Luna: Not a Very Nice Mare (Sherlock, A Study In Pink)
SPOILER WARNING: This scene contains reference to the BBC Series Sherlock's 1st episode. DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE SPOILERS!
Sherlock © the BBC
Luna, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Celestia and Generic Guard Unicorn © Hasbro. Derpy © the fandom.
A police pony draped a blanket over Luna's back for the 3rd time in as many minutes. She frowned at it, but didn't bother removing it this time; they'd just put it back on her again.
Inspector Rainbow ducked under the police line as she trotted over. "Why do I have this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me," Luna complained to the pegasus.
"Yeah, it's for shock," Rainbow answered.
"I'm not in shock!"
"Yeah, well some of the gals want to take pictures," Rainbow said with a grin.
Luna's frown deepened and she turned away and changed the topic."So the shooter, no sign?"
"Cleared off before we got here," Rainbow admitted. "But a pony like that would have had enemies, I guess. One of them could have been following her, but…" she sighed. "Got nothing to go on."
Luna looked back at Rainbow and shook her head in disapproval. "Oh, I wouldn't say that."
"Okay," Rainbow said, leaning against the emergency wagon. "Gimme."
"The bullet they just dug out of the wall's from a hoofgun," Luna said, switching to lecture mode. "Kill shot over that distance from that kind of a weapon, that's a crack-shot you're looking for, but not just a marksman, a fighter. Her hoof couldn't have shaken at all, so clearly she's acclimatized to violence. She didn't fire 'til I was in immediate danger though, so strong moral principle." She glanced towards the police carts, searching the crowd. "You're looking for a mare probably with a history of military service and-" she paused slightly as she noticed a familiar pony standing beyond the police line. "-nerves of steel…" She trailed off; the other pony looked right at her, and then suddenly glanced away. Rainbow followed Luna's gaze. Abruptly, the detective pony stiffened. "Actually, you know what, ignore me."
"Sorry?" The pegasus blinked. Was Luna actually saying she was wrong?
"Ignore all of that, it's just the, uh, the shock, talking." Luna started to walk away.
"Where're you going?" the police pony demanded in surprise.
"I just need to talk about the…the rent." Luna kept walking.
"Yeah, well I've still got questions-"
"Not now! I'm in shock, look I've got a blanket!" Luna held up a corner of the fabric for emphasis.
"Luna-"
"And I've just caught you a serial killer, more or less."
Rainbow thought about it for a second, then nodded slowly. "Okay, we'll bring you in tomorrow. Go on." She smiled as Luna trotted off. As if she couldn't tell where that line of thought had been going.
***
Luna balled up the blanket and telekinetically tossed it into one of the carts as she ducked under the police line.
"Uhm," Twilight began, clearing her throat, "Sergeant Derpy's been explaining…everything. Two pills? Really awful business, isn't it?" Her eyes kept darting up and to the side as she talked. "Awful."
Luna gave a little smile. "Good shot," she complimented.
Twilight blinked, jaw open in surprise. "Yes, yes, must've been. Through that window."
"Well you'd know," Luna said. Twilight's eyes stopped trying to hide as she accepted that she'd been caught. "Need to get the powder burns off your hooves. I don't think you'd serve time, but let's avoid the court case." The unicorn cleared her throat awkwardly. "Are you alright?" Luna asked.
"Yes, course I'm alright."
"Well, you have just killed a mare."
"Yes, I…" Twilight nodded. "It's true…" A macabre smile spread across her face. "But she wasn't a very nice mare."
"No," Luna agreed. "No, she wasn't really, was she."
"No, and a really awful cabby." The two laughed.
"That's true," Luna continued. "She was a bad cabby. You should've seen the route she took us to get here."
Twilight tried to stifle a louder laugh. "Stop it, we can't giggle, it's a crime scene. Stop it."
"You're the one who shot her, not me." A blond grey police pegasus eyed them suspiciously through askew eyes.
"Keep your voice down!" Twilight insisted. "Sorry," she told the sergeant. "It's just, um, nerves."
"Sorry," Luna repeated. They were quiet for a moment as the pegasus walked away.
"You were gonna take that pill, weren't you," Twilight asked.
"Of course I wasn't," Luna said. "Biding my time. I knew you'd turn up."
"No you didn't. It's how you get your kicks, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever."
"Why would I do that?"
"'Cause you're an idiot."
The alicorn smiled at that. "Dinner?"
"Starving." They started walking again.
"End of Baker St., there's a good Chineighse, stays open 'til two," Luna suggested. "You can always tell a goodChineighse by the bottom of the door-"
Twilight saw an all to familiar figure step from a carriage along their path. "Luna, that's her. That's the mare I was talking to you about."
"I know exactly who that is." Luna slowed as the stallion approached.
"So, another case cracked," the white alicorn said. "How very public spirited. But that's never really your motivation, is it?"
"What are you doing here?" Luna asked in annoyance.
"As ever, I'm concerned about you."
"Yes, I've been hearing about your concern," Luna hissed
"Always so aggressive! It never occurred to you that you and I belong on the same side?"
"Oddly enough, no."
"We have more in common than you like to believe. This petty feud between us is simply childish. People will suffer. And you know how it always upset Mummy."
Twilight blinked as Luna balked at the jibe. "I upset her? Me? It wasn't me that upset her, Celestia."
"No, wait, Mummy? Who's Mummy?" The was unicorn was thoroughly confused now.
"Mother, our mother," Luna explained. "This is my sister, Celestia." She glared at her sibling. "Putting on weight again?"
Celestia gave a wan smile at the jab. "Losing it, in fact."
Twilight was still trying to process the information. "She's your sister?"
"Of course she's my sister," Luna said in exasperation.
"So she's not-"
"Not what?"
"I dunno. Criminal mastermind?"
Luna thought about it for a second. "Close enough."
"Oh, for goodness sake. I occupy a minor position in the Equestrian government," Celestia protested.
"She is the Equestrian government," Luna shot back. "When she's not too busy being the Royal Guard and the Seapony Intelligence Agency on a freelance basis. Good evening, Celestia. Try not to start a war before I get home, you know what it does to the traffic." She turned on her hoof and walked away. Twilight remained behind for a moment.
"So, when you say you're concerned about her, you actually are concerned?"
"Yes, of course."
"I mean it actually is a childish feud?"
"She's always been so resentful. You can imagine the Hearth's Warming Dinners."
"Yeah…No, God no. I better, um…hello again." The guard who had exited the carriage was familiar.
"Hello." He barely looked up from the scroll he was writing on.
"Y-yeah, we met, earlier this evening," Twilight pressed.
"Oh!" No recognition entered the stallion's eyes.
"Okay. Goodnight." The unicorn started to follow Luna.
"Goodnight, Doctor Sparkle," Celestia said politely.
Twilight caught up with Luna. "So, dim sum."
"Mmm. I can always predict the fortune cookies."
"No you can't."
"Almost can. You did get shot, though."
"Pardon?" Twilight blinked. She'd shot somepony, not the other way around.
"In Alpacastan. There was an actual wound."
"Oh! Yeah, shoulder."
"Shoulder! I thought so."
"No you didn't."
"The left one."
"Lucky guess."
"I never guess."
"Yeah you do." noticed Luna smiling. "What're you so happy about?"
"Mareiarty." Luna grinned even wider as she said the name.
"What's Mareiarty?"
"I've absolutely no idea." The two continued towards the restaurant. Celestia watched them go with a thoughtful expression
"Ma'am, should we go?" the guard asked.
The white alicorn ignored the question. "Interesting, that soldier filly. She could be the making of my sister, or make her worse than ever. Either way, we'd better upgrade their surveillance status. Grade 3, active."
The guard's horn glowed as he jotted notes on his scroll. "Sorry Ma'am, whose status?"
Celestia nodded after the two retreating ponies. "Princess Luna, and Doctor Sparkle."
***
Author's Note: Yes, this scene was Twilight as Sherlock, etc, until recently. However, since I've included that version here, I've decided to revert this one to the original idea I had, which was Luna as Sherlock, etc. I realized when I tried to extend those character equivalents over the whole run of the series that it didn't mesh, with alicorns being insanely powerful. Still, don't want to double post, so here's the start of my foray into ponification.