Missing Muffins
Lyra has had some crazy ideas over the years. To Bonbon, this one took the cake. The teal mare stood, forehooves in the air and an ear-to-ear grin, showing off the large sign on the front of a newly purchased office.
“Lyra and Bonbon Private Investigators” Bonbon read aloud, mouth slightly agape. Lyra stood still as a statue as she awaited the praise for her amazing idea.
“Lyra…” Bonbon started. “What gave you this idea?”
Lyra dropped back to all four hooves, still smiling like a madmare. “I came up with it last night. Don’t know what brought it on.”
Bonbon eyed her friend suspiciously. “You were reading those Sherclop Holmes books weren’t you?”
“No!”
“Lyra…”
“Yes…”
“Lyra,” Bonbon sighed, “first of all, Sherclop is a sociopath, why would you want to be like him? Second, there are never any crimes in Ponyville. How do you plan on making any money off this?”
As she spoke, a thought occurred to Bonbon. Lyra didn’t make a lot of money when she… Bonbon didn’t actually know what Lyra did for a living, but she knew that Lyra never had much money and that she ended up paying for everything when they went out.
“Lyra, how did you pay for this?”
Lyra’s teal face turned a noticeable shade of red. She clapped her hooves together nervously. “I may or may not have borrowed it.”
“From who?”
Lyra mumbled, “From you.”
“WHAT!?”
Lyra waved her hooves around trying to stop Bonbon before she went into a blind rage. “WAIT WAIT WAIT! Don’t worry, it’s rent-controlled!”
Bonbon took a few deep breaths and rubbed the sides of her head. She was used to Lyra doing stupid things, but she had never done something this stupid.
“Listen.” Lyra started again. “It’s not that bad. I already have a case. We’ll pay this off in no time.”
Bonbons eyes popped open. “What? How do you already have a case? You said that you just thought this up last night.”
Lyra glowed with excitement. “Come on, our client is waiting for us at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Well… I suppose if I’m the one paying for this I might as well see this ONE CASE through.” She emphasised one case, but the implication was lost on Lyra.
It was a bright sunny day at Sweet Apple Acres. The scent of apples filled the air and rows of apple trees covered the land as far as one could see. In fact, the only one not enjoying the amazing weather was Big Macintosh, who was frantically turning over every object he could find.
“Hey there, Big Mac!” Bonbon greeted as they arrived on the scene. “You okay?”
The large stallion spun on his hooves to face them. “Lyra! Bonbon! Thank celestia you’ve arrived!” His nervous bellows were uncharacteristic of the usually stoic pony.
“What can we do for ya, Mac?” Lyra said with the smile she had yet to drop since this morning.
“It’s horrible, awful, unthinkable! I can’t believe somepony would do this to this to another pony!” the frantic stallion babbled.
“Big Mac...” Bonbon tried to interrupt.
“The thought of it makes me sick! Who could be so evil!”
“Big Mac.”
“I can’t even comprehend doing that to someone. Whoever did this must be brought to justi-”
*WHAP!* Bonbon firmly smacked Big Mac across the face.
“Big Mac, calm down and tell us what happened.”
The red stallion rubbed his now even more red than before cheek. “Okay, you didn’t have to slap me.”
“Yes, I did,” Bonbon retorted.
Big Macintosh took a deep breath and started, “Somepony stole the muffins Applejack made for me this morning.”
Bonbon deadpanned. “Seriously?… Lyra, you are going to pay back every cent of the money you took from me,” she said and turned to leave.
Lyra jumped in front of Bonbon “Come on, Bonbon! Just give it a chance. I promise that things will get more exciting, but we have to start somewhere, right? Besides, look at him. He’s decimated by the loss of his muffins.”
Bonbon looked sideways to Macintosh, currently holding back tears, then back to her grinning friend. “Ugh… fine,” she groaned.
Lyra jumped with excitement. “YES! Big Mac, we’ll take the case!”
“Thank you so much...” Big Mac sniffed.
Lyra turned and started to leave the farm. “Lyra what are you doing? Shouldn’t we be looking around here for clues or something?”
Lyra simply shook her head. “Nope, I know exactly who took Big Mac’s muffins! Come on Bonbon we have investigating to do.”
“Okay then, “ Bonbon shrugged. “We’ll be back soon, Big Mac.”
* * *
A single light swung rhythmically back and forth, suspended by a wire from the ceiling of the dark room. The walls were a cold grey metal. In the center of the room was a table and a couple of chairs. On one side of the table, Lyra and Bonbon. On the other side was a very scared and confused Derpy Hooves.
No one said a word. Lyra glared at Derpy; she fidgeted nervously. Her attention was split between the teal mare staring her down and the calm cream-colored mare sitting in the corner watching.
“I already told you-” *CRACK!*
Lyra’s hoof slammed into the table. “-We know it was you, Hooves! Confess and maybe your sentence won’t be so harsh!”
Bonbon stood up and gently pushed Lyra out of the way. She calmly took a chair across from the confused Derpy. “Do you know why we brought you here Derpy?”
“No! I was just-”
“Come on, neither of us want to play this game.” Bonbon crossed her legs and tried to put on a friendly face. “We’re offering you a deal here. Confess that you stole the muffins and you're looking at two years, three at most.”
“Wha-What? Three years in jail for stealing muffins?”
*CRACK!* “YOUR LUCKY WE DON’T HAVE YOU BANISHED TO THE MOON FOR THIS, HOOVES!” Lyra wasn’t sure the good cop/bad cop routine was actually working, but she was confident that her abilities as a completely unlicensed private detective would break Derpy.
“Lyra please.” Bonbon gestured back to the corner. Lyra kept her gaze locked on Derpy as she returned to her post.
Bonbon returned her focus to Derpy. “At noon today somepony stole muffins that belonged to Big Macintosh. Are you trying to tell us that you, the most muffin-crazed pony in town, had nothing to do with it?”
Derpy shook her hoof-cuffs. “How many times do I have to tell you? I was at home all morning. I didn’t go anywhere near Sweet Apple Acres!.”
The door swung open violently. “What is going on here!?” In the doorway was a brown stallion.
“Oh… Hey, Time Turner.” Bonbon started to explain, “We were just asking Derpy here some questions and-”
“SHES A THIEF AND A LIAR!” Lyra shouted, ruining any chance of explaining the situation.
Time Turner grabbed the cuff keys from Lyra and released Derpy’s restraints. “You’re lucky that I don’t call the guards on you!” he said as he escorted the terrified Derpy out of the building.
“Well that was a bust…” Bonbon said as she leaned back in her chair.
Lyra and Bonbon returned to the main floor of their office. This was the first time that Bonbon could actually take time to look around at the office Lyra had brought with her money. The main room consisted of a desk to meet with clients, a wireframe trashcan and a comfortable couch. There was the large window that the desk was situated in front of. The walls were a simple beige.
“You know, Lyra,” Bonbon started. “It’s a little under decorated, but I actually really like this office... One question though: What’s with the interrogation room downstairs? Couldn’t we just do that in here?”
Lyra shrugged. “I thought having a dark and scary basement for interrogating suspects would be a nice touch. There might be some legal issues, but we can deal with those when they come.”
Bonbon’s shoulders sank. “Oh, of course.” With a quick shake of her head she refocused herself.
Lyra sighed. “Well, I guess we should probably go back to Big Mac and tell him we didn’t find the culprit.”
“Giving up already?”
“You’re right! We can’t give up yet!” Lyra shouted throwing a hoof into the air. “We’ll go back to Sweet Apple Acres and investigate further!”
“I didn’t say anything like that…”
The two left the dark basement of their office, no closer to finding the perpetrator of this most heinous of crimes. It was nearly two o’clock by the time their interrogation was interrupted by Time Turner; both Lyra and Bonbon were growing tired of investigating.
Bonbon walked with her eyes lazily cast down, so it was Lyra who spotted a crowd gathered outside of Carrot Top’s cottage.
“Please, everypony stay calm,” Mayor Mare’s voice called out to the onlookers. “The royal guard has been alerted. This will all be dealt with soon.”
Lyra pushed her way through the crowd, Bonbon close behind. Laying in the garden was Carrot Top, a pool of blood surrounding her.
“Everypony go back to your homes! We will find who did this,” the Mayor said; the uncertainty in her voice was obvious to everyone.
The crowd slowly dispersed. Lyra looked at the crime scene with a twinkle in her eye.
“No,” Bonbon said, noticing the look of excitement. “Lyra this isn’t just some stolen muffins. She’s dead. This is a job for the royal guards.”
“Mayor Mare!” called Lyra.
Mayor Mare nearly fell backwards as Lyra bounded up to her. “Lyra? What are doing? I said everypony should go home.”
Lyra swung her hoof up in a salute. “Never fear, Mayor Mare! Lyra and Bonbon: Private Investigators are on the case!”
“Don’t listen to her, Mayor. We’ll just be going now.” Bonbon tried to push Lyra into walking away put she stood firm, still holding her salute.
“Private investigators? How long have you two been private investors?” asked Mayor Mare
“A little over an hour,” Lyra said proudly. “We’ll have this case solved in no time Mayor.”
Mayor Mare looked uneasily at Lyra and Bonbon. “Do you really think you can find whoever did this?” she asked, biting her lip.
“No,” Bonbon answered.
“Yes!” Exclaimed Lyra, completely drowning out Bonbon.
Mayor Mare shifted nervously. “Okay, you’re hired. I’m counting on you two.”
Bonbon fell back on her haunches and her mouth hung open. The Mayor trotted off back to city hall. Lyra was bouncing with excitement.
“I can’t believe you just did that…” Bonbon said, completely dumbfounded that the Mayor would even consider hiring them to investigate.
“Come on, Bonbon! We have investigating to do!” Lyra said, turning her attention to the scene around them.
Bonbon shook her head and tried to get her senses back.
The two looked down at the crime scene. Carrot Top laid, eyes wide, in a pool of blood in her garden.
“Hey look at this,” Lyra said, picking up a bloody gardening spade. “The murder weapon!” She exclaimed, swinging the spade into the air.
“Be careful with that!” Bonbon scolded. “We don’t want to damage evidence…” Bonbon looked over the body. “No bruises, and there’s no other signs of a struggle,” she thought aloud. “My guess would be she didn’t see whoever it was coming.”
Lyra scanned the surrounding area closely, her muzzle inches from the ground. Her eyes lit up as she spotted a vital clue. “Bonbon look! Muffin crumbs!”
Bonbon looked up at her friend. “So? They’re just crumbs. It’s not like muffins are rare around here.”
Lyra hoisted Bonbon onto her hind legs by her forehooves as Lyra pulled her face-to-face. Lyra’s grin had returned full force. “Don’t you see? I know who the murderer is!”
Bonbon just stared blankly. “What?”
“Big Macintosh! He found out that Carrot Top took his muffins and sought his revenge!” Lyra announced, narrowing her eyes and deepening her voice on the final word.
Bonbon thought it through. While Big Mac was frantic and scared, she wasn’t convinced that he would kill over some muffins. Then again, she had never heard of a murder occurring before, at least in ponyville, so maybe Lyra was onto something. “I think we need more information before we go around accusing ponies.”
Lyra dropped her friend. “Hmm, maybe you're right. We should ask around.”
Bonbon scratched her chin. “Lily lives across the street. She has a full view of the garden from her house. She might have seen something.”
* * *
“Lyra, Bonbon, what are you doing here? Mayor Mare told everyone to go home.” Lily was visibly shaken at the news of the murder.
“We’re looking into Carrot Top’s murder,” Bonbon explained. “Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?”
Lily hesitated for a moment then said, “No, not at all. Come on in.”
The three gathered in Lily’s front room. Lily made tea for the three of them. Lyra downed her’s quickly so she could focus on questioning.
“Did you know Carrot Top well?” Lyra asked, showing surprising restraint. Bonbon was expecting her to blurt out something like ‘Who's the killer?’
Lily nodded. “Yeah, I’ve lived across the street from her for years. I can’t imagine who would do this to her...”
Bonbon took a sip of her tea before setting it down. “Do you remember seeing anyone talking to Carrot Top earlier? Maybe someone strange came by.”
“I’m not sure,” Lily wracked her mind to remember everything she had done that day. “The only ponies I remember seeing go by were Big Macintosh and AppleBloom.”
The two investigators’ eyes met. Bonbon could see a twinkle in Lyra’s. “Do you remember what time you saw them?”
“It couldn’t have been more than a hour ago. It looked like they were taking some apples to market.”
“Thank you, Lily. I think that’s everything we needed,” Lyra said as she stood up. “Bonbon, let’s return to base to look over the evidence we’ve gathered!” Again, Bonbon was surprised by Lyra’s self-restraint.
Lyra and Bonbon left Lily’s cottage and returned to their office. Lyra sat behind the desk and looked over her notes while Bonbon relaxed on the couch. The bell on the door jingled as someone entered. Lyra jumped out of her seat behind the desk to greet them.
“Oh thank goodness you’re here,” sighed the Mayor. “The coroner has finished examining the body. He wants you two to come take a look.”
Bonbon cocked an eye at the Mayor. “Ponyville has a coroner?”
* * *
The coroner was a brown unicorn with a shaved mane. He wore a white labcoat and a surgical mask. “Ah good, you're here,” He said as the three entered.
“These are the two that are investigating the murder: Lyra and Bonbon,” the Mayor gestured to each.
“Dr.Stiff,” the coroner introduced himself. “Let’s get right to it, shall we?”
Dr.Stiff lead them into the basement of the Ponyville hospital. In the middle of the morgue was a table; a large, pony-shaped mass lay under a sheet. “Here we are,” he said as he pulled the covering off of Carrot Top’s corpse.
“Poor Carrot Top,” breathed Mayor Mare.
“Cause of death is pretty straight forward: Massive blood loss due to a puncture wound in the neck,” Dr.Stiff pointed at the large cut as he spoke. “The external jugular and maxillary veins were severed; she would have bleed out within seconds. My guess is that the murder weapon would have been a large knife. I’d put the time of death at about 1:30 p.m.”
Bonbon straightened up. “Wait, what do you mean your guess? We found a murder weapon on the scene.”
Dr. Stiff looked surprised at the news. “The guards said that they couldn’t find a murder weapon.”
“But we found a spade covered in blood just a few feet away from her,” explained Lyra.
“You did put it back...” Bonbon stared daggers at Lyra.
“What? You think I would do something as stupid as tamper with a crime scene?”
Bonbon gave her an incredulous look.
“Fair enough. But no; I examined it and put it right back where I found it.”
Bonbon scratched her chin. “That means whoever killed her must have come back to retrieve their weapon sometime between when we were at the scene and when the guards arrived.”
“It probably had their hoof prints all over it,” Lyra interjected.
Dr.Stiff cleared his throat, grabbing their attentions again. “There was one more thing I found that was strange.” He turned and levitated some tweezers over to a small container. He pulled out a hair. “I found a red hair stuck to her fur. It doesn’t match her mane color, so it must be somepony else’s. There were also some muffin crumbs but I didn’t think you would actually care to see those.”
Bonbon met eyes with Lyra again. “Lyra, do you know what this means?”
“Yes,” Lyra declared proudly, “she DID steal the muffins!”
Bonbon’s hoof met her face. “No, no, I think it mean’s that Big Mac did actually kill her.”
“Big Mac?” gasped Mayor Mare. “You don’t seriously think he would do this, do you?”
Bonbon sighed, “It’s starting to look that way. We want to keep looking into it before we make our call though.”
The Mayor nodded. “Okay... I just don’t see a buck as nice as Big Mac being capable of something like… this.”
“It would be hard to imagine anypony could do this,” Bonbon reasoned.
“Let’s get back out there,” Lyra said.
Lyra paused once they were outside the hospital. “Do you really think Big Mac did it?” asked Lyra
“The hair and muffin crumbs point to him. He was also seen in the area near the time of death. I’m having a hard time thinking who else it could be at this point,” Bonbon explained.
“So you think my muffin theory is right?” A grin quickly found its way onto Lyra’s face.
Bonbon sighed. “As ridiculous as it sounds, that’s about all we have to go on. I just don’t get it. Why kill somepony over muffins? There must be another motivation. I’m not sure where we go from here though.”
“I have an idea,” Lyra said, “but it’s not going to be pretty.”
* * *
“Come on, Derpy! We’re sorry about earlier, but really need to ask you a few questions,” Bonbon called from outside the locked door.
There was no answer from behind the door.
“Please Derpy. You knew Carrot Top better than anyone. We need your help,” Lyra added
Again there was no answer.
“I guess she doesn’t want to talk to us,” sighed Bonbon. “Come on, let’s go.”
The two turned to return to the office when the door opened ajar. One of Derpy’s eyes could be seen in the small crack. It was reddened and tears gathered at the bottom. “Apologize,” she said from behind the door. Her voice was strained.
“We’re sor-” Bonbon started
“Not you.” Derpy pointed to Lyra. “Her.”
Lyra looked around confused. “Why me?”
Bonbon stared daggers at her. “Lyra.”
“Okay,” Lyra said before clearing her throat. “I’m sorry Derpy…”
Derpy stared at the two for a moment before she opened the door for them. “Okay,” Derpy said as she turned and walked back into the house. She lead them into her living room. “What do you want?”
Lyra and Bonbon took a seat on the couch across from her. “We wanted to ask you about Carrot Top,” Bonbon started.
“O-okay.” A lump caught in her throat.
“Did Carrot Top have any enemies?” asked Lyra.
Derpy wiped some tears from her eyes. “No, not that I know of.”
“No one she might have crossed recently?” continued Lyra.
“No, Carrot Top was nice to everypony.” Derpy paused for a moment. “Well, she did say something about taking a lot of business away from the Apples. So, they might have been angry with her.”
Neither Lyra nor Bonbon had any doubt about the perpetrator at this point. Bonbon began to stand and opened her mouth to thank Derpy, but Lyra had one more question.
“Carrot Top didn’t tell you anything about stealing muffins before she died did she?”
Bonbon groaned into her hooves.
“Get out.” Derpy pointed to the door.
Bonbon quickly grabbed Lyra and drug her out of the home. She was afraid that if they stayed any longer there might have been a second murder today. The two convened once they were outside and a few houses down.
“Well, I think that said it all,” Bonbon thought aloud.
Lyra nodded “Big Mac must have been mad about the lost sales and stealing the muffins was the last straw. It’s time to bring him in!” she shouted, throwing a hoof into the air.
“I agree, let’s go,” Bonbon said and the two left for Sweet Apple Acres.
* * *
The farm was quiet as the two strode in. There was no signs that anyone was even home. Lyra knocked on the door to the farmhouse and received no answer.
“I don’t think anyone’s home,” Bonbon said as she looked into one of the windows.
“Maybe he’s hiding or maybe he knows we’re onto him so he skipped town,” Lyra said and pointed to Bonbon for confirmation.
“Or maybe he’s just not home right now.” Bonbon looked out at the empty farm. “Maybe we should take a look arou- Lyra, what are you doing?”
Lyra was staring intently at something on the ground. “Shh!” she pulled out a magnifying glass out of seemingly nowhere and studied the ground. “Bonbon look!” she shouted. “Muffin crumbs! Looks like a trail of them.”
Bonbon groaned. “Lyra, the muffins aren’t important anymore. H-hey! where are you going?”
Lyra ignored her partner and followed the trail of crumbs. With an annoyed sigh, Bonbon followed after her.
The trail lead them around the farm, twisting through the fields of apple trees until they came to a clearing.
“A treehouse?” Bonbon remarked as they entered as they entered the clearing. In a large tree sat a fairly large tree house that had stairs that wound up the tree, leading to a lookout tower with a telescope sticking out.
“Look!” shouted Lyra. At the base of the tree was a muffin tray. She dashed over to the tree, but halted as she heard somepony on the other side of the tree.
“W-what are y’all doing here?” asked a panicked Applebloom.
Bonbon rushed over to her partner. “Applebloom? What are you doing all the way out here?”
“I live here! I should be asking you that!”
Bonbon noticed the filly nervously peeking behind herself. “What do you behind your back?”
Applebloom shook her head. “Nothing!”
To Bonbon, she couldn’t have been more transparent. Bonbon gave a slight nod to Lyra in Applebloom’s direction.
Lyra’s horn lit up and lifted the object out from behind the filly. Applebloom hung onto it for dear life and was lifted with it. With a quick shake from Lyra, Applebloom let go and fell to the ground. Lyra gave the object to Bonbon.
Bonbon was stunned by what she was given. She stared at a bloody spade. “Applebloom, why do you have this?”
“I- well,” Applebloom searched for some explanation.
“I get it now.” Announced Bonbon. “The evidence wasn’t pointing us to Big Mac. It was pointing us to you!”
“How could you steal muffins from your own brother!?” shouted Lyra.
Both Bonbon and Applebloom felt their hooves slap against their foreheads.
“Lyra, she killed Carrot Top,” Bonbon explained.
“Yeah! That too!” Lyra said pointing an accusatory hoof at the filly.
“You were seen at the crime scene just before it happened,” explained Bonbon. “Carrot Top didn’t struggle because who in their right mind would suspect a filly? The red hair found on the body was your’s, not your brothers’. But you made a mistake: You left the murder weapon behind!” Bonbon motioned to the spade in her hoof. “You went back for it, realizing that it would lead to you being caught!”
Bonbon sighed. “And no matter how ridiculous it is, the muffins were your biggest mistake. If Lyra wasn’t so obsessed with finding who stole the muffins we wouldn’t have followed the trail out here. Your brother would have taken the fall for the murder.”
Lyra slowly clapped her hooves. “Nice recap ,Bonbon.”
“But, theres one thing I don’t understand... Why?”
Applebloom dropped any semblance of innocence and stared with fire in her eyes at the investigators. “For the thrill,” She started before taking a deep sigh. “It all started with Big Mac’s muffins. I stole them, and it felt good. That rush... I needed more. So I stole that spade, but it wasn’t enough this time. I needed something more.”
“So you killed a pony?” Bonbon asked incredulously. “In the span of two hours you went from stealing muffins to killing someone? Thats a bit of a jump don’t you think?”
“It doesn’t matter now, Apple! You're going to jail for a very long time!” Lyra said before shutting hoofcuffs on Applebloom’s tiny hooves.
“You're joking…” Bonbon said as she stared at the filly. With a shimmer and some sparkles, a soft glow appeared on Applebloom’s flanks.
Applebloom looked behind her, confused, but then she saw what Bonbon had seen. On her flank was a brand new cutie mark: A grey brick wall with a barred window. The young fillies face lit up and she started to bounce around.
“I got my cutie mark!” she cried. She leapt with excitement, then slammed into the ground, forgetting that she was wearing hoof cuffs.
* * *
Lyra sighed, content as she hung the picture on the wall. She stepped back to examine the picture. A view of Sweet Apple Acres, the two detectives stood in front of the farm. Behind them two royal guards carried off a still smiling Applebloom. as the rest of the Apple family cried behind them.
“It’s a start.” Bonbon said looking at other walls of the office. They were all still void of any decoration.
“So…” Lyra started.
Bonbon nodded to her. “Okay, I admit. I had fun today.”
Lyra’s face lit up. “Does that mean?”
“Yes, we can keep it.”
“Yes!” Lyra jumped into the air, hoof pumping. “I knew you would come around! Lyra and Bonbon Private Investigators are open for business!”