In Another Universe
I’m not strong. I’m not gonna lie. I’m not, but I’d like to think that I’m tough. I’d like to think that I can take what the universe can throw at me, but if the last 15 minutes have proved anything, it’s that I’m not tough.
Tough people don’t cover their ears and start making silent pleas to a river hoping it’ll stop churning. Tough people don’t beg for birds to stop their singing because it tortures them, and tough people don’t cry. Tough people don’t cower.
I could almost hear my sister, Diane, snickering at my pain. I could handle a banshee cry, but I couldn't handle a tiny bird chirping? Pathetic. What was next? Being frozen by 50 degree weather?
I gritted my teeth and lowered my hands from my ears. The noise amplified twenty-fold. I fought the urge to moan. I stopped cowering and sat up. My body swayed, and I pressed my hands against the ground. I tried to bury my fingers in the dirt so I could pretend to feel the warmth of the earth. Nothing happened.
I tried to move my fingers again. Nothing. I tried to calm down as I brought myself to look at my hand. I looked down.
My entire hand had been cut off. No. Please no. NO. Nonono, this isn’t real. Not happening. It’s just a dream, or a night-
Wait, something seemed off... I forced myself to look at my missing hand again. No stump. No scarring. My arm was like a tube that cut off just as it was getting to my hand. What the hell?
I looked at my other hand, or at least where my hand should be. Nothing was there. No hands. This was either the sickest joke Diane had ever played on me, or the universe had decided to hate me even more than usual. I couldn't be sure.
I tried to crawl to a puddle by the river so I could see what else was different about me. 5 minutes later, I decided that crawling was not allowed by my new body, and I had to get up.
It turned out my new body had no feet either. Joy. I pushed myself so that I was standing up. Then I pretended that I was one of those old Chinese ladies and tiptoed to the puddle.
I looked like a caricature of a horse. I had elf ears, genuine, adorable elf ears. I had eyes that covered most of my face. My butt was big. My neck was like a giraffe. My nose was small and stubby. I had a small cartoon mouth. This could not be my body. My body wasn't supposed to be this adorable. This was embarrassing.
Then I saw something on my back. Wings. Beautiful, delicate wings. I could fly. I jumped up in the air, pictured my nervous system growing into those wings, and I tried to fly. I guess I figured that the universe wouldn't give me wings for nothing. I thought that the universe would have given me the powers of a pegasus. Apparently it did not.
I smacked my face against a large rock and landed in a heap. I swore every cuss word I knew and made up a few. Of course the universe wouldn't let me fly. That would defy the laws of gravity, and we couldn't have that now could we?
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard 3 kids screaming at each other. At least, I thought they were kids. They could be extremely adorable adults with children’s voices.
I turned around to see 3 cartoon horses staring at me. One that was white with a pink and purple mane, one that was orange with pink hair, and with her hair tied in a bow that was bigger than her head. They weren't wearing any clothes (except the bow), and none of them seemed embarrassed. Not. One. Of. Them.
One of the horses (the one with the bow) stepped up and said, “Hi, nice to meet ya. I’m Apple Bloom. These are my friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”
"It's nice to meet you, but could you please stop shouting?"
The white one with a pink and purple mane, Sweetie belle, said, "Um, I didn't understand that." I cringed.
"Please, stop screaming. I'm right here."
"What did you say?"
"Are you deaf? STOP. SCREAMING."
Apple Bloom looked at her friends and said, "I think she's just really shy."
Shy? How was I shy? I had been polite, but I didn't avoid the conversation. Was being polite considered shy? No. Was it because they couldn't hear me? It's not like it was my fault they were deaf. Was it the cringing? The only reason I was cringing was because they were screaming bloody murder.
I glared at them. None of them seemed to notice. Instead, they looked at my butt and got excited. I sat down and tried to hide my butt.
Apple Bloom said, "You don't have your cutie mark."
My curiosity got the best of me. "What the hell is a cutie mark?"
Sweetie Belle made a comforting face and said, "It's okay. We don't have our cutie marks either."
The ponies decided that this was the best opportunity to push their butts together and stick them in the air.
"See?"
I decided right then and there that those horses were crazy.