> Harpflank and Sweets: Simple is Best.
>  by Conner Cogwork
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Season 2 - Episode 34: Simple is Best.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


HARPFLANK AND SWEETS


By Arcainum. Fan-episode by Conner Cogwork.






The justice has been doubled! Though the world has been saved from Nightmare Moon, Metropony remains under threat. With the Empire gone, a new wave of super-criminals has emerged to fill the vacuum of power! How will the bastion of Harmony fare in an increasingly Chaotic world?! New friends, new enemies, and new adventures await those stalwart heroes named…







 

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 34- SIMPLE IS BEST









------------------------

 
"So... she's the last one, huh?"
 
"That's right." Vinyl replied, sliding the folder over to the wall-eyed pegasus. "This is the last of the reincarnated Elements of Harmony."
 
Commander Derpy squinted at the photo on the document before her, aligning her golden eyes. The photo was of a regular upstanding farmpony, a breed still present in Metropony City, though in small numbers. The mare looked to be a casual easygoing sort, a smattering of freckles upon her face accompanying her blonde mane and orange coat. Her cutiemark was a trio of apples. Rounding out this image was a proud Stetson hat perched upon her head. One that the commander couldn't help but notice.
 
"I feel like I've seen her before." she confided.
 
“That's because you have. Everypony has. At least, everypony who has apples on their breakfast table." Octavia replied, a hoof quickly going to her side to retrieve a juicebox. Emblazoned on the front was a picture of the same earth pony in the document, though here she wore a crowd-winning smile, as a banner below her face paraded the words 'Sweet Apple Acres 100% natural Apple Juice; Not from Concentrate.'
 
"Sweet Apple Acres..." Derpy whispered in awe. "One of the founding cornerstones of Metropony City, if I recall correctly?"

Vinyl nodded, kicking up her hooves. "It's been around for as long as the city has. Maybe even longer. The info we have from the princesses say that way-back-when, this filly was running the farm almost single-hoofedly. And now that she's back, it appears she's doing the exact same thing." She hefted a chuckle. "Guess it really does run in the family."
 
"So it seems." Octavia sighed, giving her coworker a glare at her hooves. "But yes. Everything matches up. She runs Sweet Apple Acres, just outside of Metropony City, and is in charge of all its major functions, financial, distributive, or otherwise. On top of that, she's entered the Iron Pony competitions multiple times, and owns at least five Iron Horseshoes. And that's not even getting into her rodeo career. She's a mare of many talents, Miss Applejack."
 
"Applejack..." the pegasus repeated the name to herself, before looking back up at the two technicians. "A high-profile businessmare with an impressive athletic career, and nopony's ever heard of her. You'd think somepony was playing some kind of game with us. At least this is the last one."
 
The other two mares fidgeted a little, looking back and forth at each other. A motion that caused the MARE commander to raise an eyebrow, though this didn't deter her from asking her last question.
 
"What's her element?"
 
The grey mare paused, before simply speaking. "You should know, chief. It matters the most to you."
 
She blinked. Looked back at the photo. Looked back at the ExTech ponies. Allowed her eyes to rotate in their sockets, before finally speaking. "You're saying her element... is mine?"
 
"Honesty, boss." Scratch nodded, leaning back in her seat. "Applejack is the Element of Honesty. The same element that you've got."
 
Silence descended in the office room. Derpy sat back in her chair with a heavy whumph, a few feathers coming loose and floating to the floor. The two mares bit their lips and looked at each other. It was Octavia who broke the silence.
 
"Sooooo, now knowing that, I guess the question is... what's the plan, commander?"
 
The grey pony sat there, unmoving, her eyes narrowed in thought, vision remaining perfectly still. She was in serious thought mode.
 
After a few uneasy seconds, she finally shrugged. "The same thing that always needs to be done." she spoke. "Recruit her into MARE, and soon. If she's as good at athletics as her record says, maybe she can be slotted into a partnership with Rainbow Dash, and work in tandem with Lyra and BonBon. It'd be nice to have two separate teams. We can cover more ground that way. Hmmm..."
 
The technicians visibly relaxed. Vinyl leaned forward, resting her forehooves on the large metal desk. "Alright, cool. Shall we call in the dynamic duo then? I can't help but think this girl'd give Lyra a real run for her money."
 
Derpy stood up from her desk and turned to a nearby pile of paper, hooves picking through the mess as she spoke. "No need. Just have them remain on standby while the procedure is undergoing. I'm going to need you two to keep ongoing surveillance on the operation at all times, in the case that something really bad DOES show up."
 
Confused looks were exchanged. "Uhm, okay then, boss." the white unicorn replied. "Who should we send out then? Not one of the new recruits, seriously? Dash, as I remember you saying, is still in basic, not to mention she isn't what I'd call the most tactful, and I don't think Rarity would exactly enjoy a trip to the countryside-"
 
"Oh no, of course not. They're all too green, still." the commander commented, before finally giving a noise of triumph and emerging from her pile with a small wicker basket. She placed it on the desk, and proceeded to line it with cloth as she continued talking. "Besides, there's really not much hope for an undercover mission to work with an individual like this. If she really IS a bearer of the Element of Honesty, then she'll see right through whatever cover we show up with. Better for me to give her the direct approach. Simple is Best, you know. Nice and friendly. Be level with her about MARE, and what it is that we do."
 
Octavia could swear she felt her heart skip a beat. "E-excuse me commander, but... did you just say, better for... you to..."
 
A single eye swiveled up to look at the earth pony, before she placed a muffin into the basket. "I didn't misspeak, Octavia. I'm hoping I make myself clear. I've spent way too long inside this stuffy office anyways."
 
"The best way for this mission to work, I feel, is if somepony as honest as Applejack herself does the recruitment. And so... I plan on tackling this particular mission, personally. Batten down the hatches while I'm gone girls, I'm going solo."


------------------------

 
"She's going WHAT?!"
 
BonBon looked to her side. "I think she said 'Solo'."
 
"I KNOW what she said!" Lyra exclaimed, her frustration unabated. "But, seriously?! This is the Commander we're talking about here! Founder and head of MARE! Hates paperwork and loves muffins! Hasn't been out of the office for nearly a year! And now she's going out on a mission? Solo?!”
 
“Hey hey, it's not exactly solo." Vinyl held her hooves up in a placating gesture. "We're going to be keeping an eye on her at all times. And we'll have rotating shifts of ponies being on the premises in case something happens. That's not to say that something WILL happen, but with our own current brand of luck..."
 
"Yeah, exactly!" the green unicorn braced her forelegs upon the table. "Derpy has her own brand of luck, you know, and it's not exactly the good kind. Couple that with a regular day out on the field? That's just ASKING for a disaster to happen!"
 
"Lyra, please!" Her teammate and friend placed a calming hoof upon her shoulder. "She's shown us that she's quite competent in the past. She founded and raised MARE from scratch after all. She's really no slouch when she puts her mind to a task."
 
"Yeah, no kidding." Vinyl leaned back in her seat once again. "You remember back with the whole Nightmare Moon thing? All that month-old paperwork she had lying around stood no chance against her!"

Octavia couldn't help but give her coworker another offended glare at her posture, but nevertheless nodded in agreement. "The Commander may have her eccentricies, but we should remember that for a pony like her, they're not a handicap, but a strength."
 
"And above all, we need to remember one thing." The cream-colored earth pony looked around at those seated, before speaking. "Derpy is our friend. We can trust in her to pull this off, the way she wants to."
 
The ExTech members nodded, as Lyra finally slumped in her seat. "Yeah... yeah, I guess so. The Chief hasn't really let us down yet..." It still didn't keep the resignation out of her voice as she asked "So... who's going to get first watch? Do we get to draw straws?"
 
"I think there's a more important question that needs to be answered first." Octavia spoke again, looking at everypony present. "With the Commander going out on the field... who's going to run MARE while she's gone?"
 
Stares all around.
 
"... she didn't assign anypony in particular?"
 
"Nope."
 
"... then... who's..."
 
Vinyl's smile was quite wide as she then said "Well... I can think of another use for those straws…”
 

------------------------

 
Among the bustling Metropony city streets, a single pony walked. She wore no markings, no uniform, or even any kind of mike in her ear. She was a normal grey pegasus, with a line of bubbles on her flank, a mane and tail of gold, and a basket full of muffins firmly in her smiling mouth. To any passerby on the street, she was simply another normal pony. Maybe a silly one, if they got a glimpse of her eyes.

BonBon watched that simple little pony like a hawk, as she made her way to the outer city limits. Derpy had insisted making the journey on hoof, and had declined any speedy transport the likes of which a MARE helicopter would have been able to provide. Nope, she wanted to do things the honest way. Which meant getting there yourself.
 
The superhero known as Sweets leapt to another rooftop, still on the trail of her commanding officer. Did she even know she was there? She had also insisted on not being planted with gear of any sort, and had left headquarters with nothing but the basket, twelve walnut and praline muffins, and a smile on her face. There was no way for her to check in with Celestia Towers, should something go wrong.
 
Which is why I'm here. BonBon thought to herself. Somehow I wonder if Lyra might not have been right. I hope you know what you're doing, Commander.
 

------------------------

 
A mission! A SOLO mission! A chance to get away from the evil and cloying menace that was typical office paperwork! Derpy could not recount another time she had felt so joyful. She practically skipped in her steps as she passed all sorts of bustling ponies, giving a happy smile to each one.
 
On one street corner, a small pipsqueak of a palomino colt was hawking out papers. "Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Davenporium Grand Reopening! City crime rate at all-time low!"
 
Just hearing those words pushed her already-joyful heart close to overflowing. She tossed a couple of bits to the colt, and took a paper from him under her wing. She would read it on the way back.
 
"Thank yah miss!" the lad drawled in a charming Trottingham accent. "Have a good day now, y'hear?"
 
"Thanks! Have a good day too!" she cheered to him, trotting off and looking at the friendly ponies all around. Some gave her odd looks at her exuberant nature, though her infectious good cheer brought smiles to other ponies’ faces.
 
"Good day to you, Ma'am!" she cheered to one mare, who blinked before she waved back.
 
"And a good afternoon to you sir!" she continued, directed towards a dapper unicorn stallion. He smiled gamely at her and nodded as she skipped on by.
 
"And a VERY good afternoon to you—"
 
She stopped dead in her tracks, the words dying in her mouth as her body ground to a halt, at the sight of the mare standing not three yards away from her.

Said pony had also froze, mouth open slightly in shock. A yellow earth pony, with a curled mane and tail of orange, deep green eyes, and a trio of carrots for a cutie-mark. Currently placed upon her back was a saddlebag, filled with groceries.
 
They stared at each other for a long moment, before the orange one spoke.
 
"Commander."
 
Derpy felt her heart sink a little, but gently set her basket down, before nodding at the mare. "Chief."
 
They stared for a few more uneasy seconds. Carrot spoke again.
 
"I don't see you in uniform... or anything else on you..."
 
The pegasus gave a motion with her head. "And I don't see your badge on you right now."
 
“I'm off duty." the earth pony explained, motioning to her saddlebags. "I was just shopping for dinner tonight. Uhm... what about you? What brings you out of Celestia Tower?"
 
A hoof touched the basket. "I'm bringing some muffins for a friend of mine."
 
That brought a smile to the yellow one's face. "Some things never change, huh?"
 
Another long and uneasy silence... one that was broken when Derpy decided she couldn't hold it in any longer.
 
“Carrot?"
 
She responded immediately. "Ditzy?"
 
"I-I can still call you that, right?"
 
Carrot Top's face softened. "Of course you can, hon."
 
She picked up her basket and trotted closer to her old friend, before rooting into her goods and digging out a single pastry. "Carrot... would you like a muffin? For old time's sake?"
 
Green eyes stared at the offered treat in silence for a few seconds, before taking it gently into her hooves. She inhaled its scent, before smiling and placing it in her saddlebag. "Nopony could quite make a muffin like you could, Ditzy."
 
She turned to face the grey mare again, her expression suddenly shifting back into the practiced guarded policepony's gaze, as she then asked. "Really, old friend. What are you doing out here? I hear that you're like an avatar of honesty these days. Be honest with me then. What would bring you out into the open, out of the thing that... that you've spent so long and so hard to build up?"
 
Derpy could feel that what her friend had really wanted to say was 'the thing that took you away from me'. The question wasn't fair. Technically, she actually was on a mission, but had gone so bare-bones about it that it just... wasn't obvious. BonBon was probably watching the both of them from up above, which only brought the problem that much more into focus. Here, she had caught her old friend during her honest off-hours, and if she found out she was still technically on the clock...
 
... why DID I jump for this assignment anyway? To get away from the paperwork. To get away from all the politics. To get away from the pressures of having to manage a team of so many ponies. To get away from the complexity...
 
"I..." she finally began out loud. "I wanted to LIVE for a change."
 
Carrot Top stared at her for a moment more, before the stern mask melted away from her face. The pegasus's eyes focused as, for an instant in time, the pony before her ceased being the Chief of Metropony City Police, and was once again her dear old friend, the simple farmpony, Carrot Top.

"I know how you feel, dear. " she stated. "I can't help but treasure these moments of freedom myself. It's good to see you, Ditzy Doo. We should really run into each other like this more often."
 
She found herself relaxing, as a smile came over her face. "We really should. It was good to see you too, Carrot."
 
The yellow mare nodded to her, before taking to her hooves, trotting past her. "I really need to get home."
 
"Right, right." Derpy agreed, picking up her basket again. "And I need to get going, don't want to keep my friend waiting."
 
"... hey, Ditzy?"
 
She paused in her steps, before looking back at Carrot, and spying the look on her face. She seemed to be wrestling with herself to say something. When at last she spoke, she locked eyes with her.
 
"Don't be a stranger. Okay?"
 
The blonde pony smiled back at her. "I won't, Carrot. See you soon~"
 
They both nodded, before parting ways again. For Derpy, her heart's mood had been restored, a victory of sorts having been scored in her mind. Professional relationships or not, Carrot had spoken with her. And on top of that, the underlying hope, of repairing bridges long broken... she couldn't help but bring the skip in her step back once more, as she continued working her way towards Sweet Apple Acres.
 
All I have to be, is simple again. Simple is Best.


------------------------

 
"This is home base, calling Agent B. Agent B do you copy, over?"
 
"I read you loud and clear, Octavia."
 
"That's Agent Double Bass to you, Agent B." the dark grey earth pony replied curtly into the receiving unit, perched primly in the big chair behind the Commander's Desk. "As long as I'm going to be in charge, we're going to be doing things by the book. That includes proper codenames for all field operations."
 
"We hear you, Tavi." Vinyl's voice came over tinny through the speaker connection to ExTech. "Seriously, you got the long straw, so don't be such a buzz-kill! You're in the big chair now, try and enjoy yourself, babe!"
 
"I am." Octavia directed her voice to her downstairs college. "And furthermore, in effect right now, any instance of calling me 'Babe' will result in a hundred-bit taxation from Miss Vinyl Scratch's upcoming paycheck."
 
"H-hey!" the unicorn sputtered. "Don't even joke about that! I need every bit I can get! Those rave parties don't pay for themselves!"
 
There was a smile of smug satisfaction with the mare, before she turned her attention back to BonBon. "Do you require a change of shifts, Agent B?"
 
"Nope, I'm good. I think I have this pretty well in the bag. Still hot on the Chief’s tracks. Nothing super-unusual to report. Will call back in once we arrive at our target destination."
 
"Acknowledged, Agent B. Home Base, signing off."
 
There was a click of a switch, just in time for the doors to whoosh open, allowing in a glamorous white unicorn, her horn alight in levitating several sorted piles of paper right behind her.
 
"Gracious, that took long enough." Rarity sighed to herself as she sat the stacks onto one end of the desk. "I know our chief had her hooves full, but with a mess that disorganized, it's a wonder she got anything done at all!"
 
The earth pony couldn't help but nod in agreement, reaching a hoof out towards the piles. "What seems to be the most pressing document, Rarity?"
 
"Well..." A piece of paper was levitated off the top and brought down before the unicorn's eyes. "It appears that MARE's water usage taxes will be coming up shortly. It's my understanding that we have a special standing with the city to allow us something of a leniency, isn't that correct?"
 
"I... ah... hmm." was Octavia's response to that, settling back in the chair as she lapsed into thought. "I don't actually remember. I'm certain the Commander mentioned it in the last budget meeting we had, but that was also when that Surprise character had shown up again and threw everything in a—"

She stopped herself and shook her head. "Never mind. I'll need to hunt down the appropriate documentation before I tackle that one. Is there anything else I should be aware of?"
 
There was more shuffling of papers. "Oh my... it seems there will be a cabinet review with the Equestrian Ministry a few days from now."
 
The grey mare's eyes bugged out of their sockets for a second, before she quickly recomposed herself. "A... a cabinet review? As in... they'll need the Commander to be there in person, won't they?"
 
She got a nod. "It looks that way, Miss Octavia. It states specifically that the Head officer of MARE is required to appear... they don't list Commander Derpy by name however, so it might have to be you."
 
There was a few seconds of silence, before a throat was cleared. "Okay. Okay, that's not until a few days from now. Hopefully the Commander will be back in time for that. Anything else?"
 
"Speaking Panel on City-wide metropolitan defense forces at twelve tomorrow."
 
"... ah.... okay... anything else?"
 
“Charity photoshoot for Green Cross and Greener Pastures."
 
Her voice was very, very tiny. "... anything else?"
 
"Let's see... there appears to be an interview scheduled on the Equestria-wide TV talkshow 'Horsetalk' with Ferris Fetlock, but..." Rarity looked up and saw the expression on her officer's face. "That's something that can be canceled, don't you think?"
 
Octavia's face was still composed, though her left eye had developed a small tic, and a few hairs were uncurling from her normally impeccably-groomed mane. She had expected paperwork. Nice, calm, quiet paperwork. She didn't have a problem with facing tons of ponies. She wouldn't have been a musician otherwise. No, her problem was that she was expected to represent the whole of MARE at these social meetings, and though she prided herself on being a part of the organization, this was not something that she felt like she could trust herself to manage efficiently, given the specialization of her department—
 
The desk rung, causing both mares to jump. Scrambling, the ExTechnician answered the comm. "Commander's office, how can I help you?"
 
A guardpony came onto the screen, his face an expression of anxiousness. "Uhm, yes, can I get the Commander, please? She's late for the tour she promised."
 
They both blinked. They looked at each other.
 
"Tour?"
 
"First I've heard of it."
 
"It wasn't in the paperwork?"
 
"No! Honest dearie, I saw nothing of the sort while I was sorting them!"
 
Octavia sighed, before turning back to the comm screen. "This is Acting Commander Octavia speaking. Commander Derpy isn't in at the moment, I'm afraid. What's the problem? What's this about a tour?"
 
"W-well, ma'am." the stallion looked off to the side, before turning back. "About ten minutes ago, a school bus from the Metropony Public school dropped off a load of foals and their teacher. Apparently, the Commander had promised—"
 
"E-excuse me?" came a mare's voice, and the guard shifted to the side to allow a maroon-coated pony to look into the screen. "Yes, hello? I'm Cheerilee Daisy, is Miss Ditzy Doo there? She promised my students and I a tour of the facilities of Celestia Towers, as part of our field-trip this week. I hope that nothing's gone wrong."
 
"O-oh, no! Of course not!" The black-maned mare was sweating in her seat. "The Commander's not in right now. I-I'm Octavia, Acting Commander in her stead. Uhm... if you'll give me a bit, I'll... be right down there, and we'll get... started on that tour!"
 
Cheerilee looked relieved. "Thank goodness. We're all waiting to see how MARE keeps Metropony city safe. This will be exciting, I just know it— hey! Snips! Snails!" She turned away from the screen, trotting into the distance. "Get down from there, that statue is not a jungle gym!"
 
The guard briefly reappeared, before whispering "Please make it quick, I dunno how much longer she can keep them in line!" With that, the comm system winked off.
 
Octavia stared at the blank screen for a miniature eternity. Rarity gently stepped up to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder, causing her to jump in place slightly. "Darling... are you going to be alright?"
 
"... I'm about to give a guided tour to a class full of six-year-old colts and fillies, inside one of the most technologically advanced justice institutions in all of Equestria." Slowly she turned to stare at the unicorn, her eyes hollow. "I.... don't think I have a sufficient answer to your question, Miss Rarity."
 
The unicorn clucked her tongue. "I'm afraid there's no other way to go about it than to just do it, dearie." she replied, gently nudging her superior out of her chair and towards the door. "The sooner, the better."
 
"R-right, right." the musician stammered. She stood up on all four hooves, before firmly shaking her head and standing up straight, attempting to banish her dread at the upcoming encounter. "The sooner the better... right..."
 
Slowly she trotted towards the office doors, pausing to allow them to slide open, before looking back at her assistant. "Rarity? Can I ask one more favor of you?"
 
"What's that?"
 
One last black strand sprung up from Octavia's mane. "Get everypony together and have them draw straws again. I don't think I'll be coming back from this alive."


------------------------

 
Derpy's eyes were wide as she took in the surrounding countryside. The skyline of Metropony city was receding in the distance, though she felt no uneasiness upon leaving the towering buildings and structures behind. She was too busy being wowed by the abundant greenery that was surrounding her.
 
Especially the orchard of Apple Trees that she was passing on her right side.
 
The white painted fences looked like they came out of a centuries-old photograph. They might very well have been. Sweet Apple Acres was one of the Oldest Institutions in all of Equestria, after all. Who knew how many of these trees were the same ones that were standing way back when the original Elements of Harmony were still alive?
 
The pegasus shook her head out of her daydreaming state, quickly focusing on the gate ahead. Keep focused, Derpy. Now's not the time to get starstruck.
 
She passed into the acres unimpeded, her eyes still roaming the vast groves of tall trees. Some rows, she could discern as different apple breeds from the others, each tree heavily weighed down with dozens of the fruits, ripe and red for the picking. She felt her mouth begin to water, but again cleared her mind, pressing onwards.
 
It wasn't long before she crested a hill, bringing her into view of the heart of Sweet Apple Acres. In the valley below laid a storehouse, dozens of farmponies milling about it, shifting cargo to and from the big building and on-loading into delivery trucks bound for Metropony City or other destinations around Equestria. A few silos and fields indicated that the Acres dabbled in more than just apples, and for a second, Derpy worried if Carrot had been in competition with them in the past. All the equipment down there was modern and practical, efficient. Suitable to today's society.
 
Which is why it was a surprise when she turned her head towards a nearby hill, and saw a farm taken directly out of Centuries-old Ponyville. A bright red barn-house sat there, a silo by its side, with a nearby chicken coop on the edge of the yard. It was surrounded by the same white fencing as the acres itself, and if she looked close enough, she could swear she could see a red pony tending to one of the fenceposts.
 
Obviously, somepony lives there. Is that... the Apple Family's house?
 
*WHAM*
 
Derpy jumped in place as she heard the noise. Her senses suddenly on high-alert, she quickly scanned the area surrounding her.
 
*WHAM*
 
BonBon moved quieter than that, she knew. Which indicated that this was somepony other than BonBon. A third repetition of the noise allowed her to narrow it down to coming from her left, amidst the apple groves. Curious and wary, the MARE commander moved in to investigate.
 
The noise came at regular intervals, though it would never stay exactly in once spot. As she moved closer, she began to hear an additional sound to every 'wham'. The pitter-patter of fruit falling into buckets.
 
Apple-bucking. she realized. Somepony is bucking apples out here. But who?
 
She got her answer soon enough. Stepping out into a row clearing, she got a good look at a pony tensed up to deliver another buck to a fully-loaded tree, just in time to watch the farmpony unleash her legpower. The mighty impact gave the tree a tremendous shudder, before a rainfall of Golden Delicious apples fell forth, promptly filling up the carefully-arranged buckets around its base.
 
The orange mare in front of the tree gave a sigh, before taking off her Stetson hat and wiping her brow. She turned, and then froze as she sighted Derpy staring right at her, returning the gaze with her green eyes, freckled cheeks suddenly stiff in an unreadable expression.
 
Applejack.
 
There was no mistaking that golden mane and signature hat. This was the pony she had set out to find. What luck.
 
"... who in th' great gallopin' gallahads are you, an' what're you doin' on mah farm?"
 
What luck indeed.
 
Derpy sat her basket of muffins down, doing her best to display her friendly stance. She faced the farm pony and put on her best prizewinning smile. "I'm Ditzy Doo. I wanted to talk to you... and bring you a present!"
 
Applejack let an eyebrow arch up. The grey mare could feel a tingle go through her spine, as she felt those piercing green eyes go over her. If there was any doubt in her mind that this pony was a bearer of Honesty, that was quickly washed away.
 
At length, the suspicious gaze let up. The stony expression was suddenly lifted, revealing a sunny disposition as the farmpony trotted over and took the pegasus's hooves in both of hers, pumping it up and down furiously. "Well howdy there Miss Ditzy Doo! Glad t'make yer acquaintance! We here at Sweet Apple Acres, sure do like makin' new friends!"
 
"I-I-I'm gla-a-a-ad to-o- hea-a-a-ar it!" Derpy replied shakily, relief flooding through her system. When she was finally released, she took a moment to calm her body's motion, before speaking. "You kinda scared me there at first!"
 
"Ah'm awful sorry 'bout that, sugarcube." AJ apologized, rubbing the back of her head. "Been a number of mighty weird things happenin' 'round these parts, so Ah gotta stay on mah hooves. Can never tell when some strange pony's gonna want yer hide fer somethin'."
 
That got the commander's attention. "Strange things? Like, right here on the farm?"
 
"That's right. Ah thought only th' city had to deal with crazy things happenin' every week or so. But hay, let's not let that get us down right now!" She directed her eyes towards the muffin basket, and bent down to take a whiff. "Mmmm... Walnut and Praline muffins, am Ah right?"
 
"That's right." came the happy reply. "Always goes great with apples!"
 
"Ah like th' way you think." She was offered a smile, before the basket was picked up and placed on her back. "So tell me. What brings y’all out here to Sweet Apple Acres, to talk to little ol' me in person?"
 
Here the blonde pegasus opened her mouth... and found herself freezing. Everything had led up to this moment. She'd found, and met the target. Beyond that point... telling her why she's come, recruiting her into MARE, and then returning back to Celestia Towers... Back to that big office, stuffed with paperwork... back to the old, complicated routine, already...
 
Applejack herself saved her. "Y’all had some kind of business deal in mind?"
 
"Yes!" Derpy pounced upon the opportunity presented to her. It was technically the truth after all! "Yes, uhm, Miss Applejack... there's a venture that I have going on, that I wouldn't mind your expertise on-board for. I-I'd go into more detail, but... well..." she began looking around a bit nervously, the earlier words of strange goings-ons coming back to her mind.
 
"You'd rather we talked 'bout it in private, Ah getcha." AJ nodded towards her, before looking back at the apple buckets thus filled from before. "Tell yah what. If you can help me drag these bushels over to th' barn, Ah'll treat yah to some cider at th' house. Once we're all good an' settled in, we can talk all 'bout it 'till th' cows come home. That sit right wit' you?"
 
"Works for me!" came the reply, golden eyes closed in a smile. They both proceeded to launch into moving the bushels, a task which Derpy thanked her lucky stars for, that would take them quite some time.
 

------------------------

 
"Yooooo, this is home base, callin' in to Agent B! Come IIIINNNNN BonBon!"
 
"Scratch?" came the confused voice. "Is that you?"
 
"That's my name!" The DJ replied, leaning back in the big chair behind the Commander's Desk. "Octy had somethin' come up that got her hooves tied, so I'm takin' a turn in the big boss chair now!"
 
"You all drew straws again, didn't you?" BonBon's tone of voice was as flat as a flapjack.

"Yeah we did, so what?" Vinyl stretched lazily in her seat. "I knew my turn would come up eventually. Just was lucky I got it sooner than later! A good thing too, cause I just knew Tavi was gonna bring the whole place down. Heh, not me though. First order of business: Issue everypony a pair of DJ-regulation nightshades!"
 
There was no reply to that, though some ponies could easily imagine the superheroine rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Okay, whatever." came the reply at last. "Just as long as the place is still in one piece when the Chief and I get back."
 
“Oh hey yeah, that reminds me! How's it goin' with the mission and stuff!?"
 
“Reasonably well, so far. Commander Derpy has successfully located, and made contact with Applejack."
 
"All RIGHT BOSS MARE!!" the unicorn leapt to her hooves and pumped the air, before falling back into the chair. "So, are we good? Is she gonna join us and let me spec out a totally sweet nanosuit for her?"
 
“Ahhh, not quite yet." The tension was obvious in the voice. "Commander Derpy has yet to... um, 'break the topic' with her. As of current, she's working on getting into Applejack's good graces."
 
"Ahh, that's cool. What's she doing?"
 
"... hauling apples."
 
"... that pony sure does like her apples, doesn't she?'
 
“She's not called Applejack for nothing."
 
"Okay, well, that's all good." Vinyl leaned her head back, a hoof on the button. "Call me back when there's been progress made, alright?"
 
"Will do Vinyl."
 
"Cool. Talk to ya later, babe!'
 
“Oh now don't YOU start with calling ME ba—"
 
There was a click as communications were switched off. The white pony gave a sigh as she tilted the chair back, proceeding to kick a hoof off the desk and spin in circles. "Ahhhh... ain't this the life."
 
"I dunno, IS this the life?"
 
She shouldn't have been surprised. But it still caught her off-guard as Pinkie Pie suddenly materialized on top of the desk inbetween chair rotations. Screeching to a halt, Vinyl recollected herself, before throwing her forelimbs wide. "Pinkster, mah main mare! What brings you by my brand new casa bueno?"
 
"Well I'm here to help you, that's what!" the filly cheered. "I mean, Rarity helped Octy, so it's only fair for me to get to be your assistant for the day too!"
 
“Hmmm... fair point, my fine filly friend. Very well! As new head of MARE, I hereby promote you as Director's Awesome Assistant, with all the perks that apply!"
 
Pinkie leapt into the air with a cheer, before quickly reassuming her perch. "So then, Miss Boss-lady! What're we gonna do today?"
 
“Well first we—..." Vinyl paused, before scratching her mane. "Uh, actually... now that I think about it... the boss mare usually does like... paperwork and stuff like that, doesn't she?"
 
A face was made. "I think so. Not very fun-sounding if you ask me."
 
"Meh, well, we wouldn't be doing our jobs if we didn't at least touch it. So... gimmie a piece of paper off that stack, wouldja?"
 
The pink pony looked behind her at the sorted piles, reached up to one of them, and pulled out a document from the top. She gave it a quick once-over before handing it off to Vinyl. "Requisition form for supplying all MARE Trainees with paper-bag lunches before beginning of training rounds?"
 
The unicorn took the paper and looked it over, peering over her glasses. "Lunch to include one banana, one peanut butter and guava jelly sandwich, one cup of yogurt, random assorted flavor, one box of juice, random assorted flavor, an almond granola bar, and one carrot and raisin muffin..."
 
They stared at each other, before Vinyl shrugged, dug out a rubber stamp, and slammed it on the document, leaving behind a bright red mark that said 'Approved'.
 
"Okay! We touched the paperwork! That's enough for one day, don't you think?"
 
"Yeah!"
 
"... so then... what do you think we should do next?"
 
".... Oh! What say we clean up around the office! I bet Derpy would be happy to come back home to a nice clean office after her mission!"
 
She looked around the area, her face thoughtful. "But Octy and Rares've already swept over the place with a fine tooth comb earlier. What exactly is left to do?"
 
"Oh I~ know a place they haven't touched yeeet~" Pinkie cheered in a singsong voice, leaping off the desk and dancing towards a certain wood panel in the back of the office. She barely gave it the lightest of taps, before the entire back wall hissed and unfolded outwards, revealing a long glimmering barrel adorned with wires and tubing, and an etching of the commander's cutie-mark. A weapon that Vinyl easily recognized the Commander having wielded several times before.
 
"B-Bubbles!?"
 
"Yep!" the party pony exclaimed. "I bet Derpy would be super-pleased if we gave her a good cleaning, don't you?"
 
The white mare had to pause. This was the Commander's personal firearm, and easily one of the most dangerous and powerful objects inside of MARE itself, excepting certain superheroes. It's power source, a magically-infused fusion generator was the heart of its Sonic-Rainboom producing shots, with every single component meticulously fine-tuned and tweaked to achieve the best possible accuracy underneath the earth-shattering recoil. If the Commander were to return and find something wrong with it...
 
... hay, what was she thinking? She was Vinyl Scratch! Top technical hardware expert of ExTech, not to mention one of the legendary Elements of Harmony! She'd wrestled with rogue nanotechnology, designed and engineered untold numbers of specialized gadgetry, and was the only pony in all of MARE with even half the necessary skills require to handle a machine like Bubbles! As far as she knew, she was the most qualified pony for the job set ahead of her!
 
"You're right!" she finally cheered, stepping towards the giant gun. "I bet the boss might even give us a raise if we put a little extra spit an' polish on her! C'mon Pinkie, this's gonna be a piece of cake!"
 

------------------------

 
Applebloom looked left. And then looked right, before stepping out into the open, towards the enormous tree.
 
It was a titanic thing, quite easily the biggest tree on the farm. Legend in the Apple family said that this very same tree once held a treehouse in its branches, where an old apple pony had crusaded for their cutie-mark, along with their friends. The names and identities of these proto-crusaders however, were long lost to history, and the only sign of their ever having existed laid high in the branches of that ancient tree, where a few rusted nails kept a stray plank or two still in place.
 
She bit her lip as she stared up at the old wood. Ah wonder what it was like, buildin' a tree-house... Ah bet Ah could do it if Ah really wanted to. Just get a few materials, draw up a plan, and put'er together! Would be easy as pie!...
 
She then shook her head, and resumed her trot towards the tree's base. But why bother with a silly ol' tree house, when you've got yer own private secret base all underground?!
 
She pressed an unassuming knot in the wood, and a section of bark slid away to reveal a descending staircase beneath the tree's roots. Everything that she had applied to the Crusader's cityplace hideout, she had arranged and developed here first.
 
The apple pony descended into the depths, crystal lightstones coming alight as she drew near them, illuminating the complex underground. It was a wide and cavernous space, with tons of workbenches arranged against the walls, while one side was completely devoted to open-topped workrooms and pens. As she finally reached the floor, she cast an inquisitive eye at her many projects. "Lessee... what'll Ah work on t'day?"
 
She glanced over to one bench that currently contained a filly-sized robot, inactive but standing tall. She trotted over and closed it's face-panels, revealing a disturbing likeness to her friend, Sweetie Belle. If something bad ever happens to one of us, Ah can bring'em here right quick, an' upload their memories inta one of these bots! With luck, they can live again! All they'd have to do is just stay away from water. It might make'em feel funny.
 
She looked the body over, then inspected the half-finished structure of Scootaloo's bot form, and then at the disembodied head of her own bot. A shiver ran down her spine, before she turned away and told herself "Not t'day."
 
Instead she wandered over towards the various weaponized suits and gadgets that were piled up against one side of the room. She knew Applejack would throw a fit if she discovered any of these high-caliber grenades or heat lasers on her property. She had taken extra careful care not to tip her big sister off about their existence. On retrospect, perhaps attempting to be city conquerors hadn't been the brightest bulb the three of them had found that day. And to date, none of them exactly remembered whose idea it was, to make their debut at the funeral of Metropony City's famed crimefighters, Harpflank and Sweets.
 
Not that it had really mattered, as it had turned out that Harpflank and Sweet's demise had not only been exaggerated, but were also present, and quite very much alive and capable of disabling and disarming whatever the Crusaders had thrown at them.
 
She felt a spout of frustration well inside her chest. She had worked hard on those suits! And yet, those two ponies had just... tossed them around like they were nothing! Didn't they have any idea how long it'd taken for her to get those jet units balanced right, or how much effort it's taken her to craft their equinium steel plates to fit exactly right?!
 
The yellow filly sat there for a moment longer, stewing, before shaking her head and moving elsewhere. Ah need ta clear mah head... maybe Ah should check on th' snake.
 
Taking up fully half of her underground space, were a number of pens containing various creatures that she had taken in, adopted, and at various points, experimented on. AJ had made very clear her disapproval of Applebloom's dabblings in the fields of bioengineering when she had tried to change Winona's coat color from brown to green. She had argued that would make her a better guard dog, but her big sister would hear none of it.
 
So she had continued her forays into the world of genetic experimentation in secret, away from Applejack's prying eyes. She was quite proud of what she'd done so far. There was a small henyard of chickens that laid glow-in-the-dark eggs, making harvesting them easier. Over in one corner, was a pig that had a small pair of hummingbird wings, and a whistling tweet to match. And taking up the majority of one pen, was a small herd of sheep with wool that grew in multiple neon-bright colors.
 
"Heee-y-y-y Applebloom!" one called out.
 
"Yo, Jerry!" she replied. "What's up?"
 
"Whe-e-e-en are we ge-e-eting out of he-e-ere again?"
 
“Oh, Ah'm still lookin' fer a good home for y'all. There's this crystal kingdom up in the north that might be interested in having you guys. Gimmie two more days, and yer good to go!"
 
“Tha-a-a-anks Applebloom!"
 
She gave a wave as she reached the last pen in the aisle. In it was a fourteen-hoof long boa constrictor, which was currently draped lazily across an enormous rock, sunning itself in the artificial sunlamp that the yellow filly had set up for it. It didn't make any motions as Bloom peered into it, looking it over. It also failed to see the small smile come across her face as whimsy struck her.
 
"Ah know!" she announced to nopony in particular. "Ah've had to feed you a dead rat every month or so, y'know. Ah think you'd make a great pet, but ponies are scared of you, cause you eat meat! But if Ah make it so y'all can eat plants instead... then th' other ponies would have nothin' to worry about!"
 
She scampered over to a nearby bench, this one adorned with a chemistry set. Eagerly she began mixing a brew together, humming a small tune to herself. "All yah have to do is take a cup of glutamate, add it to th' mix! Now yah add bit of somethin' saccharine, not acidic, a bit of sodium, just a pinch!"
 
“An’ fer good measure," she held up a test tube of some neon green, liquid element. "Mutagen X, for those speedy results!" She poured it into her beaker without ceremony, and gave it a few customary shakes, waiting until the steam that seeped out of it stopped being a sickly yellow color, and became a more soothing blue shade.
 
Into a tranq dart it was loaded. Applebloom loaded that into a gun, trotted back over to the poor unsuspecting snake's pen. The only warning it had was the cha-click of the gun being cocked, followed by an air-pressurized *WHUMPH*, and a sudden stinging sensation in its side.
 
The filly watched as the boa constrictor proceeded to wriggle, change color to neon green, spring up like a coil while suddenly flashing to hot pink, and then proceeding to imitate all the colors and marshmallow shapes of Lucky Hooves cereal. It took a few minutes, but it eventually collapsed in place, forked tongue hanging out as it attempted to catch its breath.
 
"Now that was a show!" she exclaimed, before reaching behind her. "Now for th' real test. Let's see if it worked!" With that, she withdrew a large, red delicious apple, and placed it gingerly into the snake's enclosure.
 
The boa perked it's head, tongue flickering in and out, as it scented the apple. It crawled over, inspected it with it's beady eyes, and gave it a few testing tastes with its tongue... before opening its maw wide, and proceeding to swallow the apple whole, having found it to its liking.
 
"SUCCESS!" Applebloom cheered, doing a small dance in place, before doing her customary check to see if her cutie mark had appeared due to her most recent accomplishment. However, her flank remained regretfully unadorned. "Horseapples... Ah was sure that one was gonna get me it fer sure!"
 
"Applebloom? Applebloom, 'bout time fer lunch!"
 
Her ears perked at the sound of her big sister's voice. Hurriedly she put her chemistry set away and gave the sheep another reassurance of their eventual release, before dashing up the stairs and dimming the lights, leaving the work of her idle hooves stored away for another day of tinkering. As she leapt outside the base, and the bark closed up behind her, she ceased being the brilliantly misguided inventor, and was once again, a simple schoolfilly by name of Applebloom.
 
"Ah'm comin', big sis!" she called out, galloping in the direction of the farmhouse. "Ah'mma comin', AJ!"
 

------------------------

 
Derpy smiled as she looked into the steaming cup of tea, before gently bringing it to her lips. The taste was heavenly.
 
"Y’all like it?" came the elderly voice from her side. A pair of sharp eyes studied her from a green, age-wizened face. "It was a specialty of me great grand-pappy's."
 
“It's wonderful, Mrs. Smith." the pegasus replied, setting her teacup down on the platter before her. She was seated at the Apple Family dining room table, inside the big red barnhouse. The kitchen was a nice, quaint little place, lined with knicknacks and picture frames of various apple family members. The muffins were in the middle of the table, joined with slices of fresh apple and butter. All in all, a perfectly homey and traditional farmhouse. And a far cry from the office. the commander thought to herself.
 
The elderly mare waved a hoof at her. "You don't need to bother with all that Missus nonsense. Ah ain't been a Missus fer thirty years. Y'all can call me Granny Smith, darlin'. Nice an' simple, 'kay?"
 
She couldn't help but chuckle, before nodding. "Whatever you say, Granny Smith."
 
"We're back." came another voice, Applejack's own. She trotted into the kitchen, quickly followed by a yellow filly with a red mane and pink hairbow.
 
Granny cocked an eyebrow. "Mac ain't joinin' us?"
 
"He said he wanted to go over th' numbers for the latest Fillydelphia shipment, b'fore figuring out the cost effect of those new freezin' units we're lookin' to buy."
 
“Psh... that stallion and his numbers. Ah tell you what."
 
Derpy wasn't certain who they were talking about exactly, but the tone they were using made her want to giggle nonetheless. As she lifted a hoof to stifle herself, she happened to lock eyes with the young apple pony who had just entered the room.
 
"O-oh!" she she started. "H-hello!"
 
"... H'lo..." the small filly replied warily, having caught sight of her misaligned eyes.
 
"Applebloom, this here's Miss Ditzy Doo. She's interested in startin' something with me, so we're havin' her over fer lunch." Applejack explained. "Ditzy, Ah'd like you to meet mah little sister, Applebloom."
 
The grey pony extended a hoof in greeting, which Applebloom slowly but finally accepted. A few minutes later, and they were all seated, having each taken a muffin, apples, and tea.
 
“Mmmfm... land sakes Miss Doo..." The orange pony mumbled through a full mouth. "Thif here is th' best muffin Ah'f efer done taefted. Thfanks for bringin' fthese ofer, thurgarcube!"
 
Even Bloom had to nod her agreement,  looking over the muffin in her hoof. 'They ain't too sweet or heavy or nothin'. How'd ya get'em so good?"
 
Ditzy chuckled. "Years of experience. And a little knowledge of how bubbling works." She raised her plot long enough for all those present to get a good look at the line of bubbles trailing down her sides. "I got my cutiemark when I was a soda jerk in my younger days. I took that knowledge of mixing soda and applied it to my favorite baked goods. As a result, I've learned how to make the most perfect muffins!" She finished this statement by grabbing another soft morsel and popping it whole into her mouth,
 
Applejack and Granny Smith seemed pretty impressed. The filly on the other hoof, wore a disbelieving expression. "Soda Jerking? Ah thought soda shops went outta business."
 
"They did, but that don't mean th' art’s up and gone." Granny Smith replied. "Those were th' days... Ah remember visitin' this li'l stand up on Main Street, back with Metropony City was still nothin' but a three-story town!"
 
"Hey, y'know, there's an idea." AJ piped up, giving her younger sister a nudge. "Soda-makin'. You an’ your friends haven't tried that one yet, have ya? Ah can arrange for the fixin's to be delivered quick-smart." She turned back to their guest to clarify. "Applebloom doesn't have her cutiemark yet, so she's still on the lookout fer her talent. Whaddya say, sis?"
 
Applebloom crossed her hooves, cheeks tinged with pink. "Didja haveta bring that up in front of her, AJ?" she asked, before letting out a huff. "B'sides, if mah cutiemark were somethin' that simple, Ah'd have gotten it by now already."
 
The pegasus raised an eyebrow, before looking over to the farmpony again. All she got from that direction was a rolled pair of green eyes. Looking back to the foal, she then spoke up. "I don't know, the thing about small things is that there's so many of them. It all adds up, if you go at it a little at a time—"
 
"But Ah don't wanna go at it a li'l at a time! Ah want it NAOW." Bloom replied again, sitting back and sulking. "Ah don't wanna spend th' rest of mah life tryin' tiny things that won't even matter in th' long run! Ah'd rather get mah cutie-mark by doin' somethin' big an' amazin', somethin' that'll change how ponies live life ferever!" She then proceeded to turn to her sister with a glare. "Somethin' like specially-bred fruit bats that eat Poison Joke fer example!"
 
Applejack's face quickly contorted into a disapproving expression. "Again with th' fancy science stuff? Bloom, Ah already told you, that's a load of dynamite that you'd best not be touchin'! And y'know Ah wouldn't be so strict about it, if y'hadn't tried to turn Winona green, or tried to build a buncha tree-eating robots, without mah knowin' about it!"
 
“Ah didn't mean fer her to get sick! Ah betcha I could get it right this time, if you just let me have another chance!"
 
"You didn't even ask fer th' first one! Applebloom, y'all can beg an’ plead however much you like, but there is no way on Celestia's green apples Ah'm gonna be lettin' you experiment on anythin' dead or alive for the—"
 
"That's enough you two."
 
Both siblings stopped at the stern voice, and looked up at Granny Smith, who was eying the both of them. Next to her, Ditzy Doo shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She could tell that this was an argument that had occurred before, multiple times. And with a raw subject matter at that.
 
They looked down, ashamed at having gone off on that tangent in front of a guest, and separated, sitting down at opposite ends of the table. The elderly mare let out a sigh, before turning to Derpy. "Mah apologies, Miss Doo. Mah grandaughters don't exactly... see eye to eye 'bout certain things."
 
"That's puttin' it mildly." Applebloom murmured under her breath. She got another glare for her trouble.
 
"I-It's okay." the blonde pegasus replied, waving a hoof. "I understand. Every family's got its rough spots, believe me." She proceeded to rub the back of her mane and nervously laugh. It was enough to bring Applejack back around at least, her taking up her muffin once more and polishing it off.
 
"Ah'm sorry Applebloom." she started slowly. "Ah know y'don't feel th' same, but... there are less convoluted ways to get a cutie mark, y'know. In th' meantime... Miss Ditzy an' Ah need to talk business. If y' want... we'll talk 'bout it later tonight. 'Kay?"
 
There was a sigh, followed by a half-hearted "Sure." from the yellow pony. She grabbed the remains of her own muffin and quickly scarfed it down, before hopping out of her chair. She began trotting towards the door, before looking back and speaking to their guest one more time. "Was it really that simple? Gettin' your cutiemark, Ah mean."
 
Ditzy blinked, before smiling and nodding back to her. "It was, at least for me. In my mind, it's an example of a saying that I try to live by... sometimes, Simple is Best."
 
Applebloom stared at her for a long moment, before her eyes narrowed, a look of resolution overtaking her face.
 
“Yer wrong, Miss Doo. An' one of these days... Ah'm gonna prove it."
 
And then she was out the door, before Applejack could even get out a scolding word.
 

------------------------

 
"Okay so... HOW many floors need to be fixed again?"
 
"At least eight, including the roof." the brown technician colt explained to Lyra. "It's a good thing it went off while it was pointed up. Otherwise, we'd have to deal with the whole lower three fourths of Celestia Towers... not to mention a few sewers as well. I wouldn't envy the colt assigned to that mess."
 
Lyra nodded to him, before looking around the office again. There were rainbow-colored scorch marks all over the walls, not to mention a few smoldering picture frames. In the middle of the room, laid the disemboweled carcass of a mighty weapon of destruction, parts and panels scattered like bones. And in the middle of the grisly mechanical sight sat a cannon pointed up, with its power source safely detached. It was positioned perfectly right below a hole in the ceiling large enough for two pegasi to fly through side-by side with ample wingroom.
 
Speaking of pegasi, one flew down from said hole, her rose-colored eyes shining eagerly through her unkempt rainbow mane. "DO WE GET GEAR LIKE THIS WHEN WE GO ONTO THE FIELD?!"
 
"Cool it, sport." the unicorn chided her. "Scratch and Tavi will give us the toys we need for whatever the situation calls for, don't worry." She took a few steps forward, before looking back over her shoulder. "Whether or not the gear's anything like Bubbles or not, is entirely up to them." she trailed off with an evident grin.
 
Rainbow Dash fairly pranced in place at the prospect. The pony known as Harpflank however, turned back to the team of technicians that were now working on repairing the site. "Speaking of Bubbles, CAN you guys get her put back together before the boss comes back? I'd rather not have her come home and see her pride and joy all busted up like this."
 
"Oh we'll get her sorted out all right." the brown pony from before replied. "Once Chief Technician Vinyl is discharged from the infirmary, she'll have her back together lickity split."
 
"She was here for all this to go down though, wasn't she?" Lyra raised an eyebrow. "She's usually way better than this."
 
"I think she said something about Pinkie Pie when they were rushing them outta here." Dash offered, lazily floating on her back. "That'd explain a lotta things, if you ask me."
 
"Right..." the unicorn let out a huff of air through her nose, casting her gold eyes about the office once more. Remarkably, the Commander's desk and big easy chair had escaped the explosion unscathed, and were now sitting there with nopony to helm it. She took a few more glances, before casually sauntering over to the chair, resting a forehoof upon its arm before speaking. "Well... in the meantime, since Octavia's busy with the tour, Vinyl on the rocks, BonBon in the field, and Redheart too busy to deal with straws..."
 
She trailed off, before slowly climbing into the seat, leaning back in it and hanging her hindlegs off the edge in exactly the way that a normal pony doesn't sit. She steepled her hooves, peering over them, as an ambiguous smile played across her face. "I guess it's up to me... to take the helm."
 
Various ponies glanced at each other uneasily. Rainbow however, alighted right next to the chair to give the agent a flat look. "On second thought, is it too late to bail out on this organization?"
 
"What? Oh come on, I'd make an awesome commander, don't you think?"
 
“Psh, yeah, if your idea of commanding is hitting the books with a cello the size of City Hall."
 
"Hah, and I suppose you have somepony better in mind? Like what, Rarity?"
 
"Oh hay no, Rarity would make us wear dresses out to battle. No, I~ was thinkin' that if anypony could take the wheel~..."
 
"Oooh no, shortstop, I've got seniority over you. In fact I don't know anypony else who's more qualified to lead than yours tru—"
 
"Hello? This the Agent B, reporting in."
 
Both ponies stopped short in their tracks, turning their heads towards the desk in tandem. "BonBon?' Lyra asked. "Is that you?"
 
Silence. Followed up by "... Vinyl, this is Agent B, do you copy? Over."
 
"Oh, right." she groused, turning her chair to face the desk and the control panel that was mounted on it. "Gotta hit the switch, always gotta hit the switch... uhm..."
 
Further inspection of the control panel revealed a myriad of switches, buttons, and knobs that were marked in remarkably tiny print. Lyra, not being the type to stop and study her options, instead went for the easiest and most obvious solution. 

She flicked a switch at random.
 
A panel popped off of the ceiling, and a rather large automated turret armed with an assault rifle trained a beady red eye upon Harpflank's forehead. She yelped and toggled the switch back in its original position, which sent the drone retreating back up out of sight.
 
"... Vinyl, is everything okay over there? I hope you haven't gone and gotten yourself in trouble."
 
Rainbow Dash pshawed, as she stepped up towards the panel. "Even I know a radio switch doesn't look like that." she stated, taking a turn to peer over the mess of controls. "I think it's... this one!"
 
She turned a dial that made a click. The back wall of the office instantly retracted, revealing a set of enormous heavy-duty speakers and subwoofers, which then instantly proceeded to blare ear-poundingly loud dubstep music. Lyra could swear she could feel her heart threatening to explode in her chest as the woofers let out a long note similar to a jet engine's roar.
 
The blue pegasus scrambled to find the knob again, finally grasping it and twisting it in the other direction, the speakers retreating back into the walls as a result. Dazed technicians and construction ponies staggered about the office, while the two mares struggled to regain their hearing.
 
"... is this about the babe comment? I'm sorry, Vinyl, but I'm just not as comfortable with it as Octavia obviously is. I mean I know she's always asking you not to, but I'd always figured it was one of those special things that you and her only shared, so I—"
 
"Grrr, it's gotta be one of these!" Lyra all but snarled, causing a technician or two to cower in fear. "BonBon, do you read? Gah, maybe it's this one."
 
A button was pushed. The floor directly underneath the two briefing chairs she and BonBon usually sat in suddenly opened up into a bottomless pit, sending both chairs and one hapless technician tumbling to a quite-likely-padded destination. Depressing the button closed the floor back up to normal.
 
"M-maybe this one?" Dash added, flicking yet another switch. The ceiling erupted into slowly-extending spikes, punching into the top of at least one construction-pony's helmet. All equines dropped to the floor to escape a shish kebab retirement, long enough for the blue mare to scramble and flick the switch again, sending the spikes packing back upwards.
 
"A-ha, I know!" the unicorn exclaimed again, sighting a particularly blocky-looking switch. "I bet this is it!"
 
Without waiting for somepony to call out, she hit it. Instantly an ominous rumbling noise pervaded the entire office, before the left and right walls began to close inwards, shoving everypony into the center, various stallions and mares pushing against their inevitable trash-compactor-cube fate. A couple of the techs even grabbed Bubble's rifle barrel and propped it up between the steadily encroaching walls.
 
The colt from before took the opportunity to raise his head and bellow "WOULD ONE OF YOU TWO BLOKES HIT THE BLOODY COMM BUTTON AND TURN THIS THING OFF, AND STOP TRYING TO BLOODY KILL EVERYONE IN THE ROOM ALREADY?!"
 
Both mares stopped clinging to the chair and began to scrabble over the control panel once more, quickly finding and setting the wall switch to the 'off' position, right before the crushers began to work on the commander's desk itself. Everypony breathed a sigh of relief as the walls relented, pulling back to their original positions, becoming nothing but innocent, rainbow-scorched paneling once more. Lyra and Dash both took a moment to pat each other on the back, before refocusing on the voice from before.
 
"-ynl I swear to Celestia, if you don't say something in about five more minutes, I'm going to pull back to headquarters and see what kind of trouble you've gone and gotten yourself and MARE into because I happen to know radio silence isn't part of this operation. I will call in the chopper unit if i have to—"
 
The mint pony actually stopped and took a good long look at the panel. Sitting right smack dab in the middle of all the other switches, was one that simply said 'Comm Call'. She hit it and began talking. "BonBon, can you hear me?"
 
"L-Lyra? What're you doing on this channel?"
 
"Vinyl's indisposed. I'm in the big chair. What's your status?"
 
"You?" The incredulity was obvious in her voice. "What happened with Vinyl, is she alright? Is the base under attack? Is the-"
 
“The base is fine, nopony's invading. All that Vinyl tried to do was give Bubbles a little spit-shine-"
 
"With Pinkie's help." Rainbow Dash added.
 
One could almost hear BonBon pinching the bridge of her snout. "I shouldn't have asked. Right. Well, I was going to request a duty shift, but if you're the only one who's left-"
 
"Oh no problem!" Lyra suddenly announced, springing out of the chair and onto her hooves, suddenly all smiles and enthusiasm. "Just gimme a bit to suit up, and I'll be at your location in forty. Softshoe protocol, nice and clean."
 
"But-whuh- wait." the agent on the other end said. "You just said you were in the chair, who's gonna hold the fort while you're gone?"
 
"Oh that's easy." Lyra brushed it off, before turning to Dash. "Sport, soon as Vinyl's out, tell Redheart that she's got the chair. If anypony's got a level head on their shoulders, it's her. Also tell her not to, ehe, mind the mess."

Rainbow could only nod to her. BonBon continued to be confused. "Mess? Can I get some clarification here? And why in Celestia's name did it take you so long to pick up my call?!"
 
“W-well, you could say that we've had some... technical difficulties. Harpflank out!" she quickly responded, ending the call with a rigid smile and a light trace of sweat upon her forehead. She quickly turned to exit, but was stopped in her tracks by the pegasus's voice.
 
"Wait! Weren't you saying that you were the best one for the chair, just a few moments ago?"
 
The unicorn turned to look at her protégé, her eyes quickly shifting to the side and back, before rubbing the back of her head. "Eh... power ain't all it's cracked up to be. Buuuut, if you'd liiiiike, until Redheart becomes available... she's alllll yours, sport!"
 
And with that, she turned and made a mad dash from the office. Rainbow scratched at her mane with a wingtip, confused for a second, before turning around...
 
... and finding the very sternly disapproving gazes of over a dozen bruised and beaten technician and worker ponies, all with words regarding overtime payment standing ready upon their tongues.
 

------------------------

 
"So... what's yer proposition?"
 
Derpy gulped. This was it. The moment that she'd been attempting to brace herself for, with little to no success.
 
They had retreated into an upstairs room, what Applejack called her 'office', which was little more than a bedroom strewn with paper sheets full of figures, and walls adorned with various company accomplishments, as well as a few individual blue ribbons and prize horseshoes. The farmpony herself was seated in front of a nearby window, leaning with one foreleg draped across the back of her chair, what little light there was casting a shadow across the apple pony's face. Ditzy well knew her position. She had no power in this place. Here, Applejack was in charge.
 
But she had no reason to be afraid. When it came right down to it, the both of them had more in common than anyone would realize. The both of them handled huge organizations that helped ponies with everyday living. The both of them obviously cared a lot for the people that were under their employ. And most of all, the both of them were capable of being stubborn and honest to a fault.
 
Something that she hoped would help her win this pony over. Without any preamble, the commander launched right into it.
 
"Miss Applejack... I'll put it like this. I'm in dire need of your skills."
 
AJ lifted an eyebrow. "Mah skills? With yer basket of muffins, Ah was wonderin' if you were plannin' on makin' a deal with Apples Inc or somethin'. We can always use new partners..."
 
She shook her head. "I know your company is a major supplier and powerhouse of Equestria... but I'm not here for that. I'm here to offer a position in my organization to you, Applejack, yourself."
 
The farmpony was silent for a few seconds, before leaning back in her seat. "Yer needin' mah skills in... what, exactly?"
 
The pegasus steepled her hooves in front of herself, continuing. "Applejack... I can see right in front of me, that you have no less than five Iron Horseshoe trophies, not to mention quite an impressive collection of blue ribbons from the Canterlot Rodeo displayed across your fireplace downstairs. In quite a number of different tracks as well. It seems pretty clear to me, that you're very... athletically inclined."
 
Applejack lifted her head. "So... yer in need of mah brawn, rather than mah apples, right?"
 
"Nothing against your apples. As a matter of fact, I might still be able to extend a deal to your company, depending on your... willingness."
 
There was another bout of silence. The orange equine chewed on the straw in her mouth for a bit, before she finally replied. "Ah'm still listenin'. Keep goin'."
 
The Commander nodded. "Okay then... yes, you're correct. I am in need of your martial prowess. I... manage a taskforce based inside of Metropony City, known as MARE. We are tasked with keeping the inhabitants of Metropony City, and by extension all citizens of Equestria, safe from forces who would do harm to those innocent ponies. We are a public entity, though we are separate from the Metropony police department. I've come here to you in person, by myself, to make an open and honest offer to you. You are... exactly what we look for, in an agent of MARE."
 
She leaned forward, her golden eyes aligning as she fixed the mare across the table from her with a gaze. "Applejack... I think I speak for everypony at MARE, and in Equestria when I say... we would be honored if you joined us, and helped keep Equestria safe."
 
Applejack was very quiet as she took in the expression on the blonde pony's face. She didn't say anything for a bit, instead opting to lean back and tilt her hat down to cover her eyes, lapsing into thought. After a minute, Derpy opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by the farmpony raising her hoof for silence.
 
A point finally came when her drawl sounded again. "Ah've heard of your people. Ah listen to th' news when Ah can... Ah'd be a bad business pony otherwise... but what Ah hear 'bout you folks seems to keep seesawin' back and forth between peacekeepers, and undercover vigilantes-fer-hire."
 
The pegasus resisted the urge to bite her lip. "Up until the new arrival of Nightmare Moon, we had been keeping ourselves off the public radar, yes. That was only accounting for the known circumstances at the time however. That is behind us now, and we operate fully and freely with the permissions and blessings of the Metropony city council, and Metropony police." After having met Carrot earlier that day, these words flowed much smoother and more assuredly than she thought they would have.
 
Applejack made a 'hum' noise. "And those two superheroes Ah keep hearin' about?"
 
"Harpflank and Sweets." she nodded. "Our key field agents. Not to mention your new companions and squadmates, should you choose to join."
 
The orange mare crossed her forelegs together, hat dipping back down over her eyes as she lapsed into thought again. "So let me git this straight... you came all th' way out here to th' boonies, from Metropony city, armed with nothin' but muffins an' a smile, precisely to ask me, th' head of Apples Inc, to join yer independent organization that's dedicated to protectin' Equestria, by fightin' monsters?"
 
"It had been about more giant robots before." the Commander answered with a straight face. "'Monsters', quote unquote, are a new thing."
 
There was no reply. A silence settled around them once more. The low light and still air were beginning to reach Ditzy, but she did not flinch. She knew that in her own office, she had the cold, glaring lights installed specifically to unnerve any ponies with questionable loyalties, not to mention half a dozen other little hidden tricks, should the need arise. I hope they're doing okay back at the towers. Hope they haven't had any problems since I left.
 
At length, the hat was lifted again. One green eye peered out as she asked. "What's th' timeframe?"
 
That threw Ditzy for a loop. "Timeframe?"
 
The eye narrowed, her expression souring. "So it's a contractual thing, then?"
 
“Y-yes. Our agents work on a yearly contract basis."
 
She was silent for only a few seconds more, before she hefted herself onto all four hooves as she answered flatly. "Sorry. No can do."
 
The grey mare sputtered, her wings flapping wilding for a second "W-wait! I don't understand, why—"
 
"Timeframes." the farmpony replied. "Yer askin' me to spend more than a month away from th' farm at a time. More than that..." she turned to fix her with a steely-eyed gaze. "Yer askin' me to move away from mah family. Ah dunno exactly what kinda things you've had to put up with in your line of work Miss Doo, but if yer smart, putting anything... between me, and my family... is th' last thing that you'll ever want to do."
 
That was the closest thing to a threat that Ditzy had heard out of Applejack since she had first met her. Up to that point, she had seemed amicable enough. Bared for her now however, was the farm mare's pure resolve and determination. If anything, it only cemented the blonde pegasus's belief, that this was the pony she had been looking for.
 
Which was why she did not flinch in the wake of those words. Instead she settled back down, folding her wings by her sides, before fixing the farmpony with her odd gaze.
 
"Your family means a lot to you." she spoke. It was not a question, nor was it a threat in of itself. Just an honest observation.
 
Applejack returned her gaze, before heaving a sigh and looking down, taking off her hat. "They mean th' whole world to me. But Ah can only do so much. You saw what happened earlier, b'tween me and Applebloom... because Ah spend so much time managin' th' company and sales, Ah don't get to spend nearly as much time with mah family... with mah little sis... as a big sister should. As a result, she an' Ah've sort of... drifted apart..."
 
She then raised her head back up, facing the grey mare again. "An' that's why Ah need every spare moment that Ah can get, with mah family. And that's why... Ah'm afraid Ah'm gonna have to turn down your offer. It's no offense to you, or to your organization... Ah just have more important commitments here, at home."
 
Derpy returned her gaze. Thought for a second more. Her eyes realigned again as she tilted her head. "I understand... but are you sure there isn't some way I can get you to reconsider?"
 
This time, it was Applejack who seemed slightly confused. She raised an eyebrow, thinking again, before narrowing her eyes again. "There's somethin' you're not tellin' me, is there, sugarcube?"
 
Here it was then. Probably the hardest selling point... and the most important reason that she be recruited into MARE. She didn't waste a second.
 
"What would you say if I told you that I had Celestia-signed documentation that you are in fact, a present-day reincarnation of one of the six Elements of Harmony?"
 
The orange pony stared for all of five seconds, before barking out a laugh, which instantly became a steady guffawing. It continued for a good half a minute, during which time the commander kept her face impassive and stern. As AJ finally wound down, she glanced at her guest's expression, and slowly came back to ground as realizations began to set in. "Yer serious, aren't you?"
 
"I don't tend to joke about the Elements of Harmony, no."
 
She shook her head. "Ah'm sorry miss Doo, but that's a load of horseapples. Ah ain't no risen Dire Horse. Sure Ah got a few fancy medals and trinkets, but Ah'm just a businessmare, tryin' to carry on mah family's legacy. Ah'm just a regular pony."
 
"You're also a beacon of honesty. You can tell when other ponies are lying, can't you?" Ditzy pressed on. "You could tell I was holding something back before. Look at me. Do I look like I'm lying to you?"
 
She looked at her. She looked at her long and hard. Again, the pegasus found that tingle dancing up and down her spine, the one that told her that she was being observed like never before. The sensation remained even as the apple pony raised a hoof to her chin and stroked it, squinting an eye at her equine of study.
 
At length it passed, and she relaxed. "As far as you know... yer not." she answered. "You believe that it's true, with every fiber of yer being. That's powerful strong. Belief like that is somethin' to be proud of, Ah reckon."
 
Derpy sensed a 'but' in there. "But?" she voiced, already expecting the worst.
 
"But... just because you believe it's true... doesn't mean that it is." Applejack finished, heaving a sigh and placing her hat back upon her head. "Ah'm sorry sugarcube, but mah answer is still no. An' unless you've got some of that Celestia-signed documentation on you right now, then Ah'm afraid your story is gonna be just that... a story."
 
Of course she didn't have it on her. The grey pony sighed, her wings drooping, as she realized that for all intents and purposes, her mission had been a failure. Rather than continue her crusade however, she nodded gracefully. "Very well, Miss Applejack. If that is your decision... then I shan't waste any more of your time."
 
She bowed to her, and then knelt down to retrieve her muffin basket, before making a beeline for the office door. Before she could exit however, AJ spoke up yet again. "Wait so... that's it? Yer just gonna walk all th' way back to Metropony City?"
 
"That was the plan, yes."
 
The farmmare motioned over her shoulder to the window, and the setting sun outside. "But there ain't much daylight left."
 
Ditzy shrugged. "I'll be okay. I've been through worse than a walk in the dark."
 
"Now hooooold on there." Suddenly she had an orange mare in front of her, holding her still with a hoof on her shoulder. "Now, Ah might not be agreein' with you on all counts, but Ah'd be a bad host if Ah just let you go after all yer trouble. Why don't you stay fer th' night? Ah can promise you a good breakfast, after those muffins you brought over. Plus, you did speak of... other opportunities, didn'tcha?"
 
The pegasus looked up into those earnest green eyes. It was remarkable how swiftly she'd undergone the change, from comforting hospitality, to calculating businesspony, and then back again. Biting her lip, the commander looked off to the side. "I don't want to be any more of a bother..."
 
"Eh, you ain't bein' a bother, sugarcube. If y’were, you woulda been off th' acres by now." Applejack offered her a gentle smile, tilting her hat back to better look at her guest. "C'mon. Rest yer head here fer a night. We'll talk more in th' mornin', and then we'll send you on yer way fully rested and fed. How 'bout it?"
 
She bowed her head in thought, as an idea came to her. She was being offered the chance to stay here longer. The longer she stayed here, the better her chances of changing her host's mind. Plus, it would give her the time she needed, to plan her next move. There was also the nice little benefit of not having to return to her office until quite possibly noon tomorrow. A prospect that she latched onto.
 
"Well... if you're sure... then okay." she replied, looking back up.
 
"Terrific! Ah'll go an' get th' guest room set up then, get you nice an' cozy. Dinner'll prob’ly be ready in a couple of hours. If you liked apples before, just wait till you have a taste of Granny Smith's apple pie!"
 
Derpy chuckled a bit, before bringing a hoof to her mouth. "O-oh, would it be okay if I stepped out and got my own bedding? You know how us pegasi are with our clouds and all."
 
"Sure thing, Miss Doo, Ah understand. Just don't take too long! Like Ah said earlier, odd things've been happening out there at night."
 
"I remember." Her eyebrows furrowed a bit as the both of them exited the room. "What kind of things, exactly?"
 
“Strange noises, mostly. Every now an' then Ah think Ah hear a timberwolf howlin'. Noises like a herd of sheep dancin' all at once. An' one time, Ah swear to Luna, Ah even heard what sounded like th' humming of th' biggest hummingbird Ah ever heard!"
  

------------------------

 
Elsewhere on the acres, a portly pink pig buzzed its wings furiously to drink from an industrial-sized hummingbird feeder hanging down into its pen.
 
Applebloom's secret base was quiet aside from the buzz. The lights were low, and the colored sheep were asleep. The chickens had all retreated into their henhouse for the night, and the snake...
 
The snake was awake.
 
The snake was also hungry.
 
This was somewhat unusual in the serpentine animal's mind. A meal would usually last it for days on end, and it had just eaten today. True, the food had been different, but it had a strange appeal to it. Normally, it shouldn't have been so hungry again so soon.
 
And yet here it was, prowling the four corners of its enclosure, searching for sustenance. It had partaken of the water bowl, but there would be no filling of its stomach there. Driven by a hunger of a scale unknown to it before, it proceeded to do the one thing it never had need to do before. Go hunting.
 
It took little effort to scale the wall of its pen, bringing its neck to rest upon the edge and search its surroundings. There had to be something, anything, that could fill its stomach...
 
There. The hopping and fluttering motions of the humming pig caught its eye. Big, round, and plump. It would doubtless fill the gnawing void in its belly, and last it for weeks besides. Catching it would be easy, distracted as it was already.
 
The hopping humming pig wasn't even aware as the snake slid across the hall and into its own pen, its snout still greedily slurping at the feeder. One can't really blame it for letting out a loud squealing whistle as it was yanked from its perch at the spout, suddenly finding itself halfway inside the snake's super-extended mouth, wings and legs flailing to no avail.
 
The snake would have grinned if it could. Such a large feast, waiting right there and so easily obtained. If only all prey could be caught so easily. It could just already taste the-
 
It blanched.
 
The next thing the humming pig knew, it was ejected from the snake's mouth, sent rolling into an empty corner, where it quickly curled up shivering, half-coated with spit, beady eyes watching its devourer for any further attempts on its life.
 
It needn’t have worried. The snake was too busy combing its forked tongue with its tail, trying to rinse the taste away. Apparently the flutter-pig had tasted absolutely horrible. Meaty things didn't appeal to it at all anymore. Instead, the only thing that would have to do was...
 
It sniffed the air. Followed its nose. An aroma similar to the food that it had earlier today... the scent of apples... led it over to the far wall, where the pig's wooden trough sat, currently half-full of leftover apple mash. It only needed to taste the paste once, before it dove its head in, mouth open wide to take in as much as it can.
 
The winged porcine stared in disbelief as it watched this would-be predator scarf down the remainder of its own leftovers. As the snake proceeded to scrape the bottom of the trough, the pig had to blink a few times. Was it its imagination, or did the snake seem... bigger than it had a few seconds before?
 
The scaly creature raised its head up from the trough and licked its lips, before leaning back down to give the wood making up the stand a good taste... and then opening its mouth wide to swallow the trough whole, much to the humming-pig's shock.
 
The snake wasn't even sated yet. It now knew that fruit and vegetation were what agreed with it, and that the hunger it had, even after that latest meal, still pounded unabated in its belly. The only thing that it knew, was that it had to keep eating, in hope that the hunger would finally be sated.
 
And from its point of view, everything looked like lunch.
 

------------------------

 
BonBon rested quietly on an apple tree branch, eyes closed. It was almost 5 minutes past the 40 since she had called in, and she was simply counting down the seconds.
 
At 45 minutes on the dot, her ears perked up, as she finally heard the swift beat of her partner's hoofsteps rapidly approaching her position. In an instant, another costumed mare landed on the same branch right beside her, the nanosuit's visor retracting to reveal Lyra's sheepish face. "Sorry about that. Tripped on a telephone line on the way over."
 
The earth pony shook her head. "You always trip on something that makes you exactly 5 minutes late, you know." she admonished, though she still kept a smile upon her face.
 
The unicorn grinned in turn, before looking out at the surrounding orchard. "So, what's been going on out here?"
 
"Not a lot to report, really. The Commander went inside with the target, and hasn't come back out yet. I can assure you she's in no danger. I did get a glimpse of her sharing tea with Applejack and some of her family members."
 
"Family? Who exactly?"
 
"Well, she has a grandmother, by name of Granny Smith. and a younger sister, Applebloom. She and her sister also seemed to have some sort of disagreement during tea. I saw her run out of the house not long before they broke up."
 
"Applebloom..." Lyra rolled the name around on her tongue for a bit, something registering at the back of her mind. "That name is ringing a bell... but I can't remember where."
 
"You too?" BonBon shook her head. "I coulda sworn I'd heard it before too, but I don't know for the life of me where from."
 
There were a few more seconds of thoughtful silence, before Harpflank spoke again. "And the Commander? You haven't seen or heard her since?"
 
“Nuh-uh. I assume they went deeper into the house to discuss things."
 
"Do you really think she'll go for it? I mean, just... telling her what we're about, what's at stake, and all that?"
 
"I don't know. But I think we can rely on the Commander to lay it out straight for her. After all, she did say that-"
 
They both stopped and perked their ears as they heard footsteps coming their way. They sat in total stillness and silence, as the source of the noise finally made it into view, revealing itself to be none other than Commander Derpy. The pegasus for her part, looked back and forth over both shoulders, making sure of her privacy, before proceeding to whistle out a tune taken from the opening of some little filly's cartoon show.
 
Recognizing the signal, Lyra and BonBon nodded to each other, before hopping down from their perch and galloping over in front of their superior, standing to and saluting. "Harpflank and Sweets reporting, Commander!"
 
“At ease." Derpy told them, before collapsing on her seat. "It's been a long day."
 
"You're telling me." Sweets commented, stretching a hindleg and wincing as joints popped. "I've been sitting in an apple tree for the past three hours straight."
 
"How'd it go?" the green pony instantly asked, leaning forward eagerly. "Is she in? I mean, she's the last pony on the list, so she's GOTTA be in for it, right?!... right?"
 
Ditzy's expression told them all that they needed to know. "She turned you down?" BonBon quietly asked.
 
"She had problems with the position, yes." their friend clarified. "She was listening up until the point where I stated it was a yearly contract. Spending time on-base would take away from all her other obligations, including her most important one. Family."
 
Both mares shuffled their feet. "Well... I can't really argue with that..." Lyra admitted. "B-But what about the Element connection?"
 
"Well when I mentioned that she might be an Element of Harmony, she simply broke out laughing. She told me she'd need to see documentation signed by Celestia herself before she'd believe it."
 
"We have that, don't we?" BonBon asked. "Back at the Towers?"
 
"We do. Which is why we still have a chance." Derpy's face changed to a look of determination. "We have a lucky break. Applejack insisted that I go ahead and stay for the night. She didn't want me about the farm after dark, even if I was just leaving. Said she'd been hearing a lot of strange noises."
 
“Strange noises, huh?" The unicorn rubbed her hooves together. "Sounds like my kind of mystery."
 
"Thought that might interest you. Since I appear to have the both of you here, here's what I want you to do. BonBon, I need for you to head back to Celestia Towers, and retrieve the documentation and bring it here. Lyra, you scout the Acres and see if you can pinpoint the source of these noises Applejack's talking about. We'll then meet back up, and I'll introduce the two of you to her, and the documentation, all at the same time. Hopefully, that'll make a real impression on her, enough so that she might reconsider joining with us."
 
Both agents nodded at her, and saluted. "Consider it done, Commander." Sweets stated, looking visibly relieved. "Where're the papers being kept?"
 
"In my office." Derpy said simply. "You'll find it in the stack underneath the picture of me holding my trophy for the world Pumpkin-Soda-Making competition. Next to my desk."
 
Lyra blanched, sweating visibly. "A-ah, right, the office... y-yeah..."
 
The pegasus blinked. "You girls are keeping good care of my office while I'm gone, aren't you?"
 
“O-oh, sure we are!" she suddenly panicked. "Everything's going smoothly, heh! Nooo problems or mishaps or explosions or what-have-you!"
 
BonBon simply sighed, before nodding to her commanding officer. "Noted, Commander. I'll be back as soon as I can."
 
"Very well then you two. Dismissed! Now in the meantime, if you'll excuse me..." the grey pegasus took to her wings, crossed eyes now searching the sky. "I've gotta go find my bed for tonight."
 
They saluted again to her as she flew off, before turning to one another. "I'm not gonna find it under the trophy picture, am I?" the earth pony asked.
 
"Pumpkin-soda-making contest?" was all Lyra had to reply with. "Is that what the Commander's cutie-mark means? She makes soda?"
 
"Lyra." Her friend brought her attention back. "Where are all the papers now?"
 
"Oh, I-I think they're all on the desk now. Rarity cleaned the place up before Vinyl went and blew up Bubb-mmPHGh!" Her sentence went uncompleted as her muzzle was clamped shut, her partner frantically scouring the sky to see if their superior had overheard.
 
"Not a WORD of this, until I get back, clear? When I arrive there, I'm going to do my best to make sure the Commander's office and all her belongings are back where they were, before I leave, and especially before she gets back. Until then, you're not to say a word about Bubbles or papers or the office until I'm back, okay?" she whispered frantically, locking eyes with the unicorn to drive the message home.
 
She could only nod, prompting her release. She took a second to work her jaw and stretch her neck, cracking a few joints. "Sheesh... give a mare a little warning next time, eh?"
 
BonBon merely rolled her eyes. "You big baby. Okay, I'm off. Remember, not a word, and keep things quiet, okay? We don't need a huge commotion out here if we can possibly avoid it."
 
"Hey, I've got it, Bons." Lyra spread her forelegs wide. "Not a peep. You know me, right?"
 
"Yes, I do. And that's exactly what I'm afraid of." the Earth pony let slip, before launching herself off at an extreme-speed gallop. Even then, her partner could still make out the faint glimpse of a smile upon her lips.
 

------------------------

 
"Are you sure about this?"
 
"Well... she is the only ranking officer pony left."
 
"Oh, I know, just think that this... uhm... isn't that good an idea."
 
Rarity looked askance at Fluttershy's words, before turning her attention back to the pony sitting at the big desk in front of them. All about there, cleaning crew ponies were fastidiously working on the burn marks on the walls, one pony hurriedly pressing plaster onto the hole in the ceiling. All of this was ignored by Nurse Redheart, who was currently glaring at a piece of paperwork as if it were a vicious parasprite that had just called her mother something vulgar.
 
"Surely, there shouldn't be anything to worry about!" the unicorn spoke again. "As you've professed and everypony's seen, Ms. Redheart is one of the most levelheaded ponies in the whole of the MARE organization. We should be in good hooves with her at the head!"
 
Redheart glanced up at those words, her expression unreadable, before returning to the paper.
 
"O-oh, yes, she's very professional." Fluttershy agreed, bowing her head and peering out of her mane with one eye. "It's just that, well, when it comes to being the head of an operation, as opposed to being head of medical... well, I don't mean to speak ill of any pony whatsoever, but-"
 
"Pen."
 
The word, spoken in a voice crafted from red velvet cake, was toned in the same way a surgeon would say ‘Scalpel.’ The pegasus sprung into action, fluttering up onto the desk and retrieving a pen from a '#1 Soda' mug on the far end. She then pivoted on the spot, placing it quickly into an outstretched and waiting hoof. The nurse, in turn, stuck it into her own mouth, before bearing down and scribbling underneath the fine print.
 
Returning to Rarity's side, Shy then proceeded to ask, "What papers is she signing right now anyways?"
 
"Oh, that one is on the bill for rights for maintaining an armed airforce hangar inside civilian city limits," the dressmaker answered. Her horn lit up and levitated a few more sheets up, placing them before their temp boss as she finished writing on her current document. "This one is on screening ammunition processes for any new shipments coming in. And this one, is a proposal for a MARE-funded reconstruction branch for Metropony itself!"
 
The yellow pony simply nodded as she watched her superior scribble away in no-nonsense fashion. At length, after five pieces of paper were processed, the unicorn levitated one of the pages over, so they could both see what had been written.
 
Rarity blanched.
 
"O-oh... my," Fluttershy stated.
 
There could be no denying that Redheart's mouthwriting was as beautiful as her voice, every letter scrawled in elegant cursive. It was simply the fact that for the reconstruction branch proposal, she had written 'Take two ibuprofen before construction. Ear and eye protection prescribed for all involved workers.'
 
They looked at each other. Another paper was levitated over, the one on the ammunition-screening process. 'Prescription relaxant to calm jittery hooves. Appointments scheduled Mondays 9 to 12.'
 
The last piece of paper, the one on the bill for rights, made both ponies blanch once more. ‘Prescribing two 0.55 caliber aluminum bullets to left temple. Call Peaceful Pastures funeral home after application.'
 
"They... th-they're all written like... medical prescriptions!" Rarity exclaimed, looking in shock back and forth between the words on the paper before her, and the mare sitting at the desk who had written them.
 
Redheart, for her part, returned the look and removed the pen from her mouth, before speaking once more, her semisweet voice now in a flat tone. "I'm a doctor, not a lawyer."
 
"I told you," the pegasus added.
 
Before anything else could be said, there was a sound of scrabbling hooves right outside the office door. The knob twitched a few times, before finally admitting a thoroughly winded BonBon, her helmet visor retracted and allowing the ponies present to see her frantic eyes. Eyes which were now going over every detail of the room like a fine-tooth comb.
 
"Oh my Celestia, Lyra wasn't kidding! Seriously?!" she blurted. "You couldn't keep the Commander's office intact for one day?"
 
"Don't blame any of us, dearie." the unicorn replied. "Vinyl's the one who left this sorry state, though I can tell you she had only the best inten—"
 
"Nevermind, that's not important right now." The earth pony took her helmet off and stomped over to the pile of papers on the desk, not noticing Redheart studying her with a critical eye. "Is all the paperwork still here? I need the documentation on the existence of the original Elements of Harmony that was officially signed by Celestia, and I need it fast."
 
There was a silence. Rarity shifted her hooves, before finally clearing her throat. "Was... was that in a folder, or a scroll?"
 
She threw her hooves up. "She didn't say! All she told me was that it'd be underneath the picture of her with her soda trophy!" She glanced over at said picture, which was currently hanging askew on its nail, the patch of floor underneath it quite bare.
 
The white pony hummed and hawed yet again. "Then I believe I may have sorted it out of the proposals... aaaand into the Archives downstairs then..."
 
BonBon stared levelly, her expression quickly degenerating from 'frustrated' to 'about to throw a fit'. "The Archives? You mean that entire floor full of metal cabinets that takes forever to sort through, cause of that Celestia-damned octal sorting system—?!"
 
The nurse pony leaned over and poked her gently on the neck, which had the effect of the heroine's face relaxing, before her eyes rolled up in their sockets, the mare quietly collapsing onto the ground, blissfully unconscious.
 
Rarity and Fluttershy simply stared in shock, as Redheart stepped down from the chair, and placed BonBon inside of it. She then proceeded to leave the office, walking between the two and pausing long enough to say. "Take two hours naptime, and call me in the morning."
 

------------------------

 
Derpy fidgeted in her chair, quietly eating her slice of apple pie. It wasn't the fact that the company was unpleasant, far from it. It was more the fact that some of it was almost entirely too pleasant.
 
For she had finally been introduced to Big Macintosh, the big red stallion sitting straight across the table from her. He had proven to be a simple conversationalist, but the sheets filled with number figures that he had handed off to his sister, proved that he was no mental slouch. It also helped that he was like rock candy for the eyes.
 
"S-so," she began, glancing back and forth between the stallion and her plate. "You're... p-pretty good with numbers, I take it?"
 
"Eeee-Yup."

"Big Macintosh has more of a head fer numbers than Ah do." Applejack admitted, mouth half-full of apple crisp. "Ah can tell yah, the Acres wouldn't be where it is t'day if it weren't for him."
 
"Mind yer manners, young lady." Granny scolded her granddaughter, before turning to their guest with something of a glint in her eye. "Taking an interest in my grandson, are you, Miss Hooves? Ah can personally vouch that he'd be a great addition to any... 'venture' that you have in mind."
 
Both the pegasus and stallion flushed heavily at the implication, while Applebloom simply made a face, digging into her own apple fritter. "Ignore her, she's always doin' that to any mare who talks to Big Bro."
 
"G-granny, please." AJ scolded back, swallowing her mouthful. "Derpy's stayin' fer th' night, let's not go an' rile her up any."
 
"I'm still a bit speechless about your hospitality." Ditzy replied, looking up at the orange mare. "I told you that I'd be alright going back home by myself."
 
"Ah, fergit about it. You went to th' trouble of bringin' those muffins fer us, it's th' least we could do. An' Ah think that advertisin' deal you brought up would be pretty feather in our cap too, so at least you ain't goin' back empty-hooved."
 
They're emptier than I would have liked. she thought to herself. But you've gotta roll with the punches. Besides that, this dinner... these ponies... it's almost like living back in Carrot's house. If they're willing to let me indulge staying out of the office for a bit longer, then indulge I shall.
 
"Ah told you b'fore, AJ, no shop talkin' at dinner." the elderly mare stated. "It's bad enough you an' Mac have to run your mouths off 'bout sales every time you come together. Specially you, Mac. Sometimes Ah swear yah shoulda been born with an 'off' switch."
 
Derpy turned to face the colt, who could only give her a shrug in response. She gave a nervous laugh, before continuing. "E-either way, I hear you, Granny Smith. No talking business at the table. Sorry about that. Besides, it'd be a shame to let this pie go to waste!" She eagerly tucked in another bite. It was a dutch apple pie with crumb topping, a texture she'd always found appealingly muffin-like.
 
Applebloom found reason to smile. "Do y'all like it? Granny let me help with th' crust!"
 
"It's delicious." she replied back with an equal grin. "I don't get to eat a lot of home-cooked food like this on the job. Usually it's just my muffins and me. But I've... kinda come to learn that a mare cannot live on muffins alone."
 
There was a round of agreements from all ponies present, before the sounds of dinner washed back over them. It was a pleasant, companionable silence which she found herself simply basking in. She became aware at length though, of eyes upon her. A quick glance caught the orange mare keeping her eyes on her, before quickly looking back away.
 
She decided to attempt to kindle some sort of conversation. "So, Applejack... with a business and tight family like this, I can't imagine you being without a few very close friends!"
 
The aforenamed mare lifted her head. "Well... Ah try to get to know all mah workers... and Ah've at least had a couple of friendly outs with some business partners in th' past... but as for like, just spendin' idle time, well, family comes first there. Ah'm afraid Ah've, never really had any relations with ponies outside that didn't have a professional side to it... though..."
 
For a second, Applejack's gaze drifted off into the distance. "There was one year, when I was competin' in an Iron Pony competition... Ah met a pegasus there, and we hit it right off... but we went our separate ways afterwards. An' that was so long ago, Ah think Ah've fergotten her name..."
 
"Ah remember you talkin' 'bout her." Applebloom piped up. "Said that she gave you a run fer yer money, an' that you'd havetah train if you ran intah her again!"
 
She rubbed her chin in thought. "Ah did say that, didn't I? Perhaps Ah oughta actually do it too, if she's gonna show up at this year's."
 
"Oh, Ah can help!" the yellow pony hopped up from her seat. "Ah could like, build you an exercisin' machine that'd work every muscle in yer body! Ah've already got a prototype drawin' fer a contortionist machine upstairs that Ah could adapt, no problem!"
 
"Now Bloom—" Applejack began, only to be cut off by Derpy raising her hoof, looking at her with a look that said 'Humor me.'
 
"You know," she started. "You really do seem to have a mind for mechanics. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions, Applebloom?"
 
The filly cocked her head, a bit surprised that someone was showing interest in her interests. However, she answered with a curious tone. "S-shore thing Miss Ditzy. What'cha want to know?"
 
The pegasus leaned back in her chair. "Suppose I had a warehouse that was full of old and broken-down robots that had been collected over the years. How could I make use of them?"
 
Applebloom's eyes widened as she perked her head up. "Robots? Well, er, dependin' on th' damage, and if they were all th' same kind of robot, Ah suppose a pony could cannibalize a few of them to fix the rest up, good as new!"
 
"Ahh, of course." Ditzy nodded. "However, what say if they were originally war bots, and I wanted to repurpose them to be used for good instead?"
 
She had to think a little harder on that. "Well... Ah dunno, if yah take th' guns off an' reprogram them, they could do almost anythin', like... maybe buckin' trees fer apples? Oh, Ah know! Hazardous terrain remotes! Just link a pony on one end, an' have them control th' robot to go into places too dangerous for regular ponies!"
 
"Now that's some smart thinking!" the pegasus smiled, leaning back forward. "Now... here's a different question. Let's say, I had a base, that was being invaded by a group of ponies that were wearing nanosuits. What would be the best way to defend against these ponies?"
 
"Hmmm... Ah think Ah would have an EMP set up to go off all across th' base, to disable the suits."
 
"Ahh, but I have computers with sensitive information on-base. How would I protect them from an EMP burst?"
 
"Simple, Faraday Cages. They'll take th' charge and disperse it like it was nothin', leavin' yer computers nice an' safe!"
 
The grey pony nodded again. "That sounds quite good indeed. I'll have to look into that after I get back home. Now then..." she leaned in quite close this time, almost conspirationally, the yellow filly leaning in almost as much. "Tell me... how many uses can you think of, for a stormneto-hydrocyclic magifusion-bottle generator, with a two-hundred-percent liquid rainbow concentrate core?"
 
Applebloom's eyes became quite wide, as she digested that. "A-a stormneto-... l-liquid rainbow-... wh-why golly, you could do almost anythin' with somethin' like that! Like, you could run a robot off of that and it'd never have to recharge for even a year, o-or use it to power a spaceship an' make a trip to th' moon in no time flat, or, wow, just hookin' it up to a gun an' makin' it fire would make bullets that'd fly so fast, they'd cause Sonic Rainbooms!”
 
Derpy only smiled. "It sure would, wouldn't it?"
 
"Whoo golly" Granny Smith stated, causing everypony to look at her. "All this technomababble has got me head spinnin'."
 
"Sorry 'bout that, Granny." the young pony apologized, rubbing the back of her head. "Ah just... don't get to talk tech much with anypony else, beside mah friends." She then proceeded to turn back to the blonde pegasus. "But hang on... Ah don't get it. Weren't you tellin' me b'fore, that 'Simple is Best'?"
 
Ditzy looked down at the last of her pie and heaved a sigh. "Simple means a lot less complications. Simple means straightforward. And sometimes, simple really is the best answer. I always try to find the simplest means... but sometimes, what's really needed to carry through the day, is anything but simple..."
 
She then blinked, realized that everypony was staring at her. She flushed, shaking her mane. "Augh, sorry, I shouldn't be bringing the mood down. I'm your guest after all. A-and you did say not to talk shop at the table, right?"
 
“Eeee-Yup." Big Macintosh replied, giving the mare a simple smile. She couldn't help but flush lightly at this, before straightening up.
 
"Okay, yeah, no more shop talk. Again, thank you all very much for having me tonight. I'm not sure how I can repay you all for your hospitality... but I'll think of something! Honest!"
 
This was met with nods and chuckles from around the table, though Applejack herself was left silent, as the word continued to echo across her mind.
 

------------------------

 
Darkness had fallen upon Sweet Apple Acres. Dinnertime had ended without much fuss, and now various members of the Apple family were unwinding peacefully inside the big red barnhouse. Outside, the trees stood silent and stoic, as they had for countless years beforehoof. The night passed on around them, breeze whistling, insects chirping...
 
And hoofsteps pounding quietly, as Lyra dashed from branch to branch, her eyes constantly and vigilantly scanning her surroundings, assisted by moonlight. She had been patrolling the acres for a few good hours now, and she had yet to even cover the entire orchard. Just how does she harvest all these apples? Not all by herself, I hope!
 
The place was enormous. She was beginning to wonder if she would ever cover the entire acreage before BonBon got back, or even before the sun rose. The trees seemed to go on forever, and thus far had hid nothing within their numerous branches. No sign of mischief or noises thus far...
 
Until she found herself leaping out of one of the trees, out into an immense clearing. She sailed through the air and somersaulted once, before landing on the ground flawlessly and standing up to take in her surroundings. She found herself alone in the clearing, the only other occupant being an enormous gnarled tree that stood taller and older than any other in the acreage.
 
The unicorn found herself stepping closer to it. "Woah... now you're a big boy, aren't yah?" she said out loud, craning her head back to see the top. "I bet you've got a perfect view of the whole place up there. Hope you don't mind if I take a seat and give my legs a rest while keeping an eye out, would you?"
 
There wasn't an answer, but she hadn't been expecting one anyway. She crouched down low, preparing to propel herself upwards... when a sudden crash got her attention.
 
She whipped her head left and right, trying to identify the source of the noise, readying herself for a fight if she had to. It sounded again, and this time, she found herself facing the tree itself, a hubbub similar to chairs and tables being tossed around seemingly coming from beneath the tree's roots.
 
"... Aaa-HAH! More to you than meets the eye, eh?" she laughed, quickly dashing to the base of the tree and inspecting the wood with her hooves. "A secret tree base, huh? That would explain 'mysterious' noises! Does the Apple family know you're here? Or are you actually one of their dirty little secrets?"
 
"Doesn't matter to me either way." she continued, circling around the tree until spying what she was looking for. "With tree-bases, there's almost always two ways of getting in. So which are you? Are you a knock... or..." she grinned triumphantly as she tapped a hoof into the spot on the bark. "A knot?"
 
She was rewarded with a portion of the trunk retracting and sliding to the side, a dull light emitting from within. Lyra couldn't help but give a short victory hoof-pump, before proceeding to descend inside.
 
She was greeted with the view of an enormous underground area, a portion of it closed off in darkness while the remaining portion near the staircase remained in light, giving her a sight of parts and pieces of machinery lying about, ranging from simple tools with unexplainable function, to oversized devices with elongated barrels that clearly spoke of very specific functions. A chemistry set the likes of which she'd never seen outside of ExTech sat bubbling in one corner, while in another, a workbench rested with various pieces of armor sat upon it in various states of assembly.
 
It was one of these armor pieces, a helmet in fact, that drew Lyra towards the bench. Upon closer inspection, she found it eerily familiar. It wasn't until she had placed her hoof upon it and turned it to face her, that the sight finally jogged her memory.
 
“This... this looks like the same kind of armor... that the Crusaders use!" she exclaimed, the wheels in her head spinning as she brought her not-oft-utilized brain into play. "Wait a minute... That's it! That's why it sounded so familiar! It's Applebloom!" She lifted the helmet and stared at it as she put the pieces together. "Applebloom is one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
 
The moment was spoiled by a third crash suddenly coming from within the darkened portion of the room. As if on cue, a sudden stampede of livestock emerged from the shadows and towards the staircase, consisting of multi-colored Hewes, a pig with wings, and a number of chickens that left a trail of eggs that gave off an unhealthy glow.
 
"Ru-u-u-un for your li-i-i-ives!" one of the sheep bleated as it nearly ran over Lyra. "It's gonna e-e-e-eat us a-a-a-all!"
 
The motley herd made a mad dash up the steps, leaving the unicorn by herself to face whatever it was that had spooked them all. A hiss that had more volume than it had any right to, sounded way in the back of the shadows, causing her to whip about and ready herself, form posed for a fight.
 
There was the sound of slithering. And then from the dark, emerged a pair of enormous, unblinking reptilian eyes that glowed with an neverending hunger. Eyes that were each as big as a dinnerplate, spaced as far apart from each other as a pony was long. There was a whipping sound, like that of a snake's tongue, tasting the air. The air from outside. Air laced with the scent of apples...
 
Those eyes began to very rapidly advance towards Lyra, who had found the presence of mind to at least mutter.
 
"Oooh... ponyfeathers."
 

------------------------

 
"Granny... can Ah ask yah somethin'?"
 
Granny Smith looked up from the sock that she had been knitting, and into Applejack's eyes. "Well of course, dearie. What's troubling you?"
 
The farmpony took a breath, as she sat down before the fireplace. With Applebloom and Big Macintosh both upstairs in their rooms and their guest having retired for the night, it was only herself and her gran in that Apple Family living room right now. And now, seemed like as good a time as any to ask a question that had been gnawing on her.
 
"Granny... how far back does th' family history go, really?"
 
"Why, generations, well over a hundred years, you know that!" the old green mare laughed, settling back in her rocking chair. "This here house has stood for many many years, built by the first Apple family settlers. Why I reckon, if it hadn't been for this farm, th' city wouldn't even be where it is t'day!"
 
"Yeah... th' city..." she replied, taking off her hat and rubbing her neck, a motion that did not go unnoticed by her elder.
 
"... is there something wrong? Speak yer mind, sprout. It's about our guest upstairs, isn't it?"
 
The orange mare nodded once. "She made me her offer. It woulda had me away from th' farm for too long. So I had to decline. But... something that she said... Ah cain't seem to clear away from mah brain."
 
Granny tilted her head. "What would that be, Jackie?"
 
"... do you know anythin' about th' Elements of Harmony, Granny?"
 
The room became very quiet as the apple matron digested the question. "Well... of course I do, darlin'. Most everypony knows about th' elements. But it's mostly just an ol' mare's tale. Why?" She took a quick glance at the staircase before looking back. "Did that filly say something silly about them?"
 
"Granny, don't be fooled by them eyes." Applejack cautioned. "She's sharper than a sickle at a whetstone convention. She is a businessmare through and through, and when she means business, she really seriously means it. And that's the thing about it." She ran a hoof over her blonde mane. "She mentioned the Elements of Harmony. Said that Ah-... said that they'd been 'reincarnated'... and Ah could tell, Granny. She meant and believed each and every word."
 
Again, Granny went silent for a bit, before speaking again. "And you think Ah might know somethin' that you don't?"
 
"Shucks Granny, you've been around much longer than any other pony Ah know. You've seen a lot of history yourself! Certainly more than me. So, is there anythin' you know 'bout the Elements of Harmony, that Ah don't?"
 
The elderly mare leaned back in her chair again, her granddaughter sitting back and watching her eyes gaze off into the distance as her mind sifted through ages of accumulated memories. It was a good couple of minutes, before she finally opened her mouth again.
 
"Way back when Ah was a filly... even younger than Applebloom... back when they had just taken down that ancient sweet bakery shop to build a new one... Ah seem to recall mah great great Grandpa Applebuck, talkin' to me about how some of th' most famous heroes came from th' Apple Family... Johnny Appleseed went and founded Manehattan... Peach Plum started a whole new legacy over th' seas... and that one of our very own, was in fact, an Element of Harmony."
 
A chilling sensation went down Applejack's back. "One of our own? A-an Apple, you mean? Did... did that really happen?"
 
Granny Smith took a few seconds to regather her wool, before shaking her head. "Ah cain't rightly tell you... but Ah know how we can find out." She then proceeded to slide out of her chair, testing her hooves before trotting off. "Grab a lantern sugarcube, we're goin' down into th' basement."
 
The statement caught her by surprise, but she didn't argue, as she knew where her granny was going with this. A minute later found the both of them deeper inside the family house's foundation, a basement mirroring the barn's footprint in width and length that was filled wall to wall with shelves and boxes full of photo albums, records, and trophies collected during the Apple clan's many long years.
 
"Now... where to start?" the elder of the two pondered, as she meandered over to a nearby shelf. "1921? Oh good heavens no, that would be when the farm was first founded! Hmmm, 1983? That sounds a bit closer to the mark, I think. Ah know th' latest would be 2182, that's 'bout th' year that dear old bakery was torn down. Let's see..."
 
She grabbed an album with the appropriate year dated on it, and took it over to a nearby table where Applejack had placed the lamp, in order to browse. The farmpony for her part, scanned across numerous tomes, the whole of the family's history, left undisturbed for generations, many of them thick with dust and yellowed with age. At length, she herself grabbed an album of her own, pausing only to sneeze once or twice from the cloud of dust she'd stirred, before looking down at the year.
 
2010. For some reason, that just sounded... right.
 
She joined her granny at the table, and opened it up. At once she was amazed by how similar the picture of the farm embedded in those pages, were to the farm as she knew it right now. Some of the photos were faded of color unsurprisingly, and many contained buildings she'd never seen before. Thatched-roof cottages, a fancy carousel-type place, and at least one that seemed to be a tree with windows in it.
 
She flipped another page. And she stopped and stared.
 
For staring back at her was a picture of a farmpony who was orange, freckled, blonde-maned and green-eyed, exactly like herself. She was looking at her reflection, all the way down to the hat on her head.
 
"Land's sakes..." she heard over her shoulder. Granny Smith had spied what her granddaughter had found, and had to stare herself. "Applejack... what does her name read, at th' bottom?"
 
She read the name off, her own voice sounding a little hollow to herself. "... Applejack."
 
"Mercy me.. I had figured that names were bound to repeat over th' years, but this is just... just..." the elder mare trailed off, unable to find more words.
 
AJ continued to flip through the album. Pictures of this pony's older brother, of her younger sister, and even her own grandmother. Pictures of her in various locales, like the orchard, and even a few that was recognizably Canterlot Castle. It was in one of these shots that made her pause yet again, when she saw that this other her, was not alone in this picture.
 
Five ponies surrounded her, a pair of them being unicorns, another pair being pegasi, and she and a pink mare made up the earth ponies. They were all posing in front of the gate to Canterlot Castle, close to one another and smiling, the pink one in particular waving a hoof exuberantly.
 
“Friends of hers, Ah reckon." the green mare whispered, looking between the picture and Applejack. "They look like they were really close."
 
"... They do." the farmpony whispered in turn, a tear beading in the corner of her eye. "It.. just lookin' at it hurts, Granny, Ah... Ah don't even know these mares, but Ah... I'm hurtin' like Ah’ve missed them for way, way too long... Ah think Ah know who they really are, Granny... Celestia have mercy, she was right."
 
An eyebrow was raised. "Who was right, sugarcube?"
 
"Derpy." Applejack repeated, standing up from her spot, though her eyes never left the page. "Granny... those mares are th' Elements of Harmony... and Ah'm one of them. She was bein' honest with me. Ah really am... th' Element of... Honesty."
 
A long minute passed, where Granny Smith worked her jaw to say something. It was only after she had something come to mind to say, when an enormous crash sounded from somewhere outside.
 

------------------------

 
Big Macintosh and Derpy were the first ones out of the house, standing in the yard and looking out into the expanse of apple trees, as more crashing sounds emitted from deep inside the acreage.
 
Presently, they found themselves accompanied by Applebloom, Applejack, and Granny Smith, the latter hobbling as best she could, trailing behind as the orange mare took point. "Y'all seen anythin' yet?"
 
"Nope." the stallion replied, forelegs set wide. "Gettin' closer though."
 
"W-what do you think it is?" the little filly asked, uncertainty clear in her voice.
 
"It's not Drakmor, King of Frogs, that's for certain." Ditzy replied, eyes and ears on full alert. "Sounds big though. Really, really big." She glanced to the side. "Your mysterious noises, maybe?"
 
"Betcha two barrels of cider it is." AJ replied, before she raised her head and looked back. "Granny, Applebloom, get back inside th' house. Miss Ditzy... y'all alright with helpin' us scope this out?"
 
There was a nod. "I'm with you, Applejack."

"Alright then. Let's go check this out, Mac. Be ready fer anythin'!"
 
"Eee-Yup!" the red stallion replied, before all three ponies proceeded to gallop out through the fence and into the acres proper, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake.
 
Granny Smith watched them run off, hoping the best for them as turned to head back inside the barn. “C'mon Applebloom, we've got a lot t'do. Gotta shore up th' door in case this is anythin' like that time with th' timber—"
 
She looked to her side. Her granddaughter was not there.
 
"Applebloom? Applebloom!" she called out, turning a complete circle as she spied the yellow pony galloping off after the other three adults. "Applebloom, get back here right this instant!"
 
"Sorry Granny!" Bloom called back, not slowing in the slightest. "But they might need mah help! Ah might even get mah cutie-mark fer this!"
 
“You silly little filly, thinkin' about cutie marks at a time like this!" the elderly mare cried out, even as the filly's form receded into the dark distance. "You wait till you come back, no apple pies for a week an' make no mistake!"
 

------------------------

 
The crashing noises were intermittent, but loud enough to direct the three ponies towards them. They were almost on top of the disturbance when Applejack skidded to a stop and held a hoof up, causing the other two to nearly rear-end into her.
 
"Y'all feel that?" she asked, eyes locked dead ahead.
 
Her brother nodded, but Derpy had to blink a few times, eyes scanning the surrounding orchard in moonlight, and the darkness shielded by branches beyond the trees. "F-feel what?" she asked, not liking being left out of the loop.
 
"Th' ground. There's somethin' awful heavy movin' up ahead. It's makin' th' ground vibrate somethin' fierce, an' Big Mac an' I can feel it. Kind of an earth pony thing." She closed her eyes and concentrated on her hooves. "It's crawlin' around. Must not got any legs, whatever it is... though... there's somethin' else... Runnin'. Something... somethin' coming up behind us, quick!"
 
The farmpony's eyes snapped open as she whirled about, readying herself for a fight... only to let out a groan as she saw Applebloom catching up to them, the little pony heaving for breath as she finally arrived. The elder sister trotted forward to her, eyes meeting as she opened her mouth.
 
"Applebloom, what in th' hay do y'think you're doin'?!" she scolded, holding the filly by her shoulders. "It's not safe out here, you should be back at th' house with Granny Smith!"
 
"A-Ah know, but Ah can't just leave you behind, big sis! If somethin' happened to you, Ah could never fergive mahself. Ah really mean it, Applejack!"
 
AJ felt a smile and warmth touch her face for a brief second, before straightening up again. "Ah know, Bloom, Ah know. But if somethin' happened to you out here, Ah wouldn't be able to fergive mahself either. A-Ah know we've had had rough time, lately, but Ah believe you. You're always honest with me, aren't you, Applebloom?"
 
To her surprise, Bloom lowered her head and darted her eyes to the side. "A-Ah... I-If there was ever any reason Ah didn't tell you anythin'..."
 
An eyebrow was perked. "What? What're you talkin' about? What haven't you told me, Apple—"
 
The conversation was cut short, as a noise somewhere between a whistle and a hiss echoed through the orchard. All eyes turned in one single direction, as a whoosh of air sounded.
 
Raising up to tower over the entire acres, was the body and neck of an enormous serpent, the wedge-shaped head silhouetted against the pale circle of the moon itself. A whip-lash crack accompanied its tongue, as it tasted the rich air around it.
 
"I take it you don't get world snakes around here, do you?" Ditzy whispered.
 
“Nnnnope." Macintosh replied, body tense as he kept his eyes locked on the beast.
 
Everything was still for a few seconds, before that head lashed forward impossibly fast, into the field of trees below it. Another crashing sound with splintering wood, and the head raised back up to reveal the prize caught between its fangs. An entire, uprooted apple tree, the roots disappearing quickly as the creature tossed its head back to down the entire thing in one gulp.
 
"IT'S EATIN' MAH APPLE TREES!" Applejack cried out, completely aghast. "WILTSTON! NOOOO!!!"
 
"Th-th... th-that's not possible!" Applebloom stammered beneath her, eyes locked on the snake, recognizing the creature for what it was. "I-it couldn't... I-it shouldn't have even... oh no!" She brought both forehooves to her mouth, color draining from her face. "The Mutagen X!"
 
Derpy's ears perked, as she turned to face the filly. "What was that?" she asked. "Did you say... Mutagen X?"
 
Whatever answer was about to be voiced, was suddenly halted as the enormous snake swiveled its head, and caught sight of the entire group. It then began to close in, its titanic body pushing trees over as it traversed between orchard rows too narrow for it. The whip-lash crack of that tongue again, as it focused on the apple ponies themselves, their bright warm colors looking for all in the world like tasty apples, ready for the eating...
 
It reared its head back to strike... and was then instantly snapped to the side as a teal green projectile rocketed out of the forest, delivering a mach-speed kick to the side of its face.
 
The three apple siblings all gaped in shock at the stranger that had suddenly tackled the creature... and were all the more surprised when Derpy took to her wings, put her hooves around her mouth, and called out "LYRA! TO ME!"
 
The figure raised its head, and then kicked off from the snake's cheek, somersaulting into the air as the pegasus flew in, catching her by the forehooves and lifting her away. The immense reptile recovered from the surprise, and rounded about, eyes narrowing to focus on the airborne pair, body tensing up again for a retaliatory strike.
 
"Commander!" her passenger quipped. "The Gyroscope!"
 
Ditzy nodded, and then proceeded to pump her wings harder, as she spun herself and the unicorn around into a circle, quickly picking up speed. Just as the serpent launched its head forward, she shouted out a "NOW!", before tossing her partner straight at the incoming beast, the latter's hindhoof outstretched.
 
With a 'WHAM', the combined speed of both beings resulted in a solid hoofkick right in the center of the snake's head. With a hiss of pain, the serpent reeled, consciousness fleeing its body temporarily as it crashed backwards, ground shaken by tremors as it finally came to rest.
 
The three apple ponies were left with dropped jaws, as the commander re-collected her friend and flew the both of them back, landing with something of a whumph as her wings collapsed her onto the ground. "Whoosh... and that's why I usually leave the fieldwork to you guys. Give me a nice rifle scope any day, just so long as I don't have to pull stunts like that."
 
"Ah... A-are you really...?" Applejack had to grope for words, as the suited unicorn dusted herself off. "A-Ah know what Miss Ditzy said, but... are you actually..."
 
"Harpflank." Applebloom finished, awe evident in her voice, though it also carried a slightly sour note.
 
The faceplate retracted, to reveal Lyra's grinning face. "Hey there. You're Applejack, right? Been hearing a lot about yah."
 
“Applejack," Ditzy breathed, quickly getting to her hooves and positioning herself between the two ponies. "Allow me to introduce MARE Field Agent 'Harpflank', AKA, Lyra Heartstrings. Lyra, this here, as you've guessed, is Applejack."
 
“Pleased to meet you!" the heroine said, reaching out to shake the apple farmer's hoof. "You know, me and BonBon would've been the ones to visit you, but the Commander said that she wanted to take you on by herself."
 
"A-and boy did she ever!" the blonde mare gushed, the shock of actually meeting one of the heroes of Metropony putting a silly grin on her face as she heartily matched her hoofshakes pound for pound. "It's a mighty fine pleasure to meet cha too, Miss Lyra, A-Ah didn't realize that Miss Ditzy would have one of you mares around, but boy am Ah glad that she did!"
 
"Heeeyeah, like we'd ever let the Commander out of our sight." She turned a fond eye upon her friend, who merely smiled back with her odd little smile. Looking back to the farmer, she then said, in the same tone as before. "Oh also, you guys wouldn't happen to know about any giant tree in a clearing a few meters to the west, that happens to have a huge secret underground base built into it, would you?"
 
Silence fell like a blanket across the whole group, a certain filly's fidgeting going unnoticed. It was broken a few seconds later, by Big Macintosh going "What?"
 
"Yeah, for real, there's this great big underground base, right under that tree! Had these multicolored sheep, chickens that were layin' radioactive eggs, and a flying pig! Not to mention mister tall, dark, and slimy over there." She waved her hoof off in the direction of the downed serpent. "Also had this biiiig workshop bench, with a ton of parts, armor pieces, aannnd..."
 
She paused long enough to un-swing something from her back. a second of unwrapping revealing the helmet she had found earlier to all, making one particular small pony in the back gasp with horror.
 
"Lyra..." Derpy began, both eyes locked on the helmet, her tone serious. "Is that... what I think it is?"
 
“N... n-no!" Applebloom gaped. "Y-you couldn't... you couldn't have!"
 
Lyra tilted her head, and focused on the red-headed pony. "Hmn? Does this look familiar to you, Applebloom? Or should I say... Cutie Mark Crusader?"
 
It was Applejack's turn to gasp, as she looked back and forth between the helmet, and her younger sister. The pegasus herself trotted closer, inspecting the helmet. "Are you certain about this, Lyra? Do you know what this means, if it's true?"
 
"I'm positive." the unicorn replied, before chucking the headgear to roll to Applebloom's hooves, who immediately scooped it up and began inspecting it. "Applebloom is one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders that's given us a lot of trouble over the past few months."
 
"W-wait, what?" the farmpony looked at Ditzy, before turning back to her sister. "What're they sayin', Bloom? That you're some kind of Hooligan?"
 
The yellow pony kept her head down, quiet as the grey mare stepped up, business face on. "I'm sorry, Applejack. But the Cutie Mark Crusaders are wanted for multiple violations of public order. On June 2nd, they disturbed the peace, trespassed and invaded private grounds, committed several acts of wanton destruction, and ultimately disturbed a funeral procession being held on company soil."
 
"You crashed." Lyra found herself repeating. "My funeral."
 
"Is that true, Applebloom?" AJ asked, looking down at the yellow pony with a stern and worried face. She only got silence in response.
 
"And that's not the whole of it. Approximately one month later, the Crusaders were sighted again, this time taking down a construct of their own creation, code-named 'Smarty-Pants', which resulted not only in damage to infrastructure to the city throughout, but also completely destroyed the Davenporeum Building."
 
"Th' Davenporeum!? But that was th' only place where we could get Granny's prescription rockin' chairs!" The mare exploded, now looking down at her sister with an incredulous expression. "Ah oughta ground y'all for a whole year!"
 
"Applejack..." Derpy stepped forward. "These charges... I don't have to tell you, they're all pretty serious... Miss Applebloom here, is up for much more than a year, if the Metropony police have anything to say about it..."
 
Tension suddenly filled the air. Big Macintosh pawed at the ground, while Lyra darted her eyes back and forth. Between them, Applebloom remained seated, cradling the helmet within her hooves. Her sister eventually asked a question, voice all but hoarse. "Applebloom... why'd you do it?"
 
Silence, before the filly looked up, tears streaming down her face. "A-A... Ah just… Ah just wanted to find my cutie mark!!"
 
Several ponies deflated. The lengths that a filly would go to. Unfortunately, the small period of quiet they had abruptly ran out, as a hissing noise suddenly sounded out again. The megasnake was stirring.
 
"Okay, more pressing issues first." Harpflank piped up. "What do we do about El Gigante over there? He's not gonna be happy when he wakes up."
 
"We need to find a way to cut him down to size." Derpy replied. "Applebloom. You said something about Mutagen X earlier. What were you trying to do?"
 
The pony sniffed, rubbing away her tears. "A-Ah was wantin' to make him a better housepet. Ponies 're scared of something that eats dead rats whole, but would like 'im b-better if he ate apples instead. A-and... Ah used Mutagen X t-to speed up the results... A-Ah didn't mean fer 'im to turn into a monster, honest!"
 
The pegasus leaned in towards her. "Do you think you know how to counteract it?"
 
She looked up, surprised at the question. "... M-maybe? A-Ah'd need to go back to my lab, b-but Ah could... Ah could try."
 
There was a nod. "Alright then, this is what we're gonna do. Lyra, Applejack, Big Macintosh. Keep an eye on that thing. If it starts moving, keep it distracted. Don't let it eat anything, and for sure don't let it eat you. I'm going with Applebloom to make a counteragent. Hold the fort till we get back, okay?"

Lyra sputtered a bit. "You're going with Applebloom, alone? B-But, she's a Crusader!"
 
"She's mah sister!" Applejack countered. "And whatever else she may have done, she's still that. She won't cause her any trouble. Will you, Applebloom?" She gave a glance to her younger sibling, a look that was both parts hurt, and pleading. Bloom found it hard to meet, but she shook her head in answer.
 
"We don't have time to debate about it." the commander stated, taking to her wings and looking down at the filly. "Let's go, Bloom. I'll let you lead the way. The sooner the better, right?"
 
The two proceeded to dash off into the darkness. Not a second later, there was a groan of wood bending, all three remaining ponies turning to look behind them in time to see the head of the massive serpent rise up into the sky once more.
 
"Soooo... Applejack." Lyra started, pounding her hooves together. "What's your experience in monster-fighting?"
 
The farmpony had to think. "Ah once had to chase off a manticore, and then there were a few rounds with some timberwolves. But... n-nothin' like this." She looked up at the scaly monstrosity and gulped. "Do you seriously have to deal with critters like this all th' time?"
 
"Try facing a Lunatron every other week." the heroine replied. "Next to that, this is nothing."
  

------------------------

 
The immense tree that served as Applebloom's laboratory now sported an enormous hole in its side from the snake's emergence, wide enough to easily admit both mare and filly as they rushed in. "Oooooh Applejack is gonna kill me fer sure!" the younger pony moaned, as they galloped down the stairs. "This tree's a family heirloom, and look what Ah've gone an' done to it!"
 
"If we don't act fast, a lot more will get damaged than just the tree." Derpy reminded her, gliding down and looking about the complex with her own eyes. "Your whole family legacy's at risk here, you know."
 
"Th-the Acres... m-my snake's gonna eat up all th' trees, ain't it?" Bloom looked up at her with fearful eyes, thinking ahead about the consequences, for once in her life. "It's gonna eat mah family and Sweet Apple Acres plum outta business!"
 
"Not if we stop it first!" The pegasus landed next to her, looking around and spying the chemistry set. "We still have time to stop this. Hurry. What's the thing that Mutagen X is weakest to?"
 
Applebloom looked over the assortment of chemicals before her, trotting forward with hesitation. "Ah... Mutagen X is a kind of morphogenic compound, with an acidic construct. A-and the opposite of an acid..."
 
"... is a base!" Ditzy cheered, looking around. "Have you got any baking soda?"
 
"We're tryin' to cure a snake, not make grade-school volcanoes!"
 
"I know that, but it's so simple! So simple in fact that it might just work! To cancel out the acidic factor, we're gonna need the strongest base there is, don't you agree?"
 
The filly hummed for a second. "M-maybe.. if Ah used an emulsifier to bind it with another agent... c-can you hand me that tube of Peridoxylne over there? A-Ah think we can use it to make it work."
 
Both ponies worked in a hurried silence, Applebloom mixing together ingredients, while Derpy retrieved components from one end or the other. It was a couple of minutes, before the budding scientist produced a tube of light-blue liquid, her orange eyes inspecting it.
 
"Is that it?" the commander asked, tapping her hooves together.
 
"Let's hope so." was the reply, as she pulled out a tube of glowing green fluid, pouring a portion of it into a petri dish. "This here's some of the original Mutagen X that Ah used before. If this works..." She then proceeded to pour a little of the new concoction on top of it. "Then we should be seein' a reaction just... about..."
 
The two overlapping pools fizzed slightly where they joined, with no other noticeable change. After a few tense seconds however, the puddle of Mutagen X began to lose its glow, the substance quickly turning a dull grey, before turning into the same shade of blue as the counteragent.
 
"It works!" Derpy cheered, before looking around the base. Spying the tranquilizer gun, she picked it up and brought it over. "Quick, let's get it loaded and get out there!"
 
“W-wait!" Bloom protested, reaching over for another vial. "J-just to make sure, we should polybind it with an immunodepressor and antihistamine compound! And then after that, we need to run a triple deficiency checker against reptilian hemoglobin, just so we can-"
 
"How long will all that take?"
 
Bloom stammered. "S-should only take like, t-ten minutes or so-"
 
"That's too long." the pegasus decided, lifting the dart gun again. "We know that it works as it is, and we need to dose that monster as soon as possible!"
 
"But... b-but that's... too simple!" the younger pony cried out in reply. "It's so, so simple, there's no way that it's gonna work! Sure it works okay in a petri dish, but once we're out there, who knows what it'll do! We've gotta run every single test, investigate every little detail, exhaust each and every single option that we've—!"
 
She was interrupted by the noise of wood crashing from outside, the shuddering of earth felt keenly through the floor. The fight outside was well underway. Obviously torn, Applebloom bit her lip, looking to burst into tears again... up until she felt a hoof upon her shoulder.
 
Looking up, she saw the elder mare looking down at her, both golden eyes perfectly aligned, as she offered her a warm, motherly smile. She then opened her mouth, and simply told her.
 
"Simple... is best."
 
They stared at each other for barely ten seconds, before the young apple pony grabbed the vial full of counteragent, and began loading it into a tranq dart. "D-do you think y'all can carry me?"
 
"Yeah, I can. You want me to lift you for a good firing angle?"
 
"That's right." The gun was loaded with a small click, before Bloom hopped onto Ditzy's back. "If this doesn't work, it's gonna be your fault, y'understand that, right?"
 
"I'll accept that." the grey mare replied, taking to her wings and lifting off towards the hole. "I don't think there's any need to worry though. That counteragent'll work, I just know it!"
 
Applebloom groaned. "That makes one of us." she confided, as they both flew back out of the shattered tree, and into the night.


------------------------

 
"Come an' get me, yah Lead-bellied Lizard!"
 
The titanic snake didn't need much encouragement, its slitted eyes following Applejack running at full tilt between the trees. Its belly raged now, and she was the biggest and brightest-looking apple in its sights. Its tongue whip-cracked once, before it launched itself forward, fully intending to snap her up in one bite.
 
Lyra interjected with an uppercut to its chin, the sheer force causing its head to fly backwards. It reeled for a short bit, buying the two mares time to talk.
 
"I think he likes you." the unicorn joked, panting for breath. "He keeping going for you, or Big Mac, but I think he's ignoring me, even though I keep slapping him around."
 
"Y'all don't look like an apple." the farmpony reasoned. "Me an' Mac though, we're Apples to the core, an' Ah think he knows that. He's not gonna stop till he's had a bite out of one of us!"
 
Indeed, as the serpent came back around, it once again trained its eyes upon AJ, mouth hinging wide to let out a sundering hiss, before snapping its head back towards them, ready to chow down.
 
There was a blur of red, and suddenly the snake found its jaws unable to close. Both mares had fallen on their sides, and so could only stare as Big Macintosh kept the immense beast's mouth held at bay with only his forehooves.
 
“Woah!" Harpflank found herself seriously considering the stallion for the first time. "Now THAT's superequine!"
 
"Big Mac!" Applejack cried out, hopping to her hooves and galloping towards him. Unnoticed by her, her hooves had begun to take on an orange glow. "Hang on big bro, Ah'm comin'!"
 
She slid up next to him, letting momentum turn her around so her hindlegs were primed and in position. She delivered a buck to the creature's jaw as good as she had ever used on a tree. However, nopony expected a miniature explosion to go off at the impact point, sending the serpent flying backwards, landing with a crash a good hundred hooves away.
 
Both Mac and AJ stared for a long while, before a low whistle brought them back to attention. "I take that back." Lyra remarked, walking towards them. "That... was superequine. I never knew you had any superpowers, AJ!"
 
The blonde mare stared at her hind legs in shock. "N... N-Neither did I. A-Ah've never done that before... have I, Big bro?"
 
"Eeeeee-nope." the draft horse replied.
 
There was more cracking wood, reminding them that they still had a job to do. The three broke into a gallop, only to screech to a stop as the serpent's head shoved itself out from between a couple of the trees, more roots disappearing between its lips. It tasted the air once more, and then began to slither its way towards the three ponies...
 
There was a shout from above the trees. Action on the ground stopped long enough for all eyes to look up, as a pegasus shape flew into the light of the moon, a filly with a tranq gun perched upon her back.
 
"Commander!" Lyra called out, jumping up and down exuberantly
 
"Applebloom!" Applejack called out in turn, waving at the airborne pair.
 
"Hold it still!" Derpy called back down at them. "Get it to open its mouth!"
 
"Its mouth's th’ softest part!" Bloom chimed in. "We're only gonna get one shot!"
 
The unicorn nodded and crouched back down, looking side to side at her companions. "You heard her, let's fasten this worm down! Got anything on yah, AJ?"
 
“Ah'm on it!" the farmpony replied, reaching into her tail and retrieving a length of rope. She tossed one end over to the heroine with a grin. "Know what to do with this, pardner?"
 
She gave a grin in return, before dashing off towards the snake's head. It narrowed its eyes and began to rise again, but not before Lyra had zig-zagged her way around its neck, wrapping the rope and securing it tight before finally joining AJ again on the ground. With a tug in opposite directions, both mares pulled the restraints tight, holding the beast in place as it hissed and fought against its bonds.
 
"N-now, Commander!" Lyra shouted, gritting her teeth. "Not sure for how long this is gonna work!"
 
Derpy nodded, and dove down towards the serpent, slowing to a hover in front of its head. Applebloom readied the dart gun, peering through the scope at the creature. It did not want to cooperate however, head twisting back and forth, mouth only opening to let loose an enraged hiss or two every now and then.
 
It was only now that the pegasus realized that she was actually beginning to really miss her office.
 
"It's no good!" the filly finally said, putting her scope down. "It's not keepin' its mouth open, Ah cain't get a clear shot!"
 
"Big Mac!" Applejack called to her brother. "Mind givin' the big guy a reason to really squeal?"
 
The red stallion nodded once, and then dashed over towards the snake's tail. It was about then that the snake not only saw what Macintosh was about to do, but came to the realization that the rest of itself wasn't immobilized.
 
The tail lifted, and then lashed out at all those surrounding it, a veritable wall of scales effortlessly batting Big Mac, AJ, and Lyra aside. With its bonds now free, it fell forwards, straight towards Ditzy and Bloom. The pegasus flapped wildly to avoid the titanic creature, and while they avoided a crash, the passage of that wedge-shaped head still managed to clip her wing, sending her spinning out of control.
 
“Hold on tight!" she cried to her passenger. "It's going to be a rough landing, and I don't come standard with airbags!"
 
They fell headlong into a tree, the sound of crashing branches following, before they were deposited in a heap on the ground. Of the two, Applebloom was the first to come to, looking back and forth and spying Derpy unconscious among the leaves and branches.
 
“M... M-Miss Derpy?" she asked, crawling towards her. "A-are you okay?" P... P-Please get up? Y-you have to wake up, t-the snake's still on th' loose! Please, you have to get up!..." She nudged and tugged on her, trying to get her to respond.
 
She was interrupted by the sound of a menacing hiss echoing over the acres. She turned just in time to see the serpent focusing on Applejack once more, who was still sitting on the ground, winded and disoriented from the earlier battering.
 
“AJ!" the yellow filly cried out, tripping over her hooves and galloping towards her. "AJ, WATCH OUT!!”
 
The farm pony for her part, managed to look up in her young sister's direction and go 'Huh?", before she was bowled over by her. "Applebloom, what in tarnation-"
 
"Stop!" Bloom yelled at the snake. "Stop this, right now! Bad snake! Bad, bad snake!"
 
She might as well have been yelling at a brick wall. It didn't even see the two as ponies. All it saw was one, big, golden-delicious apple, waiting for the eating... and the hunger cried out for it...
 
It launched its head forward, jaws yawning wide. Lyra and Big Macintosh were too far away to even try and stop it. Applejack finally focused on the imminent sentence bearing down on them, and quickly wrapped herself around her little sister, hoping to shield her some way, any way, from the impending fate. "A-Applebloom... Ah wanna tell you... Ah love you, li'l sis!"
 
"Ah... A-Ah love you too, AJ! Ah'm so sorry! Ah'm so sorry for everything! A-Ah-!"
 
There was a soft click. Both apple ponies looked up to see Derpy standing in front of them, right smack dab between them, and the looming cavernous maw.
 
And she had the tranquilizer gun in her hoof.
 
Deadeye Derpy took aim through the scope, and smiled. "Tell me if you think this tastes too sweet."
 
She fired. The reaction was instantaneous, the massive serpent letting out a shriek as it jerked back, flailing at the pain in its mouth. The three ponies were presently joined by Mac and Lyra, and they all watched the behemoth as it tried desperately to grind its mouth into the dirt.
 
"It's not gonna work..." Applebloom whispered to herself. "It's not gonna work, it's not gonna work, Ah shoulda done more, Ah shoulda run it through more, it's not.... gonna...?"
 
Astoundingly, the snake began to calm down. And following this, it soon became visibly obvious that the creature was in fact, shrinking. The party soon had to advance, to keep up with the rapidly diminishing reptile, as its head sunk below the treeline. It wasn't long until they fully surrounded it, the serpent at long last returning to its true form of a boa constrictor. It weaved sleepily in place, before collapsing flatly in the ground, coughing up a cloud of pale blue dust.
 
"Toldja." was all that Ditzy said. Applebloom couldn't find the will or the words to respond.
 
Applejack let out a whoosh of air, before turning to the stallion. "Big Mac, go an' fetch a crate fer this little guy. And make sure that there aren't any other nasty li'l surprises hoppin' around th' place."
 
As he left, the remaining ponies shared an uneasy silence. Unsurprisingly, it was the unicorn who piped up first, placing a hoof on AJ's shoulder. "You did awesome tonight. If I didn't think you were MARE material before, I definitely think you are now!"
 
The small filly arched an eyebrow. "MARE... material?"
 
"Th' whole reason they came out t' talk to me." the elder sister explained. "They're wantin' me to join their team. To work with Harpflank an' Sweets."

Orange eyes stared dazed, as she looked at both of the agents. “M-mah sister… p-part of MARE?...”
 
"And there's also the fact that, as I told you before, you are a reincarnated Element of Harmony." Derpy spoke up again, stepping forward. "Agent Sweets is currently away retrieving the documentation that you requested. I'm hoping that when it gets here, you'll finally see that—"
 
AJ waved a hoof. "Y'don't need to prove anythin'... Ah believe you."
 
She was once again thrown for a loop. "You... do?"
 
"Eee-yup. Us Apple family've got records of our own, stretchin' back to th' earliest days of Equestria. Some of th' things you said earlier today got me an' Granny Smith to lookin' through them. And... we found me. A-Ah mean, her, Ah suppose, but... th' point is, she looked just like me, all th' way down to th' hat. And... that was all th' proof Ah needed."
 
“All the proof?" Lyra interjected. "What about the glowy exploding hoofkick? I'd think that'd be some serious proof in of itself!"
 
"She manifested powers?" the pegasus asked eagerly. "We've had that happen in some of our present agents, but this would be the first time somepony else has obtained them! Miss Applejack, I must ask you to reconsider. The way you handled tonight, on top of your other outstanding qualifications, marks you as a perfect agent of MARE. We would be most honored, if you joined us."
 
The farmpony looked slightly giddy for a second, until she felt a squeeze around her foreleg. Looking down, she saw Applebloom looking up at her pleadingly, tears beading at the corner of her eyes. She quickly shook her head, before facing the two mares again. "Ah... A-Ah'm sorry, Miss Doo, Miss Heartstrings, but... Ah just cain't. Ah'm mighty flattered that y’all want me to join so badly, but after all of this... and after finding out the kind of trouble that Applebloom's in.. she's gonna need me now more than ever! Ah cain't just leave her like this! Cutie Mark Crusader or no, there's no way Ah'm gonna abandon mah own little sister!"
 
The young pony smiled in relief, while both MARE agents looked downcast. It was a long minute before Derpy lifted her head again, the light of an idea now in her mind's eye. "You know... you're right, Applejack. The last thing that I want to do, is to tear a family apart. I can see how close the two of you are... maybe a little closer now, than you were earlier today?"
 
The sisters had to blink and look at each other, before giving each other a smile, and a hug. The green unicorn looked back at her commander quizzically. "Y-yeah, it's great that they're still sisters... But that doesn't change the fact that Applebloom has a lot to answer for."
 
"She does." the pegasus began. "But she was also a big help, and instrumental in helping us resolve tonight. Plus, I seem to remember a report where all three Crusaders gave you and BonBon the means to undo another foe."
 
Harpflank made a sour face. "Did you forget that they originally made Smartypants in the first place? Plus Mister El Gigante—"
 
"They've shown that they have the will, and the ability, to accomplish impressive things." Ditzy interrupted, turning back towards the apple sisters. "Applebloom in particular, has shown that she's got a mind made for mechanics and science, and has the drive to follow through on them. She just needs... the right kind of guidance."
 
Applejack looked a bit crestfallen. "Ah can tell you what to do to make a hybrid apple, but Ah'm no rocket scientist."
 
"Which is why..." The grey mare gave a smile. "I'm going to offer the perfect solution. One that will keep Applebloom and Applejack together, and keep Applebloom safe from any outside repercussions."
 
Three sets of eyes stared at her in disbelief. Bloom spoke up first. "W-what do y’mean?"
 
"Yeah, Boss." Lyra leaned her head in. "What do you mean? What kind of solution could possibly fix all this?"
 
“A simple one. Simple is best, after all." the Commander replied, facing the sisters again. "All that we're going to do... is extend our original offer, to include one more pony."
 
Both apple ponies lit up, and gaped at each other, suddenly excitedly chattering between themselves. It took a bit longer for the green superheroine to finally catch up, her face contorting with shock and disbelief. "No. No way. No, Boss, Derpy, you can't be serious, what are you thinking, this is absolutely the most POSSIBLY WORST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF—"
 

------------------------

 
The doors to Ex-Tech whooshed open, allowing in a small yellow filly with eyes that were currently as big as dinnerplates, busily soaking in all the tech present in the room. "Ah... A-Ah've gotta be dreamin'!"

"Nope! It's all real!" came a brash voice. A console in the center of the room rotated to reveal both Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, the former looking none the worse for wear, while the latter still sported a hoof and her horn in casts.
 
"Welcome to Ex-Tech." Octavia greeted with a soft smile. "You must be the child prodigy that the Commander informed us about."
 
"H'lo..." the red-headed pony greeted. "A-Ah'm Applebloom. A-are you two, Octavia an' Vinyl?"
 
"That's us!" the unicorn grinned, waving her un-bandaged hoof. "I'm Vinyl, your one-stop shop for all DJ and Hardware needs, and Octy over there is your mare for smooth software and music you want to snooze to."
 
The grey mare ignored the dig at her profession, and instead turned again to Bloom. "We've already seen some examples of your work. We must say we're quite impressed."
 
"Oh don't be so modest Octy, this filly's got the touch! She made three suits of armor, outta scrap from her family's backyard! With us teachin' her the ropes, she's gonna run circles around both of us, I tell you what!"
 
Bloom fairly blushed, fidgeting in place. "A-Ah wouldn't say Ah only used scrap parts for th' armor... b-but thank you kindly fer th' words!"
 
"You might not be thanking her for them later." Octavia whispered, before clearing her throat. "Now. Before we get to your orientation, we're certain you're bound to have a lot of questions for us. Would you like to ask anything now, before we begin?"
 
She looked between the two of them quietly, before pointing to the unicorn. "Is she okay? She looks like she took a real tumble."

"Oh, pfft, don't worry about me kid." Vinyl waved it off. "I've suffered worse. Word of advice though. Never have cupcakes, and a half-disassembled stormneto-hydrocyclic magifusion-bottle generator in the same room."
 
The filly was very quiet, before whispering “They do exist.” to herself, and then falling to her side in a faint.
 
"... was it something I said?"
 

------------------------

 
"Are you ready?"
 
"Yes... No... A-Ah dun know. But Ah'm here anyways, so... might as well get it over with."
 
Lyra nodded, before stepping towards the door to the conference room. "The rest of the team is assembled inside. Applejack, meet your new teammates, the Elements of Harmony!"
 
She pushed the doors open, allowing the both of them to step inside. Applejack's eyes widened, as she took in the four other occupants in the room. Straight out of her photobook, were four of the mares that her past self had been friends with. They all turned to gaze upon her, and she felt something welling inside of her that she'd never felt before. A sense of nostalgia, of longing, that it had been way too long since she'd last seen these girls... her friends.
 
"Everypony," Harpflank began. "Meet your newest teammate, Applejack!"
 
"Oh my!" the white unicorn breathed, stepping forward. "The head of Apples Inc herself, among us? I'm quite pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Rarity."
 
"I-I'm... I'm Fluttershy." the yellow pegasus quietly spoke, half-hiding behind her mane.
 
“And I'm Pinkie Pie! Partier extraordinaire! It's so good to meet you Applejack!" The pink earth pony zoomed up into her face, taking her hoof and shaking. "You know, I think this calls for a party! See, I only joined up recently myself, and I haven't had a chance to throw a party for any new ponies joining us, you'll be my first 'Welcome To the MARE Family' pony party ever!"
 
"Applejack?" the blue pegasus came last, flying in for a closer look before landing. "Oh my gosh, Applejack? It's me, Rainbow Dash, do you remember? F-from the Iron Pony competition?"

“Rainbow Dash..." the farmpony drawled, taking her hoof and shaking it with a disbelieving smile. "B-by golly, yes, Ah do remember! Land sakes, it's been forever! Ah'd nearly forgotten your name! Where've you been fer the past few Iron Ponies, Ah've been lookin' fer you!"
 
Dash rubbed the back of her head. "Eehhh... got distracted with the Wonderbolts, and then with MARE. I'd meant to get back into the next one though, honest! Especially after the training I've undergone with Lyra here!"
 
“Now now Dash." The aforementioned unicorn stepped up beside them. "AJ's gonna be gettin' some time with me too. And the two of are gonna be workin' together the most. Commander wants you two to pair up into a team, like me an' BonBon. We've had Harpflank and Sweets for the longest time. How about we introduce... Appleflank and Strikes?"
 
“A team-up with Rainbow Dash, huh?" Applejack shared a smile with Dash. "Ah think Ah could get used to that!"
 
She then looked over at the rest of the mares. Something jingled in the back of her mind, and at length she voiced it as "There's somepony missing."
 
Rarity looked surprised. "H-how did you know? Twilight Sparkle is away with Agent Trixie for personal training, and nopony knows when they'll be back... but there's no way that you could have possibly known that!"
 
AJ dug into her saddlebags, and retrieved the dusty volume from her family basement. "Ah know, cause like the rest of y'all, Ah'm also one of th' original Elements of Harmony. Ah found this here photo album in mah basement... here. Take a look." She opened the book up to the photo of Canterlot from before, with all six of them, and held it for the other ponies to gather around and see.
 
"Oh... my... stars!" the white unicorn exclaimed. "That's… that's us!"
 
"And Twilight too." Fluttershy added, amazement in her voice. "How old is this?"
 
"It's from 2010. Not even barely a year since the first Nightmare Moon Incident, and the return of the Crystal Kingdom."

"Okaaay..." Rainbow added, staring at herself inside the photo. "That's more than a little bit creepy. I didn't think that they were serious about this reincarnation stuff..."
 
"We are." Lyra supplied, stepping forward again. "You guys are the reincarnation of the original Elements of Harmony. We don't know why you're all popping back up together now, but something tells me that whatever the reason is, must be a good one."
 
"But we're not all back together yet." Applejack said, turning to face the heroine. "Twilight's still off someplace else. Trainin', you said?"
 
Fluttershy nodded. "That's right. Miss Trixie wanted to test her magic abilities, and so took her someplace outside of Metropony City to train."
 
Dash rubbed her hooves together. "Something tells me she's trained long enough. What say we all mount a little mission of our own? Operation 'Bring Twilight Home'?"
 
The mood of the room brightened from that, the ponies all animatedly chatting to themselves. "Woo!" Pinkie piped up, a party favor in her hoof. "Now I can throw two 'Welcome to the MARE family' parties!"
 

------------------------

 
"And... approved. I think that's the last of that."
 
BonBon suppressed a yawn, as she moved a paper over to the side of the desk, blinking through bleary eyes at the office around her. The repair ponies had finally finished their work, leaving the scene with less scorch marks than it had started with, and a clean coat of paint. Bubbles had been reassembled and put away, and the paperwork... Oooh the paperwork. She sighed to herself.
 
When she had awoken from her impromptu nap, she was alerted that she was the only eligible candidate left to run MARE. Shouldering the responsibility like a pro, her first order had been to retrieve the previously-sorted paperwork back from the archives. With all of that available again, she had started going through them, page by page, bit by bit. It wasn't long before she ran into the proposals, and when she did, she had begun approving and denying them, as company heads should.

She still hadn't found that Celestia-damned Celestia-signed documentation yet though. She figured that it would be right under the last bundle of paper, before she heard noises coming down the hall.
 
"... and you're okay with having a pony like her in your technological department?"
 
"Carrot, what was I supposed to do? I didn't want to send a filly to juvie, and neither would you, you know that."
 
"*sigh* You're right about that... it's just, they're going to give me a lot of flak about it down at the precinct, you know."
 
"Which is why I'm asking you, give her a chance, okay? If I can show that she's turned around after three months, it should look good for her record."
 
"Alright, Derpy. Three months. She was, as you said, desperate for her cutie mark."
 
“Heh, yeah. Do you remember the sorts of things that I went through to get mine? Who woulda known that—"
 
The office door opened, and admitted both Derpy Hooves, clothed in her uniform once more, and Carrot Top, in full Metropony police regalia. They paused in their tracks at seeing the haggard BonBon, before taking in the state of the office itself.
 
“Typical Derpy." the orange-maned mare shook her head. "Never had use for a filing system, did you?"
 
The heroine looked about herself. In her rush to sort and approve the paperwork, she had let droves of it fall off the desk, resulting in piles all about the room. To the untrained eye, the office didn't look one inch different from when it did before the Commander's departure.
 
"BonBon?" the pegasus asked. "Are you still looking for the documentation?"
 
She worked her jaw. "I... may have gotten sidetracked by being in charge of MARE instead. I've filled fifty-three proposals and cleared at least sixteen projects to move forward. But... I've not seen hide nor hair of the documentation, no."
 
There was a tilted head. "I told you it was in the pile under the picture, didn't I?"
 
Sweets turned her head. There was indeed, a pile of papers under the soda champion trophy picture again. She got to her hooves, walked over, and began digging into it, not expecting to find anything...
 
... and emerged from it with a sheaf of papers, all with Celestia's flowing signature. She did an about-face, returning to the desk, and then placing the papers in the middle. "You were right, Chief. I... I completely overlooked them. So, we can show these to Applejack now, right?"
 
"Oh, there's no need now!" Derpy replied cheerfully. "Applejack accepted the offer, after I let her little sister in on it!"
 
"... she... what?"
 
"Yeah, she's meeting downstairs with the rest of the elements right now. Thank you for your diligence though, BonBon. You all obviously had a lot on your hooves while I was away." The grey mare's golden eyes took in the office with a smile, before turning to her again. "So tell me... did anything big happen while I was gone?"
 
BonBon stared ahead into space for a few seconds, before to all appearances, she began to melt into a puddle in the chair, flowing and pooling onto the floor, at length re-congealing into a mare who was sound asleep and dead to the world.
 
"... huh, guess not." Derpy assumed, trotting around the desk to take back her old spot, wiggling her plot into her familiar chair. Carrot joined her on her opposite side, shaking her head at the entire thing.
 
"I don't know how you do it." she started. "Didn't you say you were just visiting a friend with those muffins, yesterday? That a visit like that would turn into a huge debacle like this... I mean, just... Awp."
 
The grey mare rubbed the back of her head. "You know me, Carrot... Got tired of sitting in this office and being complicated. Just wanted to live, and be simple again."
 
The police pony smiled back. "You always did say Simple was best."
 
"Hyeah... but that doesn't mean it's always easy!"
 
The two old friends shared a laugh, before Carrot stepped away to the office door. "Say, Ditzy... I'm going to be having a few friends over tomorrow night... would you like to join?"
 
Derpy perked her ears up at the offer, remembering her dinner with the Apple family, and the times she had cherished with Carrot in the past. I had wanted to get out of the office before... but the field life is just not for me. If I had something like that to always look forward to again though, then maybe, just maybe… I really can be simple again.
 
She smiled widely at her. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
 
They said their goodbyes, before the yellow pony finally departed for unfinished business, leaving her in her quiet. With a sigh, she leaned back in her seat, content to let BonBon sleep as she relaxed, her eyes roaming the old familiar office with a newly fond eye, and reflecting on the adventure past, knowing that even though things had changed for a lot of ponies since yesterday, she could always count on her friends to keep her home-away-from-home, in one piece...
 
"... hey. Somepony moved my mug!"



THE END