Never Loved
“But that was a long time ago. Now we’re just living happily together, right shining?” Cadence said. Shining smiled and nodded his head as he ate one of the tea shops little cakes. He and Cadence had just finished telling Twilight and the others the story of how they met and became a couple at the academy.
While Rarity and Fluttershy sat with rapped attention, Raibow Dash had been bored out of her mind and Pinky was too busy lecturing the shop owners on how to throw a proper party, much to the workers dismay.
“That is simply the most MARVELOUS story I have ever heard!” said Rarity. “But I must ask you both… did you truly never have another pony you liked before you met each other? There wasn’t a filly or foal you had a crush on in your early days?”
“Not a one.” Shining replied.
“Well…” Cadence said, her voice hushed and her eyes looking sadly away.
“Wait there was another guy?” Shining asked.
“Yes. We split up shortly before we got together actually. It was… more than a little heartbreaking.”
“Oh, tell us Cadence. What’s the story behind this one?” Rarity said.
Cadence now had everyone’s full attention. They knew about her happy ever after with Shining, but now they wanted to hear about the person who could be so cruel as to break poor Cadence’s heart. She looked around the table, a sad look on her face as she sighed. “There… isn’t much to tell to be honest. It was so… sudden. To tell you the truth I haven’t gotten over it yet.”
“But Cadence… you’re married to my brother! Are you saying you still love somepony else?”
“Yeah Cadence… what are you trying to say?” Shining said. He wasn’t even trying to hide the animosity in his voice.
“Don’t get me wrong! I love shining. Truly I do! What I mean is… the way the two of us ended… it left so many questions unanswered. I was so confused, still am. If I saw him now I’m not sure how I would feel or what I would do. I don’t know whether I’d hug him, blast him with questions, or hit him with my hoof.”
“I can think of what I’D do…” said her ever so jealous husband.
“Please don’t start Shining. I guess I’ll tell you a little bit about him. You see his name was Glowing Radiance but you’d never catch anyone calling him that. He hated that name and insisted that everyone call him Rade. He was a light blue unicorn with short spiky navy blue hair and a pretty big tail that he kept tied at the base. He had a weird tendency to always keep his ears down. Whenever you asked why he always said that it was for fun, but I never saw what was so much fun about it. He was a genius too. His magic skills were so great that some thought he would have been a match for Celestia. Of course that wasn’t true, but if you could see the things he did you’d find it hard to believe it wasn’t.”
“I bet he wasn‘t even in my league!” Shining said as he puffed out his chest.
“Oh no not even close.” Shining smiled with pride. “He was at least ten leagues higher.” Shining leaned over like he had been kicked in the gut. That was obviously a harsh blow to his pride. “I remember Celestia meeting him once, and if you ask her this she’ll deny it, but after talking with him a bit and seeing him do some amazing magic she accidentally said ‘Good job, Starswirl!’. I kid you not!”
They’re mouths dropped to the table. “Did she really, Cadence?” Twilight asked.
“Like I said she’ll deny it if you ask, but it’s true. I’ll never forget the day he took up a challenge just to prove he wasn’t as strong as Celestia. He had gotten so frustrated with everyone comparing him to the princess he walked right past the guards and straight into our dining hall early in the morning before the sun rose demanding that Celestia teach him the spell so he could give it a shot and everyone would stop comparing the two. You should have seen the look on our faces!”
“Whoa seriously? Celestia must have been angry!” Shining said a little hopeful.
“Oh no not at all! In fact she just laughed and spent the next twenty minutes teaching him the spell. Then once it hit six o’clock, we went to the balcony where she raised the sun every morning alongside a couple of guards and watched his attempt.”
“Wait he really tried to raise the sun?!” Twilight shouted astounded. It was such a shock even rainbow dash had started paying attention again.
“He didn’t TRY Twilight… he SUCCEEDED. I mean by the time he was done he was barely able to stand and had blood dripping from his nose due to the strain, but yes, he managed to raise the sun. A few seconds after words he ended up passing out, not his most graceful moment I assure you. You should have seen him when he woke up. He looked at me and asked me how bad he did and you know I told him how he did it. By Celestia was he mad! The entire reason he did that was to prove that he wasn’t on Celestias level but there he goes raising the sun. The teasing only got worse after that.
“Anyways we had been good friends ever since we were small. As we grew up it became something a bit… more. I think the best part of being around him was that he always made me feel so small.”
Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on the table. “How can feeling small be a GOOD thing?!”
“Well when I was younger people looked at me and they saw someone who was good at everything. I was pretty, smart, great at sports, there was nothing I couldn’t do. And when I became an Alicorn I was showered with even more praise than I already had. I always felt so much BIGGER than everypony and I hated it. I didn’t want the attention or the adoration. I just wanted to be treated like a normal pony. But him? He was TRULY great. Yes I was good at everything… but even I had to work a little to be that way. Him? He was a natural. Better than everyone. If you could do it he could do it better, and on his first try no less. He made everything seem so effortless and to him it was. Yet even though he was the best, he didn’t act like it. He didn’t see himself as this amazing guy. He just did stuff and did it well and that was all and he was always calm, cool, collected. Nothing ever phased him. People showered him with praise constantly but he could have cared less. I was a Princess, but in my eyes, HE was a KING. And as a King he treated me like a Queen. Everything was perfect.”
“It certainly sounds like it. So what happened then? Why would the two of you break up?” Rarity asked.
“She’s right. If you were so happy together… what went wrong?” Fluttershy added.
Cadence looked down and sighed. With her eyes closed she said “I don’t know.”
Shining looked up confused. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean exactly what I said, love. I don’t know. The day after hearts and hooves day he knocked on my door in the middle of the night. My mom saw it was him and he asked to see me. Naturally I rushed down to meet him excited but when I saw the look on his face I got scared. His face was cold, uncaring. The only times I ever saw his face like that was when he had bad news. I looked at him and said “What’s wrong, Rade?”
Cadence paused staring blankly at her empty plate on the table, lost deep in her memories. Her eyes began to water. Tears didn’t fall, but they surely wanted out. Shining tried to give her a comforting hoof but she shoved him away, much to everyone’s surprise. She took a deep shaky breath before she continued.
“Rade… he looked me dead in the eyes and said ‘I’m breaking up with you.’ Then he just… walked away. He didn’t say another word. Didn’t wait to see my reaction. Just walked away never to be seen again.”
“Wait what do you mean never to be seen again?!” Pinkie asked.
“Just that. After he left me broken hearted at my doorstep, no one ever saw him again. He was just… gone. Poof. Like he had never existed at all. His parents came over to my house the next morning asking if we had any idea where he was. All I was able to tell them was that he broke up with me and walked away. He sent all of Canterlot into chaos. Only one person saw him after me and that was Cherilee. She saw him walking into the Everfree forest about an hour after he left my house. She didn’t think anything of it at the time because for him that was a perfectly normal thing to do. He used to go into the forest all the time to research the creatures and plants that lived there. She told me once that she wanted to ask him about what he was doing but thought against it. Now it’s her biggest regret.”
“He sounds like a complete jerk if you ask me!” Rainbow shouted. The rest of the ponies all nodded their heads in agreement.
“Maybe. But I still wonder, what happened to him in those woods? Where did he go and why did he leave so suddenly? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Did I nag him too much? Was I too clingy? I thought we were so happy and then… in an instant… it was over. Like I had been living a dream.”
There was an awkward silence that passed through the group of ponies. None of them really knew what to say or think. Sure everypony thought he was a jerk, but he was certainly a very mysterious jerk. The silence was finally broken when Pinkie couldn’t take it anymore and pulled out her party cannon, raining streamers and confetti all over the café, much to the dismay of its employees. After another hour of talking and catching up, they all parted their ways with Cadence and shining returning to the Palace.
As Luna rose the moon and night fell upon the castle, Cadence and Shining Armor laid down to sleep. Shining was out like a light within minutes, but Cadence stayed wide awake for quite some time, the thought of the days conversation running through her head. She hadn’t thought of Glowing Radiance in years. She tried her best not to. They had become painful memories for her. Yet here she was thinking of him again. Questions filled her mind, just like the night he left. But soon exhaustion overcame her, and drifted into the world of dreams.
Cadence opened her eyes and found herself looking in a mirror. Her mouth fell open when she saw her younger self staring back. She looked around to see that she was in her old room again. She was more than a little confused. Had she not been with Shining Armor just moments ago?
Just then she heard her mother call from the stairs. “Oh Cadence! Rade’s here to see you!”
Cadence looked at the door. “Rade… but that’s impossible… have I traveled back in time. No… I wouldn’t be younger if that had happened…”
“Cadence are you coming? He looks pretty serious I think it’s something important.”
“C-Coming mom!” she called. She opened the door and began running down the stairs. She opened the door and repeated the words she said so long ago. “What’s wrong Rade?”
“I’m breaking up with you.” he said and he turned around and started walking away.
Suddenly grief and panic overtook the princess. “Rade stop! Don’t go to Everfree please!” She tried to run after him but slammed into a barrier halfway through her yard. She got up and started ramming her head against the invisible shield. Smashing at it with all her might trying to will it to break, but nothing worked. She slumped into the dirt crying as she watched him walking away. “Rade please… at least tell me why… why are you leaving? Why are you going to everfree? Please just give me a reason. I want to know something before you disappear, please! Anything!”
“RADE DON’T GO!” she screamed sitting up and opening her eyes. She placed a hoof over her head as she shielded her eyes from the rays of the sun. Once they adjusted she was able to see that she was still in her room in the castle, tears still streaming down her face as reality sunk in. “It was… just a nightmare?”
“Yeah. One I sadly couldn’t wake you out of. Cadence turned her head to find a very annoyed Shining Armor with a plate full of food. It took her a while to realize why he was so upset but when she did she tried her best to apologize.
“Shining I’m sorry! You know I didn’t mean to.”
He raised his hoof. “It’s alright. After listening to ‘No Rade!’ ‘Rade please don’t go!’ ‘Rade I LOVE you!’ for an hour, you get used to it.” he said with a mocking tone.
Cadence flinched. Had she been like that all night? No wonder he was upset. Shining sighed, and put down his jelly biscuit. “Look, I’m sorry. No one can control what they dream about… except maybe Luna. I know you it’s not your fault so let’s just forget about it and get through our day okay? We got a lot of work ahead of us.
Cadence smiled. Where would she be without such an understanding husband? Of course, understanding and patient are two different things. And while he was both, his patience began to wear thin when it happened the next night… and the next… and the next… and the next. Finally a week had passed and every night Cadence talked in her sleep begging Rade not to go. And every morning she woke up crying next to an upset Shining Armor. By the end of the week she was getting the full silent treatment. She and Armor couldn’t even look each other in the eyes.
Cadence was depressed. Between the nightmares, the stress of her royal duties, and the animosity between her and Shining at the moment, she just couldn’t handle it. So with some permission from Celestia she left the castle to go visit Twilight.
“That’s terrible Cadence. I can’t believe Shining would act like that.”
“Anypony would act like that in this situation, Twilight.”
“Have you talked to Princess Luna? Maybe there’s something she could do.”
“Yes, but she said she can’t do anything because the trauma is too bad. She said they either have to go away on their own or I have to find out what really happened.”
“So all you can do is wait?
Cadence nodded her head. “Oh what should I do Twilight? At this rate Armor and I are going to end up sleeping in different rooms and I don’t know if I could take that!”
“Sorry Cadence but I’m terrible at advice… although…”
Cadence lifted her head off of Twilights desk. “What? What is it?”
“There’s a Zebra who lives in the Everfree forest. Her name’s Zecora and she brews all sorts of helpful potions. Perhaps she can give you something to make the nightmare’s go away!”
“Oh thank you Twilight, thank you!”
AT ZECORA’S
“Hello Zecora!” Twilight said with a smile on her face.
“Ah miss Sparkle! What a surprise and who is this I see with my eyes?”
“This,” she points a hoof towards Cadence “Is my sister-in-law, Cadence.” Cadence managed to squeak out a weak hello as she fought her ever growing fatigue.
“We were wondering if you could help her?”
Zecora gave a soft smile. “Sit over there you two, and Zecora will see what she can do.”
Cadence recounted everything that happened over the past week, even going into detail on what happened between herself and Rade all those years ago. When she finished her tale Zecora sat silently, pondering what to do.
Anxious Cadence asked “So… can you make me something to make the nightmares go away?”
“I could I could. But I thinks perhaps it’s not right that I should.”
“What?!” Cadence screamed. “You have to help me my marriage is at stake here!”
“Calm down Princess I understand. But I may just have a better plan.”
“Better? What could be better?”
Zecora walked over to her many cupboards and began looking through them, shuffling quickly through the contents. “You say you’re tortured by that day? Do you still wish to know his fate?”
Cadence was stunned into silence. “Are you… are you saying you can find out what happened?”
Zecora shook her head and looked at Twilight. “I cannot tell you what happened in his past. But perhaps if you’re lucky, we won’t have to ask. Do you have anything that belonged to him then? If you do I can make a potion for your friend..”
Twilight opened her mouth, but shut it and looked at Cadence. Cadence put her head down and took a deep breath before replying. “Yes… I do. But if I give it too you, will I get it back?”
“The potion I brew is a powerful one. Once it’s in, the item is done.”
“But… you’re sure that I can find out the truth?”
“So long as he had feelings for you.”
Cadence looked down at her hooves and thought for a long time. She took a deep breath before looking up and saying. “Alright. I’ll do it. Twilight, I want you to teleport to my room in Canterlot. Look in my luggage and you’ll find a small purple jewelry box. I want you to bring it to me okay?” Twilight nodded her head. And disappeared in a flash of purple light. It was silent for a few minutes, save for the sound of Zecora mixing her potion. Suddenly they heard a loud crashing sound and turned to find Fluttershy and Rarity standing there.
“Oh, I’m sorry Zecora.” Rarity said. “I stumbled right before I pushed the door open and it seems that I startled you and your guest. Speaking of which, I didn’t know you knew Princess Cadence!”
“Well she didn’t really. You see since I told you guys the story at the café I’ve been having
nightmares about that day. Twilight said that if I came here Zecora might be able to brew me a potion to make them stop.”
“Can you?” Fluttershy asked.
“A potion for nightly fears is easy to make these years, but Cadence’s problem runs deeper than that, so I’m brewing another to find what she lacks.”
“Your pardon?” Rarity said confused.
“Zecora thinks she can make something to help me find out what happened to Rade all those years ago.”
Rarity and Fluttershy both gasped. “Well,” Rarity said. “I just came here to find out more about her culture for a new line of clothes I’m working on… but this is much more important! Mind if I stick around to see what happens?”
“Me too, I mean… if you want…”
Cadence giggled. “Yes, it’s fine. I need another ingredient though, something that belonged to him. Twilight’s gone to fetch it.” Just then a bright purple flash ripped through the room and there stood Twilight with Cadence’s jewelry box.
“Here you go Cadence. Oh! Hi Rariy. Hi Fluttershy. What are you doing here?”
“Never mind that Twilight. We’re just here for Cadence now.”
“Thank you Twilight, and you too Rarity and Fluttershy.” Cadence opened up the box, setting the bottom aside and holding the lid. Very carefully she removed the fabric the covered the inside of the lid and pulled out a beautiful golden ring with a large diamond on it.
“What IS that?” Fluttershy asked.
“It is… no. It WAS our engagement ring.”
Everyone except Zecora sucked in their breath. “Wait… you were ENGAGED?” Twilight asked.
“WERE… and that was a very long time ago. We were young but we… we truly loved each other. He proposed to me even though we were still in school. It’s funny looking back. Normally people freak out when the couple makes a decision like that while they’re so young. Yet nobody judged us. Everyone was supportive even our parents. We were just so…” Perfect for each other. She thought.
“Will this do, Zecora?”
“So long as his feelings for you were true, it shall make for an excellent ingredient to brew.” Zecora took the ring and tossed it into the pot while Cadence flinched. She knew she shouldn’t have kept that ring all these years, especially when she was with her husband now. But it had become something she just couldn’t let go of. The memories, the emotions, they were just too precious for her.
“The potion will be ready by tomorrow Princess. Please return here after some well deserved rest.”
Cadence and the others thanked her. Rarity asked if she and the others could come with her in the morning and Cadence happily agreed, so long as they didn’t tell Shining Armor about the engagement ring. They all returned home, Cadence hoping that Shining would be asleep and as luck would have it he was. She laid next to him and drifted to sleep.
But this time there were no nightmares. Just dreams of the happy days she spent with her beloved Rade.
Cadence awoke with Shining Armor nowhere to be found. Normally this would have sent her into a panic but today she was thankful for it. She looked at the clock only to discover she was late! She got ready as fast as she could and didn’t even bother putting on some of her usual attire. No make up today. No crown or fancy shoes. Just brush her mane and go. Today was too important of a day to be late.
She arrived at Zecora’s shop and could see through the window that there were already people there. She sighed out of embarrassment. She was sure Twilight was going to nag her about waking up on time and being punctual. Closing her eyes and preparing herself for the oncoming nagging she pushed open the door.
“Sorry I’m late everyone. I accidentally slept in. But I’m here now so let’s get started.”
“Yes… let’s. I want to know what happened to this Fiancé of yours.” Said a voice she wasn’t expecting. Cadence snapped her eyes open to see Shining Armor standing in the middle of the crowd of ponies. He was angry, that much was for sure. What she wasn’t sure about was how he knew. She looked at the gaggle of girls over in the corner. Five of them parted like the sea to reveal an ashamed Applejack.
“Applejack… why?”
“Because I asked, that’s why. I had a feeling you were going to try and find out more about what happened to… Rade. And I wanted to know what you found out. So here we are.”
“Fine then… do what you like Shining. Okay Zecora, let’s do this.”
“This is the potion that you must drink, but don’t be surprised if it’s different than what you think.”
Twilight grabbed the potion and held it to her face. It was in a crystal flask that glimmered a very light pink. “Hey Zecora,” she asked. “Have you given me this potion before by any chance?”
“I believe I have, princess Twilight. You used it to help you in the Everfree fight.”
Twilight smiled. “Here Cadence, drink up. I’ve had this before so I know it’ll work now.”
Cadence grabbed the glass and downed it, sighing contentedly when she finished. After a few seconds she said “Nothing’s happen-” but her words never finished. Cadence stood completely still, like she was lost in a trance. And not just her but Twilight too.
“Hey… hey what’s going on?” Shining asked. “What’s wrong with Twily?!”
“You’re worried about your sister and not your wife?” said Rainbow Dash angrily.
“Shining Armor worry not, for it seems that I have forgot. When one drinks this special brew, they stay connected until serving number two.”
“So she’s just seeing what Cadence is-” Shining stopped talking at the sound of sobbing. Everyone turned their eyes to Cadence. Tears fell like waterfalls down her cheeks. With wide eyes and a slack jaw, she began to mumble to herself almost incoherently.
“Rade no… please no. You’re not alone… I’m right here… please… look at me… I’m right here please…” Suddenly her eyes seemed to come back to life. Her already shaking legs buckled under the weight they no longer had the strength to carry. Twilight placed a hoof on Cadence’s head and spoke to her sister-in-law softly.
“Cadence it’s okay. He did it to protect you. To protect EVERYPONY. It wasn’t in vain…”
“But he was calling me Twilight! He was alone and scared and all he wanted was me! He knew what was coming and he was so terrified. In the end all he wanted was me… but I… I… oh I’m so ashamed. I spent that night cursing him. Hoping he would burn. But he… he…”
Cadence struggled to get back on her hooves. “Everyone I’m sorry but… I need to go for a little while. I need to be alone. I’ll see you all later… eventually.”
Several days passed and people grew worried. Cadence had not left her room in all that time. She was supposed to return to the Crystal Empire a while ago but she refused to go anywhere. She was barely eating, and she only ever left in the dead of night to use the restroom.
Shining Armor didn’t stay. “Somepony has to run the Crystal Empire!” he said before he stormed off and onto the train. Twilight refused to talk about what happened. Apparently Cadence made her promise not to tell. Besides, she didn’t really feel like she had the right.
Finally though Twilight decided that it was time to talk to Cadence whether she wanted to or not. She stood at her door, Celestia and Luna on either side of her, and knocked gently with her hoof. “Cadence? Cadence are you there? It’s me, Twilight… I’m coming in okay?”
She pushed the door open gently and peered inside. What she saw astounded her. Books lay scattered everywhere, scrolls had been littered about haphazardly. Bags of snacks she had snuck from the kitchen crunched under Twilight’s feet. She moved over to Cadence to find the young Princess fast asleep and covered by a yellow blanket with her hair tied up and sprayed over her shoulder. Her matted fur was covered in stains and frankly she smelled terrible.
Twilight looked at the book under Cadence’s hoof and gasped.
These… they’re all books about time travel magic! How did she get so many? Twilight nudged her old foal sitter, begging her to wake. “Cadence… Cadence wake up please. We need to talk.”
“Wh-what? Rade? Is that you?” Cadence lifted her head slowly and sighed when she saw Twilight. “Oh… it’s just you Twilight. What do you want?”
“Cadence listen to me please. You can’t change the past. He’s time locked. There’s no helping him now. He’s stuck in an infinite loop you can’t change that!”
“Twilight I… WE owe him. He saved us all. The least we can do is TRY to save him.”
“And if it was still all those years ago I’m sure we could. But we can’t now. Celestia banned time travel magic for a REASON. Trust me I know from first hoof experience. Besides even if you ARE a princess, you wouldn’t be able to hold that gate open AND save him at the same time. You’ll die from exhaustion long before you ever get anywhere.”
“I have to try, Twilight. All these years… all these years and I didn’t know how much he suffered. None of us did. So many people came to hate him. So many people couldn’t stand him… it’s time to set things right. I’m going to save his life and he’s going to live it through like he was meant to!”
“And what about Shining?”
“What about him?”
“If you save Rade you’ll have no reason to be with my brother. You’ll never fall in love with him, never get married! You’ll end up with Rade instead!”
Cadence looked away. “At this point, Twilight… I’m not so sure how bad of a thing that would be.”
Twilight gasped. “What… what’re you saying?”
“Look around, Twilight! Do you see your brother anywhere?! NO! He’s in the crystal empire!”
“Somepony has to run your kingdom!”
“The crystal empire has an entire council under me who can run things on their own! I’m little
more than a figurehead! The empire doesn’t NEED us, but I DO need him! But oh look, he’s not even here is he?”
“That’s because… because…”
“Girls that’s enough.” Celestia said entering the room. Luna followed in suit as the two walked over to Twilight and Cadence. “Bickering will get us nowhere. And as for this business about going back in time… I believe we should try. If we work together, it might just work.”
Twilight walked over to Celestia and looked her in the eyes. “But you said that type of magic is forbidden.”
“And it is, for good reason as you APPARENTLY already know.” Twilight flinched. “But Cadence is not the only one who feels guilty. Rade came to me all those years ago trying several times to warn me of an oncoming tragedy. He pleaded with me several times to be at the ready to do something about it. He came to me time and again but I always shrugged it off thinking he was talking nonsense. Then when he disappeared… somehow I knew. He had gone to confront whatever danger had risen against his home and he had succeeded but at a steep cost. I feel I am partly to blame for this, and I wish to rectify this wrong.”
“My sister and I have talked it over and we believe that if the four of us princesses work together we can send you back for about an hour Cadence. But we can’t give you a second more.”
Cadence shot up from her bed. “You mean you’ll help me?!”
“Of course.” Celestia replied. “I’d do anything to help Starswirl… I mean Glorious Radiance.”
Cadence rushed over to Celestia, wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you so much… this means so much to me you have no idea!”
“Come now,” Luna said. “Let’s get ready.”
Night fell over Canterlot. Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Cadence stood together in a magic circle. Twilight had been upset ever since they had agreed to do this. She didn’t want to do it, but without her help it couldn’t be done so she agreed but remained vocal about her feelings towards the whole ordeal.
“Is everypony ready? Cadence have you cast a secure illusion spell? We don‘t want anyone from the past recognizing you.” Celestia asked. Cadence, who now resembled Celestia in every way, nodded her head. “Alright then, let’s begin.”
They closed their eyes, willing magic into and out of their horns. Light gathered in a circle at their center. It started out small, now bigger round than a can of fruit, but it slowly began to expand, spreading a dazzling light all over the throne room. “Now Cadence!” Luna shouted. She wasted no time, running at the light in a full gallop she jumped into the air and dived into the portal as the light faded behind her.