I Don't Feel Anything
I've turned my crying into uncontrollable laughter.
I've turned my uncontrollable laughter into gagging, to cover it up.
I've turned my heartache into anger.
I've turned my anger into screaming.
I don't feel anything at all.
I want to miss them, I am trying my hardest,
I want to forget the past, I need to forget my past.
But I cannon't.
I don't want ponies judging me secretly,
I don't want ponies looking at me that way,
So I guess it's better to not feel anything at all.
I was different from the other fillies, I was the odd ball of Canterlot.
I enjoyed reading, and learning all I could about things,
They enjoyed makeup, and talking about boys...
There was this one filly, her name was.. If I can remember, her name was Sunset Shimmer.
She is probably the only one I can relate to the most in all of Canterlot.
The other fillies teased me for not having many friends, she was really the only one I ever had.
Shimmie, that's the nickname I gave to her, was into reading and studying, just like me.
I remember the day she left Canterlot Kindergarten to go to Princess Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns.
"Hey, Sparkie?" Sunset Shimmer said, tapping on my shoulder with a hoof.
I looked up from my book I was reading called 'Starswirl The Bearded's most famous unfinished spells',
"Yes, Shimmie?" I responded, looking confused.
She looked sad, and happy at the same time, I could tell something was up.
"I got in."
I wasn't sure if I should cry, or jump into her arms and hug her until she dies. But I really wanted her to die, Honestly.
"Th..That's.. That's great news, Shimmie! When are you.. L-leaving?" I stuttered nervously. She was my only friend, and she was about to leave.
"Right now, actually. I'll, uh, We'll keep in contact.. right?" She asked, moving her hoof around in the dirt.
"Y-Yes. You should go now, you don't want to miss the first day of sch-schoo-scho-.."
"Bye, Sparkie." Sunset Shimmer walked away, I never heard from her again, I don't think she wanted to keep in contact with me. She was in school with the Princess of all of Equestria, and I was sitting here on my flank.
That was the day that I swore to Celestia, that I would never make any new friends at all.
Friends grow apart.
Friends come and go.
Why make any friends if they are just going to let you go?
'Make some friends, Twilight', That's what they all told me...
Ah, the memories are coming back.. That one time with Celestia..
"Twilight Sparkle, I have said this before, and I will say it again." Celestia took away my book I was reading. "Make some friends." She had force in her voice.
I rolled my eyes, "I know, Princess Celestia. But there is just not enough time! I have to study if I want to know all I can about magic, right?" I said, Princess Celestia probably thought I sounded like a spoiled brat.
Celestia pulled me under her wing, "Twilight, please, friends are a wonderful addition to your life; They cheer you up when you're down. Please, don't let me down." Princess Celestia said, nuzzling my cheek.
I rolled my eyes once more, "But that still takes away time from my studies! I don't see the point in making friends, they just go away eventually anyway!" I shouted at the Princess.
"Twilight, friends might leave you someday.. But you enjoy every minute you spend with them, and it is all worth it in the end." Celestia stood up, walking away from me.
Now I am here, I am in Ponyville,
I have 6 wonderful friends who I know will never, ever leave me.
I cannot mess this up.
I have to feel again.
For them.
I cannot let Princess Celestia down, I cannot let myself down. I have to try my darnest.
- Twilight Sparkle, October 10th, 2010
Dear Princess Celestia,
I have learned so much ever since I let friends come into my life.
I have a wonderful marefriend now, her name is Pinkie Diane Pie.
I have 5 wonderful friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and of course, Pinkie Pie.
Non of this would have happened if I wouldn't of left behind my introverted self.
You were was right, everypony was right. I should of listened to you. Now you're gone, and I can't tell you all of the wonderful adventures I have been threw. I'm so sorry, Princess.
I was wrong.
Pinkie Pie nuzzled Twilight lightly, pulling away her book so she could kiss her.
"Hi Twillie!" She said, wrapping her forelegs around me in a hug.
I kissed her back, drying my tears. "Hello, Pinkie. I was just writing to Celestia about you and the girls."
Pinkie Pie picked up the book that she had pulled away from me, and read it.
"Aww.. You are so awesome, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie nuzzled her marefriend, "I love you so so so so much!"
I giggled, "I love you too, Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie pushed me over playfully and laid next to me, occasionally kissing me on the cheek.
"To think this all wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my friends." I said to myself, nuzzling Pinkie.
"To think that I wouldn't know any of you guys, and I would just be a lonely rock farmer with an ugly rock for a cutie mark if it wasn't for that Sonic Rainboom!" Pinkie Pie shouted happily.
I laughed, and we both drifted off to sleep together.
Friends are a wonderful addition to my life.