WHOO! LOOK AT US!

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My eyes flutter open as the world spins around me, my head throbs from something, maybe I fell and hit a rock? Something.
I finally open my eyes to see....well..something. All I can see is a cascading rainbow of colors, all in what seems to be a thermal filter.
I groan as I bring up a gauntleted hand up to my head. 'Huh? Gauntleted?' The thought strikes me as odd, but sure enough, after blatant and quick observation, I have a gauntlet on my hand. A nice one at that.

"Ooooh. Shiny!"

I spin my wrist around so I can view my whole hand and sure enough. It's protected too. The armor is a jet black, with crimson paint trails going along it. I look down at myself and nearly piss myself in excitement. The armor I'm wearing. Is a Space Marine's armor.
I jump for joy as I realize my dream has come true! When I hit the ground, several strange weights, pull across my waist and lower back. I reach to the one on my waste and gasp.

"No fucking way."

I am proven wrong as I pull a huge blade from a sheath on my hip. The sword has a broad blade and the hilt is colored like gold, with the pommel shaped like a two headed eagle, but it's metal blade sparks with a fiery electric spirit.

"NO WAY! I'VE GOT A POWER SWORD!"

I quickly sheathe the sword and reach to my back, where I feel another handle, I quickly but carefully pull the item off my armor's mag-locks(With some difficulty until I remembered the suit is thought controlled.) I take in another sharp breath of air as I stare at the beauty in front of me. In my hand is a Bolter pistol, jet black with a golden skull embossed on both sides. I fumble to eject the magazine and yell out in joy as I realize I have a full clip. I quickly take stock of the entirety of my Armor. Along with my other weapons, I have some high explosives, with the words 'Melta-Bomb' in big bold letters on them.
Don't know what those do. Along with that, a combat knife and a few clips of ammo. I smile as I take stock of my surroundings.
I appear to be in some kind of forest, the leaves are colored green, some splotches of rot here and there, but in overall good health. Continuing to look around, I note that the vegetation is extremely dense and liable to hold not just food, but things that want food. Me food. I look up to take in the sky, Noticing a trail of smoke, I decide to make my way there.
Hell, maybe I didn't come alone.

I had been tromping through the forest for about ten minutes now, and the cause of the smoke was just up ahead. Pushing some annoying branches out of the way, I can see that the smoke is coming out of a pit. Walking over, I freeze as I see what's in it.
Laying below me, in a mound of dirt. Is a Spartan. A Spartan II to be exact. His armor pattern fit mine with the main being Jet black with Crimson secondary colors. He looks to be outfitted in some standard gear, Mark V helmet and the rest followed suit on the Mark V Armor.
I was about to jump down to help him, or at least see if he was alive. When he groaned and stirred about. Finally he sat up and reached up and twisted his helmet to the side, releasing any pressure with a hiss, and pulled his helmet off, coughing for air.. I gasped as I saw his face.

His hair was a blackish brown, with the gruff goatee he sported being the same. His eyes were a brown that sparkled with know-how and knowledge. His hair was flat, not shaved, but short.

It was my cousin, Maxis.

"MAXIS?!?!" I yelled in surprise, my Vox grille amplifying my voice to deafening levels.
This caught his attention(and pain) as he looked up at me and his eyes went wide with fear. He scrambled to the edge of the pit and jumped out, backing away a little before he blurted words in a panicked tone.

"Hail the Emperor! Death to the heretics, umm....kill any advance!"

I stared at him and laughed before pulling my own helmet off, revealing my face. My hair was buzzed short with a slightly taller mohawk down the middle, my eyes were colored brown and sparked with curiosity, married with a little insanity. My skin was white, as was his, though his was a little darker. I never did tan.

"Maxis! It's me, Tyranis!"

We stared at each other for a few seconds before finally breaking the silence.

"Dude, your a Spartan. A Gen Two if I'm right."

"And you're a Space Marine. A....Badass if I'm right."

We stared at each other for a little bit until I closed the distance between us.

"FUCK YEAH!" We high-fived each other, causing a loud metal bang in the clearing.

Maxis turned and pointed at an object with an audible gasp. I turned to where he pointed and nearly pissed myself in excitement....again.

Sitting just behind some shrubbery......Was a huge ass Mammoth. The Colossal vehicle soared above the ground for eighty feet, it's tires twenty feet high, along it's sides was a plethora of weaponry and ammunition, some of the cases were marked with a double headed eagle.

We looked back to each other for a second. Then ran to the beast. Hooping and hollering. Yelling in joy. We ran inside the open bay doors, passing by some warthogs, massive open doored vehicles, capable of laying down suppressive and destructive fire with the mounted machine gun on the back., and oddly enough a hornet, a strange halfbreed between a jet fighter and a transport helicopter. We ran up the stairs and onto the second floor, squealing with glee at all the weapons stored here.
Some MA5D Assault rifles, and a type of single-shot infantry rifle with a detachable scope, all on the side Maxis was on.
On the side with me, was a entire row of bolter weapons. A Kraken Bolter, and some kind of long rifle, the barrel well over a foot and a half long, and a bolt big enough to brain a cow with, along with a nest's worth of other weapons for us both. All guns were in pristine condition.

After a few minutes of 'oohing' and 'ahhing' and 'check this shit out!' We finally decided to head inside the pilot's housing.
After a couple seconds of searching, we found a steel door, and after being scanned by this weird light that when it was done chimed. 'Welcome Lord Tyranis and Spartan Maxis.'

When we passed through the door, we expected some control consoles and steering wheels, but instead we found, a sort of lounge. Plush chairs, a bar, Lots of alcohol, an entire wall filled with jars of water (Which upon further inspection turned out to be MoonShine.) Some beds, and a podium with a pole going through it, and up to the ceiling. The whole room was nice and warm thanks to the walls being covered with the same material as the floor, a rose colored shag carpet.

"WhooWee, this place is pimpin'!" I said as I nudged Maxis in the arm with an armored elbow.

"Damn right, T"

"T?" Why would he call me 'T'

"Yeah, T, getting sick of referring to you by your full name."

"Okay...M"

"Fair Enough."

We walked through the door at the end of the room, and gasped in amazement.
Inside the room was a nice, neat space, the walls were a dull grey color, and made up of sheets of steel lined with computers, and monitors, and in before them were two chairs with wheels on the legs. We looked at each other for a second before sprinting and landing in those chairs. We didn't take a second to wait as we immediately set about trying to turn this beast on.

"Didja' find it?" I asked mark. Prodding the information out of him.

"No...No..Oh cool. Found it!"

"Yeah!" I yelled as I felt the engine come to life,and soon after, the windshield come to life as words were plastered across it.

'Welcome to the new Mammoth model, designated: Freight Train. This Model comes equipped with a oxidizing engine, meaning as long as there is air, you don't need fuel.'

"Whoo! Get a load of that! We don't need no Fuel!" I practically yelled at mark, caught up in my excitement.

"Man, this just get's better and better!"

We waited for the words to clear and as soon as they did, my eyes caught something on the horizon. By the looks of it, it seemed like a village, a pretty village of pinks, reds, and greens. A very pretty village.

"Hey, M, Take us over there, let's go see where we at."

"Okay, T, but then let's see about jobs, since we ain't got no money."

"We got guns."

"Now cuz, tjat ain't no way to make a living, unless you're doing some form of mercantile work, which then by all means go ahead."

"Oh fine, you ain't no fun. Okay, I take that back, you is a lot of fun. I mean, Come on! I'm a Space Marine and you're a Spartan! We even got bad ass armor!"

"Yeah, it is so fuckin' awesome!"

"Well, let's get going."

With those words, 'M' Pressed his foot on the gas, causing the behemoth to lurch forward, crushing trees and anything unfortunate enough to get caught under the titanic wheels. While 'M' Drove the beast, I went through the machine's armaments and armor stat's. I scrolled down on the touch screen, passing by several weapon's name's, until one caught my eye.

"Hey 'M' What in the hell's a Mini Mac?"

Fluttershy hummed happily as she watered her plants, stopping ever so often to smile at her animal friends. As she picked up the bucket to bring it to the next set of plant's. She noticed the water start to quake, then ripple, then slosh out of the bucket entirely.
"What in Celestia. Ew. Fluttershy, that sounded like a cheesy porn line."
The pony stopped as she heard a rumbling noise behind her, which soon turned into a roar. Thinking it may have been an injured animal, she quickly turned around, to behold the biggest animal she had ever seen. The beast was all white, with strange circular legs that seemed to carry it by rolling, the creature's eye was a long green strip of a shiny, reflective material.
Atop the beast sat several strange parasite's that latched on it's back, their weird bodies hanging in place.

Curious as to communicate with it, she flew up to it's eye and gently knocked on it, resulting in a loud ding.

"Um, excuse me....But...I was wondering, if you were okay? Do you need some water, some food maybe?"

Fluttershy waited for a response, but jumped when a hatch on the beast's side opened up and out stepped a strange biped.

It's body was made of metal, the shoulder's outsizing the head by far. It looked similar to an ape, a massive ape, as this one towered over her. She made a surprise 'EEK!' When the creature stood aside, and motioned inward within the beast with its paw.

"Would you like to come in Miss?"

"Umm....I guess..if that's okay with you. "

"don't worry, we won't bite."

Fluttershy let out another small squeak and gently flew inside, marveling at the architecture and the walls lined with boxes.
She was quickly led through a rose colored lounge that looked like it belonged in a stripclub. Passing through another door, she came into view of another creature. This one was smaller, with a single orange eye and it's body covered in a black and red metal, with some kind of strange skin under it. Upon entering the chamber, the creature turned around in it's chair, and spoke to the other one.

"Well, I see that you have procured our guest, tell me, what is her name? Oh and T? Talk formally, not in our regular way, so she may understand us better."

The creature, which she now knew was called 'T' returned the conversation with a tone that seemed....Archaic and old.

"Of Course M, we would not want our new friend here to think we're a group of simpleton's now would we?"

"Umm....excuse me, but what are you? And what is this place?"

'T' Walked over to his friend and took the chair next to the other one and wheeled it in Fluttershy's direction. Once she took a seat in the oversized chair. She decided that it would be best to let them talk.

"Well, dear, will you please tell us your name? I'm M and this is T."

"I'm.....Fluttershy."

"Ah, a lovely name that is, Fluttershy...Well, Fluttershy, you are currently on the vehicle dubbed 'Freight Train.' You see, My cousin and I have found ourselves to be in quite the predicament, we have no clue as to where we are, only that we woke up with all of this gear nearby. Can you fill in some blanks for us?"

Fluttershy glanced around nervously, but she bit her lip and stood proud. These creatures had no idea where they were and were probably scared. It was her duty to help them.

"Well, you're in Equestria, on Equis, and you're near Ponyville, which is that little town over there."

She pointed with a hoof over to the small village, just north of their position.

"Thanks dear. M, let's get going."

With those words, the machine she was in, lurched forward and started moving towards Ponyville. When T turned around, she caught a sight that made her quake with fear. A long, very long sword, hung at his hip, next to it was a smaller blade, about the size of a Guard's sword. there were a few boxes of metal somehow clinging to his armor. She gulped when she looked at the other one.
He wasn't as big, or armed, just what looked like a large knife mounted on his shoulder, and a smaller box of metal on his flank.
She quaked in more fear as she realized what these creatures were.

They were Soldiers.

Fluttershy quickly sprung into action, flying with all her might, she slammed herself into T, and latched on to his shoulder's.

"Please don't hurt them! I'm sorry for anything I did! Please, don't hurt my friends!"

T shot his face over to M, who merely shrugged at the glance.

"Why would we hurt them? they haven't done anything to us."

Fluttershy blinked through her tears, her face taking in a wondrous expression of awe.

"You're not going to hurt them? But you're armed?"

"Yeah, we are armed, but out of choice and necessity. We aren't here to hurt your friends."

"OH. OH! Well...that's good."

The rest of the trip went on in silence, and T finally took the time to sum up his guest.
She was a butter cream colored pegasus, with a long pink mane that matched the color of her tail. On her flank sat three pink butterflies, this caught T's curiosity. They would be there in a few minutes, so he decided to ask.

"Fluttershy, what are those marks and what do they mean?"

"Oh, these are CutieMarks, they resemble every single ponies special talent, mine is taking care of animals, don't you have one?
cause it looks like it could go on your left shoulder."

T looked to said shoulder, and sure enough, it was a blank space, his pauldron just an expanse of black metal.

"We don't get CutieMarks, but I know what I'll get here!"

T turned to face out the window, his mind full of thoughts as he stared at the ever closer village.

"Fluttershy, are there any great painters in Ponyville?"

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The 'Freight Train' Lumbered into the town, being careful not to tread on any ponies. M carefully guided the beast down into the village, stopping whenever we reached a tall building with a steeple. This looked important because there was a large crowd of ponies gathering in front of the building, all huddled in fear at the massive beast.
In the front of the crowd stood five stalwart looking mares, each ready to stand their ground, but each with a worried look on their faces.
Fluttershy squeaked at seeing so many ponies, and her friends all gathered there too. Just as she was about to leave the 'Freight Train' She stopped when she heard a familiar voice, amplified so the whole crowd could hear it.

"MY NAME IS LORD T! AND I HAVE COME FOR YOUR FEMALES!"

A series of gasps and looks of disgust and fear, rippled through the crowd, before once again being silenced by the voice.

"HA! NOT REALLY, JUST LOOKING FOR A JOB! ALSO, DOES ANYONE KN OW A GOOD PAINTER?"

The crowd burst into laughter at the revelation, everyone but four of the five mares in front.
There was a pink mare, all pink with three balloons as a CutieMark, who was busting up with laughter, snorting at times.
She was quickly silenced by the rest, who remained still until a lavender colored mare, with a dark purple mane with a pink street running through it stepped forward, unlike the other specimens seen, she had a horn and wings.

"I AM PRINCESS TWILIGHT OF EQUESTRIA, AND UNDER LAW, YOU ARE HEREBY UNDER ARREST, YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO THE CANTERLOT DUNGEONS, WHERE YOU WILL SPEAK TO PRINCESS CELESTIA, AND SHE WILL DECIDE YOUR FATE!"

Fluttershy wasted no time zipping out the door and down to her friends, who all gasped when they saw her.

"Fluttershy! We thought they got you!"
"Did they hurt you huh? If they did!"
"Oh dear! You must have been so scared in the company of those heathens!"
"Well, Shucks! I thought you was a goner!"
"Do they like pie?"

Fluttershy shrank back underneath the constant questioning, until she realized that her new friends would be in danger.

"Girls! I'm fine, don't worry. T and M have been very nice to me. They're just lost and are looking for a job. Oh and T is looking for a painter."

The girls all gasped, but not at Fluttershy, but rather at the thing behind her. Rainbow Dash flew straight up and stared into the face of the biggest one. Or at least she wanted to, but she didn't even know if it had a face. This was just a big metal helmet with two eyesockets, a flat nose and a flat scowl with several bars running through it. The smaller one just had an eye the color of bronze.

"So, you're this T guy huh? Well, put'em up! I won't have you terrorizing my town!"

The beast merely raised his paw, and pushed the pegasus out of the way, letting his smaller friend through.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

The giant merely walked towards the rest of the group,

"I do believe introductions are in order?"

Canterlot? Well now...

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"Well, Ah'm Applejack, pleased ta meet ya!"

The orange pony, with a blonder than the sun mane, wearing a stetson and having three apples as a cutiemark beckoned to herself.
I simply took her hoof and gave it a good shake. "Likewise."

"WellI'mPinkiePieandohmygoshwehaven'tgotyouawelcometoequestriaparty!ohmygoshhowcouldIforget!"

The mare simply wouldn't sit still, she kept bouncing up and down like a pink piston. I just decided to go along with it.

"Nice, I'll try."

The mare just simply stopped in midair with a confused look on her face. I turned to the next pony in line, a stark white mare with a lovely purple hued mane and tail.

"Well, dear, I am Rarity, owner of the Carousel Boutique, a name you'll become very familiar with, I'm sure."

I simply bowed my head, and turned to a lavender, apparently Princess pony. She was eyeing my armor and weapons with a curious eye. Scanning over every detail.

"Hmmm....Fascinating technology, though I have no idea how it works. I'll have to...Obtain...A sample for study."

"We can hear you, you know."

The Princess shot up from her observations with a sheepish smile, like she got caught with her hooves in the cookie jar.

"Oh, well, I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle. That over there is Rainbow Dash, you already met her. Now, who are you?"

My cousin and i shared a look before turning back to the ponies, through that quick glance, we decided it would be best to use our abbreviated names, instead of our full ones.

"I'm T" I gestured to myself before swinging my hand to my cousin. "And this is M."

"Your real names please, not your nicknames."

"We're T and M, That's all you need to know."

This got a visible reaction from the princess, as her eye twitched and her jawline set. She looked like she was going to protest further until a bright flash of light interrupted her. When the light subsided, there appeared to be another Princess, due to the facts of both wings and a horn, her coat was midnight blue, while her mane was filled with stars and flowed in the wind.
Her crown and necklace were made of a silvery substance with black onyx's set in them. What caught my attention though, was the pissed look on her face.

"DEAREST TWILIGHT SPARKLE, WE RECEIVED THY CALL FOR AID AND HAVE ANSWERED PERSONALLY, THIS BEAST WILL KNOW THE FURY OF THE MOON!"

Before I even knew what happened, the Princess tackled me to the ground, throwing up dirt and debris everywhere. I regained enough of my senses to block what looked like a wickedly curved scythe before it skewered my head on its downward swipe.
My instincts kicked in and while she struggled against my strength, I brought a boot up and planted it firmly into her stomach, sending her flying into some buildings, resulting in even more debris and destruction. When she climbed out of the rubble, she was sent flying to the side as M's fist impacted with her face. Taking my chance, I drew my power-sword and charged, yelling the most terrifying war-cry that came to mind, amplified by the vox, it shook windows and doors.

The Princess barely recovered in time to swing her scythe into my oncoming blade, the two blades clashing in a cascade of sparks. She stared into me with every ounce of fury she had. I met her gaze with every ounce of Anger I could muster.
She shifted her scythe, so as to get more leverage, and that was her mistake. Taking advantage of the now open defense, I pushed my blade to the side, carrying hers with it, and causing her to stumble. I wasted no time as I brought up my knee and smashed it into her chest. She uttered a cry as I felt her sternum flex with the blow. She was thrown back, landing on back then flipping over on her stomach. A clatter told me that her scythe had fallen away from her.
As I approached her fallen body, she gave me the ultimate glare of hate and suffering. She closed her eyes shut, tears streaking from them. "Do it." She muttered as I brought my sword high above my head, both of my arms flexing to give me the power needed. When I felt enough, I brought the blade down as hard as I could, I felt it go through something soft and stick in a stone beneath the ground.

Right beside her head.

She blinked in surprise at my mercy. Even more so, when i hauled her to her feet. Tears streaked their way down her face as she muttered something. "Why?"

"Because, when your subjects needed help, you pulled through for them, where I come from, nearly no leader would ever do that. Losing you would only worsen this place."

She released some more tears and a smile as I brought her to her feet. She surprised me by wrapping me in a tight hug, one that I felt underneath all the armor.

"I thank you, creature, but pray tell, what is thy name."

"The name's T, and that one over there is M."

"You mean the one currently holding down a certain Rainbow Pegasus?"

I looked back to find my cousin holding down Rainbow Dash with her forelegs placed behind her back and her muzzle into the ground.

"Yep that's him."

After a few minutes of cursing, hitting, and struggling, M was pried off Rainbow, leaving the two to give evil glares at eachother.
I decided to voice some concerns of mine. Like our stay being their work and any way of money we could take advantage of.

"So, why did you bring us here, with all this awesome stuff, if you were just going to attack us?"

The Princess gave a strange look, as if surprised at my question.

"But we did not bring you-"

"Oh no, she didn't, but I did." A strange voice, male in origin, giddily laughed as it spoke. There was a bright flash of light as a being materialized out of thin air. The body was long and wiry, covered in fur. The limbs were an assortment of creatures and it's eye's were yellow with devilishness. He, of which I assumed a he, based on the voice. He settled on the grass, conjured up a bowl of soup, drank the bowl, leaving the noodles to fill up with bowl soup. I watched this creature intently, summing up his form and his apparent chaotic powers. After he finished with his bowl's, he watched us just as intently.
I decided to embrace this creature as a friend. I stuck my hand out, getting a gleeful and shock filled response.
I decided to run introductions between us.

"So, I'm T and this is M. I am aware that you brought us here, may I inquire as to why?"

He sighed and assumed a relatively sad posture, his eyes looking hopeless.

"Well, I'm Discord, the spirit of chaos, the fun kind, not that other kind. Anyways, I brought you and your cousin here for a good reason. You see, there is a terrible crisis on the rise, and I am losing my power to it. No, I'm serious, this is the kind of, Mass War, situation. Yet, until this new enemy shows itself, I have no idea as to who. So who else to bring in but the best! Oh, you'll have so much fun discovering the little gifts I put into your DNA! Though, as a favor, I have enough power to bring in one more thing from any universe. You can trade one object for another, but that's it."

I turned to M, my hand reaching my helmet's chin in thought. "M, what do you think of this? You've been awfully quiet, plus, if we trade something, we'll each get something of our own."

M pulled his own hand to his chin in thought. His fingers scaling back and forth across the metallic surface. He eventually shrugged in a 'Shit sounds cool to me.' Manner.

"Well, I like to pilot stuff, so......I'll trade in the Hornet, seeing as T can't fit in it. So I'll trade it for a Pelican, outfitted for full combat pursuit. So I can drop him off but still bring the hurt."

Discord raised his claw up and snapped his fingers. The Hornet glowed a bright yellow, then it disintegrated into a fine mist that flew out of the Mammoth and onto the ground, only to be reshaped in the form of a Pelican, it's black and red hull and many guns shining with brilliance.
I raised my hand and motioned to me.

"Okay, my turn." I looked back to the Mammoth, in all its glory, it was severely undermanned, along with us, if we were to combat this threat, we would need forces.

"Okay Discord my friend. I would love to have about..say...Hundred or so Terran Marines, all volunteers, no convicts, all Loyal to me and M. Do you think you can do that, eh pal?"

Discord responded by furrowing his brow in concentration, hie claws emitting a yellow aura. After a few seconds, a hundred Terran marines walked straight up to T, their armor black and red and their visors a golden color. Their guns and pistols were a matte black with a glossy finish.They all stood about as tall as M, though a foot shorter than T. One with a red visor and a screaming skull etched into it, rested his rifle on his hip and spoke a few simple words.

"What needs done, Boss?"

The ponies around them however, looked on in pure astonishment at the display of tech and magic. One seagreen pony was nearly puking on the floor in excitement.

I turned and looked to Luna, my helmet bearing a gaze that pierced her living being.

"Now, let's go see that sister of yours."

Luna twiddled her hooves nervously. "Well, in order to have an audience with Celestia, one has to be either an Equestrian citizen, a delegate, diplomat, or a leader of a Nation."

I turned to M, our helmeted faces meeting in a brief train of thought. We both nodded and turned back to the Princess.
I unsheathed my sword and stuck it to the sky. My words yelled out in ferocity, so much, as to shake the windows in their place.

"Then we are the Emperor's of the Confederate Empire!"

Conquistadors

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The Mammoth resounded with the loud sound of Music

I moved around inside the mammoth's 'Penthouse.' I moved my head to the song before I raised the jug of moonshine to my lips and took a long drink. The fiery liquid leaving a burning sensation in my throat and chest. I walked by a bored looking Applejack, her face laying on the bar, and one of her hooves twirling the back of her ponytail.

"Why so glum?"

Applejack bounced up, her hoof getting caught in her mane for a second.

"Oh nuthin. It's just that, well, you got this here party and it's real nice, well, for a stallion. You got strippers and hookers all in 'ere but not an ounce of hard cider."

I slammed the jug into her chest, giggling as I saw her struggle to hold it up. She took a ginger sniff and gagged.

"Ew, this stuff smells like pure alcohol."

"That's cause it is."

I started dancing away, doing the moonwalk away from her. I passed by some Terran Marines doing some sort of disco dance from the eighties.
There hands meeting their hips and then pointing straight up in the air. "Work it boys!" I yelled over the noise. They didn't seem to hear me as they just kept doing the same thing.
I kept moonwalking past them, passing a rather busy M, who was covered in mares, his hands pre-occupied between their lower legs, and his mouth working another. "Damn bro, get some!"

I eventually stopped moonwalking and stopped by Luna, her face lit up in glee, and some curiosity.

"So, how do you like the party? Pulled a lot of strings to get her, okay not many. Just asked whoever if they wanted to party with some aliens."

"Oh, it is most joyous, but tell me? Where are we going?"

"To that big city on the mountain, gotta couple of boys piloting this beast."

In a single moment, all her calm demeanor drained away like a bottomless bucket. She did the equivalent of a face palm, a face hoof, and let out a long-drawn sigh.

"Sister is going to kill me."

I found one

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The mammoth lurched to a sudden stop. Throwing every passenger forward with a violent motion. I, personally, was thrown so far forward that I not only violated my scrotum on the stripper pole, but also violated the strippers ass with my helmet.

Removing myself from between the mountainous guardians of every man's prize, I gazed around the room.
Soldiers, ponies, strippers and supersoldier alike had been tossed in bundle. M was currently elbow deep in the mares he was 'playing' with, while said mares simply unconscious, their eyes laid back and their tongues rolling out.

I chuckled as I attempted contact with my pilots.

"Yo, pilot, we experiencing turbulence or a terrorist threat?"

"No sir, it would seem that the potato has been mashed sir."

"Oh. Well fuck, alright put her in drive and be prepared to flatten some rugs boys!"

"Sir, Yes Sir!"

I turned my attention to M, who was flailing his arms around desperately trying to dislodge himself from the strippers pleasure cave's.

"M! Drop the meat and grab the heat. We got mashed potatoes to rake out!"

M looked up at me with a determined look before gathering himself from the floor and sprinting behind me. I walked towards a ramp, stepping over Applejack, whom I noticed had a stem sticking out her ass. Fuck, those were my apples. I turned my attention to the ramp and hit the 'lower' switch.

The ramp creaked and groaned, and soon I could see light peaking through. I checked my gear, finding everything to be there. I looked back at M, who had placed his helmet on, but had no weapon, just the strippers

"Yep."

The ramp was nearly open now, and I began to walk out, M close behind me.
I was greeted by a tall pony, her white coat and rainbow mane contrasting heavily with the sea of gold behind her.
Upon further inspection, she had both horn and wings. Also a massive ass. A beautiful, massive, white booty.
Dat booty will be mine.

She spoke with an air of authority that basically said 'I'm infinitely smarter than you' and it captured my attention, as well as my temper.

"Who are you creatures? Why are you here?"

I wasted no time in closing the distance between us. She barely came up to my chest. I looked down on her as she looked up at me. She squinted her eyes as she waited for an explanation.

"I am here to find big booty bitches to ass fuck."

I brought my hand down on her ass cheek, eliciting a sharp squeal from her as well as a blush.

"And I just found one."

Adventures of Commander T and Seargent M

by JT

WHOO! LOOK AT US!

Canterlot? Well now...

Conquistadors

I found one