companions as he gestured towards them, both still with nearly full dishes of gruel infront of them. If ponies had fingers, Shining would have most likely used the middle one to demonstrate his distaste for Mac's statement. Mac continued, "Well I was anyway. This is a nice little town you all have here, but I was just looking around and... if you don't mind me asking... what's with all the damages around the place?"
The mayor sighed deeply to himself, scanning the surrounding area, "That's just the thing Sir Macintosh, now you see the impact your tremendous feat of bravery has had for my people. The damages you see around you, along with the lack of possessions we have is the result of many years of torment from the Arabian mafia that you have now expelled from our home. Our feud with them has endured over one thousand years in which they have constantly ravaged our town to the point of desperation, demanding unlawful taxation of our goods. Their motives have never been clear, all we know is that they follow the orders of their leader, who's identity is unknown, but from what we hear, he is currently visiting the capital city, which may turn sour when he finds out what happened here yesterday. It's a very long history we have with them, but I'm more than happy to tell you about it if you'd like?"
Shining shot up from his seat, "NO! I mean... that's very kind of you, but you see, we have a very short time limit to get home and..."
"Eeyup!" Interrupted Mac, "I'd love to hear about your history!"
"Ah, a pony of both muscle and mind, a truly noble one you are Sir Big of Macintosh!" Beamed the mayor
Shining rubbed his aching head with his hooves as he slumped back into his chair
"Oh cheer up Shining" prompted Flash, "it could be interesting, and who doesn't like a good origin story?"
"Flash... why don't you go outside and play in a fire?" Shining didn't have the energy to even look up while responding to Flash's words.
Meanwhile, the mayor returned to his seated position. Once comfortable, he took a deep breath and cleared his throat, "are we all listening? The whole story happened something like this..." -------------------------------------------------------- "Over one thousand years ago, just before Princess Celestia and Luna took the throne of Equestria, this town was formed as nothing more than a trading post just outside the Arabian capital city, in fact, back then the capital city was only just slightly larger than OUR town is today. One of my ancestors, Dusty Shroud, was the leader of the group who constructed the trading post, therefore naturally assumed control over it and prepared everything necessary to start up a prosperous and efficient business. There was one problem however, one that perhaps should have been thought out before commencing this project, they didn't actually have anything to trade with! A large sense of humiliation grew within Dusty, but he was certainly a resourceful pony, so hastily designed a plan to find a solution to this problem. With the exception of a few trusted ponies who would stay at the post with Dusty, the rest of the workers were assorted into small groups, then sent out in different directions of the desert landscape, with the goal of finding an item of significant value to base the business around."
"Just under a year has passed since the expedition groups were sent out into the merciless dunes of Saddle Arabia. While waiting for their return, the remaining ponies at the post grew desperate. Money and food were becoming scarce, while more and more of the ponies were falling ill, making it all that more difficult for Dusty to retain hope that the groups hadn't perished in the harsh lands. Then at last, his perseverance had brought him a reward; of the six groups that ventured out, one finally returned and they seemed to have brought something with them. Dusty was curious at best, what they had brought were large saddlebags of these small black seeds. Nopony knew what exactly these small seeds would grow into, but they had to take what they could get even when it would be difficult to sell an object when they didn't know what it was. They found no luck in planting these seeds in sand so decided to try them out as a culinary dish, and with that, they found success. Now that everything was in place, it was time for the next step, to find a buyer."
"Unsurprisingly, the seeds weren't selling too well in the capital, not too many citizens were willing to purchase a strange product with no foreseeable use and the trading post was only just making enough money to keep it running. This is where THEY came in. The Arabian mafia, or as they are officially known, the 'Creators of Havoc And Overall Sinfulness'. It was never realised why, but this mafia seemed to have a perculiar interest in the seeds and mass bought a large stock of them, which greatly funded the trading post and allowed the business to get up and running. As the years went on, Dusty realised that over ninety percent of their income was coming from the mafia, so eventually a deal was met between the two parties which stated a fixed flow of bits would be paid to the post as well as exemption from any crime that the mafia may commit on it, so long as the mafia kept receiving a satisfactory dosage of the seeds every week, as a form of tax. Dusty questioned why the mafia had such an interest in the seeds but it was never made clear, it was only said that their boss needed them as part of a plan he had in over in central Equestria.
"The deal had truly benefitted the post, with the excess profit they were making, they were able to construct many different residential buildings for the workers to stay in, but the most effective investment was the construction of an underground tunnel system that enabled the workers to retrieve the seeds from the source out in the desert far more quickly as well as staying out of the surface's harsh conditions. The success of the post was also recognised in the capital, attracting more and more citizens out of the city and over to the post with the hopes of work and a better way of life. The post had now officially made the transformation into a fully fledged town."
"About two hundred years down the line, with the town under the new leadership of my later ancestor, Sandy Shroud, the townsfolk had completely renovated the area, building restaurants, market areas and finally the town hall for Sandy to reside in. Everything was perfect. Too perfect. When you live out here you come to expect that good things must always come at a price, and this is exactly what happened. The mafia's orders for the seeds had increased significantly during the town's renovation, but it was getting to the point where the workers couldn't supply the number of the seeds that was being demanded, causing the mafia's anger to grow until an ultimatum was formed; the town had one week to provide at least three thousand of the seeds, or the place would be levelled."
"Just like Dusty, Sandy too was a resourceful pony, however, in his youth and inexperience, Sandy believed there was no weight in the mafia's threat so prepared everypony for an all out fight. This was the most costly mistake in the history of our town. All trade efforts were halted to make ready to defend the town, public buildings were torn down to create barricades using the materials and were even used to fashion weapons. On paper, this defensive fortification would have been unbreakable... but... no amount of preparation could have readied them for what the mafia had in store. HE was with them. The ring leader of the mafia was with them, the big boss. The town... it... it didn't stand a chance; never before had the townsponies witnessed such raw power! This leader was demonstrating power that could even rival both Celestia and Luna combined! They were torn apart in mere minutes; the town reduced to nothing more than rubble and ashes. Things didn't stop here though, they were not satisfied with destroyed homes and ruined lives, no, they had to send a more powerful message. Beaten within an inch of his life, Sandy was dragged through the smouldering streets and up to the balcony of his own town hall. The remaining survivors were rounded up and gathered in the main square, including Sandy's own wife and foal. Sandy was displayed, perched over the balcony and surrounded by gang members. Finally, to extinguish all embers of the town's spirit... Sandy was executed... for all to see."
"A small group of officers oversaw leadership of the town until Sandy's foal, Dune Shroud, was old enough to take power, but their way of life could never recover after the devastation. Even when Dune took control, between paying for food and water, sending teams to retrieve seeds and constant raids by the mafia, he didn't have the bits nor the resources to fully rebuild the town. So the town underwent a great depression that has lasted hundreds more years up to today." --------------------------------------------- "It's a dark past we've been through... but that's all over with now, thanks to you Sir Macintosh" the Mayor uncontrollably embracing Mac in a strong hug, to the roar of approval from the emphatic townsponies.
"Yeah that's all very tragic I'm sure," Shining making his way up and forcibly separating the hug, attempting to finally obtain the mayor's full attention, "but what we really need to know is what happened YESTERDAY! As you should be aware by now, we have no memory of what happened and we would be most appreciative if you could enlighten us. And make it the short version!"
The mayor re composed himself, seeming fairly offended by Shining's insensitivity but realising himself that he may have got a bit carried away while walking down memory lane there. "Yes... err of course. The short story is that the mafia were here on one of their weekly raids, then Sir Macintosh arrived and started kicking flank! It truly was an amazing feat of strength and bravery! Once he'd sent them running, we knew they wouldn't be back any time soon."
"And about what time was that at?"
"This was just before sun down, you all looked exhausted; it seemed like you had just come from the capital." Claimed the mayor.
Shining took a second to process this information, "we know all about what Mac was doing now, what do you remember about me or Flash over there?"
The mayor frowned deeply, shifting his eyes to view the whimpering pegasus, then back to Shining. "You two? Pathetic!"
Shining felt a sharp tension ring from his neck down his spine; as the captain of Equestria's royal guard, this was the first time he had ever been referred to as 'pathetic', he doubted this was true for Flash however. "Please! All the details you can tell us will help greatly! We need all the information we can get!"
"Well, while Sir Macintosh was heroically fighting off the intruders, you felt it fit to lay back and neck down bottle after bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage, while cheering support for THE MAFIA because you 'always support the underdogs', all before vomiting your guts up over the memorial plaque for our founding leader Dusty Shroud, our ONLY possession from the creation of our town over one thousand years ago. Then the pegasus? Screaming at the top of his lungs about 'finally becoming a true stallion' while sobbing like a newborn foal!" The mayor's words were as cold as they were spiteful.
"Hey! You don't know that I was crying!" Objected Flash, turning a new shade of red with the embarrassment of being in such a state,
"Oh really? The makeup that was streaming down your face with the tears says otherwise." The monotonous tone in his voice sending Flash spiralling back into awkward silence. The mayor returned his attention to Shining, "You were carrying some sort of mare's hoofbag which contained the drinks you were slaughtering, though I did notice something strange as well; both Sir Macintosh and the wimpy pegasus wear wearing a fluffy neck scarf each"
Shining cross examined this fact with the items they woke up with that morning, removing the two scarves that were located inside Flash's bag, "Are these scarves and the bag the one's you were talking about?"
The mayor scanned the items, "I'd assume so, unless you guys happen to have a numerous stash of feminine scarves on you?" He once again turned to Flash, "though I guess I wouldn't put it passed you".
Shining returned the items to the bag, "I know it's a long shot, but, would you happen to have any idea where we might have got these scarves from?"
"Are you being serious.... actually, as it goes I may have a thought as to where you got them from. From what I hear from the town's salesponies who visit the capital, there is only one place that gives away scarves like that. I don't know the name of the place, but if you find out, that'd be the best next step on your quest".
Shining smiled for the first real time that morning, "thank you so much! I just have one more question; what happened after all the fighting?"
The mayor now wore a puzzled look, "That's the bit I didn't understand! Once Sir Macintosh finished with the mafia, all three of you took off into the desert before we had the chance to thank him properly! We didn't see you again until this morning".
"That must be where we fell asleep! You've been a huge help for us!" Shining signalled to Mac and Flash that it was time to leave, "come on guys, I know where to go now"
"To get to the capital, you'll want to head out in the opposite direction to where you arrived here from this morning" prompted the mayor
"Thank you for everything you've done for us" beamed Mac
"No Sir Macintosh, you have liberated us from an age old depression, it is my people who thank YOU" the mayor reciprocating Mac's courtesy
Just as the three were on their way out, they were halted by a mayor whos mood had almost completely contrasted, "oh! One more thing!"
"Yes?"
"With the obvious exception of Sir Macintosh; after the disrespect you showed us yesterday, if you ever set hoof in our town again, you will not be met with the same hospitality you were today"
Shining thought back to the meal he'd been served this morning and smirked, "good... that may be an improvement then. Farewell".
