When Fluttershy becomes pen pals with Discord, she gets much more than she bargained for with the troublesome draconequus.
Discord is reformed and now on the path towards becoming a productive member of society. To help him stay on the straight and narrow, Fluttershy begins to write letters to him, with the two quickly becoming pen pals. With their sharing of letters, Fluttershy begins to learn more about the conundrum known as Discord, while Discord learns what it truly means to be a friend.
Collaboration with the totally awesome Flint Sparks! If you enjoyed the story, then definitely check this guy out!
“Discord, your mail is here!” Celestia called down the hall. Counting to three in her head, she ducked at just the moment Discord flew by over her head, slamming himself into a pancake against the wall.
“Mail?” Discord muttered, flopping down on the ground, still in his two-dimensional state. Pulling himself back up and blowing into his thumb until he was back to his normal form (or however normal you can get with someone like Discord), he scratched his head. “But I haven’t gotten mail in over a thousand years. Minus the junk mail, of course. Even when you’re trapped in stone, they still manage to find out how to send it to you.”
“It seems like it came from Ponyville,” Celestia said. Reading the return address on the letter, she said excitedly, “Oh, it is! And from Fluttershy too. I didn’t know she sent letters to you.”
“Oh yeah, the pen pal thing.” Discord snatched the letter from Celestia’s hoof and scrutinized it with his mismatched eyes. “She mentioned something about that right as I was leaving Ponyville after being reformed. Says she wants to make sure we stay in touch and remain friends.”
Celestia smiled knowingly to Discord. “Now doesn’t that sound sweet?”
“It sounds more like she wants to make sure I stay reformed,” Discord said bitterly under his breath. Sighing, he broke the seal on the letter and unfolded it while he took out his reading glasses, which just so happen to look like novelty x-ray goggles. “Well, might as well as give it a read, since I have to reply back later anyways.”
“Have fun, Discord. And do try to be more courteous in letter form than what you usually do,” Celestia said, taking her leave.
Muttering her words under his breath in a mocking tone, Discord began to read Fluttershy’s letter.
Dear Discord,
It’s strange, writing to somepony again. I haven’t written to anypony in ages since the last friendship letter I could remember. Strange enough, I don’t remember writing any letters before that at all. You must be wondering why I of all ponies chose to write, but that’s what friends do. Now that you're reformed, Princess Celestia must be using your magic for something truly wonderful! However, castle life must be dreadful for once used to the freedoms you once lived in. Your face, your behavior, it was reminiscent of a certain little bunny I know. Rebellious, cheeky, and maybe a little underhanded, it’s obvious all you want is a little freedom.
Unfortunately, I’m just a little pony in Ponyville, nothing special other than the cutie mark given to me. I wish I could do something for you, as your friend, but not even I can quell the anguish of a caged life. We pegasi, we live in the clouds, we know what true freedom is. I did my best to save you from a stone prison, to save you from your own pride, but there’s nothing more I can do than offer friendship and kindness. I will always be your friend, Discord, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Love, Your friend,
Fluttershy.
PS: Strange, my little Angel made me scratch that last part out. Perhaps he’s a little jealous that his mommy has friends?
“Huh, so this is a letter to me, from Fluttershy, making us pen pals now,” Discord said, removing his goggles while tugging at his beard in thought. “I suppose I’m obligated to respond now. At least so she doesn’t get disappointed.”
Pulling out a piece of paper from his left nostril, Discord snorted and huffed and finally blew out the quill in his right. Dapping the end of the quill on his tongue, Discord clicked the feathery end so that a pen’s fine ballpoint appeared at the end of the quill. He began to write, muttering to himself, “I hope that this paper has a spell check program on it.”
Fluttershy hummed a song, one her mother taught her, as she tended to the flower bed with her critters. A few squirrels planted seeds for her, her wonderful bear assisted in pulling the weeds as she watered the flowers. Lilacs, daisies, and even a few tulips were all her latest projects. Fluttershy closed her eyes as she tilted her head down, sprinkling the watering can over the thirsty flowers. Shelter, water, and lots of love. They’re just like animals, without the constant bickering. Even so, I wouldn’t change them for the world. Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile as she watered the flowers, thinking of her lovely animals.
A fluttering of wings tore her attention from the garden. As the wing beats became more audible, Fluttershy set her can down and looked up into the sky, expecting her friend Rainbow Dash. Curiously enough, it was the mailmare. Fluttershy set down the watering can and trotted away from the back of her cottage to the open field.
“Letter for Fluttershy!” Ditzy, Ponyville’s perky pegasus, announced. Just as Fluttershy waved a hoof and began to speak, the mailmare’s flew toward her cottage. Cross-eyed and disorientated, Ditzy missed the mailbox and the door, somehow managing to crash onto the birdhouse to the chagrin of its denizens.
A few minutes later, Fluttershy had Ditzy on her bed, head wrapped in bandages, and quietly sipping soup as Fluttershy tore into her letter. Her eyes scanned over the words, expecting a response from a certain somepony. As soon as she saw the sender, she sighed in relief and began reading.
Dear Fluttershy,
I must say, it was a surprise getting this letter from you so soon. Truth be told, I was never much of a letter writer myself. Hearth’s Warming Eve cards were a bit tricky to do while trapped in stone, plus, the fact that holiday was invented after I got trapped in the first place. As for Sunbutt putting my powers to good use, let’s just say that making it rain mints from the sky wasn’t really appreciated. I mean, come on, now everypony can have fresh breath. Who wouldn’t appreciate that?
As for my ‘new’ type of imprisonment, it isn’t too bad, I suppose. At least I can move around and stretch out a bit, which my stone prison never allowed. Plus, no pigeons! Though I do have that urge to go out and cause chaos again. Some cotton candy clouds could really improve the scenery here. Oh, but I do suppose you and the rest of your friends wouldn’t appreciate that, would they? Seems all my ideas are unwelcome here.
Anyways, don’t cut yourself short, either. You’re not just any unspecial little pony. You’re an unspecial little pony who’s friends with me, Discord! Now isn’t that something to be more proud of than that Element Bearer title, which I must say reeks of pretentiousness. Not that you do, Fluttershy, but I know you’re much better than that.
LOOOOOOOOOVE, Your eternal friend, buddy, companion, amigo, compadre, and bro,
Discord.
PS: Tell your little Angel that we’re really, really good friends and he shouldn’t be jealous at all.
Fluttershy chuckled, expecting nothing less from the spirit of Chaos. To her side, Ditzy finished her soup and called for Fluttershy’s attention. She set down the letter and assisted the mailmare out of bed. Together, they walked out of her cottage back outside. Ditzy gave a few practice flaps, proving herself to be well enough to get home for much needed rest. The mailmare took her bag and saluted Fluttershy, before flying back to the post office.
Fluttershy immediately turned tail and galloped to the letter, exhilarated to write back to Discord. He had accepted her correspondence! He was reformed! She grabbed a quill and immediately set to work, writing a response in glee. I can’t wait to hear from him again!
“Come on, come on already,” Discord said impatiently, tapping his foot on the empty air as he floated above the ground. “The mail is supposed to get here at six on the dot. I hope my watch isn’t broken.” Looking down at the mini sundial he used as a wrist watch, Discord peered up at the clouds blocking out the sun. “Stupid stormy weather.”
“I’m here!” Ditzy shouted from high above. The erratic mailmare was descending at a fast rate, practically dive-bombing to Discord down below.
Humming under his breath while observing the falling Ditzy, Discord took out a marker. Holding his fingers out to judge the rate of descent of Ditzy’s path, Discord stuck out his tongue from the side of his mouth and nodded to himself as he drew an x right next to himself. Leaning on his mailbox while counting under his breath to three, he smiled as Ditzy’s trajectory met its mark.
Which just so happened to be his face.
“Oh, thanks for saving me!” Ditzy said, opening up Discord’s mouth and depositing his mail there. “Anyway, here’s your mail!”
“How wonderful,” Discord muttered through the mail inside his mouth. As Ditzy got up and departed with a goodbye wave, Discord picked himself up and dusted himself off. Spitting out his mail in his paw, his sour mood took a turn for excitement when he saw who the letter is from.
“It looks like the saving grace of pen pals works yet again!” Discord cried out triumphantly, already greedily opening up the letter. “Let’s see what we’re in store for today…”
Dear Discord,
Perhaps Pinkie Pie is rubbing off on me, but I couldn’t help but giggle at the mints. Mints, really? You really are clever, aren’t you? Between you and me, and I do hate gossip, Rainbow Dash and Applejack could certainly use it. Rarity certainly complained about it on the train to the Crystal Empire; you know how she is. Sometimes I’m a little envious of her, how pretty she is and her bravery, but I could never complain as much as her. Wait, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry! Rarity doesn’t complain, she just… finds the potential beauty in things and point it out? I wouldn’t know, I only remember my brief career as a model. Dreadful, scary, I could never do that again. I could never be Rarity.
Speaking of the Crystal Empire, have you ever heard of the Equestrian Games, Discord? It’s quite exciting for ponies to gather from across Equestria and compete together. Maybe someday you can do it too! You’re part pony, right? Technically that means you’re one of us! I think. My talent is my love for animals, but not even I can place a hoof on you. I’m sure if you asked, Princess Celestia would love for you to play games with the ponies! It’d certainly be a positive use of your powers and an excellent way for you to stretch about. Maybe I can ask Twilight to send a letter about it. I’m certain that ponies everywhere would love to see your wondrous tricks and magic.
And thank you, Discord. I’m not worried about not being special anymore, I’ve learned that lesson with my friends since… that minotaur came into town. I’m Fluttershy and I’m happy for it. I’m also Fluttershy, friend of Discord. That does sound a little nicer than ‘Element Bearer,’ doesn’t it? Fluttershy, Discord. Fluttershy, Discord. Kindness, Chaos. Kindness, Chaos.
Sorry for the rambling, but I thought you’d like a little senseless, amusing babble.
Discord’s friend,
Fluttershy.
PS: It didn’t work. He’s learning to sharpen toothbrushes, Celestia knows why. Make sure you write a letter before coming over next time, I don’t want you being skewered by rabid bunnies.
PSS: Don’t tell Princess Celestia, but feel free to make the cotton candy clouds again. As stubborn as they may be, ponies really enjoy those. Just… just make sure pegasi can buck them clear this time, okay? Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie would appreciate it.
“Looks like Angel has become a bigger threat than I thought,” Discord noted. “Better snip that problem in the bud before it becomes a thorn.”
Rereading the letter from start to finish, Discord scratched his head as he peered closer at the wording. “A model? Fluttershy…” Discord briefly blushed as he quickly ran back into the castle. “Hey Celestia, do we have any fashion magazines anywhere?”
Fluttershy laid on top of her bed, panting exhausted after such a long day. She lacked the energy to curl up, merely laying legs-strewn on her back on top of the sheets. The day’s events flashed through her mind’s eye: vague, cloud recollections of another life, Twilight’s sudden and jarring transformation, and a coronation the very next day! She hadn’t had any time to sleep at all, leaving her dead tired.
She rolled her head to the side, eyeing the stack of envelopes at the bottom of her pillow. Most likely bills, as usual, but a small piece of her heart hoped it was something else. Somepony else. Summoning her reserves, she bent her head down and grasped the strange, brown envelope with her teeth. Carefully, she tore the envelope open and pulled out the letter. The parchment was a stained tan shade, and had a hint of strawberry to its scent. Odd, but something to be expected from the Spirit of Chaos.
Giggling from the euphoric scent, Fluttershy found the energy to flip over to her side and began to read properly. A few animals crawled onto the bed with her, prompting her to read aloud for all to hear.
Dear Fluttershy,
Interestingly enough, I actually started the Equestrian Games, many a millennia ago. At the time it was fun amusement to make the various races of Equestria and even the world compete in challenges of glory and greatness. Of course, I won all the competitions. Except for that dang 50 yard dash event, in which I got a silver. Such a disappointment…
But nonetheless, the thought of entering the games and reclaiming my title as the best athlete in all of Equestria is definitely an intriguing notion. Might just run that by Celestia. After I have to clean up all those mints that is.
Also, finally I find someone who appreciates my ideas and talents. I tell you, some ponies are just so self-centered they can’t open up to new ideas. At least I know you have good tastes and appreciate the finer things in life. Maybe when I come over for a visit I can show you my newest creation. Blue cotton candy clouds that rain strawberry milk! It has the same flair of the original with a new kick out of it!
Also, I think you would make a great model. Way better than marshmallowbutt Rarity would be.
Fluttershy’s BEST friend,
Discord.
PS: Tell Angel I have spoons. Toothbrushes aren’t the only thing you can sharpen.
PSS: Also, fine, I’ll make the cotton candy clouds buckable. Takes half the fun out of it, but for you, I’ll do it.
“Oh, so that explains this delectable scent,” Fluttershy commented as she took in a subtle whiff. A few critters nodded in agreement, their mouths salivating at the nostalgic scent of strawberries. Fluttershy shifted in the bed, turning to face her animals. “Um, if you don’t mind, please get me some parchment and a quill? I’d really like to get everything off my chest before I fall asleep.”
Once equipped with the tools, Fluttershy began to write. Her heart was excited, hammering as she thought about her day, but slowly grew dark as the previous’ implications sunk in. Despite this, she wrote her heart out to her friend, the one she began to feel as if she could trust everything with: Discord. She wrote down her fears, her trials, the feelings she hid from her friends. Everypony knew she was shy, but she couldn’t hold them back anymore. Discord, however, was there for her. To hear from her, to listen. And thus she wrote everything she could before falling unconscious, snoring.
“Discord, just what do you think you’re doing?” Celestia asked him.
Discord looked up from his binoculars facing the open window, shooting Celestia a deadpan look. “Spying on the mailbox, what do you expect?”
Celestia frowned and shook her head slowly. “Yes, well, that much was obvious on its own. Why exactly are you doing it is what I’d like to know.”
“I’m waiting for mail. That’s what you typically do when you spy at the mailbox with binoculars.” Discord rolled his eyes, which actually moved down to fit into the binocular slots, which he blinked a few times. “Sheesh, get with the program, Tia.”
“Are you actually going to tell me this so called program, or are you just going to keep me in the dark as usual?” Celestia asked with a raised brow.
“Whichever one seems the most fun.” Raising the binoculars with his eyes still attached at the end to stare at Celestia, and noticing how she was still there, he sighed and said, “I’m waiting for the mail to arrive because I’m looking forward to Fluttershy’s letter.
“Aww, why isn’t that just the cutest thing.”
“No, it isn’t. It is merely an exchange of letters.” Discord returned to his spying while releasing a disgruntled huff under his breath. “Since she’s apparently the only pony who cares about my opinions.”
“Is this about the mint incident a couple of days ago?” Celestia asked.
“... No, it isn’t.”
“Fine. Have a nice wait then,” Celestia said as she left him alone.
“Finally,” Discord said, returning his gaze back to the mailbox. Instead, his gaze met that of Ditzy as she crashed through the open window and hit him square in the head.
Picking herself up from Discord’s noggin, Ditzy waved to the draconequus below her and said, “Hey there, Discord! You saved me again!”
“I live to serve,” Discord muttered from beneath her hooves. As Ditzy left the letter atop his head and left him be, Discord unfolded the paper and read it from his position on the floor.
Dear Discord,
Before I address your last letter, I just have to get it out of my system. TWILIGHT IS AN ALICORN PRINCESS.
Sorry, too loud…?
It was a shock at first, Twilight disappearing after a bright flash from our Elements only to reappear hours later with wings! Wings! Not the nimble wings of a pegasus, but big, broad wings of an alicorn! It was amazing when she finally reappeared and the first thing she did was spread those… beasts! Maybe I’m just being a little silly pegasus, or maybe it’s my healthy curiosity as a veterinarian, but my first thought was preening those monsters. Princess Celestia and Luna certainly have large wings, but now that Twilight has her own then perhaps I can finally get a feel try my hoof at preening. It’ll certainly be a new experience and help with my animal care! Did you know that alicorn wings more closely resemble the wings of a bird than a pegasus? A close examination would definitely help when it comes to bandaging wings, since the poor critters are too small to study safely and accurately.
But enough babbling, I’m sure you’ve heard of Twilight enough already. You two don’t get along, do you? I understand why, since she did kind of defeat you and ed your first escape from a stone prison of a thousand years, but it had to be done. Now you’re reformed, good, and ponies enjoy seeing you instead of fleeing in terror! Please, Discord, give Twilight a chance. She’s a good pony, she just wants to protect the ones she loves.
Speaking of princesses… I can’t help but giggle at the thought. It’s every filly’s dream to be a princess, you know. Unless you’ve never really talked to girls before, I suppose. We girls are fickle creatures at time; hardly a stallion understands us! Even I, the shyest of ponies, can’t help but daydream about being a princess now. Just yesterday, the night after Twilight’s crowning, I couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if it was me having a coronation. Princess Fluttershy, imagine that. Of course, that’s not the only thing I thought about. Princesses are proper, princesses are pretty, princesses attract handsome princes for marriage. Oh my, me? Married? I can hardly talk to Big Mac, let alone a prince of Equestria! Though, considering Rarity’s not-so-happy encounter with a Prince Blueblood, perhaps that fantasy should stay fantasy. I doubt any stallion could make me happy, thanks to my… you know.
Now, about that athleticism. Don't let Rainbow Dash hearing you talk about that! Not only is she the fastest flyer in Equestria, she can perform the Sonic Rainboom! Even with your magic, I doubt even you of all ponies could copy her (tee-hee)! Of course, you could always try and I’ll support you, but don’t get your hopes up!
...
… Discord, something scares me. You’re the spirit of Chaos, correct? Something chaotic happened to me. Before Twilight’s ascension, something strange happened to my friends and I. I can’t remember everything, it’s a blur, but I do remember Twilight explaining that our destinies had…changed? Apparently I thought my talent was laughter and parties, like Pinkie Pie, and had been nearly driven out of town due to my unfavorable performance. I’m sure Twilight didn’t mean to, but it scared me. I really was scared, Discord. My talent, my destiny had been changed with a single spell. Everything about me changed in a single moment and there was nothing I could do. Why would a pony’s spell do that? Why would a pony make a spell like that in the first place?
Discord, Chaos scares me. Please don’t scare me too.
Your friend,
Fluttershy.
PS: Angel has somehow gathered a militia of other bunnies and critters. Be prepared for acorn cannon fire.
“What? Twilight actually did something productive for once? Well, productive by my means…” Discord scratched his beard, removing from it a scroll of parchment and a pen. “Guess I can reassure her a bit. Poor thing is scared senseless.”
It’s here, it’s finally here! Fluttershy fluttered about in her cottage, holding her letter in glee. Ditzy had finally arrived with Discord’s response, having become the official royal mailmare of Equestria. Her boss, unsurprisingly, had been more than happy to give her up for service to Discord’s mail call. Apparently there had been a magical explosion of chaos the last time they exchanged letters, so even Ditzy was more than happy to have a change in scenery.
Good timing too, considering Princess Celestia had made summons for Fluttershy and her friends to travel to the Crystal Empire. Their journey would give more than enough time for Fluttershy to read and write back to Discord. It would also give her an excuse to shy away from the more intimidating ponies and excuse herself from any awkward moments.
Happily flying about, Fluttershy soared to her bed and flopped down. She tore open the letter in glee and slipped the parchment out. Once comfortable, she sat on her haunches and wrapped her tail around herself before reading.
Dear Fluttershy,
Yes, I did hear about the grand news of Twilight’s princessification… alicornation… coronation… whatever it’s supposed to be called. I couldn’t sleep with all that racket going on! It seems like we get another alicorn popping up every week, so what’s the big deal about it? Did I get a special coronation or crown when I appeared, the only draconequus in existence? Noooo, not even a party. It’s tough sometimes being the only one of your kind, Fluttershy. Though it does make family reunions all the easier to deal with.
As for Twilight, she isn’t too much of a bother. Sure, her head could get big sometimes (I’m talking smart and nerdy in this sense), and I imagine it will get even bigger with that crown resting on top of it (okay, now I’m just talking about egos). The cruel corruption of power can entrap even the most pure among us, Fluttershy. Though I do imagine Twilight to be more interested in reading books than taking over the world. Heck, I don’t think even she has a scroll that big for a checklist for such an undertaking.
Oh, funny story is, me and Twilight had a recent encounter during her coronation princess thingy. Poor thing nearly took a tumble after flying off a cliff… when she didn’t even know how to fly. Luckily, I was just passing by and happened to save her from near fatal injury! After safely depositing her in that bird bath in the castle gardens, I can assure you that we’re just great friends! Also, you were right, alicorn wings are like birds more than pegasi wings are. Though she wasn’t too keen to that bird bath, so I don’t know how deep the differences lie.
Conveniently changing topics now, I must admit I too have always dreamed of becoming a princess. Imagine that, Princess Discord, ruling over Equestria with an iron fist/claw/paw/talon! Of course, I could only contend with the less befitting titles of tyrant, dictator, mad king, eldritch abomination, and so on. Yet that dream to be a pretty pony princess lives on, in my heart, and lower intestines, and some parts of my colon. Though I can say without a doubt you would make a much better princess than Sunbutt, Moonbutt, or even Sparklebutt. You’d be Butterflybutt, which is a cooler sounding name overall, don’t you think? And besides, girl, you don’t need no stallion in your life to make you happy! You’re a strong, independent yellow pegasus living the way you want! Enjoy it while you can!
As for the switching destinies part, I really must say, a warm glow of pride heated in my heart (or was it my spleen?) when I heard that. Twilight managed to put Ponyville into chaos and everyone into disharmony, and I didn’t even have to lift a finger! I’m telling you, that pony is going places. So glad to see that chaos is still going on, even without me. And don’t you worry, destinies don’t matter in the long run. Your cutie mark doesn’t tell you who you are. Sure, you tried to pull off parties, but I bet you didn’t like it, right? That wasn’t who you were, and no changed cutie mark could make you into something you’re not. You’re Fluttershy, devout lover of animals and my friend. No mark on your hindquarters can change that, believe me.
In the end, don’t be scared, Fluttershy. Chaos is a beautiful, natural, and often times involving collateral damage type of event that is just a part of life. It could seem frightening sometimes, but chaos is nothing to fear in the long run. It’s meant to be fun!
Your totally amazing friend,
Discord.
PS: Tell Angel the treaty of the Lemon Tree is off. This means war.
PSS: Tell Rainbow Dash she’s dealing with the 3,445 consecutive winner of the Youth Underwater Basket Weaving Competition. This is an extremely high-stakes and difficult event. She better bring her A-game.
PSSS: I found those fashion magazines with you in them! Wait, why am I including that in this letter? Why am I writing my own thoughts? Why can’t I stop? Why do kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Fluttershy blushed as she reread the letters, her face turning a shade of pink as her tail subconsciously covered her flank. Nopony really paid any attention to her, so it was a surprise for somepony to call attention to her flanks. Especially a male in particular. It was one thing for a couple fillies searching for their destinies and asking a couple questions, but another to find out that a male had been eyeing her on the side. Sure, the marks on their flanks were there for a reason, but it was unsettling to have it called to attention by one of the opposite sex.
Not to mention somewhat exciting.
Covering her face in her hooves, Fluttershy squeaked and rolled on the bed. Why did I have to tell him I was a model? What if he sees me! Her thoughts raced at each possibility. What if he didn’t like my mane in that one shoot? What if he finds the dress TOO proper?
Fluttershy’s chest rose and fell as she laid on her back, pondering about Discord. It was true, every word he wrote was true. Her animals, nature, and even the nature of her friendships was proof that chaos wasn’t inherently evil. It was calming, understanding that she was still Fluttershy no matter the cutie mark she was branded with. It was just like when she was a filly; she’d find out the truth and her true destiny eventually.
She rolled onto the side and wondered more about the draconequus. Sure, he didn’t speak about it too much, but he certainly paid more attention to her appearance than she thought. Am I overthinking it? Or is he… flirting with me? Fluttershy gasped and threw her head on the pillow. Without a care in the world she began to scream, screaming right into her pillow. Why me? Rarity would know what to do! Fluttershy sighed and pulled herself off the pillow, thinking back to all her spa visit. Flirting… is just natural. Ponies do it all the time, romance or not. Rarity does it to get stallions to move about for her and it doesn’t mean anything. Discord doesn’t LIKE me, right?
Fluttershy turned to her waiting parchment and quill. She had been thinking about dating for awhile, since even Twilight had mentioned a rather nice stallion. Rarity, Twilight, and eventually all her friends would find romance. It was a part of a pony’s life.
I think a better question is—Fluttershy thought to herself, silently forcing herself to be honest—if I like him. He’s a gentlecolt, friendly, and kind. He understands me, as I understand him. Even now, in these letters, he doesn’t nothing but tell the truth and try to help and be understanding.
Fluttershy bit the quill, nearly cracking the feather. Perhaps I should try Rarity’s advice for a change.
She began to write, one thought echoing in her mind.
“Discord, this is utterly ridiculous,” Celestia said to him.
Discord turned back to her, holding up his shield while his helmet nearly fell off his head. “I would have imagined safety would be more of a concern to you, Celestia. Seems I was mistaken.”
“It’s more of a concern when you don’t look like a dunce while doing it,” Celestia replied in her usual deadpan manner, which was reflected off of Discord like rain to an umbrella.
Discord looked out the window and pulled out his eye to englong it as a makeshift telescope. He was currently on the top floor in the highest tower in Canterlot castle, a place seldom used or used for such zanny shenanigans someone like Discord would pull. Leaning out the window slightly, he focused his sight on the lone mailbox near the castle gates.
“Is the spotlight really necessary?” Celestia asked him, the lone mailbox the only lit area of the castle in the gloom of the early morning light.
“So are this armor and shield, but you don’t see me complaining,” Discord answered, squinting to get a better view of the mailbox. Sticking his tongue of the side of his mouth slightly, he gripped his shield tighter.
“That’s because you decided to do this yourself. For whatever reason, I still don’t have a clue.”
“The mailmare,” Discord said.
Celestia arched a brow. “Yes, what about her?”
“She always seems to fall on my face.” Discord lifted up his helmet and pointed to his muzzle. “I just can’t these goods damaged on a daily business! I have a reputation to keep!”
“A reputation for what?” Celestia asked with mild amusement.
“Why, as Equestria’s handsomest bachelor,” Discord said, smoothing out his mane.
“Wow, you’ve gone even more off the deep end than usual,” Celestia joked. “Is it because Fluttershy hasn’t sent you a letter in such a long time?”
“No, it’s been four… three if you don’t count the day I spent writing her the letter,” Discord replied back nervously. He scratched the back of his neck and kicked his feet slightly on the ground. “N-not that I was counting or anything.”
“Sure you weren’t,” Celestia agreed, taking a peek over Discord’s shoulder. “Ooh, and I do believe the mail has arrived.”
“It has?” Discord called out, turning around just as Ditzy smacked right into his face.
“Hey there, Princess Celestia!” Ditzy waved to Celestia, sitting square on Discord’s face in the usual fashion.
“Pleased to meet you, Ditzy,” Celestia responded, giggling as Discord struggled to get out from the entrapment of Ditzy’s rear squishing his cheeks. “I see you have the mail?”
“Yeppers! I brought it all the way up here so you guys didn’t have to make a trip!” Ditzy hopped off Discord and opened his mouth, sticking his mail on his tongue. “Here you go!”
“How pleasant,” Discord spit out, along with the letter. While Celestia and Ditzy shared laughs, Discord rolled his eyes and opened his letter, humming under his breath as he read.
Dear the kind and sensitive Discord,
Thank you, I never thought about it like that. Chaos IS a natural part of life, isn’t it? My little critters showed me the way after a little accident. One of Angel’s… concoctions exploded on my little bear, turning his fur coat blue! Wait, no, it was cerulean (Rarity said so). I was about to leave and ask Twilight for help, but then the rest of my animals came to his rescue! Using their teeth and claws, they groomed and groomed my little cubbie until his fur was all clean! Of course, I had to brush their teeth afterwards, but I was saved a trip and my animals became even closer friends! Chaos is what brings ponies together as well as harmony! Without chaos, we can’t grow and learn! Without chaos, ponies would just keep to themselves! Without chaos… I would have never met my friends. I would have never met you.
Speaking of Twilight, she went on a strange journey the other day. For four, stressful days, she traveled through a magic mirror after somepony stole her crown in the dead of the night. She won’t tell us anything more about her journey except that Sunset Shimmer (the thief), was “in good hands” and on her way to reformation. I’m certainly glad that Twilight is okay, but I can’t help but wonder: What’s a hand? Oh, and about that bird bath. Between you and me, we pegasi in Ponyville had been trying to write up a petition for a large birdbath to be built on top of the clocktower. We hate to admit it, but it isn’t really for the birds. As long as nopony saw us during scheduled storms, we planned to have our own baths above the cloud layer.
No matter, everytime I see Twilight wear her crown (Rarely now, thank goodness. Even I think it looks tack—um, uncomfortable on Twilight’s humble head) I think of you prancing around as a princess. Princess Discord eating dinner with the meanie nobies, Princess Discord saving Equestria from the latest threat, Princess Discord waving his/her tail at Cadence and singing about ladybugs. Quite the amusing thought, I’d say. Rainbow Dash asked me several times if I was feeling well, considering that I had randomly burst into laughter whenever I was alone. You constant comments about butts has rubbed off on me, I admit. Just the other day I accidentally called Applejack ‘Applebutt’ and had to apologize profusely. Nopony expected it, and I cowered like I always do. She didn’t mind, of course, but that was so embarrassing!
And maybe you wouldn’t be so obsessed with those names if you stopped staring at them every once in awhile, you cheeky little draconequus. Don’t think I don’t notice… Chaosbutt.
Oh, and I must ask, I’d really appreciate a visit sometime. The cottage is getting lonely as of late with the critters preparing for war. I have no idea what the treaty meant, but the treaty’s dissolvement somehow convinced a few timberwolves to join the cause. Usually they scare the living feathers out of me, but these ones seem kind and friendly. Oh, and they have strange magic as well. Be prepared Discord, if you dare engage these poor critters. I shall wave my handkerchief (like a pretty princess!) and cheer for you, but be prepared. Angel… is not a bunny you want to cross.
With love,
Your friend Fluttershy.
PS: I don’t know why, but Rainbow Dash laughed when I told her your claim. Something about high-intensity sports versus girly pastimes. It was rather rude and I scolded her, but I couldn’t help but feel as if I’m missing something.
PSS: Oh, and I baked cookies and sent you some. I hope you enjoy them, they’re what mother used to make me when I was a filly.
Discord scanned the last part several times. “Wait, cookies? I don’t see any—”
“Oh, I nearly forgot!” Ditzy said, digging into her saddlebag and withdrawing a heaping plate of fresh cookies from within. “Cookies were included in the mail as well.”
Discord quickly snatched one of the chocolatey treats with his tail, munching on it as he cracked his knuckles. “Mmmm, I have to visit more often,” Discord reflected, smacking his lips as his snake-like tongue slid all along his mouth and lips. Snapping his fingers, a new sheet of paper appeared out of existence along with an inkwell. Dipping his lion’s claw into the ink, Discord set out writing his reply letter.
“You know, it really isn’t any trouble for you to visit Ponyville whenever you want,” Celestia said.
“Oh, I know,” Discord replied, dipping his claw once more into the ink as a devious smile split open his lips. “But sometimes trouble is all the excuse you need for a visit.”
“Hand me that egg beater, if you don’t mind,” Fluttershy sang as she reached out. Ditzy, with practiced precision required with her special, special eyes, deftly decked her in the forehead.
Ditzy blinked before scrunching her muzzle. “I-I’m sorry, Fluttershy! I didn’t mean to hit you—”
“Ditzy,” Fluttershy interrupted, “It’s fine. See?” She turned her head and ran her hoof through her mane, revealing a fading red mark. No obvious damage, apparently. Ditzy’s breathing slowed as Fluttershy beamed, happy to see the mailmare despite any and all cranial injury.
Sniffing, Ditzy reached into her mailbag and retrieved a letter. Her foreleg shaking in exaggerated somber, she gifted Fluttershy with the week’s delivery. “I-I’m sorry.”
“Ditzy, it’s oka—”
“I’M SORRY!” Ditzy shrieked, thrusting her wings out and jolting outside.
Fluttershy shrugged, opening the letter as she stepped away from her workspace. She had time to read at the very least. A few of her critters scurried about, obviously absorbed in their latest, devious activities. Something that Fluttershy neither cared nor worried about.
Moving her lips to silently read, Fluttershy scoured through the letter.
Dear the immaculate and valiant Fluttershy,
Glad to see you’ve come to see the brighter side of things about chaos. At least that saved me the trouble of making a documentary about it. Ugh, using diagrams and pie charts is really not my style. Unless those pie charts are blueberry. Ooh, and maybe poisonberry too… although I do hope it’s name isn’t literal.
Anyway, back to more pressing matters. Those matters being butts, of course. I am also glad to see you accepting my viewpoint on life and noticing with earnest interest the phenomenon known as butts. While I could go to great lengths on this subject, unfortunately my hand is tied to that pesky e-rating this letter is forced to bear. But just remember… butts.
Oh, and I just wanted to mention, I think a visit to Ponyville would be a marvelous idea. Say hello to some old acquaintances, go sightseeing, battle against Angel and his band of furred beasts, and maybe enjoy a cup of tea with you. But alas, it seems I have some business to attend to. Oh, but don’t worry your sweet little head, Fluttershy. Once I’m done with this pesky little errand, I can guarantee we’ll be seeing one another real soon.
Forever yours,
Discord
PS: Those cookies were simply marvelous. Try to remember any cupcake recipes your mom made as well if you have the chance.
Fluttershy hummed as she finished the letter, returning to her kitchen to bake a new batch of cookies. Giggling every now and then like a schoolfilly, thinking about his jokes, she whipped the dough in the bowl. A few chips there, some hay there, and only a touch of poison joke for the draconequus’s taste. A marvelous addition Fluttershy had found.
She opened an eye and peeked to the side as she battered the butter, eyeing a few gathering critters. Angel, now donning a customized coconut shell helmet and acorn shoulder guards, began instructing the woodland critters. From what she could understand, they were going over battle plans. Oh Angel, you have no idea what you’re up against, Fluttershy thought with a roll of her eyes. Then again, neither do you, Discord.
Carefully, she cut the dough into proper-sized rolls and placed them on the baking sheet. The oven was currently heating up, leaving her an extra five minutes to rest. With nothing better to do, Fluttershy began to search for a quill.
She passed by her bear, currently sharpening bamboo sticks for some particular reason. A single bat flew about, carrying nuts with… something protruding from within. Even a few chipmunks had modified toothpaste tubes, armed with nuts and pebbles. All that Fluttershy turned a blind eye to, her thoughts consumed by her friend.
Once she made it to her bed, she flopped down and reached for her quill and some parchment. Wrapping her tail around her haunches out of habit, she began to think of a response. Strangely enough, her mind drifted to Twilight’s lecture on cutie marks and breeding behaviors; a conversation they swore to never have again. Discord wouldn’t care, would he?
She shook her head, dispelling all negative thoughts. Rarity had told her over and over again that she was a strong, beautiful mare. Even if she didn’t believe her, Fluttershy was going to try for an air of confidence. Nodding in determination, Fluttershy bit her quill and lowered it to the parchment and began to write.
Dear Discord,
I think it would be lo~
Fluttershy’s quill jerked as a tremor rocked through her cottage. Panicked animals squeaks echoed throughout her home as she shot up from bed and into the air. Fluttering to her front door, Fluttershy took a peek outside.
Nothing.
Sighing in relief, Fluttershy shut the door and sat down. The train trip earlier that day had exhausted her, and nature’s disasters were the last thing she wanted. “Oh Fluttershy,” she said, blowing a lock of hair out of her eyes, “what did you expect? The Everfree Forest?”
Even she couldn’t help but shudder at the thought.
