> Memories of the Forgotten > by NonDescript > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- You tried to control me... You tried to bend me to your will... All I wanted was control.... All I wanted was freedom... It all happened so fast... By the time I could slow down and breath... It was far too late... So now, all I want... Is for Equestria to remember... Rain, oh how I missed you. It's interesting really. If it wasn't for the things that have lead me here today, I probably would have continued to take a lot of things for granted. Controllable weather being just one of the many. I always tried to remain humble, always make the most of things, and never put myself above others. You may think you don't take things for granted, but you can only truly realize what you have, until it's all gone. I trotted out from my makeshift home, and let the coolness wrap around me, like a blanket. A really cold blanket. A cold wet blanket. You know what, I'm in the rain, who cares about blankets comparisons. I used to hate the rain, you know? How it was always dark, gloomy, and forcing you to stay in doors, hiding away the sun, that would signal the life that the day breathes. Now however, it's a sign of hope, that I can truly survive out here. This barren wasteland, that surrounds me on all sides. Constant unbearable heat, and no food, beyond the occasional dead shrub. Water? Few and far between. There's a reason I was sent here. It just screams inhospitable. Where is here, exactly? I honestly have no clue. I could be all the way on the other side of the planet, for all I know. I could be anywhere, except for there. Celestia dammit, there's no way I'm going to survive, there's no way I'm going to ever be back home. I'm never going to see my friends ever again. I'm never going to see Ponyville ever again. I'm never going to see my fam- No, you got to keep it together... Using all my strength to calm myself down, and cursing myself for using her name again, I continue to take in the rain, as it likely won't last long. It's relaxing, you know? Being able to just stand there, let my coat soak in the much needed dampness, and just forget everything.... "My most faithful student, I apologize for taking you away from your friends, but I have a test for you, of utmost importance." Celestia spoke, with a presence, that truly was a sight to behold. She stood, with such regality and confidence, that it was hard to remember, that she's just a regular pony inside. Of course, I knew first hand what she was like, having been practically raised by her. All those times I had seen her, she always held a smile, that spoke of pride, and love. It became my life goal to make sure I could always see that smile. As such, I did what any sensible pony would do. I followed blindly. "What is it Princess? Do you need me to lock Discord in stone again? I knew he might cause some trouble. Or do you need me to read some books? Are you wanting to test me on my magic skills? I've been trying to practice, and I've just been so busy lately, what with all my friends lately, the whole Discord reformation thing, and a whole lot of different things, and I just haven't been able to find the time, to keep as up to date as I usually do, and I'm so sorry Princess, I know I should be better, I should be trying harder, I'm so sorry, I-" I was stopped by the Princess putting a hoof over my mouth, with an amused grin. "Twilight, you of all ponies should know that your friends are more important than any magic assignment, or test I could ever give you. But what I am about to ask of you will most certainly be close." My cheeks flushed pink at my outburst, but I continued the conversation. "What is it, Princess? What do you need me to do?" "I'm sorry, but it is of utmost importance that you'll do what I ask of on your own." She turned away, smiling, an eerily sadistic grin. "I know you are ready for this, and I assure you, everything is going to be, just fine" I shook myself from the memory, dizzy from the unexpected flashback. How long had I been standing here? The rain had long since stopped, but my coat was still slightly damp. Squinting around the now dark landscape, I easily found the light from my current living area. Well, that would be a bit generous. More like a hole in the ground. My track of time had been completely thrown out when I arrived here. I tend to lose myself in the passing of the days, not quite aware of everything around me. I quickly made my way over to my little safe haven. I don't want to try my luck with whatever might be out there. I prefer to stay alive, thank you. No book has ever documented anything about these kinds of places. Why would they need to? No one in their right mind would come out here, yet alone write a book on it. Oh how I miss my books. Not like that's my priority. Staying alive is by far much better, than the alternative. But I wish I could just lie down, and read one of my many books, just like the old days... I exited from the throne room, to see Spike waiting eagerly. "That was quick! What was that about?" I quickly levitated him on to my back. "Come. Spike! The Princess has given me a new test!" He sighed. "Are we going to have to sing again?" Spike said, with exaggerated distaste. I giggled at that. "No Spike, we're not going to sing this time." "Well, whatever it is, I'm starving, can it wait for after lunch?" "Spike! This is a test, directly from the Princess! We need to get started immediately!" I explained, definitively. "Ughh, fine, whatever." Spike responded in resignation. I, uh, what? I shook myself from my stupor, as I woke up. The night still held strong, but I was dreading what would come if I were to fall asleep again. I didn't want things to return. I just wanted everything to end. "Twilight..." I turned my head around, facing behind me, as I heard the ghostly voice. My face grew pale, as my heart rate increased. I was on the edge of my hooves, listening out for more voices. "How could you, Twilight!? My head twist involuntarily towards the sound. Was I finally losing it? Had I finally managed to break, after everything? "This isn't the Twilight I thought I knew! No... "Please, stop this!" No... please... The screams surrounded me on all sides, I could feel the sheer hatred and emotion, swarming around my head, pushing and pulling at my mind. I collapsed under my own weight, unable to support myself, with the struggle my brain went through. "Twilight Sparkle, you have failed me!" It wasn't my fault... "You shall answer for your crimes!" And like that, I was out like a light again. I looked around at my surroundings. Ponies, as far as the eye could see, all piled up to witness, what would potentially be put down in history. I remember when I stood on these exact stairs, next to my big brother, watching him as he married the love of his life. Invasion and all, those were much better times. Now, I stood looking at a face that held no emotion, except unadulterated fury. Princess Celestia towered over me. But I didn't fall under her gaze, as I held strong. "Twilight Sparkle, former student at the School for Gifted Unicorns, my personal protege, and Element of Magic. The court has found you guilty of all crimes." Celestia said, with no remorse in her appearance. "You have been sentenced to exile from Equestria. Starting from tomorrow, you will not be allowed in Equestria's borders, as per a special magic spell." Exile? That doesn't seem to bad, considering the alternatives. "As well," Oh no... "any and all records of your existence shall be erased. It will be as though you never existed, Twilight Sparkle". They couldn't do that, could they? Lots of people knew me, it's not like they can just up and forget me. I resisted the urge to scream in her face at the ridiculousness of all this. "Please, make the most out of your little time left here. By morning, you will be escorted out of Equestria's borders, to the badlands, where you will be released". No. You can't just get rid of me! Have I been nothing to you this whole time? Do you even have, one little bit of a soul left in you, you heartless monster! The full force of everything hit me. My friends, my family, everyone I'd ever known. They're just going to forget about me. No one will ever even know I existed. I wanted to be put in history books. I wanted to be able to invent new spells, to become famous on my own accord, and to show the world who I am. Twilight Sparkle. And now? I'll never even get the chance. I fell on the ground. The crowd slowly made their way out of the hall, as I wept uncontrollably. Not one pony took any notice of me. It was all over. Morning. Why did everything have to come to this? Why couldn't I have just had life easy? I didn't want any of this to happen. No one in their right mind could ever wish this on their self. The sun. Did I ever say how I got my cutie mark? I first got my inspiration for learning magic, from watching Celestia raise the sun. I used to adore that she could do that. The magic, the raw power I experienced. I was filled with awe. As such, whenever I could see the sun, I always knew I would be safe, and that I could be something, as I grew in my own magic. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the night. The night has it's own peace and tranquility, that the day could never capture. The heat. It is really hot here. Then again, this is called the Bad Lands for a reason. I might just die from the extreme heat, yet alone starvation or thirst. So thirsty. I need to find water, and water soon. As soon as I could get that, I could continue, and I could survive. But first I would need to get up. Raising up from my small hidey hole, I peeked out along the horizon, looking for anything noteworthy. Today would be a long day. > Chapter 2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight's Exile Journal - Entry #1 My name is Twilight Sparkle. Daughter to Twilight Velvet and Night Light. Brother to Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor. Sister-in-law to the Princess of Love, and Princess of the Crystal Empire, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Adopted sister to Spike the Dragon. Bearer to the Element of Magic. Caretaker to Golden Oaks Library. Student to Princess Celes Sorry. With everything going on, I just needed to put all that down. Remind myself that at the very least, there's somepony that remembers me. Even if that one pony is me. I'm sorry, I'm not particularly good at this. The one thing I was given before my exile was this journal, and I figured I could at least try to get my thoughts together. Try and figure out the extent of my situation before it really sinks in, because by then it will probably be too late. Regardless. This is something that can distract me for at least a little while. You don't mind, do you? ....I'm talking to a book as if it can actually understand me. I'm losing it already. I've only been out here a few days, and with all this heat, the lack of food or water, and no one being around to talk to, and the lack of any landmarks or distinguishing features, and none of my friends- Okay. I'm together again. I am fine. I am calm. As I was saying, I've only been out here a few days, but things have already seemed to get to me. Nothing has really hit me truly hard yet, but I can't help but keep remembering what led me to being here, and try to make sense of all of this. But I guess the best thing I could be doing now, is try and do something productive. Like making my way to some water, or better yet, some proper shelter. From there, I can attempt to better my mental state, and find my way back to Equestria. .....If I can ever go back that is. I scanned the horizon for any indication as to which direction I should take. I knew that Equestria was further to the north, but that wouldn't help me unless I had something to keep me going. Nothing seemed to indicate signs of life, or any natural features different to my existing surroundings. I'm not surprised I can't see any signs of life. It's been at least a century since exile has been used as a punishment. Ponies started to view it as a cruel punishment to give, even for some of the more heinous crimes, and as such, it's use had managed to phase out over time. Although, there were also significant decreases in the number of crimes worthy of exile over the years, so if you consider that... Focus. Focus Twilight. You're not out of this yet. Just need to pick a direction. Any direction. I oriented myself, facing away from the sun, and marched myself forward, praying to whatever deity is out there, that there would at least be something before nightfall. "What is the test, Princess?" Twilight said, more than just a little worried. However, whatever worries she had right then were nothing compared to her willingness to please the Princess. "My faithful student, what I'm about to give you will be a challenge unlike any other." Celestia spoke to Twilight, her usual calm demeanor having taken on a slightly more serious expression. "It has been studied by few, and fewer have close to understanding the full extent of it's many intricacies." "Twilight Sparkle, I want you to study Chaos Magic." Come on... Just a little more... A little more to the left... Almost there... Ahhhh.... Much better.... Whatever deity there is must have found some favor with me, because the single lone cloud in the sky has managed to block the sun from reaching my already scorching fur. Oh! And there's a little cliff-face right up ahead! Which means, at the very least, I'll have some kind of cover that's better than a hole in the ground. ...Frankly, I'm perfectly fine with how low my standards for things to be excited about are right now. It just means I'm content with the little things that I'm (hopefully) going to be receiving during my times out here. It means that I can have something that gives me the boost to get up in the morning, and continue my little adventure. Something that allows me to- -Oh, I'm at the cliff-face already. Well, I can either rest against the side of the cliff, leaving myself open on one side as opposed too all.... ....Or I can brave the really dark cave I just noticed not too far from here. .... I don't think I'll try my luck. I don't exactly have much of it on my side, beyond the movement of a couple clouds. I edged myself into a small indent in the wall, and lowered my head to rest it. Sun had yet to set, and I still hadn't managed to find a proper source of water. Unless it rains again (and knowing my luck, it won't), I'll be completely bone-dry by the end of tomorrow. I'm starting to run out of options. "C-chaos magic, Princess?" "Yes my dear Twilight, and I have my utmost confidence in you." "B-but, what am I supposed to do?! I don't know the first thing about chaos magic Princess!" "That's not at all a surprise. Very few ponies do." Celestia turned away from Twilight, looking slightly downcast. "However, if we were to completely understand the secrets behind chaos, who knows the sort of things that could be prevented. The villains whose powers would be rendered useless. The darkness the world could be rid of!" She turned to look Twilight straight in the eye. Determination flowing through her, finding it's way into Twilight as well. "While many have tried before and failed, I know that you can figure out what other ponies could not." If only she could have been wrong. Twilight's Exile Journal - Entry #2 You know what the worst thing about this whole situation is? Before, if life wasn't particularly good to me, I could always be sure that in my dreams things would be better. That sleep would bring me a comfort that the day could not. Unfortunately, not so anymore. Forgetting that Luna will obviously want nothing to do with me, so even that route for conversation is shut down. No, because she believes that what happened was actually my fault, she won't even look twice if she thought I might be having a nightmare. Just the idea that even in my dreams, not only am I not safe, but that there's nothing that can be done? It's more demoralizing than anything. To know I have no sanctuary from the harsh reality. Nothing to delude myself into a false sense of security. It's harsh reality through and through. I'm scared, okay? I'm scared of my own mind. I'm scared that it will make me relive that one moment over and over. The moment that I could never turn back, even if I wanted. My own mind scares me. I'm just so scared.... I had made my way to the Royal Archives with Spike, to see what they had on chaos magic. Spike had fallen asleep hours ago, but I wasn't gonna stop for sleep quite yet. I'd just gotten to the good bit. Ooooh, this book was just so fascinating! I couldn't put it down, as it went on about many things I hadn't even thought of when it came to magic! Why didn't I attempt to study chaos magic sooner? I'm just confused as to why the Princess claimed that chaos magic wasn't yet understood, everything here seems to make so much sense, if not just a little bit unconventional. However, I still had the other book I had found to read. Hopefully by the time I'd finished reading the two, I'd have the firm grasp necessary to kick-start my own research. ..... .....No, that makes no sense. The other book said, that casting was done by directing the flow of the ambient-No, it said in the other book that chaos acted on the inherent imbalance in the state of- ..... .....No. .....No. This makes no sense. Makes no sense at all. In the back of my head, all I hear is a familiar voice. "Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense? > Chapter 3 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight's Exile Journal - Entry #3 ..... ...I may have done something horrible today... Okay Twilight, you're going to sit there, and right it in the book... Get everything down on paper... So, you know how I was in desperate need of water last night? Of course you don't, you're a book. But that's beside the point! ...I may not have truly understood yesterday just how desperate I really was. Just how far I was willing to go. I guess I'll have to start from the beginning. You see, when I woke up... The sun had yet to rise, and the landscape, still coated in it's blanket of moonlight, was as dead and lifeless as ever. Oh, and I was still alive. That was an added bonus. But if I wanted to keep it that way, I'd have to continue my journey as soon as I could. So with that, I stood myself up on to my hooves, and surveyed the surrounding area, and considered my options. Either, I risk climbing up the cliff-face to get a better view, and try and locate signs of life, but risk being too exhausted to continue. Or, I could make my way into the cave, now no longer in desperate need of rest, and try to find water, in a place that would provide me with some protection from the sun. Or I could just pick another direction, and see what I can find, if anything. If only Spike were here with me. He would tell me exactly what I need to do. Tell me to keep a level head. Tell me what the best course of action was. Help me to remember common sense. Give some sarcastic but uplifting comment that would- When I had finally managed to calm myself down a little from my little outburst, I had decided it would be best to risk climbing the cliff-face to get a better view. It was fairly tall, which while intimidating, promised a very wide view of the area. A wide view that could tell me where I should be headed next. Now, I'd like to think I made my way up carefully and calmly... Oh gosh, I looked down, I looked down. Nope. Nuh-uh. Dear Celestia HELP ME! ...And it didn't take long for me to reach the top, which I was thankful for. I'm a unicorn, my body isn't built for climbing, or any sort of significant physical activity. But when I got to the top, I had just the view I was hoping for. Long expanses visible on all sides, all the way to the horizon. On any other day, I would probably have appreciated the view being shown to me. These lands are pretty surreal and calming when you're not worried about something maybe eating you. No interference, no civilization, nothing. Just a desert formed only by the elements. Some might even call it beautiful. I however, had more important things to worry about. Like my own survival. As such, I didn't pay attention to any supposed beauty, only to what could possibly be out there. And thank goodness I was looking. My eyes squinted, scanning the horizon below for anything that would even remotely be of use for me. A spring of water, a broken down carriage... Anything whatsoever. I halted. My whole body froze at once. I continued to just stare at one single lone spot on the horizon. No.... It couldn't be.... Oh thank Celes-Uhh, someone! Thank whoever is out there! I had found someone else! I wasn't alone out here! Once again I had totally kept a calm composure. What do you mean you don't believe me? Shush you. You're a book, you're not allowed to think things. ....Anyway. Yes. I wasn't the only one, out here in the middle of nowhere. There was someone else here in the middle of nowhere. And maybe they knew how to get out of the middle of nowhere. Have I mentioned I want to get out of this tartarus forsaken place? But regardless, my hopes at that point were certainly up pretty high. At least, higher than they were before, but I'll take all the hope I can get. And at that point, my only hope was that he knew or had something that could help me... "Hey! Hey! Over here!". I spotted the nearby pony's ear twist in my direction. Clearly they had heard my shouting. The flailing and running may have also helped. Or that I ran full force into them immediately after. None could be so sure. "Ooh now, easy there". I now noticed the pony was a he. Earth pony. And most importantly, he seemed to have supplies. "Don't worry, I'm fine." I say, as I bring myself off of him, and back onto my hooves. "I meant more for my sake, but that's good to know at least". He lifted himself up, and spared his first glance at me. "And who do I have the pleasure of meeting?" "Twilight Sparkle. Yourself?" He looked at me oddly. "Twilight Sparkle you say? Where have I heard that name before..." "Well, I a-WAS Princess Celestia's personal student...." "...Princess Celestia had a student?" It is at this point that I was starting to become worried. "Element of Magic?". "Nuh-uh." "Defeated Discord?" "You mean the statue?" It is at this point that I was starting to become very worried. "Sister to Shining Armor?". "You mean the Crystal Prince? Didn't think he had a sister..." "...I'm an Element of Harmony for peeps sake!!" "...I don't recall you being one of the five elements..." Five elements... Five elements... ... That INSUFFERABLE Celestia! How on earth did she manage to do it?! How do you convince an entire continent that someone never existed?! Surely this is a joke right? Celestia wanted me to feel just that much more fearful than I already was? Sent this guy to beat me while I'm down. Only rational answer Celestia cannot be that powerful. She cannot be that powerful. Regardless, I had other things to worry about... "But anyway, my name is Steep Climb. Badlands Extraordinaire! Aficionado of Climbing! Doctorate in Danger." "...A pleasure, I'm sure." "I do wonder though, what brings a pretty young mare like you out in to this here desert?" Charmer, ain't he? "Oh, you know. Exile. The usual." "...Rough." "You have no idea." "..." "...You don't happen to have any water, do you? Besides a little bit of rain the other day, I haven't had a drop of water." His head dropped a little, and the upbeat expression he wore on his face dropped. "As much as I'd love to help, I'm running fairly low myself. Been trying to conserve what I still have, which is barely enough for myself." "B-b-but I'm stuck out here! I don't have any water whatsoever! I'll die of thirst before I can find anything!" Now he just looked crestfallen. "I'm sorry ma'am, but I don't think I could even if I wanted to. If I shared with you, I may just end up dooming us both. If it means anything, I believe I saw a possible reservoir to the south." I lowered my head. "I guess that's as good as anything. Which way is south?" He turned his body, and pointed in the direction away from the cliff. "Can't give you much more than that. I do wish you luck though." "About as good as I'll get". As such, I set off on my journey, leaving the first contact I've had in days behind. I don't know if I'll see him again, yet alone live to do so. My attention is too focused on surviving to linger by. Maybe I could have tried to milk the time for what it was worth, knowing the isolation I was inevitably heading off into yet again. But at that moment, I just hoped he didn't notice his water missing. ...Have I doomed someone to die in my place? Have I let myself live at his expense? These are the sort of things that rattle through my head, now that I've had time to process things. All it would of taken was a quick self-check, or a simple thought about why I was so quick to leave. Any of these things, and I would have been caught. I just stole a thirsty ponies water. And now I might just live a few more days. ...I don't know what to feel. Should I feel relieved? Disgusted? I just left a stallion to search for water in my place, without them knowing! ...I'm not a horrible pony, am I? I didn't do anything to deserve this. I shouldn't have to be thinking about this. Am I a horrible pony? It's just water. It's just water. He'll live, he does this thing for a living. He loves danger! He said so himself! I guess it could have been worse. He'll be too worried to realize I stole his lunch too. > Chapter 4 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight's Exile Journal - Entry #4 'You mean the statue?'. That is what he had said. It only really hit me now as I started to write this, the implications of that statement. Discord, the reformed Spirit of Chaos himself, a being I'd hesitate to call a friend, but a friend none the less, is once again a statue. What is even going on anymore? Why is Discord a statue again? Has everypony been forced to forget about him too? I was too wrapped in my own worries to even notice till now... Oh my gosh... I'm completely forgotten, aren't I? No one knows who I am anymore, and anyone who would, wants me gone, or is encased in stone. Celestia wasn't kidding when she said it'd be as though I never existed. If only I knew the extent of which she meant when it truly mattered. That being said, it does give me some hope that I might be able to reach Discord, if I can find a way to pull him out of his stone statue. We didn't necessarily leave on the best of terms, but he might be all that I have at this point. Oh what a thought. Me and Discord versus the world. That seems totally ridiculous. The important thing for me now, is to use what I have gained from my encounter, to find a more permanent place to hide out, and sustain myself. Only then can I figure out a way to get out of this mess. But right now, I still can't help but have questions. Why did Celestia choose to exile me? Surely she could have erased my memory along with everyone else in Equestria. Instead she decided to get rid of me first, and lose one of Equestria's protectors. Why did she do that? What good does that serve her? What could she possibly gain? Also, what good does locking Discord up again, do? Surely, if he is released again, or if he escapes, then her whole ruse would fall apart. Discord could return everyone's memories, or tell the story that I could otherwise never could. As long as he has his full power, surely nothing could stop Discord. Except the elements of harmony. Which only raises more questions, than it gives answers. And I'm not sure I like some of the answers it gives either. But even those aren't my biggest questions at this point. My biggest questions are simple. Why didn't Discord stop everypony? And what did he mean when we last spoke...? "No." I stated firmly. "This may be your only option, Twilight." "Nope. Not gonna do it." "And what do you propose you do instead? Listen, playing around with chaos magic yourself may be risky, but Discord is the Spirit of Chaos! The only danger is Discord himself!" "Because that's supposed to make me feel better, Spike." "Still better than things possibly blowing up in your face, more than they already do!" Ouch. That hurt. "Look Twilight, we've checked every book at the Canterlot Archives, and ever since we got back here, you've done nothing but obsess over this, with no conclusive results, whatsoever! You're achieving nothing, while neglecting all of your friends!" Spike, bless his soul, really does not understand how much I would like to avoid Discord, at all costs. Of course, his idea has good reasoning behind it, which makes it even harder to blame him. "I know Spike. Of course you're right". I held my head low, dejected. I shiver a bit at the thought of studying chaos magic with Discord's help. "Believe me, I'm seriously considering it, but I would rather do anything else, than get help from him." "Why of course! There's nothing else I would rather do than get help from you!" I said, with as much enthusiasm as I could both muster, and/or pretend to have. Discord obviously didn't look particularly convinced, but there was no way he was turning down an opportunity to mess with me. It just so happened that's exactly what I needed him to do. Just, you know, under proper testing conditions. Then again, chaos is chaos, no matter where it happens. Plus, I could also see the gears turning in his head. He was having ideas. "Splendid!" he suddenly exclaimed, as he wrapped his body around mine, restricting me from any movement. "Why, you must have jumped at the opportunity to have the Spirit of Chaos himself aiding your studies. Obviously you wouldn't want to avoid a friend who could be of assistance. That would just be incredibly rude." Way to make me feel more uncomfortable about this, than I already was. He teleported away from me (thankfully), and proceeded to float around me on his back, with a satisfied expression. "Why, this must be that assignment from Celestia you've been busy with. The one that has been occupying you for a while." Before I could respond, he appeared behind me in a flash. "You know, your friends have been worrying about you, being holed up in that tree so long." "And how would you know that?", I calmly put, as I turned to face him with the most disapproving face I could. His face seemed to lose all humor at that moment. "Because unlike some lavender unicorn I know, I've actually been trying to make an effort to be around my friends". That one cut deep. However, his amused expression came back soon enough. "So, when shall we begin?" "Really." "What? You didn't say how many you wanted to appear." "Just how do you fit that many bunnies into thaum-meter?" "Well-". "Give me an answer and I'll find a way to stick you in there too." "I'd like to see you try, m'dear." "So, you going to say your sorry?" "Yes, I'm sorry I angered the purple unicorn who enjoys stuffing innocent beings into things". "I think you can handle a few more minutes in there". An Extract from the Research Journal of Twilight Sparkle On the Subject of Chaos Magic Recovered and Restored by Discord, Spirit of Chaos As much as Discord has been incredibly helpful (much to my great surprise), he still seems to enjoy using most of the time trying to make things as difficult for me as possible. Granted, at times I've been doing the same to him, with little success. However, neither of those things are relevant to my findings. Despite Discord's almost never-ending supply of chaos magic, I haven't at any point been able to properly sustain a suitable sample. The chaos magic that's embedded into his spells seems to dissipate quicker than I am able to isolate it, no matter how big or chaotic Discord goes. I think he knows something, but he isn't telling me. I think he finds my lack of results to be greatly amusing. Amusing enough to not really give me a direction to go. The only empirical data I have been able to obtain, is as I conduct more and more attempts at isolating chaos, the ambient harmonious magic seems to be decreasing, or at the very least, is being diluted. If it's being diluted with chaos magic, it's still not significant enough to be able to separate or distinguish the two. My equipment also seems to be undergoing failures or miscalculations at times. They're becoming erratic. Unpredictable. I don't think I can attribute it to ambient chaos, but maybe to the decreasing harmonious magic. Although why decreased harmonious magic would result in my machines breaking is confusing at best, and totally illogical at worst. I'm also conducting fewer tests as time goes on, as both Spike and Discord try and get me out of my lab, and talking to my friends again. I'm sure my friends appreciate it, but I believe they might just see it as me fulfilling an obligation between my work. At some point I'll have to make it up to all of them, but maybe, if Discord and I raise the ambient chaos levels enough, maybe I can observe it's effects more closer, and fast track my research, to a point where I can take a proper break from my research. It's hard to tell how Discord feels about everything. At a glance, he seems no different from usual. Annoying, touchy and, maybe occasionally, funny. But the more research we do, the less at that there seem to be. He seems to be doing all of those things out of obligation, rather than cause he wants to. Why would he feel obligated to mess with me? I don't know. What I do know, is as we do more, he starts to appear more and more worried when he doesn't think I'm looking. Maybe there's another reason he's not telling me anything. Regardless, I'll complete a proper report on what I have so far, tomorrow. Right now, I've got more experiments to do, and Discord is getting restless. Which is pretty much always, but no reason to keep him waiting more than necessary. Hopefully, I can maybe return to this journal with better news soon. Twilight's Exile Journal - Entry #5 I've had a bit of time to think over everything now, as I've spent the last two days, just walking. Thankfully, I'm no longer trying to curl up into a ball, as I try to deny reality. Either I'm starting to accept reality, or I'm getting better at ignoring everything. Right now, I attribute it to a little of both. But my primary concern at this point has little to do with my mental state, surprisingly enough. No, all I want to know, is how can I reach Discord. Discord holds all the answers right now. There are still things he hasn't told me, and I fear they may be related to what stuck me out here in the first place. All I can hope for, is that Celestia didn't get to him too. Do I even still have friends at this point? They've all forgotten about me, willingly or otherwise, and they all but abandoned me when I needed them. Heh, wouldn't have been the first time... No. They are your friends, and they always have been. Yes, they've abandoned you before, but they've always tried to make things right in the end. Don't you dare think otherwise. I guess I'm not doing as well on the reality front as I thought. My main concern out here hasn't really changed. It's still mostly centered around finding a source of water (that hopefully doesn't require theft this time). The water I took is fairly close to running out, but I should be able to sustain myself for at least a few more days on this water. As far as what might be happening in Equestria, my concern is, what does the results of my research mean going forward? Most of it is hidden, possibly lost forever. That thought both comforts and worries me. It means that she probably hasn't found it, and that it could theoretically be found at a later date. The part that worries me, is who will be the one who finds it in the end? And will end up dooming us all? > Chapter 5 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was getting nowhere. Despite the distance I had managed to cover, I was still stuck with what my next course of action should be. In fact, the entire time I had been out here, not once have I found something to work towards. I've got information, I've managed to keep myself alive, and I know I need to get back to Equestria. But beyond that, nothing. And yet I kept moving forward, in some attempt to feel I was making progress. Walking isn't nothing. Therefore I'm doing something. I kept thinking about Discord. Something refuses to sit right with me. I must be missing something big, because despite every possible angle I've tried, nothing seems to line up. If only five elements are needed to lock Discord away, then where does the element of magic sit? The element of magic brings all the elements together. It's the thing that binds them all. Magic is what makes it all complete. So either the five elements on their own have enough power without Magic to seal Discord away, which means their power has been grossly underestimated... Or, the power used to put Discord away in stone had to come from something, or somepony else. So if I assume the elements weren't involved, then I'm left with where could that power have come from. Who might have the power or influence to rival the elements? Surely not Celestia... Right? She fell to the Queen of the Changelings power at my brothers wedding. But it's also just as possible she was holding back. While I wouldn't normally be so quick to distrust Celestia, all things considered, I wouldn't put it past her to hide her true power, for some sort of advantage. Although, that would require Celestia to know that things would turn out right in the end. Ugh, I had been thinking so long, I didn't realize the sun was setting. So soon? I don't feel as though I've made much progress today. I might just be slowing down from exhaustion. I went through the intensive task of manually digging out a hole in the desert floor to hole up inside, considering the lack of... well... anything really. I continued to think things over while I worked. So then, where else could that power have come from? It can't possibly be Luna. She herself was defeated by the elements of harmony, so there's no way she could be stronger than them. But I'm at a loss for where else that power could come from. Maybe they just needed enough power to make up for Magic, and that's it? But they would still need to channel the other elements as well. There is a third possibility, and that possibility is what has me worried. Cause if it's true, then there's a lot more going on than I thought. I covered part of my exposed body with the dirt, hoping to seal in some more warmth. My coat should keep me warm during the night, but I can't be too safe, especially with how cold this place gets at night. As I slowly shut down and felt my head growing heavier, my mind continued to race on one single detail. Could it be true? Could Discord have come willingly? "Discord... We need to talk". I won't lie, as much as a shock it may be, I was worried for Discord. Every passing week, I felt I was getting closer and closer to the end. To a unified theory of chaos magic. And possibly even more of a shock, I felt I was getting closer to Discord. And yet, his mood seemed to get worse and worse over time. At this point, he wasn't even trying to hide it. "Oh, have you found something interesting that you wish to share with moi? Or did you overnight become smitten by my devilishly good looks". No amount of eyebrow wiggling could convince me that wasn't a half-hearted effort. Almost. "Discord, what's wrong?" I said in my most sincere voice. And I wasn't pretending this time. His usual cocky expression dropped almost imperceptibly. Maybe if it wasn't so obvious that he wasn't putting that much effort into it, maybe I wouldn't have noticed. In an attempt to save face, he shrunk himself down, and leaned one of my forelegs. "Oh, is young Twily worried about little ol' me? I didn't know you cared! Still, whatever do you mean?". He said with a slightly higher voice due to his size. "Look, I'm worried about you." "What's there to be worried abo-" "I'm not done." He immediately held his tongue. Like, claw wrapped around tongue-y flesh, held his tongue. "Something has been slowly bothering you the more research we get done. Now I might not be thousands of years old, but I'm not stupid. I know you don't care for my research, and I know that you love being you." "Oh it's true-ue-ue!" He pulled out a mirror, and kissed it, before continuing his fake tears. I can tell he's trying to hide the fact that as I spoke, his posture went more and more rigid. "So what I meant by 'what's wrong', is why in Celestia's name, are you still here?". He stared at me blankly. "Excuse me?". "What would you care about the results of this research! And if anything, you've been just as holed up in this library as me! Your mood has been slowly getting worse, you're not even putting any effort into being, well, YOU! What reason do you have to still be here, if it's only making you feel worse?!" I slow down a bit and catch my breath. "...I don't want to see you feeling down because you feel you need to be here..." Throughout my monologue, Discord's expression grew more and more neutral. It was weird to see Discord, spirit of chaos, looking restricted and holding back. "What reason do I have to be here? I don't think you understand, Twilight. I am the spirit of chaos. Where there is chaos, so am I. You may not realize this, but your experiments have resulted in a lot of chaos, concentrated right in this Library. There is chaos here, therefore, so am I." His face became deadly serious, as he stared right through me. "As for why I might care for your research, frankly my dear, your research might very well leave me dead." My eyes couldn't have widened more if I tried. That's it! I woke up with a start, immediately making my way onto my legs. The sun had yet to rise, but I didn't care. I knew what I had to do. I knew how to get a message out to Discord. It might be risky, but if it works, I might finally have a direction to work in. "Where there is chaos, so am I." This might just be my only chance. I need to create some chaos in the badlands. The research had continued slowly for about two more weeks. Discord barely talked that entire time. It was eerie, seeing who I considered the loudest, most obnoxious being I had the displeasure of calling a friend, be driven to near silence. Still, he did what I asked of him that was needed for the testing. Unfortunately, he avoided any of my attempts to get him to open up. During those 2 weeks, my machines experienced more and more errors and faults. Thankfully, none of the results were wildly incorrect, but the machines themselves would break down on me. By the time I had finished my report, I had known why. But that still left Discord. "Uhh, Discord?" "Yes." "The report is done." "Oh, is it? Good for you." "...You can leave now if you want." "Well, I guess I'll be taking my leave then." He goes to snap his fingers, most likely to teleport away. But I stop him. "Wait!" He pauses. "Did you not say I could leave?" "I just want to know one thing." He looks irritated, but none the less he gestures with his claw to go on. "...Why did you help me, if you believe that the results will kill you?" "..." "...Well?" "...Cause I was hoping, and I'm still hoping things turn out differently this time". "...What? What do you mean?" "I'm hoping that you-" I focused my magic to my horn. I may not have my research with me, but I'd worked at it enough to remember the spell I'm casting. This is my only remaining option. "-Twilight, are you alright? You look awfully pale. I hope this task hasn't been too hard on you." I looked up to see Celestia, kind as ever, with eyes filled with worry. "I'm fine Princess. Really, I am. Just a little exhausted." "You haven't been neglecting your friends, have you? You should know that whatever project I give you, it should not get in the way of your friends." I thought back to everything Discord had done to help me, especially when he would push me to see my friends. "Oh, there's no need to worry about that. Discord more than helped me get out out of the library a bit. He's been quite a big help with the research." If she was surprised to hear about Discord, she didn't show it. "Is that so? Well, I guess I better thank him personally then. He has certainly come along way, hasn't he?" "Yeah..." I hope she doesn't notice my mood continuing to deflate. The more I sit here, the more I worry for Discord. Nuisance he may be, I don't want him gone. "...Princess?" "Hmm?" She'd been slowly drinking her tea throughout the exchange. No doubt she's already confident in my results. "...Can you remind me what this research was for?" She smiled at the question. "Twilight, surely you haven't forgotten have you? As I mentioned when I gave you this assignment, if we can understand chaos magic, we can potentially rid evil of their power. It's an extra line of defense against our foes." Then she smirked. "Surely you Twilight, of all ponies would like to remove variables." And that what my first indication that something was wrong. And maybe if I wasn't so tired, I would of thought to keep my mouth shut. "Variables, Princess? if I didn't know for certain that no one has seen my report, I'd have guessed you've already read it." The strain on my magic became clear, pretty quickly. I hadn't been using my magic for anything beyond levitation while out here. I was exhausted, dehydrated and starving. I didn't know if I had the strength to pull of the spell, but I had no other choice. If this fails, I've secured my own death. Her expression hadn't changed. "And what would lead you to believe that?" I hesitated, but went on none the less. "Well, as my report goes on to show, an increase in levels of ambient chaos magic, seems to result in more variables that need to be accounted for. My machines started to show signs of malfunction, but I was able to take into account any errors that arose." "...Curious. Go on." "However, the variables disappeared the moment I brought back in harmonious magic. It seemed to only occur when chaos magic was introduced." I myself take a sip of my tea. "So as far as indirect effects, chaos magic seems to result in, not quite unpredictability, but an increase in the number of variables to be accounted for." "And direct?" "Direct effects of chaos magic were hard to observe, until we reached a point where ambient chaos magic was actually measurable. At this point, ambient harmonious magic became immeasurable, leading me to believe that more of one kind of magic dilutes the other." "And what were you able observe then?" "When I observed the effects of magic directly, it just felt like changes were being made out of the blue, much like Discord's regular antics. Things would be changed in ways they shouldn't be able to be changed. However, based on my observations of indirect effects, I was led to believe that what it's doing is making new variables." "New variables?" "Well, for example, the materials that make up a cloud can't be changed. Different quantities, sure. But every cloud is still made up of the same basic elements. It's fixed. A direct effect of chaos magic may result in those elements being interchangeable, or making it variable. Then, that cloud can be made of anything, like cotton candy. And that idea can be scaled up to bigger things, given enough power behind it." "So your research has led you to believe that chaos magic is creating variables that shouldn't be there?" "I wouldn't say, shouldn't be there. More so, that as you decrease exposure to chaos magic, the more things become fixed and predictable." "Doesn't sound all that bad though, does it?" That stuck out to me as a bit weird. "...Princess, do you know all of this already? You've been asking me to clarify, but so far you seem to already know what I'm saying..." "Guilty as charged." She smirked at me. Likely, she was expecting me to react, knowing that the answers were already out there. "However, did you manage to create the spells to alter ambient chaos levels? I believe I sent a letter through Spike about that a week ago." "Yes! Of course! I almost didn't, but when I got your letter, I steered my research away from the theoretical, in order to try and produce a spell." "And did it work?" she asked. She looked hopeful for an affirmative. "...Yes. But Princess, I must ask again. What was this all for?" She grew serious. "It's surprising to see you asking so many questions. Don't worry, the spells you've made are very important to what I have planned." "But Princess, what do you have planned?" "As I said, if we can understand chaos magic, we can-" "-Get rid of evil's power. I get that. But you said you have something planned. Princess, what is it?" "..." "...Princess?" "Twilight. Give me your report." And that was the moment where all kindness from her voice was lost. ...She'd never given me a command like that before. No kind words surrounding it. No motherly like affection beneath her words. No. That was an order. "Princess, with all due respect, I can't on good conscience give this to you, without knowing what you plan to use it for." And that was when she grew angry. "Twilight, are you questioning me? Give me the report. Now." "Not when it might mean the death of my friend!" ... ... ...That outburst surprised even me. "...Excuse me?" "I-If what I understand is correct, if you can control the balance of chaos and harmonious magic, you have control of Discord's life." Strength was filling me at that moment, understanding the kind of power I had on the parchment in front of me. "And Discord or not, no one should be allowed that control over someone." "Twilight, that report has the power to safeguard Equestria indefinitely. No more uprisings. No more invasions. No ponies coming from nowhere, that threaten the security of this nation. No longer would we be at the mercy of the unpredictable." And that was when it all came together. Why Discord's mood grew worse. What Discord tried to warn me of. Why my spells are so important to her plans. "Surely you Twilight, of all ponies would like to remove variables." Celestia was going to rid the world of chaos magic. She was going to purge even the potential for evil. And that meant Discord would die. Even as tears came to my eyes from the strain, I pushed forward. My strength came from knowing why I'm doing this. What it might mean if I fail. Either Celestia finds my research, or she finds the next bearer to the element of magic. In the end, the only way to prevent Celestia is for me to stop her now. And that means I'm going to need help. I'm going to need help from the only being who can possibly rival Celestia. Without Discord, I have no hope. Please Discord. Please. I need your help. "...You're gonna kill Discord. You're gonna kill him." Tears that I didn't know I could spare for Discord, were filling my eyes. I don't care how much he annoyed me, or got on my nerves, Discord is still a friend. And the Celestia in front of me... This was a Celestia I'd never seen before. She was asking for control over Discord! "But I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed..." ...She had Discord reformed, so that he could help secure his own death. That's beyond needlessly cruel. It's despicable. "I can't give you this report!" Fury. "Twilight, I have been a live for tens of thousands of years. I have killed, and will likely kill again. My threats are not to be taken lightly. You will suffer a fate worse than death, if you don't give me that report now!" My head was shaking back and forth, trying to deny what I was seeing. Less than a few minutes ago, we were happily having tea to mark the end of my assignment, and now I'm fearing for my life. I couldn't believe it. Everything was happening so fast, that I hadn't processed any of it. "...N-No. I can't do this, no!" I turned around and ran to the doors of the study, bringing my report with me in my magic, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. Yes. In the next few days I'll find out this has all been a huge misunderstanding. I'll find out that Celestia was replaced by a changeling. Or that this is Discord's idea of a clever prank. Or that this is all one big nightmare. I throw open the door, and prepare to dash. "Twilight, wait." There's no regret, guilt or empathy in that voice. It's a stone cold request, that my body instinctively follows, as I turn to look at Celestia. "I will not stop you Twilight. However, you can avoid a great many things if you stop right now." My body is still frozen, not responding to my requests to leave immediately. "If you do choose to leave, then know this." I turn my head, unable to hold her gaze. "Before you even reach Ponyville, you'll find half of it in ruin. The library destroyed. Your friends homes burned to the ground. It will be classified as a terrorist attack, and they will find that it was committed by none other than one Twilight Sparkle. "They'll find out that your studies in to chaos magic has made you mentally unstable. That you'd been planning an attack on the town for weeks. Your friends will hate you. Your family will disown you. You will be thrown in prison, and be punished to the fullest extent applicable under Equestrian law. "And then I'll get that report anyway." If Discord doesn't appear soon from all the chaos magic, this will all be over. My whole body underwent excruciating pain. I was barely still standing, but I needed to continue. I needed more power. I needed to make a beacon out of chaos. And at that moment, I reached my limit. Every last drop of magic in my system had been expelled. My legs couldn't hold me anymore, and dread filled my system. I had failed. As my head hit the ground hard, and my eyes grew heavy, I swore I heard the voice of a certain draconequus. I ran. Of course I did, there was nothing else I could have done! Everything around me was collapsing, faster than I could process. I was preparing my horn to teleport as close as I could get to Ponyville. I need to save them from my choice to run. My body was gone in a white flash, and not a second later, I was standing on the dirt road, just on the outskirts of Ponyville. I was already too late.