> Paradise > by PinkiePieOverlordOf All > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Everytime She Closed Her Eyes > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you're reading this, then give me back my diary you jerk! Gotcha, I'm only joking. My name is Peppermint Twist. I live in my Mom's candy shop in Ponyville, Equestria. I'm writing in this diary because sometimes I get really sad and I don't know who I should talk to. Mommy's great and all, but she spends a lot of time with her marefriend, Lyra. Lyra's nice too, but I wish I knew my dad. That would be so cool, we could play catch, and bake sweets, and all of the stuff I do with Mommy when she isn't too busy. Mommy told me he went to Paradise, but I found a newspaper clipping in the attic that said he got hit by a carriage. When I asked Mommy, she said that when ponies die they go to Paradise. I told her I wanted to get hit by a carriage too, and she started crying. I still don't know why. I had a really cool dream the other night. Applebloom still liked me, because I never got my cutie mark, and she made me a cutie mark crusader. I used to love my cutie mark, but now Applebloom never plays with me anymore. I do have friends though, honest: Miss Cheerilee, Mommy and Lyra, the school librarian, and you, Diary. Sometimes I wish I had some friends my age. I tried talking to Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon, but they called me a whore. I don't know what that means, but when I told Mommy she made me see the school counselor, and he gave me this diary. It must be a really mean word. I know lots of words, but I never heard that one. Miss Cheerilee says that I'm elequint eloquent (I looked it up in my dictionary) for my age. I don't think so though. I have a stupid lisp that makes me talk dumb. It's like an accent but not as cool. Applebloom has a really cool accent. And pretty hair. I think she's the coolest filly in our class. She gets teased for her blank flank a lot, but I get left out because I have a cutie mark. I think it's probably just me. I'm probably just a weird space alien that oozes invisible magic that makes ponies not like me. Applebloom doesn't tease me like everypony else, but her friend Scootaloo does. She called me a worthless freak the other day. I think she's just sad because Diamond said the same thing to her at recess the same day. Sometimes I just want to punch her and Scootaloo, and tell them to not be mean. We studied the Elements of Harmony in class yesterday. Miss Cheerilee says one day Applebloom's sister and her friends will get too old to keep fighting bad guys, and then the Elements will select their next wielders. Can you believe it? I could be going to school with the next Elements of Harmony. We took a quiz to see which Element we represent. I got generosity, but Scootaloo says that I would be the Element of Nerdiness. That made me sad. I thought Applebloom would be the same as her sister, but it turns out she got loyalty. She wasn't very loyal to me. Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon both got honesty. I think that they should be the Elements of cruelty and brattiness. I lost it today. Scootaloo tripped me, so I called her a chicken. I don't know why that bugs her so much, but I'd heard her arguing with Applebloom about it. Miss Cheerilee gave me detention. I feel so bad. I wrote Scootaloo a sorry note, but she threw it away. Sweetie Belle and her big sister saw me crying on my way home today and they bought me a cupcake and asked me why I was sad. I told them about Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara, and Daddy and the carriage, and Paradise, and Mommy and Lyra. Sweetie Belle got really mad and said that she was gonna kick Scootaloo's flank. She invited me over to play dolls. Rarity says she knows my Mommy, and she's gonna tell her what happened and where to pick me up. When Mommy came to get me she was crying. The blue and the pink in her mane were all jumbled up. It looked weird. She hugged me really tight and then we went out to dinner, just me and her. I told her that I got detention, but she didn't get mad. She just said that it was Scootaloo's fault for being a bully. I had never thought of her as a bully, but Mommy was right. She was bullying me. It's getting really easy to fake a smile. Nopony really knows just how sad I really am Scootaloo told Sweetie Belle that I started it, and Sweetie won't be my friend anymore. I wish.... I don't really know what I wish. I think I wish I was in Paradise with Daddy. Mommy says to not say that, but I'm not saying it. I'm writing it. A carriage went by my house really fast today, and I wished I was in front of it. Mommy is my only real friend. I got detention so Miss Cheerilee doesn't like me anymore. I decided to tell Lyra how I felt, because I didn't want Mommy to cry. She told me that a weak pony is mean, and a strong pony is kind even when others are mean to her. She played me a lullaby on her harp. I think I love Lyra like an extra Mom. She's really nice to me, and she makes yummy sandwiches. I tried it today. I went in front of a carriage. It hurt. I didn't go to paradise I went to the hospital. I got my leg in a cast, but Mommy, Lyra, and Cheerilee are the only ponies who signed it. Mommy is making me see a physcologist psychologist now. His name is Thoughtful Reflection. It's a weird name. I don't think his parents were good at naming colts. He doesn't seem very nice because he never smiles at me. I think I might hate him. He's just so grumpy and he thinks he knows everything. Mommy says I have to see him even though I don't want to. Diamond Tiara says that I should try to go to Paradise again because no pony likes me. I told her that no pony likes her either because she's mean. I didn't say mean though. I called her the B-word. I got suspended. Miss Cheerilee hates me now. I know it. I think I want to do what Diamond said. I'm just so sad. Mommy read my diary. She cried and then she got mad. She hugged me and lectured me at the same time. She's sending me to the hospital. I'm not sick, so I don't know why she wants me to go. They're not letting me take my pen so I have to say bye now. %%%% A tear rolled down Twist's face as she reread her childhood diary for the third time. "Twist what's that?" "Nothing Daddy, let's go to that picnic now." "Alright sweetie, don't wanna keep your Grandma waiting."