What not to do when courting a princess

by Raised_on_Shoegaze

First published 20th of March, 2012

Fluttershy takes Celestia out on a disaterous first date.

See what happens when a shy pink maned mare attempts to woo the princess of the sun....numerous times with very little success. A prequel to my other story, Goodnight Kiss, cover art is a screenshot from the show.

Great minds think alike

"Please don't tell me that's what you're wearing on your date with the princess." Rarity said as Fluttershy dropped a tuxedo on the counter of Rarity's dress shop. The yellow mare looked down and blushed after hearing her friend's disapproval in her choice of attire for the following evening.

"Well I guess it is a little revealing, maybe I should pick out something a little more modest." Fluttershy said as she lifted her head and picked the tuxedo up with her mouth with the intention to place it back on the rack that she had taken it from. Rarity gave a sigh before she trotted out from behind the counter and stopped the mare before she could place suit back on it's hanger.

"It's a first date dear, you're supposed to be a little revealing. I mean, don't you ever watch soap operas or romance movies!" Rarity exclaimed to the slightly scared and embarrased unicorn in front of her.

"But, wouldn't it be better to cover up on a first date?" Fluttershy asked, earning her a glare from the dress maker in front of her, who was currently searching through a rack of dresses, tossing many to the side which ended up forming a pile behind her.

"Whatever do you mean dear?" Rarity asked as she lifted a rather extravangant dress from one of the hangers and appeared to examine it before tossing it behind her.

"I mean, if we're naked most of the time then wouldn't it make sense to cover up when we're on a date?" Fluttershy asked, causing her friend to stare at her friend from behind the shrinking amount of dresses with a thoughtful look on her face as she thought about what the words her friend had spoken.

"I never thought about it like that." Rarity said with a smile as she moved from the rack of dresses towards the pile on the floor, and then proceeded to search through the dresses which she had previously discarded.

"Nevertheless dear, you still cannot wear a tuxedo when you go on your date with the princess." Rarity explained as she dug through the dresses, causing a pout to appear on Fluttershy's face as she trotted towards the tuxedo and appeared to feel the black fabric with her hooves.

"Why not?" Fluttershy asked, causing Rarity to chuckle as she turned her head towards the yellow pony.

"Well, a tuxedo is considered to be more of a masculine type of clothing and is usually worn by colts. Since you're a mare a dress would probably suit you better, since it's more feminine." Rarity said with a smile upon correcting the slightly confused mare before lifting a dress from the pile of clothes and smiling.

"A dress like this would be the perfect thing to wear on your date." The young dress maker said with a smile as she brought the dress over to Fluttershy who grimaced slightly upon seeing the white dress which looked suspiciously like it was meant to be worn at a wedding rather than on a first date.

"Are you sure I can't get the tux?" Fluttershy said, whilst lifting the tuxedo she hadn't realized she was holding in her hooves. "Somebody has to the colt in our relationship after all, why can't it be me?" Fluttershy asked, causing Rarity to pout as her gaze drifted from between the white dress and the black tuxedo. After a few seconds of examining both pieces of clothing, as well as the yellow filly in front of her she gave a sigh.

"Well I guess if I can't change your mind..." Rarity said with a defeated look upon her face as she stepped behind the counter to accept her friend's money for the poorly chosen article of clothing. Once the shy mare paid she gleefully took the tuxedo and proceeded to trot out of the shop with a smile on her face.

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"Fluttershy, what a nice surprise." Princess Celestia said with a smile as the door to her bedroom was opened by one of her guards and the shy filly walked into the room wearing a tuxedo and clutching a small package in her mouth. The shy filly gave as best a smile as she could before dropping the parsel on the floor of the bedroom.

"Good evening princess." The filly said with a smile on her face as she trotted towards the much larger mare's bed. The mare in question gave a smile in return and moved her body closer to the edge of the bed to make room for the filly. This caused the yellow filly's smile to enlarge as she gleefully leaped into the empty space on the bed of he princess. Once the two were comfortable Celestia turned towards her much smaller and younger potential suitor.

"May I ask why you came to visit me in my castle?" The princess asked, causing the fily beside her to blush slightly.

"I just wanted to spend a little time with you before our date." The filly said with a blush as she lowered her head in slight embarrassment. The princess gave a smile at the cute display before she leaned down and planted a kiss on the shy fily's head, causing her blush to deepen.

"It's not wrong at all." The princess said with a smile as she leaned away from the tuxedo wearing filly with the same smile still on her face, as she gently lifted the filly's chin so that her face was facing hers. Fluttershy's blush seemed to consume her face upon being in sch a position with the princess and the princess likewise found herself developing a little more of an attraction towards the adorable filly in front of her.

"However, I would have to suggest that you wear something different on our actual date." The princess said with a slightly serious tone, causing Fluttershy to look down at her suit in shame.

"You...don't like it." Fluttershy said, as apparent tears started to run down her eyes. The princess gave a smile as she leaned in to kiss the filly on the cheek.

"I'm afraid you've misunderstood my words. I do like the suit you have chosen, and you do wear it exceptionally well." The princess said with a smile, pausing to glance at the deepening blush forming on the filly's face.

"I also liked it when I picked it out to wear on our first date."

Diary entry

Dear diary

Remember last week when I told you that Rainbow Dash had given me tickets to a soft-rock group called Ministry, and that me and Celestia were going to go to that concert on our third date. Remember how I said I thanked Rainbow Dash for her generosity many times over for giving me the two tickets? Remember when I wrote that I didn't want to hear any of the band's music before the concert so that me and Celestia could share our first time hearing them together.

Well, they weren't what I thought they were.

Apparently Rainbow Dash didn't know I was dating the princess (which is understandable) and believed that I was dating Twilight instead, so she thought it would be funny to play give us tickets to see a heavy metal band. My ears are still ringing from the loud instruments and the screams of both the 'singer' and the overenthusiastic fans. The fact that we had what Rainbow Dash called floor seats for the concert didn't help much either. 'Stops writing to examine bruise on shoulder'

Of course, the worst was yet to come.

Celestia had disquised herself for the concert, as she had on our last two dates, so the band had no idea that one of the deities of Equestria was attending their show. If they did, they probably wouldn't have played many of the songs that they played. One of these songs featured samples of Celestia's voice from various speeches spliced together so that they sounded a little bit like this:

"I have adopted sophisticated terrorist tactics and I'm a dangerous dangerous mare with dangerous dangerous weapons."

As well as this:

"I am a weapon of mass destuction, and I am a brutal dictator, and i'm evil."

It was awful, seeing the love of my life flinch every time she heard her voice played throughout the stadium, with many ponies screaming that they agreed with every word being said by the band. After about 3 songs we decided to leave the show.

Once we left the stadium, we decided to go to an ice cream parlour to salvage our ruined date. of course with my luck someting bad had to happen there as well.

Applejack and Rarity were at the ice cream parlour along with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. When we walked in the building to order our treats Applejack and Rarity appeared to be in a booth shouting at my rainbow-maned friend. It was pretty hard to tell exactly what they were saying, but I believe I heard Aplejack entioning that the concert tickets she had given me were meant for her and Big macintosh. I also believe Rarity say that 'a rock and roll concert is no place for a princess'.

Of course, almost as soon as we got in line to order our ice cream treats Pinkie Pie noticed us and immediately flew over. I'm not exagerrating here, she seemed to fly over to us to say hello and to ask if i was cheating on Celestia with another mare. She also asked me if she could pick Celestia up on the rebound (Whatever that means) and complimented me on my tuxedo, which was actually pretty nice of her.

I hope you will forgive me for not wanting to tell you what happened later in the parlour, it's nothing against you really, it's just that I don't want to relive what happened next.

After the ice cream parlour disaster (Mr. Cream said he'll send me the bill for carpet cleaning by the end of the week) Celestia walked back to my house and gave me a kiss at the door of my house. She gave a warm smile that made my knees feel wobbly before arranging a time for our next date. Of course, when I asked what we were going to do she gave me another smile and said it would be a surprise.

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"What are you reading mommy?" A little blue colt with a shoart black mane asked as she trotted queitly into his mother's room. His pink haired mother gave him a warm smile as she set the aged book beside her on her bed.

"I was just reading one of my old diary entires from when me and your other mother were courting each other." Fluttershy said to the young colt who would someday inherit the crown of Equestria in a similar way to how his older brother had inherited it a few years before. This thought brought a slight tear to the mare's eyes, which she immediately wiped away to prevent it from obscuring her vision.

"It's on days like today that I miss the most." The yellow mare said with a sad tone to her voice as a small stream of tears started to form in her eyes.