Six unlikely ponies come together in a dream to be friends. A My Little Pony/Inception crossover.
The Great and Powerful Trixie has never had friends. When a well meaning doctor reveals this is a serious medical condition, she resolves to go about fixing it, by stealing the Elements of Harmony from Twilight Sparkle. But the Elements are more than just fancy bling; they're concepts. To steal them, she'd have to steal the very essence of harmony from their weidlers. Fortunately for The Great and Powerful Trixie, she has a cutie mark in dreaming. Can she, and the group of ponies she hopes to call friends, steal the Elements of Harmony from Twilight and her friends?
Chapter One: The Murder Inception The question that sometimes drives me hazy; Am I, or the others crazy? - Albert Einstein
The Great And Powerful Trixie couldn't sleep.
The Great And Powerful Trixie was tossing and turning in her Canterlot hotel room, while Doctor High Hope slept beside her. How he could sleep was beyond The Great And Powerful Trixie. After the day the two of them had spent together, she felt she wouldn't go to sleep even if she didn't see… HER face, every time she closed her eyes.
The Great And Powerful Trixie had met Doctor High Hope on her recent journey to Appaloosa. There, she had an unfortunate accident during the course of her performance, and the good doctor looked her over.
The doctor, for all his weaknesses, was good at what he did, and soon found a problem in her. A rare, though not unheard of, form of brain damage.
The Great And Powerful Trixie did not empathize well with other ponies. She was the only one in her world. Ponies naturally made friends. Ponies shared special connections with their friends, even before they met. Friends shared laughter, and tears, and made each other better people. The Great And Powerful Trixie was not like every other pony.
There was a word for The Great And Powerful Trixie. That word was sociopath.
Doctor High Hope was nervous, especially when Sheriff Silver Star did a background check. The Great And Powerful Trixie was a well known performer, but it turned out that every time she preformed several ponies were publicly humiliated.
Yes, The Great And Powerful Trixie was Equestria's most infamous serial humiliator.
Doctor High Hope thanked Celestia that most ponies couldn't even conceive of the notion of killing another pony, and thus The Great And Powerful Trixie could only feel power over others by humiliating them.
The pair of them had made their way to Canterlot, and that's where they were now. Doctor High Hope was of very good standing, coming from a long line of medical ponies. She was surprised by him being in Appaloosa, but he was needed more there, than in Canterlot. He was renouned enough to ask for an audience with Princess Celestia, to ask for the Elements of Magic to heal her.
The Great And Powerful Trixie tossed and turned. She still saw HER face in her mind's eyes. She could still see HER upstaging her, in front of a whole town of ponies. She would see HER in her mind’s eye, every time she tried to dream. She'd never felt more humiliated.
Doctor High Hope took The Great And Powerful Trixie to the Canterlot prisons this very afternoon. He wanted her to see what would happen if she didn't allow herself to be exposed to the elements.
The inmate they went to see, one of the very few, was Fleetarigan Pie. Or as his guards mockingly called him, 'Meaty Fleety Pie'. He used to be known as Fleetarigan the Equestrian. He used to be a doctor too, a brilliant one. He was a friend of Doctor High Hope. Until they discovered he was killing ponies, and mixing them into cupcakes to eat. Hence the 'Equestrian' part in his name; it referred to his diet.
The Great And Powerful Trixie got out of bed. She knew sleep would be futile tonight. Even if she tried to dream, her dreams would be tormented by HER face. She couldn't get HER voice out of her head. She looked more at the book on her nightstand.
The book was written by a wizard named Pepper Cobb. Pepper was a Unicorn, born to the Cobb family, back in the days of Starswirl the Bearded. The Cobb family were all earth ponies. This was before the days of Celestia when Earth Ponies could give birth to Unicorns and Pegasi without suspecting a betrayal of marriage.
Cobb was kicked off the farm. She joined with the other ponies who were outcasts from society, and they became outlaws, who stole from the wealthy and powerful to give to the poor and needy. The Great and Powerful Trixie personally thought she was an imbecile.
But she could do that with only a stealing cutie mark. The Great and Powerful Trixie had a dream cutie mark. She shut the book and looked at the pegasus sleeping in the bed next to her.
Doctor High Hope was hoping she'd see Dr. Pie languishing, and change her ways. But The Great And Powerful Trixie was not so easily put off. Doctor Fleet Pie made sure of it. Her visit was… very enlightening.
The Elements of Magic hadn't worked on the Doctor, and she asked why. He told her that the elements utilized harmony for their magic, and he was already harmonious. He was still friends with the friends he had before his imprisonment, even if they were disgusted with him. He was still loyal to them when they needed help, and one of his friends, a palace guard named Silver Starling, still came to him for help. He was kind and honest to those who were polite to him, and he truly did become a doctor to generously help people, and the reason he was caught in the first place was because one of his intended victims escaped, and he respected the effort put into it enough to let her escape. He even laughed once in a while. He already knew the elements, like most ponies, and so they neither 'cured' him, nor turned him to stone.
She had asked why he would do it then. If he wasn't a sociopath like she was, why bake ponies into cupcakes?
He directed her to his cutie mark. It was a trio of shining gems that matched a statue in the Canterlot Gardens, save they were atop a blazing sun. The earth pony was a winner, had been ever since he was a foal. He may not have been a sociopath, but he had a sociopath’s pride, the gut knowledge that he was the best and the brightest.
Why eat ponies? To see how long he would get away with it. To prove how much smarter he was than all of Manehatten and Canterlot, even when ponies were disappearing every day from both heavily populated cities.
The Great And Powerful Trixie stared at Doctor High Hope as he slept. She wasn't the best. She wasn't the brightest. But at least she could dream she was.
Until SHE came along.
SHE had turned the tables on her, humiliated her. And Doctor High Hope wanted her to be cured? With HER help?
She levitated a pillow from her bed. Taking the sheet off the pillow, she hovered it over High Hope's face.
The Great And Powerful Trixie had never considered killing somepony before. Maybe Dr. Fleet Pie was a genius.
Some friendships are made by nature, some by contract, some by interest, and some by souls.
- Jeremy Taylor
It was a dark and stormy night. Prince Blueblood scoffed at the rain outside. "Servant!"
Nirvana, an exasperated rainbow-maned, green Earth Pony, came into the room wearing a nightcap. It was late, and he felt the sting of being misfortunate enough to be out of bed at the same time as the Prince. He'd had a long day, and he really just wanted to go to bed. "Yes Prince Blueblood?"
"Why is it raining on my property? Go tell those Pegasus to stop right away."
Nirvana frowned. "No."
"What was that?"
"With respect your majesty, you hired me to make sure your gardens were, and I quote, 'fitting for a prince'. I've just barely been keeping them watered enough to survive on my own. We need this rain."
"It is making me depressed." The prince said, and he waved Nirvana off. "Go and make the pegasus stop."
"Sir, how do you propose I even get in touch with them? I'm an earth pony. You can send a message with your horn, but me?"
Blueblood gasped with shock. "But then I'd have to go outside. I'd get…" He shuddered. "…wet."
Nirvana's eye twitched. It was a very nasty twitch he was developing. He tried to control his temper. He'd been in Prince Blueblood's service longer then anypony because of his zen-like state of mind. But he was having a really bad day – no, a bad week – and the twitch was getting worse. "Sir, I'll say it again; your garden has not been watered since winter. I will not stop this rain."
"Maybe you don't understand." Prince Blueblood began to talk as if Nirvana was a foal. "I." He pointed to himself. "Am." He pointed to himself again, and Nirvana rolled his eyes. "Prince." He tried to make a crown-like impression with his hooves.
"You." He pointed to Nirvana. "Servant." Nirvana grated, as Prince Blueblood not only reminded him that he'd been working for the prince for years and he still hadn't bothered remembering his name, but made a face vaguely resembling a mule to pantomime being a servant. A mule with lazy eyes, large foreteeth, and a tongue sticking out of its head. It really suited Blueblood.
"I order." He motioned to his mouth. "You do." Prince Blueblood seemed to be pantomiming gardening, but Nirvana was an actual gardener, so he couldn't help but laugh at Blueblood's phantom movements.
Blueblood sighed as his servant forgot his place again. "This is the tenth time you've laughed in my presence."
"You've kept track of that, but you can't remember my name?" Nirvana asked incredulously.
"I have no room for servants who do not know their place." Blueblood sniffed. "I've taken the liberty of hiring a professional gardener. One who knows her place. Look, she's outside right now tending the gardens."
Nirvana gasped and ran to the window. Outside, he saw a shivering, wet mare, desperately clipping the hedges through the rain.
Throughout the years, Nirvana prided himself on being unflappably calm and polite. Ten years he'd been in service of Prince Blueblood, and still he soldiered on, making his gardens one of the greatest gardens in all of Equestria. Even though he could admit, Blueblood was the first pony to ever grate on his nerves, he still had his own hoof-crafted paradise that he worked in and meditated in everyday. It was worth dealing with an oaf like blueblood for his own personal paradise.
This was it. This was the final straw, the last wanton act of cruelty. Nirvana could not stand for Blueblood any longer.
"You know what?" He asked, all tiredness in him gone as he felt the tiredness the poor mare outside must be feeling. "I quit. And I'm going to go outside, and tell her to quit too. And then, I'm going to find Snowflake, and tell her that you want the rain to pour even harder! AND THEN I AM GOING TO CALL BETTER GARDENS MAGAZINE, AND TELL THEM NEVER TO FEATURE YOUR GARDEN AGAIN, BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS IT ONCE WAS, AND YOU'LL FEEL THE STING OF IT LIKE A PAIR OF HOOFS COMING DOWN ON YOUR HINDQUARTERS!"
Nirvana stormed out of the room in a gallop. "AND THEN, CELESTIA WILLING, I'M GOING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
Blueblood blinked as he watched him leave. "Servant?" He called. "This is no time for your peasant humor. Can't you see this rain is making me upset?" He heard the door slam. "Servant?" He shrugged. "Ah, maybe he was just going to stop this rain." Blueblood politely guffawed. "Good one servant. Your peasant humor does you credit."
He heard a dark chuckle behind him. "And they call me crazy."
He turned and his eyes widened. "You! Lulamoon!"
The Great And Powerful Trixie emerged from the shadows. "Yes. Although, I go by The Great And Powerful Trixie now."
Blueblood sniffed. "Rather a mouthful. I'm going to call security. They shall be here in an instant."
"The Great And Powerful Trixie thinks you'll find they've all taken a paid leave of absence." The Great And Powerful Trixie chuckled. "Seriously Blue, how much did you pay them? The Great And Powerful Trixie only had what money a country doctor had on him. But The Great And Powerful Trixie is not here to hurt you."
"Of course not." Blueblood laughed. "I'm a prince. Nopony can hurt me. Don't come any closer though, your mane is wet, and address me as Blueblood, not Blue."
The Great And Powerful Trixie shook her head, and water droplets fell onto the room. "Blueblood… have you ever wondered why you didn't have any friends?"
"Nopony is worthy to be friends with Prince Blueblood." The Prince said haughtily.
"Not true. All ponies have friends. Everypony has a special connection with those friends before they even meet, a connection as sure as the connection between a pony and her one true love." She looked out of the window. "Oh, look at the adorable couple. Love at first sight."
Prince Blueblood looked out the window, to see his gardener kissing the new mare he'd hired. "He's supposed to be stopping the rain." He turned to The Great And Powerful Trixie. "Since you're here, you stop the rain."
She sighed, and reminded herself that every step taken with him, was a step towards her revenge on HER. "The Great And Powerful Trixie is not some beast of burden Blueblood. Besides, your gardener insulted you. Would you not like to see him suffer for it?"
Prince Blueblood looked out the window. "Hold on, Lulamoon. Don't make it stop raining. I've had a thought; it should stay raining. That servant deserves it for speaking to Prince Blueblood in such a way."
"Yes he does." The Great And Powerful Trixie rolled her eyes.
"You may continue explaining your presence… Trixie."
She smiled, and this time it was genuine. "Remember when we were both in Canterlot's school for gifted unicorns? The Great And Powerful Trixie was paired with you for homework, and while we were supposed to be studying summoning spells, you brashly decided to try your hoof at a firework spell."
"Summoning fireworks looked better then summoning a meager cup of water." Prince Blueblood said. "It was a spell worthy of a prince. Don't tell me you're still upset about that whole 'rocketed out the window' thing. I thought you weren't here to hurt me."
She shook her head. "No, don't worry, The Great And Powerful Trixie is not upset, and she had never told anypony about your mistake either."
"Of course not. I ordered you not to."
"The Great And Powerful Trixie did not realize then, but the damage wrought to her brain was greater than a simple concussion. Her mind was host to a grave illness."
Prince Blueblood hurriedly back-trotted to the other side of the room. "Is it contagious?"
She smirked. "Surprisingly; yes, it is."
"Don't come any closer, you might infect me!"
"You already have been infected, in a sense." The Great And Powerful Trixie sighed, and sat down. "The Great And Powerful Trixie is incapable of making friends now. Thus, while some may act friendly towards The Great And Powerful Trixie, the connection that should be between them that would improve each pony is not. This connection is shared with The Great And Powerful Trixie's friends, and thus by extension they have no friends either, though they are not neccesarily sociopathic."
Blueblood glared at her. "Are you suggesting that a prince such as I could possibly be friends with a commoner like yourself?"
"I'll admit, it's a bit of a stretch." The Great And Powerful Trixie mumbled. "But then, I don't remember you being nearly as conceited in the academy. Maybe spending time without friends has worsened us both."
"What makes you think I could possibly be friends with a common unicorn?" Blueblood sneered. "You aren't even from a unicorn line. Your parents were earth ponies. How could I be friends with you?"
The Great And Powerful Trixie smirked. "You remember my name. After all these years, The Great And Powerful Trixie has been trying to make everypony forget that name, and you remember it, despite not knowing the names of your servants."
"It… was a name worth knowing." Prince Blueblood said, trying to be casual.
The Great And Powerful Trixie smirked. "Yes… because even if we can't remember it through all of the long, lonely, friendless years, I believe that we were once friends."
Blueblood seemed to be at a loss for words. "Are you suggesting that I am…" Blueblood struggled to say something.
"Brain-damaged by association." The Great And Powerful Trixie suggested.
"How dare you suggest such a thing!"
"The Great And Powerful Trixie would prefer to suggest that you get an attitude adjustment."
Prince Blueblood boiled. Before he could say anything, The Great And Powerful Trixie finished. "And The Great And Powerful Trixie means that literally. There is a way we can get our friendship back."
Prince Blueblood rubbed his chin. "Yes. We'll go straight to Auntie Celestia and have her magic us back." He pointed to Trixie. "As the new best friend of the most eligible Prince in Canterlot, you will have the spare room, and I will send one of the servants who don't talk back to buy you the finest dress."
The Great And Powerful Trixie put on a sad face. "Oh, well, I was going to suggest we go and use the Elements of Harmony for ourselves. You are a prince after all; you don't need to go crying to your aunt when you're in trouble, and you deserve the very best friendship. But, I suppose your way it good too."
She turned to leave the room, but was interrupted. "Hold on Trixie."
She worked to hide the smile on her face as she turned around slowly. Prince Blueblood's face split into a slow grin, not bothering to hide.
"I am just about to be brilliant."
"Do tell." The Great And Powerful Trixie said, letting the faintest of smiles in on the edge of her lips.
Cherry Jubilee sipped her tea as she stood on the balcony of her mansion in Dodge Juncture. It overlooked the town, if you could even call it a town. She looked down on it with contempt. She was an entrepreneur of the highest degree. She'd easily wiped out every competitor in the, admittedly small, competition that was inherent in the cherry market.
Her two guests sat behind her, eating brunch at a table set especially for royalty. The Great And Powerful Trixie didn't care much for it, but Prince Blueblood was at ease, nibbling lightly on the finest alfalfa salad, (lightly garnished with cherries of course) prepared especially for the occasion by her chef Dejour. He wouldn't eat anything that wasn't prepared by one of Canterlot's best chefs, so it was quite fortunate that she'd already kidnapped one, and convinced him to stay with a few well placed compliments.
Jubilee was a collector of rare ponies. She always wanted a friend, and she was so sure that if it was her friend he or she would be an interesting one. So she would regularly trick, coerce, blackmail, or otherwise force the most interesting ponies she could find into being 'friends' with her.
She once even lucked across one of the elements of harmony! The element of truth landed right in front of her face when she went to attend the annual rodeo Canterlot held, for some of its immigrant ponies. She managed to rig the whole game so Applejack wouldn't win. It was a close thing; Applejack caught onto her during the last few events, and managed to fend her off with a few surprises of her own, in addition to her raw athletic skill.
But in the end, she got her. She had her pony so thoroughly ensnared, that she managed to make the element of honesty lie to her friends! And then, she managed to sweeten the deal, and collect the whole set of elements!
But before she could try to make friends with any of them, they'd left. Nopony had ever left one of her collections before. But apparently, none of those ponies had been Applejack or Rarity before. While they left the others to convince Applejack to come back with a heartwarming speech about friendship, Rarity and that pink menace of hers came back into town and blackmailed her!
Nopony had ever blackmailed her before. Nopony had ever left her collection before.
But the two of them had managed to outmaneuver her, and Cherry Jubilee was not a pony to be outmaneuvered so easily.
She had Bunsen Burn (he was a trouble-maker too; she had to regularly give him threatening photographs of his family in Phillydelphia to ensure his loyalty) work with Dejour to create a fantastic machine capable of making the best cider ever concocted. She sent the machine to ponyville, accompanied by the Flim and Flam brothers, and the perfect plan to drive Applejack's family out of their cherished business.
Unfortunately, while the brothers had the showmanship and magic necessary to pull off the job, they lacked the brainpower. Halfway through, their spines suddenly disappeared, and they decided to go off plan.
Her plan to drive Rarity out of business was moderately more successful. Not that it worked of course… but at least it put Rainbow Dash in the hospital. After that, Cherry Jubilee began to receive threatening clothe-written letters (they arrived by dragon flame, and though she could never prove it, she felt that the cross stitch the words were composed of were very distinct). She was forced to bide her time, and do nothing but instruct her Ponyville distributors to charge outrageous prices for the elements of harmony should they want any of her cherries.
It was slightly less than the glorious battle of wits she'd envisioned with the pair of ponies.
It seemed that two heads were better than one, for they had managed to stay ahead of her. But now she had… 'friends' of her own.
"Brain damaged by association." Jubilee mused. "What an adorable phrase."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie is not as sure as with Blueblood if you're our friend." The Great And Powerful Trixie admitted, putting down her food. "These are just educated guesses of The Great and Powerful Trixie. But you didn't seem to have many friends when we first met, and The Great and Powerful Trixie thought…"
"You thought correctly." Jubilee nodded. "I've never had friends. I surround myself with a varied selection of ponies, so I should have that special bond with somepony by now, but it never happened. And I will admit, when you came to town, I was most interested in adding you to my collection, but the Flim and Flam brothers just had more flair. I regret passing you by now. I'm sure if we'd come to associate then, things would have been much more… interesting."
The Great and Powerful Trixie blushed with Jubilee's carefully applied flattery. Prince Blueblood just wiped a fleck of dressing off of his chin, and said; "I want Dejour as my personal chef."
"It's a little early in our friendship to be making demands like that." The Great and Powerful Trixie hissed at him.
"So, how do you plan on fixing this little problem?" Jubilee asked, referring more to the problem of The Great and Powerful Trixie's sociopathy than to Blueblood's lack of etiquette. "I assume you wouldn't be gathering 'friends' unless you had a plan."
The Great and Powerful Trixie leaned forward. "The Great and Powerful Trixie's special talent is dreaming. Ordinarily, this would be quite the useless power, but as a unicorn, The Great and Powerful Trixie has mastered spells associated with my power. The Great and Powerful Trixie's plan, is to go inside Twilight's dreams, and steal the Elements of Harmony."
Jubilee sat down and folded her hooves. "But the Elements of Harmony aren't inside dreams, are they?"
"No." The Great and Powerful Trixie shook her head. "The Elements of Harmony are real, but useless baubles to anypony who doesn't have that connection. We will extract the concept of friendship from Twilight Sparkle's mind. The Great and Powerful Trixie has done similar things before. And once we steal her friendship, then we will have both the Elements of Harmony, and our right minds back."
"You can steal an abstract concept from somepony's mind?"
"I am the Great and Powerful Trixie."
Jubilee's smile widened. "But how would this effect Twilight's friends? If she loses her ability to keep her bond with them, would they be… brain damaged by association too?"
The Great and Powerful Trixie hesitated. "Well they could be. But if you don't want that…"
Question Mark raised his head out of his jello tub. The lid rested on his head like an oriental hat, and he found he had to smile at the annoying ponies that now graced his humble home.
"You realize that if you didn't have Jubilee behind you, I'd drop you all in the pit."
Cherry Jubilee and The Great and Powerful Trixie were suspended above a pit he'd built in front of his house. He'd put the rope traps underneath the cheery welcome mat. The house itself was almost a castle. Very well fortified, with a garden of thick thorny bushes. The one who called himself Prince Blueblood was frozen in front of his growling guard-boar.
Guard-dogs were for fru-fru ponies.
"Fortunately, your story checks out." Question Mark continued. "I used to be friends with Jubilee, until one day we suddenly weren't. And that was before I discovered that Jellies could be used to block mental intrusion." He wriggled his wings happily in the goo.
"So you're in?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.
"I have just one question." The Pegasus glared at the unicorn and the earth pony. "I'm all for going into Twilight Sparkle's mind. As the personal protégé of the princess tyrant, she must have information on the Colgate Conspiracy, the Time Lord Invasion, and the secret cabinet-making factories underneath ponyville. But how do I know this isn't a ploy to get inside my mind?"
The Great and Powerful Trixie looked to Jubilee, eyes begging her for help.
"Your mind will be protected. By the jelly." Jubilee said, trying to have grace under fire while hanging upside down over a pit. "We'll be invading another pony's mind. This pony will have to be put to sleep before Trixie casts her spell, and since you'll be awake at the time, nopony will be able to get inside your mind. Especially with the jelly."
Question Mark's smile broadened. "Finally, a chance to expose Celestia for the tyrant she is… I'm in. But how are you going to put the apprentice to sleep?"
Berry Punch had no friends. She much preferred the company of wine or cider to any pony, save her family. So she was confused as to why she was sitting down with four strange ponies. Ah well. One of them was buying her drinks, so it probably didn't matter.
"Now I may be a bit tipsy, but I know that this is impossible." She told the four of them.
"All things are possible to the royal line." Prince Blueblood said, haughtily.
"Oh… well yes of course, sorry for saying so your majesty." Blueblood was the one buying her drinks. "It's just… you want us to go inside Twilight Sparkle's head… so Trixie won't be a sociopath any more… so we can all be friends." She scratched her head. "I guess it makes a sort of sense… but wouldn't it be easier just to ask Twilight first?"
"Ask her!" Question Mark yelped in outrage from his jelly tub. "You'd think this is your first day trying to crack open a conspiracy! Don't ever ask a pony whether she's involved in something nefarious. She'll answer 'no' no matter what the real answer is."
Berry Punch thought this over. For a stallion who rolled around in a tub of jelly, he made a surprising amount of sense. She giggled. "Oops, sorry. I guess I didn't think about that."
"That's alright." Mark grumbled. "It was a rookie mistake. Just don't do it again."
Berry Punch giggled. "Well in that case… this is the best! Plan! Ever!"
"Berry, darling, I notice your cutie mark." Jubilee gestured. "And I wonder… how much do you know about adult beverages?"
"I. Know. Everything." She squealed, delighted that somepony else shared her interests. "I know which wine would be the best with barley, oats, alfalfa, or hay, I know nearly every different brand, I know which ones you soak in your ice cream, and which ones…"
"Do you know which ones are the best at putting a pony to sleep?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.
Berry Punch giggled. "Oh yeah. The good stuff. I know all about the good stuff."
Soon she would realize they were going to make her share 'the good stuff' and decided that this was the worst. Plan. Ever.
The Great and Powerful Trixie sat outside a Ponyville café with a young pegasus. She was yellow, with a blue mane, done up to make her look adorable. The younger Pegasus looked up at The Great and Powerful Trixie . "I won't go through with this plan." She said.
"A minute ago, you were telling The Great and Powerful Trixie that you were excited to finally be able to have friends."
"Yes, I am." Raindrop said. "But I've lived my whole life without needing friends, I can manage the rest of it." She reached out for Trixie's hoof. "Listen, Trixie. As much as I want to be your friend, what you're doing just sounds wrong."
"Fascinating." The Great and Powerful Trixie leaned forward. "The rest of us have grown up without friendship, and only one of us thus far have had even the smallest misgivings. Why would you protest?"
"Listen, I know you grew up not caring about anypony." Raindrop said. "But… honestly Trixie, this is insane. And so are you. Who cares if you don't have a special bond with somepony? That's no reason to treat them like they don't exist. Or worse, to try and hurt them just because they do."
Raindrop held Trixie's hoofs in her own. "You're not in your right mind, and you know that for a fact Trixie. So why don't you just end this now. Go to Twilight, get yourself fixed the right way. And then, if you still feel like invading somepony else's mind, I'll be behind you all the way. Because I'll be your friend, and I'll want to make sure you don't do anything you regret. But please… go the nice route first."
The Great and Powerful Trixie was speechless for a moment. And then she glared at Raindrop. "The Great and Powerful Trixie… will not go to HER for help."
"Then let's do something else." Raindrop suggested. "We might not need the elements to cure you. I could help you with your magic show? We could –"
"No. The Great and Powerful Trixie's plan will go forward." The unicorn said with finality. "And you will join us."
"No." Raindrop said firmly. "I won't."
"You work with the weather, correct?" The Great and Powerful Trixie pressed onward. "Ponyville's vice-weather pony, serving underneath Rainbow Dash. All that hard work you put in, making the weather neat and organized, and even managing to help Ponyville with odd jobs on the side. Celestia knows that it needs the help, with all of the property damage it goes through. You deserve the job more than that lazy spotlight-stealer. She only has the job because you're two years younger than her. You could manage the weather so much better than her."
"That's not going to work." Raindrop said. "I'm not going to invade Twilight's mind just because I have a bad boss."
"Oh, this has nothing to do with HER, Raindrop dear." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "I'm simply pointing out that you have talents. And those talents would be put to spectacular use crafting dreams instead of the weather."
"Ha!" Raindrop snorted. "As if. How could somepony even craft dreams?"
The Great and Powerful Trixie smiled. "Oh, it's quite fun Raindrop. It's not all dreams of falling, or turning up for school without clothes."
"I don't usually wear clothes to school." She pointed out.
The Great and Powerful Trixie soldiered on. "Some dreams can be very real. For example; do you know how you got here?"
Raindrop's face twisted into a quizzical expression. "What do you mean?"
"We're sitting at a café right now. How did we get to the café?"
"Oh, that's easy." Raindrop said. "We…" She froze, suddenly unsure of herself. "That is, I was walking in the park…"
"Dreams are the most useful when they're realistic." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "When you dream, you don't get a beginning, you're just there. But other than that, it feels like reality. This is all a dream, personally designed by The Great and Powerful Trixie. It's wonderfully detailed, isn't it?"
Raindrop stood up and walked around. None of the ponies made eye contact with her, which was really nothing new. But these weren't the Ponyville ponies she knew – it was less colorful, and the ponies seemed to all repeat themselves. They were just different variations of the same few ponies, the same cutie marks, the same mane styles, all just switched up like a giant mix n match game, save for the few unique ones.
"It's fascinating isn't it?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked. "Of course, normalcy is only one of the benefits of dreaming. I'm sure an artist such as yourself, could dream up a wide range of strange structures… like this."
Raindrop's eyes boggled, as she attempted to make sense of what she saw.
The pathway before her went up. And around. And still up. And still around. And then ended up right behind her.
Raindrop blinked and looked again. She ran along the path, running straight up the whole time, and ending up right where she started. "What is this?"
"A paradox." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "Don't tell The Great and Powerful Trixie that you can do the same thing with your rain clouds."
Raindrop looked around at Ponyville. "So I can…"
"Go ahead. This is your dream." The Great and Powerful Trixie smirked benevolently.
Raindrop looked around, and saw Sugercube corner. She flew over to it. "I can do anything, right? Just by thinking it?"
"Anything at all."
She grabbed a corner of the building with her hooves, and started flapping her wings upward. She pulled Sugarcube Corner up, until it was just one tower on a candy coated castle.
"Ha!" Raindrop flew around her castle, taking in every angle. "Ha-ha!"
"It's alright." The Great and Powerful Trixie admitted.
"Alright!" Raindrop flew down. "It's a castle! Made! Of! Candy!"
"It's alright." The Great and Powerful Trixie repeated, with an indifferent shrug. "Now, if you were to join us, you could make elaborate mazes, you could go into the dream every day, and…"
"And all I'd have to do is invade Twilight's mind?" Raindrop asked.
"Yes!" The Great and Powerful Trixie exclaimed joyfully. "All you have to do is dream with us and –"
Raindrop bucked her castle. Just one kick, and it exploded with confectionary goodness. The whole castle shook and poured down on them, candy flying throughout Ponyville, to the gratefulness of every cheering pony therein. The Great and Powerful Trixie stood speechless, as a trio if truffles made themselves into shish kabob on her horn, and a giant lollipop crashed behind her.
"I'm willing to be your friend Trixie." Raindrop said. "But you can't make friends with petty vengeance."
"You stubborn –!" The Great and Powerful Trixie almost boiled over… then she seemed to collect herself. "If you would just forget about all those ponies who have done nothing for you, and think about your future friends…"
"I am." Raindrop said firmly. "Wake me up."
Suddenly, it started to rain. Raindrop knew this was no ordinary rain; it was coming down in buckets instead of raindrops. It was practically a giant, horizontal wave.
She woke up suddenly. She was lying on a picnic blanket, drenched. The Great and Powerful Trixie sat across from her, and behind her, Berry Punch was sitting with a bucket of water.
The Pegasus sighed. "I'm out of here. Come and find me when you come to your senses."
The Great and Powerful Trixie watched her leave. "I thought she was one of our friends." Berry Punch said, disappointment lacing her words.
"She is." The Great and Powerful Trixie said with a smile. "Or at least she will be. Don't worry. She'll be back once she realizes what it is to dream without limitations. She won't be able to resist."
"I hope so." Berry Punch said sadly. "I really want her to be our friend."
The Great and Powerful Trixie snorted at her 'new friend's' childishness.
The six of them met in Berry Punch's house. Mark wasn't happy about leaving the safety of his bunker, but he acquiesced once he was allowed to cover the walls in jelly. Berry Punch was not amused.
She selected a sophisticated looking beverage from her stock. "Now this one is very special. It's imported from Trottingham. It'll put a pony right to sleep, but all you need to do is dunk the pony in water, and boom! They're awake, without even a hangover!"
"So, the pony who's asleep first is the one whose mind we'll be invading?" Question Mark asked.
"It's a little more complicated then that." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "The pony who is asleep when the spell is cast will not remember that they are dreaming. Or if they do, they'll only have remember it, like a dream. We will be able to convince her that what she's dreaming at the time is reality. This holds true for every time the spell is cast, or broken. If anypony is asleep already when travelling down or up, they will be unaware of what happened previous, only half-remembering it, as if it were a true dream."
"So you're saying, if we get left behind, we won't be able to tell?" Question Mark asked.
"Exactly." The Great and Powerful Trixie nodded. "Never fear, there is a solution. You need simply find a totem – something like this." The Great and Powerful Trixie held out a whistle. "Only The Great and Powerful Trixie knows exactly what pitch will emerge when she blows this whistle. Thus, if The Great and Powerful Trixie blows it and anything else comes out, she will know that she is dreaming."
"And if we know we're dreaming how can we wake up?"
"We can kill ourselves." Then, seeing the horrified reactions of her 'friends'… "Or, we can kick ourselves. Dying is probably a bad idea. You'll wake up, but it'll hurt a lot. Don't know why I even thought of it."
"That's it?" Question Mark asked. "We just kick ourselves?"
"Yes. Allow The Great and Powerful Trixie to demonstrate a kick." She smirked, and tapped her hoof against Prince Blueblood's chair as he leaned on it.
The resulting topple was impressive. If he was flying, the tricks he did before the inevitable crash might have earned him a spot on the Wonderbolts, and he managed to bring down five windows and the kitchen sink with him.
"My royal face!" Blueblood cried from the floor. "I demand that Trixie be arrested for this grievous assault!"
"It was just a light joke your higness." Jubilee said pacifyingly. "And if I may say so… you look most handsome when you fall."
The prince blushed. "Well of course I do. I am a prince after all. In fact, I declare that I will be the only pony to fall from now on, to spare your fragile peasant constitutions."
Berry paled at the damage done to her house. "Good thing I'm insured against royalty."
Raindrop growled in frustration as she tried to make a replica of what she saw in the dreamland. "Okay." She told herself. "One more time. I know you can do this."
She gathered the clouds together, making a small staircase with them. She crossed her hooves, focused on the cumulonimbus in front of her, and carved out a path. She took her time, carefully, taking over ten minutes to do it. Her face was fixed like granite, completely and utterly determined to recreate the paradoxical pathway.
All she got was a spiral.
"That's okay, that's okay… all I have to do is lower the angle." She wiped sweat off of her forehead. "I can do this. I will do this."
Slowly, she lowered the angle of the pathway. 30 degrees. 25 degrees. 20 degrees. Lower, and lower, and lower. Until finally, miraculously, the beginning of the path and the end of the path melded.
"Yes!" She cheered. "Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes! I've done… it…" On closer inspections, she realized the path she'd made was at a perfect angle of zero degrees. Completely flat.
"Aaaaaarrgh!" Raindrop screamed in frustration and slammed her hooves down on her creation. "It should be possible! It doesn't make sense! If she can dream it, I should be able to make it in reality!"
"Yo, kid!" She almost didn't turn around, such was her frustration. But she reminded herself that she needed to speak with her boss, and so turned around to meet Rainbow Dash.
Ponyville's self-proclaimed 'most awesome pony' looked at her funny. "Your weird cloud ring is raining on Applejack's apple cart."
Raindrop looked down at the irate earth pony. "Oops." She quickly cleaned up the cloud.
"Ah, don't sweat it kiddo." Rainbow shrugs. "But hey, what are you trying to do up here anyway? You've been working on this weird cloud for like, hours."
"Well actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." Raindrop said. Finally, a chance to get this massive pressure off her chest, and tell Dash that her friend was in danger.
"Hold that thought kiddo." Rainbow Dash soared down to the ground. Raindrop followed her down to where Scootaloo was playing with a turtle.
"I walked Tank for you Rainbow!" The young filly said excitedly. "It was so slow though, and I didn't get a cutie mark."
"Of course not!" Dash laughed. "You're gonna get a cutie mark for something awesome, not taking care of reptiles."
"Excuse me…" Raindrop tried to cut in.
"Ssssh." Dash said. "Tank's about to smile."
Raindrop watched as the tortoise slowly began to smile. There was a small pause, and Raindrop groaned in exasperation. Here she was, trying to save Twilight's life…
Nopony ever said she'd be hurt.
… Here she was trying to protect Dash's friend from having her privacy invaded, and she was more interested in this tortoise. She was convinced that this slow moving reptile was more 'awesome' then she was, and thus deserved more attention.
Stop thinking about all those ponies who've done nothing for you.
Trixies words came out of nowhere. But Raindrop batted them aside. True, Rainbow was annoying. But she couldn't stop caring. True, all of her friends wanted her to do it, but she knew what was right and wrong and she wouldn't let anypony tell her otherwise. They weren't even her friends yet, and at this rate they never would be.
"Come on, let's go to Sugarcube corner. You deserve a treat for your most excellent turtle-walking skills." Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo rushed around the corner.
Like she forgot Raindrop even existed.
This has nothing to do with HER Raindrop dear. I'm simply pointing out that you have talents.
Raindrop shook her head. She did appreciate it when people enjoyed her work, but she wasn't going to start hurting innocent ponies to get attention.
She drooped a bit, before she realized Applejack was also nearby. She could tell her!
She ran over to the apple cart, but before she could say anything, Big McLargehuge stepped in front of her. "APPLEJAAAACK!" He roared.
"Yeah Bigs?" The Earth Pony asked, nonplused.
"I WILL BUY…" Moving as if in slow motion, he drew his man-purse in the most overly-dramatic way possible. "ONE! BARREL! OF! GOLDEN! DEEEEELICIOOOUUUSS!"
"That'll be thirty bits." Applejack said cheerily.
"YEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" Bigs deposited his money on the counter, and left with a barrel full of apples.
Raindrop watched him leave with his crate of apples. She'd known Bigs as a filly. It was pretty hard not to know the enormous pegasi, who acted like ever waking moment was at its most extreme. Raindrop was an outcast, and even though she was several years younger then Bigs, she tried to make friends with him, and the assumption that he was an outcast too.
All ponies have friends. Everypony has a special connection with those friends before they even meet
She soon discovered that, even though she thought of herself as normal, even a little cuter and nicer than most, and even though he was brash, over-excited, and abnormally proportioned, he had friends and she didn't.
That was a low day for her self-esteem.
If a pony like that could have friends…
She paused at the thought.
True, Trixie was brash, and egotistical, and had nothing even remotely close to sympathy for her fellow ponies. But why shouldn't she have friends? Friends forgive their friends, right? So maybe she could give Trixie another chance.
"Hey sugarcube, can I get'chya anything?"
She jumped. Without even realizing it, she'd kept on walking right up to Applejack's stand. "Oh… um…"
She agonized. She wanted to tell Aplejack about Trixie's plan. But that would get Trixie in trouble, what with Twilight being Celestia's favored student, and it wasn't like she'd actually done anything wrong yet. And… friends don't betray friends, do they?
Raindrop trotted up the path to Berry Punch's house. She didn't know how she got into this mess, or how she'd get out, but she may as well dive in headfirst.
A small razorback boar was resting on her front steps. It looked up at Raindrop as growled at her. She growled back. The boar considered its options, and stood aside for her.
Raindrop opened the door, and walked inside. "Berry? Berry we need to talk!" She was surprised to see that the walls were coated in a thick jelly. She went to the living room, and was surprised again to see five ponies there, surrounding… oh, she recognized that stallion. That was Canterlot's most eligible stallion, Prince Blueblood!
Raindrop felt her heart titter for a moment, before she realized that both he, and Berry Punch, were unconscious. A beam of magical light was connecting their heads through a crystal that sat between them.
"Raindrop!" The Great and Powerful Trixie smiled. "You came around?"
"What are you doing to them?" Raindrop asked.
The Great and Powerful Trixie looked confused. Then she looked to Prince Blueblood and back again. "Oh." She laughed. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is merely educating our soon-to-be-friends on proper dreaming form." She pulled Blueblood's face into a funny face.
"How did you get past Rassilon?" Question Mark asked.
"Rassilon… izzat that boar you had out there?" Raindrop shrugged. "I dunno. I guess he must've liked me."
"So you have decided to return to The Great and Powerful Trixie for your friendship?" The unicorn asked.
Raindrop shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. But I'm only here to make sure nopony gets hurt." She stuck her hoof out at Trixie. "I still think this plan is crazy."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie is not crazy." She let go of Blueblood's face. "Unless of course you mean crazy awesome!"
"No, I mean crazy." Raindrop said. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"
"Certainly. In fact, you are just in time." The Great and Powerful Trixie grinned wickedly at Blueblood. "Watch as The Great and Powerful Trixie demonstrates a 'kick'."
The six of them stood in the middle of Ponyville square in a dream. "Allow The Great and Powerful Trixie to demonstrate proper dreaming technique." She said, and suddenly there was a jar of jelly behind her.
"Let us say, that you have a jar of jelly." She motioned to the jar. Inside the jar you place two things… Let's say a cat and some catfood." She took Rarity's pet cat Opalescence, and a bag of cat-food bigger then she was out of the folds of her cape. She tossed them inside the jar and closed the lid.
"Now, what do you suppose will happen?"
"Obviously, the cat will eat the food." Prince Blueblood said, nonpulsed by the fact that Trixie somehow had a cat and a sack of food for it hidden in her cape.
"Wrong." The Great and Powerful Trixie smirked. "Nothing will happen because we cannot observe it."
"I'm pretty sure that it doesn't work that way." Question Mark said.
"Of course it does." The Great and Powerful Trixie scoffed.
Jubilee had a thoughtful look to her. "Bunsen was talking about this… oh I remember! You're talking about Schrodinger's cat theory!"
The Great and Powerful Trixie beamed. "Exactly! Look; if you can't observe the cat, or the food, then they do not exist. Thus, if The Great and Powerful Trixie opens the door and finds the food eaten…" She did open the jar, and the food was eaten. She closed it again. "Or if The Great and Powerful Trixie opens the door and finds the food uneaten…" She opened the door again, and the cat was lying down, food untouched.
"You made the cat un-eat the food!" Berry Punch gasped.
"As far as the pony mind is concerned, if you cannot observe something, it does not exist." The Great and Powerful Trixie explained. "Thus, whether the cat ate or not is entirely dependent on whether you dream it. As a rule, as long as you're not looking, anything can happen. For example; the cat and the food could merge together into some sort of cat-food based superhero."
She opened the door again, and the cat was indeed wearing a pink superhero costume, complete with a cape, a large 'O' on the front. She hissed, and prepared to swipe at The Great and Powerful Trixie with a claw, covered in a protective layer of cat food, before she hurriedly shut the door.
"The cat could disappear entirely, giving way to a black hole, a portal to another dimension." She opened the jar, and the cat was hanging on for dear life as the black hole attempted to suck her in. The Great and Powerful Trixie shut the door immediately when she heard the claws scratching on the glass.
"There is no limit to what could happen. The cat could be replaced by some horrible cosmic abomination! A monster the likes of which nopony has ever seen!" She opened the door again and –
"SURPRISE!" Pinkie Pie burst out of the jar, confetti flying through the air.
Prince Blueblood let out an extremely girly scream and hid behind Raindrop.
Raindrop rolled her eyes. "That's no monster, that's Pinkie Pie."
"Au contraire!" The pink pony laughed. "I'm actually a horrible-cosmic-abomination-in-training!" She pulled out a badge. "Discord has the millennium off, so I'm filling in for him."
"I knew it!" Question Mark cheered.
"Well, I better get going now, I'll leave you all to your dreams." She waved goodbye. "Cthulhu fhtagn bronies!"
The six of them stared after her. "Which leads us into a lesson about controlling our subconscious. Mark." The Great and Powerful Trixie said, glaring at the conspiracy Pegasus.
"You can't prove that wasn't real! That was authentic proof that Pinkie Pie is a Great Old One!"
Rarity knew that voice. She spun on a dime, as Cherry Jubilee entered her boutique. Oh, she'd have to wash the slime off the floors when she left.
"Ms. Jubilee." Rarity acknowledged her in the same, dangerously polite tone she was using. "What are you doing in Ponyville?"
"Oh, the usual." Jubilee shrugged. "I'm in town for business, and I thought I'd drop by. Visit my pen pal, or should I say, threatening messages written in quilting pal."
Rarity's mind took in every facet of Jubilee's attire. She noted a mark on the trim of her dress, where somepony had unsuccessfully tried to remove a jelly stain. Blueberry, if she wasn't mistaken. Her hair was done up simply, pulled back in a manner which would be appropriate to keep the hair out of her eyes. Her clothes were sub-par, but elegant to the untrained eye. She was in town, staying with somepony who was either a sloppy eater or had copious amount of jelly, and working on something that required more than just mental exercise, but physical. She was, no doubt, scheming against Rarity and Applejack as usual, but she was letting Rarity know she was in town, which didn't make any sense unless…
Unless she was using herself as a distraction.
Rarity smiled, disarmingly, as her mind raced through the possibilities of what she was being distracted from. "Oh, well it is nice of you to visit, Ms. Jubilee. But I'm rather busy at the moment."
"No time to make a dress saddle for your old employer?"
"No time to make a dress saddle for my old adversary." Rarity decided to bluff, pretend she didn't know Jubilee was trying to distract her, as she made her way to her work desk. "Although, I might be tempted to make a work of art for you if you'd tell me why you're really in Ponyville."
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know what I have in store? But that doesn't seem like a fair exchange to me, a dress for a master plan."
"I suppose I could figure it out myself." Rarity lit up her horn and began to sew up one of Cheerilee's chapeaus, while surreptitiously using her magic to write a note out in the next room. Applejack insisted on ensuring she learned to write blind. As she scribbled out a short warning of Jubilee's presence in town, and fixed it onto Opalescence to take down to the farm, she continued talking. "After all, your schemes aren't very imaginative."
Jubilee laughed. Rarity might let herself be provoked even when she knew she was being provoked, but Jubilee would not lose her cool. "If they're so unimaginative, why didn't your dresses feature in Hoity Toity's fashion column this morning like he promised?"
The momentary distraction in Rarity's focus, was enough that she slipped the note into Opalescence's collar to tightly, and her cat let out a yell.
Jubilee grinned at the evidence of Rarity trying to pull an unseen magic trick. "It sounds like you should go check up on your cat." She said, knowing that Rarity wouldn't keep her eyes off of her if she sounded like she wanted the opposite.
"Opalescence will be fine." Rarity said, dismissively, urging her cat to leave and warn Applejack before dimming her horn. "How did you manage to snare Hoity Toity?"
"Oh, I didn't. I merely snared Prince Blueblood, and had him talk to Hoity."
Rarity's jaw dropped. Jubilee smiled the most condescending smile she could. "I heard about that fiasco at the Gala. You should have tried harder for him dear."
Rarity pulled her jaw up. "Oh dear." She said, making an amused face. "Jubilee, you don't know what you've gotten into. I know we're enemies, but honestly, I would not even wish Prince Blueblood upon Discord."
"You just don't know how to handle a stallion properly." Jubilee winked. "Of course you realize, with a Prince on my side I won't have to worry about those incriminating photographs you have. I'll be leaving town in one week. I'll be taking one of your friends with me. Try and stop me."
She left, without another word spoken between them.
Outside, Jubilee went a distance into the forest, into a secluded grove where she was sure nopony could hear her. There, she met up with a young pony in a black catsuit. "Did you get it?" She asked.
"Yes." She said sadly. She pulled a large emerald out of her bag. The emerald was cut in precisely the way Trixie would need it in order to cast the spell on all seven of them. Jubilee nodded with satisfaction. "Well done Coconut dear. I believe you'll find Mr. and Ms. Sprinkle in your home when you return to it."
This was a lie. When she returned home, Coconut Sprinkle, an orphan, would find Flim or Flam ready and waiting to enchant her to believe that she had parents, and that Jubilee had kidnapped them in order to make her do what she wanted. Coconut would demand her parents as payment for one job, as usual, so Jubilee would squeeze multiple jobs out of her by replacing her memories after each one. She didn't know why the filly insisted on being so difficult. Her cutie mark was stealing, she should be happy for Jubilee to give her some work. She lied to Rarity too. She wasn't in town to steal one of her friend. She was in town for revenge. She just wanted Applejack and Rarity to scurry around, worried needlessly, while she stole a gem from right under Rarity's nose.
But unbeknownst to her, Rarity had come away from the conversation with something too. As soon as Jubilee had left, Rarity closed her boutique for the day, and began to compile a list of ponies in Ponyville who were excessively sloppy eaters, to cross reference with every blueberry seller in town to discover who Jubilee was staying with.
"The horror! The horror!" Berry Punch screamed, as she hid behind Question Mark's jar.
Raindrop grunted as she bucked a royal canterlot guard. "Mark, did you dream these ponies up? Could you tell them to know it off?"
"These are projections!" The Great and Powerful Trixie yelled over the swarm of pegasi trying to pin Raindrop so the ponies on the ground could get to her. "They are representations of the dreamer's subconscious!"
"I didn't do this!" Berry Punch yelled, watching in horror from behind Mark's jar.
"Of course not. They are simply natural safe-guards of the mind! When they sense a foreign pony, they attack without question, and cannot be stopped by Berry Punch telling them to stop!"
"Why weren't they attacking until now!" Raindrop grunted, as a pair of pegasi behind her were crushed by an anvil that inexplicably fell from nowhere. She was getting good at dreams.
"Because your manipulations were more subtle earlier!" The Great and Powerful Trixie explained. "As the architect, you set down the parameters of the dream before you enter the dream proper, but the more you manipulate it after that, the more aggressive the projections become! This is why The Great and Powerful Trixie needs stealth in order to gain the Element of Friendship, not just brute tactics, and why unless the projections start a fight, you shouldn't manipulate the dream!"
"Oh, thanks for telling me now!" A pair of poles burst from the ground, and she corkscrewed through them, a feat which the other two pegasi were unable to replicate. The twin thuds were impressive.
"It's your fault for missing the earlier briefing! If you want to wake up, just make it rain, okay?"
"I need a second architect." The Great and Powerful Trixie mused.
Cherry Jubilee strolled beside her. The pair of them were walking through a dream where the two of them were royalty. They were in the royal palace, and everypony around them was bowing. "Of course. Raindrop is the most necessary for our plans, and yet the most reluctant to go along with them. Even if she cooperates fully for Twilight's mind, there's no way she'd agree to invade the other element's minds."
The Great and Powerful Trixie raised an eyebrow. "How long have you known we were going for all six of them?"
"Oh, it's obvious Trixie." Jubilee laughed, and her laugh was at once as beautiful as bell chimes and dangerous as a hyena's warning. "I am very good at reading other ponies."
"Was it so obvious the other ponies might suspect?"
"Question Mark suspects, but he has no less proof then he has of the 'secret cabinet making factories beneath Ponyville'. And I've been leading him along, focusing him so much on Twilight's mind that he has no time to look elsewhere."
The Great and Powerful Trixie paused. "You mean you knew he knew? And you led him away from the thoughts?"
"You say that as if it was difficult." Jubilee preened. "Making sure ponies cooperate even though they're not friends, nor even friendly, is something of a specialty of mine. It's a subtle art."
"Really?"
"Of course. Take Blueblood. His attitude is the same towards each and every pony; that they are inferior to him. He only lets you run the show, because he imagines that he's ordered you to run the show. But the other ponies reactions to him differ drastically. Raindrop was infatuated with him at first, but now she can't stand him, and she can't stand him even more for the fact that she used to be infatuated with him. Mark avoids him at all costs, which is generally easy as long as he's in his tub or Rassilon is by him, but when they do interact, neither of them hold back their contempt. Berry Punch gets along with him fine as long as she's not sober, I tolerate him for the sake of the mission, and you don't like him but you like the idea of liking him." Jubilee laughed again. "He's just one pony, and yet he makes it almost impossible for us to work as a team. And this isn't even going into the rest of us, and the way our group dynamic changes from day to day. It's not even going into the wider range of emotions and motivations that might make this group fall apart at any moment, chipping away at them. Even I don't have a full grasp on those little things."
Jubilee realized that while she had kept on walking, while The Great and Powerful Trixie stood still, so she turned around. "Darling, while you've been plotting and scheming your petty vengeance, I've been doing my level best to make sure we don't drive each other more insane than we already are. Believe me when I say, I am the only reason your plan is thus far working. Did you think I wouldn't know every facet of this plan?"
The Great and Powerful Trixie nodded. "Very cunning. And that's why The Great and Powerful Trixie wants you to be the second architect."
"I'm no artist deary." Jubilee warned her. "I weave webs and words, I craft traps and snares, I always place the highest importance on function, not fashion."
"You can borrow Raindrop's mazes for Twilight and adjust them for each pony." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "When we didn't have Raindrop, and we tested everypony for architect ability, the only thing wrong with yours was your lack of imagination. Whereas Mark's subconscious ran amok. Prince Blueblood exploded everything. Twice. And Berry…"
"I don't need to be reminded of Berry Punch's turn, thank you." Uncharacteristically, Jubilee shuddered. "Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I can't refuse. But may I ask… you're the most knowledgeable of any of us when it comes to dreaming. Why couldn't you be the second architect?"
The Great and Powerful Trixie glared. A second later, mocking laughter was heard. The two of them looked around.
A bright lavender unicorn, with plain straight hair, laughed at The Great and Powerful Trixie. The Great and Powerful Trixie grimaced, and pulled the forces of the dream around her. She sent a powerful blizzard at the unicorn, but the laughing continued. She crushed the frozen unicorn under a hundred ton anvil, but the laughter continued. She tore through the fabric of the dream itself, bringing the sun down from the heavens to rain a fiery death upon the landscape.
And as the world burned around them, the laughter continued.
"I cannot dream any more." The Great and Powerful Trixie snarled. "I have not been able to dream, since SHE humiliated me in front of all of Ponyville. SHE haunts my every sleeping moment."
If Jubilee were The Great and Powerful Trixie's friend, she would have said something. She would have commented on the unhealthiness of her obsession. She might have given her a shoulder to cry on. She might have even given her a gift to cheer her up.
But The Great and Powerful Trixie was not her friend. Just a pony in a special place in her collection. So she offered flattering words, and egged on Trixie's obsession, claiming not to doubt that The Great and Powerful Trixie would conquer Twilight Sparkle. Making sure that, friend or no, The Great and Powerful Trixie would be absolutely loyal and trusting of her.
And she was rewarded when, with tears in her eyes, The Great and Powerful Trixie asked her for a favor.
Raindrop put down her tools and breathed a sigh of relief. "Done."
In her hands was her own personal totem; a Cloud Key. Cloud Keys were used a lot by pegasi; a small, hoof-held cloud, which would emit a miniature weather combination when struck. Usually they were used to lock Cloud Locks, but only Raindrop knew the combination that this particular Cloud Key used.
Thanking her dad for teaching her how to do this, she finished painting the cloud blue and stuck it in her mane.
"Hello."
She spun around, startled. It was only Cherry Jubilee. She relaxed, and trotted up to her. "It's a bit late. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just putting the finishing touched on my totem." She said coyly. "I probably should have finished it ages ago."
"I know." Raindrop blushed. "I was just doing the same thing myself."
Of course you were. I watched you, and I just hinted that I watched you, but you're still so clueless. Cherry Jubilee smiled at the naïve little filly in front of her. "Oh Raindrop darling, aren't we all so clueless sometimes?" She laughed, and Raindrop joined in, not knowing she was laughing at her.
"You know Raindrop…" Jubilee began. "You and I seem to be the only sane ponies here at times."
"I know." Raindrop agreed. "This whole plan… to be honest, it's crazy."
"Oh there there darling." Jubilee hugged Raindrop. "Take it from somepony who's had to work with a wide variety of ponies before. We all have our little quirks. Everypony is irrational in some way. The key is to get along with them because of their differences, not in spite of."
"Even if getting along with somepony means invading another pony's privacy?" Raindrop asked.
Jubilee chuckled. "Oh, I wouldn't be too worried. Trixie can be… melodramatic at times, but she doesn't want to see anypony get Twilight's mind is just the way she does things, and I'm sure she'll come around somewhat once she's been exposed to the elements. If it makes you feel any better, I doubt she'd object to you sharing our little totem trick with Twilight."
"Really?" Raindrop asked, with wide eyes.
"Of course." Jubilee patted her on the back. "If she does object, just tell her I told you to. I don't expect it to be necessary for Twilight's safety, but if it makes you feel any better about invading her mind, you should do it."
Raindrop let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Jubilee. I've been so worried about this, ever since I came on board with it."
"Relax Raindrop." Jubilee smiled in a way that the younger pony couldn't see. "Everything's going to go according to plan."
Twilight Sparkle boarded the train to Canterlot. She'd just received a message from Princess Celestia telling her that she needed to see her personally right away. She couldn't tell Twilight why, just that she'd need to be away from Ponyville for the remainder of the week. This was a big deal, and as it was, Twilight had to cancel her brunch with Applejack, and two Pinkie Parties.
"Miss Sparkle." The conductor seemed to be sweating. "Coming aboard?"
"That's right Mr. Whistle." Twilight handed him her ticket. "First class to Canterlot if you please."
Mr. Whistle looked nervously from Twilight to the ticket. "Well… alright then, if you're sure… but we might be a little late today. Trouble in the tracks you know. Maybe you should come back tomorrow?"
"Oh no, I'm sure it'll be an acceptable delay. I've already had to wipe my schedule clean. And I may even be able to help with any problems."
The conductor took off his hat and wiped the sweat off of his head. "Well… Alright then, all aboard."
He escorted a happy Twilight to first class, where a pink pony was already sitting. "Hello Twilight…" She said, staring out the window.
"Oh, hello Berry Punch." Twilight took a seat across from her. There wasn't anypony else in the train yet.
She grinned. "I didn't know you were heading to Canterlot too Twilight? I thought you were…" She looked at something written in her hoof. "Going to the next Pinkie Party?"
"I was, but something came up." Twilight said.
"So you've left Spike on your own?" Berry looked into the distance. "I'd had to leave my little bubbles on her own."
"Oh no." Twilight smiled. "My friends will visit him regularly to make sure he'll be okay. And he'll have my full itinerary, so there shouldn't be any problem finding me if there's an emergency."
"Full itinerary. Got it."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Suddenly, the train lurched forward. Twilight Sparkle cast a curious glance out of the window. The clock on the train station said it wasn't nearly noon yet, and there were still ponies on the station, looking at the train confused.
"Hey… we're leaving early." Twilight stood in her seat. "Yes, we're leaving a full half-hour early! Thank goodness I arrived early. I'm going to have to talk to the conductor about this. What if the other ponies need to go to Canterlot?"
"Twilight…"
Twilight froze. The voice was quite near her. She could feel Berry's breath on the back of her neck, and smell the sweet alcohol in the air. Twilight once had a friend in Canterlot who'd tried to pull this with her. "Now Berry, I don't…"
She turned around and Berry kissed her full on the lips.
Twilight froze. Her last conscious thought was that there was an extraordinary amount of saliva for a kiss, almost as if she was forcing the saliva into her mouth…
She collapsed on the ground, unconscious.
Berry wiped some of her special wine from her lips. "Poor little Twi-lightweight." She hiccupped.
The doors to the train opened up, and The Great and Powerful Trixie walked through, escorted by Cherry Jubilee. The rest of their group of 'friends' followed behind them. "Did she say?" Jubilee asked.
Berry hiccupped and giggled. "Yup. She's gotta full Martini to tell Spike where she is."
"Martini?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.
"Martiniary." Berry hiccupped, and giggled. "Itini. Imartini."
"Itinerary." Question Mark said, figuring out what she meant. "Did she tell you where the Itinerary is?"
Berry thought about it. "Eeeyunope." She beamed. "Forgot to ask."
"No matter, Coconut should be able to find it and erase it."
The doors opened again, and Flim and Flam entered. "The driver's still antsy." Flim said. "But once we showed him the picture we took of Berry and Twilight through the glass, he let it slide."
"Too right!" Flam laughed. "Well, with what Jubilee's paying him he's willing to ignore 'a couple of lovestruck young fillies'. You should have seen him blush."
"That's mean." Berry said. Raindrop nodded in agreement.
"But necessary." The Great and Powerful Trixie grinned. "I can't believe you planned this Jubilee!"
"I didn't plan this." Jubilee said, though she did grin demurely at the praise. "This is just a happy side effect of my original goal in shaking up Rarity. I did plan for it though, fortunately."
"And now…" The Great and Powerful Trixie took out the gem. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will cast the spell, and send us reeling into HER mind!"
"For the last time, are we sure this is the best idea?" Raindrop asked everypony. "Is this really the way you all want to kick off our friendship?"
"Oh, you worry too much." Prince Blueblood scoffed. "What better way to start a friendship then by going on an adventure? It's what happens in all of the best novels."
"This isn't a novel." Question Mark muttered.
Raindrop was more preoccupied with; "You can read?"
"Enough!" The Great and Powerful Trixie ordered. "Into positions!"
While the others formed a circle, Jubilee passed the Flim Flam brothers a note. "Now I'm sure you'll do fine guarding us while we're asleep. But if the plan goes… off the rails, so to speak… then please try to pass this note along to whoever interrupts us before your wide, wide yellow streak undoes the whole thing."
"What note?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.
"Just a little surprise for whoever comes across us dear." Jubilee returned to her friends. They were forming a circle now, around Twilight Sparkle. Blueblood set down silk cushions to lie down on, and Berry Punch put on a special hat that had a pair of cider cans on it, with tubes running down to her mouth, presumably so she could intoxicate herself while she slept.
Question Mark gave Rassilon an affectionate noogie. "Give 'em Tartarus boy." He said.
"Alright… here we go everypony!" A bright blue light filled the train car, and everypony sat back and got ready to fall asleep.
Then The Great and Powerful Trixie gasped, and the spell failed.
"… what was that?" Raindrop asked.
"Sorry." The Great and Powerful Trixie took some calming breaths. "That was… I've never done something this big before, and… well, The Great and Powerful Trixie is not the most powerful of unicorns."
"You've done it with the six of us before." Jubilee commented.
"Yes, and it took a lot out of The Great and Powerful Trixie." The unicorn snarled. "And the seventh one now is like six unicorns in HER own right. SHE must have… some sort of mental training or… or something."
"And you plan on going down three levels like this?"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie will have more power than you could possibly imagine once she starts dreaming! She… just needs a little help with reality."
Jubilee sighed. "Boys, would you lend 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' a hoof?" She asked, barely keeping the annoyance out of her voice.
Flim and Flam lit their horns up and gave The Great and Powerful Trixie a boost.
The car filled with light again, both green and blue. A beam of light shone from The Great and Powerful Trixie's horn, and into the gem between them. The light shone through the facets and connected with the minds of the ponies, putting them into a deep sleep.
Deep in the heart of Twilight's library, in a hollowed out book under 'E', the element of friendship glowed. Soon, the other five elements followed suit.
"Let me see if Ah got this straight." Applejack said, as she and Rarity trotted along through her orchard. "Ah got the message that Cherry Jubalee's in town. Ah double-checked everythin' on mah farm, put Rainbow Dash on high alert, and bought an arsenal of cakes from Sugarcube Corner. All fine and dandy so far?"
"Yes, and I've informed Angel so he'll be able to protect Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie has been… unknowingly drafted. She's bribed Spike to deliver a message to Twilight under the pretense that it was from Celestia, so she would go to Canterlot for the week."
"And stop right there." Applejack shot an icy glare at her unicorn friend. "Ya didn't tell Fluttershy. Ya didn't tell Pinkie Pie. And ya didn't even tell Twilight!"
"Well… it's not like Pinkie doesn't already know somewhat…" Rarity mumbled.
Applejack sighed. "Ah know ya mean well. But Ah ain't comfortable keeping a part of mah life this big from mah friends. Especially Twilight."
"Oh, but darling, you promised you wouldn't tell!" Rarity made her eyes wide.
"That was when it was over. Ah wasn't planning on doing anything more with mah head then running the farm. No more mind games with you, no more fightin' fer control over Ponyville, just settling down with mah friends and running mah farm. But now ah got tah take up the fight again, and fer real this time. Ah want to do it with mah friends."
Rarity huffed. "Well Applejack… that's a very noble sentiment I'm sure, but how do you think they'd take it?"
"Ah think Pinkie Pie would be glad to know the extent of the 'game' she thinks we're playin'. If Rainbow Dash ain't already told Fluttershy, Ah'll bet she'll be a little intimidated at first, and then realize we're still the same old Applejack and Rarity. As fer Twilight, Ah reckon she'd be the most understandin' of all, so long as Ah make it clear Ah've never hid anything from her."
Rarity blushed. "Yes… yes, I suppose you're right. But It's just so emberassing…"
"More fer me then fer you I reckon." Applejack grinned. "You won in the end after all. Now tell me what else we're doing about Jubilee."
Rarity preened. "Well, I've discovered she's been staying with Berry Punch and Question Mark."
"Those two? Ah thought you said she was stayin' with Blueblood?"
"Well yes, aside from the blueberry stains, I also deduced where she was through a unicorn named Dejour who was preparing the barbarian's food." Rarity huffed. "Oh, I can't wait to figure out what their plan is, so I can…"
She didn't get to finishe her sentence. She and Applejack both collapsed, suddenly deep in sleep.
Pinkie Pie was baking, when all of a sudden her left hoof shook. She stopped, and looked down, as the shake began to turn into a tremor. The remor turned into an earthquake, and then a super-shake-quake! Then it travelled all the way up her leg, then a cross her shoulders, then down her right leg to the hoof. She waited patiently as the super-shake-quake slowly disappeared.
"Well, that was a new one." She said.
And then she fell asleep.
And then, because she's Pinkie Pie, and just falling asleep wouldn't be enough, she landed on her accordion (do not ask why it was in the kitchen) and it squeezed out, knocking over a bag of flour, which knocked over a mop. As flour settled down everywhere, the mop knocked over a row of silver ladles hanging on the wall, which in turn knocked over the sugar tray. Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake happened to walk by, and when he saw that Pinkie Pie was covered in flower, his five-month-old brain deduced that it was playtime. As he started pounding stuff, Pumpkin Cake made a beeline for the spilt sugar.
Derpy Hooves and Zecora were having a picnic in the zebra's backyard. "And then the tree snuck up on me and hit me in the face." The lazy eyed Pegasus bemoaned her fate.
"Well whatever you did to get on the tree's case, at least no harm's been done to your pretty face."
Derpy blushed bashfully. "Aaaaw, Zecora, you're making me blush. And… you know I'm not one to gush?"
As un-poetic as it may have been, Zecora loved it when Derpy rhymed. She leaned in closer to her Pegasus friend, when one of Derpy's eyes saw something and she quickly pushed Zecora away.
With a small thump, Rainbow Dash landed directly in between them. Pie splattered onto the two ponies, and she started snoring in the pie. Derpy blinked, twice, before smiling and licking the pie off of herself.
Zecora sighed. "A Doctor's work is never done. A pity; this day was becoming fun."
Angel marched in front of the many creatures who lived with Fluttershy like a general mustering an army.
"Oh Angel… won't you please let me out?" Fluttershy's voice barely managed to get through her cottage doors. Angel's ears were the only ones sensitive enough to hear them. He quickly checked again to make sure her entire cottage was boarded up, before returning to his troops.
They were a sorry, sordid lot. Some of them were inexperienced in the ways of war, having lived their whole lives under the protection of Ponville, or Fluttershy. Others had been found by Fluttershy, near death, and she'd dragged them back from the brink.
Angel was one of the latter. He'd been fighting a losing battle against a dragon when she found him. He was the last of his warden, all eaten, when Fluttershy came along and admonished the dragon to let him go. He wanted to keep fighting, to kill the dragon or die trying, but she'd taken him back home, and given him a chance to live a new life, one not filled with vengeance.
He looked around at the sky, darkened by the flying creatures overhead. He looked at the forest, sandbags piled higher than any normal pony could leap, and animals of all sorts ready to engage an enemy.
None of them had what it took to willingly charge into a dragon's cave and try to kill it...
But they'd all been touched by Fluttershy's kindness.
Angel took off his army hat and looked up into the sun. He would be her guardian angel. Somepony wanted to hurt Fluttershy, and take her from her friends. But Celestia as his witness, there was no force in Equestria he would not move to keep Fluttershy safe and sound. Not a single pink hair on her head would be hurt!
His keen ears picked up the smallest of thumps inside the cottage.
In a wild panic, Angel leaped forward and tore through the barricade he'd made. Inside, he found Fluttershy, her face angelically soft and her lower lip fluttering as she slept.
Princess Luna looked up from the book she was reading. That was… a very powerful incursion into the world of dreams just then. She hesitated. In the old days, that would have meant Cobb or one of her disciples was up to no good. But this was much more powerful then one of Cobb's incursions, and it involved a great deal more ponies.
Maybe her sister had made an annual dreaming festival of some sort in her absence?
Canterlot hospital was a busy place, and for that Princess Celestia was usually grateful. It meant that ponies were too busy to bow and scrape to her wherever she went.
But this seemed to be a slow day. Everypony stopped and bowed as she approached. Even doctors wheeling a patient around! Even the patient, whose bones cracked quite loudly when she got up to bow!
"Now now, none of that!" Princess Celestia said. "I'm sure you're all extremely busy ponies. You… whatever you're suffering from, it certainly exempts you from bowing." Thankfully, the mare seemed to be in too much pain to argue, and settled back down on her stretcher to be wheeled away.
Chief Doctor Scruffy Mane jogged up to her. "What can I help you with your majesty?" She asked in the unrepentantly uncouth tone that Celestia loved to hear from her subjects every now and then.
Celestia smiled. "I heard that an old friend of mine is interned here. Do you know where Doctor High Hope is?"
Scruffy nodded, and gestured her to follow, not giving any other courtesy.
She led Celestia to a room on the second floor. "Dr. Hope, you have a visitor." She said brusquely. And then she left without a word, presumably to tend to her other patients.
Dr. High Hope was sitting in a hospital bed, looking no weaker then when last Celestia had seen him. He was heavily bandaged around the neck though.
"Oh, Dr. Hope." Celestia's horn opened the curtains to let the sun in, and summoned flowers to rest on his bedside. "How are you?"
Dr. Hope took out a pencil and paper. "As good as can be expected." He wrote. "You?"
"The same I should think." Celestia smiled. "I was excited when you made an appointment with me. I'm glad you did have a reason not to show up. What happened?"
"One of my patients." He wrote. "She's a sociopath, and I brought her to Canterlot so you could cure her with the Elements of Harmony. But before I did, I took her to see Dr. Pie…"
"What on earth did you do that for!" Celestia asked.
"I thought it would help her be more convinced of the choice she should make, if she saw where making the wrong choices lead."
Celestia sighed and shook her mane. "That's… very noble of you Dr. Hope. Continue?"
"Well, the night before we were supposed to see you – three day ago – she attacked me while I was asleep. She suffocated me with a pillow, and when I struggled she stomped on my throat with her hoof."
"How horrible!" Celestia frowned. "So there is a killer loose in Canterlot?"
"I wouldn't call her a killer. Technically, she never killed anypony."
"Dr. Hope, she tried to kill you."
"And now she's probably running scared, worried about ending up like Dr. Pie. We need to find the poor dear soon so we can cure her."
Celestia sighed. "Your optimism does you credit Dr. Hope." Celestia said. "Can you tell me anything about your patient, or where to find her?"
"Her name is Trixie. I've already told everything to the guardponies. They can't find any record of her, besides when she appeared in Manehatten eleven years ago. And she's disappeared again. They can't find any trace of her, except for somepony matching her description buying a train ticket to Ponyville."
The last word made Celestia's blood run cold. Suddenly, she remembered one of Twilight's letters. It was just one in a hundred, but she remembered this one because of a new name attached to it.
Trixie.
"Ponyville? Are you sure?" Dr. Hope nodded. She felt something turn in her gut. She'd experienced the feeling before, a mother's intrinsic knowledge when their child was in danger,. Twilight wasn't her daughter, but the feeling was very, very close. "Did Trixie ever mention having past history in Ponyville?"
"She talked a lot about a unicorn there that upstaged her."
That was all Celestia needed to hear to confirm her suspicions. "Thank you for letting me know Dr. Hope. I wish you a speedy recovery. I have to get going soon. Now. This instant."
She didn't bother with the hospital's front door. She leapt straight through the walls, passing through like a ghost, and soaring into the sky. She felt the sun's rays glowing around her, and puller herself into its warmth.
And then she let go.
It was a favorite trick of hers. She dropped straight out of the sky down to Ponyville, using the Earth Pony Magic to cushion the inevitable blow. She had just enough time to check and make sure nopony was beneath her, before landing hard in front of Ponyville's library.
"Twilight!" She pushed through the door, in her haste not checking to see whether it was locked. The door came crashing off of its hinges.
She winced, but proceeded forward. "Twilight? Are you home?"
"Princess?" Spike came down from his room at the top of the library. "What are you doing – oh, did you have to break down the door?"
"Where is Twilight?"
"She – uh – she went to Canterlot to see you."
Princess Celestia hurriedly put the door back together. "Why?"
"Um… because… there's this question she wanted to ask you? All right! I confess!" Celestia merely glanced at the baby dragon and he gave in. "I gave her a note telling her to come see you! Pinkie Pie gave me ice cream to do it! She said it was just one of her pranks! I'm SOOOORRRYYYYYY!"
"It's quite alright Spike." Celestia tried to undo the knot that was curling around in her stomach. "Do you know how she was travelling to Canterlot? Train? Carriage? Did she walk?"
"Um…" Spike looked around. "I'm sure she wrote it down in one of her schedules."
"Please, go and find out Spike." Celestia pleaded. "I have reason to believe she's in danger."
"You don't have to tell me twice!" The dragon bolted to where he kept Twilight's schedules. He pulled out a scroll, and undid it. It dropped to the ground, and rolled across the floor, all the way out of the library's door. "Um… it may take a while though."
"Please hurry." Celestia began to pace. She hadn't had a murderer in Equestria for years, and now one popped up and had some sort of connection to Twilight.
Sister. I need you. She pleaded in her mind.
What is it sister? Luna responded.
There's a murderer on the loose in Equestria. I need you to research everything you can about a mare named Trixie.
Immediately.
"Twilight! Twilight, you in there!"
Celestia snapped out of her internal conversation with Luna, and opened the door. It broke off. She decided it must have been the weak hinges, because she couldn't be so nervous it was effecting her magic.
Outside, three little fillies came to a stop in front of the library. Judging by the bright blue scooter they were riding, she decided they must be the Cutie Mark Crusaders Twilight wrote about. And in the wagon following the scooter…
Oh no.
"Princess Celestia!" The fillies stopped, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle bowed. Applebloom however, didn't have time for formalities. "Yer majesty, Pinkie Pie just fainted dead away and we can't wake her up!"
"Stand aside." Celestia didn't want the foals to see the sight of a corpse, if that was indeed what this was. Thankfully, it didn't appear to be. Pinkie Pie seemed to be fine. She was even hugging a stuffed panda in her sleep.
"She's just asleep." Celestia said, somewhat relieved. Hopefully, whoever Trixie was, she wouldn't know a poison complex enough to put somepony to sleep before killing them. Even she didn't know of such a poison and she had quite the memory, so Pinkie Pie must be safe for now.
"We came to find Twilight." Applebloom said. "She's always hooking Pinkie up to them fancy machines of hers. Maybe she'll know what's wrong."
"Unfortunately, Twilight is away at the moment." Princess Celestia said. "But I'll be sure to mention Pinkie Pie to her when I see her…" She paused, as something came up behind the crusaders.
The large red stallion she knew as Big Mac was galloping up the road. Applejack and Rarity's sleeping forms were on his back.
The knot in her stomach was back with a vengeance.
Big Mac stopped before her and bowed. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle gasped when they saw their sisters. "Big Mac! What happened?"
"I dunno." He mumbled.
"Let me guess." Princess Celestia said between short breaths. "They just collapsed, for no apparent reason?"
"Eeyup."
"What's wrong with them?" Applebloom asked, shaking her sister. "Is this some sort of magical sleep disease?"
"Magical sleep disease!?"
In her panic, Celestia forgot that she tended to draw a crowd when she was in public. It seemed that one pony in the crowd watching her, a mare with a flower in her hair, was staring at the sleeping ponies like they were about to rise up and bite their heads off.
"Everypony for themselves!"
The populace of Ponyville descended into panic. While only a few screamed, most were quick to get inside and lock their doors.
"Is this usual?" Celestia asked.
"Nnnope."
"Then why do those ponies have hazmat suits?"
"Question Mark." Big Mac said it like it explained everything.
"Hey, there's somepony!" Scootaloo called.
Celestia's fears doubled. Zecora the zebra and a strange grey Pegasus were coming up the path… Rainbow Dash on Zecora's back.
"No way!" Scootaloo yelled, upon seeing her idol. "What could've taken out Rainbow Dash!"
Derpy bowed so low she face-planted into the street. Zecora gave a bow too. "A long time it has been, since this sight I have seen." Zecora said to Applebloom, with sorrow in her voice. "Doors are barred and curtains drawn, don't tell me I've been away too long?"
"Awe, you know we'd never hide from you again Zecora." Applebloom spoke up. "But we're having a problem with our sisters. We think they maht've caught some sort of weird sleeping disease."
Celestia's heart reached a crescendo as she heard Zecora's words. "This sleep is most unnatural, at best guess I'd say it's magical. I have no cure for this malady, I was hoping to find one in this library."
Sister! Please tell me you've found something! Anything!
Patience, the guardponies have shared everything with me, and I'm going to follow some leads now!
"Oh no, they got fluttershy too!" Derpy quickly put on a Haz-mat suit.
Celestia felt like she was going to through up. The sweet, demure Fluttershy, was being carried through the streets by a swarm of animals.
I have something!
Tell me!
Trixie's description matches a unicorn who disappeared around the same time she appeared! Her name's Lulamoon, a unicorn who specialized in dreaming, like Cobb. The rogue wizard from yestercentury, remember? Sister, not fifteen minutes ago, I felt a disturbance in the plane of dreams that felt like Cobb's magic. Is this relevant?
Celestia almost screamed. "Spike! Spike, where is Twilight Sparkle?"
Spike looked up from the parchment. "I don't know! I mean… Twilight's usually so thorough… it's like parts of this itinerary have been erased!"
Sister, what's happening? What's going on?
Twilight Sparkle has been Ponynapped! Trixie is invading her dreams, and as a defense mechanism, the Element of Harmony has brought the other elements into the dream as well! But none of them have any idea what's going on, or that they're trapped in a dream with a unicorn who is capable and willing to kill them all!
He who has a thousand friends, has not a friend to spare. And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.
-Ali
The Great and Powerful Trixie looked around. They were in an exact copy of Ponyville. Well, almost exact. It was taken from Raindrop's memories, with a few paradoxical twists and turns to keep the projections at bay should they be so careless as to change more of the dream then was necessary. "You did a marvelous job Raindrop."
"Thanks, I guess." The Pegasus stopped to polish one of her mock town's lamp posts with pride.
"But where would she be in this weather?" Question Mark asked. "She could be in the park, enjoying her friend's company…"
"Well yes, aside from the blueberry stains, I also deduced where she was through a unicorn named Dejour who was preparing the barbarian's food." Rarity huffed. "Oh, I can't wait to figure out what their plan is, so I can…"
Fwoosh
"…send them back to… darling, did you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
Rairty took in everything around her. But it didn't take much for her suspicions to grow. "Applejack, where are the apples you were just bucking?"
Applejack looked behind her. If she'd been anypony else, she would have subconsciously planted the apples there. But she was the element of honesty, so when she turned around the buckets of apples she was bucking, which Raindrop didn't include in her designs for dream Ponyville, were not there. Frankly, it was amazing that Rarity hadn't subconsciously planted the apples herself. Applejack was the element of honesty, but Rarity only had her amazing eye for detail to help her.
"Well that's a mite peculiar. You don't think…"
"Well I'm sure I don't know what Jubilee would stand to gain from making a few barrels of apples vanish, but I'm not sure who else it could be."
Applejack looked over Rarity's shoulder to where Big Mac was bucking apples. He hadn't been there a second ago. "Hey Big Mac! What in tarnation are you doing in the west orchard? Don't you know it's Tuesday?"
Big Mac looked up and blushed. He shrugged, and picked up the bucket of apples in his teeth… and then he glared at her sister.
Applejack shrunk back in the force of the glare. Big Mac was looking at her like she wasn't apple family. Like she wasn't even a pony. Like she was some sort of alien in his sister's body… something that didn't belong. She doubted even Fluttershy could give this glare a run for its money. A normal pony might have panicked when seeing their big brother glaring at her this fiercely. But Applejack was the element of honesty, so she took another look.
"Ah don't think that's Big Mac."
"You don't?" Rarity had already curled up and hid behind Applejack to get away from Big Mac's glare. "How can he not be Big Mac?"
"Ah don't rightly know, but he ain't. Ah can feel it in mah gut. What has she done to him… oooh, when ah get mah hands on Jubilee… It's about this point where ah reckon you wish we'd told Twilight instead of shipping her off to Canterlot, right?"
"I admit, I may have made a slight mistake. Let's go see if Spike knows enough about magic to tell us what might be going on."
Pinkie Pie was baking, when all of a sudden her left hoof shook. She stopped, and looked down, as the shake began to turn into a tremor. The tremor turned into an earthquake, and then a super-shake-quake! Then it travelled all the way up her leg, then a cross her shoulders, then down her right leg to the hoof. She waited patiently as the super-shake-quake slowly disappeared.
"Well, that was a new one." She said.
Fwoosh
"I wonder what it means?" Her first thought, was that it meant holding a New Pinkie Pie Sense Pinkie Party, but whatever remained of her impulse control was able to convince her that would be a bad thing, because Twilight.
"I should totally go and find Rarity." She decided. "She always likes hearing about my new pinkie senses for that game she plays with Applejack." She tapped a hoof on her chin and knit her brow. "Hmmm… but who to look after the store?" She knew if she just stood there, brow knit, and hoof tapping, the answer would come to her.
"Excuse me, Pinkie Pie?"
She looked up, and saw Gummy wandering around the ceiling. "You're dreaming." He said, in an inexplicably French accent. And then he jumped into a passing bi-plane that was just his size, and pulled out a scarf and an aviator helmet, also just his size. He put them on, along with aviator goggles (somepony in the background yelled 'Yeeeeeah'). And then he flew into the oven, which also happened to be the magical portal to fun-land.
Pinkie Pie laughed. "Oh, of course I'm dreaming!" She got into her canoe-dog, who barked happily as she paddled it through the wall in sugarcube corner. "That must be what my new Pinkie Sense means!"
As she left, she didn't even mind as the Cakes, and Derpy, and every patron in the corner, stopped whatever they were doing to glare at her.
She didn't even notice that another Pinkie Pie got out from behind the counter to stare at her.
Fluttershy looked very crossly at the door. She had no idea why Angel was holding her a hostage in her own home, but it had to stop.
Fwoosh
She couldn't hear anything on the other side. Maybe Angel had decided to be nice and stop barricading her in?
"Angel, I am going to count to three." She said, in her loudest, sternest voice. "And when I'm done, you'd better have the door open… please."
She waited, but she didn't hear anything.
"Um… okay… one… two… three…" She charged the door with all he might, and tapped it with her hoof.
The door swung open lightly.
Fluttershy peeked through the open door. "Angel? Angel, are you there?"
Every other animal was there. They were all gathering around a pony who seemed to be feeding them.
"Um… excuse me…"
The pony who was feeding the animals turned around with a small 'Eeep'. She was a golden Pegasus with flowing long pink hair. Fluttershy let out a small 'eep' of her own, as she and her double instinctively hid from each other.
Fluttershy took a few deep breaths, and then went to comfort the poor pony, who was obviously very distraught. "Hello there. I'm sorry for startling you. My name's Fluttershy. What's yours?"
The other Pegasus mumbled something.
"What was that?"
She mumbled again, this time even quieter.
"Oh, I'm so sorry for intimidating you. Let me guess. Is your name… Fluttershy?"
The other pegasus looked teary eyed as she nodded.
"Oh. Well um… my name's Fluttershy too… but maybe if it makes you feel better, you could call me something else?"
The other Fluttershy looked up and nodded.
"Okay… um… I'm not sure which one of us is the real Fluttershy, so maybe we should go see Twilight. I'm sure she'll be able to tell. And then we can both figure out what's happening."
The shy Fluttershy nodded again. And when the real Fluttershy turned around to lead the way, she leveled a glare at her that would have made Angel run for cover.
Rainbow Dash flew through the air like she was born there. Which she was. Her mom went into labor while she was trying to save everypony's lives from a megastorm. And she did too. While giving birth. And someday, Rainbow was sure she'd be even more awesome then the mare who needed something to bite onto during labor so she wouldn't bite her tongue off from the abnormally painful childbirth, and chose to bite the stem of a tornado and use it to beat a megastorm to death.
I love the sky.
Rainbow Dash caught an updraft and soared towards the sun. She was flying over Everfree now, and the skies were untamed, untouched by weather ponies. Mostly because of the dangerous creatures that lived there. Like the pack of Manticores that had been sighted near Ponyville just once too often for Mayor Mare's liking. Normally, she'd leave creatures of Everfree to Fluttershy. But Mayor Mare decided this problem needed a touch of rainbow.
I own the sky.
The pair of maticores rushed forward, and Rainbow Dash narrowly evaded a swipe of paws, and two scorpion-like tails. Oh, who was she kidding? It was only narrow because it wouldn't be any fun otherwise. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a storm cloud, and with a grin on her lips she flew towards it. As the Manticores swung around, she'd already created a powerful downdraft with her wings, throwing the cloud towards the Manticores without even touching it.
And Celestia may as well strike me down for blasphemy…
Rainbow Dash ducked inside another cloud as the manticores dodged the first one. Most pegasi would take a couple of minutes to turn a normal cloud into a storm cloud. If properly trained, some could do it in less then fifty seconds. All it took for Rainbow was one good buck, and the cloud went from winter white to marble black. But she didn't even bother throwing it at the manticores. The only reason she needed a storm cloud, was because she needed lightning. She grabbed a bolt in her teeth like a sword and shot from her cloud like a hidden bullet.
Because I am the sky!
Whirling around like a flying top, she created a rainbow colored twister behind her. The lightning caught the drag from the twister, but while she still held it in her mouth it couldn't dissipate, so it simply grew, until it covered the length of her miniature tornado. She called it 'the Rainbow Whip' in honor of Daring Do's weapon of choice. The Manticores barely had time to stare at her in shock before they crossed the point of no return and got dragged into her tornado, the bolt of lightning flaying then each around ten times, though she was going for twenty.
Ordinarily this would call for a big ending, where she'd whip the lightning forward and it'd wrap around a cloud, and she could do some trick with that. But she didn't have an audience this time, so she came to a slow and steady stop, dropping the now weak lightning bolt. She was forced to pant from the exertion that trick called for, and she promised herself she'd train harder so she could pull off the big ending. But looking behind her, she was rewarded to see the two manticores splayed out in the branches of a particularly large tree, moaning in pain. She tiredly flew over to the pair of them, and they flinched as she approached.
"If you come near Ponyville again…" Rainbow said even though she knew they probably wouldn't understand her. "You're not going to get a polite yellow Pegasus with a bowl of broth anymore. You're going to get an angry blue Pegasus and a face-full of lightning. I just thought you'd like to know."
The Manticores tried to run from her. But they were a couple of stories up, so running amount to stumbling off the tree in a blind panic.
"And stay out!" Rainbow Dash crowed her victory.
She flew back to Ponyville victorious. She was so going to tell everypony… well, no, not Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash's face fell as she realized she wouldn't be able to tell her best friend about how much more awesome she was today then she was every other day.
Her face brightened as she looked down, and realized she could at least tell Zecora. She even saw her house down there. It looked like she was having a picnic with Derpy. Maybe they'd have something for her to eat. Rainbow Dash move to wipe the sweat off her brow…
Fwoosh.
And suddenly she realized she wasn't sweating. She wasn't even breathing heavily. She didn't feel like she'd even done the Rainbow Whip.
Confused, she landed on Zecora's picnic, only to find that there wasn't any picnic. In fact, Zecora's house had even disappeared.
"What the hay!" Rainbow Dash looked around. But suddenly, while she wasn't looking, Zecora's house was back where it was, and Zecora having a picnic with Derpy.
Her mind quickly dismissed the previous invisibility as some sort of magic zebra potion. It didn't even stick in her mind that the whole thing was just a little bit odd.
"Hey you two!" She cheered. "Did you just see how awesome I was?"
"Oh, yes." Zecora nodded. "You are the most awesome pony in Ponyville."
Rainbow Dash preened, and then stopped. Something… something wasn't right just then. She couldn't put her hoof on it though.
"What did you just say?"
"I said compliments to you, my pegasi friend. At last the Manticore's reign of terror, is at an end."
Rainbow Dash nodded. But now something else was wrong. She looked at Derpy and did a double take. Both of her eyes were fixed on a single point, and that single point was her. Derpy was glaring at her!
And then the moment passed, and Rainbow Dash felt really uneasy. "Uh, hey, I should probably… get going…" She looked at the two of them, unsure of what was wrong, but somehow aware that something was wrong, and she flew away.
Raindrop peered through the window. "Alright, she's in position." She felt butterflies in her stomach, but shot them down. It wasn't like they were going to hurt Twilight.
She smiled, and decided to just sit back and enjoy the view from Twilight's tree. She turned her attention to the detail she'd put into this dream, all of the houses, the ponies, the…
She stopped. The projections. All of the ponies, even though they shouldn't have been, were staring at her. More than just staring… they were glaring.
The projections knew she was here.
She quickly fluttered down to the base of the tree, where Question Mark was putting on his costume. He looked exactly like Princess Celestia. "We have a problem." Raindrop said.
Jubilee was all ears instantly. "What's wrong?" The others paid her slight heed, but were busy last-minute-coaching Mark. If any of these ponies were going to be her friend, she was glad Jubilee would be one.
"The projections are aware of us." Raindrop said.
"That's impossible." Jubilee said. "We've done this before, the projections only attack after a couple of hour in dream time, and that was when we knew we were dreaming. Twilight's been in her house as long as we've been here, so she couldn't be aware, and we haven't manipulated the dream at all except for Blueblood becoming Princess Celestia."
"I know." Raindrop said. "It doesn't make any sense at all. But the projections are looking antsy."
"Well, don't blow our cover just yet." Jubilee said. "Go and fly around. You're the architect of this dream, so you'll be the biggest target. If they do attack us, I'm sure we can manage, but we don't want to risk this entire operation before it's time."
Raindrop nodded and flew off. Jubilee turned back to the task at hand.
"And also, you must never let any common food touch your lips." Blueblood was instructing Mark. "Princess Celestia would never deign to do such a thing. Keep your nose in the air. Don't ever use those wings like a common Pegasus. No winking, no smiling, and none of your cheeky grins…"
"I think he has the picture." Jubilee intervened, noticing the annoyed look on the paranoid pony turned sun goddesses face.
"Hardly.' Blueblood sniffed. "I'm related to Celestia you know. I think I know how she would behave."
"We don't have time for that right now." Jubilee touched The Great and Powerful Trixie's shoulder. "We're running out of time, actually. The projections are getting active."
The Great and Powerful Trixie nodded. "Alright, this is it. Showtime. Break a leg Mark."
"What?" Berry Punch gasped.
"Not literally, of course."
Question Mark flapped his new Alicorn wings, and glided up to the windowsill.
"I thought I told you not to use your wings!"
Mark chuckled, and examined himself in the mirror, briefly, before rapping at it.
"That's not how Celestia approaches a commoner's house!"
"Hush Blueblood."
He knocked again, and this time Twilight looked up. In a flurry of motion, the door was open, and she was bowing at him. "Princess Celestia! Ohmigosh why didn't you tell me you were coming? Why are you here?"
"I have grave news my student." Mark said. "The Time Lords are invading. They will be here within the hour, and I am in need of the Elements of Harmony once again."
"Oh, of course, Princess!" Twilight scrambled through the shelves. "I'll grab them, and I'll go out and gather the girls immediately!"
Mark had to hold a chuckle back as he watched Jubilee's plan work flawlessly. The poor hapless little unicorn moved to the section 'E' and plucked out a book. He didn't catch the title, but it was the biggest book in this part of the library, and he could see why. Inside the book the elements of harmony rested.
"Excellent." He smiled, hoping it would look benevolent.
"What are Time Lord's Princess?" Twilight asked.
And suddenly, Question Mark's mind ground to a halt.
"You mean you don't know?"
Twilight blushed. "Well, I've never even heard of them. Maybe I missed a book in my library?"
"No no Twilight… do you mean I've never explained them to you in my secret lair?"
"You have a secret lair?"
Question Mark reeled. "Of course I do! Where I plot how to keep my subjects subservient to me! Where I concoct devious plans, and cabinets!"
"Cabinets?"
Question Mark staggered. Twilight's eyes were wide and innocent. And she thought he was Celestia, so she couldn't possibly be lying to him! The Time Lords… the secret lair… the tyranny… the cabinets… all nothing?
No… it couldn't be… perhaps Celestia was so despicably evil, that she didn't even tell her own most faithful student about her evil schemes?
The others watched through the window. "He's crashing and burning." Jubilee observed.
"It matters not." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "The foalish faker has revealed the location of the Elements of Harmony. And so she has revealed the first step… IN HER DOOM!" The Great and Powerful Trixie cakled.
"Really? Now ain't that interesting?"
The four of them spun around to see two very irritated mares behind them.
"You!" Blueblood gasped.
"You!" Rarity growled.
"You." Jubilee smirked.
"You!?" The Great and Powerful Trixie cried.
"Us." Applejack nodded.
"Me?" Berry Punch went cross-eyed from confusion.
A freight train burst through the library.
"What!?" Everypony cried simultaneously.
Pinkie Pie flopped off of the train's caboose as it passed by. She was wrapped in a sleeping back, and she crawled towards the group like a caterpillar. "Hi Applejack! Hi Rarity! Guess what? We're dreaming! It's just like real life, except here you can explain all the random things I do!"
Jubilee stared at the freight train that Pinkie had, apparently, conjured. She suddenly realized why the projections were acting up, despite the six she'd come in with not manipulating anything. Then she looked around the corner of the library.
Everypony in a mile radius was converging on Pinkie Pie, glaring ferociously.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat morosely at the steps of Ponyville Library. "Why won't they let us in?" Applebloom asked.
"Because we're fillies." Scootaloo angrily kicked a rock, and withdrew her hoof in pain. "They don't want us to be in danger." She said through gritted teeth.
Applebloom's eyes widened. "Scootaloo, you're a genius!"
"Huh?"
"Maybe we could fake a life threatening injury! Then they'd have to let us in to take care of us!"
Sweetie Belle stared at her, though the effect was somewhat ruined by drooping eyelids. "Applebloom, how are we going to fake a life threatening injury? The Princess could probably magic us better in no time."
"No, I don't think so." Scootaloo crossed her eyes in thought. "If she had super healing powers, she'd be teaching them to doctors, and she would've already cured everypony inside."
"I just…" Sweetie Belle's horn began to glow as she stifled a yawn. "I just wanna see my sister…"
"Good job Sweetie Belle!" She heard Applebloom say behind closed eyelids. "We're sure to get in if you fake the mysterious sleeping disease!"
Inside the library, Princess Celestia looked into the crystal orb she'd summoned. On the other side, her sister Luna was spreading every single piece of paper with every single piece of information on Trixe-the-mare-formerly-known-as-Lulamoon out on Dr. Hope's hospital bed. She looked down at the documents and up at her sister. "I have a plan. Possibly."
Princess Celestia's heart fluttered with hope as she watched her sister's progress through her crystal. "Anything."
"We may not be able to find Twilight Sparkle directly, but I could enter the dreaming too, and ask her."
"Explain this to me sister, quickly."
"I cannot go into her dream directly, but I can go to Limbo. If you keep the sun raised, I would only have to search through the dreams of ponies who take mid-day naps to find her dream, and with the amount of dreamers involved, and my own faded sense to the elements of harmony, it should be child's play."
"Excellent! But what then?"
"Then, I try to ask Twilight Sparkle where she is. It shall be like asking her to remember a dream; difficult, but possible. Since it is Twilight, I expect she shall remember when she was last awake. Then, I shall make use of our shared mindlink to inform you of Twilight Sparkle's whereabouts. You shall use your sun powers to wake her up, and when she does we shall arrest her kidnapper."
"That's marvelous news!"
"I do, however, have a slight problem." Luna continued. "According to Lulamoon's journals, she is aware of a dream within a dream. If she goes down a level, or up a level, this rescue will become complicated. I will need companions, at least two, to accompany on my quest in order to be safe."
"Ah'll go!" Celestia was pushed aside, and Big Mac filled the crystal ball. "Mah sister's down there! Ah ain't about tah sit by and do nothing!"
"Who is this?" Princess Luna asked.
"The Element of Honesty's elder brother. From what Twilight has told me, he is in some ways even more capable than his sister, physically. I would trust him on this mission, more even then one of our royal guards."
Princess Luna nodded. "If you believe he will help."
"I will send him over via Spike."
"You'll what!" Asked a young draconic voice, just out of view.
"And I will find another to accompany me. But there is more ill news sister. If you wake Twilight up magically, and she is not on the first level of dreaming, she will be sent to Limbo. If Lulamoon kills her before I make it to protect her, then she will be sent to Limbo. She will wholeheartedly believe Limbo is her reality, and the only way to wake her… and the other Elements… would be for her to die again. And I do not believe I could convince her that Limbo is a dream."
"You are saying…"
"That it is likely I would have to… end Twilight Sparkle's life. By force. Even if it is only a dream... it will hurt."
There was silence on both ends of the line.
Then, the forgotten Dr. Hope waved a piece of paper in front of the crystal ball. Both princesses read eagerly.
May I make a suggestion?
"Yes, of course Doctor." Celestia nodded.
He scribbled something down frantically,
I know somepony who you could bring into the dream with you. He is physically capable, and cunning. Somepony who understands the depths of pony psychology enough to probably navigate the subconscious, and probably already understands more about Trixie's mind then anypony else from meeting her once. He's utterly obsessed with victory, and won't give up once he's commited to a goal, especially if that goal is to save a patient with some miraculous new medical procedure. He's persuasive enough to convince Twilight she's in Limbo if she ends up there, and if necessary, he is willing to kill.
The princesses stared at each other in shock.
"You… want to have him rescue Twilight?" Luna asked. "No. That's out of the question."
"It is better to be safe than sorry sister." Celestia said. "And while Dr. Hope's optimism sometimes… usually… borders on delusional, I believe that this course of action is worth pursuing to rescue Twilight. Dr. Hope… have the guards summon Dr. Fleetrigan Pie. Bring him in full restraints."
Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality
-Aster & Richter Abend
Sweetie Belle took a deep breath. “Hush now, Quiet now!! It's time to lay sleepy head!! Said, Hush now, Quiet now!! It is time to go to bed!!”
She sang in front of the entire royal house of Canterlot. Princess Celestia was in tears, and she was right to be. She stood tall in front of them, on legs longer and more slender then Princess Unity’s, dressed in a Rarity original of sapphires, satin, and silk.
Everypony always commented on her singing. A lot of them outright told her to stop crusading because it was obvious singing was her special talent. They treated her like she was some ignorant foal or something. Well guess what? She tried that already!
She loved singing, and she wished singing was her special talent. But just because she was good at something didn’t make it the thing she was best at.
Still, here she was, in front of Princess Celestia, and right now nobody could tell her what her cutie mark should or shouldn’t be, because she knew what she would be when she got it;
She would be an artiste. Just like her sister.
She finished her solo, and took a bow as all of Canterlot applauded. They all loved her singing. Especially Celestia! She was crying! in fact... she was crying so hard that her tears had begun to flood the auditorium with water, and after a particularly enthusiastic clap from Applebloom's big brother, it turned into a wave of water advancing straight at her from the back of the auditorium.
“Oh no.” Sweetie moaned as the water engulfed her. “Rarity’s gonna have a fit…”
Sweetie Belle gasped and woke up, trying to shake off the shock of cold rainwater. She found herself in an unceremonious barrel with her ‘best friends’ smiling at her.
“All right! You’re awake!” Scootaloo cheered.
“And wet.” Sweetie pointed out.
“We had to wake you up somehow!” Applebloom was quick to explain. “We thought you were just faking, but when we tried to wake you up after Spike didn’t believe us, we figured out you had the ACTUAL mysterious sleeping disease!”
“Oh no!” Sweetie gasped. “I’ve caught the virus! What if I’m Patient Zero for some sort of sleepwalking zombie pony plague!?”
“Y’all have been spending too much time with Scootaloo.” Applebloom muttered.
“Nu-uh!” Scootaloo snorted. “Everypony knows that zombie ponies don’t sleepwalk. They sort of…” She mimicked the way a zombie pony would move, sort of shambling along, using her wings to steady herself on her hind hooves.
“But if Zombies don’t sleepwalk, how come ponies that go to sleep have Z’s?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“No!” Applebloom cut her off. “No maybes. Every time you say ‘maybe’ we end up covered in tree saps and no closer to... our… cutie mark. Sweetie Bell! Your cutie mark!”
“What?” Sweetie Belle looked at her flank. It was a blank as ever.
“No no!” Applebloom shook her head. “I mean when you looked up cutie marks in the library you said that unicorns often get a burst of magic relatin’ to their cutie marks! What if this was that burst of magic! What if this is some sort of fancy sleeping spell!?”
“You think so?” Sweetie Belle’s eyes grew wide and she stared adoringly at her flank.
“Do you know what this means!?” Scootaloo chirped excitedly. “Girls, we have to go to sleep! For Sweetie Belle!”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Applebloom held up her hooves. “Wait a second. Remember when our sisters told us to tell them before we do anything big?”
“Oh, come on.” Scootaloo scoffed. “We’re trying to get Cutie Marks in sleeping. What could go wrong?”
“No, no, Applebloom’s right.” Sweetie Belle emerged dripping from the barrel of rainwater. “This is too big. We need an adult to witness this momentous occasion, and go tell Pinkie to prepare a party while we’re passed out from the glory of running around in circles of never-ending joy.”
“But Rarity and Pinkie Pie both have the sleeping disease!” Scootaloo protested. “And so is Applejack and Rarity! And… and… adults are all useless!”
“We… could… get Spike?” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“He ain’t an adult.” Applebloom groused.
Scootaloo beamed. “Hey, if you want an adult… how about we go get Doctor Whooves?”
“Doctor who?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“He’s a time-travelling alien that looks like a pony, and he’s taking a galactic vacation right here in Ponyville!” Scootaloo beamed, proud of her idea. “I’ll bet he’s got loads of ideas on dreaming cutie marks!”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time around Question Mark.” Applebloom shook her head.
Shining Armor was distraught over the news of his sister. And even more distraught when he was told Dr. Pie was the one being brought in. To save her.
Thankfully, he’d be going in too. And he’d have Big Mac at his side.
He wanted Rainbow Dash’s brother, Soarin’, to be brought in too. But Soarin’ was serving Princess Celestia in the donkey lands down south, and wouldn’t be able to come back in time to help. So it would just be the four of them; two concerned older brothers, one Alicorn princess, and the most prolific serial murderer in all of Equestria.
The odds weren’t good.
He rolled Dr. Pie into the office in a state-of-the-art penitentiary class wheeled slab. He wore a muzzle, because as Shining Armor discovered his had a very strong mouth. He was strapped down as tight as the restraints could get without crushing the pony’s skeleton. And still Shining Armor was apprehensive.
Big Mac and Princess Luna were already in the room, preparing to cast the spell. A crystal orb shone in the middle, as Princess Celestia looked on. “Ah, Shining Armor, you’re here.”
Shining Armor bowed low, and grimaced when the voice at his side chimed in. “It’s good to see you too Princess.” Celestia looked with distaste at Dr. Pie. “Yes… I suppose so. Now, if my Sister will cast her spell…”
“Actually, I do have a condition of employment!” Dr. Pie piped up, glancing meaningfully at Shining Armor. Celestia frowned at him. “He wants to be released, doesn’t he?”
“No your majesty.” Shining Armor shook his head, wondering how to phrase what came next. “We both knew you wouldn’t allow it. He… wanted to ask you a question.”
The silence in the room was palpable. Dr. High Hopes scribbled BAD IDEA! on his notepad. Princess Luna and Big Mac shared a look. Shining Armor watched his princess’ face intently as she studied Dr. Pie, measuring him up, mentally rehearsing all of the ‘politically correct answers’ she gave to the press, and adjusting them to answers somepony like Dr. Pie would believe, considering all of the questions he could considerably ask…
Holy Celestia, she was considering it!
“Your majesty, I advise against it.” Shining Armor said hastily.
“And if Twilight got stuck in Limbo, you would be willing… able… to kill her?” Celestia asked.
“I promise, I won’t play with her first.” Dr. Pie spoke up. “You can ask my friend Hope, my word is my bond. If one of the elements get caught in Limbo, I will set the free quickly and painlessly. If the Princess answers my question.” He smiled. “I hope you don’t think me uncouth for this Princess. But as you can imagine, one does not get leverage on royalty many times in a lifetime, and it’s best to capitalize on the experience when it happens.”
Shining Armor was even more on edge, but at least he was reassured about Twilight. As Dr. Hope hastily scribbled, Pie’s word was his bond. He’d interacted with him enough times to know that. But just because he wouldn’t ‘play with’ Twily, didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt the Princess.
Celestia nodded. “Ask your question.” She said,
Dr. Pie seemed to relish the moment. Then he asked his question. “Tell me Princess; your student has been in danger before, has she not? You sent her to deal with Nightmare Moon, and then Discord. After dealing with two angry unleashed gods… why are you so terrified at the prospect of her facing an ordinary unicorn?”
Shining Armor knew that the blank poker face Celestia put on meant that the question had stunned her. He was fairly certain Luna and Pie knew it as well.
“Many have wondered about your connection with your prized student.” Dr. Pie smiled. “Not that I believe for a moment she’s secretly your daughter or lover. If you do see her those ways, you have a pretty poor way of showing it. You seem to trust her with your kingdom, but closer inspection reveals that you’ve used and manipulated her at every turn, weaving a web of lies. I’ve talked to my niece Pinkie. I can almost understand not telling her the fate of the world depended on her friendship the night Nightmare returned. She may have started immediately holding auditions for friendship, ensuring the Elements went to those with the passing grades. But why would she be afraid to tell you the fate of your pet? Why would she panic at the thought of reporting to you late? Why does she fear you? And why, why now, do you fear for her life when she has toppled gods?”
Shining Armor stood stoically, even though he was reeling inside. He’d often asked himself the same question, but he wasn’t about to let Celestia give an answer if it meant giving in to this madstallion. “Your majesty…”
“Oh hush Captain.” Celestia stood regally and stared down Dr. Pie. “That was four questions, but I’ll answer your original one. When Twilight first became my apprentice, she had difficulty controlling her magic. Once or twice, there were accidents that left her or somepony else grievously injured. She managed to control herself with more ease when I promised her I would always be there for her. And I always have been. When I couldn’t be there to help her defeat my sister, I allowed the Elements to be passed on to protect her. When Discrod trapped me, I sent her letters. I will go to Tatarus for her, as she has done once for me. And now, when somepony like you is threatening her, I will send only the best to be with her.”
“I’m flattered.” Dr. Pie nodded gratefully.
“You are not one of my best.” Princess Celestia came as close to snarling as a princess could. “If all goes according to the plan, you will not even see her, and if you become force to… use your skills, she will not see you and it will be quick and painless, are we clear?”
Dr. Pie nodded his head politely. “Of course your majesty. Do try to understand, I really am a good pony, provided I’m not hunting you, and I mean neither of you any harm. In fact, if I may… perhaps the reason she’s so scared of you is because you’re constantly smothering her so. I realize the element of Loyalty takes her vows seriously, but perhaps if you were to let her deal with the next threat to Equestria by herself, and let her know you trust her instead of just sending her in danger’s direction and planning things so she would come ahead without telling her, your relationship could be much improved –”
Celestia stared at Dr. Pie, as shining Armor quickly engaged the mask’s muffler. Even Armor had to admit it was good advice, but there was no way he was letting him get any foothold on the princess. “Your majesty, don’t listen to a word he says. Let’s just do this, and quickly.”
Princess Celestia closed her mouth, and nodded. She gave Luna the okay, and the other Princess began to weave her spell, her horn glowing a soft blue…
Shining Armor crawled out of the surf of a vast sandy beach. The waves crashed behind them, and an endless wall of fog stretched in front of them.
“Limbo.” Princess Celestia declared, wringing out her mane. “Mind yourselves. We are going up.” She looked around. “… Pie! Doctor Pie!”
“I’m here.” The Doctor said. He emerged from the fog. On his hat was a fedora, and he wore a tattered red and green sweater. On one of his hooves, an imitation of a dragon’s claws rested; the five precisely sharpened claws ‘clacking’ on the ground as he trotted around.
“And I’ll be here for years while you sort things out.” He laughed a throaty laugh, embracing his freedom.
“What’s with the clothes?” Big Mac asked.
“Those are what he wears when he hunts.” Shining Armor explained, feeling sick.
“’Hunt’ is not exactly the right word for what I do.” Dr. Pie said. Somewhere in the fog, a mare screamed. “But I do intend to keep myself busy between solving your problems.” Dr. Pie retreated, the flash of pearly white teeth the last thing that the trio saw as he disappeared into the mist. “Ta!”
Shining Armor shivered.
Princess Luna rested a comforting wing on him. “Mind yourself.” She repeated. “We’re going up.”
Alone in the Library, Spike kept up monitoring his friends. He’d brought up every single thing from Twilight’s lab that looked fancy and could be hooked up to a pony, especially the ones with the blinking lights and the electrodes.
He’d just finished hooking up Pinkie Pie to the device Twilight tried to use to measure her Pinkie Sense, when the doors slammed open again.
“Spike!” Scootaloo rushed in on her scooter, dragging the other Crusaders and an unconscious stallion on the wagon behind her.
“Girls!” Spike began to scold them. “I told you, Twilight and Rarity are in serious trouble right now and I… who is that and why is he unconscious?”
The stallion was an average brown, with an hourglass cutie mark, hair sticking up in all directions. Applebloom nudged him a bit. “Yeah… we were trying to find an adult, and there was this thing with apples, and a tree fell on him, somepony said he had a ‘kong cushion’ and we couldn’t take him to the hospital ‘cause the tree fell on that too… so we brought him here! Now quickly, Sweetie Belle’s gonna earn her Cutie Mark by saving Twilight an’ the others.”
“What.” Before Spike could even begin to formulate an answer, Sweetie Belle’s horn began to glow the familiar blue of a familiar spell.
The Crusaders stood eagerly at the door when it opened. “Spike!” Sweetie Belle clapped. “It worked! The spell worked! And… you’re not Spike.”
The colt who stood at the door was about their age. He was purple, and his mane was curly and two shades of green much like Sweetie Belle. His horn poked out over the long mane that he had to blow out of his eyes. His cutie mark was that of a book and quill with color coded tabs poking out of the pages.
“What do you mean?” He asked. “Of course I’m Spike.”
“Well that’s great.” The brown coated stallion staggered up to him. “I have one more question then… just one. Who am I?”
He’d heard the rumors. He knew everypony thought he was some jelly obsessed freak. But WHEN THE CONSPIRACY CAME TO LIGHT THEY WOULD THANK HIM!!!
There were fives types of Jelly in this world; Strawberry, Rasberry, Peach, Apricot, and CELESTIA’S PERSONAL CONSPIRACY JELLY!!! IT TASTES LIKE PONIES AND LIES!!!
But now he was in the subconscious mind of the enemy! The one pony devastating enough to claim the royalty’s attention! CELESTIA’S SECRETE WEAPON!!! IF SHE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE CUPBOARDS THEN WHO WOULD!!!??? WHO WOULD!!!???
And if there was no conspiray… then… what was the point? Why had he been hiding in jelly all these years to prevent his mind from being scanned? Why had he been moving town every few years? Why had he spent seven months learning the ancient art of Shippoku (learning to see the connections between ponies, often used to sense romantic connections, but he used it to see the conspiracy. A pity Sensei declared him ‘delusional’ and kicked him out of the monastery)? Why had he ever done anything?
Why? Was he really just seeing things to explain why nopony seemed to like him? Why? Was he really just latching onto any theory that would help him push other ponies away? Why? Was he…
The moment of introspection was ruined when Trixie ran into him.
“Mark!” She pulled him along. “This way!”
“It was only then that Mark realized that there was a high-pitched battle going on behind him.
“What’s happening?” Mark asked.
“We’ve been betrayed!” Trixie explained, out of breath. “One of us told them we were coming! They were prepared!”
Of course. OF COURSE!!! “They knew we were coming!” Question Mark exclaimed. “That’s why Twilight didn’t know about the Conspiracy! She was just pretending!”
Trixie looked away. “Um… right.”
"But this means…” Question Mark rounded on her. “Who is the traitor?”
“Uhhhh… I don’t know!” Trixie confessed. “I’m trusting you with this because you obviously have the best investigative skills of our villainous dynamic.”
Question Mark nodded. “Alright. You can count on me Trixie, I’ll weed out the traitors in our midst.”
“I only said there was one…” Trixie thought a bit. “… Good thinking Mark. I’d better teleport back before they get suspicious.”
And in a blinding flash she was gone. And Question Mark was filled with a new sense of purpose. The conspiracy did exist! He wasn’t crazy! He was betrayed… betrayed by one of his new allies. Well. His resolve would not weaken like that. He would stay loyal to the cause! If it was the last thing he did, HE WOULD EXPOSE THE CONSPIRACY TO ALL OF EQUESTRIA!!!”
