Twilight has just received her wings, and the Element of Loyalty is just the pony to help her learn to use them.
Twilight Sparkle was recently crowned as the newest princess of Equestria, and one of her first challenges is learning how to use her new feathered appendages. There's nopony better to learn from than Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in Equestria, right?
I want to experiment more with actual dialogue and emotions with this story. I wanted to write a little bit about my own experiences with depression just for the hell of it.
A simple flap of the wings. That’s all there is to it, right?
That’s what she had been telling Twilight this entire time! Just a flap, or a “down thrust” in egg-head terms. Twilight just couldn’t seem to get the power behind it. She flew a lot like Fluttershy, low to the ground and rather slowly. But slow just didn’t satisfy Rainbow Dash.
“Come on Twilight! You can do better than that!” Rainbow teased. Even her “slow” glide was faster than most ponies. Twilight, just having received her wings, had no chance in keeping up.
The purple princess struggled to hold her own weight off the ground, even without trying to move forward. She was completely and utterly out of breath. Gravity got the best of her, and she fell to the ground with a thump. “Rainbow Dash!” She managed to scold the pegasus pony as she gasped for air to cool her burning lungs. “You know I’m no good at flying! Why must you be such a show off?”
Dash landed in front of her student with a huff. “How are you going to get any better without practicing?”
“I am practicing!” Twilight growled back.
“Yeah, but you’ll get even better with a little competition!” The rainbow-maned pegasus was annoyed at Twilight’s way less-than-perfect performance. “And there is nopony more competitive than me!” The feathers in her wings outstretched as she put on a very prideful pose. “Besides, you have more feathers in your wings, so you must be able to at least fly as fast as… Fluttershy!” She was going to say herself, but there was no way that Twilight, or anypony for that matter, would be able to fly as fast as her.
The alicorn continued to lay on the ground, allowing herself to rest. There were a lot of reasons why she wasn’t living up to her friend’s expectations. For one, she just got her wings a month ago. Another was that she had to overcome at least 1500 Neightons of force just to sustain a hover! She dismissed any of her arguments. Rainbow Dash was too stubborn to listen to any of them. Instead, she rested and focused her glare on the pegasus, waiting for the next thing she would say.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Alright. I guess you did do pretty well today…” She was somewhat impressed that Twilight was able to move forward a little bit. Fluttershy had not taught her that in her lessons last week. “You deserve a break! I’ll see you next week?” Dash flashed her best smile, knowing that Twilight wouldn’t refuse.
Twilight weakly got to her hooves. “Yeah, I guess. Same time, same place?”
“Totally the same time, but I have an idea. Why don’t we meet about halfway up the mountain, the one that used to have the dragon on it?” Dash asked.
“Sounds good to me, I’ll see you there.” Twilight wondered what Rainbow Dash had in mind, but she was sure that her friend had good intentions.
-~-
The week had gone by slowly for Rainbow Dash, but it was finally time for Twilight’s lesson this week. Actually, it was a little past the designated time, and Dash was growing a little impatient. In a sudden flash, Twilight materialized close to her. “There you are! I was worried you chickened out!”
“Sorry, I got caught up reading one of Starswirl’s studies, you wouldn’t imagine the things he discovered during his long life-”
“Yeah yeah, so are you ready to get started with today’s lesson?” Dash hovered a few meters above the ground, preparing to reveal her plans for this afternoon. “I thought that you might need a little head start to get yourself going, so I brought us up here…”
Twilight began stretching her wings and legs. “Can’t we do a bit of stretching exercises first? I haven’t had time to practice all week, Celestia is allowing me to go through the parts of the Royal Library not open to the public, and-”
“Sure,” The pegasus cut Twilight off, knowing that she would start ranting about egg-head things. “We can do some stretches if you want to.”
For a few minutes the pair did some stretches, Twilight took it slow and carefully thought out her actions. Once she became an alicorn, the books about flying techniques stowed in the Ponyville Library became of use. She had read them before, but only now was the knowledge contained inside the pages capable of really helping her. Rainbow Dash rushed through her exercises, if they could be called that. She lazily stretched, demonstrating her superior flexibility in ways which she didn’t push herself too far. Dash’s display somewhat inspired her alicorn friend, and the purple pony stretched with pride.
“Alright!” Dash launched off the ground and hovered in place. “You ready to start now?”
Twilight Sparkle stood confidently on the ground. “Yes!” She exclaimed. With a few powerful flaps of the wings, she slowly ascended a couple meters off the ground, next to the light blue pegasus. Between heavy breaths, Twilight asked; “So, what’s next?”
Rainbow Dash gleamed with excitement. “This is where the real fun begins!” She flew over the edge of the mountain, surveying the landscape. There were few trees or other kinds of vegetation. The mountain itself dropped down at a steep incline for a few meters, then suddenly sloped down and flattened. “I thought this would be a great place to practice your gliding skills. You can get an easy head start here. The wind isn’t even blowing that hard today!”
The purple princess landed hard on her hooves and peered over the edge. She wasn’t exactly afraid of heights, but she also wasn’t too keen of trusting her wings while really high up yet. “Are you sure about this?”
“Totally!” Dash flew in front of Twilight and shot her a look of confidence. “Gliding is even simpler than flying! You don’t even have to move your wings! Up and down anyways. It would be a little easier if there were an updraft, but beggars can’t be choosers!”
“What happens if I begin to fall? This isn’t exactly a short descent.” The alicorn worriedly asked.
Rainbow Dash answered jokingly, “Then instinct would kick in and then you’d really be soaring!” The look on her friend’s face read that Twilight didn’t take her statement as much of a joke. “Anyway, I’m the fastest flier in all of Equestria! You do remember who rescued the Wonderbolts from plummeting to their doom, right? In case you didn’t, it was me!” The blue pegasus flexed, making her well-toned leg muscles ripple under her skin. “Come on, you might even have a little fun this time!”
Twilight Sparkle looked down the mountain once more. Dash was right, she was very, very fast and was indeed very strong. How else could she have saved the Wonderbolts, or even competed with their Mare-Do-Well façade? “I suppose you’re right. I’ve read a lot about gliding, and how pegasus fillies normally start off flying that way. If I can hover- even just a little bit- I must be able to glide!” She felt more confident in saying that. Besides, she only had to depend on Rainbow Dash if things went awry, like if she got too tired. But gliding doesn’t even require much flapping, just feeling the wind.
The rainbow maned pony laughed confidently. “Yeah, I’m glad that you finally see it my way!” She landed close to her purple friend, and the pair got ready to begin their descent. Twilight smiled. Together they expanded their wings, feeling the wind blow through each feather.
Rainbow Dash took off and hovered a couple meters off of side of the mountain . “I’ll be right next to you the whole time, Twilight!”
The words and diagrams filling books about flight raced through the princess’s mind as she prepared for take off. Her wings were wide and dense, practically perfect for long distance flight without expending much energy. Twilight took a few quick steps and found herself slowly falling, the only thing keeping her from plummeting uncontrollably were her wings. Her new found instincts took over as she stretched her limbs straight out and faced forward.
Next to her, Rainbow Dash watched carefully, taking caution to not startle Twilight or stray too far away from her. “You’re doing awesome!” She complimented.
Twilight turned her head slightly just enough so she could see her mentor. But as her eyes drifted away from the ground, her target, she lost more focus than she could spare. Her left wing dipped down a little too much and she suddenly lost control. Spinning wildly, the harsh wind whipped through her mane and into her eyes and nostrils. Through her almost closed eyelids, she could barely make out the quickly approaching ground. She wanted to scream, but her lungs could not push any air out.
As suddenly as she started falling, she was suspended in the air, held by Rainbow Dash’s grip. “Gotcha!” the pegasus gasped. Twilight whimpered. The adrenaline pumping through her veins made it hard to remain still, and her shaking was making it increasingly difficult for Dash to keep her hold. “Let me lift you up-” Dash grunted as she pulled Twilight up, holding her close. The rainbow-maned pegasus realized that their position must look odd to any bystanders, but the princess’s safety was much more important than what other ponies may think.
All of a sudden, a powerful gust of wind pushed the pair of ponies around like a couple of ragdolls. The two held onto each other in shock, both of them screaming while the harsh air cut into their mouths. Then they were going downwards, but even Rainbow Dash was taken so much by surprise that vertigo set in and she could not tell which direction they were heading in. Down, down, down, until…
Dust flew up where the two ponies hit the rocky ground and the warm air distributed it over the pair’s coats and manes. Rainbow Dash lifted herself a few centimeters off of the ground to look over what had happened, but found that her front right leg wasn’t supporting her weight very well. In fact, it was trapped under another weight- her friend, Twilight Sparkle. The light purple pony was not moving, and Dash could not feel anything moving with her trapped right leg.
“Twilight, you alright?” The rainbow-maned pony asked. “My leg is stuck under you-” she grunted as she pulled her leg out from under the princess’s mass. She stood up and attempted to put her weight on her front leg, but as soon as she did stabbing pain shot through it. Dash pulled her leg back up quickly and made a mental note not to use her leg and to get it checked out by Fluttershy later.
Her attention turned back to Twilight, who she prodded with her muzzle. “Come on Twilight, you’re alright. Let’s go to Fluttershy’s and get patched up.”
But Twilight didn’t respond. In fact, at closer inspection, it looked like she wasn’t breathing. “Twilight?” The pegasus’s heart began to pound in her ears. Was Twilight okay? Was Twilight really hurt? Was Twilight…
“Come on Twilight! This isn’t funny!” Rainbow began to scream. “I play pranks all the time… but this is crossing the line!” She limped around the alicorn in a circle while the pain in her leg began to manifest. “Twilight!” She pushed Twilight’s limp body with her muzzle. “Get up! Please!”
After a few minutes of exasperated yelling, Rainbow finally collapsed in a heap onto the princess’s body and began sobbing. Loud blubbering filled her ears as she made the realization that her friend was… was…
Dash screamed until her lungs begged for her to stop. She slammed her hooves into her head. Then she did it again. Over and over. This was her fault. This wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t made Twilight go so far over the edge. Why had she done that? Why had she made that mistake? Why was she so stupid? Tears streamed down her face as she repeatedly smacked herself.
Finally she was exhausted. She hiccuped as she laid next to the purple princess’s corpse, rocking gently back and forth. Eventually she fell into a fitful and dreamless sleep.
-~-
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Are you sure she’s alright?”
“She’s breathing really heavily…”
Her eyes opened slowly and Rainbow Dash saw three of her best friends around huddled around her, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Fluttershy. They were all staring at her worriedly. “Oh, hey guys. You would not believe the crazy dream I just had…” She rubbed her pounding head and found that the leg she was using to comfort her head was also hurting. The blue pegasus looked at her leg and saw that it was covered with awful looking bruises and appeared a little flatter than usual.
Fluttershy gasped. “Oh dear!” She gently grabbed Dash’s leg and cradled it. The rainbow-maned mare winced, but did not say anything. “Your leg- I think it’s broken! I hope you’re not hurt anywhere else…” She quickly looked over Rainbow Dash and stopped when she saw her right wing. “Your wing looks like it might be hurt too. Can you move it?” She asked.
“Let me try-” Dash let out a small squeak as she raised and lowered her wing. “I can move it, but it hurts pretty badly.” All of the ponies around her looked like they felt sorry for her. “Come on guys, I’ve been hurt worse than this!”
“Sugarcube, we all know better than that.” Applejack began to speak to her. “We know you’ve been hurt worse than this, but…” She sighed. “I don’t quite know how to put this…” The blonde mare glanced to something Dash had pushed out of her mind.
Twilight!
“Rarity went to get a doctor,” Applejack explained, “but I’m worried that its-” She breathed in deeply as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. “Its too late…”
Pinkie Pie burst out crying and screaming. “It’s not fair!” Fluttershy trotted over to comfort her, but the pegasus’s nurturing helped very little. “She was so young! She had so much to live for!”
Rainbow Dash realized that she was laying next to Twilight, who was pale and cold. She teared up and began to hiccup. The events that had taken place just earlier all came flooding back to her and overwhelmed her senses. No longer could she hear Pinkie’s screaming or Fluttershy trying to calm her down, nor could she hear the ambulance ponies arriving to collect her and the deceased princess. All she could see was what had happened earlier all playing out in her mind, all the mistakes she had made magnified tenfold.
-~-
After arriving in the hospital and being settled in, all Rainbow Dash could do was criticize herself. Why had she decided to start off so hard? Why had she forced Twilight into doing that? Why had she been so dumb? The pegasus pony began hitting her head again.
The nurse came in and Dash quit smacking herself. “Hey Rainbow Dash!” The nurse joyfully said. “I’m here to take your vitals. Just let me put this thermometer in your mouth and take your blood pressure then we’ll be finished. I’m Nurse Syrup, how are you feeling today?” She asked.
“I’m gooff,” Rainbow replied, lying to not cause any commotion. The thermometer in her mouth made it difficult to say anything clearly.
Nurse Syrup removed the thermometer and read the reading out loud. “37.8 degrees celsius! Looking good!” She un-velcroed the blood pressure machine and wrote down the readings from the two devices. “I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling good, because your friends will be in to see you as soon as I’m out! Have fun!” The nurse walked out of the room and closed the door.
The rainbow-maned pony yawned and laid back in the hospital bed. She admitted that she was awfully tired after having her wing and front leg wrapped up. Plus the stuff that happened earlier was exhausting her mind, and she would love to take a nap…
But as soon as she began to close her eyes, the door opened and four ponies shuffled in. First Pinkie Pie came bouncing in, then Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy.
“Heya Dashie!” Pinkie called out. “How you feeling? Did the doctors try any weird experiments on you? Did they give you a bunch of shots? Did they hurt? Huh? Huh?”
Dash laughed at the pink pony’s excitement. “No Pinkie, I’m fine. They didn’t do any of that sort of stuff. They said I’ll be getting out the day after tomorrow if all goes well.” She responded.
Rarity smiled. “That’s magnificent! We all know how much you hate being cooped up.” Everyone nodded and made sounds of agreement, “Is there anything we can bring you to make these next couple of days easier?” She asked.
The blue pegasus tilted her head. She wanted anything to keep her mind off of the… incident…
“A book or two would be awesome.” Rainbow Dash decided. Her face felt hot as she began to think about how Twilight was the one who got her to start reading in the first place. She swallowed hard to try and keep in the tears.
Applejack placed a hoof on her shoulder. “It’s alright Rainbow, we all miss her.” The earth pony’s own voice was cracking, “You can let it out, we’re all here for you.”
All four of the visiting ponies gathered around Rainbow Dash and embraced each other in a group hug. Each of them had tears streaming down their faces. The room was filled with the sounds of various degrees of sobbing, weeping, and blubbering.
Just as the huddle disassembled and the friends recollected themselves, the doctor trotted into Dash’s hospital room. “Oh! I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I can wait a bit longer if you need me to.” The doctor calmly stated.
“No, it’s fine.” Fluttershy explained between quiet sniffles. “We can leave, you need to see Dash anyway.” Everyone nodded in agreement once again. All the visiting ponies gave their goodbyes and shuffled out of the room.
Pinkie Pie suddenly burst back inside, causing Rainbow Dash and the doctor to jump. “I know you need your rest, but I’ll be visiting tomorrow! Everyone else said they’ll be busy, but I will visit! Pinkie promise!” She held up a hoof, and was gone before the pegasus pony could respond.
Rainbow Dash let out an uncomfortable laugh. “You’ll have to excuse my friend doc, that’s Pinkie Pie, she’s so random sometimes.” She shifted in her bed, but winced when she put pressure on her hurt wing. “Ouch… I guess I forgot about that.” She laughed a little again.
The doctor laughed too. “It’s good to have friends that help you forget about your troubles. I’m Dr. Osteo, and I’ll be helping you out the next two days you’re in here.” She explained. “My magic will help your broken bones heal, but you’ll have to put in some effort to ensure that they heal correctly so that they work well when you’re not in the hospital anymore.”
The unicorn doctor began using healing magic on Dash’s leg, which felt warm and caused the what little pain she had to cease. She laid her head back and closed her eyes.
-~-
During the next morning, Pinkie Pie held up her promise and came into Rainbow Dash’s hospital room. “Morning Dash! How’s it going?” She bounced up to the pegasus and propped her elbows on the corner of the bed. “I brought you some of those Daring Doo books that you like.”
“Hey Pinkie, thanks. I’m feeling pretty bored today. I can’t wait to get out of here!” Dash answered. She propped herself up on the pillow and stretched. “It feels good to nap a lot, but I prefer to sleep in my own bed, you know?” She laughed.
Pinkie giggled, “Don’t you normally take naps on clouds or in trees, silly head? But yeah, I know what you mean.”
The two chattered back and forth the entire visitation time. Rainbow Dash was pleased to have someone to talk with so that she didn’t get quite so bored. But she felt exhausted after a while and just wanted to be alone, but didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings by telling her to leave. Eventually the doctor came in and it was time for the party pony to depart.
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” The earth pony chimed as she walked out and closed the door.
-~-
The next afternoon Rainbow Dash checked out of the hospital and was greeted by all of her friends outside. “Welcome back!” They all cheered and gathered around Dash in another hug.
“Hey girls!” The blue pegasus greeted. “It’s so awesome to be out and to see all of you! But, to be honest, I’d love to go home and relax for a while, you know?”
Everyone nodded. “We understand.” Fluttershy stated. “You still need your rest.”
“But be sure to come out and see us soon! We all missed you!” Applejack added.
Dash began to hover in place. “Of course Applejack! I’ll come to Sweet Apple Acres as soon as I feel up to it. See you guys later!” She took off speedily towards her house in the clouds, away from all of her friends.
The flight home felt short. From the time she took off to the time she landed, instinct rushed over Rainbow Dash. All she felt was the wind whipping through her mane and against her coat. All she could hear was the air rushing into her ear canals. Dash’s conscious mind was dull while the primal urge to fly edged her forward.
Arriving at home, she almost couldn’t remember how she’d even gotten there. “Oh yeah, I flew.” The pegasus reassured herself out loud. She dropped her belongings from the hospital by the front door and flopped onto a couch. “This is the life!” The rainbow maned mare yawned as she laid back and got comfortable. Gaping her mouth open again and letting out another loud yawn, Dash felt very tired. “I guess I forgot how much flying takes out of you.” She yawned one last time, stretched, and quickly fell asleep.
Rainbow Dash approached Sugarcube Corner and opened the door. The bell rang, and she was greeted by two of her friends, Applejack and Rarity. “Howdy Rainbow! Come and join us for tea!” Applejack called.
The pegasus walked to the table the two were seated at and also sat down. Rarity poured her a cup of tea using magic. Dash took a sip, but found that it didn’t taste like anything. “Darling, how have you been? We haven’t spoken in ages!” Rarity asked in her usual melodramatic sounding voice.
“But Rarity, we talked just two days ago! You know I’ve been in the hospital!” Dash responded. “I’m doing awesome though!” She took another sip of the oddly tasteless tea, which Applejack seemed to be really enjoying.
The white unicorn seemed annoyed at the loud slurping noises. “Must you do that?” She huffed.
Applejack stopped her slurping and huffed back. “Where I come from, slurping is a sign of respect! It means that whatever you’re slurping is really, really good!” She stated and went back to slurping.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Anyways…” She took a petite sip of tea, “I’ve invited Twilight over to chat with us!”
Dash spit out the tea she had been drinking all over the two ponies in front of her. “What!” Her breathing became shallow and fast. Whatever had her feeling cool and collected before suddenly left. Panic swept over her, but she couldn’t place a hoof on why. It was on the tip of her tongue! Why was she always so forgetful?
“Golly girl!” The earth pony hollered. “I know you two had a bit of a falling out after that accident, but I know it ain’t all that bad!” She scooted her chair closer to Rainbow Dash and spoke quietly. “All you gotta do is tell her that you’re sorry. She’s an understanding pony, she’ll see where you’re coming from.”
“But Applejack!” The pegasus pony said in between gasps. “I can’t say sorry to Twilight!”
“Why not?” Insisted Applejack.
“Because Twilight is… is…”
Suddenly, the door to Sugarcube Corner opened. Standing there was Princess Twilight Sparkle, ready to meet with the ponies inside.
Dash screamed.
-~-
Covered from head to hoof in cold sweat, Rainbow Dash woke suddenly from her dream. Emotion crashed over her as the events that took place on the mountain flooded back into her memory. Tears flowed openly down her cheeks and she began hyperventilating. “Twilight…” She sniffed. “...Why?”
The pegasus pony laid face down on the couch and wallowed in sorrow. She bawled and sobbed. The cold sweat dried on her coat and caused her to shiver and shake more than she would have normally. Her dream repeated over and over again in her head, each replay becoming more and more exaggerated. Soon she was tossing and turning on the couch, crying silently.
Eventually the overwhelming sadness departed enough for her to start thinking about other things. Slowly but surely, her mind dug itself out of the ditch it had dug. First she thought about Twilight’s funeral. When would it be? How many ponies would show up? Applejack probably knew. Applejack! She promised Applejack that she would visit as soon as possible. Maybe talking to the earth pony would make her feel better.
But Dash continued laying on the couch. She wanted to get up, but at the same time she just wanted to lay there a little bit longer. Applejack would understand if she didn’t come over today. Just a little bit longer…
Then her stomach growled. “Come on!” Dash exclaimed. She forced herself to get up and stretch. The rainbow maned mare shuffled slowly to the front door and opened it. The Summer heat hit her and she once more considered staying home. Her hunger edged her forward, and she took off towards Sweet Apple Acres.
-~-
Flying to Applejack’s farm felt like a chore. Dash’s body felt heavier than usual, and she felt bored and tired. Though the flight took all of ten minutes, it felt like ten hours. Finally the pegasus arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was busy tending to the orchard, but spotted the rainbow maned mare and waved. “Howdy Rainbow!” She yelled. Dash landed gently next to the farmer. “Good to see you! How you feeling?” Applejack asked.
“I’m alright.” Rainbow Dash answered. “I just woke up from a nap. I had the weirdest dream!” She explained.
Applejack laughed. “Oh you and your crazy dreams! Next you’ll be telling me about how you had a dream about Pinkie drugging you and gutting you or something crazy like that!”
Dash cringed. She couldn’t imagine what she’d do if she had a dream like that. “Yeah… Anyway, what do you want to do?”
The earth pony pondered. “I don’t know. I just wanted to talk or something.”
“Like, hang out?” Dash questioned.
“Yeah, I guess. I thought you’d be curious about, you know, Twily’s funeral and whatnot.” Applejack replied.
The pegasus pony looked sadly at the grass below her. “I was wondering about that…”
“But we don’t have to talk about it if it makes you too sad, it isn’t for a while.” The blonde mare stated. “It takes them a bit to arrange a sudden funeral for a princess, they’re as new to this as the rest of us are.”
“N-No, it’s fine. I’m fine with discussing it. In fact, that’s what I came over here for.” Rainbow Dash explained. “Mind if we go inside? It’s getting hot out here.”
“Sure thing, sugarcube.” Applejack replied, and the pair made their way inside the Apple family’s small home.
The kitchen was small. Even with just the two mares inside it felt cramped. Being packed so tightly together during meals surely brought the Apples closer, both figuratively and literally. Dash and Applejack took seats at the table in the center of the room.
“So, what all is planned for… Twilight’s… you know?” Dash asked.
Applejack shook her head. “Well, like I told you before, not much is certain. Rarity is doing a lot of collaborating with the princesses to make sure all of it’s done right.” She cleared her throat. “What I do know is…”
Rainbow Dash looked down at her lap. The earth pony’s words all jumbled together. “...There will only be a few of us…” The pegasus pony’s mind was racing, and didn’t have the capacity to decipher whatever it was her friend was going on about.
This wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t made Twilight try flying like that. What was I thinking? She studied her hooves under the table. Twilight even knew that something was wrong. I should have listened to her. I should have.
“Hey.” The rainbow maned mare was brought out of her train of thought. “You alright?” Applejack looked extremely concerned.
Dash stroked her face and found that it was wet. Had she been crying? “Uh- yeah, I’m fine.” She stammered.
The blonde mare moved closer to Dash and began to comfort her. “I know that this kind of stuff is real sad.” Applejack sounded choked up. “Twilight was our friend, your friend. She loved all of us, as much as we loved her.” Now Applejack was crying. “But you can’t let it get to you. She would have wanted you to move on just as much as you want to grieve. If you keep thinking about it, you’ll get really sick, and nopony wants that.”
Dash was speechless. Tears flowed openly down her cheeks as she tried to come up with something to say. Thousands of sentences raced through her head, but none of them could make their way out of her mouth.
Instead of waiting for a response, Applejack pulled Rainbow Dash into a hug. Dash began sobbing. Applejack cried quietly, holding the pegasus close and tight.
She was sure that they’d get through this together.
Rainbow Dash tossed and turned in bed. She had awoken from another nightmare featuring Twilight Sparkle. In this one, she was at flying camp with Gilda. Another accident occurred, and Twilight perished once more. Dash sat up and cupped her head in her hooves. Crying oneself to sleep is one thing, but crying oneself awake is another.
A band of early morning sunlight filtered through Dash’s closed curtains. She found that she liked it dark in her house more often than not, and it helped with the headaches she had been having recently. Her messy rainbow mane matted onto her wet eyes and cheeks. Brushing the hair aside, she looked at the clock. Eight. An hour until work. Dash didn’t mind work, but the passion she used to have for it was gone. It seemed to drag on and on. But she didn’t mind because she had no where else to be.
The pegasus slowly made her way out of bed and stretched. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep forever. She thought. Like, I just wouldn’t wake up. Dash shuffled to the restroom and brushed her teeth and mane. Once she looked at least presentable, she walked to her kitchen. She picked out some hay cereal and milk then poured herself a bowl. Then she sat at the kitchen table alone and ate in silence. I really don’t want to go to work today. I just want to stay home and sleep.
But Rainbow Dash prepared to go to work anyway. She trotted out of the front door of her home and did a few wing stretches. I don’t feel like flying today. Yet she flew anyway. Flying had become a chore to the pegasus. She found it boring, and only flew when she really needed to, like to go to the store or when she needed to do her job. The rainbow maned mare looked down at the ponies below. As much as I don’t want to fly, I wouldn’t want to walk. She saw how they walked past one another and exchanged friendly greetings, even if they didn’t know each other. Then she realized how isolated she was up in the sky. There were a few pegasi flying below her closer to the ground, but she was alone higher up.
Soon enough, Dash arrived at the clouds she was moving that day. There was a thunderstorm scheduled near her house, and she didn’t mind. Dash found that she wasn’t bothered by much anymore. She had a hard time forming opinions about events in the news and drama unfolding amongst her friends. She even had a hard time making decisions on simple things, like what to buy or how to spend her afternoons after work. The pegasus just lived day to day, doing what she had to do.
Kicking clouds gave Rainbow Dash time to think. She often thought about seemingly random things. Anything to keep her from thinking about the incident with Twilight. Sometimes she would begin thinking about the purple princess. These times she was less productive with her job due to her occupied mind. Usually however, she was able to keep herself out of those dark depths.
-~-
Near the end of the day, the clouds were in place and were already drizzling. Some unprepared ponies ran for cover while Rainbow Dash flew into the rain. She landed outside her front door and shook herself dry. Trotting inside, she laid on the couch in her living room and yawned. Why am I always so tired? She asked herself. Of course, she didn’t have the answer. Her stomach growled loudly. Dang, I forgot about eating lunch today. Again. She facehoofed and reprimanded herself. Why am I so dumb?
Trudging over to the kitchen, Dash tried to decide what she wanted to eat. Some bread was on the counter, and the first thing her eyes landed on when she opened the fridge was a cucumber. Cucumber sandwiches it is then. The rainbow maned mare began cutting the cucumber and made herself a couple sandwiches. She sat at the kitchen table once more, and ate in silence.
I don’t want to go to Twilight’s funeral. She decided. It would be too sad. How would she handle it? Badly.
But how would she get out of going? Her friends would be upset if she didn’t go. Or would they? Applejack definitely would, being a more family-orientated pony. Fluttershy would understand. Probably.
Rainbow Dash began to get a headache. She always did when she started overthinking things. She shuffled through her bedroom into the bathroom and looked for the pain reliever. She popped a couple into her hoof and swallowed them down. Dash began to walk back into her kitchen when she looked at her bed. Oh how it looked so comfortable. I just want to sleep. She had begun going to bed really early due to her fatigue. I could go hang out with one of my friends, but- The sound of thunder stopped her thinking process. Oh right. It’s raining.
Dash opened her mouth as wide as it could and let out a loud yawn. I don’t want to have another bad dream though. She started to think again. I could just try to stay up. The rainbow maned mare began pacing around her room, trying to stay awake. She yawned again. I really, really do not want to have another bad dream. She trotted to the wall and hit her head against it. Ow. That didn’t help my headache. She rubbed a hoof against her forehead.
I wonder… Something in her mind began to bend. What if I just… Dash shuffled into the bathroom once again. She looked over the few bottles of pills she had acquired only recently. No, I couldn’t do that. Could I? Her gaze landed on the sleeping pills she bought to help her rest, though she barely needed them. “Nah…” She mumbled.
Then Dash really began thinking. There was one way she could avoid having to go to Twilight’s funeral, and one way she wouldn’t have to have any more bad dreams. Plus she wouldn’t have to go to work anymore, among many other things.
She wouldn’t have to feel so bad anymore.
The rainbow maned mare found that she was pacing. It was another habit she had picked up. Her head didn’t hurt as much anymore, and she could think clearly. “Yeah…” She began to think out loud. “What if I just went to sleep forever?”
But then she started to panic. What if she went to sleep forever? Her friends would miss her, and she’d miss them. I’d miss out on all the cool stuff in life, like joining the Wonderbolts. Then she stopped pacing. But what if I’m not good enough to join the Wonderbolts? Dash looked down at the cloud floor below. What would I do if they said that I couldn’t join? Her face began to feel hot and wet. A few tears dropped onto the floor and were absorbed by the clouds.
Dash stumbled around her room while she contemplated the consequences of what she could do next. She had heard stories about ponies who had assumedly gotten fed up with life and ended it. Their families and friends they thought they didn’t have grieved their death and retold the horrors of finding their loved one’s body. The pegasus imagined Fluttershy coming into her home and having to discover her. She began blubbering and hiccuping loudly.
Yes, Rainbow Dash loved her friends. But what about her own needs? Everyday was becoming the same blur, nothing too exciting was happening like it used to. Especially without Twilight. It’s my fault that nothing is happening anymore, Twilight always got us into crazy things. Daily challenges included simply getting out of bed and bathing. It became work to meet up with friends, and when she did get together with some ponies, she often found herself bored and not wanting to do anything.
The rainbow maned mare looked over the bottle of sleeping pills. What if they don’t work and I just wake up the next morning? She pondered the physical consequences. How much will it hurt? Will I get really sick before I… die? Saying that word to herself made something snap. The loud blubbering from a few minutes before began once more. She threw the bottle of pills on the ground with a satisfying rattle.
“I can’t do it!” Dash screamed out loud. She galloped into her bedroom and jumped onto the cloud bed. She rolled around in the sheets while she bawled. What can I do?I can’t live like this anymore! She screamed internally. Twilight would know what to do. She’d probably tell me something like “you gotta see a professional!” The pegasus calmed down at this thought. Her bawling was reduced to silent crying and a few hiccups. She fell quickly into an unrestful sleep.
Even though she wasn’t sure how it could help her, Rainbow Dash decided she needed help.
Awaking from a dreamless sleep, Rainbow Dash rolled around lazily and tangled herself up in the sheets. She opened her mouth wide and yawned. Shifting off of the bed, the pegasus shook off the blankets onto the floor and trotted into the bathroom. After cleaning herself up, she made her way into the kitchen and fixed herself some oat cereal.
Dash sat at her kitchen table in solitude. The events of the night before slowly came back to her. She ate slowly spoonful by spoonful as she pondered how exactly she would be able to get the help she knew she needed. Would I even be able to get any real help? Nopony can just fix another pony’s thoughts. The rainbow maned mare looked down sadly. What if I can’t be fixed? She finished her breakfast and headed for the front door.
The pegasus opened the door and peered outside. It was a bit damp from the storm the night before, but otherwise it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining through a few clouds making it warm yet pleasant. There was a slight breeze that flowed through Dash’s mane and gave her goosebumps. She stretched her wings in preparation to fly. The moment she took off, instinct took over. She soared quickly to her destination, thinking of what to say once she got there. The more anxious she became, the longer the journey seemed to take.
After what felt like an hour, Rainbow Dash arrived at Sugarcube Corner. She walked in the door and the bell to signal an arrival rang. Mrs. Cake greeted her. “Hey there Rainbow! Haven’t seen you around in a while.” She put down a tray of pastries on the counter. “Pinkie Pie! Rainbow Dash is 3here!” The pink maned mare called.
“Coming!” Dash heard her friend yell from another part of the building. Pinkie suddenly appeared behind her. “Heya Dashie!” Dash yelped and jumped.
“Pinkie, there is no need to startle your friend like that!” Mrs. Cake stated with concern. Pinkie Pie huffed.
Dash shook her head. “It’s no big deal Mrs. Cake. I’m used to Pinkie. After all, we’re best friends! I just haven’t seen her in a while, that’s all.” She turned to look at the party pony. “You wanna go hang out someplace?”
The pink earth pony bounced with excitement. “You haven’t wanted to do anything in a while! What do you want to do? Play pranks, have me watch some of your stunts?”
“Well, I was thinking that maybe we could just talk, you know?” The rainbow maned mare responded.
“That sounds good, let’s go!” Pinkie lead Dash out the door, and the two walked out into town.
-~-
Ponies were everywhere. Street vendors pushed their goods towards families who would quickly refuse the offer and scuttle away. Pegasi flew over the crowds of earth and unicorn ponies below. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie stayed shoulder to shoulder in order to keep from losing each other in the masses.
“Then I said, you’ve got to be kidney me!” Pinkie laughed hysterically.
The pegasus pony laughed. “It sounds like you really enjoyed your anatomy class!”
“Yeah, the dissections were the best part!” The party pony answered. Most of the conversation they had was one-sided, Pinkie doing most of the talking. Dash didn’t mind, however she wished that she had more to say. Once they got to where ever they were going she was sure to be talking more.
There were fewer ponies and fewer buildings as the two finally made it out of town. They settled beneath an old tree near a stream. It was warmer than before, but in the shade of the tree it was nice and cool.
“I thought that here would be a nice place to chat.” Pinkie Pie explained. “I can tell that you want to talk about something super serious.”
Dash cocked her head. “How could you tell that?”
“My Pinkie Sense, of course! My left knee is itchy.” She scratched her knee for emphasis. “Anyway, what’s up?” She asked, face full of wonder.
The blue pegasus sighed. “I don’t know if you’ll really understand where I’m coming from, but just hear me out.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “This might be a little hard for me to talk about, so please bear with me.”
“Everyday when I wake up, every single day, I wish I hadn’t. I always have these terrible dreams that make me not want to go to sleep even though I wish I could just sleep forever. I don’t like my job anymore, I barely like hanging out with my friends anymore, heck, I don’t even like to fly anymore!” Her voice began to crack and her face felt hot. “This all started after Twilight died.” She began to sob.
Pinkie Pie leaned in close to Rainbow Dash and hugged her. “I know you’re sad about Twilight, Dashie. Everybody is.” She leaned back and made a pouty face at the pegasus. “But it is kind of bad to feel that sad.
Dash huffed. “You’re telling me.”
“It might not seem like it, but I was about as sad as you are once.” The party pony began to explain. The rainbow maned mare looked on in disbelief as Pinkie began her story.
“Before I threw my first party and got my cutie mark, thanks to you, my life sounds like it was about as bleak as yours sounds. Working on a rock farm is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Pinkie stated. Dash had never really thought about what it must have been like to work on a place called a rock farm. The earth pony continued. “Everyday I’d wake up at dawn with my sisters and start my work. It was not very fun…” Dash could’ve sworn she saw Pinkie’s balloon-like mane deflate a little. “While I loved my family and they loved me, they were also not too fun to be around. Me and my sisters would play games like kick-the-rock and who-can-throw-the-rock-the-farthest, but those got boring after a while. Plus we got in trouble for playing with the produce.” The party pony sighed. “Sometimes I just didn’t want to wake up to another boring day.”
Rainbow Dash was surprised. She knew that Pinkie Pie’s life wasn’t all that great before she earned her cutie mark, but she didn’t know that it affected her so much. She always seemed so optimistic.
“My life back then doesn’t sound as bad as yours does now, but I still asked for some advice.” At this statement, Dash saw Pinkie’s mane perk back up. “My dad took me to town after I threw my first party because I was still feeling down and he was worried. I went to a counselor and they suggested that I move to a larger town, so they helped me find Mr. and Mrs. Cake and they let me move in and gave me a job.” Pinkie smiled once more. “I’m so thankful I was able to change my life that day. Otherwise, I would have never found you or all my other friends!”
The pegasus pony pondered what her pink friend had just told her. “That’s good I guess.” She acknowledged. “But… You weren’t dealing with what I’m dealing with.”
“You’re right, I wasn’t. I still don’t know what you’re dealing with.” Pinkie replied.
Dash let out a breath. “Pinkie Pie… It’s my fault that Twilight died.” Tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she admitted her mistakes. Retelling the story of that fateful day was emotionally painful beyond anything the pegasus had dealt with, other than dealing with that day itself.
“And that’s why I feel so bad Pinkie, it’s all my fault!” Dash hiccuped as she completed telling her tale.
Pinkie Pie was in shock. “Dashie,” she began. “Dashie, it isn’t your fault!” She quaked.
“It is my fault! I shouldn’t have made her go off that mountain! I shouldn’t have started her off so quickly like that!” The pegasus pony bawled.
The pink mare shoved a hoof into the crying pony’s mouth. “Now you listen here Dashie!” She pulled Dash close. “Everypony makes mistakes. One time I ate an entire one-hundred and seventy-three layer wedding cake that was meant for two stallions! Not only did I have the worst tummy ache in the entire universe, but I had two very angry ponies who wanted a refund! Mr. Cake had me clean all the dishes for weeks! All of them, even if I just cleaned them the day before!” Pinkie ranted.
“That doesn’t have anything to do with this!” Dash yelled back.
“No it doesn’t! Sorry!” Pinkie Pie apologized. “But I do want you to know that it really isn’t your fault that Twilight isn’t around anymore. I’m sure that there is more to your story than you told me. You wouldn’t just let Twilight fall, because you were her friend. Even if you still believe that it is your fault, you just gotta know that everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others.” Pinkie Pie pulled the pegasus into a hug. “I still love you Dashie, you’re my best friend. I don’t care what you do, I still will always love you. Through thick and thin! But you need to get some help. I’m glad that you came to talk to someone, even if it was just me.”
Inside Fluttershy’s cottage it was cramped and hot. There were a few birds in their birdhouses and a few small mammals in the cottage, but most of the animals were outside in the warm Summer sun. Five pastel colored ponies sat in a circle in the living room. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie sat on the couch while the three other ponies, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity sat on wooden chairs around them.
“I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today,” Pinkie Pie began their conversation. “We’re here to help our friend Dashie!” She motioned towards the blue pegasus, then placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Dash, this is an intervention.”
Rainbow Dash winced. “What are you talking about?”
“There is nothing to be worried about darling, all of us are here to help you.” Rarity stated.
Applejack spoke, “I hope that you’re willing to cooperate with us.”
The party pony continued, “Dashie here is feeling really, really sad. Like, so sad. So sad that she doesn’t want to do anything anymore.” She looked down sadly and her mane deflated a little. “So sad that she doesn’t want to… live anymore…”
A startled gasp filled the room. “Rainbow… you don’t want to… live anymore…?” Fluttershy quaked.
The rainbow maned mare held her head low and felt her face begin to get hot. A few tears formed in her eyes, but didn’t quite make their way down her cheeks. I knew this would suck. She thought. “Pinkie, can you…?”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Dashie asked if I would talk for her during the meeting, because this is hard for her to talk about.”
The three ponies nodded.
“I understand.” Fluttershy mumbled.
The pink earth pony began to speak for her friend. “Rainbow Dash says that every day for her is a total bore-fest. She doesn’t like her job and she doesn’t really like to meet up with us anymore, as you probably all have noticed.”
The three ponies nodded once more.
“Can I say something?” Applejack asked.
“Sure!” Pinkie replied.
“You can’t think that working on an apple farm is the most exciting occupation in all of Equestria, can you Dash?” The farmer questioned.
The cyan pegasus shook her head lightly.
“Sometimes I just don’t want to do work. I think to myself; ‘jeez, I just really don’t feel like bucking trees all day long!’ but do I still do it? Of course I do!” Applejack stated enthusiastically. “You just have to put your all into it and get her done! Some other ponies are depending on you, whether you know it or not.”
The rainbow maned mare looked up at Applejack. “I guess you’re right. Sometimes I don’t really feel like kicking and pushing clouds around, but somepony is depending on me to form the right weather pattern for the day.” She acknowledged.
The blonde mare nodded her head. “That’s right. Your job is very important, just like you.” She smiled. “You’re a very important pony. You’re the Element of Loyalty for Luna’s sake!”
Rainbow Dash looked up and blushed. “I am pretty awesome. Without me, how would the weather team even function?” She laughed, and the other ponies joined her.
“May I add something now?” Rarity asked.
“Of course.” Dash replied.
The white unicorn cleared her throat. “This may be hard for you to hear, and I understand that. But I think it may be a good idea to get some professional advice on how you feel.”
The rainbow maned mare looked down at the ground again. “Yeah… I was thinking about that.” She sniffled. “But do you think it would actually help?”
“Of course darling!” Rarity gasped. “I’ve been through my fair share of emotional problems and have had to seek out advice from those wiser than myself, or any of you girls. Just because you ask for help doesn’t mean that you are weak.” She explained.
Rainbow Dash huffed. “Not like I’ve heard that one a million times before.”
The fashionista spoke. “It isn’t like it’s not true. You’re one of the strongest ponies I know, but everyone needs help every once in a while. We want you to be safe because we love you, Dash.”
The cyan pegasus sniffled loudly. One of the tears in her eyes traveled down her face to her chin. Why is it so hard for me to hear that my friends love me? She wiped it away with a gentle hoof.
Pinkie Pie placed her hoof on Dash’s shoulder once more. “So Dashie, are you willing to get some help?” She asked.
“It’s gonna be a lot of hard work on your part.” Added Applejack.
“We’re only asking this of you to help you.” Stated Fluttershy.
“Because we love you.” Rarity cheered.
Rainbow Dash had a steady stream of tears flowing down her face at this point, but she was silent. “Yes, I am.” She whispered. It’s what Twilight would have wanted.
All of her friends were joyous and gathered her up in a large group hug. Fluttershy whispered to Dash, “Would you mind staying a while after everyone else leaves?”
The rainbow maned mare nodded.
-~-
“Tea?” Fluttershy asked, before pouring a cup of the hot liquid for herself.
Rainbow Dash responded, “Yes please.” Then held her cup out allowing for her yellow pegasus friend to pour her a cup. She took a sip and her senses were overwhelmed by the minty flavor. “This is really good!” She complimented.
Fluttershy took a sip out of her cup and shivered. “Oh, that’s strong. Thank you.” She remarked.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Dash inquired. What could be so important that she needed to tell me about it in private?
The quiet yellow pegasus mumbled. Then she looked away nervously while taking a sip of her tea.
Dash cocked her head to the side. “Uh, could you repeat that please?” She asked.
“Uh, I’m really worried about you.” Fluttershy whispered. “We didn’t really talk much about… how you feel… you don’t want to be alive anymore…”
The rainbow maned mare shifted uneasily in her seat. “Yeah… Pinkie Pie didn’t really tell you guys the entire story.” She cleared her throat. “Well, she kind of paraphrased it anyway. You see, it’s kind of hard living when you know that it is your fault that one of your best friends isn’t around anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
Rainbow Dash shuddered. “Well, I was giving flying lessons to Twilight when the accident took place. It’s my fault that she wasn’t safer, I shouldn’t have made her start off on that mountain. It would have been easier for her if we just started on a small hill or something. Not on a freaking cliff!”
Fluttershy swallowed some more tea. “Oh Dash, you know that it wasn’t your fault. You said it was an accident, and I know you wouldn’t do something like that on purpose.”
Dash hit her head. “Everyone keeps saying that to me. But it is my fault that she did that, and you all know it! You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
“Please don’t hit yourself…” Fluttershy whispered uncomfortably. “I am trying to make you feel better. But it really isn’t your fault. I’m sure that something went wrong and you just weren’t able to keep her from falling.”
“I do remember that day being awfully breezy, maybe a strong gust of wind blew us out of control…” The cyan pegasus pondered. “But it still is my fault that I wasn’t able to save her if that was the case. I saved the Wonderbolts for crying out loud!” She held her head in her hooves.
“Dash,” Fluttershy began consoling, “I’m glad that you came to talk to us all, because I can’t stand to see you like this. You really should ask for some real advice, I’m sorry that I’m not really helping…”
“No Fluttershy, you’re doing great. You’re right, I really do need some help. I don’t know if it will work, but I should at least give it a try.” Dash replied. “I feel like it is something that Twilight would have said to me, she always knew the right thing to do.”
The yellow pegasus nodded. “Oh!” She exclaimed. “I had something I really wanted to tell you about.”
“Oh yeah?” Dash asked.
Fluttershy spoke quietly. “You know back in flying school when I was getting bullied?”
Dash knew exactly what she was talking about. There were quite a few ponies who made fun of Fluttershy for all kinds of different things, for stupid things. Like how she didn’t like to fly, how she was too skinny, how she may or may not have used mane and tail extensions. Rainbow Dash never bullied her, and even tried to defend her from time to time. She hated seeing other ponies in pain. “Yeah.”
Fluttershy began mumbling again. She coughed and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry Fluttershy, but I didn’t hear you.” Dash stated.
“Sorry.” She whispered. She wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath and spoke again, this time louder and more clearly. “Back then I felt about the same way you do now… I didn’t want to live anymore.”
Rainbow Dash was taken aback. I didn’t realize that teasing made her feel that bad! She thought. It does make sense though, I have heard stories of ponies at school taking their own lives just because they were being made fun of.
“Fluttershy, I’m so sorry.” Dash muttered.
“I’m fine now, Dash.” Fluttershy reassured. “Now I have a lot of friends, and no one makes fun of me anymore. But it was hard pulling myself through those days at school. But I did it, or else I may not be here today.”
The cyan pegasus was a bit choked up. She hiccuped, and a tear made its way down her cheek.
“It’s okay to cry, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone.” added Fluttershy. “I just hope that you heed the advice you got from your friends here today and get yourself some help.”
