> A diary
>  by loller brony
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Boondocks
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Boondocks

So what do you know about the boondocks? I bet you think it's just an unfriendly place where only poor ponies live. A place where Celestia's hoof never got to.

You're right. The boondocks are exactly like that. They're only suited for tough ponies, not for the average daisy-sandwich eaters. 

You may wonder what we call home. Some say home is where the heart is, and since the ponies living in the boondocks have no heart they are homeless. For us, a tin roof above our head is a house. Add a front porch and a gravel road and that's a proper home.

Sum all this up and you get a troublesome pony. One that has no respect for others, a pony that only lives to survive.

When somepony looks at us, they see nothing more than an animal. A beast. A creature that would look through the dirtiest trash bin only for it's next meal.

Well, now it's time for my story. 
You see, long ago, the train's passing at midnight used to sound like a lullaby. The dirty waters of the sewers used to be sweet as honey. My next meal used to be a cardboard sandwich or a banana peel. And yes, the tin above my head was definitely a blessing. 

My mother, may she rest in peace, tried to make life as easy as possible for me. Unfortunately, she had to do the same for 3 other ponies: my sister and my two brothers. 

I was the oldest of them all. With no father to run the family, i had to take care of my siblings.

That bastard ran away from his responsibilities when he found out the forth child was coming. Good for him, i think i would have done the same if i was in that situation. Let's face it, when life is miserable, another muzzle to feed doesn't make it much better. 

Anyway, dropping out of school wasn't that bad at all, mostly because i wasn't going to school. Who's going to run a school in the boondocks anyway, a seagull? Nopony with half a brain would venture only to teach somepony arround here something.

I didn't mind too much; i knew how to write, how to read and even basic mathematics; my mother made sure i did. I don't think she could have lived with the thought of raising a vegetable. She was proud of me... most of the time. 

You see, when you live in the boondocks, you have to do certain things to survive, and to clear any missunderstanding, saturday was five card poker night. A dangerous game to play, considering that the ponies you play against will cut your throat if you win too many rounds.

I was good at this game; i don't think i have ever lost a hoof, well not against my will at least. Gambling was a good source of income for my family; it definitely brought some food on the table from time to time and it definitely brought me my cuttie mark - an ace of hearts, an ace of spades and a dice with it's sixth side on top.

I never considered to be a professional gambler, even though it was meant for me, but i was glad i had a strong point in something that brought a lot of bits in a short ammount of time. It was reassuring to have a backup plan for when shit hits the fan.

My greatest accomplishment was saving money to buy my little sister the toy she wanted for christmas. Boy, that smile on her face... I couldn't have asked for more.

Strange is that i did not consider her my sister; she was more or less my foal. Being a cute little pegasus sure made her my favourite.

I tried to make her life bearable, even though that meant making my life harder. I've sent her to kindergarden and then supported her through school. 

Obviously, she had a pretty hard time there; being the poorest and/or being from the boondocks sure didn't get her a lot of friends. None in fact... or at least that's what i've been told. 

She eventually finished school and i found out she got herself a couple of "questionable" friends. And thus, my little sister became what i never managed to be: a resident of the boondocks... or more precisely a whore. Yes, all the female residents of the boondocks were whores and all the male residents were thieves; it takes brains to be a pimp you know. 

I've felt a bitter taste in my mouth when that happened... it felt like a backstab.
I tried to focus on making her life sweet... i ignored the cries for help of my other brothers... i guess i should have treated everypony equally. Spoiling my lil' sis sure brought no good.

I eventually forgot about her. Now i was alone. Being alone was easier to handle than having to take care of somepony, but it felt so different. It felt like if i ever failed, if i ever stumbled upon something greater than i could handle, i would be dead. There will be nopony there to catch me when i fall.

Luckily, i didn't fall... i actually flew.

A week since i've been living alone i found myself a job. 

I had to. I've been hired by a company that constructed buildings, mostly in ponyville. Being an earth pony meant that i could handle hard backbreaking work with ease... or so i thought.

It was definitely hard work. I had to carry a mountain from site A to site B. My body ached every second of the day, even on weekends when i could rest. 

Needless to say, one day i collapsed. The next, i found myself in a hospital.

I had never been inside a hospital before. In the boondocks, if you got sick, you either died or trew a party for not dying. Simple as that: the strongest survived and the weakest died in agony.

The first thing i noticed about the hospital was that it smelled strange. I couldn't care a lot about that though; my body was still in pain, but the painkillers sure helped.

A couple of days there cured me of any illness, ache or parasite i had, but i wasn't ready to go. I grew attached to the place... or to the cute nurse. I don't want to sound sappy, but i felt like we were meant for each other. Her name was Crystal Charm. She was fun, caring and above all cute. Too bad i was a homeless pony from the boondocks.

The day i had to leave the hospital soon came and i was ready to go. I would have stayed longer but i decided that deliberately breaking my hoof wasn't worth it.

I was heading for the exit of the hospital when i spotted a familiar face: the nurse i had a crush on. She came to me and said: "Leaving already?"

I simply nodded. "Yeah, i feel much better. No reason to stick arround."

I was a little bit shocked that she even noticed me leaving. I was the average pony. You don't notice the average pony.

"So what are you going to do next? I don't really recommend going back to that 'job' of yours, though it looks more like slavery to me... and i think they fired you too."

Great, now i was unemployed too. Go figure what's going to happen next - i'm going to become a thief (because let's face it, it's pretty hard to find a job out there and i don't really like to play card games anymore). 

Or so i thought, before i've heard Charm's next words: "Hey, i know you're from the boondocks. I figure you don't have a home either. If so, you're welcome to stay with me."

Ok, let's comprehend what she just said. Charm is offering to house me. Wouldn't you be concerned if somepony just came to you and said "Hey, i don't know anything about you, let's live together!" ?

My first thought was that she's involved in pony trafficking. But what did i have to lose? Worst case scenario - there would be one less scum in Equestria; who's gonna care?

So i said: "You've figured well, but what's in for you? There is no pony in this magical land so kind that he would ask for nothing in exchange to such an offer."

"You're right" - she said - "I was mostly giving you this opportunity because i felt bad for you, but i also thought that you might do some work arround the house."

"You want me to be your housemaid?" I said, a little surprised by the request.

"Well yeah, it's a pretty big house but nothing you can't handle. You'll have plenty of time for yourself."

I was thinking what was i going to do, now that i had a home. "I guess i'm not going to refuse such a kind offer."

Charm's face lid up; she was clearly happy of my decision. "Great, meet me here in 2 hours, that's when my shift ends."

So there i was wondering around in Canterlot killing seconds one by one. Who knew what the future had in mind for me, but one thing is certain: i've leveled up from worthless pony from the boondocks to worthless maid in Canterlot. Things were looking up for me.

Oh, by the way, i don't think i introduced myself. My name is Jet Whikers. Not a name to be proud of but i heard worse and i bet you did as well.