> Rodger Dodger > by Randomizer77 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Dodge This!(OLD VERSION) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a lovely day outside, the sun shining high in the nearly clear sky, bird songs floating on the faint breeze, and ponies cheerfully milling about their lives. It was no surprise that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were coming up with inevitably chaotic ways to earn their cutie marks, but a new member was out on a different task... "Why did I even think of doing this?", Rumble thought to himself as he tripped on yet another tree root. "There isn't anything interesting out here in the woods." During his most recent meeting with the Crusaders, a certain optimistic colt decided to go exploring in the Whitetail Woods, hoping to snap some pictures of animals. Instead, all he got was dissapointment, frustration, and an empty roll of film. "Even Pinkie Pie would have taken more pictures of animals than I did, and she almost always scares them away!" He angrily shouted to no one in particular, kicking a rock as he did so. The adorable pegasus was startled by a sudden thunk! At first he was excited; he had finally come across something! His excitement quickly turned to dissapointment, however, as the sound turned out to have come from the rock he had just kicked landing next to the wall of an old shed. Boring! Rumble sighed dejectedly. "Maybe I should just go home..." He turned to leave and go back home, however, something caught his attention. Something shiny and large. Rumble didn't usually do this. He respected the privacy of other ponies(other than the time he went through his brothers flight related belongings in an attempt to learn, luckily, Thunderlane stopped him before Rumble inadvertently stumbled across his collection of Wingboner Magazine) But more so, he didn't want a repeat of the event just mentioned. Yet, something continued to tug at him. It was like whatever was in there WANTED him to look inside. "Don't do it!", one side of his conscience said. "It's most likely somepony else's private property! You know what they say, 'curiosity killed the cat!'" "And satisfaction brought him back.", the other side of his mind argued. "Whatever it is, it could be the perfect picture! Go check it out!" Throwing all caution to the wind, Rumble trotted over to the front of the shed. The front was sealed by a single large retracting door. He undid the lock, and pulled the door open...and quickly bolted for cover in a bush, waiting for whatever it was to start chasing him. Nothing happened. Curious, Rumble cautiously peered out of the lush greenery and was surprised to see that whatever it was hadn't moved an inch, instead, it remained silent in the nook provided by the small building. The young pegasus wearily stepped closer to the unmoving thing, concerned that it might be waiting for him to get close before attacking. Wearily, he stuck a hoof in front of it. Nothing. He tried waving said hoof. Still nothing. With lightning speed, he dashed across its front and stopped at the other side of the shed. No response. Rumble sighed with relief, whatever this thing was, it was inanimate. The grey colt decided to get a closer look at the machine. It was green, and large, from his point of view, at least. It rode on black and chrome wheels with cryptic writing on the sides of them. "'BFGoodrich Radial T/A'...so that's what these things are." he thought. The wheels themselves were finished in chrome, with the attractive shine dulled by the copious amounts of dust they had gathered from not having been washed for Celestia knows how long. A small black spoiler resided on the back, as did two dull chrome pipes. A small badge read "340 Demon", and was complete with a cartoon devil. Rumble couldn't help but giggle at this; it did look a little out of place on something that looked so fast. Circling back around to the front, he became aware of a small latch that resided underneath the front bumper. Pulling it the small pegasus was dissapointed when nothing happened. "But what does it connect to?" He thought. He experimentally tried pulling on the large metal sheet that lay above it. With some resistance and quite a bit of noise, it lifted up to reveal the coolest thing Rumble had seen so far, second to the car itself. It was a large, orange colored chunk of metal that was nestled in the large space under the metal sheet. Dozens of hoses and wires snaked in and out of the large block, which was topped by a thick black disc with indecipherable writing on top of it. "I wonder what all of these things do." he thought. Pushing the hood back down, the grey pegasus trotted over to the large door on the left of the vehicle. There was a simple button and a small handle. Depressing the button, Rumble opened the door with ease, even though it did creak rather loudly. Inside was amazing; two black seats flanked a tall lever up front, while a single large bench-like seat sat behind them. Three seatbelts spanned the length of the back seat, while a single belt sat by each front seat. A large panel covered with buttons and dials sat in front of the lever, which upon closer inspection, had numbers printed on it: R 1 3 |__|___| 2 4 "Interesting." Rumble thought. A single large wheel jutted in front of the closer front seat, and a cluster of gauges resided just behind the wheel. Underneath both and in front of the seat were three pedals, each having a large block of wood tied on. The seat had a large stack of pillows strapped on, tall enough for him to see over the large wheel, a small packet of papers resting on top of the pillows. It read "1971 Dodge Demon 340 Owner's Manual". Opening it, Rumble was greeted with worn, but still legible, writing that detailed the car's various components as well as the factory specifications. Rumble began to grow excited, he could already picture himself racing along the town roads in this low slung hot rod. Following the instructions, he placed the key into a small slot located on the large column that supported the steering wheel. Then, with even more noise than the door, it started. It was quite loud, no surprise since it was made in 1971, when cars tended to be quite noisy because they lacked effective silencers. But Rumble's excitement continued to grow. He could now see all the possibilities... The old Dodge sat, perfectly restored, in a sea of white. Sun glinted off of the trunk as it exited the pit area of a racetrack in Spain. It joined a pack of similar cars, all of them lightweight and equipped with small-block V8s. The track changed to the legendary Nürburgring in Germany. With a howl from the engine, a second Demon raced by, lowered and decked out with decals, spoilers, and a wild paint job. The scene changed to dusk, with the Demon now wearing a fiberglass bodyshell and a large wing. The sound of squealing rubber filled the air as it now drifted through a sharp corner in Spain, the sun highlighting the breathtaking view. It was again racing among a pack of purpose-built race cats, engine spinning rapidly towards its redline. Lastly, it rolled up to a set of lights, now lowered and sporting a blower protruding from the hood and a pair of huge rear slicks. With a mighty rev of the engine, it catapulted forward, with the extreme forces lifting the front of the car off of the road...... "Thunderlane is gonna be SO psyched!" he exclaimed excitedly before punching the throttle and racing off towards home. For additional effect, play Black Betty by Spiderbait Rumble's heart raced with anticipation as he safely brought the car to a stop near the town's outskirts, the motor settling back into an easygoing idle. With the push of a few buttons, music began to play. It was exciting, while not high-energy, it filled those listening with anxiety, eagerly waiting for the real stuff to start. Shifting into first, he gently urged the car forward as the lyrics began. It took all of his might to not punch the throttle, instead he entered a steady cruise. Shortly after, though, he opened all four of the carb's barrels, and was pushed into his seat as the car surged forward, quickly gaining speed. After successfully drifting around a tree, he immediately went into a 360, the extensively tuned motor easily overpowering the rear tires. Rumble raced into town, oblivious to the uproar he was causing. Time slowed as he threw the Dodge into a sharp right, pushing the car's limits as the tires squealed in protest. Opening the throttle completely again, Rumble slalomed through the various stands in the town square. Time slowed again as he did multiple doughnuts around one stand in a near-flawless imitation of Ken Block. Adrenaline raced through his veins as the Demon eagerly countinued to dart through perilously narrow gaps between stands and terrified ponies. Coming to a stop, he proceeded to stick a small hoof out the window as he laid down a long burnout, leaving the market with a souvenir on the back of his new toy, a rectangular metal plate that read "CRAZY 8" Finding his way under his home, he honked the horn a couple of times and shouted, "Hey Thunderlane! Check out what I found!" > Dodge This! (NEW VERSION) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a sunny, slightly cloudy day in Equestria. Birds were flying about and singing, rabbits had emerged from their burrows to forage for good, and ponies were going about their business or enjoying the sunny weather, often both. Well, except one. An irate Rumble grumbled as he stepped through some rough brush. "How did I get talked into this?" He thought to himself as he continued to the path in the middle of the clearing. He was in the Whitetail Woods, having just left a meeting with his fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders, they had decided to try and earn some bits by making a nature-themed calendar. Rumble wondered if the others were having any luck with their expeditions. They had either gone around town, near the outskirts, to Fluttershy's Cottage, or, like him, the Whitetail Woods. Rumble, being more adventerous, had chosen the Woods, in hopes of seeing some more of the exotic wildlife, such as deer. Disappointingly, it wasn't paying off; any wildlife he had seen he had only managed to catch glimpses of. "Even Pinkie Pie would be having more luck than this, and she almost always just scares animals off!" He muttered, disgruntled. In his frustration, he kicked a nearby rock, ignoring it sail through the air and out of sight. He decided he should now head back, after all, there were many things he could be doing right now... THUNK! Rumble stopped when he heard the rock strike something wooden. Maybe he could spot some good animals! He eagerly bounded through the bushes to where the rock had landed... only to be met with even more dissapointment as he came upon a raggedy old shed. "That's it?" He thought to himself. "A shed? I got my hopes up only to discover an old shed?!" That was the final straw. He began to leave, only for the light to reflect off something inside. Curious, Rumble cupped both of his hooves against the dirty window and peered inside. He could see something inside; something big. Wandering over to the front of the shed, Rumble opened the doors... and bolted for cover behind a tree. ... ... ...Nothing. Wearily, the young colt peered around the tree back towards the shed. The strange thing that was in there hadn't moved at all, not even a slight shift. Okay, so it wasn't dangerous; that much was a huge load off of his back. Slowly, he crept back towards the aging shed to get a better look at what he had found. It was indeed big, at least from his perspective. It was green, though the sheen had been dulled by the dirt and dust it had accumulated over its life. It was also strangely shaped, with large, black wheels with grayish centers and white writing on the sides. It read GOODYEAR POLYGLAS - E70-14. Maybe that was the name of these strange wheels. A small latch underneath the thing's front (hood latch) caught his attention. Pulling it with one wing caused the large metal sheet above it (hood) to raise slightly. And pulling on that, caused it to raise up, and reveal an equally peculiar mass of orange metal (engine). The green metal sheet stayed up by itself, allowing the gray pegasus to better look at the mysterious orange object. It was large, but not nearly as large as the rest of the thing, which he had by now deduced was likely some kind of carriage, judging by the fact it had four wheels. The metal chunk had belts, pulleys, hoses, a fan, and two hoses leading to a large, black, metal rectangle (radiator) the close end, and a black cone (brake booster) at the far end. In addition, there were numerous wires leading to and from the big metal object, some going through the other metal sheet at the far end (firewall). Also in the large compartment were a small, black box with two wires leading from it (battery), and a large, black and orange disk on the top with writing on it that read "340 FOUR BARREL" (air cleaner). Going around to the back showed more lights, albeit colored differently, a small black bar bent at both ends (spoiler), two pipes with a dulled reflection (exhaust tips), and two small badges: one read "DODGE", the other read "340 DEMON". So that's what this was? A Dodge 340 Demon? That was an odd name, he had never heard of it before. It sounded exotic; maybe it was something from another country? It made sense, since many things from other countries were almost unheard of, as well as unseen, in Equestria. Closing it with a loud kachunk, Rumble wandered back to the side, and opened a large metal piece attached to the rest of the carriage (door). Inside were old, torn seats; two in the front, one large seat in the back. In front of the seat closer to him was a large wheel attached to a column (steering wheel), and a number of gauges. In between the two seats was a piece with multiple knobs and dials, and a stalk with a horizontal cylinder on the top of it (shifter) with a strange pattern printed on it: 1 3 |___|___ | | | 2 4 R ... What did it mean? Rumble then noticed a small, flat piece of metal in a slot on the column the wheel was connected to (key in ignition). Curious, Rumble turned it forward once. Nothing happened. He turned it forward again. This time, the gauges in front of him lit up, but that was it. Bravely, the gray pegasus colt turned it forward yet again. This time, an odd and startling sound reverberated throughout the carriage, originating in front of him. He let go of the flat metal piece, and the sound changed; it was almost like... like it was alive! Rumble began to panic, but stopped when he realized that the carriage still hadn't moved. He pushed down on the rightmost pedal, and the sound from in front of him grew louder. He let off, and it quieted down again. He tried the middle pedal. Nothing. Left pedal. Still nothing. He tried to move the stalk towards the "R" position, but it resisted. He tried holding down the left pedal, and it slid into place. He began to press down on the right pedal... only to go backwards into the back wall of the shed. Whoops. After recovering, he instead moved it to the "1" position, and tried pressing the right pedal again. This time, the carriage moved forward, out of the shed. He tried pressing the middle pedal, and it stopped. Okay, so the right pedal (throttle) moved it forward, the middle pedal (brake) stopped it, and the left pedal (clutch) needed to be pressed to move the stalk, which in turn was neccesary to move the carriage. Why, was beyond him. He let go of the middle pedal while turning the large wheel towards the edit of the woods, and the carriage rolled in that direction. So to turn it, you simply turned the wheel in the direction you wanted to go. Made sense. Slowly, he began to ease the Dodge onto the path; something told him that it wasn't designed for this kind of terrain. Yet, it rolled along with ease. When one of the gauges began to reach red, Rumble depressed the left pedal and moved the stalk to its "2" position. The gauge needle dropped, and the motor grew quieter, but he was able to go faster. Interesting; apparently, the stalk had to be moved to a higher number for the carriage to go faster. He slowed down for a turn, only to find the carriage moving with noticeably less grunt upon exit. So he changed back to 1, and it regained any lost thrust. According to the gauge that he deduced indicated the carriage's speed, he was moving at ten miles an hour. But he had a feeling that it could go faster. So he practiced changing gears for awhile, before rolling up at an imaginary start line. He revved the engine once, twice, three times... then shifted into first, engaged the clutch, and floored the gas! Rumble was surprised by how fiercely it accelerated, and he recovered just in time to change into second. The noise from under the hood continued to grow as he rapidly gained speed, soon hitting sixty before having to shift into third. The road was wide and open, but soon narrowed into a twisty, winding stretch; perfect for putting this car through its paces. Rumble downshifted twice back into first for the first corner, a low speed right hander. The Demon followed his commands without hesitation, zipping through the corner with ease, aided by the low weight of the small block up front, with the limited-slip out back helping to put all the power down upon exit. It was followed by a low speed left hander, with the small Dodge again obeying without hesitation. Next up was a series of sweepers, each the opposite direction of the last. It was a good test of how a vehicle reacted to quick changes in load direction. The Demon cruised through the sweepers with ease, with the tires' grip tapering off gradually, alerting the driver when they were at the absolute edge of their gripping capabilities. The sweepers preceded a long straight, where Rumble was able to touch 90 miles an hour, before braking hard for a series of rapid ninety degree corners that tested a car's responses. The Dodge was a hair slow to change direction and exhibited a touch of understeer, but otherwise navigated the tight area without incident. After a 270 degree circle corner, Rumble charged down an extremely long straight on which he was able to hit 110 before braking full on for a sharp, 180 degree double-apex corner. Pulling out of the corner, a single thought ran through Rumble's mind: "Thunderlane is going to be so psyched when he sees this!"