> Looking for an Angel > by Noman > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Angels are all Around us > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANGELS Part 1: When you look for an Angel Written by Noman “Mommy, what is an Angel?” I looked up at my mother, waiting for her answer. My mother looked down at me happily. “Oh, what a wonderful question. An Angel is a very special kind of pony. One who you never expect to see, but is always watching you, very protectively. You can be friends with an Angel. Your Angel will be there when you are feeling sad and lonely, and also when you are very happy. Your Angel will fly by your side, holding you tightly, and never letting you go. You can fall in love with an Angel, too! Your Angel will be there whenever you need him. Your Angel's embrace will be as soft as silk, and as warm as a sunny day. If you love your Angel and your Angel loves you, then your love will last forever. You can marry your Angel, too. Even though you two will go through hard times, your love will overcome it all. You will make a family, and spend every day loving your Angel and your children. But some day your Angel will leave you. Even Angels have places they have to go someday, no matter how badly you don’t want them to leave. You won't follow your Angel though, not yet. Not until the time is right. But some day you will become an Angel too. And you will fly with your Angel forever.” That was how it all began, from that moment forth I started looking for my Angel. I was just a small filly at that time, but it affected me a lot more than anypony else expected. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= It was my first day of school. I held onto my mom’s hoof as we walked through the door. I had already met some of the ponies here, from play dates or adventures to the park. A few ponies waved at me and I waved back. It was then that I noticed him. He was a small white colt, sitting alone in the corner of the room. He didn’t have his parents with him. I felt bad for the colt, he must be very lonely. I left the comfort of my mother’s presence and walked towards him. I then said in a very calm tone, “Hey you, what is your name?” The colt looked around confused, then looked into my eyes. “You mean me..?” I giggled and walked over to him, then said, “Yes you. What is your name? I’m Ginger Snaps!” He smiled and looked down shyly, then replied, “My name is Ezekael, Ezekael Camdon.” “Do you want to be my friend Ezzy?” I sat down in front of him and watched his face turn to that of shock. He replied even quieter than before, saying, “Y-You want to be my friend..?” I started giggling again, then I nodded. Although he was very odd, he seemed like he could be a good friend. I then cooed, “Of course, you seem nice and I like your mane!” He looked at me with a goofy smile, then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be your friend!” From that moment on, me and Ezekael, or Ezzy as I liked to call him, were best friends. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= “Come on Ezzy, you are slowing me down!” I looked back at my friend as I ran down the dirt path to our tree house. “W-Wait up Ginger! You’re too fast!” Ezzy flapped his wings and tried to catch up with me. He was fast in the air, but not as fast as me. “Fine, I’ll slow down for you, but only because you bought us candy.” I slowed down until he caught up with me, then continued at his pace. “Thanks Ginger, so what is the plan for today?” He smiled at me with that goofy smile he always had. It was probably the reason that I was his only friend, although his albinism probably affected his popularity as well. “Today we will look for my Angel!” I squealed in delight before jumping in the air, flying over the now-frowning Ezzy. He replied afterwards, “But we do that every day, can’t we go play instead?” Ezzy’s plead for change was met by a glare from me. “All you want to do is play, play, play. Fine, if you want to go play then go ahead while I look for my Angel!” I puffed my chest up and kept walking, leaving behind Ezzy. After a few seconds of shock he replied, “Wait up Ginger!” He resumed his position at my side as a small smile grew on my face, and I kept on walking, victoriously, towards the treehouse. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= Ezzy was with me when I received the bad news. I was glad he was there with me, I wouldn’t be sane if he wasn’t. I had no idea my mom was sick, she never showed it. I guess she didn’t want me to worry. Her death surprised us all, we later found out she had been fighting off lung cancer for two years, maybe hoping she would see me find my Angel. I was just sixteen years old, but that moment I lost a part of my innocence. I never thought that my mom’s time was so limited. I was too busy working my cookie stand at that time and didn’t talk to her much. It was then that I remembered how frail our lives were. I think Ezzy realized that too, because he was always trying to take care of me. I also realized what my Ezzy meant to my mom. He was like a son to her. Or something else, I just remember my mom would always ask about him. Ezzy was asked to be a pole bearer. No matter how nervous he was, he still did it. I guess he thought he owed it to my mom. I was crying the whole time, which should be obvious. What surprised me was that Ezzy didn’t shed a tear around me. I had heard him crying in his apartment when I came to pick him up for the funeral, but when he came out he wasn’t crying at all. He was always by my side, holding me when I needed a shoulder to cry onto or hugging me when I felt lonely. The time I needed him most was when they began lowering my mom into her grave. I dove for the grave and would have gone down with my mom too if he didn’t grab me and pull me into a hug. What really surprised me was what he did next. He kissed me, probably to distract me from my sadness. I was about to slap him before I remembered that was the first time kissing a pony. He had saved his first kiss for so long, and wasted it on me, just to stop me from freaking out. Instead of hitting him I just hugged him, just hugged him and cried. I never will regret not hitting him. There was plenty of time to hit him in the future anyways. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= I walked across the stage in front of the Ponyville Schoolhouse in my black graduation gown and hat. After making it across the stage, I took my diploma in my mouth. After I had the rolled-up piece of paper in my mouth, I walked down the steps of the stage and took my seat once again. That was when I saw Ezzy walk across the stage. He was sporting the same gown as me, although he didn’t have the pink chord that was proudly displayed on my left side. I received it from being in the school choir, while Ezzy stayed away from all social interactions with others, aside from me of course. After he received his diploma he hurried down the steps and took the seat beside me. There we sat, watching our classmates cross the stage, some greeted with cheers from the masses while others only received cheers from excited family members. Nopony cheered for Ezzy, mainly because nopony really noticed him. That, and the fact that he had no family members. He was an orphan, his parents having given him away when they noticed his albinism. I didn’t cheer either, because I didn’t want to be laughed at by my classmates. He didn’t seem to mind, though. He still had that goofy smile, and I giggled when he collapsed by my side and whispered, “That had to be the hardest thing I have done in all my years in school.” “You are weak Ezzy, you need to stallion up!” I grinned and punched him in the shoulder, then laughed when he held it in pain. Ezzy whined quietly, “That hurt…” I then replied, “See, you are weak! Eh, but you are still my best friend.” I watched his frown turn into a calm smile, one that he only wore when he was called a friend. It was then that the last pony crossed the stage and took their seat. Following him taking his seat, Miss Cherilee spoke out to all the ponies “Congratulations to Ponyville High’s class of 1005!” We all cheered, even Ezzy did. All the pegasi took to the air and threw their hats towards the clouds, the unicorns sent them flying with magic, and us earth ponies chucked them as hard as we could towards the blue sky. Ezzy didn’t move though, and stood at my side with his hat on. He was grinning at me, seeing my hat fly higher than any other earth pony’s did. This had to be the happiest day of my life, and I was glad that I was able to spend it with my friend. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= Ezzy surprised me again when he asked me on a date. I decided to go on the date with him, not because I liked him but because he had never been on a date before, and probably needed the positive motivation. We had a good time, he took me to the movies. What we watched was weird though, some movie called “My Little Human, American Fillies.” It was about something called a human coming into our world through a magical mirror, looking for some special gem or crown. I didn’t really pay attention to it, since the show was made for little fillies. He seemed to enjoy it though, so I let him have his fun. After the movie we went to get pizza. He bought a delicious four-cheese pizza for us. I ate half of it on my own. Normally, I wouldn’t eat so much on a date but Ezzy was my friend, so I didn’t need to seem attractive to him. I did let him hold my hoof, though. He seemed to enjoy it more than I expected. Overall, the date was fun. It wasn’t the best date I had gone on, but at least he didn’t try sticking his tongue down my throat like that pony, snowflake. On the way home I tripped and hurt my hoof. I could have walked, but of course Ezzy overreacted and made me get on his back. Not that I didn’t mind though. I was happy I didn’t have to walk the three miles home. What I wasn’t ready for was when he took off. By now he was a good flyer, and could easily carry me. It was the first time I had ever flown, so I wasn’t used to the feeling at first. Later on I started enjoying the flight, holding his sides so I didn’t fall off. I loved the feeling of flying with him. When we got home he asked if he could kiss me. I was about to say no before he jumped forward and kissed me, while wrapping his hooves around me. I raised my hoof to hit him but then I got this feeling that drew me closer to him. It was like a spark, the one that you read about in those lame romance novels. It stole my breath, and caused me to relax into his grip. Slowly, I returned the kiss and closed my eyes. When we broke the kiss I hugged him and ran inside, then closed the door behind me without saying another word. Through the window I could see him leave, flying into the sky towards the orphanage. After he was out of sight I leaned against the wall and whispered one word, one word that described the whole date. “Wow…” =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= Ezzy and I had been dating for ten months when he took me to the beach. We had been planning the trip for the past two weeks, and we were finally going. He came by my house and gave me a quick kiss before picking up my bags. Every kiss he gave me had that spark, and it always took my breath away. The train ride was uneventful, aside from the whining filly in the seat in front of me. It gave me a headache, but once again didn’t seem to bother Ezzy. He just smiled at the filly with that goofy smile of his, and she began to giggle at his silly expression. Maybe that smile did have a purpose. After the train ride Ezzy waved goodbye to the filly and flew me to our hotel room. That night he took me out to a fancy restaurant on the beach. He was acting weird, weirder than usual. I didn’t mind though, in fact I was starting to think that his awkwardness was kind of cute. He kept on looking at his watch, and then back up at me. I just held his hooves, I guessed he was afraid that I would order an expensive meal or something. I made sure to order cheap, just some garlic cheese bread and water to drink. Once our food came out it was joined by a group of musicians. I tilted my head as they surrounded me and began to play some classical music. It was then that Ezzy stood up, then got down on one hoof. It was then that it all hit me, that it all came back together. Ezzy had always been watching me, had been there for me when I was happy, and when I was sad. He was there when I was lonely, and I loved him. I really did love him… And now he was proposing to me. He then spoke towards me. “Ginger… I always have loved you. We have spent our entire life together, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anypony else… You have been there for me when I needed you, so I want to be there for you when you need me. Ginger Snaps, will you marry me..?” He looked into my eyes and I froze. I wasn’t looking into the eyes of my friend, of my coltfriend, or my possible fiancé. I was looking into the eyes of my Angel… I had been looking for him my entire life and he had been there the entire time. I then fell back on my haunches in front of him, and stared into his eyes. “Yes…. Yes, I will.” And that is how the rest of my life began, one with my Angel, my dear Ezzy… =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= Whining. That’s all I heard. The sobbing and whining of a little filly, of my little filly. I finally opened my eyes and looked over at Ezzy. He was holding my hoof, with a comforting smile on his face. Then I looked forward at the nurse in front of me. She was holding a small yellow filly in a blanket and, when she saw me looking at her, gave me my child. I smiled down at my filly, who had stopped whining. Ezzy tightened his grip on my hoof as he too looked down at our child. I then whispered quietly, “She’s beautiful… She looks like you.”' He looked down at our child, then looked back up at me. He then leaned close to me kissed me. Once again I felt the spark, and once again he stole my breath away. My Angel and I have a child… A little filly… And it is ours… =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= The next ten years of our life passed by in a snap. Our daughter, Sugarheart, grew and learned the same things we did. Although me and Ezzy got in fights every once in a while, we always made up. He always took my breath away and made me feel so special. That’s why his heart attack took me off guard. When I found out he had been taken to the hospital from his work, I left my cookie stand behind and ran as fast as I could towards the hospital. Nothing stood in my way. I knocked over ponies, ran through open houses, and made my way as fast as I could to my Angel. I ran through the door of the hospital, my eyes now full of tears, and stopped at the front desk. “W-What room is Ezekael Camdon in? I-I’m his wife.” The mare stood up and started walking, then turned to me and recited in a comforting tone, “This way miss.” She began walking down the corridors of the hospital and stopped at a door halfway down the hallway, room 25B. She then spoke to me again, saying “Please be quiet miss, he may be asleep and he needs to rest.” I nodded and walked into the room. That was when I saw him, he was laying on a hospital bed. My love had an IV in his hoof, an oxygen mask on his muzzle, and heart rate sensors on his chest and forehead. I was extremely happy to hear the repetitive beep sound coming out of the machine beside him. I slowly made my way to his side and took his hoof in mine, now trying to hold back my tears. I whispered to him, ever so quietly. “I-I’m here my angel… D-Don’t worry…” It was then that his eyes opened and he looked at me, his crimson red eyes peering into mine. He spoke in a hushed tone, “I l-love you Ginger…” I wasn’t able to hold my tears back anymore, so I buried my face in his chest and sobbed, still holding his hoof. I whispered quietly in between sobs, “I love y-you too Ezzy… P-Please don’t leave me…” He smiled at me through his oxygen mask, then cooed, “Angels never leave forever, remember? You will see me again someday, but wait until it is time to join me. Take care of our child…” He closed his eyes and the repetitive beeping sound turned into a single uninterrupted tone. The sound crushed my heart, and marked the end of my time with my Angel. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= My husband, my Angel, Ezekael, died a year ago. My daughter and I were sitting beside the stone that marked Ezzy’s grave. She read the tombstone, then looked up at me. She whispered quietly, “Mommy, what is an Angel?” I smiled down at her and ruffled her mane. I then spoke my next words very carefully, “I asked the same question when I was little, my daughter. My mother told me this when I was little, so now I’ll tell you. An angel is a very special kind of pony. One who you never expect to see, but is always watching you, very protectively. You can be friends with an angel. Your angel will be there when you are happy, and there when you are feeling sad. Your angel will fly by your side, holding you tightly, and never letting you go. You can fall in love with an angel too. Your angel will kiss you every day and every night, with your angel's lips tasting like nectar to a bee. Your angel's embrace will be as soft as silk, and as warm as the sand on the beach. If you love your angel and your angel loves you, then your love will last forever. You can marry your angel, too. Even though you two will go through hard times, your love will overcome it all. But some day your angel will leave you. Even angels have places they have to go someday, no matter how badly you don’t want them to leave. You won't follow your angel though, not yet. Not until the time is right. But some day you will become an angel too. And you will fly with your angel forever.” =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= That night I was laying down in the king sized bed me and Ezzy used to share. I looked over at the assorted empty medicine bottles around me. They were full before a few hours ago. I could feel myself getting lighter, seeming to fade away from this world. I stayed silent, not wanting to wake up my daughter in the room over. I was on my way to being with my Angel, and all it took was to swallow a few bottles of those colorful pills. “Ezzy, dear… I’m coming.” The room began to spin wildly. I could no longer figure out which way was up and which was down. My vision was getting blurry, but I felt comfort in the fading reality. Each second I faded away from this realm, I was getting closer to my love. Finally, the spinning stopped. I opened my eyes and looked around. It felt like I was in the clouds, although I felt like I had no body. I turned around and looked down. It was then that I could see everything; my child sleeping, my lifeless body lying there. Then Sugar stood up and began walking towards my room. I saw her run to my body and shake it, then she ran to get help. This is going to scar her, you know that Ginger.” I froze in place, recognizing the voice. I turned around and faced an upset-looking Ezzy staring me down. He shook his head, then spoke in a disappointed tone, “It isn’t your time Ginger. Why did you do that? It was foolish of you.” His harsh words dug into me deep. I felt like crying, but for some reason I couldn’t. I spoke quietly, my voice quivering, “Because I missed you… I… I don’t want to live without you…” I jumped into his hooves, and held myself against him. He returned the hug, then spoke in a much calmer tone, “I miss you and Sugar too, but you need to wait. Remember, I’m always here with you. I may not have my body, but I’ll stay right here.” Ezzy put a hoof to my chest, over my heart, and smiled a bit. I felt my feelings swell again, like when he asked me to marry him, and I pulled him into a loving kiss. I had forgotten what his lips felt like but the knowledge came flooding over me, along with his love. I closed my eyes and pulled him deeper into the kiss, relishing the delicious taste of his lips. The kiss ended abruptly, though, when Ezzy pushed me back. I fell off of the edge of the cloud and began to fall towards the ground. I heard him yell towards me as I fell, “Stay strong my love, I’ll always be there for you.” Then it all went black. =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= I awoke to the repetitive ‘beep’ of a heart rate machine. There were IVs attached to me, and I had an oxygen mask strapped to my face. My eyes flew open as I felt some fur rub against mine, and I looked into the eyes of my daughter. Her eyes were red from crying, but she was smiling. “H-Hey mommy, are y-you alright..?” said the filly who was now resting on the bed beside me. I managed to nod towards her before she hugged my neck. I felt her tears on my chest, and tried my best to wrap my forelegs around her. My whole body felt numb, and it hurt to move but it was worth it to be able to comfort my daughter. I whispered to her in a quiet tone, “I saw daddy… He misses you…” =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= I was lying in a hospital bed, many machines attached to me. It had been twenty-five years since I nearly died, and I was now on my death bed once again. I heard that repetitive beeping sound, the sound of nurses walking around me, and the sound of my daughter’s crying. She was being comforted by a stallion at her side, her coltfriend. I knew he would take care of her when she needed him most, just like how I needed Ezzy when I lost my mother. I reached up and put a hoof to her cheek, then spoke to her the best that I could. “It’ll be alright, my dear. I’ll always be watching over you, and so will your Angel.” I then smiled at the stallion at her side, then spoke to him. “Take care of her for me.” The stallion nodded, tears peeking from the corners of his eyes. He spoke softly, comfortingly, “I will Miss Camdon.” I then laid my head back and closed my eyes. The sound of the beeping, the sound of the nurses and the sound of my daughter’s crying faded away into complete silence… =>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<= I open my eyes and look around at the cloudy area. It looks the same as it did before. Everything around me is whiter than clouds. The sky and the ground are all this bright white color, just like last time. The only difference is that I was not on the edge of the clouds, but instead it seems like the cloud floor goes on for eternity. I look around and then I freeze. My mother is standing there, in a white robe with a golden ring floating over her head. She walks towards me as I stare at her in complete shock. A stallion that I recognized as my father is standing beside her. They both take me into their arms and hold me, embrace me. I look at my parents and whisper in a quiet tone, “I missed you both…” They look at each other, then look at me. My mom is the first to speak up. “We missed you too, but there is somepony else who missed you even more than us.” They step to the side and expose a pure white stallion standing there. He too is adorned in a white robe and a golden halo. I stare at him for a few seconds before I jump into his hooves. He falls back with me in his arms, and land on the pure white ground. I press my muzzle against his and kiss him, shivering as I feel the spark I missed for so many years. His lips feel like silk, and his embrace still feels as warm as the sun’s rays. From then on we live here in this realm, together. Soon our child joins us, and her children, and their children in turn. Nothing can separate me and Ezzy, though. All those years ago my mother was right. If you love your angel and your angel loves you, then your love lasts last forever, and when you die, you will fly with your Angel, because not even death can separate true love.