Dreams
I had finally done it. It had taken years of training, practice, and so much time in the roaring blue sky, but I was a Wonderbolt.
There was a big kind of coronation where I was presented my uniform. I also got an exclusive gold pin that only Wonderbolts get. The press took pictures and the news had headlines of, “New Rookie Reaches the Big Leagues” and “World's Fastest Flier Finally Made Wonderbolt”
It was true. I had been proven to be the fastest flier in all of Equestria! And it only took years of training, a harsh diet, dozens of crash landings, and seventeen sonic rainbooms. Wow. I've done that many? It's almost become second nature. I'm also the only pegasus in the world to not only do a sonic rainboom, but do it upside down!
I've finally become a Wonderbolt. What I always dreamed!
… … …
So why aren't I happy?
I was sitting in one of my usual napping spots, but I couldn't sleep. Even with the scent of those fresh apples all around me, the lazy, pleasant heat of the day, and the nice cool breeze that comes down from the mountains in the east flowing lightly against me, I couldn't seem to get comfortable. This was the most comfortable tree I could ever find. What was wrong with me?
“Stupid tree...” I say, tossing and turning myself onto my back. A big, ripe apple hung conveniently over my head, shining in the sunlight. When I looked at it it seemed almost as if the rest of the world had just disappeared.
“Well...” I smile, “Maybe not all stupid.”
I grasp the apple in my hoof and rip it from its branch. Then I take a moment to shine it a little against my fur; enough to just barely see my own reflection. In its red skin I looked the same as always. Same awesome rainbow mane, same cool cyan coat, same incredible wings, same amazing smile. Just... The same as always. Had nothing changed?
I shrug and take a bite. It tasted just as sweet as any of AJ's apples. Just as delectably crunchy, just as delightfully juicy, and just as satisfying. Only, I wasn't satisfied. Even though it tasted the same as always, it didn't seem to taste all that good anymore.
I glare at the apple for not being good enough then toss it over my shoulder with a sigh.
“Stupid tree.”
I turn back onto my belly and bury my face in my pillow. Still wasn't comfortable. I closed my eyes and groaned. Then, my empty thoughts were stopped by a loud banging sound like a rock hitting wood. My eyes opened again, expecting to see the threads of my pillow.
Wait, since when is the ground between me and my pillow? And since when am I hurtling towards it?
Before I realize it, I've slammed face down in the dirt. Two apples hit my head after I try to get up, knocking me down again.
“Rainbow! What have I told ya about sleepin in my trees! You could get bucked out at any moment!”
“Hey, AJ...” I groan, rubbing my spinning head. AJ looked stern. Strong as ever. Shiny with sweat. Obviously working hard and obviously not very thrilled to see me.
“Sleepin on the job again, I see.” She grunts, looking down on me. She holds her hoof out to help me get up and I gladly take it.
I chuckle, “Sleeping in. There's a difference.”
She then turns away to pick up loose apples and toss them in her wooden buckets. “Shouldn't you be out doing some Wonderbolt training er somethin?”
I shrug, dusting myself off. “The training is only three days a week. Four if a show is coming up, and none if a show is a few days away. The Wonderbolts don't want to overwork themselves 'cause the training is real hard and apparently it isn't healthy to practice for hours a day every day.”
I snort as if to say, “Amateurs.”
Instead I say, “It's one of those days I don't train and have nothing much to do.”
Applejack rolls her eyes and moves on to the next tree. “Well like ah said, yall can't go sleepin in my apple trees. One of these times I buck ya out, yall could get real hurt.”
I kick the dirt. “Wasn't getting any sleep anyway...”
I guess AJ must have picked up on the tone in my voice or something, 'cause she stopped and just stared at me for a few moments. One of those looks like she's judging how much she should charge for her apples. Her brow went up when she came to her conclusion.
“Somethin botherin you, Rainbow?”
I laugh, picking myself up a few feet in the air with my wings and spreading my arms out to the world around me. I smile proudly at her. “Are you kidding?! I'm finally a Wonderbolt! Me! A Wonderbolt! I have everything I've ever dreamed! I'm the fastest flier in Equestria, the only pegasus to not just do one sonic rainboom, but seventeen! I look as awesome as always! I get four days off a week with better pay than I ever had with my old job! And...” I pause for a few moments, trying to think of more reasons why my life is awesome. But if it's so awesome then why doesn't it feel awesome?
“A-And...” I stutter. Aw, why was I stuttering! Dorks stutter. Rainbow Dash doesn't stutter! Am I doubting myself?
I slowly hover back to the cold ground, my smile disappearing. “A-And my life is just as awesome as always.”
Applejack was still staring at me. Damn those piercing green eyes of hers. They made me feel even more unsure of myself than I did before.
She takes a step forward, “But... Somethin ain't right. Ain't it?”
I straighten up and gesture to myself with my hoof. “Haha! I don't know what you're talking about AJ.” My smile hurts, it's so forced. I have to turn away so I don't have to look at those damned honest eyes.
“Rainbow.”
“My life is as amazing as ever!”
“Rainbow.”
“Everything I've ever wanted is in the palm of my hoof!”
“Rainbow!”
“What?!” I turn and stomp my hoof into the ground, “Can't you see I'm happy?! I don't have any problems at all! It's not like you can look at me like one of your apples and say something's wrong! Nothing's wrong! No bruises, no worms, nothing! I'm living the dream! Living. The. Dream! Why wouldn't I be fully satisfied with my life?! And if I'm not, then so what?! I'm at my peak and I'm gonna enjoy it if it kills me! Now stop looking at me like that!”
The orchard is silent. Applejack doesn't stop looking at me like that, but now she shakes her head and tsks at me.
“I...” I pause, finding myself again, my glare turning more sad than anything else. “I'm sorry. I don't... Know what came over me.”
“You're not happy, are ya, Rainbow?”
I look away and glare at my half eaten apple on the ground near the tree. “No... And I don't know why. I've worked for years for this. And now that I have it... Ugh. Why is my life so hard?”
At this, Applejack begins to break out into laughter, actually falling back onto the ground and rolling in the dirt as she squeals.
“HEY!!” I yell, kicking dirt on her to make her stop laughing at me. At me! Rainbow Dash!
She only laughs harder, struggling to get up. “Haha! Sorry, Rainbow, but your life ain't nothin! Your life is all hunky-dory! If anyone should be complainin about their life, it's me, but you don't see me makin a fuss over nothin!”
She's still laughing even as she goes to the next tree for bucking.
I glare, “What do you mean?”
She gives me an apologetic look after giving the tree a hard buck, already moving to the next. She keeps this up as she talks, bucking and moving on.
“Like ah said, your life ain't nothin. You have four days off a week! I can't stop working for two without my family's profits and livelihood goin down. If ah did what you do and take 'naps' seven days a week, our farm would go bankrupt. It's hard work keeping the farm goin and my bones are already feelin the toll it takes on me. I have to see a doctor every month to see that mah back doesn't give out. And think of all the things my farm work keeps me from doin! You know what I'd like to be doin right now? I'd like to be down in town drinkin hard cider 'till I can't think no more, then let some stallion ah don't know rock mah horse, but ah can't do that 'cause that wouldn't set a good impression on Apple Bloom and Big Mac would never look at me the same again. Plus I'd be missin out on all the work that needs to get done.”
I couldn't help but stare, eyes wide. “AJ... 'Rock your horse'?” I could hardly believe I heard that from her, the most dutiful and calm, collected pony I've ever known.
“Well it's true. Mah farm work has kept me from a lot that life has to offer. … A lot… And ah don't even know if ah'll ever find a good stallion. He'd have to join the farm an' work if I want to see him very often, and ponies who enjoy farming like me have their own farms to tend to. And ah can't leave Sweet Apple Acres for very long without it becomin too much for Big Mac to handle on his own. Sure, Apple Bloom's growin up and can start doin tougher work around here, but until she's old enough to buck apples, ah'm stuck here. And by then I'll already be out of my peak. Not exactly prime material for the dating scene. Not ta mention Apple Bloom may not want to be a farmer. Ah wouldn't feel right keepin her here if she wanted to move on with her life when the time came.”
Applejack smiles. A big, genuine smile at the ground. She finally takes a moment to stop her apple bucking to... Think... I guess.
“But ah'm happy. With all my responsibilities and work, I know ah couldn't ask for anything more. I love doin this work because I know that at the end of the day, I've done everything I could, and done it for mah family. I love watchin these trees grow, I love all the ponies I get to talk to when ah'm runnin the apple stand in town, and ah love my family more than ah love maself, so all the work is worth it. I can't complain. Even though ah have a full schedule ah can always find time to be with mah friends, spend time with mah family, and even talk to complete strangers when I feel a little lonely. Mah life is hard. I have to make sure we get as many apples as possible each year, AND make sure we get a good enough profit to live on from those apples. Every time ah get more profit than the year before, it's the best feelin ah can describe. And when ah get less, it don't matter 'cause ah can always make up for it next year by workin harder.”
Applejack pauses at this, looking at me again. “Now look at you. You're at your peak, like ya said. You've achieved everythin you've ever dreamed of. I bet yall have never thought about how many other ponies around you haven't. Ah have dreams too, Rainbow. And they ain't comin true any time soon. Ah do think ah know why you ain't happy, though.”
“Yeah?”
She chuckles, turning away and moving on to the next tree. “Yall need a stallion.”
“WHAT?!” I quickly fly in front of her, blocking her way. “What do you mean?! I don't need some stallion to be happy! I'm just unsatisfied!”
Applejack gives me a devious look that makes me blush.
“N-Not that kind of unsatisfied, you perv! I've gotten everything I've ever wanted but it feels like nothing's changed! Like I haven't accomplished anything at all!”
“Well did ya ever think that maybe it's because you're unsatisfied with yerself that you try to be the best pony yall can be? That it was the workin toward yer goals that satisfied ya? Not the dream, but the work it took to get to it instead?”
“Well...” I pause. Was that it? Was I unsatisfied because I didn't have any more goals to meet?
“Set a new goal. Maybe not with flyin this time. Ah think yall would be much happier if ya got yer head out of the mud and started workin on somethin new.”
I paused, staring at her. I didn't know if she was right, but it was worth a shot. I look at the ground, thinking about it for a moment. Maybe... Trying to find a stallion wouldn't be all that bad...
I look back to Applejack and do my best to smile. “Thank you, AJ.”
She had already walked around me to the next tree. “No problem, sugarcube. Just don't go sleepin in any more of mah trees!”
I turn to fly away, already in the air, but something stops me.
“Hey AJ?”
“Yeah?”
“What do you dream of doing, anyway?”
“Oh... Well...” She blushes. “Believe it er not, ah dreamed of bein a great painter.”
I can't help but snicker, “Painter?”
“Ah know, ah know. It's dumb. Mah dad always said so before he passed. He said, 'Applejack, sweetie, them paintings ain't gonna pay fer your family's needs, an family always comes first. Now get back out in those fields an get buckin!'”
She sighs, moving on to the next tree. “So ah did. Ah haven't picked up a brush since ah was little, and when mah daddy passed, it was only a reassurance that he was right, 'cause all his work was handed down ta me. An ah was ready because he had kept me workin, and workin hard enough to take his place. It was almost like he knew.”
What could I have possibly said to that? The thought had never even occurred to me that she had a father at all, and I never wondered where he was either. My father was still alive, and working at the weather factory in Cloudsdale. What could I have said?
I pause, thinking for a few more moments before saying, “Well... You should start painting again.”
She freezes just as she was about to kick another tree. She looks up at me, “What? Why?”
“Well, it's your dream, right?”
She growls, bucking the tree hard. “Was. An it was a stupid dream.”
“No it's not!” I land in front of her before she can move on to the next tree. “Dreams are never stupid! And look around, AJ! You're the hardest working pony I know! I'm sure your family would understand if you wanted to take a little time off now and then to chase your dreams, because those dreams are important to you and they owe it to you!”
“Rainbow...”
“No! I'm not going to stand by while the hardest working pony I've ever known lets her dreams slowly rot in a box! Have you never thought about painting again?”
“Well, yeah, but--”
“But nothing! If it's important to you, then it's important to me too.”
She pulls her hat down over her eyes to hide from my gaze, “Ah-Ahm not that good, neither...”
I yank her hat up and nearly press my forehead against hers with a hard glare, “Then get better! But you won't get anywhere if you do nothing!”
Applejack stares, almost scared. I give sigh, releasing her hat, “You've done so much for everypony, AJ. You never think of yourself. Maybe it's time to start?”
Her gaze seems almost fragile. She looks at the ground, then at the sky, then out across all her apple trees.
“Ah... Ah suppose the farm would do just as well if I started usin mah day off to try paintin... An it won't cost us all that much for me ta get supplies with all mah personal savings... Apple Bloom tells me every day ah work too hard and Big Mac always says ah should take some time off fer myself... An Granny always used to love mah little paintins when ah was younger... But what would mah daddy think...”
I smile, putting a hoof over her shoulder. “You know what I think AJ? I think he'd be proud for all you've done. And you shouldn't let what he said when you were little stop you from living your dreams.”
She smiles back, rubbing her hoof in circles on the ground. “Well... Alright, Rainbow. Thank ya... Fer, ya know, listening.”
I put my wings up and pull myself up a few feet from the ground. “No problem, AJ. Thanks for listening to me, too. I guess it's what friends are for, right?”
“Yeah, ah reckon you're right.” She secures her hat to her head again, smiling, “But before ah can start paintin, ah do still need to finish up all this apple bucking. Ah'll start later tonight. An Rainbow?”
“Yeah?”
“Congrats on makin yer dreams come true. Now go and make new ones! Go on! Git!”
I chuckle, turning, and start to fly back to town only after I retrieve my pillow from that stupid tree. New dreams, huh... I guess it couldn't hurt to see what stallions were around...