Y'know, sometimes you just can't seem to start a conversation well. Sometimes you can't even process what you want to say, and it ends up coming out as some form of mumbo-jumbo that makes no sense whatsoever. And this, in fact, is- well, was, one of those moments. One of those moments when you just go 'Okay, what the fuck am I gonna do here?', but even though you think of something, it doesn't even come out of your mouth. All that comes out is, "How's it going?". Like that's the most intelligent way to start a conversation in the history of mankind.
Now that you've been enlightened so amazingly, allow the story to commence.
"You are bullshitting me." I snapped angrily at my friend Brady, who was staying overnight at my house. Brady had just finished telling me that last weekend, he crashed his four-wheeler, and came out unscathed.
I of course, didn't believe him, but I bet I wasn't mentally prepared for what was about to happen next.
"Nah, check this out," Brady replied, taking out his phone and playing a video.
"Holy fucking shit! Brady, you alright bud!?" Jordan's voice sounded from the phone's speakers, Brady and his four-wheeler at the bottom of the gravel pit he crashed in, the four-wheeler he drove almost in pieces. One of the four tires were punctured by something- likely a stone, I'unno -the entirety of the small vehicle was scratched, its red paint almost silver by now. The engine on the vehicle was sputtering.
Brady, on the video, came up the gravel pit with a look of both relief and disbelief on his face. "Yeah, yeah I'm... 'Fine'. Just crashed my four-wheeler." Brady said sarcastically, taking the phone away from Jordan.
The video stopped. "I bullshit you not," Brady laughed. "-now, I'm just gonna go play RAGE." Brady then proceeded upstairs to my room, where the XBOX 360 was already up and running, with Brady's game still going on it.
I set down my now-finished plate of steak and potatoes, and decided to go onto my computer upstairs.
- - - - My Room - 11:41 PM.
Several hours passed. Yeah, it was just like a normal night, but Brady was still playing RAGE. He had finally gotten into Subway Town, when he got stumped. "Where the fuck is the 'Blue Line Station'?" he asked, confused.
"Just go to your garage above the Resistance Base, get your Cuprino, and follow the white dots once you leave Subway Town into the Wasteland." I directed him, my friend quickly picking up on what he had to do.
"Thanks man." said Brady.
"Not a problem," I replied. My phone began to vibrate on my desk, signifying that I had a text. I picked up the phone, and I looked. I sighed, before looking at the message.
The message read;
'Hey babe, u wanna go catch a movie tomorrow?'
And so I replied;
'Sure. I'll pick you up at around... Seven. Sound good?'
Two minutes passed before my phone received another text message. That message read;
'K. Ill see u there, babe. Goodnight, i u.'
I chuckled a little in the back of my mind, before responding;
'I you too baby. See you tomorrow.'
The screen of my phone went black as my finger pressed the off button. Then, I found myself returning my vision to the monitor of my PC. "Time to catch up on MLP..." I uttered under my breath, opening YouTube, in hopes that I could find the episode I left off at.
Once I found the episode in the search list, Brady managed to catch a glimpse of the thumbnails. He snickered. "Are you one of those... bro... what is it, uh, Brownies?" Brady asked me. Before I could correct him, he corrected himself, "Brony, that's the word, Brony. Are you a Brony?"
"Mhm." I replied, before clicking on the fifteenth episode of season one - 'Feeling Pinkie Keen'. I hadn't made it through the entire three seasons yet, but I was determined to make it through both seasons.
Brady only laughed at me, before his laughing stopped abruptly with a yelp.
"What the fuck, dude?!" I snapped my back as I whipped around. "OH! Fu-... gggh..." I held my back. 'Son of a bitch...'
"Fucking muties..." my friend sighed in relief, mashing the shoot button as multiple Mutants were swept away in a bloody carnage of flak, originating from Brady's combat shotgun.
I only laughed, before I began watching 'Feeling Pinkie Keen', along with other episodes, until I got tired.
About three hours passed before I finally fell asleep in my chair.
- - - - My Room - Two Hours Later
I snapped awake. Cold sweat ran down my back and chest as I stiffened-up from shock. Can't move, the words were in my mind, but in the depths of my mind; they weren't a priority, so my mind forced me to assume that I was paralyzed. Which, I was; I couldn't move a muscle. Then, my eyes traced their way over to the open doorway. There stood a shady figure, wielding a knife.
My heart dropped. I was panicking, trying to yell out for help- my mouth moved, but no words came out. The figure approached me, and I tried, desperately to move. But to no avail. Then, like that, he disappeared. And primal instinct took over immediately- I stood up, panting- looking around my room. "BRADY! BRADYYY!!!" I yelled out in a bloodcurdling scream, before hearing a thump.
Brady came like a bat outta hell from the opposite side of the hallway, in nothing but his boxers, fixing to knock someone's block off. "Dude, what the FUCK is going on!? It's three in the morning!"
"THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THE FUCKING ROOM!"
He looked around for a good three seconds, registering that there wasn't anybody in the room. "NO THERE ISN'T! I'M A LIGHT SLEEPER, I WOULD'A HEARD THEM! OUR DOORS ARE FUCKING OPEN!"
I went silent for a good ten seconds. "Now go the hell back the bed, you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack..."
"Ugh... fuckin'... eghgh..." I jumped in my bed, terrified, and forced my eyes shut.
Within minutes, I was sucked back into my slumber.
- - - - The Kitchen - 10:54 AM.
Me and Brady slept in a bit, even though we didn't specify a time to wake up since it was now Saturday. Me and him entered the kitchen after getting dressed and tending to our personal hygiene.
"So, what do you want to eat?" I asked Brady. "There's corn flakes, bread, milk, I can make eggs like a boss, which I will. You want one?"
"Hell yeah." Brady responded tiredly.
"How do you want 'em?"
"Sunny-side up." Brady replied.
"Sure thing." I cracked open two eggs, after buttering a pan up. I dumped the contents of the eggs into the frying pan. As soon as they made contact with the pan, I heard sizzling. I moved the eggs closer to one another, and put the lid to a pot on top of them, turning down the heat on the burner. It really helped make sunny-side eggs into what they are.
All the while, I stuck four pieces of bread into the toaster and flicked the toaster on.
"Should be done in a few minutes." I said, opening the fridge and taking out the margarine.
I whistled a random, improvised tune for about a minute, while Brady yawned in the middle of it.
To pass by time every little chance I got, I opened up one of the upper cupboards and took out two medium-sized plates.
Pop.
The toast was done. "Toast's done." I smiled triumphantly, quickly fetching the four pieces of toast from the toaster and cutting them into halves. I put the toast on a small plate, and then I tossed the butter onto the dining table, and Brady took off the lid as I grabbed two forks and a butter-knife from the silverware drawer, plopping the butter-knife into the butter.
I decided to fry-up some ham. So I did, opening the fridge again and grabbing some thick-cut slices of ham. I plopped them onto a different frying pan, and the aromatic, mouth-watering smell of the ham filled the air within minutes. As soon as the bottom side was browned, I flipped the four pieces I placed on there onto their non-fried sides, and in one minute, they were done.
I took that frying pan from the heat, and put two pieces of ham on each of our plates.
I looked back to the eggs, which were looking done. "Eggs're done too." I told aloud, walking over to the stove and taking the frying pan off of the heat, placing it on the counter, next to the other, empty frying pan. I then took my spatula again, and put one egg onto each of our plates, and walked over and served it to us both.
"Man I ain't had a good breakfast in a while, thanks man." Brady said, not hesitating to dig into the egg, followed by the ham and toast. Brady leaned back in his chair, likely indulging the texture and salty, velvety creaminess of the egg, the smoky, juicy ham slices, and the buttery, fluffy and airy toast. "Mm... not bad," He complemented.
"Thanks. Kinda interested in being a cook anyway," I returned the compliment, before me and Brady both continued to eat our meals. "And, no problem, for the breakfast."
"So, what was that all about last night? The fuck happened?" Brady asked curiously.
"Looked into it right as I woke up, apparently I experienced uh, sleep paralysis." I replied honestly.
Brady squinted at me. "Isn't that for like, kids?"
"No, all ages can experience it apparently, it just diminishes- well, uh, usually, in teen years. It can come back. Pretty much, I woke up and I couldn't- I couldn't move, right? So my eyes look over to the door and the guy I was telling you about last night was in the doorway with a knife, and he came towards me and I couldn't move. Disappeared, though. That's one of the usual things that occur with sleep paralysis apparently, or an overwhelming sense of uh, terror. I used to have that all the time as a kid. Fuckin' scared the shit outta me." I sighed. Brady nodded- understanding what I meant. Silence came over the room for a couple of seconds.
"Hey Zach, did your dad leave early or something?" Brady brought up the question as we put away our dishes.
"Yeah, before you came over he said he had to go to the airport to pick 'ma up. She's been on a vacation for a couple months now." I replied.
"Huh. Well, I gotta get going. Jordan's going wheeling with me, wanna come?" Brady asked hopefully.
I scratched my chin in thought, before deciding it'd be pleasant. "Sure. When are you going?"
"Right the hell now, remember? My house is in Aylesford, and we're in Yarmouth for Christ sake. I ain't walking." Brady laughed.
I grinned knowingly, and laughed as well.
"I'll go start up the car. Lock the fucking door when you come out, though."
- - - - My Car - 11:15 AM.
"Here in my car,"
"I feel safest of all,"
"I can lock all my doors,"
"It's the only way to live,"
"In cars!"
"Here in my car,"
"I can only receive,"
"I can listen to you,"
"It keeps me stable for days,"
"In cars!"
"Here in my car,"
"Where the image breaks down,"
"Will you visit me please?"
"If I open my door,"
"In cars!"
"Here in my car,"
"I know I've started to think,"
"About leaving tonight,"
"Although nothing seems right,"
"In cars!"
Me and Brady laughed hysterically, after singing 'Gary Numan - Cars' together. "WOOHOO!!!" I was laughing my ass off as we rocketed down the one-'o-one highway.
Brady was laughing so hard that he couldn't respond without it coming out in some-sort of incoherent babble.
Me and Brady were pals for life when we met; through a high-school dance a few years back. Even though he was two years younger than me, we both were very great friends.
We had been singing songs together for nearly a full hour of driving, but it passed by time like you wouldn't believe.
By now, we were approaching the Aylesford runoff, where I drove for.
- - - - Jordan's House - 12:53 PM.
"Zach! Long time no see, buddy!" Jordan exclaimed as I got out of the car. Jordan was just another old-time pal of mine, who took off his helmet as he rolled up beside the car on his four wheeler. "I see 'ya came along with Brady?"
"Well I couldn't walk here, I'd friggin' die or something, you dumbass!" Brady playfully punched Jordan in the shoulder.
"Alright, Zach, the 'wheelin gear is in the shed. Brady, come with me, we're gonna go get the other two four-wheelers." Jordan commanded, and we both complied, heading in the directions we were told to go to.
When I opened the shed, I almost instantly noticed the helmets, shin-guards and elbow-pads. There were two sets of them, both presumably for guests. I slipped mine on, and brought the other set out for Brady.
Soon, I heard the approaching sound of the two four-wheelers that Jordan and Brady went to retrieve. Very shortly, the two of them returned.
"Alright, pick a 'wheeler, Zach." Jordan told me as he and Brady hopped off of their wheelers.
"I'll ride this one." I said, hopping on a blue 'wheeler.
"Sweet, I wanted the yellow one." Brady followed, putting on his helmet and gear before hopping onto the yellow 'wheeler.
Jordan hopped on his red 'wheeler, and we set off for the trails.
- - - - Rough Beat Trails - 1:26 PM.
The three of us roared down the 'rough beat trails', as Jordan called them. He had a good reason for calling them that, too; as we whizzed down the trail further, the ride became bumpier, and bumpier, and bumpier. "Try not to go so fast or you'll fly off like a motherfucker!" Jordan called back.
Unfortunately, I didn't catch what he said. "Wha- AUGH!" I yelped, one of my tires hitting a large bump, sending the handlebar hard into my gut. I didn't let go, but I had the wind knocked out of me roughly.
Gasping for breath, I attempted to regain control of my vehicle, but I smashed into another bump, and I lost control, being sent flying from the 'wheeler.
"ZACH!"
"SHIT!"
"AH FUCK!"
I waited for the ground to meet my body horridly, but I kept falling. I just kept falling.
My eyes were pinned shut.
I finally opened my eyes, and I screamed even more.
I was fuckin' fallin' alright!
There was a light above me, but I was falling at such a rate that I couldn't see it fully. The light disappeared, and I began to feel dizzy. Was I undergoing an NDE? Saw a light, must've almost died there.
I struggled to remain conscious, but to no avail as my eyes slammed shut, my body fell limp, and my mind faded into unconsciousness.
A haze. That is the first thing I felt as I came to. I was sore, but thankfully no bones were broken. My vision was blurry, ears ringing slightly. I felt rather energetic for a moment as I awoke. It was strange, but it wasn't painful at the least.
At last, I opened my eyes, and they focused as I sat up.
All around me, was a white, frozen wasteland. I swear, even my bones shivered from the cold, the remorseless winter cracking my skin. I was already numb- and it wasn't good. I looked down at my hand, panicking as the skin began to lose its color. I needed to move to keep my body's heat in, but it was no use. My legs were stiff.
Now I started to truly panic. In the distance, rushing at a full blast, was a wall of snow- a raging blizzard. "It's just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare," I assured myself, before my hands began to burn from the cold. "Hnnng..." I groaned, closing both eyes.
When I opened them again, the wall was almost near me. I managed to finally free myself, and I ran. Each leg burned, still sore from before, but I ran as fast as I possibly could. The storm gained on me quickly. I wanted to swear, but it was hard to breathe, let alone talk at all. The bitter cold was biting at my back, threatening to swallow me whole as my legs begged me to stop.
Soon, thanks to my lack of stamina, I slowed down to take a breather.
It was the worst mistake I had ever made in the entirety of my life.
The temperature dropped far below freezing as snow covered me in little flakes, the cold smashing into me like a minotaur's war-hammer. With little choice in the matter, I fell to my knees due to the stress on my legs. I curled up into a ball, to keep as warm as possible, but the cold was remorseless.
It showed me no mercy. Not that I asked for any, but that storm was being a total piece of shit.
I succumbed to the effects of hypothermia. I want to say that I was totally manly and held out for a few minutes, but in the most were painful seconds of my life. Soon, I passed out.
Never to wake up again.
- - - - Almost a terasecond (32,000 years) later...
Hoofsteps trotted through the snow, leaving a trail. Muffled breaths gave off little clouds of water vapor into the air. It was almost strange, like this place did not want to have sound.
“When are we going to get there!?” a rather muffled, feminine voice shouted.
“Soon! If it weren’t for the blizzard I bet we’d be there already!” an aged, male voice replied, also muffled.
The voices belonged to a student, who was connected by a rope to a professor. Along with those two, a few other students, were all connected to one another by a rope of sorts. It was one big chain- one pony followed in the steps of the one before it. Everypony was wearing thick, protective, fur-lined clothing so that they wouldn’t suffer from the cold. Ski masks and goggles, along with petroleum jelly in their nasal cavities to prevent the cold from damaging the fragile tissue. While there were pesagi in the group, their wings were bundled up under the coats. This left them unable to fly, not that they could with the extreme cold anyway.
Suddenly, the line of rope became tense at the middle, and pulled everyone back as one of the team members screamed. Everypony fell down onto either their sides or their bellies as they went down. The professor tried to hang on as he came to the ledge, but his upper body strength wasn’t sufficient to hold up the team. The ice cracked as they all let out a yell, sliding down into the cave.
Just about ten seconds later, they all stopped sliding, bunching up together. “Is everypony okay!?” the professor asked. The only unicorn in the group started to use magic to help them up.
“Y-yeah...” one after another, they replied.
“Where... are we...?” the one unicorn of the group asked, panting slightly. A bit of light shone through the hole they fell into, but it wasn’t enough.
“We fell into a cave, it seems...” the professor said. “Karma, a light, if you would.”
The unicorn, Karma, nodded. “S-sure thing Indago...” her horn lit up, and the cave was lit.
“Grace, cut the rope. We’re staying here for the night, or until the blizzard settles.” Indago ordered. The pegasus in question nodded, and nuzzled around in her bag after taking it off, taking out a serrated blade. She quickly sawed through the rope on both her front and behind, holding the blade in her mouth as she walked around the pony behind her, cutting the rope. Everyone was free now.
“Professor, I can’t hold this light forever...” Karma warned.
Indago nodded, and took off his pack. He searched through it, until he found an ice pick and two lanterns. “Hold it for a few more minutes, would you?” he asked, as he used the pick to carve out two holders in the wall. He lit the lanterns, and placed them on the holders. They were long-handled lanterns, so they wouldn’t melt through the ice as quickly. “We have a source of light now... who has the kindling? We need a source of heat.”
“Not so fast, Inda, starting a fire in here would require us to be careful. Especially where we placed it- it could cause the ice to melt and collapse the cave. We’d have to make the fire low.” the other pegasus warned. “I suggest we all snuggle to maintain our body heat.”
Grace rolled her eyes at this, almost letting out a chuckle.
“Good point... good point.” Indago replied. “We should have enough supplies to last us a few days. Now I see that the cave extends further down, so I’m going to take a torch and explore. Now I want all of you to stay here, and work on setting up the camp. You can use any supplies you want, but please be sure to moderate your usage... especially with the fire fuel, that’s a necessity that we can’t toy around with.” the aged professor replied. “But I think snuggling is a good idea if we can’t make a fire. I’ve done that in some of my past explorations. Smart thinking, Karma.” he then took out a torch from his pack, and began to descend into the cave.
“Be careful, ‘Prof...” Grace said with concern in her eyes. She, along with the others, were still slightly shaken, but there were other things to worry about. Especially their survival. But, to a couple of them, this was their first foray into exploration. Of course, though, they realized the severity of the situation and helped each other set up the camp.
Indago couldn’t help but crack a small smile at this. “I will.” he replied. He stopped for a moment, taking out the flint and steel from a pocket in his jacket. With an experienced flair, he stroked them together, holding the steel in his mouth and the flint in his hoof. It was a dangerous move --one that almost made him blind in his left eye in the past--, but it created a spark and ignited the torch, illuminating the cave. He placed his flint and steel back in his pocket, and continued on.
The torch was soot covered. Which was a good thing. The earth pony occasionally tapped it hard against the ground, leaving a little bit of soot on the floor. The ice wasn’t melting below his hooves, so he didn’t need to worry. This technique was one he used quite frequently when exploring caves of ice- the soot stood out from the blueish walls and floors. Much like you would place something small behind you when exploring a forest, to find your way back.
The ground beneath the professor cracked. His trained ear and heightened sense of touch (and the fact that he was magically connected to the earth, due to him being an earth pony) felt the weak ground, even before it collapsed. He slid across the floor, looking back. It was a plummet into pure darkness- to where, nopony knew. Or wanted to know, for that matter.
He smirked, silently thanking Celestia for bestowing the gifts he had upon him. “Alright...” he ventured on, not stopping for a minute. Soon, he came to the end of the cave. It was one large room.
In the center of it was a lump of ice- a large one. It was formed in a very strange way, as though the ice was wrapping around something. The icy, ovaleptical room looked as though it was almost sheltering it from the cold. The rest of the cavern was made of brownish mineral and had ice as well, but it seemed to be made of stalactites. Eyes trained back on odd ice, he inspected it as he moved closer. There was something inside of it, that much he could tell.
Upon further inspection, his eyes widened. It was a body. Not only was it a body- it was wearing clothes. Its skin was pale, almost grey, from being frozen. Perfectly preserved in ice. “By the sun...” Indago took off his goggles, getting a better look at it. It was a bipedal creature- skinnier and shorter than a minotaur, but taller and wider than a chimpanzee. Its muzzle was also much smaller than anything he had ever seen. It was wearing what appeared to be a helmet, and some joint guards. Through the visor of the helmet, the creature appeared to be frozen while he was crying. “This must be the disturbance...” he muttered to himself.
A good question was, why would anypony be biking in the Frozen North?! And an even better question- why was this thing looking so fashionable? And how long had it been here?
The explorer began to formulate a plan in his head. Once he and his team returned to the train station, he would take a ride to Canterlot. After the others returned to their homes, of course.
Indago took out a compass, and marked the coordinates to the exact location down in his memory. He had an excellent memory, so he knew he wouldn’t forget it.
He began his ascension to the camp. He needed his rest, as he was getting rather exhausted. Then again, he had gone back into the cave to look for a way out.
- - - - Two Weeks Ago, in Appaloosa...
Indago never really understood why he loved living in Appaloosa. Maybe it was because he grew up there, and earned his cutie mark there. He just liked the town. The folk were friendly, and that’s all he ever needed.
He woke up, after a great night’s sleep. Indago yawned longingly, looking over to smile at his wife. He pecked her on the cheek sweetly, and got out of bed, stretching his limbs out. “Good morning...” his wife’s lovely voice said.
“Mornin’ honey.” Indago replied. “Rest well?”
She turned over, and nodded, yawning a bit. “Mhm...”
The explorer smiled at his wife, and walked out of the bedroom. He owned a small home, nothing too fancy, nothing too rural. It was casual, what could you expect from the town on the border of the wild southwest? He walked through the small living room, and out into the main hallway of the two-story home. Indago opened the front door, and trotted outside. He flipped open his mailbox, and pulled out a scroll.
But this was no ordinary scroll. It had the royal seal on it, not to mention the royal pegasi messenger waiting there for a response. What would the Princesses want with an old legend like him? “Thank you... sir,” Indago spoke. The messenger must have come only a minute before he came outside.
“A pleasure.” he replied.
His eyes widened, and he opened the scroll, taking it back into his home to read it over a cup of straight, strong coffee.
“Dear professor Indago Trail,
I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, send you this letter on the behalf of a deal. I have taken notice of your extraordinary skills as an explorer. I also know that you are not currently in your prime years- but I must ask you, as you are the most experienced explorer available, to escort a team of students through the Frozen North.
Normally, I would only send you alone to investigate this, but the head of the Equestrian University of Exploration and Archaeology asked me personally to send a team of rather inexperienced students along with you. This will give them the true experience of exploration. This is not just a learning experience, either. I need you to investigate a disturbance in the Frozen North.
You will be paid accordingly if you accept this offer. The UEA will provide you with any gear you and your team will require.”
“A disturbance...?”
- - - - Present Time, the Frozen North...
“Alright,” Indago Trail said as he returned to the camp, grabbing the attention of the students. “I found what I was sent for.” he informed the group.
“What did you find?” Karma asked, head cocked at the explorer.
“A body of a strange creature, encased in ice. I’m estimating that the ice is ancient- the creature was preserved like putting venison in a salt cooler.” when Indago was in the Gryphon Kingdom, he tried a delicacy- venison. He enjoyed it, especially after being marinated and slow-cooked. It was strange, since ponies were typically herbivores.
“Venison? Ew, you ate meat?” Grace asked in slight disgust.
“I was over in the Gryphon Kingdom when that happened.” he replied. “It was actually quite good.”
The others merely ignored the information, but thought about it. The pegasus stuck her tongue out in disgust and shook her head, making Karma chuckle a little bit.
Until she was hit by a drop of spit in the face. “Say it, don’t spray it, Grace!”
All of the team members had taken off their hoods and masks before he returned, since they got a fire up and going. A low, well-placed fire- odd, given the amount of air flowing through the cave. Then again, the camp wasn’t that far down; the hole was just about nine feet above their heads. Luckily, though, the bitter cold didn’t seep through into the cave so much, as the hill the cave was planted in was curved. Sleeping bags were set up as well, close but not too close to the flames.
“Well everypony, I gotta get some rest... we’ll continue on tomorrow. And, if anypony wakes up before me, use my pick to check if the blizzard’s passed by, if ‘ya would.” Indago snuggled-up into the covers, and shut both eyes.
Sooner or later, the others were huddled together, talking in whispers around the fire, as to not wake the aged professor. It seemed that they took to the idea idea of snuggling as responible adults. By totally making couples. “Y’know, I actually want to go see that creature...” Grace smirked.
“Oh please, I bet you’d scream your head off.” Karma remarked with a sly smile.
Grace frowned slightly. “Oh yeah? I bet you would too.”
“Girls, we... don’t even know what the creature looks like, so we can’t go around making assumptions.” the other pegasus reasoned.
“Good point Raincatcher...” Karma said.
Grace nodded in agreement, before yawning. “Well... I’m pooped.” she sighed, before trotting quietly over to the sleeping bag to the right of Indago’s. She slipped into it, and snuggled up. “Night, girls.”
“I’ll stay up and watch over the fire.” Karma said to Raincatcher.
“Okay... I’m not that tired though, so I’ll stay up with you.” the pegasus said. “Everypony needs a bit of company, afterall...”
“Yeah.” Karma smiled.
A few hours passed. Every so often, Karma would stoke the fire as they spoke quietly. Soon, Karma yawned. “I’m getting a bit tired... I’ll stay up a bit longer, then I’m going to sleep.”
Raincatcher nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay up for most of the night, then get a few hours of sleep, I guess.” she was still not tired; her sleeping schedule had been messed-up after going to a big party and passing out at four in the morning, waking up at two in the afternoon. Right now, it was just coming to midnight.
Outside the cave, the blizzard continued to rage on throughout the night.
- - - - The Trail's Home, Appaloosa, Present Time...
Mrs. Trail sat in her living room, a warm fire going in the wood stove. She was enjoying a cup of herbal tea. On the coffee table in front of her, she spied the scroll that her husband, Indago read. She levitated it and unrolled it to read it, as she was a unicorn. Her husband did inform her that he was leaving, but why and where were a mystery.
“Dear professor Indago...” she read the letter aloud. “Normally, I’d send you alone to investigate this... head of the UEA asked me personally to send a team of rather inexperienced students along with you...” she continued reading. “... to investigate a disturbance in the Frozen North?” Mrs. Trail stopped reading the letter, and thought aloud, “But why send an inexperienced team to do something so important? Shouldn’t the royal guard be sent to deal with something like that...? Or the Elements of Harmony even? Why would she even think of sending my husband without consulting me...? Isn’t he supposed to be retired?”
“Wait, what is the disturbance that would make Princess Celestia herself worry?” None of this was making sense...
Sometimes, you worry about the little things in life. The things we should normally overlook, that we should ignore. Much like death- it is a part of life, so why should you--correction--we worry about it?
Princess Celestia, the ever-wise and benevolent leader of Equestria, was worrying about one of these small things. She stood on her room’s balcony of elegant marble It was something like a tingling in the back of her head. A hunch, if you would. It wasn’t something normal, like forgetting something. One way or another, it had to do with something, but that ‘something’ she couldn’t put her hoof on. Apprehension? Maybe. She couldn’t remember the last time that occurred.
What the hay was it, then? Not even the calm, soothing breeze which flowed across her face could rid her of her worries. The air in Canterlot wasn’t as pristine as the air in Ponyville was, but it usually did the trick for her.
But it just wasn’t working this time. It was as if a tiny voice in her head was saying, ‘Worry’ for no reason whatsoever. It gave no motive, no ‘why’, and it agitated her greatly. And not the worry when she saw that picture of herself eating all that cake.
As if a life was hanging in the balance. But finally, the worries went away. Replaced by a burning curiosity, instead. She began to search her mind, to see if anything would come up. A ‘why’, a ‘where’ a ‘when’. Even a how, she didn’t care what it was that she found, as long as the alicorn could get a lead on her sudden worries.
A vision suddenly popped into her head, after almost half a minute of deep and focused memorizing. It was a dark room, with a glowing yellow light bulb hanging by a thread from an invisible ceiling. There was a chair, illuminated by the light. Quite suddenly, the light bulb shattered spontaneously, as if an unknown force had shut out the light.
She didn’t know what it meant at first, but what she saw next really made her mind wander. A pair of eyes, blue eyes, looked up. Piercing through the darkness, they welled-up with water. Was that... Tears? The tears that streamed down the face of the unknown creature froze, and they turned into little beads of ice and falling off. It resembled a crystal droplet that shattered when it hit the ground.
The light bulb flickered on once more, blinding the vision from her sight. The fading returned, and into another vision. A hill of ice and snow in a land of frost and cold, during a blizzard.
“A blizzard...?” Princess Celestia raised her eyebrows. ‘Is this supposed to be a vision of the future, or am I... simply going insane?’ she asked herself. She decided to walk back into her room and take out a map.
The picture of the land seemed familiar. The barren wasteland of ice and snow stayed in her mind, until she took out and unrolled the map of Equestria from a drawer in her room. It connected within mere milliseconds. “The Frozen North...” she spoke in a curious tone. The conundrum that she was experiencing finally came to an end. A teardrop, turning into an icy crystal. That alone should have made the connection, but it was quite an interesting metaphorical representation. Quite a mind-boggling one, too. Visions are really strange sometimes. At least this one was a bit more direct.
The last vision, prediction more like, she had was a dolphin jumping over the moon and a black and white wafer cookie, for example- meant that her sister wanted to bring eternal night. Now that took her awhile to figure out.
Luckily for her, she deduced that there was a form of disturbance in the Frozen North. But where exactly, she couldn’t tell. For now, however, she would search for somebody to explore and investigate this disturbance.
- - - - Four Hours Later...
Nopony. She could find nobody either who was willing to go into the Frozen North. Not a donkey, not a bear, not a gryphon- and they were the more study ones. At least, not yet.
Though, after looking through a book on explorers, famous ones, she got an idea. One of them, the greatest of them all, was still alive. Which was a stroke of luck, a huge one on Celestia’s end. Soon enough, she managed to find this ‘Indago Trail’, and mail him a letter.
The word about this got around and about. Very quickly, the UEA(University of Exploration and Archaeology)’s headmaster herself asked her in-person if she’d bring along a group of inexperienced students with the aged explorer. Keeping in mind the old saying ‘safety in numbers’, she agreed to the offer.
Though, sooner than she expected one to come back, she got a letter.
It was from Indago, which was great.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
You’ve offered me quite the opportunity here. An opportunity to relive the glory days of mine, to relive my dying passion. I’m nothing special, so let’s set that straight. My wife doesn’t want me to leave the household and explore like I used to, due to my age.
But I have the energy, I have the remaining little bit of my passion, for one last venture. Just one. I know the Frozen North like the back of my hoof, I’ve been there so many times. Get those students all geared and ready, or at least, tell them to get geared and ready. I’ll go over there and pick them up, provided you give me transportation.
- Indago.”
The Princess smiled at this, and let out a sigh of relief as she sipped at her Canterlotian tea. She closed her eyes, and got a pain in her head. Celestia winced as she almost dropped her teacup.
It was yet another vision. It was those eyes, the sky-blue eyes. Tears rolled down the face of the creature they belonged to, lighting up the face with a dim, blue light. It was a facial structure like nothing she had seen before. The creature was grimacing, as the vision zoomed out. The vision showed the full body of the creature, curled up into a ball.
It was bipedal from what she could guess, as it had hands (much like that of a Minotaur) instead of hooves on its upper arms, its long legs also making it awkward to go on all fours. It wore black denim jeans and a belt of leather, with a black leather jacket. Under the jacket was a white shirt that she couldn’t see much of, due to the jacket.
The most peculiar thing was the helmet it wore- it was almost teardrop shaped, when looking at it from the left or right. The visor of the helmet only barely shrouded the biped’s expression of hopelessness, helplessness and utter emotional agony as it was frozen in ice, in a hill-covered cave of ancient ice before the mountains. It was both a painful sight, and one that was a disclosure to an assumed location at which the creature was.
She was both in awe and denial of what she just saw. A sapient being, well, after relating it to a minotaur, was trapped and preserved in ice, many thousands of years ago. That helmet was certainly a sign of design and flair.
“But if it was that long ago... how did it happen?” Celestia asked nobody in particular. She began to assume. As it was -out of assumption- that long ago, could it have been the work of Discord? But why would he even consider bringing a creature into the world by way of his omnipotent magic?
Celestia furrowed her brow as she set it aside, before writing down the coordinates to the area in which she best-assumed the creature was, along with a quick note. Making it urgent, she lit up her horn, and the letter disappeared into thin air.
Only to reappear in Indago Trail’s mailbox.
- - - - A Week Later, the Frozen North...
Beams of light cracked through the hole of the cavern, and into the camp as the sun rose high into the sky. Raincatcher, the pegasus mare who watched over the fire, had flown up to the hole to check if the blizzard had passed by. She smiled tiredly in relief, as the blizzard had passed them by overnight. “Guys, wake up...” Raincatcher yawned as the others cracked open their eyes.
“Aaahhh... mornin’ girls.” Professor Indago said, getting up quickly.
“Mm...” Grace replied dully, wanting a few more hours of sleep.
Karma, however, got up a bit slowly. Stretching out her hooves over her head, she yawned. Thanks to their huddling and cuddling, they stayed warm during the night. “Good morning...”
“C’mon now, Grace, get off ‘yer haunches and wake up. We got a long walk ahead of us, and we can’t be dawdling around.” Indago ordered.
The pegasus rolled her eyes and did as she was told. “Alright, alright...” her back ached as she got up. She unfortunately slept the wrong way, and now she was paying the price.
“Professor Indago, I’d like to ask if we could go see this creature?” Karma questioned, opening her eyes a bit more.
Indago let out a long sigh. “I suppose, as long as you’re all with me. There’s a hole in the cave ground, and I sure as buck ain’t lettin’ y’all hurt yourselves. Understood?” he asked the question with a sense of authority, which he had and upheld without hesitation. Even after waking up.
“When will we be going, then?” Karma asked.
“Whenever all of ‘ya are ready.” Indago replied.
Grace sighed, sniffling a little bit. “Hey ‘Prof., I need a few minutes.”
“What’s wrong?” Indago asked with concern.
“Just wakin’ up. Think I caught a small cold, nothing big.” the pegasus replied.
Indago nodded. “You take your time, alright? Oh, and, Rain, did the blizzard pass us over?” he asked.
The mare in question nodded. “Mhm. I... could use a bit of rest, so I won’t be coming along with you all.” she said, laying down on her bedroll and closing her eyes.
“Sure thing... now, you all good to go, Grace?” the legendary explorer questioned.
“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” she replied, before walking beside the professor and the unicorn.
“Good. Now, come on.” Indago ordered, walking forth into the cave, igniting the torch that he grabbed from his pack.
“Wow... so this is ancient ice?” Karma asked as they went deeper and deeper into the cave.
“It sure is.” Professor Trail replied. “Built up over thousands of years. Just so happened to make this cavern, pretty convenient if you ask me.” he chuckled a little bit.
“Definitely...” the unicorn agreed.
Sooner or later, they reached the room with the lump of ice. “Well...” Indago said, “Here we are.” he stopped walking.
“And there it is!” Karma rushed over to the lump of clear ice, her curious eyes glued to it, scanning it like a hawk.
“What the... hay is it?” Grace cocked her head at the creature’s form. “Better yet... what is it wearing?” and this is why her full name was ‘Graceful Threads’. She had a talent for fashion, but she didn’t like what fate had decided for her. So she tried to veer off the path which was paved for herself, but it became harder than she thought.
“Clothes, maybe?” Indago smirked sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, shush...”
“Do you think it’s alive?” Karma asked the professor.
“Nope.” Indago replied simply. “With the magic that we have now, it can be resurrected, yeah. But as it stands now, it’s as dead as the tumbleweeds that go by my home every now and then. The thing’s blood is frozen. Even if we unthaw it and let it sit in the sun, it’ll still be nothing but a corpse.”
“I wouldn’t think so quickly, Inda.” Karma retorted. Her horn was already ignited. “It isn’t dead. Like you said earlier, it was preserved in ice. It is merely in a coma. Once we unthaw it, it will be conscious, but numb as hay.”
“Well we don’t know everything, so we can’t go around making assumptions.” the professor reasoned. “Alright, we’ve seen it for enough time. We gotta go pack up and get a move on. We’re just burnin’ daylight.” he began to walk back to the camp, followed by the two mares.
Once they were back, Trail thought aloud, “Now... how to get out...”
“It’d be tough on me, but I could fly up and throw down a rope.” Grace offered.
Indago thought for a moment. “No, we need to climb out. Our hooves weren’t designed to wrap around things like a minotaur’s hands do. I have an idea...” he picked up the ice pick that Raincatcher took, and began to pick away at the wall, until finally, he made three large blocks, each larger than the other. He placed them in front of one another, small to large. The whole process took nearly half an hour. “Alright...” Indago put away and put on his gear, wiping sweat off of his forehead. “Raincatcher! Wake up and get your stuff packed, we’re leaving.”
Raincatcher almost had a heart-attack, but she was alright as she got up. She didn’t say a word, she just began to pack without even thinking about it. Since she didn’t get three hours of sleep, she didn’t even begin to get into the REM stage of sleep. Thereby, she felt like she didn’t even sleep at all.
“Okie doke... I’m ready.” Karma said, having packed up all her stuff last.
“Good. Now, I remember the coordinates, so don’t worry about asking.” Indago informed the group.
“You must have a really good memory then...” Karma complemented.
Smiling, Indago chuckled. “Hah, I guess you could say that. Thanks.”
“Not a problem.” Karma smiled back at him, before walking up the makeshift staircase. It was a bit wobbly, but nothing too unstable. She had to jump and pull herself out to get out, but it worked in the end.
“Alright Rain, you’re up.” the professor said.
Raincatcher nodded and walked up the staircase, being careful not to slip as she pulled herself up. She didn’t have to jump, due to her height.
Soon, everyone was out of the hole, and trotting through the snow once again. The fire had gone out by now, which was a good thing.
But the bad only just begun, as the ceiling of the cave began to split and crack from the remaining heat.
Indago heard this, and his eyes widened when he saw the hill’s surface beginning to crack and split. “Move, MOVE!” the professor yelled, as the cracks began to head towards the group. In a split second, they all began to make a run for it. They already fell down once, and nopony was in the mood to go for a tumble again.
The ground caved in, revealing other caverns around the main one. They ran for what felt like an hour, but was truly a minute. The caving-in ground was right on their tails, threatening to devour them whole if they fell into the pits of newly-formed jagged, serrated blades of ice.
When they were quite far out, they stopped running. Panting, Indago looked to the cave. The one they fell into was just the center of a humongous cavern. All of the others were blocked off by walls of ice.
Luckily though, the main cave was still able to be accessed. With a little bit of digging of course, to get the ice out of the way. But the top of the descending hole could be seen.
“By Celestia...” Indago gasped at the newly-formed canyon of ice. “Let’s... let’s get back to the train station.”
“With... pleasure...” Grace said as they all stood up, beginning to walk back.
“Let’s... also hope that the area stays stable so the Princess’s excavation team can get the cre-” Karma said, before Grace interrupted her.
By kissing her on the lips. Karma’s cheeks went bright red, but she giggled and pulled away. Grace rolled her eyes. “Just shut up and be glad that we made it...” the pegasus joined the unicorn in a giggle as well, before they went along.
“... Karma, Grace...? You two are in a... relationship?” Raincatcher was just confused.
Karma just nodded. “Mhm... you don’t have a problem with that, do you?” she asked, her eyes showing a bit of concern.
“Girls, if you’re all done worrying about the sexual orientation of one another, can we stop dawdling and get a darn move on?” Indago snapped, which made the girls silence themselves and continue trotting through the snow.
- - - - Many Hours Later, the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters...
Indago decided to speak to Celestia about this in-person. Normally, one would schedule an appointment for this kind of thing, but this was urgent. The guards out front initially wouldn’t let him pass, but they let him through when he said, “It is urgent news that is relevant to the disturbance in the Frozen North. I am professor Indago Trail of Appleoosa.”
Soon, Indago found himself sitting in a chair, having a cup of tea with the Princess of the Sun herself. He had only seen her maybe once or twice in his entire lifetime, but they were in public events. Never had he actually talked to her in-person like this. Looking at her was already a task; she was just a lovely mare to stare at. “So, what did you find, Professor Indago?”
“Please, Celestia, if you would... don’t call me by a title. I don’t really appreciate feeling like I’m being exalted above somepony else. Just... just call me Indago, or Inda. Whatever you please.” Inda said, rather blatantly. The hint of nervousness could also be picked up, but it wasn’t very noticeable.
“Very well then, Indago. What did you find in the Frozen North?” Celestia asked.
If it weren’t for the urgency of the situation, Indago would have almost lost himself in her eyes. “It was a cavern. The team and I fell into it, but we came out unscathed. We stayed the night there. While they did, I went deeper into the cave. Once I reached the end of it, I found a lump of ice in a room. Upon further inspection, the lump of ice was... housing a creature.”
Celestia stopped him right there. “Hold on. Describe this creature, please.”
Indago nodded, though he quickly caught wind of the change in her gaze. He went on to describe the creature, trying to remember the details since he didn’t write anything down. “It was a bipedal creature, curled up into a ball. It was wearing clothes, and a helmet of sorts, I believe. And I also believe that it is either dead, or in a severe coma. Either way, though, we can unthaw and resurrect it with magic.”
“Interesting...” Celestia was obviously holding back some enthusiasm, as he described it as it was almost exactly as she saw it in the vision. “Did you take any notes or pictures?” She asked.
“Yes, yes I did... but they were lost after the cave collapsed.” Indago winced.
“The cave collapsed?” Celestia almost sounded disappointed.
The stallion panicked in the back of his mind. “Y-yes, it did. I know the coordinates to the exact location of the creature though. Your excavation team will just have to dig straight down, or dig through the... canyon of ice to get to the creature.” he said.
The Princess nodded. “I see. So my options are dig or dig?” Princess Celestia teased, her left eyebrow raised.
“Aheh. Yes, I... did realize how silly I sounded when I said it outloud.” Indago chuckled, the Princess joining him.
They both finished off their cups of tea, conversing with one another. “Indago, would you like to stay the night here at the castle?” Celestia asked.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t--” the professor was cut off.
“Nonsense, I wouldn’t have the greatest explorer of all time come here just for a conversation, only to be sent back home in Appleoosa. I’ll have a guest room set up for you.” Celestia pretty much destroyed him with authority.
Seeing as there was no arguing with it at this point, Indago sighed. “Alright then... thank you, then, Celestia.” It was a good thing that Celestia was alright with him calling her as such. He didn’t want to make a bad first impression. Especially with royalty.
Celestia kept her word, and got a few royal maids to clean and set up a guest room. One with a view, like he requested.
The aged earth pony explorer practically jumped onto the soft, fluffy bed.
In minutes, Indago was sound asleep.
- - - - Meanwhile, in Celestia’s Room...
The Princess had decided to write a letter to a special student of hers. Twilight Sparkle, the physical embodiment of the mysterious Element of Magic.
What she wrote and sent was as follows:
“Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student,
Recently I have sent out a team of explorers, who included the all-famous Indago Trail. You may or may not know of him, but it is a great chance that you do, due to all the books you’ve read. He, along with the team, investigated a disturbance in the Frozen North. I wanted to tell you about it before the disturbance was dealt with.
You see, this ‘disturbance’ isn’t truly a disturbance. It is a bipedal, sapient creature. This being was frozen, preserved in ice for thousands of years. I plan on sending a crew to excavate the creature from the frozen ice, bringing it back to the castle’s basement in Canterlot, and thawing it.
If it is dead, I will require your help to resurrect it. But Indago Trail assumed that it was either dead or in a coma. Resurrection spells are hard to perform, even for somebody of my caliber of expertise. I wish to thaw this creature in order to find out about a hunch I had.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia.”
BONUS!:
- - - - Meanwhile, in a Dark, Dark Place...
I let out a groan inside my head. I was still damn conscious, and it sucked! I was in one long-ass lucid dream! I ‘lived’-out each one of my fantasies, EVERY. LAST. ONE, again and again! And now this stupid, disturbing video I watched was stuck in my head like a damn broken record!
Twilight Sparkle was just waking up when she received a letter. More like a loud belch from downstairs. For once in her life, she was in bed. The purple bedsheet slid down her mane slowly as her mouth opened and closed lightly after a large yawn.
After a long night of studying, the unicorn didn’t have the energy to stay up through the day. Although she knew that sleeping in the day was unhealthy, she had no choice, as her body’s needs were greater than her own willpower.
“H-huh?” Twilight snapped awake as the scroll which came from her number one assistant, Spike, smacked her in the face. The day was dawning the night with a sea of crimson at this time- rays of beautiful orange and red coming through the windows, growing ever-darker as the sun descended sleepily behind the shadowy mountains.
Lazily, the unicorn’s horn lit up. With her magic, she levitated the scroll in front of her face, and unrolled it to read it properly. “It’s from Princess Celestia...” Spike said groggily as he hiccupped, making himself jump. He hiccupped again, falling on his rump. Again and again, he hiccupped until he finally bounced down the stairs.
He was fine. Even though Twilight saw this happen many times, she giggled before reading the letter aloud in a rather quiet voice, with a sense of urgency.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student,
Recently I have sent out a team of explorers, who included the all-famous Indago Trail. You may or may not know of him, but it is a great chance that you do, due to all the books you’ve read. He, along with the team, investigated a disturbance in the Frozen North. I wanted to tell you about it before the disturbance was dealt with.
You see, this ‘disturbance’ isn’t truly a disturbance. It is a bipedal, sapient creature. This being was frozen, preserved in ice for thousands of years. I plan on sending a crew to excavate the creature from the frozen ice, bringing it back to the castle’s basement in Canterlot, and thawing it.
If it is dead, I will require your help to resurrect it. But Indago Trail assumed that it was either dead or in a coma. Resurrection spells are hard to perform, even for somebody of my caliber of expertise. I wish to thaw this creature in order to find out about a hunch I had.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia.”
“What?! She sends a famous explorer and a few students, but not me!?!” Twilight’s tone clearly stated her envy with a bold green underline. How dare she!? How dare she send somepony else, rather than the Elements of Harmony! They dealt with Nightmare Moon, for pony’s sake!
“Twilight! Maybe she just didn’t want you getting hurt!” Spike reasoned from downstairs, having heard her outburst.
Considering what Spike had said, Twilight thought aloud, “Okay... now that I think about it...” Twilight sighed. She clearly realized how silly she sounded, getting all riled-up over a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see a- “I will head to Canterlot!” the unicorn decided. Sending a spell via scroll was obvious, but her interest was peaked. Just who was more qualified than her? Rubbing her eyes to get out the crust in them, the unicorn blinked a few times and removed her hooves from her face. Then, the Element of Magic hopped out of bed, as quick as a cat.
“Spike! Spike!” The mare called out.
“What?” Spike asked, his tone hinting at a bit of nausea. He was dawdling up the stairs with stars going around his head.
“I’m going to Canterlot sooner or later. Could you please look after the library for me?” Twilight requested as she began to pack a few books and notepads, along with some quills and ink vials.
Knowing that regardless of the answer he gave, Spike would end up staying here anyway. Yeah, sure. It made sense, letting a dragon younger than ten years old watch over a public library. Sheesh, he knew the library collection better than she herself did. “Why are you... going to Canterlot this time for?” the baby dragon asked, rather confused as to why Twilight would just, suddenly decide to do this for no reason.
“Read the letter.” Twilight ordered simply, levitating the scroll over to Spike.
He took it, and read it. “Wow, you’re... going to see some creature?” Spike didn’t really understand why Twilight was interested in these kinds of things. Nor could he really understand some of the words in the letter, like ‘sapient’ or ‘bipedal’.
Either way, though, Twilight replied, “Of course! It’s a sapient being!”
“Meaning...?” Spike cocked his head at the unicorn.
“Meaning that the creature can experience emotion, and can talk! Like a minotaur. You know what those are, right? You have read the books I gave you on Equestrian creatures, right?” Twilight asked.
The dragon squinted as he began to remember. “Uhhh... yes, I did. Minotaurs are like big, two-legged bull-type things, right? You know, you coulda said griffons and I would’ve gotten it too.”
The mare nodded. “Mhm! I’m glad that you’re starting to study things, Spike. You should be proud of yourself!” Twilight smiled at Spike.
Who just looked off a page, then put the book on Equestrian Creatures back where he found it, before Twilight saw. Even though this was so, Spike blushed a dim crimson. “Well uh... thanks, Twilight.”
“No problem. Thanks for keeping watch over the library for me! There’s a tub of strawberry ice cream in the fridge for you by the way!” Twilight said, after going downstairs.
“Phew,” Spike sighed in relief. ‘Twilight is like a hawk sometimes...’ He thought to himself, before grinning widely as he heard the door open, and Twilight walk out. “Strawberry? My favorite!”
He then proceeded to rush downstairs, to open the freezer and gorge on the ice cream like a pig.
“Sorry future Spike’s gut! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!”
- - - - Half an Hour Later, The Ponyville Train Station...
“Ohhh, c’mon c’mon c’mon!” Twilight paced around impatiently. She had paid the price for the ticket, and was now paying the price for her impatience. By waiting for nearly twenty minutes at the train station. Her hooves moved up and down more than Rarity did when the alabaster unicorn was agitated. What was the word Pinkie Pie used? Nervecited?
Finally, Celestia answered her prayers and sent a savior to her. The train rolled down the tracks, and screeched to a stop at the station. “WOOHOO!” Twilight practically zoomed onto the train.
“All aboar-OOF!” The conductor was tackled by the lavender unicorn.
“Sorry sorry sorry sorry! I didn’t see you there and--”
“It’s... okay...” the stallion choked out, getting to his hooves with the help of the unicorn. He coughed, and cleared his throat. “All aboard for Canterlot city!” he declared. With his best rape face. ‘That oughta teach her to mind her manners,’ he thought. Twilight lowered her ears against her face, having the decency to at least be ashamed of her actions and trot away.
The other ponies in the area trotted onto the train, having paid for their tickets and what-not.
Soon enough, the train hustled and puffed, before it began to travel along the tracks to Canterlot. Twilight made sure to stay hidden from that conductor. By now, night had fell upon Equestria’s graceful skies.
- - - - Almost Two Hours Later, the Entrance to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters...
As Twilight walked up to the gates, the guards did nothing to stop her, aside from a greeting from the one to the right. “Good evening Miss Sparkle.”
Twilight smiled. “Hello. Is Princess Celestia busy?” she asked.
Much to her surprise, the alicorn herself appeared before her, after the gates opened magically. “No, I am not busy. What do you need, my faithful student?” the Princess asked. “But before we get onto those matters, please, come with me.” she invited with a warm smile, turning around so Twilight could follow her mentor to the castle.
“Oh, o... kay.” the Princess’s prized pupil complied, following her closely. “I uh... was wondering if I could stay at the castle until the creature was... resurrected? And maybe help out if it is dead?” Twilight asked, being careful with her words. As this was a rather strange situation.
Celestia nodded. “Of course you can. And since you are one of the most powerful unicorns in this generation, we could certainly use your help to lift the ice that houses the creature.” She lead her into the elegant, silent castle.
Twilight hadn’t really been to the castle all that much, but since she lived in Canterlot in the past, she wasn’t too surprised by it. It was still an impressive structure, though. “Thank you, Princess.”
“Did you know that Indago Trail is staying here too?” Celestia looked to her student, who grew a look of excitement.
“Really? He is?” Twilight smiled.
The Princess of the Sun nodded. “Yes, indeed he is. He’s asleep though, so unfortunately you cannot visit with him. He needs his rest.”
“I see... well, I stayed up all night last night and slept through the day. So unfortunately, my sleeping schedule is all messed-up,” Twilight chuckled, joined by the Princess momentarily.
“That is fine, my student. I’ll have a guest room set up for you soon. The royal study is all yours tonight as well. I am getting rather tired.” Celestia did have bags under her eyes, after all.
Twilight grinned widely. “Thank you, Princess.”
The two of them hugged, and went their ways. “Have a good night.” Celestia said with a smile.
- - - - The Next Morning, in The Castle...
Indago Trail yawned as he cracked his eyes open. He was staring at the ceiling of his room in the Castle. “Well...” he said to himself, before thinking, ‘That had to be the best sleep I’ve had in years... I gotta get me one of these beds...’ He chuckled heartily as he got to his hooves. The professor then walked out of his room. Now, what should he expect today? Breakfast with the Princess? A ride home? Perhaps he would be asked to lead the digging team?
He decided that he could at least expect to have a well-prepared meal with royalty. Indago slowly walked down the corridor, looking for the dining room. Along the way, he heard some snoring coming from a room.
He chose to investigate this, and opened the door to said room. There was a lavender unicorn mare, sleeping on the bed. ‘Is that... Twilight Sparkle?’ Indago asked himself. He knew the Sparkle family. He had once been asked to watch over Twilight when she was a filly, before some ‘Cadence’ mare took his place. Twilight was a sweet filly, a lovely young lady. That is, within the time Indago knew her. But now she had grown up. ‘Has it really been that long?’ he smiled.
With a sigh, Indago left the room. Soon, he bumped into, well, more like found Celestia. She was in the dining hall, eating breakfast with her sister. “Mornin’ Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.” He had heard of Princess Luna before, but had never seen her in person. She was very pretty. It seemed that both of the alicorns had something in common; a flowing mane.
“Greetings and fair morning to thou, explorer Indago Trail. It is a vast pleasure to meet you.” Princess Luna stood from her seat, to shake hooves with the stallion.
With a chuckle, Indago accepted her hoof and shook it gently. “Thank ‘ya. It’s an honor to meet you as well.” He said, before sitting down.
Luna sat down after Indago did, and continued to munch down on her breakfast. Politely, as a Princess should, though.
“Your breakfast should be out in a moment or so.” Celestia told him, sipping on her tea.
“Y’know, ‘ya honor me Princess, but y’all shouldn’t’ve gone through the trouble. What did you get for me?” Indago asked.
“I heard of your adventures in the Gryphon Kingdom, and how you actually enjoyed the taste of venison. So I had our sous chef Jacque prepare you some homemade venison sausage with a hay and potato patty with some green onions. Does that sound good?” Celestia questioned.
Inda chuckled. “Sounds just amazin’, Princess. I feel spoiled.”
The three of them around the table shared a laugh. But they didn’t notice Twilight Sparkle standing in the doorway. Not yet, at least.
“Venison...?” Twilight mumbled under her breath. Wait a tick... that sounded like- meat? A pony that ate meat? She felt sick to her stomach, which was easily portrayed by her suddenly bulged-out cheeks and green face.
The unicorn then proceeded to zip out of the dining hall, faster than a deer running away after being startled.
“Was that... Twilight?” Celestia glanced over to the door.
Twilight panted, trying to get that image out of her head. A pony, famed archeologist and professor- killing a deer and eating it.
- - - - Two Hours Later, Celestia’s Quarters...
“I want you to simply excavate the creature which is encased in ice. Here are the coordinates, captain.” Celestia handed a piece of paper to a unicorn captain, who was in charge of the retrieval expedition. “All you need to do is simply dig straight down.”
The captain looked over the coordinates. “You ain’t got one thing to worry about, Princess. Me and my team’ll have it out by midnight, and my delivery crew will have it back here by morning.”
“Thank you very much, captain. You’re doing a great service to me by doing this.” Celestia smiled at the stallion.
“Anytime, sweet cheeks.” The captain let out a chuckle as he walked out of Celestia’s quarters.
The Princess smirked devilishly in response to this. ‘Sweet cheeks?’
- - - - The Next Day...
As promised, the hunk of ice containing the bipedal creature was delivered by morning. “Quite a reliable service...” Celestia said. Crowds were gathered outside of the castle, but were held back by the Royal Guard.
The Princesses, Twilight Sparkle and Indago Trail were in the basement of the castle, in a large room with a stone tub. Which contained the constantly-dripping water which came from the ice. Along with many other unicorns, most of them scholars. All of them were gawking at the creature, save for Indago and the Princesses. This wasn’t anything like anypony had ever seen before.
The unicorn scientists were at the ready. “Professor Indago, I recommend you remove yourself from the room. The temperature will rise immensely. They who are not unicorns or alicorns will be burned alive.” A stallion with a ‘nerdy’ voice and a lab coat ordered.
The plan was to melt the ice as quickly as possible. That is why so many unicorns were needed for the thawing. Indago quickly complied, removing himself from the room.
“Alright. Time to perform the thawing... get ready everypony.” The head scientist said. The sound of magic filled the air as nearly twenty horns ignited. “Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four...”
Twilight bit her lip, as the sound of magic became louder. The energy in the room could be seen, it was so bright. Everypony had to close their eyes, and let their magic see for them, to not be blinded. Their target was in sight.
They locked on.
“... two...”
“One... commence the thawing!”
With all of the magic channeled into one target, the thick ice melted in seconds. “Stop!” The head scientist ordered, making everypony stop. The ice was melted, leaving the biped unscathed, but covered in almost two feet of water.
“Check its heart rate.” Celestia ordered. One scientist did as commanded, after levitating the being out of the water and onto a gurney.
“It’s dead, your highness.” He declared. Some gasps were heard.
Indago managed to hear this. “I knew it...” he thought aloud.
“No matter,” the Princess said. “Bring him to the hospital and set him into a recovery room.” Celestia’s horn lit up, and she quickly scanned the thawed blood and body of the creature. She couldn’t pinpoint his blood type. “Give him a positive O-type blood transfusion, so that he can survive when he wakes up. If the resurrection spell doesn’t work, see if you can restart his brain and heart with a minor electrical shock.”
It was obvious that the thing was male- due to its physical form and unmistakably male reproductive system (yes, she checked with her magic).
“A-at once, Princess.” the group quickly made the trip to the Canterlot hospital by teleportation.
Very quickly, the dead biped was set into a recovery room, on a large-sized bed. They had him hooked up to an IV with O+ type blood.
A team of unicorns, along with the Princesses and Twilight Sparkle, began to talk. “Okay,” the head scientist had come along too, who was speaking. “We all know the revival spell, don’t we?”
The entire team nodded. “Commence it on three. One.” The room lit-up with the colors of magic, coming from the horns of the unicorns and alicorns. “Two.” The lights got brighter, but not too bright. “Three!”
And all at once, the magic was channeled into the creature’s body. The ponies strained. This spell was supposed to be impossible to perform on your own. But with Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna and Celestia with the team givin g it their all, it was starting to work.
- - - - ...
It hurt. Oh it hurt like a filly-fooler. The Princesses winced, as they could feel their very life force beginning to be taken away. The others were on the brink of screaming, some crying. It was that agonizing.
Two minutes. Two minutes which felt like two decades to everypony, finally passed, and the spell was finished. The only one standing, though weakly, was Princess Celestia. Everypony else was either unconscious, or on the brink of passing out.
You see, this spell wasn’t a normal spell. The zebra people made a necromantic incantation to bring back the dead, and it just so happened to pop up in the Canterlot archives. And since the ponies weren’t much of a ‘spiritual’ people as much as they were a ‘magical’ people, Celestia had to ‘translate’ it, if you would, into a spell. A spell that took away your own life force, and gave it to another who was dead. In a group is how the spell best worked.
Princess Celestia finally couldn’t handle the stress, and collapsed.
- - - - Two Hours Later...
Soon, everypony came to. All but the Princesses and Twilight left, dawdling back to their homes and/or workplaces. They looked to the heart rate monitor after standing up.
Their faces showed hopelessness as they saw nothing but a flat line.
But they lit-up, as my heart came back online. Its slow, weak, rhythmic beats being shown on the monitor. “He’s... alive...” Twilight said.
Their heads turned... as I took my first breath. Princess Celestia moved forward slowly now that she was feeling better. Eyes closed a little, she inspected my shirt.
Sometimes, I hate gag gifts. I really fucking hate them.
“What the... His shirt reads, ‘Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he only eats... unicorns’?”
Two whole weeks of silence had passed. Two weeks of nothing but the constant check-in from Twilight and other ponies, as I remained in my coma. I was a vicious paperweight on the bed. Watching, to see if you would make the first move.
The look of peace on my face was shrouded by the bandages, as my skin cracked hours after I was brought back to life. Everything but my mouth, nose and eyes were covered. I was given constant sponge baths to keep my skin from dehydrating and smelling all funky.
I would later learn that every time my genitals were washed, I blushed.
(I probably wouldn’t ask who did it, for fear of my shame. And sanity.)
My heartbeat became stronger as the days passed, my lone breaths making my chest rise up and down. Slowly.
Once again, the studious Twilight Sparkle came into my room, and sat on the chair next to my bed. She had brought a quill and notepad with her, just in case. Not like she needed it, she would think. Because every time she checked up on me, I did nothing but lay there. Silently.
“Twilight,” Called professor Indago’s voice as he walked into the room. He sounded like an older version of Big Macintosh, the South in his accent with a strong, experienced edge to it.
“Hmm? Oh, hello Indago.” Twilight smiled at the professor.
His coat was of a simple beige, cutie mark of a parchment and compass. His mane was two-toned, black and dark grey. There was no tail on his rump. His eyes were a light, almost pale blue. “He’s still not awake?” Indago asked, looking to the lavender mare beside him as he stopped walking.
Twilight shook her head. “No...” The shirt that I wore was taken by Twilight (without anypony knowing), and burned. With magic. She didn’t want anyone thinking that I was hostile. Or at least, she took some precautions.
“Heh. He must be one heck of a heavy sleeper, don’t ‘ya think?” Indago chuckled.
Twilight joined him momentarily, saying, “I guess so-”
She was interrupted by a mumble in my sleep. “Ugggh... nooo, not maple syrup...” I croaked out in the groggiest voice ever.
‘Maple syrup?’ Twilight cocked her head at me, before gasping. “He can speak Equestrian!” she exclaimed, looking to Indago.
“So you’re sayin’ that he’s native to Equestria?” The retired explorer raised his brows, before he squinted at me.
“Ugh, uh- huh, wha...” I woke up, making both of their eyes go wide. But my eyes were glued shut. “What is- wh... where... am I?” I spoke in a weak voice.
“You’re in a hospital bed.” Indago replied. He looked to Twilight, and shrugged.
“Why can’t I open my eyes...?” I thought aloud, my face contorting slightly. “W-wait, what happened to me?” I asked, turning my head towards the direction of the voice. I couldn’t feel anything. Nothing at all, not even my clothes. And the smell. This didn’t smell like any hospital I had been in. This in turn caused me to be insecure and uncomfortable.
“Should I tell ‘im?” Indago glanced over at Twilight as he asked this in a whisper.
Twilight thought for a moment. “Hello? What happened to me?” I asked, rather, demanded in a panicky tone. Ergh. My tongue and mouth felt weird too. Not dry, but sore.
Since Twilight didn’t answer, Indago asked, “What do you remember?”
“Being... falling off of the four wheeler, then I just... kept falling, I-I think I passed out...” I answered.
“Four wheeler? What’s that?” Twilight questioned.
Initially, I didn’t render the ultimately familiar voice. “You gotta be shitting me, nurse, come on. You don’t know what a damn four wheeler is? Really?” Although I sounded angry (even though my voice was weak), I was much more disappointed. Was I in the boonies or something?
“Somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed...” The startled unicorn said to Indago. That wasn’t the answer she was expecting, but then again, I had just gotten up.
“Hah, ‘ya think?” Indago snickered.
“Alright, what kind of underground crack-house-hospital is this?! Where’s Brady? Jordan?” I was panicking, trying to force open my eyes. It was like I needed a damn crowbar to do so.
I lifted up my arms, and heard a giant crack. Out of instinct, I yelped. “UAH! What the HELL?!”
“Calm down, please.” Indago said, stepping forward. “For Celestia’s sake, you’re scaring the hay outta her.” he scolded in a whisper.
The panicked expression I had on my face quickly dissolved, like plasma had been poured over my facial features. “What did you... j-just say?”
“You’re scaring her.”
“No no, no no no, before that.”
“... For Celestia’s sake?”
“Alright, I need my eyes open. Now.” I said, raising my right arm up off the bed, hearing a crack. I ignored it, and made a fist, hearing the stiff joints in my fingers pop like popcorn. I did the same with my other arm and hand, and with both index fingers and thumbs, I pried my eyes open. It hurt, but my vision was insanely blurry. My eyes winced in pain from the sudden intake of light, my pupils expanding greatly. Soon, my eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the ‘hospital’ room around me.
It wasn’t a cartoon world which I was presented; it looked perfectly normal to me. I had expected it to be a cartoony world, as I deduced that ‘for Celestia’s sake’ and ‘scaring the hay out of her’ sounded childish as hell. And that they weren’t normal human sentences. I expected to see something out of the Hub’s cartoon lineup, really. I blinked a few times, and my eyes focused. I looked around.
Once I set eyes on the two figures to the side of my bed, I could give myself a proper examination. One of the figures, the purplish one, turned a standing mirror so that I could see myself. The beige figure stepped aside, as my eyes came into focus. I couldn’t see the people behind the mirror, though. I sort of expected myself to look mangled or disfigured, but I looked fine, from what I could see at least.
But that wasn’t the point. I finally caught a glance of the two ‘people’, after the mirror was moved out of the way.
Oh how broken I looked. It looked like my very soul had just, just literally, spontaneously collapsed in on itself. My left eye twitched, as the awkward silence took over.
And then, my left eye stayed ‘twitchy’. My irises and pupils shrunk, like a pony’s would. A huge, almost ear-to-ear grin that only said one word, spread across my face.
And that word was paranoia.
“Are you... are you alright?” Twilight asked me.
I finally snapped out of it, my facial features returning to a deadpan. “Yes. Actually, I’m fine, but I’m not so sure about my sanity...”
The unicorn perked up its ears at my meek response. Wait a tick. This was a god-damn unicorn! And not only that, it was Twilight Sprinkle. Or was it Sparkle? Either way, why was her voice not a stranger to me? “Why? Is something wrong?” She asked with a newfound sense of concern.
I couldn’t help but crack a smile across my bandaged face. “Nothing’s wrong... nothing’s wrong...” I said calmly. Afterwards, I sighed silently in relief.
“Oh... o-... okay then.” Twilight sounded quite a bit confused. “Could I ask you a... few questions, if you don’t mind?” the unicorn asked.
As soon as I heard her ask that, my smile grew. I had imagined myself in this situation, but not in a hospital bed. Hell, none of my fantasies involved a damn hospital. But, that wasn’t an issue here. “Go right ahead...” I coughed a little bit. My throat was rather dry, after all.
“Okay. For one, I’d like to know your name. If you... if you have one, that is.” Twilight said.
The stallion sighed, and headed for the door. “Well, I’m off. Gotta get back to Appleoosa, my wife’s probably worried sick about me.” He left the room.
I knew it rhymed with Jack. Now, it wasn’t that I didn’t remember it. But being in a thirty-two thousand year-long lucid dream then dying upon being thawed out doesn’t exactly help your memory, okay!?! “Z... Zach, I think?” I replied.
“What do you mean, ‘you think’?” Twilight cocked her head at me.
I sighed. “How long was I under? There was this looong, loooooong lucid dream. Can’t really remember a lot of things. Not that I forgot them, but you get what I mean. Too busy living out my dreams... in a dream, heh, dreamception.” I chuckled a little bit.
Twilight chuckled, just because she didn’t exactly know what else would make me feel comfortable. The forced laughter was waaay too obvious. “Well, you were... unconscious for longer than you could imagine. Heck, all I can do is guess.”
“What, was I cryogenically frozen or something?” I asked. ‘Didn’t know pony technology exceeded that of Earth. Then again, I could be wrong...’
“Cryogenically?”
‘Nevermind then.’
“Ah, nevermind, I don’t know how to explain it. But seriously, how long was I out for?” I asked solemnly.
“Two weeks after you were thawed.” she replied. Hold the phone, thawed?
It was starting to come back to me. The ice. The frozen wasteland. Falling down. Crying. Succumbing to hypothermia. Dying.
Me pissing myself. Oh for God’s sake, why did that memory come back?
“Are you... crying?” Twilight asked, her voice full of concern and worry.
Knowing that I couldn’t lie, I just nodded and sniffled as my facial bandages were stained with tears.
“What’s... what’s wrong?”
‘OHHH GOD, NOOO!’ I cried out mentally in agony as I clenched my teeth, closing my eyes. Tears just flowed. If you really wanted to make me cry, all you had to do was ask what was wrong when I was on the edge.
I was crying because I both hated the fact my body was split from Earth, and loved being in Equestria at the same time. How did your handsome and sexy hero (not really) know that this was Equestria? Well, for one, I was a Brony. And two, with my fantasies during my lucid dream state, I never forgot about Equestria. As two thirds of my fantasies involved it.
I was going to miss my family and best friends, that was for certain. Every good thing that happened to me, all my hopes, my dreams! And my chances of getting to Heaven were utterly crushed! I doubted that there was Christianity in Equestria, highly doubted it. And I know that by what you’ve seen so far, I probably looked and sounded like the kind of guy who would rather burn a Bible than read it. But you can trust me when I say that there was a path to being a Christian- and clearly, there was a wrong turn there for me. Or as a good friend of mine would say, ‘The road to bad is easier to take than the one to good’. That saying goes for many things as well, not just religion.
At this point, the sounds created by my throat were like someone about to throw up. Gagging and choking on my own breaths in an attempt to hold back my cries.
Twilight was about to get the trash can next to the bed for me to throw up in due to this. She hadn’t heard somepony- no, anything cry like this in her entire life. Not even herself. But there was nothing for me to heave. All the nutrition I’ve had in the last two weeks of my rebirth had come in a liquid form. Is that why I tasted grass and alfalfa earlier?
She was seriously starting to feel sorry for me, who was still crying. Unsure of what to do to comfort me, she thought of hugging me. Soon, she decided to do just that. “I-... it’s okay,” Twilight said, softly embracing me. She was slightly surprised at how warm I was. People in my family tended to be ‘warm-blooded’, if you would.
‘No!’ I seriously despised being physically comforted when crying, it just made me feel like I was being babied. Not that it didn’t make me feel good (not that way, you perverts out there), but still. My sense of touch and my nerves were slowly returning to me. Her embrace was soft and delicate. “Why is my skin so moist?” My nethers also felt strange. As if I had just been showered. Both eyes of mine opened up in shock, making me stop crying. “Did you...” I couldn’t find the words.
“Did I what?” Twilight looked at me in confusion.
I sighed. “I mean, do... do you know if somebody- er somepony, washed me? I feel like I was just in the shower...”
She also sighed, but her sigh was unable to be picked up by my ears. “Well your skin was going to crack and dry out, not to mention smell bad if we left you there,” the unicorn told me. As she spoke, her voice was getting quieter and quieter. “That aside, we needed to know a bit more about your anatomy... so...”
‘Is she, is she blushi- oh God, please don’t tell me...’ “You checked me out, didn’t you?” I deadpanned, resisting making a shit-eating grin.
“W-what?! No! It wasn’t THAT kind of checking-out!” Her eyes went wide as she got off of the bed. Her ears fell a bit against the sides of her head, the pink hue against her purple cheeks looked a bit odd. Very cute, though. “We just needed to know more--”
That did not stop the laughter that my lungs were barely containing. I wanted to hold back. Immediately, I regretted it. My lungs and facial muscles were unable to handle all the stimuli which were assaulting my senses. Damn my sense of humor. Damn it to hell. “Shh shh shh shh...” I held an index finger up to her mouth while I said this, silencing her. She went cross-eyed, looking at my finger. With a tone that blatantly stated my struggle with the laughter, I continued. “It’s fine. But you know, you could have just asked me.”
“Are... are you sure, Zach?” Twilight’s facial features returned to normal.
“Yeah. Anyway, you had more questions for me, I think?” A small smile cracked across my shrouded face.
And so began the great “Question Barrage.” I will spare you the details, as some of these were pretty stupid- Like ‘Why do you have no fur on your body?’ and ‘Why doesn’t the human penis have a sheathe?’. Yeah. She asked that.
Not even kidding.
- - - - About Two Hours Later...
“A-are we done?” I asked, fearing for my life. She better not blackmail me. I would destroy her if she did.
“Well, yes and no. There were several reasons I decided to interview you now. First, since you’ve been in a coma, I was hoping these questions would clear your memory and make your brain start working again.” She stopped there, smiling at me. “Two, you’re still suffering from muscular atrophy and who knows what other conditions. This period allowed yourself to get acclimated to the current environment. Third, I was so excited to learn more about you! Not everyday you get to meet a living fossil!”
‘Twilight, you really are a bitch sometimes. I am not a fossil.’ This would not be the only time I thought this to myself. Still, she did revive me, so I kept this to myself. For now, at least.
“Lastly, I was buying time for others to get ready to meet you.” She said.
“Well...” Trying to think of a proper word to say, even though it was extremely obvious, the previous reasons for interviewing did make sense. I needed some real food though, and something with protein. My damn ribs looked like they were attached to pale white skin. Almost like a skeleton.
At least though, I was too numb both physically and mentally to realize it. I did, however, feel the weakness all over my body.
“I guess, thank you?” I looked at her with a tiny smile.
She nodded in response. “You’re welcome.” As she looked at my face, she giggled. “Aww, aren’t you so cute? Just like a puppy fossil!”
“...” If I had the strength to facepalm, I would have. But unfortunately, I didn’t. Damn you Windows 7! Something needed to be blamed. Even though I didn’t exactly like being called a ‘cute fossil’, I blushed and looked away.
“I was just joking, Zach.” Twilight chuckled at me.
“Sure you were.” I rolled my eyes, before looking up at the ceiling. “Huh, would you look at that. Gullible’s written on the ceiling.”
“What?” Twilight glanced up, and she looked back down at me, with a confused look on her face.
“Call me cute again, and you’ll regret it once I’m feeling better.” I threatened, with the cold wrath of doom in my tone. Not like it did much for me- I doubted that I was capable of even slapping her across the face without getting my arm broken. Why would I do that over somebody calling me cute, anyway? Because I was more handsome than I was cute. And when someone called me cute, I just hated it. More than ‘fossil’.
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh... you, don’t like being called cute?”
I just shook my head in response. “Nope. Just do me a favor by not calling me cute, Twilight. I answered your questions. Is that too much to ask for?” My whole was dead, I looked weirdly Halloweenish, and I was stuck in a world that had no Arizona Green Tea. Geez, show some compassion. I coughed, before a ringing sounded throughout my head. I winced. I hadn’t been fed in a little while, and it was starting to get to me.
“No, I can do that.” She shook her head, before she saw me wincing. “Z-... Zach?” Twilight looked at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“... Hungry...” was the only word that came out of my mouth.
“I’ll be right back then,” She said, quickly rushing out of the room to get me some food. Or at least, a poor excuse for food.
While she was gone, a thought just popped into my head.
It wasn’t very soon until I started to feel extremely weak and starving. Where in the hell was Twilight?! A better question to ask was, why would they let her- an unlicensed citizen -tend to a recovering patient?! Just, what the fuck!?
I continued to lay there, groaning and moaning like some form of retarded zombie. I needed protein, and I needed it fast. There was a button on the side of my bed, and I was starting to go nuts. My animalistic instincts began to shout and claw their way through my common sense. I no longer needed protein. I had to have it. Without proper food which had vitamins and whatnot, my brain started to go awol.
But my prayers were answered by myself, as I could no longer resist slamming my hand down on the button. Not even a minute later, a nurse rushed into the room. “Y-yes? What’s-”
“... Meat...”
“U-um…wh-wha-”
“I need meat...” I practically pleaded and begged her. “Please…” As she was in grabbing range, I reached out a hand. She froze in either fear or shock. I didn’t care. Placing my hand gently on her face, she shivered at how abnormally cold my hand was. “... Go...” I ordered weakly, my hand then slipping down and hitting the side of the bed.
The nurse didn’t skip a beat. Her face was beet-red, but she soared out of the room.
It took maybe twenty minutes, until both the nurse and Twilight Sparkle returned to my recovery room.
Thank God almighty. I was experiencing starvation. If they left me there, the muscle atrophy, hypotension, electrolyte imbalance and dehydration would kick into high gear. The meat that they got was a large t-bone steak. Where did they get that cut of meat? Obviously from a cow. But then again, it’s kinda strange when Canterlot’s population is entirely composed of ponies.
As soon as they entered the room, the scent of the steak hit my nose. Saliva started to drip from my mouth as I laid my vicious eyes on the target. I was a meat lover- I didn’t go two days without having some form of meat, whether it be spam or beef boujon. “Zach!” Twilight exclaimed in grave worry. “Oh my Celestia, I-I-I’m so sorry! The girls were out in the lobby and-”
She was cut off by me. I stood up. Yes. I stood the fuck up, ignoring the pain. Desperation and survival instinct had taken over at this point- I snatched the cut of cooked meat from the plate, and began to quite literally devour it. Both of the mares watched in shock and awe as I stood not even a meter away from them, devouring the meat like a rabid dog.
The look on my face, which they could now see due to the bandages being torn off (by me), was utterly terrifying. I looked like a dog who hadn’t been fed in weeks. I looked like death itself, cracked skin here and there, the veins showing through my ashen white skin. Hell, you could have called me a vampire.
As soon as I finished the steak, I groaned loudly in pain. I forgot about one crucial detail in my feast. Let’s put it into comparison. In World War Two, the surviving victims who were rescued from the concentration camps by the North-American armies weren’t allowed to eat like crazy. Because they were starved, and their stomachs shrunk. If they ate too much, they ran the risk of having their stomachs explode.
And due to me eating that huge cut of meat, it travelled down to my gut. And oh, it hurt, but I doubt it exploded. Because if it did, I’m pretty sure I would be crying from the pain. Don’t blame me, you would probably do the exact same shit if you were in my shoes! Someone presents you with a t-bone steak when you’re starving, you don’t just turn it down!
I fell back onto the bed, shaking from the new pain all over my body. As soon as I laid down from falling though, the pain corrected itself due to me being temporarily stationary. Little did I know, but they had put me on a depressant medicine, giving me about two tablets a day while I was out. You see, they were concerned about me being hostile or aggressive when I awoke. If they didn’t put me on the depressants, I would have had a heart attack from the shock. What you saw before wasn’t even the beginning of how I would even start to react.
Not to mention, my teeth hurt like hell. Not eating properly in a while and just eating like that pulled a few gums loose.
“A-are you alright?” Twilight asked me with concern, approaching the bed.
“Nnnngh…” I responded, holding back moans of pain. Every joint in my body was screaming at me, probably calling me a son of a bitch by the looks of it. I tried to adjust myself, then I felt something shift in my spine. I yelped, but realized that it was just my back cracking. At the same time that I yelped, I jumped in the bed, causing my arms and legs to flail around a bit. Cracks sounded throughout the room, but once they were done, I felt better.
Did I just need to stretch out this whole time or some shit!? The pain in my mouth stopped, and I answered her question like a normal human being. “I… I don’t know…” I panted. “I think I ate too much…”
“Oh no… is your stomach okay?!” Twilight’s voice was shaking with obvious fear.
‘How’d she know that I have a stoma- oh right, I can eat stuff...’ I would have slapped myself across the face if I could have. Not worth the pain, anyways. “No, my eyes hurt, just looking at purple hurts my eyes. And I’m screaming in unbearable agony.” I smirked like the smartass I was.
If it weren’t for the fact that she knew that I was joking, I’m sure that Twilight would have bitch-slapped me right then and there. She groaned. “Sarcasm is unbecoming of you…”
“You don’t say. Considering you don’t know me at all, that’s pretty damn judgemental of you.” I weakly flipped her the middle.
As I expected, she simply cocked her head at the gesture. Should’ve put my hand to my chin and flipped that out at her.
“It means ‘screw you’.”
“That’s not very nice…” Twilight’s ears flopped against the sides of her head. The nurse was just confused out of her poor mind, so she just left.
“Really? Do you think at all before you speak at times?” I turned away, mumbling to myself. It’s all I could do, considering the situation.
“What?”
“I’m not a fossil. I’m away from my family, friends, technology, and everything I’ve known and loved.” Aside from being in Equestria, but that was the least of my concerns at this moment. “Also, you’ve been treating me like a goddamn science experiment. I’m a living being. And I’m handsome, not cute. Fuckin’ A, Twilight.” Why was I being so rude to her? Because I was a 'quiet one'. I always repressed my emotions, and due to this, I kinda let it all loose. That, and I really didn’t care at this moment. She deserved it for treating me how she did, after all.
She was looking away from me, but I gave her no empathy. Twilight deserved it, in my opinion. Treated me like the exact opposite of a living being. “I’m… I’m sorry…” She said, her voice already containing the sweet emotion of guilt.
“Don’t apologize. I’m a fossil, remember? Not living? Not sapient? I can’t feel emotions apparently, so fuck, let’s just resurrect this fossil, see if it lives. Let’s fucking antagonize it, shall we? Bring it back into a world of suffering. Yeah, yeah, that’ll do us ALL a bunch of good. I’d rather stay dead and rest in peace than be treated like this.” My voice was trembling with anger, and my left eye was twitching. I was exaggerating, but I wanted to see tears. Honestly, I hated being made fun of. But for all my life, I was too stubborn, bottled it up, and verbally beat people down until they either stopped responding or just simply left.
“You don’t have to be so mean...” Twilight responded. I saw no sign of tears.
“Can I ask something?” I decided to try and be reasonable. It wasn’t all just her fault. “What’s the plan? Why was I resurrected? Am I going to be a social display for a zoo? I mean, look at me! I can barely stand, let alone run for my life! You could end me, right here, right now, for some big-shot company. Do I get to live my life as I see fit?”
Her answer sort of caught me off guard. I was expecting a ‘I don’t know’, but then she tore me down. “Zach, you were raised from the dead because Princess Celestia knew you were still alive. It wouldn’t be fair to just let you die. And I apologize, I really, truly do, for the way I acted and treated you. It wasn’t necessary… and I understand why you were mean to me.” She perked up her ears, smiling a little. “But, in my opinion, I would rather give something innocent which died a second chance rather than keeping it dead.”
Thank God for the depressants, because I wouldn’t have understood what she said if I wasn't drugged up. I also noticed she never answer my question about what would become of me. “I can see that, yeah, but what happens to me, eh?” Through there shines my Canadian accent! Oh Canadian accent, for the love of fuck you come in at the wrong times!
Twilight sighed. “As far as I know, you’ll recover, and be set free. If it means anything, I could talk to my friends-”
“There you are, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash’s voice suddenly called. In walked five familiar ponies.
‘Ermagerd it’s the Mane Sax.’ Oh my God it’s the Mane Six. One part of me was excited.
My di-
My eyes, they screamed in pain! Oh sweet lord, staring at beige walls all day made my eyes unable to handle the colorful coats and eyes. I smashed my eyes shut, and just pretended to fall asleep. I didn’t want to deal with meeting them right now. Dammit Twilight. Now I was in a bad mood.
Twilight greeted her friends with a smile. “Hey girls!” And bucked me in my damn legs.
“OWWW! SON OF A TAIWANESE CRACK WHORE!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, scaring the daylights out of them all, aside from Twilight and the pink one. Couldn’t remember her name.
But the pink one started laughing her haunches and flanks off, falling over and rolling around. I don’t know what she found funny- me being in pain, or me shooting my mouth off. Good thing she was my favorite. Huh, can’t believe I managed to even remember that. “This is Zach, the creature, well, human that I told you all about.”
“... What’s a Taiwanese crack whore?” Fluttershy asked timidly, her voice rather shaky. Goddamn, I never thought I would hear those words come out of a pony’s mouth. Let alone Fluttershy’s mouth.
Rarity looked uneasy. Did she know what any of those words meant?
The orange one (couldn’t remember her name) looked at me with concern for my mental state as I was rolling around the bed helplessly in pain, holding my left leg. But I answered Fluttershy’s question. “I’ll tell you when you’re older!”
“I’m nineteen…” Fluttershy muttered quietly.
I hissed in pain, and groaned for a long time. “Twilight, I’m gonna kill you!...” I said weakly, finally staying stationary.
Twilight ignored my threat. So did everypony else, but Rarity became a bit more unnerved at this.
Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, was still laughing. I mean, come on, ‘Taiwanese crack whore’ couldn’t have been that funny.
“... Well,” Twilight sighed. “Zach, these are my friends. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity.” She introduced them and pointed to the mares as she named them off.
“Twilight, Ah’m a lil’ bit disappointed in ‘ya though… You didn’t say a gosh-darn word to us, an’ just up‘n left for Canterlot. You’ve been gone ‘fer what, two weeks ‘r somethin’? We were worried that ‘ya could’ve been kidnapped.” Applejack frowned. So there was kidnapping here in Equestria.
“Yeah, Twilight. I was trying to get into the library one day to get a new Daring-Do book, and Spike was dozing off on the couch! I couldn’t wake the guy up, so I just left. You really need to tell us when you do stuff like that!” Rainbow Dash argued.
“She comes and visits me every day, never brings me a book or something to entertain myself with.” I barely held back a grin, and decided to cheer myself up and get myself out of this bad funky mood. “If it weren’t for the daily sex, I’d ask for a new nurse.” I put on a shit-eating grin, and Twilight’s cheeks burned a flaming blush as her mouth opened in shock. I am too much of a smartass- have I mentioned that?
“D-DAILY SEX!?!”
I couldn’t handle it. I busted out into tears, I laughed so hard. But nobody, or pony- not even Pinkie Pie -was laughing with me. I was choking on my own saliva and tears, but I was still laughing. Totally worth it though.
“Twilight?!” Rainbow looked at her friend. Why was she not denying it?!
“Oh yeah. Blowjobs mostly. She can’t g-”
“No wonder she visited him so much...” Rarity’s eyes opened a bit.
“Zach! Enough! Stop it!” Twilight shut her eyes. “And we never did anything!”
“Are you sayin’ that this mule is yankin’ our chains?” Applejack narrowed her eyes. That was too cruel and crude for a joke at her friend’s expense. “No offense,” She said to the mule outside the door.
“None taken.”
“Oh, she did more than yank my chai-AUGGGH!” I just had to speak up, didn’t I?
Have you ever been smashed in the nuts by a sledgehammer?
I have. Recently, in fact. About two seconds ago.
That sledgehammer was Twilight's hoof.
The pain spread like wildfire to my abdomen, and tears welled up in my eyes. Okay, I guess I was being a little, no, a lot out of line. I coughed and coughed and coughed, on the brink of throwing up even. Twilight was shaking with anger, and her friends had to pull her away from me to keep her from utterly decimating my balls. “Fffuuucking cheap shot…” I gagged. That was the hardest that I’ve ever been hit in the balls. I had it coming, though.
After an argument that I couldn’t hear, they all left the room, leaving me to wallow in my agony.
Sometimes you just remember things when you're alone in complete silence. Things that you otherwise wouldn't have paid any form of mind to, or things that you've long since tried to forget. Though these things may be bad, when in an unnatural or unfamiliar environment, they bring a sense of comfort- even if they are bad. This is because the memories, both good and bad, which come from your familiar surroundings, can comfort you- even in the most unfamiliar ones.
And apparently, one of my memories was- well, it'll speak for itself.
"Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga! I'm one-hundred per-cent nigga! NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! I'M TWO-HUNDRED PER-CENT NIGGUH!" The obscene words travelled out of my mouth as I laid in the hospital bed. Here's a tidbit of background for all of you crazy beavers- about a month and a half had passed since I 'met' the members of the Mane Six, and I was just starting to settle into the hospital's environment. At the risk of sounding optimistic- albeit, it's a good risk to take -I was doing much, much better. My legs could actually carry me, for one, and my mood changed dramatically, from 'cynical, depressed asshat' to the 'mild-mannered Canadian' I always was.
"Z-... Zach...?" Twilight Sparkle's confused voice came through the doorway. She had a complete look of dumbfoundment on her face, as she looked at my healthier form. No longer did my body need the bandages, my skin had recovered, and the veins which were once visible faded away, and my actual nurse got me some hair gel to slick my hair back with every day. Yeah, that's how I roll. Nigga.
"-why do police hate us niggas? NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! THEY HATE US 'CUZ OUR DICKS IS BIGG-Ooooh... Hi Twilight. Fancy seeing you here, eh?" I just realized that I shouldn't be singing that song. I was so caught up in it that my eyes didn't even pick up Twilight's form enter the room. You could say that I was 'on a roll'. The reason why I stopped, though, is because Twilight knew what 'nigger' meant, and how discriminatory and condescending it was back on Earth.
Twilight glared flaming daggers at me. "I thought you said you weren't a racist?" She was so solemn, it creeped me out.
"I ain't racist, I'm black." My mind forced me to say that, as I crossed my arms, doing my best 'stereotypical gangbanger' voice.
She smirked. "Nah, you'se whi-zite as snow." Twilight's voice was actually very 'hood', for somebody as geeky as her. Then, she sat down next to me, on a small stool.
"Damn! I knew that you knew hood lingo but I never thought you'd use it," I said mindfully. It wasn't quite like her, but then again, she was probably trying her best to make me feel comfortable, by any means necessary. We both shared a laugh, before she asked me how I was feeling. "Oh, man I feel great. I am going places!" I shot my arm out, pointing and looking at the blank wall in front of me. I forced myself to keep the position until Twilight started giggling. Once she stopped, I asked, "When do you think I'll be getting out?" I took a mental note that something looked a tad off about her today.
Twilight sighed. "Any time, actually. You were initially only supposed to be in here until you could function fully, and you've been like this for about three days, so now you're just using the hospital as a place of rest."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. She nodded in response. "Well then," I sat up on the bed. "I guess I can finally thank your friend Rarity for making me those clothes, in person." My hand gestured over to the small, organized piles of clothing articles; Rarity had made me a hat, a jacket, a shirt, boxers, some jeans (which were very comfy, mind you), socks, and had a leatherworker fashion me some running shoes and a pair of boots. I told her that once I got the money I'd pay her back, and I was still trying to figure out what I could do to repay her easily and as fast as possible.
"I guess you can," Twilight chuckled, her chipper tone degrading into a 'matter-of-fact' demeanor. "And you might want to uh... I'unno..."
"Huh?"
"Look down."
"Lemme guess, no pants?"
"Yep."
"And it's..."
"Yes, it is."
My palm met my face softly for a good three seconds. "Being a man has its downs, and its ups," My voice projected in a higher pitch. Now, I'll admit my cheeks were red as the sun is a star, but I sounded extremely casual about my 'indecent' exposure. This was due to Twilight's scientific, biological 'investigation', as she called it. I labeled it window shopping, but hey, it's fun toying around with her. What!? She was so easy to tee-off! Don't you give me that shit, you know it's cute when she's angry!
Immediately, I rolled over the bed, and put on some clothes. The boxers Rarity fashioned for me were beige, made of double-layered linen, too. They were real nice. The pair of 'jeans' I slid on were actually black track pants with a denim pattern and texture. The shirt I picked was just a simple black, to match my jeans and make me look imposing.
The socks I got were white, and weren't too 'gritty' or 'smooth', they were balanced; how I liked 'em on my feet. And finally, the hat I got was a black baseball cap, with the Grand Theft Auto Five and Los Santos logo on it. "B-E-A-Utiful," I chuckled, spinning around to show off my look. "Just like what I'd wear back home," I commented.
"Yeah, Rarity is extremely talented in her craft." Twilight remarked as I packed the other clothes into a bag. Not even a single comment? Now I knew somethin' was up. "I actually came to pick you up, since I got a complaint letter from the hospital."
"Shit, good thing we're bookin' it then." I snickered, before we both left the building. Of course, I had to sign out and do a lick of paperwork, but it wasn't much since I did the information sheet yesterday.
And man, it was good to see natural light. "WOOHOO!!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIIIVE!" I flung my slim arms up above my head triumphantly, ponies in the street stopping to look at me and Twilight, in both confusion and paranoia. I didn't even care, I was feelin' good, man, feelin' good. Twilight looked a tad concerned though, as I did raise my voice a considerable bit. She nudged me, and I sighed. "Man I've never been this happy to be outdoors." I admitted. My body was still considerably slim, which felt good; I felt much lighter than I did back when I was on Earth, about a fifty pound difference. Most of the lost mass was muscular, though, so I was considerably weaker. Made me a tad faster though.
"W-we should... get going."
"Shush, you're ruining the moment."
"The moment? How could you call this a moment. Zach?"
"Shhh, my vampiric emissary."
"Emissary? Vampiric?"
"Have yet to learn of specific human culture, you do, Twilight." I projected in a Yoda-esque voice. "We must make haste; the new moon is upon us, and I wish to see an eclipse and be back before breaking dawn."
"... But it's the middle of the day?" Twilight was confused; at this point, we were walking, and ponies had moved on. "And judging by the way you formulated your sentence, you're trying to lead me on as though I get a reference... wait... vampiric, he put emphasis on my name... from his tone of voice he sounded like he was being condescending... Ah! The reference is to a disappointing franchise or title, isn't it?" She smirked slyly, looking up to me.
'Hot damn, she cooked my goose.' I thought. "A disappointing franchise or title it is not. A disgrace to vampires, it is." I said in the same Yoda-like tone.
She connected the dots real fast. "Is this disgrace called 'Twilight'?"
"Outclass me in overall IQ, yeah, fine by me. But outclass me in linguistics and tone recognition... I ain't surprised," I smiled at her as we strolled through the streets of Canterlot confidently, using my regular voice though. "It shames me to think that you're a librarian, you'd clearly excel at being a forensic scientist or a profiler of the FIB."
Twilight blushed at my compliment, not saying anything in response to it. "The Federal Inspection Bureau? Really?"
"Y'know the show I was telling you about earlier? Criminal Minds?"
"Yes, what about it?"
"You're just like Penelope Garcia, baby cakes." I snickered, obviously referring to her as one of the nicknames Derek gave Garcia. "Wait no, you're more like a combination of Garcia and a bit of Reid, too. No, a lot of Reid, now that I think 'bout it. What'd'ya think, eh?" I looked to her for her answer.
She thought for a moment. "I can't really argue with what you said, Zach. From what you told me, Garcia sounds a lot like me though..." Twilight seemed a bit detached, maybe even distant. My once welcoming smile turned to a look of neutrality as I studied her face; she didn't look like she was doing so good. Her eyes had bags under them- covered by makeup, but still not invisible -and her walking seemed very forced, as though she was having some trouble. She didn't seem very attentive, either, but she didn't seem grumpy either.
"Is there cannabis in Equestria?" I asked blatantly, my tone clearly interested in the question.
Twilight squinted at me, eyeing me up and down for less than a second as we walked. "Yes, just like Earth's cannabis, to be exact. Why?"
'Theory one eliminated, theory two probable.' I thought to myself, before elaborating. "The way you walk seems slouched and kinda forced, 'ya look parched, and your facial expression don't make you look like you're very awake. How much uh, sleep did you get last night?"
She didn't answer for a good five seconds, squinting off into the distance as though she was in thought. "Two hours..." Twilight sighed. "I couldn't get any sleep." Thank hell she didn't figure that I was subtly accusing her of takin' a puff'a Pineapple Express. Then again, knowing Twilight, Pineapple Express'd probably take just an edge off.
Like chipping the nipple on the icebreast that sunk the Tittytanic. Ahem, I meant, like chipping the dick off of the icecock that sucked the titfu- y'know what?! Screw it. Titanic, Shmytanic, what's it matter to me anyway?!
"Man I know that feeling too well..." I admitted. It wasn't often that I could get a good night's sleep when I was younger; due to me usually being up on the computer, writing and editing websites that always led to nowhere. Then again, I couldn't blame her for not getting any sleep. Even now, even though we became buddies, she was still very skeptical and interested in human culture. I of course, didn't know everything. 'If only Mr. Rombaut was here... To hell with it though, Earth's probably fucked itself over and under anyway...' My hand travelled up to my face and scratched my chin. "You shouldn't neglect your bodily needs, Twilight, regardless of the situation..." I advised. "When I was younger I would always get anywhere from three to six hours of sleep, which was real bad. I never had the motivation to get any work done due to my sleep deprivation. If you don't straighten your schedule out you'll be all over the place and stressed up to your eyeballs, like my mother." It was true, afterall; my mother and me never got that much sleep. But my 'Ma probably had a slight case of insomnia.
Twilight didn't really respond that much afterwards, just meek, simple nods. I could see that her energy was depleted so dramatically, to the point that if you gave me a chart I could even tell you how much energy she had left per hour. In a percentage.
Soon enough, though, we weathered the storm all the way back to Ponyville (albeit Twilight slept through it while on the train), the humble village far from the royalty of Canterlot. Once we arrived at the station, I snapped out of my trance. In this case, 'trance' meant 'meditative position'. Twilight got the tickets paid for on the royalty's tab, to which I remarked as 'spoiled'. Stephen McNeil, or whoever the bloody two-bit hell Nova Scotia's premier was, never gave the citizens any free tickets for flights'r nothin'.
Stuck-up, spoiled bi-
"Twilight, wake up." I nudged the unicorn in question, and got a groan in response. She was conscious, but she wanted those extra '5 minutes', or in her case, '4 hours'. I didn't do well with long trips either, and when I get woken up, I just kinda snap into it. "Alright, I'll count to three. If you're not up, I'll drag you, which would most likely give you scrapes, and make things look terrifying for the ponyfolk, causing a panic, but due to my entire lack of social shame and guilt I will, regardless of a disappointed or accusing look." My voice had a cold, meaningful (in a 'if you don't do it I'll put two rounds in the back of your skull and do it myself' kind of way, only, no killing involved) undertone as I whispered this into Twilight's left ear, which flopped down against her head.
She immediately got up, stretching. "Fine..." Twi' rolled her eyes.
And like that, we were in Ponyville, home to the Main Six.
I hesitated for a moment, having an uneased feeling in my core. "Somethin' ain't right, hold up." My voice commanded Twilight, who looked back to me as I glanced around a little bit.
"What is it?"
"N-nevermind, just, let's hurry up to the library you were talking about."
u.'