> Second Chances > by The 8-Bit Flame Princess > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Who could deny these butterflies? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cheerilee woke as she always did, feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. She stared at the clock, and her small smile fell as she realized that it was half past eight - frankly, too early for a Sunday morning. Sunday morning. That triggered something inside her brain, a memory, or something she was supposed to remember. As a teacher she had an exceptionally good memory- made useful with the hundreds of names she had to remember. She dug around in her mind now, trying to put her hoof on what she was missing. With a disgruntled groan, she finally remembered why this day out of all the other ones was so important. It was Hearts and Hooves Day, the celebration of love between two ponies, and most likely Cheerilee's least favorite holiday. She'd never been a fan of it to begin with. When she was in school, she'd always preferred to read new books and hang out with her friends than moon over colts- they were never really her thing anyway. It never bothered her that she got no cards or flowers. Even when she got older, gained her Cutie Mark and started being invited to parties, she never bothered to dance with anyone. Love just wasn't a big deal for her- friendship and her teaching career were much more important. And after the trauma of last year she really didn't think her feelings on the holiday would ever change. Besides, everypony knew that Hearts and Hooves Day had just become an easy scheme to make money quickly and cheaply. Cheerilee sighed and rolled over, hoping to maybe get a few more minutes of sleep. Unfortunately, her brain was already too active, and after several minutes of tossing and turning she finally got out of bed. She went into the bathroom that was joined into the bedroom and checked out her appearance in the mirror. Her two-toned mane was disheveled from sleep and she sighed as she grabbed her brush, ready to face the day. It was going to be a long one, certainly. The day had slowly evolved from a frosty Spring morning to a pleasant day with mild weather. Cheerilee trotted down the streets of Ponyville doing her daily shopping, picking up essential items and enjoying the time outside. Everywhere she looked she saw couples enjoying themselves, eating together, walking, nuzzling, doing all the things that couples did. She felt a sudden pang in her chest, and wondered what it could be. Could it be jealousy? That was ridiculous. She'd never had a desire to find anypony before, and it wasn't like she needed to be with somepony to be happy. She was perfectly content being on her own ... Or was she? Doubts rushed through her mind and she took a deep breath in to calm herself down, exhaling with a new-found serenity. It was perfectly logical to feel this way. She was getting older (and she hated it) and at twenty-six now most of the ponies she knew had pretty much figured out who they wanted to spend their lives with. It was only natural that she'd be a bit worried. It just got a little bit lonely marking papers in her house all alone. Lost in her thoughts, she had not been looking where she was going and suddenly she crashed into something firm. Looking up in a dazed state she discovered to her embarrassment that she'd bumped into the one pony she'd been trying to avoid all day: Big Macintosh. Blushing, she stumbled to regain her dropped objects, hoping nothing was broken. After the disaster of last Hearts and Hooves Day he was the last pony she had been wanting to see. "So sorry, Big Mac. I should have been looking where I was going," she said. "Eeyup," he said with a smile, "but it's alright, Miss Cheerilee. I'll be on my way now, but have a nice day." "You too," she replied. They had known each other since their schooldays and though their friendship had wavered after the awkwardness of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' fleeting interest in matchmaking, it still grew strong. However, Cheerilee just couldn't deal with the memories today. Gathering all her objects back into her saddlebags, she continued on with her shopping, stopping only to haze at the plethora of flowers gathered on a light gold wooden cart. Flora of all different kinds and in all different shades: brilliant red, soft green, deep purple ... It was beautiful. The majority of the flowers, however, were roses. Magnificent roses, in red and white and yellow and orange and even blue, seemingly glowing. These roses were truly perfection. Of course, it was all for this stupid holiday, Cheerilee mused. However, these flowers were cared for, they had been tended for by somepony who wanted their art to be appreciated for what it was. There was only one pony that could grow flowers as radiant as this, and Cheerilee knew now she had to leave - leave before words were exchanged and the atmosphere went from mildly chilly with a touch of sunshine to below zero. She stepped away from the cart, gazing wistfully at it once more, remembering schoolyard days and a flash of red, before shaking her head to snap out of it. The past was in the past, and it stayed there for a reason. She wasn't ready to travel down that rose-lined road again. "Ch-Cheerilee?" a shocked voice says. Cheerilee stopped dead in her tracks. The past was seemingly ready for her now. She turned around to see a mare peeking out from the massive gathering of roses. Roseluck stared at Cheerilee as if she was a mystical creature that had descended from the sky. It was a mixture of shock, amazement and disbelief that Cheerilee would come anywhere near her. Cheerilee swallowed nervously, turning around to face somepony she hadn't seen in many years. "Hello," she said, trying to look everywhere but Roseluck. They had used to be such good friends, ever since their first days of school. They seemed to share common interests in most everything, but the one real thing that had brought them together was the fact that they both strove to do the best in their work, whether it be helping others or growing flowers. Oh, where had the time gone? Roseluck gave a small smile, stepping out into the sunlight, the weak rays of light casting a gold light onto her fur. Despite all that had happened, it seemed like she really was glad to see Cheerilee. "It's been a while," Cheerilee said awkwardly, all of her social etiquette thrown out the window. She had been so close to this mare once, but now it felt like there was a glass wall between them- they were seeing each other but there was no touch, no connection. It was like they were strangers meeting for the first time. "It has," Roseluck was still smiling. Ever the optimist, Cheerilee mused. "Have you ... Have you been well?" Cheerilee asked. Roseluck chuckled, staring at her old friend. Cheerilee couldn't tell was Roseluck was thinking- the mare had always been good at keeping her emotions hidden. Remembering the last day they'd spoken, Cheerilee knew that this was never a good thing. "Cheerilee, you don't need to be so formal. We're friends- or we were, once," a shadow of doubt crossed Roseluck's face. She stared into the sky sadly, watching the pegasi move clouds about. Cheerilee studied Roseluck's face, seeing how it had changed in the years they'd been apart. There was something new there, a weariness in her face and a look of something in her eyes- could it be loneliness? "I missed you," she blurted out suddenly. Roseluck's head snapped back to face her; Cheerilee was sure it should have given her whiplash. Her old friend's expression was curious. She looked almost angry. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but shut it decisively. She turned her head away, gritting her teeth. Cheerilee knew this expression. Roseluck was holding in tears. She wanted to comfort her, but the glass wall was still there. There was something massive between them, the monster in the room that nopony was pointing out. "I miss you too," Roseluck whispered, regaining her composure with a bright smile on her face. "So, do you need any flowers? I'm sure you have a special somepony that will appreciate them," Roseluck chatted brightly, but Cheerilee knew she was still affected by everything. Cheerilee shook her head, saying, "No, no special somepony for me. You know I've never been into romance. My friends were always more important." She hesitated. "You were always more important." "Cheerilee-" Roseluck sighed, but Cheerilee interrupted her. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this," she mumbled, stepping backwards, "maybe we shouldn't be talking again. Some things are better left buried underground." "And some things need to see the sunlight again," Roseluck argued, "so let's do something." Cheerilee didn't respond. Something told her that this was a very bad idea but she hadn't been lying when she said that she missed Roseluck. All the loneliness that she'd been feeling had been accumulating right from the very moment she'd ... No. Don't think about it. Don't think about it and it won't hurt. "Roseluck, I know what you want, and it's not going to work. I'm sorry," Cheerilee said. "Never mind what I want. This isn't about what happened on the last day of school. This is about today, and today I want to show you a good time, because you're obviously in need of it. Take a break, Cheerilee, and let's start again," Roseluck smiled charmingly. For what it was worth, she had always been amazingly convincing. Cheerilee allowed a small smile to light up her face. This, this was what she had been missing. The easy banter of friendship, allowing cracks in the glass wall to expand, slowly bringing back their friendship. "Do you really think we can regain six years in ten hours?" Cheerilee asked, slowly taking a few steps towards Roseluck. The flower pony hooked up her cart to her harness and grinned, just glad to have her friend back. "It's highly improbable. But the best thing to do, always, is to try." After depositing her cart at home and cleaning up, Roseluck led Cheerilee down a back road, the tall buildings shading the sun from them. Roseluck's mane was the colour of blood in this light, Cheerilee noticed. She tried her very best not to stare, but after so long away from each other it was hard to believe that they were actually here. There was no talking between them, but Cheerilee no longer found the silence intimidating. Sometimes it was better to say nothing at all. Roseluck turned the corner and they were back in the sunlight and standing in front of a quaint restaurant that Cheerilee had never been to before. "How do you find places like this?" Cheerilee had been living here her entire life, but she'd never even been down this street before. "An old acquaintance of mine showed it to me. We don't talk now but I have good memories of this place. The food isn't half bad either," Roseluck pushed open the door, leading them into a restaurant with very few windows, letting in a small amount of light and giving it a homey atmosphere. A fire crackled merrily and Cheerilee loved the contrast of the warmth inside and the cold outside. They were greeted and led to a table made of dark black wood. Cheerilee noticed that the waiters seemed to refer to Roseluck by name and greet her as if greeting an old family friend. "Do you come here often?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. Roseluck smirked. "Do you get your pick-up lines from Prince Blueblood?" Cheerilee chuckled. "Actually, I frequent it a lot. Not many ponies seem to know about it, yet it's almost always full. Strange," Roseluck commented, as the waiter came by to take the orders. After this a few minutes of silence occurred. Cheerilee wasn't sure what to say- should she ask Roseluck how she'd been or would that seem too obtrusive? Or would it seem rude if she didn't ask? Or maybe I should top being a dithering idiot, Cheerilee thought to herself. "You're staring," Roseluck commented. She didn't seem fazed by it, and regarded Cheerilee again with her unreadable stare, her eyes burning into her mind. "Do you still have your yearbook?" Cheerilee blurted out suddenly. Roseluck blinked. "Of course, " she murmured, "I kept everything from school. Even the things that hurt." Cheerilee flinched. "I'm so sorry," she said, "I'm sorry I didn't sign it. I was really stupid." she chuckled awkwardly, trying to keep a level head and say the right thing. She didn't want Roseluck to cry again. She hated it when other ponies cried. "You don't have to try and say the right thing," Roseluck observed, and Cheerilee cursed Roseluck's capability of reading her mind. "For me, everything you say is the right thing." "Roseluck-" "I think now it's my turn to say that I'm sorry, since you've been saying nothing but that today. I need to say it too, because it's been torturing me for years. I mean it. I'm so sorry that I put you in a position you weren't comfortable with," Roseluck said intently. "You don't have to be so formal," Cheerilee mumbled, feeling wave after wave of guilt wash over her, all the feelings she'd been keeping in over the years spilling out of her. She remembered that day so well. It had just been repressed all this time- the day on their last day of school, where Roseluck had finally told Cheerilee how she felt- and what had she done? She ran. Ran away and never acknowledged it again, letting their friendship go and hiding away. Because she had been scared, and she still was scared in a way. Scared of commitment, maybe? "I'm not going to cover things up, Cheerilee. It happened. It's over now. Let's just have a good time, okay?" Roseluck smiled genuinely at her, and Cheerilee smiled back. "So, do you get out much?" Roseluck grinned. Cheerilee laughed, feeling like, bit by bit, the load was coming off her chest. They exited the restaurant, and Cheerilee felt satisfied by some of the best food she'd ever eaten. Or maybe it just tasted that good because Roseluck led her there. The sun had started setting ever so slightly, and the brilliant blue of the sky was deepening to a cornflower colour edged with spots of amber as the world around them dimmed and night entered. The stars were ever so faint, but still there, if you knew where to look. "Where now?" Cheerilee asked. In the restaurant they had talked, catching up on what the other had missed in their lives since they'd been away from each other, and slowly finding the rhythm of their friendship again. "Well, now that I've taken my date out to lunch, we're going for a walk," Roseluck joked, staring up at the sky. "Do you remember when we used to stargaze?" "Of course, every Sunday. You'd take me up to Dandelion Hill and we'd lie there for hours until we froze, staring up at the sky. But isn't it a little early for stargazing? And I thought that land was private now anyway," Cheerilee said. She had fond memories of those Sundays, where the day was reserved for homework and family outings, but the evenings were for them and the sky, with no distance between the at all, and the silence was enough to keep them gazing. "I feel like we've come to a good place today," Roseluck simply said, staring into the distance. Cheerilee sighed. Her friend was so hard to get a read on. But Cheerilee loved to try. "The sun does set so easily on these Winter evenings," she commented, and then strode off, Cheerilee following after her, realizing that they were going down the route towards Dandelion Hill. Not much had changed since they were young, though there was a lot more litter around, sadly. The youths of today had no respect for the environment. Now you just sound old, she mocked herself as she followed behind Roseluck on well-travelled grass. "Those first few months out of school I used to still come up here every Sunday. It's not the same alone though," Roseluck mused, slowing down as the path grew into a bit of an uphill climb. "You don't have to be alone now," Cheerilee whispered into the night that had fallen fast as they were walking. Roseluck made no indication that she'd heard, but Cheerilee knew somehow that she had. There was now a fence surround their favourite spot, but Roseluck led them deftly around it until they reached a pony-sized hole. "That's vandalism," Cheerilee pointed out. Roseluck only smiled. They squeezed through the hole and then they where there, on the wide open space that was Dandelion Hill. The stars were properly out now, shining brightly above them like tiny gemstones embedded on the black canvas that was the sky. The moon seemed closer than ever. Luna had certainly made a beautiful masterpiece tonight. "Since we're now a bit older, I think I have something that will please us that isn't child-friendly." Roseluck smiled, pulling a bottle of wine out from a bush and unscrewing the cap. She took a small sip and offered the bottle to Cheerilee. "Do you want a drink?" Cheerilee nodded and took the bottle. She didn't drink often, only on special occasions- but she guessed that a celebration of friendship merited a little bit of excitement. The wine was bitter and Cheerilee fought the urge to spit it out. It spiraled up into her throat again but she swallowed it and it actually tasted nice. If it didn't taste cheap it might have tasted like strawberries. Roseluck lay down on the grass and Cheerilee sat beside her, feeling the wind gently toss her mane about. It was a wonderful evening. They passed the bottle between them quickly, taking sips and enjoying the night. Cheerilee could feel it in her stomach already; it settled quickly, like a comfortable warm weight. She felt a slight buzz, and judging by the way that Roseluck smiled at nothing, her companion did too. Roseluck sighed, "Some days just seem like the world was made specifically for you to enjoy. And then there are some days where you feel that the world is just out to get you. I don't think there's a middle distance, which is quite sad." "You were always a philosophical drunk." "And you always carried me home," Roseluck reminisced, "even when I was staggering five steps behind you. You always waited for me to catch up." "I never want to leave you behind," Cheerilee said quietly. Roseluck rolled over onto her side and stared up at Cheerilee, her drunken gaze now taking a backseat for that damn look and Cheerilee got the overwhelming sense that Roseluck was perfect. In the darkness together, she smelt like roses, and you couldn't see any details but the shadowy shape of her and the shine of her eyes, big and green and looking at her with such love, that old feelings couldn't help but resurface. Feelings from when she didn't want a relationship because her friendship with Roseluck was all she needed. But, looking back, could it have been more than friendship? The bond they shared, the unbreakable connection that was still alive today- could all that have been a sign that she'd missed the opportunity for something wonderful? "Roseluck," she began to say, "I ran away because I was scared- I can't even remember what I was thinking. I wasn't ready to face what you could see that I couldn't," she licked her lips. Her friend pushed herself up so their faces were close together. "Do you see it now?" Roseluck breathed. "I'll see it always," she said, bringing their foreheads together. Roseluck smiled, and inched closer, before pulling back with a cautious frown on her face. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you regretting something later," she said. Cheerilee could tell by the scared look in Roseluck's eyes that it wasn't just this that was the problem- she was scared of getting her heart broken again. Cheerilee made a decision then to never hurt Roseluck ever again. She didn't think she could take those eyes staring at her like that knowing she was the one who'd made them look that way. "I started over, took a break and I had a good time. A great time. Sometimes in life you need to stop worrying about burying things underground and start taking a walk in the sun," Cheerilee said, smiling. "Well, practice what you preach and all," Roseluck said while chuckling, and she pressed her lips to Cheerilee's tenderly. Cheerilee was aware that she probably tasted like cheap alcohol, and that Roseluck probably tasted like cheap alcohol, but she didn't notice and so she didn't care, and it was the best kiss she'd had in a long while- most likely because it was Roseluck. They drew apart and smiled at each other, Roseluck snuggling into Cheerilee's side and yawning. It had been a long day. There were things to discuss and arrangements to make, but for now they were content to sleepily watch the stars in the sky and feel the warmth of each others's body. Cheerilee's last thoughts before falling asleep were that it was, overall, extremely better than last Hearts and Hooves Day. Maybe this holiday wasn't as bad as she thought it was. Or maybe it was just Roseluck.