> Mike and Dave's Bogus Adventures in Equestria > by ninjapony2467 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1- Mike and Dave > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Twilight's Home- "Ugh why isn't it working." Twilight moans as she slumps over her desk. For the past few days, Twilight has been working on a new teleportation spell that actually summons anything to her. But instead of summoning living organisms, all she can summon are random objects such as trash cans and empty cans. "THIS...IS....RIDICULOUS. I am an alicorn, so why is it so hard to summon anything alive to me. All i want to do is perfect a spell so that I can summon my friends to me in case of emergency...UGHH." Twilight moans again resting her face on her work table. Spike, hearing all the commotion, proceeds into the library section of twilight's home. "Twilight, you've been working on this spell for days. Maybe you should take some time and rest or see one of your friends." Spike says worried. "I cant Spike, If i am to become an expert at magic i need to master all different spells like princesses Celestia or Luna. I must master this spell." With a deep breathe and exhale, Twilight began to focus all her magic into her horn creating a bright purple aura surrounding her horn. After seconds of focusing large amounts of magic, arcane symbols began to surround Twilight, a sign that the spell is working. Twilight being excited through this began to even focus more magic, more than Celestia or even Luna have created. In a instant a bright light flashed throughout the room followed by smoke. Twilight was thrown back into the wall from the spell and Spike being the worried kind rushed to where the sound of Twilight hitting the wall. As the smoke began to clear, both Twilight and Spike were lost for words as to what was seen before them. "Twi...Twilight..what are those things?" Spike stammered. "I dont know..but whatever they are...IT MEANS MY SPELL WORKED!" Twilight shouted happily not paying attention to the two unconscious beings lying right before them. -Ten Minutes Earlier- It was an average Sunday morning for civil protection’s Dave and Mike (probably the worst officers ever if I may add) as they patrolled the streets . Mike is probably the brains of the two yet tends to be a jerk at times. This could be because of his partner Dave the….ugh the best less said about him the better. Despite the two of them arguing at times, they are probably the best of friends even if Mike doesn't see it. The two work for Civil Protection, a police force created by the combine to “watch” over urban areas of the earth. Oh and in case I forgot, the Combine is an alien race that overthrew the earth and created Civil Protection to keep order…how delightful. Even with all this information, Mike and Dave can care less about aliens or order, just as long as they get their paychecks. Anyways, it was a normal morning for the two as they went on their regular ranting. “I'm telling you Mike, out there there are thousands of universes just waiting to be discovered. Who knows what could be waiting out there for us” Dave said. "That TV special last night really opened my eyes, I mean alternate universes. HEY maybe there's a universe were we have super powers like my mind control fantasy he-he." “OOOH OK I’ll tell you what’s out there Dave, another alien race just waiting to take us as their prisoners, just like the combine.” Mike stated sounding a bit agitated. “Who cares what’s out there anyways when we should be thinking about how were going to keep our jobs after LAST WEEKS FIASCO.” “HEY IT WASN'T MY FAULT MIKE, IF YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME GUNS WERE A BAD WAY OF GETTING RID OF RATS YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING!” Dave blurting out so the whole world could hear them. "I WOULD OF THOUGHT SOMEONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER AND REALIZE IT WAS A BAD IDEA DAVE!" Mike now yelling to, completely forgetting about the passing civilians. Mike and Dave would normally get into trouble here and there. Sometimes it may be vandalism, other times it would be getting tossed fifty feet in the air. But shooting a bunch of rats in the middle of public to get rid of a vermin problem only to hit a gasoline barrel and destroy a market….yeah big deal. Normally Mike and Dave would get have to clean the bathrooms at HQ, but The Chief told them what will happen this time. -At HQ before Mike and Dave's morning shift- “THE MAYORS GONNA HAVE MY ASS ON THIS ONE!!! HES DEMANDING YOU TWO TO BE TERMINATED!” The Chief shouting at the two cops not even giving a care how many other metro cops are listening. “Weelllll to be fair sir, that barrel was picking on me. And we all know you can’t mess with Civil Protection.” Dave’s best and only attempt at not making things worse. “Were dead, were fucking dead this time.” That was all that was running through Mikes head. “YOU TWO GET BACK ON PATROL AND WHEN YOU GET BACK ILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU WILL BOTH BE PUNISHED FOR THIS MESS.” The chief now taking a seat at his desk, hand signaling them to leave. -Present- Mike now stopping in his tracks, Dave follows as he looks onto his friend. “Look Dave, we’ve been through a lot together and I mean A LOT. But now were in deep shit man, either were going to lose our jobs or” Mikes reasonable conversation with Dave is quickly interrupted by a call through Dave’s walkie talkie. “Come in unit 7 this dispatch do you read?” Mike putting his hand over his face mask, knowing something isn't going to be right. Dave answered the call with an exaggerated sigh. “This is unit 7 copy what’s wrong?” “Reports are coming in of bright lights appearing in sector 8. People are reporting things disappearing as the lights appear. Go down and check it out.” “Understand unit 7 over and out.” Dave answers with a hint of confusion in his tone. “What the hell is going on? Bright lights, things disappearing? Is there some type of gas leak or something?” Dave trying to change the subject that Mike brought up earlier. Despite what Dave does, he can understand when his partner is upset. The two of them have been like brothers since joining the force. Even though Dave likes to push Mike's buttons, he does know when to quit...he just doesn't like to. “Hell if I know, hopefully it has nothing to do with that stupid gravity gun we found before.” Mike says as he beings remembering the building they easily tossed into the air. “Ha-ha oh yeah I totally forgot about the gravity gun, that was awesome. Oh wait I didn't tell you what happened after the building crashed did I?” Dave knew if anything could cheer up Mike it’s one of his stories. And for some odd (and scary) reason, Dave always had a story to tell. “Nah lay it on me.” Mike's tone now somewhat cheering up. “So after we punched out I saw Barney run up to me and Pete freaking out. Apparently a building came hurdling from the sky and crashing into his apartment complex. He was all like ‘on no a building came from the sky and destroyed my home’. And all I could say was ‘yyeaaahh I got to go.” “HA HA oh man, Barenys such an idiot.” Mike said while laughing with Dave. “I must admit despite what happens, I guess some good things can happen to us. I mean they never found out it was us who threw the building into the sky.” Just then, a bright light appeared before Mike and Dave’s eyes blinding them completely. “AGHHHH DAAAVVVEE?” Mike shouting at the top of his lungs. “YEAH MIKE?” Dave also shouting being overwhelmed by the bright light. “I TAKE IT BACK, NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO US”. Mike finishing off before the two fall unconscious. > Chapter 2- World's Collide > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Ugh oh god, what the hell happened?” Mike moaned as he began to wake up. As Mike observed his surroundings he noticed something odd about where he is. The first noticeable thing was that he was in a house, a really nice house compared to sector 7’s houses. He was also in a bed, one that was much softer than any other bed he tried. If he wasn’t concerned on where he was he would have slept for hours. Mike checked everything around him to make sure he’s in no immediate threat. “Hmmm no aliens, no rebels trying to torture us. I guess im in the zone right now.” As he’s thinking this he quickly checks his gear to make sure everything’s still there. “Let’s see one electroshock baton, one side arm pistol, 5 magazines for the pistol, one solar powered flashlight, one walkie talki, and one grenade. Yup everything’s here, though why do I feel as though im forgetting something, and where the hell am I? This place is way too good for anyone to afford. And what the heck was with that bright light, I swear if this is because of-.” Instantly Mike finally remembered what else he was forgetting. “DAAAAVVVEEEEEEE”. Mike shouted as he jumps out of bed worried about not only his safety but also the safety of his friend. Instantly Dave, wielding his side arm, barges through the door into the room where Mike was being held in. “Mike I heard you shouting is everything alright?” Dave ready to fire at anything that might cause harm to him or his friend. If it’s not knowing where they are, it’s Dave wielding a gun that makes Mike more worried. “No im not alright, where the hell are we, what was that bright light, and WHY THE HELL WAS I IN A BED?” Mike frantically shouting trying to figure out what’s happening. As Dave sighs a relief, he disarms his weapon knowing things are alright. Just as Mike finished his screaming, Twilight enters the room worried about her new guest. “Is everything alright in here, I heard a scream?” Twilight trying to figure out what’s going on. “...Dave”. Mike says calmly. “Yeah Mike?” Dave asks cautiously. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING, AND WHY IS IT PURPLE AND HAVE WINGS AND A HORN?” Mike freaking out again this time at the mere sight of Twilight. “Ok Mike just calm down, Princess Twilight Sparkle is actually peaceful from what she says.” Dave trying to once again calm his partner down. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? PRINCESSES DAVE, REALLY?” “Mike just hear me out and I’ll explain everything.” Dave sounding like the reasonable one for once. -One hour earlier- “SPIKE DID YOU SEE IT I DID IT I DID IT.” Twilight frantically shouting while jumping up and down. “Ugh yeah you sure did but what are those things Twilight? And what are those things on their faces, wait are those their faces?” Spike trying to wrap his head around the situation. Twilight’s excitement soon dies down as she finally realizes what she has done. Sure she was able to master the spell, but she also basically kidnapped two random life forms from their original homes. “Oh no if Princess Celestia finds out I what I did, she’s going to punish me for kidnapping innocent creatures. She will probably take away my crown or worse…MAGIC KINDAGARDEN!” At the thought of re-doing magic kindergarten, Twilight beings one of Rarity’s overly dramatic freak outs. As Twilight is hyperventilating and panicking at what to do, one of the creatures begins to make moaning noises. “TWILIGHT!” Spike trying to knock Twilight out of her freak out. “I think one of them is waking up?” Taking notice of this Twilight quickly snaps her neck towards the creature that is making the noises. The creature begins to move around until it finally gathers the strength to get up. “Ughhh oh man im not going to hear the end of this one from Mike.” Dave states while waking up. As soon as his eyes open all he could see is a purple horse with wings and a tiny baby dragon right in front of him. “WOAH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Dave shouts though not in concern but in confusion. “AGHH…ugh everything’s alright don’t worry, were friendly.” Twilight trying to calm down the being that towers over here. “HOLY SHIT IT TALKS TOO. Im going to call you Simba.” Dave says majestically. Normally for any other normal human, this type of situation would scare the life out of them. But for Dave, this would be something he can have fun with. “What? My names not Simba, its Twilight Sparkle, and who the hay is Simba?” Twilight asks. “Bad Simba, no shouting.” Dave says while pointing at Twilight as if telling her to sit down like a dog. Twilight confused at the gesture can only face hoof at what she has brought into her home. “Look I don’t know who you are but where the heck are we?” Dave finally acting normal. As Dave begins to look around he finally notices where exactly he’s located. Books are shelved all around the walls giving the impression that Dave is in a library. He notices stairs leading up to what is to be the second floor as well as stairs leading down to god knows where. Finally, being aware of his surroundings, is instantly hooked on the sight of his best friend unconscious on the ground. “MIKE, MIKE ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?” Dave frantically shouting as he kneels down checking his partner pulse. “Thank god, there’s a pulse.” Dave picking up his friend, turns to Twilight. If he wasn’t wearing a mask, Twilight would have seen the serious and worried stare Dave had. “Is there a bed in this place?” Dave asking her with a serious tone. “What? Oh yeah um there’s one upstairs I’ll show you.” Twilight snapping out of her confusion. Twilight begins to lead Dave upstairs while issuing spike to clean up the mess form the spell. As the two finally reach the bedroom, Dave begins to gently lay Mike on the bed only to glance back before leaving. “Im sorry for your friend, but if anything im sure he will be alright. After all you woke up and you seem to be functioning alright.” Twilight trying to lighten up the mood. Even though she can’t see his face, she can tell that Dave was worried for his friend. “Huh? Oh yeah thanks. He will be fine, believe it or not this isn't the worst thing that happened to us ha ha.” Dave finally happy again. “So where are we anyways? I know for a fact the combine doesn't consist of talking horses. Plus this home is in a waaayy better condition than any other home I've been in.” “Oh well I got a lot of explain to do. Well to begin with, my names Twilight Sparkle and that small dragon you saw earlier was my assistant spike.” Twilight reaching her hoof out to Dave. “Hi im Dave.” Dave mirroring her actions, he reaches out his hand and hoof bumps hers. And so for the next forty minutes, the two would explain their two worlds. Twilight would go on to tell Dave about Unicorns and Pegasus, princess and magic, and Dave would then go on to tell about the combine and civil protection, and what Mike and Dave would normally do. Both Twilight and Dave were both skeptical yet interested in each other’s realms. “Wow I must admit id never expect this stuff to be real but I guess it’s true.” Dave says while rubbing his hand over what was supposed to be his chin. “I mean I knew that there were different worlds and all, but this goes beyond worlds, I mean this is INCREDIBLE.” Dave says excitedly. “I know, I knew my spell was strong but I can’t believe my spell summoned a whole new species.” Twilight mimicking Dave’s excitement while making a squee noise. Just then however a familiar scream rang through Dave’s ears. “DAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEE” Quickly Dave whips out his pistol and rushes upstairs, ready to fight off any creatures and help Mike. -Present- “And that’s what happened while you were out. Apparently the ponies here are really friendly and the best part is that there’s no alien dictators or combine.” Dave says as he tells Mike who is currently leaning against a book case. During the time that Dave was explain the situation to Mike, Mike couldn’t help but keep staring at twilight and Spike. “Oh man this is just so freaky, I mean magic and talking ponies, well I guess it could be worse” Mike said in his thoughts. As Dave finally finishes his explanation, Mike stops leaning against the wall and begins to speak. “Ok, im willing to believe all that you just said. Im going to believe in flying ponies and princesses. There’s just one thing I want to know.” Mike says firmly pointing at Twilight. “What’s that Mike?” Twilight asks with a puzzled look. “What more could he ask for I mean Dave just told him everything about our world?” Twilight asks herself in her head. “How are we going to get home?” Mike asks as he’s looking at both Dave and Twilight. “Oh.” Twilight and Dave both say as they look at each other with a worried look. Looking at both Twilight's and Dave’s expression, all mike could say is “Great”. > The Lost and the Dumb > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a peaceful evening for Fluttershy as she quietly fed her pets in her cottage. She lived on the outskirts of Ponyville, far enough to be away from every pony but not too far too be away from her friends. Fluttershy lived a normal life, a life dedicated to helping animals anyway she can. Her home was filled with nothing but pets ranging from birds, squirrels and even a bear. However, her regular schedule will be thrown off by a barrage of knockings on the door. “EEEEP.” Fluttershy shrieked as she heard the knockings on the door. “Oh my, what do you think is going on angel?” Fluttershy’s rabbit, angel (who if I may add is a demon) only answered with a shrug as he went back to eating his salad. Suddenly the door busted open, causing Fluttershy to once again shriek as she hid behind her couch along with the hundreds of other animals. Appearing from the doorway was Fluttershy’s closest friends. The First was Applejack, an honest pony who loves nothing more than her friends and apples. The second pony to step in the Rarity, a pony of generosity, fashion, and has been known to be a drama queen. Using her magic, Rarity levitated Fluttershy close to her face with a look of shock on both mares faces. “Fluttershy, darling we need your help, of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE…WORST…POSSBILE…THING…THAT COULD HAPPEN!!!” “Uh Im sorry Rarity but what could of happened?” Fluttershy quietly says as she tries to hide from Rarity’s glare. Applejack, pulling Fluttershy from Rarity’s magic grip, set her down and tries to calm Rarity down. “Now listen up sugar cube, if we all start going crazy, then it aint gonna fix notin now ya hear.” Applejack tells Rarity, trying to get her to calm down. “Now Fluttershy, have you seen applebloom, scootaloo, or sweetie belle come by here?” “Oh my I haven’t seen them at all are they alright?” Fluttershy now becoming concerned like Rarity. “AHH BUCK!” AJ shouting, causing both Rarity and Fluttershy to flinch in fear. “Im terribly sorry Fluttershy, it’s just the girls said they were gonna try and get there cutie marks in exotic animal finders and I was hoping they would come by here.” “Oh dear, I hope there alright, where do you think they could of gone?” Fluttershy always cared for the three girls as if they were her own daughters. Ever since the incident with the cockatrice, the cutie mark crusaders have always looked up to Fluttershy, always listening to what she says. “Well knowing those girls they probably went off and did something dangerous, why who knows what kind of dangerous, filthy place they went off to.” Rarity stating while putting a woof over her front head preparing to swoon. Both Flutteryshy and AJ were giving Rarity a quizzical look. “What? It would be awful for them to be in some old dirty place. Why just think of what that could do to one’s beautiful mane.” Rarity saying while gently tapping hair. “Now listen er, we need to think of some place were those darn crusaders could be crusading at.” AJ saying, trying to reel Rarity back into the crisis at hand. The three mares stood there silent, pondering where the crusaders could have run off to. Instantly all three shout at the top of their lungs. “THE EVERFREE FOREST” Instantly all three ran off from Fluttershys cabin into town. As the three bolted out of the house, angel took advantage of Fluttershys absent and began to raid the carrot cabinet. As the three rushed down ponyville, they shoved aside any pony that stood in their way. Not too far away from the mad ponies was Derpy sitting at a dining table outside with a muffin. This muffin she had was one that could make any pony jealous, the texture of it as it stands tall on the table. Just as she is about to take a bite into her muffin, Derpy notices Rarity charging down the street shoving a certain Dr. onto the ground. This caused a chain reaction as the Dr. topples over a tower of boxes which falls on the opposite end of a board. The board then launches a flower pot into the air only to crash down on Derpy’s muffin. Starring at what was her muffin, Derpy could only say “I…just don’t know what went wrong.” Finally reaching their destination, the three mares finally reach Twilights library. Applejack knew that if anyone could help them, it’s Twilight. Just as AJ was about to open the door screaming could be heard from the other side. Both Rarity, Fluttershy, and AJ leaned onto the door to hear what the commotion was. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET US BACK? AND DAVE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SAY ANYTHING POSITIVE YOU’RE DEAD.” The next thing the three mares found themselves falling into the house as their weight combined opened the door. As the three look up for Twilight what they see however catches them off guard. “Who the heck are they?” questioned Dave. “Ugh Twilight?” asks a concerned AJ. “Yes Applejack?” Twilight response with just as much confusion. “Who are your friend’s dearie?” Rarity Finishes. “Oh, girls id like for you to meet Mike and Dave, there from another world.” Twilight sounding way to calmly in what she just said. “Umm hey” says both Mike and Dave. “Eep” Fluttershy squeaks as she hides in her hair. After getting acquainted with one another, AJ, Rarity, and Fluttershy explain to Twilight, Mike, and Dave about their situation. Surprisingly enough, even Dave and Mike find interest in their predicament. “Oh man that’s just awful…Wait why the hell were they alone? Aren’t you supposed to be there older sisters and like watch out over them? ” Mike questioning AJ and Rarity. “Well of course we are, but here in Equestria nothing bad ever happens here. And besides this is stuff the three girls always tend to do.” rarity commenting on Mike’s question. “And yet here we are questioning why there lost in the first place.” Mike muttering just loud enough for all to hear. “Hey Mike ease off, obviously things work different here. Now where is this Ever Free forest you were talking about?” Dave asking twilight. “WOAH WOAH WAIT A MINUTE, you’re not actually thinking of going out looking for them are you?” Mike now surprised at what Dave is asking. Of all the things that always happen to the two police officers, most of their situations arise because of Dave’s ideas. “Well why not Mike, these are little girls lost in some eerie forest, plus it’s going to get dark out soon so who knows what will happen?” “That’s just it Dave, we don’t know. For all we know they may even be at some playground burning ants.” Mike trying to stay neutral in this situation. “Mike, Dave, please you must help us, these girls won’t know what to do. And the last time they went out there, they got attacked by a cockatrice.” Twilight trying to convince Mike. “Wait, what the hells a cockatrice?” Mike completely forgetting about the issue at hand and finding more interest in the mythical creature. “Well a cockatrice is a two legged dragon with a chickens head. It’s also believed to turn its enemies into stone.” Dave correcting Mike. “Oh wow isn’t that comforting, a dragon chicken that turns people into rock. Wait, how the hell do you know that?” Mike confused at Dave’s response. “I get around. Whenever you’re not on duty, Im with Adam and he teaches me this stuff.” Dave answers. What mike doesn’t know is that Dave is actually smarter than he looks. Compared to Mike, Dave’s I.Q. score surpasses Mike’s. Though despite this, Dave tends to act like he isn’t that intelligent just so no one expects him to do more. “EXCUSE ME, MIGHT I REMIND YALL MY BABY SISTERS LOST IN THE FOREST!” AJ now getting annoyed of Mike and Dave. “Listen Daisy Duke, we would like to help but we need to get back home, yall hearin me.” Mike mocking AJ. AJ getting furious now, marches up into Mike’s face. As the two are locked in an eternal stare, Fluttershy begins to break them up, and then stare into Mike’s mask. “Please Mister Mike, these girls mean a lot to me.” Fluttershy now on the verge of crying. “Will you please help them? Their just girls.” Mike now looking around him, he sees the sad and desperate faces of the girls as well as Dave looking at him too. “Aggghhh alright…well go find them.” Mike finally giving into the guilt trip. “OH THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU” Fluttershy burst out in tears now hugging Mike. At first Mike felt real uncomfortable, the fact that a pony is hugging him. But then he feels another feeling, a feeling of happiness, that someone is actually happy because of him. ‘ "Alright Dave, we got a job to do.” Mike now sounding more confident than before. “OH HELL YEAH TIME TO GO NINJA DAVE. OOHO WAHHH CHA CHA CHA.” Dave now mimicking karate moves. “Ugh Dave?” Twilight trying to get his attention. “CHA CHA WAHCHA, NO ONE WILL STOP NINJA DAVE ” continuing his antics. “Daaavvvee?” Rarity confused at Dave’s movements. “HADUKEN, KIAO KEN”. “DAAAAVVVVEEEE STOOOPPP ITTT, WE GOTTA FIND THE GIRLS.” Mike finally snapping. “Aghh, jeez you didn’t have to yell.” Dave finally stopping. “Listen guys.” Twilight now getting the two officers attention. “I don’t know how your experiences with forests are on your world, but here the ever free forest is a dangerous place. I think it would be wise taking Fluttershy since she knows her way around the forest.” Just as twilight makes this suggestion, Fluttershy begins to walk away slowly. “uhh well I’d love to help Twilight but I got a lot of things to do soooo BYE.” Fluttershy quickly makes a break for the door only to be stopped by Mike. “Listen pony, either you come with us, or those girls won’t be seeing this town again.” Dave says with a threatening tone in his demand. Utter silence fills the room only to broken by a loud, cartoonish gulp coming from Fluttershy. “Ugh Dave, that’s a little dark.” Mike nervously remarked. And so as Fluttershy guides Mike and Dave to the entrance of the ever free forest, Mike notices Fluttershy shaking from fear. If there was one thing Mike didn’t like, it was people getting uncomfortable around him. Plus since Fluttershy was there only way of navigating through the forest, he knew she had to stay calm. “Listen Fluttershy, there’s nothing to be scared off. I mean me and Dave have stared danger in the face more times than we can count. And after all those times, we came out victorious with only mild injuries. And besides, were two badass cops from another world so if anything, whatever that is in the forest should be afraid of us.” Mike sounding both confident and positive. Fluttershy, noticing Mike’s confidence, returns it with a smile. “MIIIKKEE, WHERE ARE YOU? I DON’T HAVE A FLASHLIGHT AND IT’S DARK IN HERE.” To both Mike’s and Fluttershy’s surprise, Dave is already deep into the forest, blindly wandering around in the dark. “Oh man, it’s gonna be a long night.” Mike says as both he and Fluttershy enter the forest.